#to be fair sheari’s wife

[tennessoui]

I heard a quote today and it made me think of your couples counseling fic. It was about the walls and defenses we build in our mind and how that can only push people away. But "two vulnerable people will always find a way to connect." And I can just totally see Sheari saying that to obikin

I can so easily see this tbh

and also I can so easily see both obi-wan and anakin being like “IM the vulnerable one!!! He’s the one with the sky high shields and walls and defenses!!!”

and probably Sheari, who spent an entire night drinking wine and researching war tactics with her wife because maybe if she can speak their language, the generals will be able to understand her, is like “ok ok ok well in a battle, what do you try to do when your opponent has very strong defenses you can’t knock through immediately?”

and the two generals turn to look at each other very obviously using their mental bond to discuss war tactics before they turn back to her and they’re like “if the enemy is stationary and secure behind walls, siege. If they’re out on open level field same as us, trench warfare.”

and sheari’s like “ok ok good so why don’t you apply the same logic to your partner? dig a trench, wait him out. Stay. That’s the important part. No one wants to be vulnerable with someone they think is about to leave or capable of leaving”

but she’s lost them because Anakin disagrees with sieges on principle and they’re now arguing about which tactics of war are more effective and they’ve completely lost the plot and are too focused and kriffing stupid to pay attention to the metaphor

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 66 - EDM - Numbers

Perhaps this game represents the Sabres season; at least from a standings point of view this game last night was what being a Sabres fan has felt like this season. Favorable numbers toward the start followed by an ugly decline that turns the math against you. The simplest stat in hockey is goals. In this game last night Buffalo had more of those up until the dying minutes of the second period. It ended 4-3 Edmonton. I went into this game giving some good thought to the Phil Housley criticism. I thought: You know what, this guy is in his first NHL coaching job and in spite of it being his job, you could say he still is wrapping his head around what he’s got. I was feeling very generous having those thoughts and if the game didn’t kill the good will I was trying to foster for Housley then his postgame comments did. He said his team played 55 minutes of great hockey. The other 5 were bad minutes. That would be a nice piece of analysis with a team that consistently plays well and beats the teams they should. This team does not, and that comment is stupid. The numbers that do not represent time are against those comments. Jack Eichel scored two goals in a loss. Linus Ullmark was hung out to dry as his defense let up the greater number of high danger shots. The Oilers outplayed the Sabres in every statistical category except the powerplay and shots on goal. You had me fooled, Phil! I was sitting happy halfway through this game looking at the next four to five games being winnable! Boy, am I fool! The numbers are clear. After having an 83% chance of making the playoffs at the start of December, the Sabres are now nine points out at the start of March having gone 34 games without back to back wins! The 2014-2015 Tank team that was designed to lose and drove me to watch the Rangers most of that season, that team only got as bad as 31 games in that category. This ain’t it, Phil. I don’t know who I want to replace him in any intelligent way but when he’s back behind the bench for the home opener in October I am will not be a happy camper about it. This game was the microcosm of this season and oh so appropriately that microcosm ends in a loss.

The game starts off with an unlucky shorthanded goal against when Connor McDavid and Leon Draisaitl teamed up for the latter’s 41st goal of the season. Edmonton maybe wasting Connor McDavid and will likely miss the playoffs this season but there are guys tearing it up there in spite of it all. I hate that Buffalo and Edmonton are still comparable in this way because on the very same powerplay Jack Eichel revives the home crowd with a tight net-front goal to draw the score even again at 1. If there is one big positive for the Sabres in this game it was a full display of Jack Eichel’s leadership. The rest of this first period is a vision of what we thought the Sabres would be in 2019 in 2015. Jack Eichel helping Montour get a great chance. Okposo getting a great chance. Sheary knocking at the door. Jeff Skinner was chopping at that net like a lumberjack because he wants to get Rocket Rickard trophy votes. Casey Mittelstadt broke through Mikko Koskinen with a point-blank blast at 13:19 into the first period. The primary assist on that was Scott Wilson who, only now gets his first NHL point of the season having missed the majority of it with a gruesome ankle injury sustained way back in Training Camp. The fun only continued when Jack Eichel made it 3-1 unassisted in a no-look smacker that earned his team a standing applause as they went to the locker room for the first intermission! The likes of Jeff Skinner, Rasmus Ristolainen and Evan Rodrigues all shined bright with beautiful chances in the second period too. While the pushback came in the second that lead remained into the second half of the middle frame and I began to foolishly let myself hope looking at the schedule. Oh what a fool I am.

Less than four minutes left in the second period the whole Sabres defense was caught puck watching when Zack Kassian got a McDavid assist on a one-timer snipe that made Ullmark look confused. It’s now 3-2 Oilers and the floodgates are opened. A puck squirted out of a battle on the wall to Darnell Nurse who wired it home for the equalizer. Credit where credit is due, Jeff Skinner starts taking shots from Ovi spots to try and get the lead back, but the Oiler kept pushing. Give me an intermission, PLEASE! The horn to end the period did not come soon enough and with a mere five seconds left in the second period Adam Larsson takes a shot on net from way out that trickles in past Ullmark. Evidently Kyle Brodziak tipped it in, and I have not seen Ullmark angrier than after that goal. Some folks I heard wanted a challenge for a kicking motion by Brodziak but gee, I just don’t have the energy to litigate shit like that when the Sabres are this bad. Boos came down and Carter Hutton replaced Ullmark in net for the third. A one goal deficit never looked so demoralizing for a team and the Sabres never looked like they were going to come back. Sure, like many times this season its been encouraging to just see the Sabres have legitimate rushes in on net; hell, Brandon Montour is worth the price just for his ability to pass the puck to the offense if nothing else. In spite of Jeff Skinner not getting the puck across the line behind the Edmonton netminder and Jason Pominville blocking his own tap in (?) the threat of a Sabres equalizer just never seemed real. It ended 4-3 Oil.

I legitimately had a moment last night where I sat down to write this reaction and for the first time this season doing that I just couldn’t. My wife and I were having a good night and I just said no for my own mental health. With 16 games left in this season the Sabres need to go 14-2 to legitimately have a chance to make the playoffs. Pardon my French: What the Fuck? I had to talk myself out of buying a Skinner jersey that probably wouldn’t fit me at this time in December we were all so into this team. They were gold at that point, the best team we’d seen since before the Harbor Center was built! Now I would rather watch MLS Review videos and blog about a soccer team that isn’t even playing this calendar year than watch this team take on clubs they should be beating by multiple goals! WHAT THE FUCK! So, let’s turn away from the frustrating team stats for the far less frustrating individual stats.  Jeff Skinner sits at 36 goals 9 back of goal leader Alex Ovechkin. He probably doesn’t have the most goals by the end of this season but if he can get north of 40 and push near 50 in these last several games its going to do a lot for how we feel going into next season when he’s inevitable signs. He should get some MVP votes. Jack Eichel sits at 25 goals. He needs to reach 30. I say that because this season has been such an encouraging step forward for him that hitting the 30-goal mark needs to happen as a bookmark if nothing else. Casey Mittelstadt just hit 10 goals and sits at 21 points with his 11 assists. He’s probably not quite the Calder Trophy contender we thought he could be but that’s ok because he’ll be a great C2 real soon. His fellow rookie Rasmus Dahlin on the other hand should get the majority of the Calder Trophy votes in my bias opinion. Dahlin has more points than all but one rookie forward has. The lone guy ahead of him in that category, Elias Petterson, has cooled off a fair bit from the first part of the season in which he was destroying worlds with his goals. What Dahlin has done puts him in an elite company among rookie D-Men in this league already and that’s more special than anything Petterson has done. Rasmus Dahlin for Calder!

I hate pushing hard for individual awards because it feels so dirty against not making the playoffs. Then again, I still feel cheated that Artemi Panarin came in out of nowhere and stole it from Jack Eichel in 2016. Those however are the things I’ll cheer for to avoid the crushing gloom of what a missed opportunity season this has become. That and I eagerly await exit interviews to see how Jason Botterill and Phil Housley envision next season. There is an outside chance that changes Botts’ opinion of Housley prompting a coaching change, but the more likely and interesting outcome is the two of them hammering out a plan of Playoffs or bust. Their comments have grown a little bit conflicting in these late phases of the season in spite of that vote of confidence a couple weeks back. All this and the Amerks will go on a run. How many times have I mentioned that? Not enough, one more time: the Rochester Americans are going to probably win the division and make a deep playoff run. Like, comment and share this blog with your friends. The end of this Sabres season, for how disappointing the lack of a playoff berth will be, will be very interesting in terms of Front Office Palace intrigue. There will be a new Will for the playoffs in 2020 at that point and how this organization fixes to get there will be fun to watch. For now, we eagerly anticipate Jeff boy. Come on, Skin man, sign on the line!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Columbus is my favorite non-Sabres Eastern Conference team to watch going into these last 15 games. They pushed all the chips in on a run this post-season and its not even for sure they make the playoffs right now.

[tennessoui]

I just finished reading your Obikin goes to therapy au and my friend, wow! It was amazing! I’m so excited to see where you take it and clearly for those two doofuses to finally learn to communicate in at least a semi coherent manner.

I think it’s pretty obvious that you clearly should be in charge of writing Obikin in SW for real. I always read your stories than go back to watch the official stuff only to be violently reminded that it in fact Obikin is not endgame. Truly tragic.

💜💜💜

ahhh thank you!! I was thinking of the next chapter walking around yesterday and I think it’s gotta be like. Anakin comes home early for something or from something and he sees obi-wan in a state of undress that he finds absolutely devastating because he’s covered in Force Lighting scars from That Night and anakin doesn’t know how to cope with the emotions of seeing the proof that he almost died so clearly right there…..which of course means he accidentally reacts in a way obi-wan interprets as scornful

He starts bringing back creams and lotions and tonics and stuff to try to reduce the scarring. Obi-Wan doesn’t care about the scars because the pain was worth it to have Anakin by his side. Anakin cares a lot about the scars because it means he let his master get so close to dying. Obi-Wan decides Anakin must find the scars very ugly and off putting and defends himself by pointing out all the other people who have seen him in such undress don’t seem to care. Anakin decides that must mean obi-wan is not taking his health seriously because he’s sleeping with a bunch of people when he should be on bed rest until anakin gets his heart under control. Obi-Wan decides anakin just doesn’t trust him as a capable Jedi master, exhibit J.

Sheari decides she needs some heavy duty Tylenol

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 11 - CBJ

I was going to save Rob Ray using the term “Gloryhole” to describe Artemi Panarin’s second goal for the P.S. but I couldn’t help myself and that is just everything you need to know about Rob Ray the broadcaster in one hilarious live TV misspeak. Was he misspeaking? I feel like he used the word totally seriously just not fully realizing what it means… you know in sexual parlay. I actually missed that epic call, I had turned off the stream; not in rage, OT does make the heart race, but I was at my wife’s grandma’s house deep in the Finger Lakes. They aren’t the people to forego a game in the World Series for an October Sabres game. Rob Ray had a pretty classic gaff about that too but this isn’t a Rob Ray blog, this is New Look Sabres. I got to say, I don’t know if I would go through the effort to watch a stream on my phone on Saturday night for last year’s Sabres. This game is pretty indicative of the New Look Sabres I envisioned naming this blog. The Columbus Blue Jackets have proven themselves to be the frustration factory of hockey in the playoffs and if the Sabres ever want to get back to those they will need to beat some CBJs this season. The Buffalo Sabres did not look out of place against these guys and that says a lot.

Tage Thompson made himself useful and got an assist on Kyle Okposo’s first goal of the game crashing the net 98 seconds into the game. Two thoughts on that: Tage Thompson sat the last several games and several Smart Sabres folks pointed out the uselessness of not sending him down. He has taken his time to get comfortable in the system and didn’t look great but if he can start producing he ought to stay. I won’t be offended if he goes down at this point but hey, silver linings, right? Second Thought: Crashing that net. Look at most of the goals the Sabres have scored so far this season, thirty goals to be exact, and the majority will be crashing that net. If the Sabres score goals I’m not upset but is crashing the net the substitute for all our guys not shooting from the point? Just a thought, it’s more rhetorical, I had a lot of time to think about this game. Pierre-Luc Dubois shot from the point. After receiving a pass from Panarin he shot one high on Linus Ullmark. Five minutes later Jeff Skinner found a puck sent from McCabe and launched it two-hole. For the second time in two games a Sabres goal got challenged and stood. I could get used to this. The Sabres would enter the first intermission up 2-1 on the home team. Then the second period happened.

The Buffalo Sabres shut off. They got a single powerplay opportunity but it was the first period since maybe the San Jose game when we saw the Sabres just fall flat. Did they play their game? Perhaps they did: Jack Eichel screeched in on Joonas Korpisalo and got robbed. It wasn’t Sabres who scored this period. Artemi Panarin was a man on a mission scoring 94 seconds into the second in a goal that I will say was sick because I, like anyone with two eyes for hockey, want that guy on my team. He made Ristolainen look like he didn’t know ice is slippery. Those cannon blasts just kept coming and Cam Atkinson scored twice 32 seconds apart to put the Jackets up 4-2 through forty minutes of hockey. I am not even going to defend my boy Linus Ullmark in this period. The whole team sleep walked through this period. Then the New Look Sabres got back in the final frame. Jason Pominville scored on a behind-the-net setup from Jack Eichel to get the game within one two and a half minutes in. Two minutes later the Sabres highlight of this game happened. It took eleven games into his first full NHL season but Casey Mittelstadt scored one, a sausy one on the powerplay but it was his. That’s one monkey we all ought to be happy is off our favorite child’s back. The two teams traded chances for the rest of regulation; one shot by Columbus’ Anthony Duclair was taking a gentle stroll toward the line when Sam Reinhart fished it out. That may have been the play that secured the point in this game as this one went to a brief OT before Artemi Panarin out maneuvered three misaligned Sabres and won it. Sabres lost in OT 5-4 and altogether you probably love what you glean from the Blue and Gold team in this game.

I brought up crashing the net earlier because I think it’s a really interesting point of study in Phil Housley’s system. I am no expert, that’s kind of one of this blog’s calling cards, but does a net-crashing team not play fundamentally differently than a shoot first team? This league is overwhelmingly going in a speed-first direction and that’s made defenses slimmer and agile. Not many teams beat the shit out of you in front of the net anymore. It’s a good strategy for now, but I am just not certain how sustainable it is. It could also be a fair analysis of this team’s strengths by the coaching staff. I looked at those thirty goals Buffalo has scored, aw yeah its cool having that many goals through only eleven games, and very few lead you to believe any skater on this team prefers to shoot from the point. Jack Eichel’s overly-selfless pass-first mentality is well documented but I couldn’t find anyone really who jumps out as an honest-to-God shooter on this team. Kyle Okposo, who has looked like a new acquisition as of late thank God, stands out as something of a shooter but who else? Conor Sheary scores slappers from close up, minus well just call him Lumberjack Conor at this point, Jeff Skinner has scored more of his goals rather tight in there and I’ll leave Sam Reinhart alone for now. Jason Pominville even shoots from a place he can hear the goalies breathe. Maybe I had too much time to think about this game.

This team looks capable of comebacks and that is as refreshing as it gets. More than one observer across the bloggers, beat reporters and newsmen said following this game that this matchup last year… or really any season since Obama’s first term, would’ve turned into a rout. Buffalo comes back now and that’s what good teams do. I will gladly take a few OT heartbreaks that result in a point than fighting the urge to turn off the game before it’s over. Speaking of things I don’t want to turn off: how do you like this blog? Yea, I am talking to you with the shirt. It’s nice to see feedback come in certain non-word ways but it would be cool to read it in text too. Share this, like it, heart it, all of the above, and just spread it around. Know someone stressing about that OT loss to a team that is probably better? Send this to them. Hey you, this ain’t the old Sabres, these guys are allowed to lose tough games if they’re going to fight that hard in them. Well anyway, Tuesday night Calgary comes to town on the back of a faceoff against those cardiac kids up in Toronto so maybe we can put out a fire with one of our own. A home and home with Ottawa awaits us later in the week and a win streak here benefits not only how the rest of the season goes but also divisional bragging rights! Let’s go Buffalo!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. I really hated Artemi Panarin in 2016. I thought he stole Jack Eichel’s Calder Trophy but as I have matured as a hockey fan I realize it wasn’t so much an injustice as an armed heist.