#trying to remember all the tags for poems that show up on my dash 😭

[thatone-churro]

she is my sun

she captures all my waking thoughts

entangles me in her heat

i’d follow her to my death

and i’d rather know nothing else

i’d chase her to the very end

and she knows

she knows what she does to me

she knows what i’d do for her

she stays just out of my reach every time

taunting me, taunting me

she blinds me with her light

she’s all i can see

i’m reaching blindly

grasping at any shred of her i can get

i want her to be mine

i know i can’t have her

but i want to

so i reach, i beg, i cry

all for her, all for her

***

i saw a moth the other day.

it was the middle of the afternoon

and it just fell from the sky.

i don’t know where it came from

only that it plummeted to the ground

and it fell without a sound

as it fell and as it hit.

i thought it had died

i wonder if it wish it had

but it didn’t

even as it lay belly-up in the sun’s radiance.

just when i believe it dead

it flutters

it spasms

it panics, i think.

in its blind flurry

it flies a few inches

but still fell on its back.

it tried again

it tried again

and it tried again

but fell all the same.

inch by inch

it scrambled to a bush

all the while

it couldn’t look away from the sky

and it flew

well, “flew”

to where the sun was titled overhead.

i wonder if it knew it should know better.

i wonder if all it knew

was the light it craved so badly

and if it was driven to delirium

being engulfed in it

and flung off the cliff of ecstasy in its wake.

i wonder if it knew at all

that the sun it chased so religiously

would kill it in the end.

i wonder if that’s what all our desperation looks like

that we all flutter to our demise

and others can only help but watch with pity.

i wondered all in retrospect.

i thought first,

watching it scramble:

“i could write a poem about that.”

i was the only one to find it so poetic.

***

i reach, i beg, i cry

all for her, all for her

i grasp at every inch of her i can reach

writhing on my back

belly-up beneath her radiance

entangled in her arms

she absolutely smothers me

sends me to delirium

feeling nothing but heat

heat and her

her heat

and mine

she taunts me, taunts me

captures my lips

and steals all my waking thoughts

she’s just within my reach

i reach my hands up

ever reaching

ever desperate to hold her

but she holds stronger

because i am all hers

she’s all i know

i can never forget her in the day

always feeling her in the back of my mind

and i crave her in the night

crawling for light and warmth

she is my sun

— sundrunk