#tord on a string

[infinite-dragon-loop]

Holy shit

Colours are still stupidly saturated lol, the pale beige turned yellow and the fire looks weird

It still looks too empty to me, please tell me it doesn’t so I don’t add more

[wahhzo]

FINALLY... I OFFER UP TO THEE... THE SACRED HEADCANON POST!!

i do have a Lot more, but just wanted to compile a few together and draw em as a group. more of these silly guys to come!!

(also check out @minkshame and @holy-reference-in-a-username bc they greatly influenced my headcanons for these guys!! amazing artists and writers!!)

EDWARD GUINTO

• Half-Filipino, Half-British

• Asexual but other than that he dgaf (he/she/they)

• Freelance Animator and Comic Artist

• AuDHD 👍

• Stopped shaving in solidarity with Tom!!

• Stopped wearing earrings after a few years...

• Only one responsible for the house keys lmao

• Multiples of the same green hoodie (zip-up and closed)

THOMAS REEVES

• Half-British, Half-American

• Omni, transmasc (he/they)

• Part-time at records store, freelance composer

• Hair is styled like that bc it is damaged from years of dyeing and straightening 😔

• Stopped shaving bc of. Depression

• Broken nose bridge from a fight w/ Tord (pre-25 FT)

• Pierced his, Edd's, and Tord's ears when they were teens (Matt was too scared)

MATTHEW HARRISON V

• Half-British, Half-Scottish

• Pan, and gendefluid (he/she)

• Hair stylist and nail tech

• Used to straighten hair, doesn't anymore (whines to Tom about his hair)

• Braids his hoodie strings :- >

• Assigned cook and baker for everyone (they are his test subjects also.)

• AuDHD and OCD 👍

TORD LEONARDSEN

• Norwegian

• Asexual, biromantic, and transgender man (he/him)

• Mechanical engineer

• Autism and OCD 👍

• Pock marks bc he picked at his it constantly

• Pronounced upper lip!!

• Scars on hands from. Work, fighting, and tinkering 😭

• Sleeper build... Worked out a lot after he moved out

[c0la-queen]

All We Need (Is Each Other) | Eddsworld Roommates x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Comfort

Warnings: Minor violence, alcohol mentions, I know nothing about British life

Word Count: 1.3K

---

You sighed at the feeling of water soaking into the back of your collar. No matter how many times you towel dried your hair after a shower, it still got your shirts wet. The house was fairly quiet, being so empty. The hallway lights were off, and the living room was illuminated by only the TV. You passed through to the kitchen to grab a drink, but paused.

A figure sat on the end of the couch, curled up against the armrest. His hood was pulled over his head, the red material fighting the electronic blue light. His face was turned to the television, but one glance at the mindless infomercial could tell you that he wasn't paying attention. You walked over and leaned on the back of the couch. He didn't notice, which was very uncharacteristic.

"Tord?"

The mention on his name shot his focus to you. He looked startled.

"I didn't realize anyone else was home."

"Clearly. Are you okay?"

His lips pressed together into a flat line. The message was clear. He didn't want to talk about it. A moment of tense silence passed by. One minute, then two.

"Do you want to help me bake?"

"What?"

You pointed back at the bright lights of the kitchen.

"I've got some cupcake mix that I planned to use Sunday. But I think this is a better occasion."

Tord rolled his eyes, as if the mere idea of him baking was the most ridiculous thing ever. Still, he got to his feet and followed you.

---

Edd pinched the bridge of his nose, resisting the urge to slam his head into the steering wheel of his car. He had taken a short trip to the grocery store. Literally only twenty minutes to grab some drinks.

Somehow, in those twenty minutes, his friends had managed to start another argument. He watched his notifications exploded with the ring of Discord messages. Usually he was the first to mediate these fights, as was his responsibility as owner of the server. This time, he didn't even have the energy to see what it was about. Instead he sat in the near empty parking lot. He probably looked like a creep, staring at his phone with the car still off.

How were these the same people he met all those years ago? It seemed like the ones he had befriended at that convention were total strangers compared to the pixelated usernames flooding his screen. At the beginning, he loved having online friends. They were fresh faces, people he shared common interests with. That magic faded over time.

At the sight of a DM from one of the friends, he shut his phone off. He threw it in the passenger seat and fumbled for his keys. It was time for a break from them. He'd let them know when he got home.

---

The noise was getting to be too much. Tom gripped his glass tighter. Behind him, two girls that were his "friends" screamed at each other. Everyone else in their group gathered around, either trying to extinguish the flames or build them higher. He sat with a bored indifference. This exact argument had been played out countless times before. The same people, different people, more people, it all ended the same way; a fight, a night in jail, and an ended relationship.

Right on cue, the sound of a slap rang out. More shouting accompanied, more impacts after that. What was it this time? Oh yeah, Blonde Girl #1 slept with Brunette Girl #3's boyfriend. What they didn't know is that Brunette #2 slept with him, too.

He tipped back his glass, downing the rest of his drink. The clear liquid burned as it went down, similar to the string of the slap in the argument. Still silent, he handed his money to the bartender.

As he meandered to the door, he put his hands in his pants pockets. The bartender got involved now, his ringing voice muffled by the closing door. The chill of the night sobered up his senses. Despite the cold, he leaned against the car, awaiting Matt's arrival. After the second minor accident, he promised the others that he'd stop drinking and driving, no matter how little the amount.

He really needed to rethink who he went to the bar with.

---

Matt sighed woefully as he closed up the store. All the other clerks had went home, leaving him with the company of the display mannequins.

He had never felt so... unfulfilled before. It wasn't the job, he loved working the fashion scene. Even if it was in the mall, nothing made him happier than helping other people find their styles.

He traced his hands through the aisles. The fabric sliding through his fingers like water was home. He knew each material, every stitch and thread. What was wrong?

It hit him like a flash. It wasn't the work, it was the people. He loved his coworkers, sure. But they were so immaterial. There was no substance to their interactions. Only "he said, she said", "did you see that guy", and "I can't believe she'd wear that" made up their conversations. It was tiring. After so many years of those hollow friendships, when was too much? Not like he was going to say anything, though. No, he was too much of a people pleaser to do that.

Bag in hand, he waved goodbye to the odd person still closing up shop in the mall. Those interactions were fine. They were direct and simple. "I know you enough to recognize you so I'll give you a basic social courtesy, nothing more." Not small talk wearing a mask of intimacy.

It was fortunate that the bar Tom frequented was right next door to the mall. Carpooling was so much easier when one could just walk across the sidewalk that separated the two parking lots.

Tom eyed his ginger companion.

"You look like shit."

"'I could say the same to you."

Matt glanced over at the commotion by the door, watching two girls being dragged out by police. Tom tossed him they keys.

"You don't wanna know."

The two climbed into their seats and started the journey home. Matt smiled softly into the night.

"Looks like we both need new friends."

---

All three boys pulled into the driveway at the same time. Tom raised an eyebrow at Edd when they got out.

"Where were you?"

He held up the newly bought carton of milk as an answer.

Once inside, they were all hit with the sweet smell of fresh baking.

---

You turned to the kitchen doorway, laughing at the sight of Edd, Tom, and Matt crowded around. They must have smelled the cupcakes and come to investigate. Your assistant had his back turned, too busy applying frosting to see the new arrivals. Edd grinned while pulling out his phone.

"Tord, are you wearing an apron?"

He whipped around, but it was too late. The moment he faced the other three, Edd's camera flashed.

"Delete that right now."

"Not a chance!"

You knew Tord was about to charge, so you held up the pan in your hands. Pot holders served as a barrier between your skin and the metal.

"Hot pan here, please don't fight!"

With a grumble, Tord went back to his task. You could see the faint tint of red on his ears, but decidedly stayed silent.

Matt was practically starry eyed.

"What kind of cupcakes did you bake?"

"They're strawberry! I had a feeling today was a pastry day."

The chorus of nods confirmed the idea. Apparently, they had all had a rough day.

You dusted your hands off after setting the pan on the stove.

"Why don't you guys wash your hands and help Tord out?"

"Frosting these things is surprisingly calming."

[friveia-uwu]

i got my friend into eddsworld again and she drew tom and tord kissing too 😼

yahhhh!!!! she also put the harpoon strings 🥹🥹🥹

[dollarstore-kins]

❤️💚 Eddsworld Tord Care Kit For Our Mod Shade! 💚❤️

robot building kit ✧ lego space robot kit ✧ weighted revolver spinner ✧ edc fidget toy mini gun ✧ skorpion shot dart gun ✧ strawberry scented devil squish ✧ watchover string doll devil ✧ bacon jerky ✧ cozmo robot toy ✧ attachable devil horns ✧ skull chewlery ✧ robot chewlery ✧ devil bubble stuffed friend ✧ bubble machine gun ✧ fat tabby cat plush ✧ jumbo pusheen plush ✧ green weighted blanket ✧ weighted unicorn plush ✧ weighted red hoodie ✧ dammit doll ✧ what zit ✧ devil squishmallow ✧ realistic toy nerf gun

-mod calamity ｡：ﾟﾟ(´ ∀｀)･｡

[almighty-letu]

what are the reasons for paul and pat joining the red army? is it for personal reasons or a sense of loyalty?

In MLTS Paul joined because he was good friends with Tord for a long time, so when he came to him with a proposal to rule the world and have better pickings, Paul was all in. And I show Patrick's backstory in chapter 26 of My little test subject, but essentially Pat was depressed with his life until he met Paul, and he convinced Pat to leave and come join him in the Red Army. The rest is history.

In WYM Paul belongs to the inner red circle. He grew up alongside Tord, thick as thieves, and he was guaranteed a spot as his second-in-command. Pat was a nobody down on his luck, looking for a job until he was hired as part of the staff within the red circle. Paul fell instantly head over heels for him and started pulling the strings for Pat to earn better savings within the Red Army.

[dirtylittlemuffin]

Eddsworld redesigns!

(just for fun!)

I've pointed out every change I did under the cut! ( v v v )

From less changes to most

Tom.

- Round face

- Purple freckles, only after "Poweredd"

- Painted nails

- Shortest

Not pictured

- Hairy, he shaves

Tord.

- Angled face

- Acne

- Grey eyes

- No hoodie strings

- Second shortest

Not pictured

- Small fangs

- After "The end" his face is scarred + that eye is blind

Edd.

- Round-ish face

- Less skinny

- Slightly different hairstyle

- Some moles on his face

- Partial heterochromia, only after "Poweredd"

- Eyebags

- Second tallest

Not pictured

- Tiny scars on arms and legs (Cat owner)

Matt.

- Square face... of course

- Different skin tone, but pale (Vampire)

- Splotches on face and arms (Lobster monster)

- Bigger fangs than Tord's

- Small bite marks in lower lip after biting himself accidentally too many times ( still happens sometimes)

- Dark blue eyes

- Tallest

Not pictured

- He embroiders his name on all articles of clothing

- "I ❤️ M@" shirt is peeling off, he still wears it everyday (he does wash it)

- Wears a lot of sunscreen

[miraswebpage]

tw some blood: eddsworld doodle dump

work in progress I just never finished I mean DIGITAL DOODLES AHA!!!!!

headcannons, clarifications and the like below!

hc: fun dead kid doesn't really do anything in the red army actually unless they have a zombie outbreak, the hat is permanently stained from the initial fun dead incident, is not apart of the red army he's like 10 that's pauls old coat!!! paul gave it to him once he and patryck took him in during said initial incident, it was a bit cold out

hc: when mad red army members refer to tord by his actual name and tord barely makes money from the army (wonder how he gets his weapon supply huh.... haven't thought this out fully lol) so the soliders get like 2 cents, a ball of lint and a iou

hc: red army base has a basement that's been turned into a living room, all the lighting in there is hanging up by string and they have one tv with a DVD player teehee :3

I have like so much red army stuff in my head at the moment and even a little fan oc but bleeehhh scary???!!! (I say like I haven't publicly posted about a regretevator fan oc before) so like if I do post them please don't pelt me with rocks '' :3🙏

[thevoicestheywantthistoexist]

HEYA THERE, WANTED TO ASK ANY OF MY OCS ANYTHING?

NO? WELL TOO BAD, THIS BLOG IS FOR ASKING OC QUESTIONS!!! Lol sorry for the caps but uh if you want to see my main account, it’s @thestrangelyalwaysconfused

LIST OF OCS YOU CAN TALK TO AND WHAT FANDOMS THEY ARE FROM:

🔫🥪Tf2💉🚬:

The Jokester (Part of Red team but also has a Blu counterpart)

The Priest/Exorcist (Part of Red team but also has a Blu counterpart)

The Fishermen (Part of the Deep Anchor team)

The Octoling (Part of the Deep Anchor team)

The Biologist (Part of the Deep Anchor team)

The Marine (Part of the Deep Anchor team)

❤️💚Eddsworld💜💙:

Ryan Solis (Basically was Tord’s replacement after ‘The End’)

💀Spooky Month🎃:

Orion (The deaf library)

💐⭐️The Wonderful Magical Town🪐🌈:

Dingo Loo (The spider, bat, dog, deer hybrid)

Sala Raindrop (The sheep, possum, rabbit hybrid)

W3bs1t3/Wėbsītę (The computer’s teacher for AQPMESMSOP school)

Uh google doc book I wrote for these OCs:

Comet (The purple cat dragon who’s immortal)

Vor’oxen (The demon who possesses Comet)

Kelly (The human who is dating the demon that possesses Comet)

Allen (A raccoon who shares more of a fascination for books than trash)

Scrap (An alcoholic white tailed mongoose)

The Plague (The grim reaper in this world)

Just Ocs in general that don’t belong to any (real or fake) fandoms:

Waffle (A ridiculously plump Siamese cat that has cartoon like physics)

Y (A completely white kitten but is actually about 100 years old)

Chicken (Literally just a orange tabby with chicken costume)

TreeFrog (A cat like creature that’s made of acid and wears a special metal suit to avoid hurting his friends)

Træt (A tired dog with a string neck who’s stuck working at a supermarket)

Fisch (A excitable cat with a string neck who’s also stuck working at a supermarket)/created with the help of @thetravelingfrogwizard

PissMan (A tough but caring mentor)

Pam (A nervous but sweet apprentice)/created with the help of @thetravelingfrogwizard

Forsaken:

w00f (An alcoholic zombie-dog hybrid)

[burlveneer-music]

Christer Bothén Featuring Bolon Bata - Trancedance (40th anniversary edition)

Black Truffle is pleased to announce the first vinyl reissue of Trancedance, a wild slice of Swedish Afro-fusion from Christer Bothén, originally released in 1984. A major figure in Swedish jazz and improvised music since the 1970s, often heard on bass clarinet and tenor sax, Bothen studied doso n’koni (the large six-stringed ‘hunter’s harp’ of the Wasulu) in Mali in 1971-2 before turning to the guinbri (the three-stringed lute of the Gnawa/Gnauoua) in Marakesh later in the decade. In between, he performed extensively with Don Cherry during his Organic Music Society period and taught Cherry the doso n’koni. In the later 70s and 80s he worked with the most important figures in the distinctive Swedish jazz-rock-world fusion scene, joining Archimedes Badkar for their African-influenced Tre and participating in Bengt Berger’s legendary Bitter Funeral Beer Band. Many of the musicians who played on the Bitter Funeral Beer Band’s ECM LP (including Berger on drums, Anita Livstrand on voice and percussion and Tord Bengstsson on piano, violin and guitar) joined Bothén for one of the sessions that produced Trancedance, the first release under his own name, dedicated to his compositions. The other session introduced his seven-piece group Bolon Bata, heard on the second track of each side. A must for fans of the Swedish scene around groups like Arbete och Fritid and Archimedes Badkar, as well as any listener who has been seduced by Louis Moholo’s Spirits Rejoice!, The Brotherhood of Breath, or, more recently, the guinbri grooves of Natural Information Society, Trancedance is a lost classic ripe for rediscovery. 

[yoinkschief]

I have to talk about this because the Glass Animals How To Be A Human Being album is one of my special interests that album is so cool you guys don't understand please

The album features 11 songs, each one corresponding to one of the people on the album's cover(s), each one telling a story about that person

I bring this up as context as to why, even though everyone in this community makes memes about it, Pork Soda is THE TomTord song, and here's why:

Pork Soda corresponds to the old man with a paddy cap and glasses in the back of the album to the left of the basket ball player, and as such it's sung from his perspective

The song is about two lovers who fell in love with each other because of their spontaneous nature,

Somewhere in South End when you were fun You took my hand and you made me run Up past the prison to the seafront You climbed the cliff edge and took the plunge

However, this song is sung from the future(ish?), it's the old man yearning for the days when he and his lover were younger and full of sporadic energy, for when they would just pick up stuff suddenly and leave off on some crazy adventure,

Why can't we laugh now like we did then? How come I see you and ache instead? How come you only look pleased in bed? Let's climb the cliff edge and jump again

This is further pushed by the song's official music video where it shows a literal divide between the two lovers, living different lives as they live on completely separate floors of the house

The old man is portrayed as bitter and its suggested this song is him complaining about how his life isn't what it used to be to the listener, as he sits in his living room watching TV and doing pretty much nothing with himself, stuck in a constant loop of disappointment and resentment

Versus the wife who's seen with a dog that she's trying to get joy out of having, she tries to keep having a spontaneous life and do fun things to keep that spark in her going, seen with her dancing with the dog in the floor above the old man

I think this is great symbolism honestly, and it suggests the old man is to blame for this lack of spontaneousness in their love life anymore

Furthermore this is perfect for TomTord, more specifically, imo, enemies/friend to lovers to enemies WTFuture TomTord, although The End was also pretty good I think it would've worked better if it was pre Tord leaving and then Tord coming back, as that gives similar vibes yk?

It's perfect for them and I know this song is everyone's personal hell in this fandom and I understand why but you NEED to realize this is THEIR song

Along with songs like I Love You Like An Alcoholic and The Masochism Tango, the list goes on

I can make a list

I have two separate playlists for TomTord you don't understand how much I love songs

Extra information I know about this song that's cool to me:

Glass Animals got inspired to write this song after they met a girl (at a concert I believe?) with a tattoo on her arm that simply said "Pork Soda", and when they asked her why she got such a random string of words tattoo like that she said "cause I wanted to", thus inspiring them to make a song about spontaneousness

HOWEVER

I know the reason she got that tattoo and why she said that she is so funny to me

She got that tattoo because there's actually a second Pork Soda, a band album: Primus' Pork Soda album, which is, I'm sure, why she got the tattoo because that album probably meant a lot to her

Thus making her answer "because I wanted to" seem like the generic answer every person who has a tattoo answers with because everyone always asks "why did you get that tattoo" or belittle them for the tattoo "not having meaning", etc.

Just a silly addition I thought I'd add to this because I love this album so much please ask me about the other songs I know about all of them

[salad-006]

is it ok if i ask about the bendhog day and car crash cyborgs

NO!!!!!! i jest of course you can

Bendhog day is a combination of my bendee stick concept and the movie groundhog day. Kinda. Edd gets stuck in a timeloop, and it seems like nothing he does can get him out. However eventually he learns he's not alone in this loop, as a local homeless ginger is also stuck.

Both relieved to have someone else to talk to (who doesn't forget everything ever said every morning) they quickly befriend eachother, leading to Edd eventually revealing his identity as The Bendee stick to someone for the first time.

As time goes on they finally realize what's causing the issue: the vile dr decapi. He trapped bendee in a time loop, and inadvertently got Matt stuck as well. So its off to kick decapis ass . I sure hope they can get him to undo it bedore midnight strikes, otherwise they'll have to start all over

Car crash cyborgs is very similar to mattputer, in a way. During a car trip tom and Tord get into a fight. With tord at the wheel, he ends up crashing the car and killing both edd and matt. During the autopsy a devlish mr bingbong shows up, offering their familys access to a program he's working on: i resurrect your loved one as a robot duplicate for my own amusement with No Strings Attached. So they do. Edd and Matts souls are evily extracted and put into robot duplicates

For a long time they didn't remember much, infact they dont even remember dying so they arent really aware they're robots. Tom and tord are just left to grapple with these shadows of their friends living amongst them, unable to ever properly apologize for what they did. Oh and then matt gets decapitated by a coffee table and learns hes a robot and some other junk happens

[ew-headyhearts]

Body Headcanons

No one asked but here you go. I’m putting this one under the cut because it’s really long.

Characters: Edd, Tom, Matt, Tord, Eduardo, Jon, Mark

TW: I talk about booties and thighs

Edd: 6'1. Man's is chugging cola throughout the day it is no surprise he's heavy set. Not much for personal grooming. He maintains his cleanliness but the most hair he'd let grow out is a light stubble. Really dark leg and arm hair. Has cellulite and stretch marks but doesn't seem to mind. Actually, has a hand full of tattoos! Nothing crazy, they're mostly patchwork tattoos. Although, when Edd and the other three were all in high school they all gave themselves matching stick and poke tattoos. It’s a smiley face that looks uncannily like the ASDF Movie face. Granted none of them had experience doing tattoos so they made Edd do it for all of them. They all have it on the inside of the right wrist and they're all equally pretty wonky. Although Matt ended up doing Edd's making his look the absolute worst.

Matt: 6'4 A God damn string bean. Most definitely the palest of them all, like you could see the color of his veins pale. He is the definition of a pretty boy. Long legs and surprisingly strong calves. Also has the nicest butt of them all. Don't tell him though, it'll only inflate his ego. Will make sure everyone knows you think his butt is nice and the others will get annoyed. Still has acne scars from high school because he was a chronic skin picker. He also still had fangs from the time he was turned into a vampire. Is he still one? He won't tell~ Covered in freckles from head to toe. He shaves, though it’s mostly because he did it once and now he hates the feeling of the stubble growing back. Although he's not the greatest at it so he still gets nicks and cuts. After the experience with the stick and poke tattoo, he never got another. There's a part of him that regrets it, but he'd never think to cover it up or get rid of it. When he's feeling low, he likes to admire it and think about all of his memories with his buddies.

Tom: 5'8 and fucking smug about it. He is BIPOC. He’s a bit anemic so it makes his skin appear paler than he actually is. His height spawns constant arguments with Tord over who's taller. And yes, there was one point where Tom and Tord tried to see who could make their hair taller than the other. Definitely has a beer gut. Also did I mention the happy trail~ ugh- I'm so weak. No ass to speak of tho. Back is built like a board, sadly. If you ask him to sit in your lap it will hurt, he's got a boney ass. However, he does have really nice thighs. Can we talk about his body modifications now? Okay thank God because- ugh! First of all, he had his tongue split, and he loves showing it off. Used to have his tongue pierced but he hated the feeling after a while. All of his other piercings? He has gauges, two other piercings along the shell of his ear, and snake bites. Actually, has a couple of tattoos as well as the old stick and poke one. He’s always down to go get a new one.

Tord: 5'6 and a half, 5'8 and a half with the haircut. Doesn't go out that often so he's pasty. Nowhere near Matt levels of pale, but it's noticeable. Before leaving the crew, he was actually pretty heavy set. Mans looked like the textbook definition of a weeb. However, when he returned, he was surprisingly lean. You can almost see a hint of muscles too. He’s got a gap between his two front teeth. Quite a bit harrier than Tom. Does not trim whatsoever. Never has never will. Nasty stinky man. Probably has ridiculously noticeable pit hair. Likely to get really cringy tattoos like anime girls from hentai. But it's okay pookie I forgive you. After the events of "The End" Tord's arm was ripped to shreds. So, he actually gets another tattoo done professionally on his opposite wrist. He quite literally just got a replica of their matching tattoo. Why you ask? I’m sentimental, okay?

▀▄▀▄▀▄

Eduardo: 5'10 and a half. The most likely to lie about his height and say is 6ft. He’s kind of a manlet and will make it your problem. His parents are Puerto Rican and he’s dark-skinned. Chubby, though he surprisingly doesn't have as much sugar in his diet. Unsurprisingly, Eduardo is actually rather hairy. No one knows why he's so damn hairy and can't grow a proper mustache. Has a little bit of an ass, though he does have really strong thighs. Probably the type to be able to crush a watermelon with them. Not much into body modifications, although he does have his mother's name tattooed on his shoulder blade. He’s high key a total momma’s boy. Used to have his ears pierced but they closed up long after high school.

Jon: 5'3. Doesn't actually care about his height. He surprisingly pretty built, despite his massive sweet tooth. Him and Mark actually go to the gym together. Though he's more into training his legs. Has the highest stamina of anyone. Mans could be a whole track star if he wanted to. Another member of the cute butt squad. I'd almost call it a bubble butt. Also, this guy doesn't know how to dress. Mother fucker would either wear cargo shorts and a polo top or maybe one if those obnoxious Hawaiian t-shirts. Someone please step in and help the guy, I am begging.

Mark: 6'3 and a half. Another frequent gym goer. Can bench press around 230 pounds easily. Although, he prefers to hide how ripped he is with turtlenecks. His hair is so blonde that it can be a little difficult to notice how hairy he is. For that reason, he surprisingly doesn't do much in the grooming department. Except for his eyebrows, he gets them threaded. Had a phase where he was really into vampires in high school, so he has a neck tattoo of a vampire bite. That's why he always wears the damn turtleneck. He has a love hate relationship with that damn tattoo. Absolutely mocks Jon's fashion choice as he always dresses up. Except at the gym, that's the only time he lets himself dress down when leaving the house.

▀▄▀▄▀▄

[red-leader-langfeldt]

An open letter to the fat

Arrogant

Anti-charismatic national embarrassment

Known as Warmaster Tord Langfeldt

The man's irrational

He claims that I'm in the league

With the redeemed in some vast international intrigue?

Bitch, please!

You wouldn't know what I'm doin'

You're always goin' berserk

You have no guts,

You do not fight,

But in the name you're so proud,

Harpwing, you're the real coward!

The line is behind me

I crossed it again while the Warmaster lost it again

Your soldiers don't respect you,

they just fear your power.

You're just a psycho,

dancing to the strings of those in your tower.

Let me ask you a question.

Who sits at your desk when you're in Norway?

They were calling you a dick back in '16

And you haven't done anything new since

You're a nuisance with no sense

You're living in your own little fantasy

But this letter is gonna wake you up

like you've never been before

You're not a Warmaster

just a weak wanna-be

And workers all around me

Maybe they can confirm

I don't care if I'll go all out with this letter

I'm commencing this to war!

You psychotic mother-----!

Your alternate version,

Tord Henriksen

… riiight.

Being rapped at in my Tumblr askbox is certainly a new experience. I have access to the internet, you know. I know that you ripped that off of the Hamilton Mixtape. A quick Google search yields me the original.

You could not even be bothered to match up the rhymes or make sure the syllables lined up. Honestly, pathetic. Low-effort. Unimpressive.

If you are going to send hate, at least do it right.

[baconcolacan]

dumb, silly question that popped into my head, but like... if r!tom had a twin brother who looked exactly like him (or even one that looks like a more well-rounded version of him, if you've ever seen typo au stuff) how would r!tord react? especially if the twin ever attempts to help tom escape or something lmao-

crickety-crack. Okay! Time to answer some asks lmao. Regimen ask round!

Hmm, I don't know if Tord would react much to the twin, especially if he's basically a more "well-rounded" version of Tom. His object of obsession is Tom so who cares about his twin essentially being a better version of him?? He's not special, at least in Tord's eye(s).

And poor Tom, doesn't this mean he lived in the shadow of his twin?

There's an easy fix to that yknow.

In all probability sure, but I doubt it would be without any strings. The animal might even be genetically modified in order to keep an eye on him, or to stop/alert any escape attempts.

He could, but knowing who he'd have to ask for it why would he??

:]

NAUR NOT YOU CALLING THEM HANNIGRAM 2.0 SDLKFJDSK

You know, I haven't actually watched Hannibal, all I know from fandom osmosis is that don't the two of them actually like each other?? In the kind of, hey Im a serial killer and you're a serial killer lets serial kill together vibe?? Idk I didn't watch the show lmao.

Pls he'd throw a flashbang at him if he ever had the chance to, or if it's getting dark. "THINK FAST DICKNIPS"

"Wha-"

[almighty-letu]

I would love to see wym Tord to meet Tom's mom because I feel like that tom is a mini me of his mom and also Tom is definitely a Mama's boy

Well I don't think she's going to be too pleased to meet the guy forcing her son into marriage. Although, maybe Tord can pull some strings and make it seem like it's consensual. He'll send her an invite to the wedding, and then he will pull Tom aside like "We're going to talk to your mom - if I hear one negative peep out of you in there I'm killing our friends AND your mom" and then they will have an awkward family dinner as Tom has to pretend that, yes, he has been dating Tord for years and he is head over heels in love with him and now they are totally getting married as his mom just gushes over them.