#tryingtofindthepositive

[blanketsafe]

Can we just take a moment to appreciate #wowwednesdays lol! . Wash and dried all in the same day...even remembered to do pics! #winningwednesdays . #tryingtofindthepositive #humpday #equestrianlife #horses #dirtyhorseblanket #horseblanket (at Blanket Safe) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9C7DWKnyDg/?igshid=qy9zgru4a1ra

[mrscamper13]

Deleted sweatcoin and installed #winwalk just to see which one I liked more. So far, I like winwalk better because it counts steps more accurately and actually shows me how many miles and burned calories I've accumulated. This photo is from my work day yesterday. I am still shocked at how much exercise I get at my job. #cardio #workingout #workingoutatwork #allinadayswork #makingprogress #weightlossjourney #walking #countingsteps #winwalkrewards #worklife #wishmeluck #stepcounter #caloriesburned #mileswalked #gottamakethatmoney #goldencorral #goldencorralworker #hasafewrewards #tryingtofindthepositive #022819 (at Monroe, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/BueScNfgldO/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1uzaklhgj81zq

[hollyf74]

This week has been a very hard one. Memories of losing my own father and than tragedy striking our family still here. We lost my husband’s uncle to a tragic accident on Tuesday. We are still awaiting answers as to who and why. Our hearts are broken and we are all still in shock. He was the most amazing, kind, & loving man I have ever had the privilege of knowing. Than Thursday evening we got word his cousin on the other side had passed in her 40s way before her time. Yet another victim of heart problems. We are all left wondering who and how. Trying to hold the pieces together and continue living. It’s not an easy thing to do. My head is filled with so much sorrow and even guilt mixed with anger. Looking above for some answers and easing of the pain that is enveloping me. We truly don’t know when or how our time will come. Hold tight to those you love and don’t ever let a moment pass when you can spend time with them. #remeberance #death #family #grief #solace #love #sorrow #tryingtofindthepositive

[confusionandsimplicity]

Feeling kinda moody, sorry 💕 #moody #tryingtofindthepositive #lowenergy #nofilter #decentphoto #enjoythelittlethings

[drsatterfield13]

Back to me...

So I haven't blogged in almost two months. September was a busy month of trips, 65+hr work weeks and trying to figure out what is next on our journey. I started the month trying to feel better about myself and spend sometime for me. Got a haircut, took a week vacation at the beach and just tried to relax. The vacation at the beach was nice but I still thought about how things would have been different if our treatments had worked and I was pregnant. My wife's family came down the first part of the week to spend time with us. I think my wife really enjoyed having them there, but I feel like sometimes it gets harder and harder to be around them. They often talk about other people who are pregnant, having kids or had kids and then they give me the "oh I am so sorry for you" look. I can't take those looks. Our good friends came down at the end of the week to vacation with us and it is always good to hang out with them, but hard to see how their lives are progressing as a families, while I feel like we are still stuck in this phase of 'not knowing if our family will grow or not'. After getting back from the beach it was work, work, work. Work is becoming a sore subject for me. I like my job and the people I work with but the number of hours I have been working, while others slack off is really taking a toll on me. I get that everyone has responsibilities outside of work, but no matter how much work life balance a company tries to have the burden of work often falls on the childless. It hurts that I am working 60 hour weeks to get the work done while others are working 40 to spend time with their children. Yet here I am only dreaming about having children. We met with our RE to discuss IVF Round #2. The plan is still the same to do a biopsy, pick a new donor, adjust medications and perform ICSI fertilization. We were hoping to start next month, but due to my work travel schedule and the fact that the clinic lab closes for three weeks in December, our cycle would be tricky and rushed. I am very thankful that my RE and the nurses offered up multiple solutions, like getting some of my scans at another clinic while out of town, however we don't want to rush anything or add additional stress to an already stressful situation so we will postpone until the new year. If our IVF cycle would have worked, I would have been halfway through my pregnancy this past week. Luckily this week was also our five year wedding anniversary, so I tried to focus on my love for my wife and not our lost. I truly love my wife more today than I did when we met or said "I do." After a number of busy weeks, we got take out, ate it in bed and just vegged out together. It was exactly what we both needed. Lately, I struggle with every celebration because I want to be able to provide my wife with the best gift there is, a child. I started a 45 days of positivity effort this month and I am really trying hard to find something positive in each day. Tomorrow I am back on the health and workout kick, so here is to preparing for a better me. Hopefully, if I cut back on work and continue these trends, I will have a better mental outlook heading into our next round in the new year.

[mrscamper13]

Turned this app on while I was at work today and this is how many steps ive taken in a normal work day..you never really realize how much you walk til something tracks your steps for you lol #cardio #workingout #workingoutatwork #makingprogress #weightlossjourney #walking #countingsteps #sweatcoin #sweatcoinsrewards #worklife #gottamakethatmoney #goldencorral #goldencorralworker #hasafewrewards #tryingtofindthepositive (at Golden Corral) https://www.instagram.com/p/BuKRImyBvXz/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ailuyh1l1rv