#took me two non-consencutive days to write this but two months to approve it

[braceletofteeth]

is that the aroace flag in your icon? can you talk about why you chose it for moonjo? genuinely interested in your hc for him

Hello, anon!

Yes, that would be correct. This is the most popular flag used by aromantic asexuals. I’m happy that you recognized it, and I’m glad you asked about my headcanon, because so far I’ve talked about it here and there, but, until now, I’ve never delved much in the subject (to people other than myself).

The reason why I chose the aroace flag for Seo Moonjo is because I believe he may be part of both the asexual and aromantic spectrums, for not experiencing sexual and romantic attractions, or experiencing them in a way that comes as non-traditional in comparison to that of allosexual and alloromantic people.

To begin with, when it comes to sexual attraction, I feel inclined to say he feels it absentmindedly, faintly, or that he generally doesn’t experience it. He may be able to recognize when a body is aesthetically pleasing by common public criteria, or in his own criterion (if he has that), but he doesn’t necessarily feel an urge to do something about it (**sexually, I must specify, because Moonjo, being Moonjo, may still desire to work on a body in some artistic/intellectual capacity, in response to his compulsion to break and rebuild things (that’s not the topic in hand, though, so let’s save it for another day)).

That’s the default, I’d say, but only in general conditions. And I put it that way, with room for change, for exceptions, because I also believe that the possibility of Moonjo’s sexual attraction would rely on context. It would depend not on how physically attractive a person is (considered to be), but rather in specific circumstances / a specific connection.

Therefore, because the nature of this type attraction is conditional (to something beyond gender), I often refer to Moonjo’s sexuality as “graysexual” (sexual attraction depends on particular circumstances) or “demisexual” (sexual attraction only becomes a possibility after some type of connection is formed).

Despite these personal preferences, I have also seen another plausible term being brought up inside the fandom to refer to Moonjo’s sexuality, being it, for your information’s sake, encephalosexual, which is also a sexuality under the umbrella of the ace spectrum, and refers to individuals that need to feel a mental attraction towards someone, or bond intellectually with them, in order to later develop sexual attraction. This “intellectual bond” can be formed over shared wisdom, interests, aspirations, hobbies, etc., and even though not all of us are convinced Moonjo is part of the asexual spectrum, everyone was a witness to Moonjo and Jongwoo’s intellectual bond, so this idea has a strong theoretical foundation.

In all honesty, I don’t worry much about the label. The most important part I usually focus on is the fact that Moonjo experiences (or doesn't) sexual attraction different than most, which is enough to define oneself as asexual, even if a person is not completely sure about what “different” implies in their case.

Now, moving on, in regards to Moonjo’s aromanticism... I must first admit that I’ve only recently come to terms with it. Before, I was torn between thinking “no way someone can fall in love so easily, so fast, and be aromantic” and acknowledging that he had too many aromantic traits to be anything but aromantic.

One of the factors that helped me end the conflict was my reexamination of an older headcanon, about Moonjo already feeling romantically attracted to Jongwoo during their first meeting. Lately, in contradiction to that, I have been giving more credit to the idea of him gradually falling in love through the week, as Jongwoo’s true self distinguished him from Moonjo’s past projects.

It made me consider that, in alignment with his sexual attraction, perhaps his romantic attraction could also depend on specific circumstances / bonds.

And to that conclusion some people may reply “well, wasn’t that an obvious leap?”, to which I feel obligated to clarify here that, although for allosexual and alloromantic people their sexual and romantic attractions are almost always aligned with each other, with aroaces is a common thing to find discrepancies between one and the other. We should never assume that someone’s romantic attraction defines their sexual attraction, and vice versa.

Still speaking of Moonjo’s romantic attraction, now. It may be infrequent, but it isn’t feeble, when he does feel it. For some aromantics, especially grayromantics, it can come as a light pull, easily dismissed and forgettable, but that didn't seem to be Moonjo’s case.

Let’s keep in mind, however, that Moonjo, being aromantic, may have a hard time distinguishing (what he thinks that is) romantic attraction from something else, which could be another type of attraction (platonic, aesthetic), an obsession, or a different desire. His desire for (worthy) companionship, for example, could have led him to want a romantic relationship, despite never having felt romantic attraction in the past. It could have led him (as well as me) to imagine he had fallen in love, when in reality it could have been nothing more than “wishful thinking”.

It can be hard to tell the difference. When you're aromantic, the line between what is romantic and what is non-romantic may be unclear, which brings you to draw your own line, come up with your own definition of romantic love (that you may or may not be favorable to), or accept the definition of others, even if you don’t understand it, or if their definition makes you indifferent or repulsed by the idea of romance.

Moonjo appears to me like someone who came up with his very own definition of love, in order to explain what he felt—an unfamiliar feeling, difficult to place, because he had no precedent of his to compare it to. Perhaps he had felt something similar in the past, but not quite like it; never directed at someone. Only things—not people (and the things that were once people didn’t count; the craving and the fascination were of a different kind, a new kind).

... And that’s pretty much it for this headcanon? I hope it made sense to you, anon. I’m sorry for using many terms you may not be familiar with, I tried to explain them to the best of my capabilities. If you have any doubts, or any questions at all (about this subject or something else), feel free to sent me another ask at any time.

Bye <3