#trying cause I've been desperately trying to get another sketch to work

[babygoatnathaniel]

Under The Mistletoe

Nathaniel P.O.V. It's Christmas in Paris all is cheery and bright- Also this is also based on a fanart I saw on Pinterest that I barely remember seeing and not about to go back and search for the account. Yea...

‘It's Christmas time! Yay! The school is hosting a formal Christmas party thing two days before Christmas. And currently it's four days til Christmas. So two days until the party. Not like I'm excited about socializing. I just wanna see Marc. He's been busy all Christmas break so far so I haven't got to see him since school ended. I miss him so much. 

I'm currently in my room doodling. I find myself sketching Marc under some mistletoe. I've drawn Marc a lot in my book. Like half the pages are just him. Why can't I get this boy out of my thoughts? And I can't even rant to Alix cause she is gone. Off superheroing. Ugh. Another person who fills up a good bit of my notebook is Roaster Bold. As a celebrity crush, yea I got a thing for him. Working beside him whenever we both show up for a villain fight is so awesome and he's cute- not as cute as Marc though.

Ugh. Why why why did I have to get a crush on Marc? My parents would be so disappointed if they found out about it. Which hopefully they never do. Cause I'm planning to get over him. I mean it's not like he likes me back right? But every time I see him I fall for him a little more. There's just something about that quiet shy boy that draws me in with his adorable sheepish smile every time. 

He is just so pretty, cute, adorable, amazing, talented, beautiful, did I say pretty? His eyes are literal emeralds, and they are so pretty. Ugh I wish I didn't have homophobic parents. Maybe then I'd have the courage to tell Marc how I feel? At this point it feels like it would be easier to tell Roaster Bold lol. But Ladybug wouldn't approve of superheroes dating each other. 

As I look at the doodle, I realize I had drawn Marc in a dress. I blush at the thought. He had told me he was gender fluid a while ago but not really shown it much other than wearing makeup. But the thought of Marc in a dress makes me blush and I would love to see him in one. I'm sure he would be cuter than this drawing of him in one. He would look amazing. I sigh dreamily, getting lost in my own little world, not watching what I was drawing. When I look down it made me blush so much. I ripped the page out and hid it in my backpack. I drew me standing in front of Marc under the mistletoe. 

I thought about throwing it away but I couldn't bring myself to. I have it bad for this boy. But I just wish he could love me back. I hate this feeling. The feeling of being in so desperately in love it hurts and having no clue if he likes me back or not and not being brave enough to say anything because of people like my parents. 

On the bright side tomorrow I go to Marinette's to pick up the suit she made me. She told everyone she would make their outfits cause she wanted to. She is so kind. I'm one of the last people and I'm fine with that. I mean she spent her whole break so far making us outfits we'll probably only wear once to a party. Honestly that's why I had a crush on her earlier in the school year. But I'm over her now. Marc is the only one on my mind. Ugh how did my thoughts circulate back to him?

Alr time skip to next day and Marc P.O.V. Yes this is rushed cause I don't know what to put and I wanna get it over with cause I didn't wanna write it in the first place. My brain told me to.

I was currently at Marinette's trying on the outfit she had made me. "Marc! You're here!" Marinette greeted. "Hi." I smile shyly. "Okay you said you wanted a dress right?" She asked me. I froze. Huh? I never said that. "W-what?" I stutter. She looks at me. "You didn't say a dress? Alya was the one who asked you and she has it written you wanted a dress. This is why I need to call and double check." She sighed. "Well, it's kinda too late now." She added. I just nod. "I-it's fine." I stutter. A dress? I have to wear a dress? Not that I mind it's just... what will people think? 

"Here, go try it on." She prompted, handing it to me. Honestly I don't mind wearing girls clothes since I'm gender fluid but- I'm scared of getting bullied. Last year I was at a different school, I had transferred to DuPont this year because I was bullied last year for being gender fluid and gay. I still haven't told anyone other than Marinette I'm gay and only a select few people know I'm gender fluid. Those people being Marinette and Nathaniel. I think Alya knows though. And I have a feeling she knows about me being gay and crushing on Nathaniel. I mean it's Alya.

I walk behind the changing screen she has set up and changed into the dress. It was nice not gonna lie. I walked out from behind the screen and stood sheepishly in front of Marinette who clapped. "You look so good Marc! Nathaniel will love it." She teased. I blushed. She is the only one who knows about my crush on Nathaniel as well. "S-stop it Marinette! You know he's straight!" I say nervously. "Sure he is." She rolled her eyes. 

"Whatever. I need to get home though so thanks for the dress Marinette and I brought 20 dollars, I hope that's enough." I told her handing her the money. "It's fine Marc, you don't need to pay me." She laughed a bit. "Nuh uh, I insist you take the money." I say throwing it on her dresser before I go back behind the screen to change back. "Thanks Marinette, see you tomorrow." I told her as I left with my dress, feeling scared and shy.

I get back home and my parents are waiting for me. "Marc your back." Mom smiled, hugging me. "Hey Mom." I mumbled a bit. "So where's the suit?" She asked. "Actually there seemed to be some miscommunication or just Alya up to something and she told Marinette I wanted a dress so I have a dress." I told them hesitantly. "Oh that's wonderful Marc! You know you can't keep it a secret forever." She half scolded me half praised me. "Yea yea." I mumble. Then I go to my room and put the dress neatly on a hanger in my closet and write some on the latest comic script. All I've been doing this week really. 

I didn't even wanna go to the fricken party in the first place but Marinette convinced me. Ugh this feels like a bad idea but there's not really any going back now that I have the dress right?

Okay switching back to Nathaniel next day. Fuck this one shot is rushed. We just gonna start as soon as he gets to the party which started at 5 pm

I got to the party in my black suit with a white tie. I looked around nervously for Marc, wondering where he is. Maybe he isn't here yet? Or maybe he decided not to come? Oh I hope not. I miss him so much it hurts. I wait by the door for him, not paying attention to what's above me. Finally I see him. But I didn't fully recognize him at first. But there was no denying it's him now.

He was nervously waking up the steps in a black dress that reached just below his knees, just flowy enough, with a white blazer on over it. I seriously think my heart stopped beating for a good minute when I saw him. He was literally drop dead gorgeous, I woulda been dead from the sight of him if I hadn't remembered to breath. He nervously walked up the steps looking down. He still had on his black fingerless gloves. And black boots. As he got to the top of the stairs, still not seeing me I assume, I grab his hand and pull him close to me, not caring what my parents will think. He gasps before looking up to see me. 

Yes he is taller than me but he was looking down so he had to tilt his head up to see me of course. Then he blushed and tried to shuffle back but I held him firmly close to me. "You look beautiful." I say breathlessly. He blushed more. "T-thanks." He thanked me quietly. Then we look up. And see. Mistletoe. He went beet red and I bet my face was pretty red as well but this is my chance. 

"We're standing under the mistletoe." I murmur, putting my hand on the side of his cheek. He nods. "Uh yea but I mean we don't have to..." He starts to ramble. I lay a finger on his mouth to quiet him. "You know the rule." I smile before kissing him. He froze. But I didn't break the contact. I need him to know how much I love him. After a few second he hesitantly kissed me back. Does this mean he feels the same?

Finally I pull away. "So-" I start breathlessly. He was taking deep breathes and looking at me in a way that explained everything. "Would you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?" I finally ask. He freezes again, his breath catching. Then he crashes his lips against mine. I'm overwhelmed with joy and kiss him back. This time the kiss lasts a good minute. I can't tell if people are watching or not and honestly, I don't care. 

We break the kiss. "Yes. I would love to." He breaths, wrapping his arms around my neck. I smile the biggest smile and wrapped my arms around his waist. I pick him up slightly off the ground and spin him around he giggles and clings to me. "I'm so happy you said yes." I whisper, kissing his ear. He giggles and blushes a deep shade of red.

Author P.O.V

Marinette and Alya were standing next to each other watching our gay comic couple. Marinette in a striking red dress that almost reached the floor with no sleeves and Alya in an orange one the reached her knees and long sleeved. They high-fived. "Our plan worked like a charm." Alya laughed. Marinette nodded, smiling. Then they went off and enjoyed the party.’

Another One Shot! To feed all you Hungry Marcaniel souls. Bye for now.

[an-obsessed-cactus]

Shoddy sketches series: Day 1

okay i just decided to start practicing drawing cause i wanna get better at it but i literally never do it(and i mean literally or as close as u can get while still having it done in ur lifetime). i always liked drawing but for some reason never did it in my spare time? so everything was always just for school and even that wasn't a lot.

this is the last thing i drew on paper. it was 3 years ago. for school💀 i know shame on me

then last last thing i drew were these three(appa -from atla- i followed a yt tutorial. i watched another tutorial on nose sketching and threw this together and it doesn't look half bad? and i just winged the eye. still quite proud of that). that was when i got a drawing tablet and then literally nothing for two years. and now this.

i just went on a random yt tutorial to do some sketches and I don't really like them that much and i know it's not near finished. but in the few days I've been using tumblr i got a weird confidence boost. and I'm trying to work on my perfectionism anyway so I'm gonna try to start a series and just post whatever i manage to draw. I'd like it to be a daily thing but I'm finishing high school rn and shit hit the fan. I actually started drawing to procrastinate on a project. oops doops😊 anyways. basically i wanna kill two birds with one stone and work on my perfectionism and drawing skills at once. (and i desperately need someone to hold me accountable even if it's just in my head)

[noliaert]

lowkey it's fine not being associated with those ppl actually

anyway!

MORE IWTV WIPS

I'll perhaps add more of my reflections onto this later, but for now...

Btw! 👇

First one from up top is now done and posted here.

Butch-femme paris loumand: I've posted the wip seperately as well! 👉 Link ! You get another teaser by following the link!

Oh I kinda go crazy about this one

2. Kitty Lou. Idk what to tell you.

Based on this painting "cat in sofa" by martin leman that someone posted on twitter lol 👇

THE WIP SERIES.

The next few technically became part of a wip series... which only 1 has been posted so far- that of louis in the night (the colour being: purple/liliac/indigo?). The purpose was originally to just... try lower my standards for drawing and just get started sketching. And it *did* help me start out a *couple* of wips actually! Finishing however... It's all done on square canvases as well. I wanted to use different bases to play more with colour as well, and it proceeded in me wanting to make a piece for all the colours in the pride flag (not the progress one though) 😭 and then cause I had *more* ideas or just more things I wanted to draw at one point- I moved onto the original pride flags colours to give me more.

Claudia (HOT PINK). A dedicated piece to delainey's claudia, depicting a younger very recently turned claudia, seeing in the mirror manifested a version of herself that she began longing for- and with a companion that sees her to follow (madeline's hand on her shoulder w a pin between two fingers to depict the process of adjusting the dress in the dressing mirror). I wanted to draw her in that cute pink lilac dress she shes in the dressing window and wears on her first night at tdv. A hopeful piece in the sense that, that which she desired desperately and despaired would not come to pass, is something which she actually found in the end. Even... if for only a short while.

2. Claudeline (RED): One of my wips, or my main claudeline wip anyway. It gets more elaborate than this, but yes! Originally based myself on the turning scene (basically got a sketch I can post there), but then I wanted to pick a different feeding-scenario for them and the red.

+ Something more of a teaser

3. Louis (ORANGE/YELLOW). There's one that was dedicated to louis' grief. A simple sketch. I wanted to do yellow, for what ended up being claudia's colour, if I pick it for orange then it would make it a *warm* yellow. Though I was having trouble with the sketch and what I wanted it to be. Like- it was really simple, mind. Actually, I had two in a sense, but I abandoned the other one.

4. Daniel (YELLOW). Old man as a vamp preying on whoever for a snack, got a few sketch ideas. But yea. If the previous one is a warm yellow, then this is a colder yellow, almost green-ish, but functionally a yellow.

5. DM/armandaniel/ARMAND BITING (GREEN): Like. it's technically DM fanart, BUT the purpose was to focus on armand's blown out eyes when he went in for the meal (need to see more of them 👀). The eclipsed orange eyes. It's practically almost done, I could technically just post it. But esp considering the extra effort I went to with the louis one, I want to fix it up. Like get the nails in, and make sure I get the angle of his head as I wanted. And cause it's close to finished- as far as I know, outside of a clean-up cause it's sketchy... I lowkey don't want to share it here. Teaser though I guess.

6. Lestat (BLUE/TEAL/TURQUOISE). Uh something lestat, idk what exactly. But there's this lmao. I wonder if I should... work off of that one idea I had from S1 🤔

7. Lesmand/armandstat (VIOLET). 🥂Since it ended up being two of them... But yea, a sorta intimate love-hate freaky relationship thing. Also important- cat behaviour!

Only in sketchiest sketch/idea phase

Tears. THIS ONE THIS ONE THIS ONE. I lowkey tried to start gathering references and getting familiar with better capturing their eyes & the wanted expression. So I have a few sketches, but yea, majorly- this is it. So far. But I really wanna do it. Each one of them looking in different directions (chosen with purpose), and depicting different emotional ways of depicting their tears that feels fitting to their character.

2. S2 (not pictured): a dedicated piece to S2, kinda akin to the time glass one for S1, though more to capture loumand's dynamic from paris to dubai. The *discomforting* loumand. The abusive loumand (that is from armand, don't get confused). Mixing the bench scene into the room with the stones (😐) and the magnolia tree. Kinda the whole... slow suffocation, the poisoned tip, the megaladon, the tiger, the wolf in sheep's clothing bleating from his lap. ect. ect. Trying to figure it out and to effectively show its effect on louis.

3. Riccardo & Armand (+ Marius sneak): I WANT TO DO A RICCARDO AND ARMAND PIECE! Tell me if anyone else has done this yet??? Like have someone done this exact thing??? Or is it only so clear in my head that I think they have???? Overall I haven't seen too many arts from tva/with riccardo, but I want to do them. Like I'm genuinely worried there's an exact piece like this already o_o

4. Claudia in that red dress! And leaning on the rails of one of those swirly stairs! WE NEED MORE ARTS WITH THAT RED DRESS FROM THE PROMO!

I've got other sketches as well but for WIPS? Idk, I think that's... marjoly it? 🤔🤔🤔 WAIT right. I actuallyy have more ideas for self indulgent loumand yuri wips. lmao.

WHEN I SAY IWTV'S BEEN LIKE A MUSE TO ME??? YOU GET IT??? CAUSE I HAVEN'T DRAWN THIS MUCH FOR *ANYTHING* ELSE. NOT EVEN THE LOKI/LOKE ITERATIONS (which I do have more unfinished wips/sketch ideas than posted)! (Wait actually VS a big contender, but it's still not to the same degree). IF ONLY I DIDN'T STRUGGLE WITH FINISHING THEM 😭😭😭😭

NOLIAERT'S IWTV WIPS

Okay so I thought to show off some of my WIPs for IWTV (amc), especially since I've not managed to finish off most of my WIPS regardless of how excited I have been for them :/ IWTV in 2022 was like a muse to me! I had so many wips! But little or nothing to show for it (cause extensive projects got overwhelming) 😔 I have however finished off 2 loumand pieces since S2 started off, 1 that had too been a wip from 2022 (I'll edit in a link once I post it, I've done so on twitter, but I feel the need to fix on some things... majorly is the issue one of the louis-es as it was a 3, initially 4,-in-1 piece :/ was rushing cause of the looming loumand divorce and doom, otherwise known as S2 "trial" finality, was approaching... and I was feeling 😅 about the reception of softer loumand kisses at the time. Like- timing!)!

1. Batnight: I worked out this timeglass composition to symbolise Louis' transformation into vampirism after he entered that church one fateful night. The trifecta of the vampfam, the time encapsulated by death and by blood, something which Louis seemingly has a different relationship to than most living vampires as the "tortured vampire". All focusing on the drop of blood, but with different expressions. Idk if i should do anything with the background of the bottom half of the timeglass though 🤔I'm meant to sketch out Louis' family and community from the wedding on the top half, as the sun sets (or rise...) behind the family home (sorry), a life now closed off to him. Vampires and bats- uncontested. The church? It is one from New Orleans S1 and I remember asking for the ref, but I am uncertain that it is the correct church when thinking back on it. Which is 🧍 Also as I started on this late 2022, I had only Bailey!Claudia to go off of, which I'll probably stick to for this one. Would be cool with both! But idk if I can extend that energy. I do need to figure out which of her hairstyles to do though 🤔 and I've been learning more about how to draw black hair so that's fun too

CLAUDIA WIPS! (Both from late 2022)

2: For the first one? Something about the tragedy of claudia, for S1, leaning towards the middle, Claudia the child, the eternal teenager, but a breaking into maturity and adulthood, on... the child witnessing the troubles of their parents, and of the child failed by their parents. Claudia standing in ashes alone (oh not the born from ashes turned to ashes 😭 at least she wasn't entirely alone by the end but had someone choose to face the same fate with her over her own living ♡), looked down upon from our pov to showcase her continued positions of disadvantage. Not the most thought out composition or anything, just wanted to draw Claudia, but these were the things I was thinking about while doing so. Also just really want to try make more dynamic compositions. Try that is.

3: The second one is me wanting to either do a 3-piece with smaller edits, or a 3(+?)-in-1, showing off a little vaguely different stages in Claudia's life back in S1. Or maybe a combined 1 if I figure it out. Combining the cutesy and the horror ✌️ Since these were majorly just sketches, I should be able to try draw Delainey!Claudia! And though S2 makes for SO MUCH inspo too, I'm scared to start on more new things. An irony. But I'd like to finish some more ideas.

4 & 5: Lestat wips! First one is really just a sketch trying to capture his face, buuut the second one? My attempts at a gorier more horrific looking corpsestat since I was feeling robbed by the S1 finale? Oh certainly 🙏 gotta figure out how best to pose Claudia and Louis though, to make sure I make the right impression I wanted 🤔 may have to flip him over too... idk just... extensive work, but I've been especially excited about this one as well as batnight (and the soon-to-be-posted loumands)!! Both from late 2022.

6: St. Paul! Ah the brothers! 🙏 the impact his family, and specifically Paul, has on Louis cannot be understated (S2E8 final dubai scene 😊). Kinda get so emotional when I've been rewatching S1E1 too ;-; another wip from 2022! I so rarely have seen pieces of Louis' family, or human family, which is a shame. I really wanted to do one for Louis and Paul though, and so I ended up with this wip meant to symbolically (far from vague though hah) capture some of that "confessional relationship" (can't escape the catholism) they had, but in a more playful youthful setting. Lowkey pointing towards an elevated sainthood of the future dead too. Paul being Louis' closest confidante, and someone who wanted to be a priest. Many thoughts on Paul really. Paul practicing I suppose, during their teenage years, Louis happily entertaining him and then glancing over his shoulder at- I am thinking Grace, their sister. I found the angle of Louis' head challenging though (been feeling intimately on my limitations), and as it is, I need some refs of Jacob to actually capture HIM too, and not just the angle.

Now unfinished iwtv wips from 2024...

Armand wips! But yea, I already had ideas, but I've felt prompted during S2 to draw more Armand due to the whole Assad Zaman fanbook thing that I thought could be nice to join in on. I've struggled to draw though, even if I have finished the 3-in-1 loumand thing and the spontaneous loumand cig-kiss piece, so I was really damn rushing 😅

7: It's possible I'm mixing ideas... different intents. So I'll have to review it again. I wanted one more bitey one, I was thinking of the "easeful death" scene of E5, but with a different angle. Was initially thinking active feeding I think, with half-lidded eyes or direct eye contact... to put emphasis on the darkening of his eyes in those moments. It's funky and I really wanted to draw it, though I guess this is getting too distant to really see it much. Something something generally about vampirism, a general victim, putting emphasis on the blood that they provide. First by extended blood dripping down the throat, now by the body being the blood fully visually. Something classy, yet... I want to reposition the arms and have the head burrowed further into the neck to actively feed as first intended. I also think I am certainly thinking about an intimate art piece for the whole gentlemanly death feel, so maybe i should try actually find the piece for reference. Also, it's not exactly in this sketch, but I too want to have him in that E2 or E3 coven suit, with vague coven/cult figures in the background. We never really see him feed (properly, of a human), but I've been thinking about the... parent providing food for his children thing (motorbike scene E2), or the "let me teach you" of E3... So a "lead by example" sort of thing, like pre of the picture of the mountain lion and her cub feeding of a carcass sort of thing XD leant too much into the whole typical romantic imagery as I kept going and finally got some of that posture right (and so I tought). But these are the ideas ✨️

8: Armand too got ahold of a switch btw <3 Armand and electronics huh, or... not necessarily only electronics and technology. There's a general almost manic curiosity, which is especially found in that one DM chapter that I kind of adore (smh to private island and blabla tho). A mood, though I'm not making ratshakes 🫢 Assad was talking about it too in an interview though, relating to that fascination, so I kinda wanted to make a piece leaning in on that. Had a few vague compositions, some with more of that almost cold intensity of E5, but here he's more just chilling (doesnt mean it doesnt get intense) ^^ I also wanted to display an evolution of technologies, at least within a certain timeframe, so physically stacking a room with different stuff? Like that works XD because I was rushing for the deadline, I fear I only got to send in the wip (one in an even earlier stage than this one)... which is a real shame 😔 I am excited to finish it though!

Anyway 👍

[leconcombrerit]

May I offer a Logan sketch in these trying times ?

[lovelywingsart]

Forgotten Memory

-- Karl Heisenberg X OC (AFAB, She/They) --

So I did a few sketches of Emelia meeting the other lords(and Dimitrescu daughters) a while ago, and I threw in a little something for the Moreau one- well, here's what's basically the small follow-up that I teased for that one.

**Small reminder that I have a small 'Masterlist' for these!**

---------

*Warning?: Lost/regained memory, mentions of wanted parenthood, angst kinda?

Summary: A small, interesting discovery is made during a first visit to Lord Moreaus domain, leading to a heartbreaking revelation.

Emelia was silent. They had returned from her first visit with Moreau, and she had to admit, the 'Fish Man' was kind and rather fun to be around despite Heisenbergs dislike of him. The metal man in question sat at a separate table behind her, tinkering with what she could assume was an experimental piece for the Soldats with his hair in it's normal 'bun' for physical work. But her focus wasn't on him. No, it was on the tape Moreau had excitedly let her borrow. It lay on the corner of the table she had been sitting at, and though she had previously been sketching plans, she was unable to concentrate. Simply finding it at the watermill sent a chill of recognition down her spine, and she couldn't get that familiarity out of her head. It was as if it triggered... something. But she didn't know what, exactly. The cover of the movie alone was scarily familiar, but... she didn't know.

And so, here she sat in silence, staring at the cover of the yellowed and somewhat grimy case, picking at her brain for any possible lead. Not even the occasional German swearing behind her shook her from the concentrated phase she was in as Heisenberg caused a tiny shock among the wires he was currently fiddling with. She had been staring at it since she picked it up... She barely looked away from it on the way back to the factory, nearly tripping over multiple things while Heisenberg practically led her around. But she couldn't quite put her finger on why it was so familiar.

She was suddenly jerked out of her trance as she heard a rather loud 'FUCK', and she turned to see Heisenberg looking at his hand.

"Are you alright...?" She asked quietly. He shook his head, sticking a bleeding finger in his mouth.

"Eh, I'm fine... damn thing shifted on me." He muttered. She was silent for a moment, seemingly spacing out until she spoke again.

"Would you like a bandage...?"

"Nah, I'll be fine." He shrugged, inspecting the digit once more before looking at the thing on his desk. "Wouldn't be the first time I've had the threat of losing a body part." His tone was almost thoughtful as he shifted his left leg. He then turned to face her. "What the hell is with YOU, anyway? You haven't stopped staring at that thing since we left the ugly freak. Usually you'd yell at me to wear gloves."

"Because you should..." Emelia rolled her eye slightly, "And he's a kind man, Karl. Don't be mean." she huffed, shaking her head as he muttered something under his breath. "No, I... I'm fine. Just thinking, is all."

"Ah. Well, don't hurt yourself." He smirked, turning back to his work as she glared at him.

"Twit..." she muttered, her eyes drifting back to the tape. She swore there was something about it...

She finally reached for it, holding it somewhat close to her face. She studied every detail. Every curve of the title letters. Every bit of the scenery. It wasn't until she turned it around to read the back that she paused, her brain picking out a few words to focus on. She simply closed her eye for a moment, only for something... a scene... to flash in her mind;

A woman stood in bright, almost entirely white scenery, holding a small child on her hip. Her other hand held that of an older child, and the childs other hand was held by a man. They seemed... happy. But she couldn't tell... The faces were simple blurs. She could only tell by the distant sound of laughter as the man and woman embraced, the two children huddling to them with giggles. The woman, she noticed, wore her hair longer with a ponytail to the side. No other features were clear. There was a sadness as the scene began to fade away, even as she desperately tried to clear the faces of the individuals.

Emelia jerked into reality once more with a gasp, making the man behind her jump with a startled swear.

"Fucking-" He started, shaking his hand again before looking at her with an irritated grunt. "What now???"

She stared at the tape in silence for a few seconds more before setting it down carefully and pushing herself to stand.

"N-Nothing, I..." she started, her voice wavering just slightly. Heisenbergs irritation all but disappeared as he watched her, switching to confusion.

"Emelia? What's wrong?" He asked, but she shook her head.

"I-I'm fine, I..." she tried, finally just running her hand through her hair and walking towards the door off to the side. "I'm just... tired. I'm going to sleep."

"... Oh." He replied, his confusion still evident. "Make sure you wake up, then."

She couldn't help but crack a small smile. It was always his way of saying 'sleep well'.

"I'll try."

~

Oddly enough, the bed wasn't too comfortable.

Emelia lay on her back, her arms behind her head while staring up at the dark ceiling. She had changed into her casual 'night' attire, thinking she could think better with the light off... But it only clouded her mind. The scene she saw kept playing in her mind. Who were these people? Why did she see them?? She let out a frustrated groan, moving her hands to rub her face. It had to have been a memory, right...? Was she one of the children? Was she remembering her family before this? Of course she had remembered small things as a child, merely second-long snippets of a foggy past that still wasn't entirely clear. COULD she have been one of the children?? While the thought should have calmed her, it only made her question more. If it WAS her original family, why couldn't she see the faces? She should have at least been able to remember her own... Not to mention the scenery itself was entirely different than she ever remembered... None of her memories were ever pure light. Something wasn't sitting right... But she thought back to the children she saw. They were happy... Laughing. They were all laughing a pleasant laugh, even the two adults, who she assumed were the parents. It was the joy of the scene that managed to calm her, and she couldn't help but chuckle from the silliness of it all.

She froze.

Wait.

She gave a confused hum, almost trying to repeat the chuckle. She then thought back to the memory, watching and rewatching the scene in her head, her muscles suddenly tense. Her attention was soon drawn to the woman. The woman's laugh seemed familiar as her face slowly became visible. Almost TOO familiar. It was almost like... Wait, that... Was...

No.

She bolted into an upright position once she saw the womans face clearly, her eye wide as the scene suddenly became uncomfortably clear.

The adult woman was HER.

But why?? HOW???

She threw the covers off her legs and pushed herself away from the bed, nearly ripping the door open with a burst of strength. She nearly ran down the steps, her breathing halted. How could that have been her? How could those memories be hers? She was older in that scene than she remembered to previously have been before all of this, and there was very clearly no sign of childbearing on her own body that she saw or knew of. Hell, she never thought she had BEEN with anyone like 'that' until recently, how could-

She startled Heisenberg once more as she pushed open the door to the workshop, making him jump as she briskly made her way back to the desk she had been sitting at. He spoke to her, but she couldn't hear him as she grabbed the tape and stared at it. Her... A family... Smiling, happy...

Another vision played in her mind, this one she had been familiar with. She was a child, tugging the apron of what she always assumed was her mother. 'Can we? Please?' Her small voice asked. She was a quiet child, that much she assumed from the memories she had unlocked before. She was already greeted with a kind smile as her faceless mother nodded. This memory she had seen, and it was always the same; she led the mother over, sitting on a fluffy couch in front of a large TV. A movie always played, but she couldn't see it... Until now. It was the same movie she currently physically held. But something changed... It was as if a new reel of film was cleaned in her mind, and she saw herself look up at the mother she cuddled to at the point where the memory would have cut off. 'I want a family like that!' She heard herself say excitedly. 'Just like that?' The mother asked, her voice warped somewhat. Emelia watched her child self nod. 'Yeah, a big one, just like that.'

It was then that the previous image of her older self played, vaguely hearing her child-self speak of her own family hopes over the laughter. And that's when it hit her with a wave of brokenhearted nausea. THAT'S why it was so bright... So happy... The vision wasn't a 'memory' at all. No...

It was a DREAM.

A dream...

No.

It was a goal.

A life goal her child-self had.

A goal stripped mostly once she joined the corporation before being taken Miranda years later. A goal that Miranda herself had more or less stripped ENTIRELY with no hope of settling down as soon as that goddamn parasite was embedded into her chest.

An important goal she had entirely forgotten about until now.

The realization hit her like a head-on impact from Sturm, and she dropped the tape. Her eye was wide, staring at seemingly nothing as her breaths came in quiet wheezes. She didn't even know she was crying until she felt a hand on her shoulder, jumping out of her thoughts with a gasp and whirling to meet the concerned face of Heisenberg. He seemed to jump back as well, startled to see face that pure sadness and anger. She could almost hear the memories of singing as she stared at him, her body trembling.

"Emmy??" He asked, taking his hand from her shoulder as if he himself had caused the tears that now streamed down her cheek. She was silent for a moment before her lip trembled.

"I... I remember..." she whimpered, taking deep breaths. Heisenberg paused before suddenly pressing on her shoulders.

"Sit." He said quickly, turning away to grab his own chair as she sat carefully. He brought the chair up in front of hers, sitting directly across from her. "What do you remember?" He asked, his voice genuine as he watched her. She forced herself to speak.

"Do... D-Do you remember... Uhm..." she paused with a shaky breath in attempts not to start sobbing immediately. She HAD to calm herself... "Do you remember when I... When I told you about that memory... The one when I was a child and the movie...?"

"I do... That was months ago." He replied, tilting his head. "What about it?"

"Th-There's... There's more..." she nodded to the tape on the table. "It... It was that... and... a-and..."

She finally broke down, covering her mouth as she let out a wavering sob. She nearly curled in on herself, only stopped by Heisenbergs hands on her shoulders. He then gently grabbed her face, leaning forward and making her look at him.

"Hey... Hey, look at me." He spoke. His jaw tightened as her eye met his, and he saw a painful recognition. "What the hell did that tape do?"

She seemed to hesitate for a moment before finally opening her mouth.

"... I... I wanted a family, Karl..." she whimpered.

He froze.

'Family'.

It was a word he grew to despise over the years. He hated it. He hated it with a burning, goddamn passion. The meaning of it was lost to time and trauma, and yet it sounded... innocent coming from her. It wasn't malicious like Miranda, or insulting like Alcina. It didn't even sound like a pathetic joke as it would have with Donna or Moreau. There was true pain behind the word as she spoke it, and he frowned as he watched her break down in front of him despite clearly attempting to hold it together. She always told him her memories... Hell, he encouraged her too. He knew what it was like, and he hated the thought of the same happening to her. But this time, he didn't know what to do. 'Family' was a sore subject around the factory. She let out a shaky sigh.

"I-I'm sorry, I..."

"No, no, just... Don't..." he started, only to sigh, himself. "Damn it-... Come here."

Emelia froze as Heisenberg pulled her into an awkward hug, though it wasn't enough to stop the tears. Instead, she reached up to hold his arms while her head threatened to fall onto his shoulder. He was silent for a moment, feeling as she almost curled to him, only stopped by the chairs. He couldn't quite think of anything to say. Nothing to help. Not even anything witty.

"... Keep talking." He said finally, feeling her breath halt.

"... What...?"

"I said, keep talking. Tell me about it... I guess." He managed. He felt her head shift while she managed to breath enough to sniffle.

"Is that a joke..." she asked quietly. He rolled his eyes.

"You really think I'd joke about that?"

"... Do you really want me to answer that..."

"Just keep talking, Emelia." He groaned. She was quiet before letting out a shaky breath and speaking.

"I-I... I remember..." she started, clearing her throat slightly and sniffling once more, "I remember begging her to watch it... I guess she never argued... Not that I could tell."

"Hm." He hummed quietly, setting his chin on top of her head. "How many times did you watch it, then?"

"I... I'm not sure... A lot, I suppose...?" Her voice was quiet as she sighed. "All I can hear is singing, I don't know..."

He raised a brow.

"Singing??"

"Shush..." she mumbled, earning a chuckle.

"So what does that have to do with wanting..." he paused. Hell, SAYING the word felt like poison to him... But she knew. She took a shaky breath before pushing away from him, wiping furiously at her eye as she sat back in her chair. She looked over at the tape for a moment with a frown.

"I told her I wanted a family..." she managed, reaching to pick up the tape and turning it over. "'A big one just like them', I told her... I guess I loved it enough to dream of it. Children, a husband... I suppose I could have had... SOMETHING like that with the corporation, but... NOW..." Her voice then gained a hint of bitterness as she leaned forward to put her head in her hand while holding the tape with the other. "It's impossible thanks to HER... And yet, I feel as if I still want it, now that I know..." The sadness quickly turned into a hint of anger as she lightly tossed the tape back on to the table. She was unable to stop the new flow of tears that started, glancing at her right arm. "Bloody hell... How damn stupid am I... A goddamn 'family' from THIS bloody mess..."

Heisenberg was quiet for once, watching as she wiped at her face furiously once more. What the hell was he even SUPPOSED to say to that?? That she was right?? No, he wasn't actively trying to upset her... Maybe he would joke normally, but even he knew that now wasn't the time. Oh, hell...

"Don't be hasty, Emmy. You've, ah... you've got a lot of life to live." He spoke awkwardly, clearing his throat slightly. "Or... um... something."

He jerked back as Emelia gave a disbelieving snort before choking back a sob as she looked to the movie again.

"'Or something'... Not like anyone would be willing to contribute while I'm like this..." she muttered, not seeing the look he gave with her voice still bitter as she frowned with a trembling lip. "That bitch stole every hope I had of being normal... I can barely remember everything still, and yet this is what I get when I do..." her voice lowered, but cracked with a mixture of pain and anger. It was a mix Heisenberg himself knew all too well. "I wanted a family and she tore that away for her own..."

"You could still-" he started, only to stop and snap his mouth shut as she looked up at him. What the fuck was he just about to say?

"I could still WHAT, Karl...??" Her voice was nearly pleading as she looked up at him. "Even if I tried, she'd still... She'd..."

She had to breathe. It felt as if her chest was collapsing in on itself as she doubled over with a sudden gasping sob. She was robbed... The life she once dreamed about wasn't at all possible. Even if she tried. Even if she somehow found a way, she knew it would be ripped from her again by the woman in selfish attempts to fix her own 'family'. And yet, she felt the distant longing she remembered feeling as a child... It wasn't until she felt arms around her once more that she started to look up, only to be nearly yanked off the chair as she was hugged with a sudden force and nearly brought into the man's lap.

"Don't say that." He growled quietly, making her freeze. "You still have a goddamn chance. Fuck Miranda and fuck her plans, she's not gonna do anything if you do." He paused for a moment. "She CAN'T do anything if you do, because I won't fucking let her."

Emelia froze in his arms, decently stunned. She said nothing, though couldn't help but curl into his shoulder as she fought off more tears. She knew he did it to make her feel better... And that's what seemed to hurt the most. He wasn't the most affectionate or reassuring person, especially with this. Sure, he had his odd ways of giving comfort, but it was never easy for either of them. But she managed to take a few breaths, returning the hug somewhat as he set his chin on her head. There was silence for a few moments before the reached out with a trembling hand and picked up the tape, looking at the cover with a light fondness despite her anger.

"... I think I'll visit Moreau tomorrow..." she said quietly, almost feeling his look of disgust.

"Why??"

"Unless you would like to watch it with me." She said simply, glancing up at him. He seemed to calm slightly, but still shook his head.

"You sure watching that is the best idea?" He asked, releasing his hold on her slowly. It was as if he didn't want to let go. She shrugged, wiping at her face.

"Potentially not, but... I don't know..." she sighed, pushing herself back on her own chair. She almost smiled as Heisenberg kept a gentle hold on her arms. "Maybe... maybe it would help... He said it was one of his favorites as well, I think it would be nice to have... willing company."

"I wouldn't be 'willing'?"

"Would you REALLY be, Karl?"

He raised a brow for a moment before giving a huff, but he didn't speak. She couldn't help but give a laughing snort before sniffling. It was then that another thought entered her mind, and she pondered over if for a few seconds, chewing the inside of her cheek.

"I think I'm going to get dressed." She said finally, slowly standing from the chair. She was met with a confused stare.

"I thought you said you were tired?" Heisenberg asked, watching as she walked to the door with the tape clutched in her hands. She paused to look back at him for a moment.

"Oh, I am. But now I'm more angry than I am tired." She said simply. "Have you got any disposable Soldats?"

She felt a little better as she watched a broad, toothy grin form on his face.

"I can figure something out." He said, suddenly standing and moving over to his desk to grab something. "Go ahead, I'll meet you down there."

Emelia only nodded, going through the door quickly. She knew it might not help entirely, but she felt the deep need to destroy despite not showing it on the surface. Whatever he was able to put together, she planned on imagining Miranda's face on every single creature she tore apart while mentally preparing herself for the trip the next day. WOULD watching the movie help? Would it assist with more memories? Or was it the worst idea she had ever had? She didn't know, and she couldn't keep her eye off the case as she retrieved her own clothing. She felt the pulses of her mutation even before she slipped on her own shirt, eventually letting the tendrils of muscle expand and grow along her skin. The bone spurs were the last to form, allowing her to flex and adjust her arm slightly. There was a moment of silence as the muscle hardened, feeling her heart beat against her chest. She took one last look at the tape before letting out a growling huff, letting the anger of the forgotten memories flow through her as she finally walked out the door and ran down to the depths of the factory walls.

[scribblehoneybee]

The Strangest That I've Seen

[ for anon - “just breathe, okay?” siren au ]

Henrik yawns, rubbing his eyes before glancing down at his empty notebook. The full moon gave him enough light to sketch but his inspiration was… lacking. One could only draw the same skyline so many times, after all.

When Chase had come back drenched, drunk, and rambling about sirens, they thought he had gone insane. But he still swore to it sober, so after a week he managed to drag Jackie along. The captain came back the same way.

Henrik still can’t help but be skeptical, though. He’s a man of science! If he’s going to believe in some mystical creature there had better be some proof first. So once both men had finally fallen asleep, Henrik took their ship’s small dinghy and set off to find out for himself.

But after three hours, he is admittedly starting to lose his patience.

The dinghy continues to rock gently on the calm waters, slowly lulling him to sleep. He shakes his head for what seems like the hundredth time, his notebook slipping off his lap. He has to stay awake. Even if there aren’t sirens in these waters, that definitely isn’t a smart idea. Maybe he should just go back to the ship. He blinks slowly, shifting to lean against his hand. He’ll… go back in a minute…

Just then, a ripple darts through the moon’s reflection and jostles the dinghy. Henrik jumps, grasping the edges to steady himself.

“It’s just a fish,” he mutters to himself, trying to calm his nerves, “Just some big, stupid fish.”

“Well that’s pretty rude,” a sweet voice teases from behind him.

Henrik whips around, eyes wide, only to see… nothing? He blinks hard, shaking his head to clear the haze of sleep from his mind, “I must be more exhausted than I thought.”

“Or crazy, judging by how much you talk to yourself,” the voice says again, giggling.

This time when Henrik turns, he sees him - a gorgeous man with long, silver hair trailing in the water behind him. His blue eyes seem to sparkle in the moonlight, and through his wide smirk Henrik catches sight of a few too-sharp teeth.

A siren.

“Hey there, sailor,” he teases again, voice seeming to reach a bit too deep into Henrik’s ears. “I’ve never seen you before, are you one of Jackie’s friends?”

Henrik continues to stare, completely in awe. “You’re… real? How is this even possible?”

The siren snorts, swimming up to prop his elbows on the side of the dinghy. His eyes dart to the abandoned notebook and he grins. “Stubborn, weird, and trying to work by moonlight? You must be that pretty doctor they always talk about.”

“I might be,” Henrik says, guard still up. Even if Chase and Jackie always got away safely, there was no guarantee that he would do the same. He sits down slowly and meets the sirens gaze. “What is your name?”

“You can call me Marvin, I doubt you could say my real one,” his eyes sparkle even brighter when he laughs, Henrik notes. He wonders if that’s by design or just a trick of the light. These creatures are supposedly built to charm and seduce, so it’s certainly not out of the question.

He doesn’t even realize he’s still staring.

“You still with me, darling?” Marvin teases, reaching up to wave a hand in front of Henrik’s face.

“Yes, sorry,” Henrik says, somewhat snapping out of his daze. “I’m just… tired. I was just about to head back to the ship before you showed up.”

“Is that really safe, if you’re falling asleep just talking to me?”

“It’s not like I have much of a choice,” Henrik admits, yawning again. He keeps finding himself being drawn back to the siren’s eyes, and hanging on to his every word. Something isn’t right. He feels far too safe around this creature. “Are you-”

“I can help, you know,” Marvin interrupts, grinning. It’s almost too easy for Henrik to ignore the teeth with those eyes staring straight at him. “The water is so nice and cool, it would wake you right up.”

Henrik catches himself just before he nods. “Do you think I’m stupid?”

The siren giggles, “Of course not. Your friends say you’re very smart. I just want to make sure you get back to them safely. After all, you’re just so tired. Sitting out here all alone, letting the waves rock you oh so gently, it would be so easy to let those heavy eyes slip shut. And we wouldn’t want that, now would we?”

“No, I…” Henrik mutters, eyes fluttering. He tries to shake his head again, blinking rapidly to clear his mind and vision. Everything but Marvin is a blur. “What are you-”

“Come here, closer, darling. I just want to help.”

Henrik’s body moves before he can work out a response, closing the short distance between himself and the siren. He’s even more beautiful up close.

“Now, that wasn’t too hard was it? And I bet you feel even better now.”

“No… Yes? I don’t…” It’s so hard to think with those eyes so close and that voice bouncing around his head. He’s just so tired.

“A quick swim has never hurt anyone, right? Your friends always come back just fine. Better, even. That’s why you came out here. You had to see for yourself.”

“I guess…” Henrik manages. His vision blurs and tilts, and his thoughts feel like molasses, sticky and slow.

“So let me help,” Marvin smiles, arms reaching up to wrap around Henrik’s neck and draw him closer, “Just a short little dip in the water, and then you can go right back to your pretty friends.”

“Just… for a minute, maybe,” Henrik mumbles. The weight of the siren’s arms drags him down, until he’s bent almost completely over the side of the dinghy.

“Mhm, a nice, long minute,” Marvin’s grin turns wicked, and in a flash Henrik is being pulled into the water. The siren kisses him deeply as they fall, making Henrik’s mind sputter and swirl.

When he finally manages to pull away, Henrik gasps in a stream of bubbles, the cold shock from the water enough to slightly rouse him from his daze. It’s not enough though, he realizes, and the siren easily draws him back in.

“Just breathe, okay?”

Henrik shakes his head furiously, sending another stream of bubbles to the surface. His lungs burn.

“You’ll be okay,” Marvin’s eyes glitter even brighter now, his voice echoing through the water. It’s... entrancing, and Henrik can already feel himself starting to give in again.

“Trust me.”

With that final urging Henrik gasps, taking in what should have been a lungful of water. His mind races - he’s going to drown, he’s going to die.

Instead, the burning stops.

He can… breathe?

Marvin’s gentle laugh bounces around him, disorienting him further. “See? I told you. Jackie was right, you are stubborn.”

Henrik’s eyes go wide, and the shocked expression only causes the siren to laugh harder. If he wasn’t so preoccupied with the fact that he’s not currently drowning his pride might’ve been hurt.

“The kiss, silly! Wouldn’t want you drowning on me. Not yet, anyway.” Marvin winks, his iridescent tail flicking out to wrap around Henrik’s legs. “Have a little more faith, darling.”

Fascinating, Henrik thinks, mind finally calming enough to let him process what’s happening. He can breathe - underwater! There has to be some kind of way to replicate this, maybe with blood. A bit morbid, sure, but he’s certainly done worse-

Marvin kisses him again, pulling Henrik away from his thoughts. He falls into it almost too easily, hands reaching up to tangle in the creature’s long silver locks. Like before, the sensation is overwhelming, sending his mind spiraling down into the depths. And he feels so… warm. All he wants to do is stay here in this beautiful creature’s arms. His thoughts have never been further from drowning.

No wonder so many have died like this. Henrik’s not even sure he would care.

The siren pulls away, a sly smile on his lips, “Well, darling, I know I said it would only take a moment, but you don’t seem quite alert enough to make the trip back just yet. Would you like to stay with me a little longer?”

Henrik nods eagerly, not even giving himself a chance to think.

“Adorable,” Marvin giggles, leaning in for another kiss. He reaches up and tugs the ribbon out of Henrik’s hair, letting it float freely in the water. “And beautiful, too. Jem’s going to love you.”

If Henrik was in his right mind, the mention of another name would have raised some questions, but his thoughts are too full of Marvin to think of anything else. He kisses him again, moaning against the siren’s lips. The desperation should be embarrassing, humiliating, but he can’t help himself from wanting more.

He’s never felt anything like this, and he never wants it to stop.

Henrik lets go of that last nagging voice in his head - the one telling him that this is dangerous, that these creatures are infamously untrustworthy - and allows the siren to pull him deeper. He’ll be fine, he promises himself. Marvin said he wouldn’t drown, and he hasn’t yet.

Besides, it’s just another minute.

[mentalillnessmouse]

Hi I was wondering if you have any ideas for regulating my sleep schedule. I've been very depressed and keep falling asleep in the daytime to avoid the suicidal thoughts, but then that means I can't fall asleep until 2 AM, and then I wake up again at 2 PM. I wouldn't really care but it's interfering with my ability to go out in the morning and do things I enjoy. I mostly need ideas on how to not fall asleep during the day. It's just that nothing matters enough to me to keep me awake.

Hello Anon!

I struggle a lot with sleep regulation as well, so I may have some tips for you that I have discovered along the way.

The best thing I have found that keeps me from sleeping in the day is going out somewhere early in the day. Doesn’t have to be with anyone, you could just go to the mall and get breakfast or lunch. This forces you to actually stay awake, since you can’t just willy nilly take a nap on the sidewalk or in a store. I find that eventually I forget about the tiredness, and can get through to the evening.

Stay on your feet as much as you can, so your brain doesn’t have time to think it’s a good time to sleep. Avoid reading too much, sitting at the computer, watching TV (aka sitting down), and if you like exercise, that will help too.When I was very desperate to fix my sleep, I would tend to stay up for the full night and next day to try to sleep at a regular hour, but that’s not healthy, and it never really helps. 

The best way to keep your nocturnal habits consistent is to follow Sleep Hygiene. To give you some ideas, I’ll list some of the tips.

Avoiding stimulants such as caffeine and nicotine close to bedtime. 

Exercise to promote good quality sleep.  As little as 10 minutes of aerobic exercise, such as walking or cycling, can drastically improve nighttime sleep quality.

Ensuring adequate exposure to natural light.

Establishing a regular relaxing bedtime routine.  A regular nightly routine helps the body recognize that it is bedtime.This could include taking warm shower or bath, reading a book, or light stretches.

Go to bed the same time every night.

It is important to subconsciously connect being in bed with sleeping. Don’t read in bed or talk on the phone. Remove clutter and items that remind you of work from your bedroom as well, such as your computer.

Try to stop using all electronics 1 full hour before bed. That includes your television, computers, phones, e-readers, and tablets. If you absolutely can’t tear yourself away from any of these items, at least turn on the red light filter.

If you can’t fall asleep after 20 minutes, leave your bedroom and do something relaxing somewhere else. You don’t want your mind to associate your bed with frustration.Do the same if you wake up during the night and can’t fall back asleep. In either scenario, don’t focus on the time, as it will just cause unhelpful anxiety. Read a book, sketch, or do another calming activity that can be done in low lighting. Do NOT turn on your electronics!

I know some of these tips are a bit daunting and don’t sound very fun, but even utilizing just a few of them can help tremendously. I hope you get some rest!

Having trouble falling asleep? Here are some tips from followers that might help.

“Sleep Better, Cope Better”: 6 Insomnia Causes & Cures

Sleep Hygiene

>Reyes

[melanin-kingshit]

No BS

Plot: Chris is frustrated and you help him relax

Warnings: Language, Smut

Word Count: 3,253 enjoy 😉

You were downstairs working on a new project that you were just given. You had to design a logo and business cards for an upcoming stylist. She was very specific on what she wanted which made it fairly easier for you, after all working with your boyfriend on some of his projects also taught you a lot of patience when it came to stuff like this.

While you sketched out the picture you had in mind, your thoughts were immediately interrupted when your boyfriend of 3 years, Chris, stormed into the house huffing and slamming the door behind him, causing you to jump and mess up on your drawing. "FUCK!" He shouted, frustrated. He swung his fist, knocking over a glass vase you had sitting on the small table next to the sofa. You jumped up and immediately went over to get a broom to sweep up the broken glass.

He didn't even acknowledge your presence. He went straight upstairs to the room you two shared. Your eyes followed his movements, a bit concerned. Once you finally got all the glass off the floor, you slowly made your way upstairs to find Chris in the room you share, his shoes were separated on the floor as if he kicked them off. He was pacing around the room, picking up small things, like markers and little notepads, throwing them as if he were a pitcher. "Chris?" You questioned standing in the doorway, leaning with your arms crossed across your chest. He continued pacing as your eyes followed him. You took a step further into the bedroom.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He huffed before stopping in his tracks. He stormed up to you, his face hovered over yours.

"Remember that complete bullshit ass incident just to paint me as the bad guy?" He asked.

"Which one?"

"Exactly" He walks to the bed and sits down on the middle of it. "Now we gotta go legal and sue for defamation cause some chick said I raped her in Paris"

"This is annoying. I know baby." you sat down next to him. "But you gotta stop throwing shit" he shook his head and lied back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. "Annoying? Baby it's beyond that. Try being in my shoes and every time you do something good, something bad outweighs that because people wanna see you fail. Ever since 2009, I've been painted as this guy I know I'm not. I did my time for that incident and it's like people would rather see me dead. I'm sick and tired of it Y/n."

You sighed and laid back next to him, listening to him rant. "Why don't you take a break and separate yourself from the media for awhile?" He turned his head and looks at you. "Don't you think I've tried that. It doesn't matter my name is always dragged into some bullshit, and then when I respond trying to defend myself. They either never believe me, or they don't even fucking care. What I say no longer means anything and they'll take anything and run with it"

You saw and heard in his voice his genuine frustration for the situation. Over the years it's just gotten worse, and you felt bad for him. He knew you tried your best but it never seemed like it was enough for you. You peered over at him and watched as he clenched his jaws, visibly angry. You sighed and nodded. “After 9 years of this, you're still strong and all this washes over you like nothing happened. Eventually this will too."

He ran his hand down his face and shook his head. "Nah, because this time I'm actually suing someone. I can deal with the 'oh he threw my phone' 'he kicked me out and yelled at me' but this?? Framing me for rape? You've got to be fucking kidding me. I have a daughter, and you have all these tabloids eating this shit up, like it's the truth, I haven't been asked anything about this situation." You ran your hand up his shirt and began feeling around on his chest. "Well.... I know what can cheer you up" you smiled and sat yourself onto his lap, staring down at him. He put one of his hands on your hips and used the other to guide your face down to his. Smiling, you gave him a peck on his lips and pulled away. "Promise me you won't let this get to you?" He bit his lip and shrugged, you sighed and grabbed his face, leaning in to kiss him. This time he took it deeper than the last kiss.

You had your hands resting on his chest, while he had both of his on your ass. The kiss deepened and his slid his tongue on your bottom lip begging for entrance, you accepted and ran your fingers along the trim of his shirt, desperately wanting him to take it off. He obliged and immediately went back to kissing you and began trailing kisses from your jaw down to your neck and often sucking a mark into your neck. Your hands roamed his chest as he found your sweet spot and nibbles into it. "Mmmmn" you whined and let out a small gasp when he bit down and left his mark. You could feel him smirk against your skin and move down to your collar and leave kisses there as well, while he began to move his hands causing there to be a bit of friction between you two, making him let out a small groan.

He was focused up until his phone began ringing, looking at the Caller ID he saw it was his lawyer, so he put his finger up to you and answered the it. You tried to continue to kiss him but he eventually pushed you off and went into another room to take the call else where. Pouting, you crossed your arms and sighed before jumping up and going in your drawer to change into a red lingerie set he bought for you a few months ago. You walked to the mirror and smiled, messing with your hair before jumping back in the bed. You watched the clock as five minutes pass and you hear Chris sigh and enter the room again, tossing his phone on the nightstand.

He looks up at you and smiles, his eyes scanning your body and admiring the view he had. You get up and walk towards him and grab his hand trying to get him back to the bed.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not feeling it anymore babe, he said it's all just bullshit and there's no point in me suing because she doesn't have anything that could be beneficial to me" you pushed him back into the door and ran your finger down his chest. "Look we can do this some other time okay? I'm just not feeling it right now" He looked down at you and moving your hand away, he knew you weren't one to give up. So you took it a step further and stepped close to him and brought your mouth to his neck and kissed it, slowly making your way down. As you kissed his neck you sucked a love bite right into his skin, he pushed you away once again and held his distance between you two.

"Babe, I said stop. I'm not in the mood anymore. Later okay? I promise" he held out his pinky to you and you shook your head and pushed his back against the wall and ran your fingers along the trim of his pants and you unbuttoned them, pulling them down to his ankles. Using both your hands you grabbed onto his briefs and tugged them down his legs. You bit down onto your lip, as you got down onto your knees and looked up at him. You grabbed his length with your hands and gave it a few slow, you watched as he bit his lip and ran his fingers through your hair.

You have him a seductive glare as your tongue barely licked the tip, teasing him further. Swirling your tongue around him, he began to get impatient "stop fucking playing y/n" you playfully rolled your eyes and gave in, slowly took him in as far as you could. He was well endowed. "....fuck baby" his hand tightened around your hair and you watched as he threw his head back against the wall. You bobbed your head, his hand helping you get to a pace that would send him over the edge. You loved hearing Chris moan, it was one of the best sounds you ever heard from him. You pulled away from him with a loud pop and you began jerking him off as his moans got louder. "fuck... fuck.. oh shit" It only encouraged you to keep going, he pushed himself away from the wall trying to get you to stop, but you pushed him back letting your hands trail up his abs and sucking harder. His mouth dropped open as you decided to take him all the way, and hold him there, after sitting there for a second you began to bob your head again but this time faster, while stroking the rest that wouldn't fit. You felt his legs jerk a bit, about to give in on him. Deciding enough was enough, you slowly pulled away from him as you let your teeth lightly graze the tip. You stood up and wiped your mouth, satisfied. "Bed... now" you smiled and walked over to the bed and laid down staring at him.

Hé climbed over you and your breathing hitched as he leaned down to kiss you. One of your hands went to caress his cheek, he slapped it away and shook his head. "Nah, you don't get to touch me, matter fact..." he reached over and opened your dresser and brought out the handcuffs you bought last weekend. He grabbed both your wrists and handcuffed them to the headboard. He laughed and smiled. "no tapping out when I get started, and no running" he leaned back in and immediately attached his lips to your neck and sucked harshly leaving you gasping. He smiled against your skin and let his fingers trail down to your chest. Attaching his fingers under the fabric, he ripped it off of your body and tossed it to the side of the bed. "Chriiiisss!!" You whined and pouted. "That was my favorite one!" He shrugged and lowered himself lower on the bed, you watched as his hands tucked themselves in the hem of your panties and pull them down your legs, you closed your legs to the sudden cold air you were exposed to. His maintained his eye contact as he spread your legs open and held his hands under the bend of your knees and pushed your legs up towards your chest. "Okay y/n you know the deal, don't try to push me away, cause it'll only get worse" you nodded frantically "okay daddy" he groaned at the name and dipped his head between your legs. He used his index and middle finger to spread your lower lips open, licking his lips and gliding his tongue across your sensitive bud.

He waisted no time attaching his lips to your clit, tugging it slightly causing you to moan. "Mmmmn... fuck baby" you tugged at your restraints and writhed beneath his touch. He smirked and one of his hands went up to your chest and let his thumb glide around your nipple. He traced his name out with his tongue against your warmth, and dipped his tongue into your entrance. His eyes closed and eyebrows knitted together at how wet you were for him. Pushing your legs further apart he began thrusting his tongue in and out of you, making you bite down on your lip trying to get your hands out of the cuffs. He locked eyes with you while he flattened his tongue and guided it up and down your slit. Arching your back off the bed, your moans and pants filled the room, Chris encouraging you to be as loud as you want.

He took two of his fingers and slid them inside you, all while sliding his tongue continued thrusting, he made his fingers search around for your g-spot. "Uuhhhhn, oh FUCK" you howled out when he found it. He did a 'come hither' motion with his finger and curled them right into that spot. You felt the heat rising in your stomach, signaling your orgasm was near. "Ooooooo, YES, fuuuuuuck Chris Im c-cumming" you warned thinking he'd stop but he only fingered you harder. You screamed out his name and squirted, desperately trying to close your legs. He latched onto your clit and sucked harshly making slurping noises as he cleaned you up. Your body felt weak after that, and you weren't sure if your could go on anymore. He lifted his head up, and you looked at him while his lips and chin glistened, he brought himself back up and kissed you while spreading your legs apart once again.

He sat up on his knees and bit down on his lip, slowly stroking himself. He moved in closer to you and tapped himself against your clit causing you to moan and try to squeeze your legs closed. He did it a few more time before he pulled your hips close and up to his and buried himself deep inside you. "Oh god...." you breathed out and tried to scoot yourself away from him a bit. "I haven’t even started and you already running from me" he chuckled and used both his hands to hold your hips in place, as he teased as he started a slow grind into you and watched as your eyes fluttered closed. He continued this for a few moments until he pulled away and slammed himself back into your wetness, pausing to untie your hands, and you grabbing onto his sides. He began fucking you like it would be his last time. Pulling your hips to his to meet with every thrust. The feeling of fullness and the perfect stretch you’d been waiting for made you scream and yell every time he slid back in. "Uuuuhnn! Fuck. YES! C-Chriiissss" you whined as tears began to blur your vision. The house was silent and the room was filled with skin to skin contact and his low grunts and your loud moans.

He moved one of his hands from your hips and brought it up to your neck, as he started to go harder and digging deeper as if he was wanting you to squirt. He started swiveling his hips into yours, sending you over the edge. Your screams started to become less hearty and tears started sliding down your face as he added a little more pressure around your throat. "Come on... I know you wanna squirt for daddy" he leaned down and said in your ear, triggering what he wanted. No sooner than he said that, your body shook and your murmured curses under your breath as you squirted on his lower abdomen. You brought your hands to his hips and tried to push him away, he grabbed your wrist. "Stop running from this dick y/n" he had sweat trickling down his face and chest, he leaned into give you a much needed kiss, you whimpered and wrapped your legs around his waist, switching positions so you were now on top.

Biting down on your lip, your slid yourself back down onto his length, moaning in the process. He put his hands behind his head and watched you intensely as your hands rested on his chest and you began to slowly move your hips up and down. You cursed under your breath, and dig your fingers into his chest. "Nah, ou better take all this shit" he said pushing your hips all the way down to his, and leaving them there. You squealed and adjusted yourself, and began to ride him. His mouth dropped open when you started bouncing on his lap and swirling your hips around. You mentally applauded yourself for having him speechless. Normally it would be hard for you to even get your way. He sat up and brought his hands to your ass and squeezed, as you paused to sit on your knees leaning down to kiss his neck. You were now lying on top of him and bit down into his neck, twerking on his dick. You didn’t take it easy on him, you made sure every time your hips came down with a loud smack. "Fuck! Fuck! Damn baby" he moaned out and grabbed your hips, starting to slam your hips harder down onto his dick. Your moans were muffled since your face was buried in his neck.

He flipped you both over "Face down, ass up baby girl" you turned on your stomach, and arched your back the way he liked it and he slipped right back into you. Teasing you once again and giving you slow but hard strokes. You sighed and moved your hips back into his to meet his pace. His eyes closed in pure bliss as he grabbed your hips and started going harder. "Mmmmn, fasted daddy" your voice was hoarse from all the screaming you had been doing, but he obeyed and fucked you faster. He pounded into you harder, causing you to become mute. Once again silence filled the room as all can be heard was how wet your were. You reached your hand between your legs and rubbed yourself, trying to get your orgasm to come now. His hips began to stutter, as his thrusts became sloppy, signaling his was about to cum. You took this to your advantage and grabbed his hands and you began to throw your ass back against him. He let out a throaty moan and his eyebrows knitted together, legs becoming weak as you squeezed yourself around him. His eyes rolled back, and he pulled out of you, turning you on your back and burying himself deep in your and giving you a few more strokes making you and him cum at the same time. He panted and collapsed onto you, the bed basically soaked in your juices.

You brought your face to his and the two of you began a make out frenzy, feeling overstimulated he tried to wiggle himself out of you, but you locked him in place, locking your legs around his waist. He whimpered and shook his head. "baby please let me go" his voice raspy, you accidentally clenched around him and he hissed, and let out a drawn out moan. Moving away from you, and lying on his back next to you. "I hope I can get you mad more... the aggressive side of you is what I love in bed" you laughed and draped your leg over his, he chuckled and shook his head and yawned. "I love you baby" his sleepy voice took over and his eyes were heavy. He kissed the top of your head before his breathing starting to level out. "Thank you" you smiled and congratulated yourself "you’re welcome... knocked ya ass right out"

"Mmmmhmm" he groaned and stretched, wrapping his arms around you and drifting off to sleep, no longer letting this case hover over him.