#tsukishima kei fic

[oh-katsuki]

the notebook theory (tsukishima kei x reader)

masterlist | ao3

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Summary: Kei has a cynical and jaded outlook on love. When his friend Tadashi figures out that Kei has feelings for you, Kei isn’t sure how to react. After all, love is not something he does but rather, something that happens to him.

"There’s a notebook that Kei likes on his desk. No matter what he does, nothing is good enough to put a permanent mark into the thing. Even if he used a pencil, Kei feels like the evidence of the mark would still be there even after erasing it, a molecular change that can’t be seen with the naked eye. Kei calls it the notebook theory.

He thinks that might be what’s happening to him. A molecular change, imperceivable to someone not looking at him under a microscope. It’s like his DNA is being rewritten and stitched together with bright pink yarn. He feels himself steadily come apart and come together. It’s uncomfortable, like trying to dream when he has a fever. Kei is nearly certain that you’re the reason."

Content Warnings:  fem!reader (gender neutral pronouns), no real manga spoilers, slow burn, one-sided pining, angst, mentions of divorce and broken homes, toxic relationship (kei's parents), smut, fingering, oral (f!receiving and m!receiving), pinching, mentions of mark making, overstimulation (m!receiving), multiple orgasms, hair-pulling

Word Count: 24.8k

A/N: i know i spent forever working on this but it's finally done and while i have a lot of thoughts about it, idk rly what to say. anyway, here's my first attempt at a tsukishima long fic. also i already know that im not beating the tsukkiyama allegations, okay? i tried and failed to beat them okay i just think there is no way to put them in a situation without it being a little homoerotic bc.. they r them okay? anyway, i hope u enjoy and would love to hear ur thoughts <3

The morning comes without warning. Kei thinks he’s read that somewhere, though he’s just sure just where he saw it. He also thinks that whoever said that is right. Morning is always a harsh assault and never as gentle as people describe it to be. 

Kei’s room, the one he rents at university, faces toward the east. In the mornings, when the sun peeks over the horizon, it shines directly into his room and onto his bed before creeping across the light wood floors. His blinds, as useful as they are, always let some through the cracks and the light cuts the ground like butter to a knife. Kei doesn’t think it feels half as romantic as it sounds. 

The light works better than his alarm. No matter how set he is on sleeping in, he never fails to wake up as soon as those slats of light make their way across his bedspread. It wakes him like fever and he’s never quite as comfortable as he felt falling asleep. This morning is no different. 

He rises like he always has, running a hand over his blonde hair and dragging it down his face after sitting up. Then, he stands once in an attempt to gather his bearings before sitting right back down on the edge of the bed. He fights the lingering remnants of sleep, feeling the ray of sunlight beat down on his back. Then, he reaches towards his glasses on the nightstand and slides them up the bridge of his long nose before standing up again once and for all. 

Yamaguchi lives in the other room. His best friend since high school, perhaps his only real friend. They’d miraculously attended the same college and decided to room together, though his other friends from his youth aren’t too far. The arrangement managed to make it all the way until their fourth and final year. Living with each other has become par for the course. 

Tadashi wakes up later than Kei does on most days, except for Tuesdays and Thursdays. On those days, he has an 8 am and is usually in the kitchen before Kei has even stood up for the first time. Today is a Wednesday, so Yamaguchi is asleep in his room. The morning light doesn’t wake him the same way it does Kei. His room faces west, so it isn’t until the mid-afternoon, when Tadashi is chased from his room by the afternoon rays and heat, that he notices the sun on its blinding conquest across the sky. 

Kei’s room is clean and neat. There’s no clutter, no collection of items that don’t have a proper place. Everything is itemized and stored exactly where he intends for them to be. His floor is void of stray clothes, of socks he’d discarded the night before, his nightstand is bare and his desk is surprisingly empty save for one notebook sitting in its center. It’s a room that he could leave at any time, despite living here for nearly two years. If Kei chose to do so, he could pack his things and be gone in a day. 

Yamaguchi’s room is different. It’s lived in and well worn. There’s clutter on the floor, socks and pants he’d taken and tossed away to be dealt with later. Certain things don’t have a place and end up living on semi-crowded surfaces filled with things he likes to put down as quickly as he’d picked them up. Kei envies that way of living. A non-temporary way. He envies the rug in Yamaguchi’s room and the way he fills the space with himself. Kei thinks that even after they’re long gone, future tenants would still be able to feel Tadashi’s presence. 

To say that Kei is cynical would be accurate. He tends to lean more towards paranoia in his own strange way. He keeps things in order to quell the anxiety in it. Things stay where they are meant to be. As a result, he’s earned himself somewhat of an uptight attitude that makes Kei feel more awkward than relaxed even when he’s in his own spaces. Not that he minds it. 

Tadashi’s dish from last night is sitting next to the sink. Kei moves around it as he fixes a tea, making an effort not to drag his feet across the floor because he hates the scuffing sound. Every now and then, the glass of his mug will clink against the cheap kitchen tile and Kei will cringe in some paranoid worry that it will wake his friend. 

As he gathers his things to leave the quiet apartment, Kei wonders where his cynicism comes from. He’s sure he could pinpoint it if he tried. His parents divorce, his previous experiences with dating that have left him jaded, the holes that wore even in his most sturdy of sweaters. Inconsequential nothings that piled up until Kei had developed an undeniably cautious outlook on the world. To him, all of these things are the same. Like the morning, they’re intrusive and unsightly, but none is less important than the other. 

Kei does have things he likes. Art, for one. He likes paintings, sculptures, little pieces of history, and all of the things people make with their hands that he could never do. Kei is hopeless at crafts. His fingers are lithe and long, but they’re clumsy and hard to control. Despite his need for order, Kei has trouble controlling his urges. The subtle twitches of his fingers always mess up whatever it is he’s trying to craft. 

He likes writing best of all, specifically curatorial writing. It’s easy for him to pick which pieces belong together and how to organize them in a space, it suits his talent for compartmentalizing. Kei gets to tell a story that way, be it historical or artistic, sometimes both. The essays that his classmates find tedious, he finds relaxing despite the stress. For him, writing about art and history is a pleasure much like sipping tea that is the perfect temperature, unintrusive and natural. 

By the time he arrives at the library, it’s nearly 9 am. He works better here, in the quiet section at a table hidden by three tall shelves of books. It’s almost never occupied and there are hardly ever people seated in the immediate area. Kei doesn’t go out of his way to avoid others, but he finds that if he doesn’t approach people, they often won’t approach him. He prefers things this way, it makes the good and bad people easier to weed out. 

From this spot in the library, Kei can see where you usually set up shop for the day. You arrive after him by about 45 minutes and he convinces himself that it is always coincidental. 

Strictly speaking, you’re Tadashi’s friend, not his. You’ve known each other for a little under a year and have been by the apartment a few times, but yours and his conversations are limited entirely to pleasantries. How are you? What are you working on? We’re graduating soon, huh? Casual conversation that Kei can weasel his way out of at any time. Like his room, it’s impermanent. 

Kei has had the idea that nothing stays stuck in his head since middle school. The house he lived in when his parents were together, weekdays with his mother and weekends with his father, graduating seniors, the apartment he lives in now. To Kei, all of it is so temporary that he finds it difficult to get attached to it, not that he’s devoid of emotion. He quite loves the little things he has, but his grip on them is loose and half-hearted. Whatever leaves, Kei thinks is meant to leave, so he makes no effort to hold on. 

It’s probably unfair to think of you that way, but Kei can’t really help it. He can’t change what he is. Besides, it’s not as if he doesn’t have a reason to think so. He’s often approached by people for his looks, people who want to get close because they think he’s tall and handsome, people who collect others like trophies. He’s not heartless, so he’s been hurt more than a few times. Kei thinks he owes it to himself to be cautious, not that you’ve done anything to earn that type of subtle hostility. 

“Thought you might be here,” someone’s hand lands on his shoulder. 

“Shit,” he groans, “is it that late already?” 

Kei glances down at the watch on his wrist, reading the time as just past 10:45 am. He’s been here for an hour and 45 minutes and hasn’t gotten anything done. Tadashi pulls the chair next to him out and sits down, resting his chin on his hand. 

“Spacing out?” 

“A little,” Kei responds, tapping his pen against the table and turning back toward his book. 

“Got something due?” 

“Yeah, on Friday,” he exhales. “Haven’t started it yet though. You?” 

“Nah,” Tadashi smiles. “I’m just chasing you around.” 

“You’re like a girl with a crush.” 

Tadashi shrugs and lets out a good natured laugh. It’s a little too loud for this part of the library, but Kei lets it slide, smiling with his friend. 

Tadashi is the opposite of him, he thinks. He smiles often and says exactly what’s on his mind when it crosses it, even if it's a little mean. Tadashi used to be a follower, but in his final year of high school and university years, grew into someone befitting of his somewhat sunny and sarcastic personality. Thoughts and words come easily to him and he has no trouble vocalizing his joy or his disappointment. 

Yamaguchi has freckles covering the entirety of his body. Kei knows this because he’s seen far more of Tadashi than he thinks he should have. His skin is tawny and warm like him. Kei finds himself looking at the ones on his hands as Yamaguchi begins to write in his notebook. Kei can’t read his handwriting because it’s terrible and he doesn’t much feel like working on his own project, so he watches his friend’s hand mark the page. Then, his gaze slinks across the library to you. 

You’ve got your head down and look like you’re falling asleep despite it only being 11 in the morning. Your hand moves lazily across your computer keypad. By the time Kei realizes that you’ve spotted him staring, it’s too late to look away. His gaze was too intentional, so he smiles at you instead, nodding his head a little. 

You smile and wave, standing from where you sit and collecting your things. They fill up your arms because you don’t bother to put them in your bag, making your way clumsily across the room and setting your stuff down across from him. 

“Hi, Tsukishima,” you smile. “Hi, Tadashi.” 

You use his friend’s given name and Kei feels a pang of jealousy hit his chest. 

“How long have you been here? I didn’t see you,” you ask, settling into the seat across from Kei. 

“I just got here,” Tadashi smiles, looking up from his notes. “He’s been here for a while though.” 

Tadashi motions towards him. 

“Aw, why didn’t you say hi?” 

“You seemed busy,” Kei lies. 

You pout, filling your mouth with air. “Next time just come say hi, ‘kay?” 

“Sure,” Kei nods. 

Tadashi tosses him a sideways glance and Kei shrugs it off. He’s not interested in being teased this morning, though when is he ever. 

Kei doesn’t like the way you make him feel. When you’re around, he becomes prickly. It sets Kei on edge in a way that he hates. His world, previously so rigid and organized, quickly begins to feel cluttered and structureless. 

You make his heart pound. You make it hammer against his chest so hard that he can feel it in his ears and behind his eyes. It goes all the way down to his already-hard-to-control fingertips and the tops of his thighs. A previously pastel colored world goes vibrantly candy-colored like it’s been plunged in saturating liquid. He nevers knows how to hold himself, never knows how to act natural. What does it mean to act natural, anyway? How should he rest his hands on the desk? Would it be weird to lace them together? Does he look as stiff as he feels? It’s entirely possible that he is suffering a massive heart attack. 

You whisper across the table to Tadashi, leaning forward and laughing at something he’s written in his notebook. You can read his handwriting, something Kei is equally jealous about as he is angry. Kei just watches your conversation, unable to really listen into it on account of the stroke that he thinks he’s having. 

The three of you stay like this for a while, earning the occasional irritated whisper or dirty look from some of the more studious people in the library. Kei pretends to ignore them, remaining quiet throughout the duration of your study session with Tadashi. His quiet corner is invaded and painted bright pink with your presence and he doesn’t know whether to feel giddy or irrationally angry. Maybe it’s both. 

“Crap, is that the time?” Tadashi exclaims, hunching over himself when someone nearby shushes him. “I’ve got class across campus in 10 minutes.” 

He hurriedly collects his things. Tadashi does it so fast, in fact, that Kei hardly has time to beg him not to leave him alone with you. So he just watches as Tadashi throws his things clumsily into his bag and tosses it over his shoulder. 

“Bye, ___,” he says in a rushed whisper. “I’ll see you at home, Kei!” 

“Sure,” is all that Kei can muster. His voice cracks when he says it and he immediately avoids looking at you and stares at nothing in particular in his textbook. 

It’s quiet for a while. Kei pretends to busy himself by glancing between his textbook and his computer and you sit with your head bowed as you take notes on a lecture you’re listening to through the single earbud in your right ear. Then, you tap the end of your pen lightly on Kei’s notebook to get his attention. 

It’s only been about 10 minutes since Tadashi left, but the library now feels like an entirely different place. His heart pounds as he struggles to keep a straight face. 

When he looks up, you’re looking at him with a tilted head. Your expression is soft and unintrusive, friendly but a bit guarded. You smile softly at him. 

“You don’t like me very much, do you?” You ask gently. It doesn’t sound accusatory, but rather a casual statement tinged with friendliness. 

“Huh?” Blood rushes into his ears. 

“I just kinda get the impression that you’re uncomfortable around me,” you say. “Am I wrong?” 

“Uh, no- it’s not that I don’t like you.” 

He’s quick to correct you and he feels heat rush to his cheeks. 

“Then what?” you question lightly. There’s no ulterior motive behind your smile, Kei can tell, but your openness makes him uneasy. 

“I dunno,” he calms himself a little. “I don’t really know how to act around you, I guess.” 

You laugh, leaning back into your chair. “Is that all?” 

“Well, yeah…” he feels awkward and his palms are sweaty. He drops them below the table to wipe them. “You’re Tadashi’s friend and I’m pretty different from him so I just…” He trails off, shrugging his shoulders.

“I was worried you hated me,” you smile, chuckling to yourself. 

“That’s definitely not it,” he loosens a little, smiling lightly despite the thudding of his heart. It slows down steadily. 

“I’m your friend too, ya know?” 

“That so?” 

“Well, yeah,” you shrug and lean all the way back, crossing your arms. “I just kinda figured that we would be.” 

“Friends?” His tongue feels heavy in his mouth. His word placement is awkward. 

“Duh,” you laugh a little. “You know, you don’t have to speak formally with me.” 

“That’s just the way I am,” he huffs at being read. 

“Well, you can drop them with me. I don’t mind.” 

“Tall order,” he snorts. 

You tilt your head to the side. “Did you just make a joke?” 

“Uh, yeah…” 

“Funny,” you smile. “What are you studying?” 

“It’s not really studying…” he says, glancing down at the near empty document. “I’m supposed to be writing an essay I have due on Friday. Not going well.” 

He looks up at you through his lashes. You’re leaning forward across the table now, your chin angled upward as you try and peek at what’s on his screen. He turns it so that you can see better. 

“Baroque art?” You read aloud. “Oh yeah, Tadashi mentioned that you’re an art history major. Do you draw too?” 

“No,” he scoffs. “I’m hopeless at it, but I like art. It’s nice to look at.” 

“Huh, you look like you’d be good at drawing,” you say. 

“What’s that mean?” 

“I dunno, like a manga author or something,” you shrug. “You’ve got nice hands too. Like an artist.” 

“Manga?” He laughs a little, trying to play off the color he feels rushing to his face from the compliment. 

“Yeah, you look like the manga type.” 

“Is it the glasses?” He raises an eyebrow. 

“Maybe,” you laugh. 

Kei looks down at his hands. They’re big, like the rest of him, and his knuckles are thin. He’s hyper-aware of them now that you’ve complimented them. He studies them briefly, following the barely visible veins up the back of them, following the line of his fingers to his nails. They’re trimmed and somewhat well kept, save for the spots that he tends to bite at when he lays in bed at night. His hands look nothing like Tadashi’s. Tadashi’s fingers are thick and his nails are short on account of him biting them. Kei wonders if you prefer them to his. 

—

There’s a notebook that Kei likes on his desk. It’s only a bit bigger than his fist—a little thing, really—and it’s completely blank. Kei’s never written anything down in it, nothing has ever really been worth sullying the thing. It’s got brown fabric binding and a semi-thick cover. It’s malleable, but not so flimsy that he’d need a desk to write in it. 

Kei’s not too sure why he bought it in the first place. Maybe he liked the size of it, small enough to fit in his pocket, but not so small as to be ridiculous. It’s practical, much like he is. He’s considered turning it into a daily planner and putting to-do lists in it, but Kei isn’t much of a list guy, it’s Tadashi that likes making lists. Nothing has ever really felt like it suits the book. He’s considered journaling in it, but his life is one big routine and he doesn’t think there’s anything worth writing about. 

No matter what he does, nothing is good enough to put a permanent mark into the thing. Even if he used a pencil, Kei feels like the evidence of the mark would still be there even after erasing it, a molecular change that can’t be seen with the naked eye. Kei calls it the notebook theory. 

He thinks that might be what’s happening to him. A molecular change, imperceivable to someone not looking at him under a microscope. It’s like his DNA is being rewritten and stitched together with bright pink yarn. He feels himself steadily come apart and come together. It’s uncomfortable, like trying to dream when he has a fever. 

Kei is nearly certain that you’re the reason, not that he’s about to admit to anyone else that he likes you. Tadashi managed to weasel it out of him, though he didn’t really have to ask. In fact, it was less of an admittance to Kei than it was confirmation of his own feelings. If Tadashi can tell that he likes you, then he must. 

People seem to know things about Kei before he even knows them himself. At least, that’s how it seems. He’s always confronted with his own feelings by other people, not that they’re really ever wrong, but it seems everyone catches onto what he’s feeling rather quickly. He’s not too sure why that is, maybe he’s just obvious and hasn’t realized it. 

Come to think of it, when Tadashi had confronted Kei about his feelings for you, he’d been deeply annoying about it. Kei couldn’t even try to deny it because Tadashi had come out with his guns blazing, cornering him in the living room and throwing facts about you at him until his face was beet red with embarrassment. Then, with a serious frown on his face, he’d simply stated you like them and that was the end of it. Kei couldn’t even deny it. Even he knew that it read plainly in his expression. 

To be frank, it sucks being told in plain speech how he feels about someone. Whenever that happens, it makes Kei feel like he’ll never be able to keep another secret in his life. Sometimes, he wishes that he was able to make the decision to tell someone else on his own, but even Kei knows that that is a little beyond him. Kei can think the feelings just fine, but when it comes to speaking them aloud, he seems to have a padlock around his throat. 

Tadashi knows this about him and if it weren’t for him, Kei would have agonized far longer and far worse over certain situations of emotional turmoil. Most of the time, Tadashi gets it without needing to ask or say anything. It’s nice to have someone understand him in that way, even if it does mean he can’t keep a secret to save his life. 

Feelings lately make Kei a little angry. He’s always known that he’s had somewhat of a sour personality. Kei doesn’t need to be told that he’s smug to know that he is. He’s snarky and usually touchy, picky about the people that he hangs out with. It’s not really a secret that Kei is a hard person to get along with, but lately, he feels like it’s been worse. 

Maybe it’s because this is new territory to him. As conceited as it sounds, Kei has never liked someone first. It’s not because he doesn’t think anyone is worthy, but rather, because there are very few people he doesn’t find grating. Despite how he seems, Kei is incredibly sensitive about things, so naturally, it’s easier to get on his nerves. 

He’s dated before, though not for long, and all of his relationships have started the same way. Kei is approached by them, usually on the premise of looks, and he accepts. He’s not sure why he does. Sometimes it’s because he thinks they’re pretty, other times it’s because the romantic in him hopes that it will actually work out. It never has. 

Most of the time, Kei turns out to be different than they expected. He’s too touchy, too sarcastic, too awkward in his way of trying to love. To Kei, it has always felt like it’s ended just as he was beginning to develop real feelings. 

If he’s being honest, it’s given him a twisted inferiority complex. He’s worried that somehow, on a fundamental level, he’s not enough. Sometimes, it even goes so far as for Kei to think that he’s just generally disappointing. He tries not to be. Kei wants to be relied on. He wants to be someone his friends can go to when they need something sturdy. 

Despite his personality, Kei considers himself sturdy. Well, maybe stubborn is a better word. Kei considers himself stubborn enough to be made sturdy. He’s just a little awkward. That’s all. People seem to mistake that for being unreliable. It’s a peeve of Kei’s. 

Tadashi isn’t like that. Tadashi is bright and warm, reliable in every sense of the word. Kei actually looks up to him a lot, not that he’d ever say anything like that to his face. Sure, Tadashi’s not perfect, but at least people rely on him. At least Kei relies on him. 

Tadashi is more easy going than Kei is. He has an easier time going with the flow, which makes him more personable. Kei thinks that Tadashi is the closest thing that he’s had to a better half. In truth, without Tadashi around, Kei isn’t exactly sure what would have become of him. 

It’s pointless thinking about these sorts of things though. Kei realized a long time ago that thinking about being better won’t automatically make him better. This is just the way he is and Kei’s learned to accept that, whatever it means. Still, none of this changes the fact that he likes you. 

Kei could mull over thought after thought and he doesn’t think it would have any effect on the fact that he’s definitely developed a crush. He’s positive it will go away. In fact, he’s not even sure if it’s real. Maybe Kei is just jealous of you the same way he’s jealous of Tadashi. You’re bright and warm like he is. You and Tadashi are cut from the same cloth, so maybe that’s why the two of you get along so well. 

In all honesty, Kei wishes he could be a little more like Tadashi for that reason. Maybe if he were more like Tadashi, he’d have the courage to fully accept these new and uncertain feelings for what they are. But he doesn’t have that kind of courage, not right now at least. He doesn’t have the courage to solidify and lean into his feelings. Kei doesn’t want to risk what little comfort and security he has. If the relationship between you both is a blank page, Kei doesn’t have anything important to write. What if it ruins the paper? What if when he erases it, it changes the thing on a molecular level for the worse? The notebook theory. 

— 

Despite everything, Kei is rather self-aware. At least in his own head he is. Kei knows that when he pretends he doesn’t like you, he really ends up liking you more. He knows that he’s touchy, that he’s awkward, that he comes across more crass than he intends to. Kei is clumsy, not stupid. That doesn’t mean that he has to acknowledge it. 

You’ve been coming around more often since the conversation Kei had with you in the library. Maybe you’re more comfortable now knowing that he doesn’t hate you, so you’re happier to join Tadashi in their shared apartment. 

Kei feels bad about making you think that he hates you. Actually, he feels really bad about it. Like, astronomically bad about it. Embarrassingly enough, it actually keeps him up at night. So he goes out of his way to be a little nicer to you. The only other person he’s ever done that for is Tadashi. 

He greets you properly when you pass, despite the flare up of a medical condition he’s yet to fully diagnose brought on by your presence. He asks you questions about your studies, partially because he is genuinely curious and partially because he doesn’t want you to hate him. He thinks he’d die if you hated him. Kei’s being brave in his own way. It’s little, but he’s doing it. 

As a result, the two of you have grown a little closer. Kei has your phone number now, though he rarely has any reason to text you. Typing out a message to you makes him nervous. It makes him red in the face when you’re not even there. Somehow, having your phone number feels vulnerable to him, like he has access to you whenever he wants and you him. It means that if you wanted, you could make him nervous without even being nearby. That’s a lot for Kei to think about. 

Kei sees you in the library sometimes too, but he never takes the initiative to speak to you. You always come up to him first, clumsily gathering your things the way you did the day you and him sorted out your friendship and plopping them down in front of him. 

Sometimes, you both go several hours without saying anything to each other. Other times, you’ll chat away about something while leaning forward on the desk and Kei has to pretend that he’s not wildly nervous at your proximity. You’re so friendly. So genuinely warm that Kei can physically feel it when you talk. Despite his nerves, Kei would describe you as comfortable. You’re a comfortable person to him, as alarming as that is. 

His crush is out of hand. It scares him, not that he’s actively thought about that. What started as him noticing you has quickly ballooned into him being painfully aware of you at all times. He kind of feels bad about it. You don’t seem to think that he’s anything more than a friend and it makes Kei feel bad that he thinks of you as anything but that. He doesn’t want you to be just a crush to him. Kei wants you to be like Tadashi, someone he can rely on and be comfortable with. He almost feels like he’s reversed what’s been done to him his whole life, like somehow he’s only become your friend because he wants something more. 

Truth is though, he doesn’t want anything more. Kei wants to stay exactly where he is. He doesn’t want his crush to develop any further. He doesn’t want to confess, he wants to forget. Even now, sitting on a couch in the library, he wants to imagine he doesn’t feel anything at all for you.  

“Hey, are you okay?” You tilt your head at him. 

“Huh? Me?” He questions. “Yeah, I’m fine.” 

“You seem a little distracted,” you smile. “You’ve been staring at your computer for like… 10 minutes with this blank look on your face.” 

“You’ve been staring at me for 10 minutes?” He raises an eyebrow, trying to play off the embarrassment of being caught like that. 

“Not staring at you,” you huff, “but I definitely noticed.” 

“Ha, creep,” he tilts his head up a little, blowing air out of his nose. 

“You’re twisted, you know?” 

“Whatever,” he shrugs his shoulders and looks back at his computer screen. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees you shake your head and smile before looking down at your work. 

Tadashi has said the same exact thing to him before. In highschool, after Kei had made a joke about his teammate Hinata’s height, Tadashi had given him a look and snorted that he’s so twisted. He’s been hearing that sort of thing his entire life. 

“Hey, are you cool if I skip out of here early?” You ask a few moments later. 

“Oh, yeah sure. I don’t mind,” he nods, hiding his disappointment. “I didn’t realize that we had like… set times to be here.” 

You laugh lightly. “Well, we don’t, but we tend to come and go at the same time, no? I kinda look forward to it.” 

Kei envies your honesty. You’re so honest all of the time. You say what you feel when it pops into your head. He wishes he could be like that, maybe then he would be able to say that he does too. Instead, he just nods and swallows his heart back down. You smile at him again and then gather your things. 

“You’ll be home on Friday night, right?” 

“Uhm, yeah? Why?” 

“Tadashi invited me and a few friends over, did he tell you?” 

“I think he mentioned it.” Kei has actually been thinking about it for the last couple days. 

“Good, I’ll see you, right?” 

“Yeah, you will.” 

“Great, talk to you later then!” You smile and with that, you walk away. 

You sounded so certain in that statement. Talk to you later. You said it like it was inevitable. Thinking about that, Kei can’t help but watch you go. He even likes looking at the back of you, though he wishes he could see your face too. It feels worse to be walked away from than walked towards. 

Kei can’t tell anymore if what he feels is romance or jealousy. It’s probably both. It’s probably some mix of the two that he can’t quite sort out. He wishes it weren’t that way. Kei gets the feeling that he might be ruined. 

So he just watched you leave the library. Someone is waiting for you at the top of the stairwell. Kei can tell they’re a guy and despite the reluctance of his feelings, his stomach drops anyway when you nudge his shoulder with yours and loop your arm around his. That’s something you haven’t done to Kei before. Touch him. You touch this other person so easily. It makes Kei jealous. 

It makes sense that you might be seeing someone, that there might be someone else. After all, you’re you. Desirable. You look up at the stranger, leaning on him, smiling and flashing your teeth. Yeah, it makes sense. 

Turns out, it’s easier to pretend that he doesn’t feel anything when he thinks you’re interested in someone else. He likes to think it will save him the time of wondering. 

—

Kei has cleaned his room approximately four times today. Sure, it’s overboard, but every time he goes into it, he notices something else that needs to be spruced up. Like a pot with a leak, there is always something that he seemed to miss the last time he went through and cleaned up. 

It’s not like you’ll be in his room tonight anyway, but you will be in his apartment and that’s close enough to his room that he, for whatever reason, needs to make it so spotless that it looks like a set. Kei knows though, that even when you’re here, he’ll be wondering if there’s something else that he missed beyond the closed door and he’ll think about it incessantly. 

He’s been avoiding the thought of him liking you. Instead, Kei cleans and cleans and then cleans some more for good measure. It’s not like he has any sort of claim on you and he knows that it’s stupid to feel jealous over one interaction he witnessed by chance, but his mind is running away with him. Was that person your boyfriend? Has he been begrudgingly pining over a taken person all these months? Do you think that he’s creepy because of it? 

He doesn’t get to be upset over the idea that you’re seeing someone else. Why wouldn’t you be? Kei’s done absolutely nothing to indicate his interest in you (or lack thereof), besides maybe telling you that he doesn’t hate you. He has no right to feel the way he does, but he spirals anyway. His insecurities, the ones that gnaw at him in the hours before he falls asleep, play in a constant loop in his head. His unreliability, his unpleasant personality, his cynicism, the baggage he carries with him like a badge. All of it piles up one by one. 

Kei feels like a kid again, losing himself over such a simple interaction, over something so miniscule that it might not even be considered anything at all. There are a plethora of reasons for his feeling like this and Kei thinks he could draw one of his issues out of a hat and it would still somehow address the situation at hand, but all he really feels is hurt and he doesn’t want to explain it away. Kei finds that liking someone hurts. It hurts more than it feels good and the uncertainty chews at his patience and leaves it razor thin. It’s not your fault, nor is it the person Kei’s convinced himself you’re seeing, but he needs someone to blame and it can’t be himself. 

The idea of you relying on someone else makes him nauseous. He’d never considered the thought before, that you find him as unreliable as others do. Kei wants to be relied on, most of all by you, and that fact makes him upset. He’s afraid of what you think of him and without the confidence to accept his feelings, it threatens to crush him. 

Kei’s got this itch over it, so he tries to distract himself. Cleaning his space to prepare for you helps him delude himself that he doesn’t quite like you at all. It’s not your fault. He’s just confused, like his parents were when they married each other. It hurts. Like they were when they had him to try and fix their marriage, which had started to fall apart even when Akiteru was an only child. He’s confused. He’s jealous over your ability to live the way Kei has always wanted to. That’s all this is. Nothing more and nothing less. He feels like he’s being split in two, stretched thin between two modes of thinking. 

Kei glances over his shoulder and into his room one last time. He’s forgotten to wipe the mirror. He goes back in and the cycle starts itself over. 

—

He’s not proud of his behavior. Kei thinks only a seriously huge asshole would be proud of the kind of behavior he displayed tonight. He regrets it immensely, though some part of him is begrudgingly holding onto the idea that maybe he was right to be so short tempered. Of course, that’s a lunatic’s idea. 

Tadashi is standing by the apartment door, mumbling something to you behind it. Over Tadashi’s shoulder, he sees you shake your head and in response, Tadashi gives a small bow before shutting the door to the shared apartment. Then, Tadashi turns and walks towards him. 

Kei doesn’t want to look at him, but Tadashi, for some reason, commands his gaze. 

“Is there a reason you were such a huge cunt tonight?” Tadashi sort of spits the words. They land at Kei’s feet and roll around before settling. 

“What are you talking about? I was normal,” he answers, though the statement sounds like a lie the moment it leaves his lips. 

“Bullshit,” Tadashi says. “You were being an asshole the second they walked through the door and you’ve been one to me all day.” 

Kei scoffs, his cheeks burning, “I’ve just been tired, dude. Besides, what does it matter? You’re closer to all of them than I am.”

“What? You’re tired so you just get to be a huge asshole?” 

“No,” Kei responds. 

“So then what was that?” 

Kei doesn’t really know. He doesn’t know what prompted him to act so cold or make such snide comments. It’s true, he’d been in a bad mood all day and he knows that Tadashi has borne the brunt of his misplaced emotions, but even Kei is confused as to why he’d acted the way he did. Still though, there is a part of him that knows that it was connected to his spiraling and what he saw in the library. He’d sound insane if he said it out loud, like somehow his growth was stunted in the third grade, but Kei is sure it had something to do with liking you and the hurt that comes with it. 

It’s not as if he’d been outwardly mean, but he had been cold. There are parts of himself that Kei doesn’t want you to see, sections of his personality that he ropes off from you because despite not liking you, he wants you to see the best in him. Tonight, he managed to somehow show off the worst. 

It started with the noise when everyone had arrived. You, Hinata, Kageyama, Tanaka, Kiyoko, and Yachi had all piled into the apartment in one large group. Kei’d been sitting on the couch and the sound of the door startled him right off the bat. He assumed that by the time they all had rounded the corner into the living room, his face was already sour, because everyone had greeted him cautiously. 

It’s no surprise that everyone was so loud. Kei has known this particular group for many years and they, having all gone to school or work nearby, pile into his apartment often for events like these. You were really the only new factor in all of it and while Kei is known as a touchy person, he certainly was more touchy than usual tonight. 

You’d been trying to talk to him all evening and Kei, in a desperate attempt to avoid whatever lingering feelings he had for you, had been shutting you down at every turn. Thinking back on it, he’s endlessly embarrassed. You didn’t deserve that. You’d been nothing but kind to him and there Kei was holding a grudge over you for something he had no right to be angry about whatsoever. He had been holding a grudge over something that he’d learned later that evening that wasn’t even true. 

Kei thinks that what Tadashi is referring to, was deliberately picking a fight with Tanaka. Kei and Tanaka have never been particularly close. Even in high school, his boisterous and somewhat obnoxious personality has always rubbed Kei the wrong way. Despite that, Tanaka has somehow managed to maintain a connection to him through university and the two of them have established a tentative but honest friendship. 

You had been sitting on the arm of the couch beside Tanaka, leaning over him to look at something he was showing you on his phone. Then, you laughed a little too hard and Kei felt that familiar sense of injustice rise to his throat, thick and heavy. It’s an ugly feeling, the kind that makes Kei feel sick when he’s in bed late at night. Bile rose in his throat in the form of harsh words. Jealousy in the form of the verbal venom Kei excels at. 

For Kei, Tanaka was an easy target, someone he could poke at and get a satisfying rise out of. In the moment, the rise he’d gotten from Tanaka by making snide comments about the volume of his voice and his particular obsession with pretty girls had been exactly that, satisfying. 

He’d picked a small fight. Nothing physical, but just enough to get him irritated. Kei’s not proud of it, but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t done it deliberately. After all, Tanaka has never been the type to be the bigger person and turn his nose up. 

Sometimes, when Kei is experiencing emotions he’d rather not deal with, he decides to obsess over one single thing. Usually, it’s cleaning or schoolwork. Tonight, it happened to be the volume of Tanaka’s voice, which he knows was a shitty thing to do. Despite wanting to be reliable, Kei can’t help but feel that he was endlessly immature, lashing out at someone completely unrelated to the situation just because he could. 

Tadashi pulls him from his thoughts. 

“I thought you liked them, dude,” his voice is even, letting up on the anger. 

“Who?” Kei plays dumb. 

Tadashi responds with your name and Kei stiffens slightly. “I thought you guys had gotten closer. What happened?” 

“Nothing happened,” Kei says. It’s the truth. Absolutely nothing happened. Kei had spiraled all on his own. 

“Why did you ignore them then?” 

“I didn’t ignore them,” Kei says. Again, it’s not a lie. He may have shut conversations down and been a little cold, but Kei couldn’t ignore you if he tried, it’s sort of the whole problem he’s dealing with now. 

“Maybe, but you were cold. Like… needlessly.” 

“I was fucking normal, Tadashi. You should know me well enough by now to know that,” Kei spits. 

“That’s the problem though, isn’t it? I know you and I know that shit wasn’t normal. You’re twisted, but you’re not an outright asshole, Kei. What’s going on?” 

“I was normal, Tadashi. Just because I didn’t bounce around or get rowdy, doesn’t mean that something is wrong,” Kei answers. 

“Yeah, but you were like… majorly fucking weird, Kei. You were being an asshole. Don’t you like them? Don’t you want to be nice to them?” 

“I don’t.” 

“You don’t want to be nice to them?” Tadashi scoffs, rolling his eyes. 

“No, not that. I don’t like them like that anymore,” Kei lies. 

“Oh please, that’s such horseshit,” Tadashi laughs bitterly. 

“Get off my ass, Tadashi. I don’t fucking feel that way about them anymore,” Kei insists. 

“Did something happen?” 

“No, literally nothing happened! Why does something have to happen? I just don’t like them,” Kei feels himself getting indignant. Tadashi doesn’t deserve this either, but he seems to be indiscriminate with his poor behavior tonight. 

Tadashi looks at Kei for a moment, studying him and calculating all of the things only Tadashi could know about him. Kei tries to hide it. 

“Jesus, Kei, you’ve got to stop doing this shit,” Tadashi touches his hand to his forehead. 

“Doing what?” 

“Getting all in your head about every single connection you’ve ever had with a person,” Tadashi raises his voice. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“It means I’ve seen you do this a million times! You start to really feel something for a person and then you fucking back away like a dog with its tail between its legs!” 

“I don’t do that!” 

“Yes, you do! You sabotage yourself until the other person is forced to do something about it!” Tadashi exhales. 

“I’ve never done that deliberately! What does someone else’s actions have to do with me?” 

“It doesn’t have to do with you,” Tadashi says, “It has to do with your parents.” 

The wind is knocked out of Kei, air sucked from his lungs. He furrows his eyebrows at Tadashi, his mouth slightly open. 

“I’m right, aren’t I?” Tadashi pushes, angry and trying to make him listen. “Not every relationship is like your parents’, Kei.” 

Tadashi knows he’s stepped over the line the moment he says it. If it hadn’t registered before, it registers clearly on his face now, regret settling over Tadashi’s usually bright features. Kei gapes at him for a moment, running through his thoughts and trying to pick out one that best verbalizes what it is he feels. Kei comes up empty. 

“Shit-” Tadashi starts towards him. “Kei, I’m sorry I didn’t mean that. I’m just pissed off I didn’t mean to-” 

Kei pushes past him. “Tadashi, I know you mean well, but don’t try to tell me about my fucking parents.” 

Tadashi doesn’t try to stop him when Kei flings the front door open and walks outside.

—

Kei remembers it like it was yesterday. He remembers all of it. 

He can clearly recall the way shattered glass looked on the marble tiles of his childhood home. White porcelain, broken up into multitudes by his mother and father. They never laid hands on each other, but everything else in the house was fair game. Kei’s lost count of the amount of broken glass dishes and picture frames he’d swept from the floor. 

Kei’s parents had always been on and off in their affection for each other. One minute, they were deeply in love and the next, they were at each other’s throats. Neither of them were bad people, but they made each other bad people. The two of them brought out the worst in each other, maybe on account of knowing the other so well. 

Akiteru was an accident. His brother knows this because when his parents argued, they never let him forget it. In their spats, leverage was whatever they could get their hands on, and that just happened to be Akiteru and the unfortunate circumstances of an accidental pregnancy. 

His parents got married at 19, thinking that they’d be able to handle a child, that their marriage was anything but rushed. They convinced themselves that it was love, when the reality was that Akiteru came because they were too young and stupid to prevent it. At least, that’s what Kei and Akiteru had settled on in the evenings after the yelling had died down and they were left to make sense of it in their shared bedroom. 

They had Kei to fix the marriage. Kei knows this because, like Akiteru, his father’s marital “solution” in the form of a second child was constant leverage to his mother. Kei grew up asking Akiteru why his mother and father even had children in the first place. 

Their relationship was rocky and unstable, predictable and toxic. They, like Kei, would do things to get rises out of each other. They’d make digs, do things to get under the other’s skin. They did it for attention, for affection, or out of loathing for the person they’d decided to make their life partner. When things settled, they got bored. His parents often mistakened calmness for complacency in their relationship. His parents loved each other, but they hated each other just as much, and it was he and Akiteru who paid the price. 

They got divorced when he was fourteen and any chance of Kei having a normal family went to the courthouse with the divorce papers. Akiteru was 20 at the time and managed to avoid the brunt of the custody battle. Kei still gets unexplainably angry with Akiteru for leaving him alone, though he knows that it’s not his fault. The only way Kei could make sense of it was through blame and it was easier to blame Akiteru for lying about volleyball or leaving him alone than it was to blame himself. Both Kei’s father and mother tried for full custody, not because they loved him that much, but because they knew that it would destroy the other. In the end, Kei spent his weekdays with his mother because she lived closer to his school, and weekends with his father just because. 

It happens all the time. People grow together, then grow apart, and grow to loathe each other. Kei watched it happen to his parents, he watched it happen to his friends, he watched it happen to himself with his own reflection. That’s just the way it goes. 

The air outside of his apartment is cool and breezy. He can feel the wind through his sweater, cutting through the gaps in the stitching and into his skin. Kei feels like he can think a little better out here, sitting on the short concrete wall with his back to the apartment building. He stares at his feet, outstretched in front of him. He's still wearing his house slippers. 

Kei did this once when he was younger. The fight that night had been particularly bad and his parents had resulted to throwing things across their bedroom. Kei could hear picture frames shatter through two walls and he wondered which memories they’d decided to trash. A particularly loud shout had sent Kei out of the front door and onto the curb in front of the house. 

He remembers crying, staring at his house slippers on the pavement, afraid because he could hear the shouting even from the lawn. Akiteru had come out to get him, sitting down beside him on the curb and putting his arm around him. 

“Are mom and dad gonna get divorced?” Kei had asked through sniffles. 

“Divorced? No, no,” Akiteru answered. “It’s just a rough patch. It happens to all couples. Mommy and Daddy will be fine.” 

“It’s normal?” Kei sniffled. 

Akiteru paused for a moment. Looking back, Kei realizes that Akiteru was debating on whether or not to lie to protect him. Kei wishes he hadn’t. 

“Yeah, it’s normal.” 

Normal. Kei realizes that he doesn’t exactly know what a normal relationship looks like. He is his parents' son. What they had in them, he has in him. Kei knows that those habits, the digs, the sour statements, the passive aggressiveness, are all things he’s picked up from watching them. Some role models they were. 

He needs to apologize to Tadashi. He may have overstepped, but Kei knows that he’d been an asshole tonight. He’ll need to apologize to Tanaka as well. And to you, which is perhaps the scariest part of this. He wants to apologize for his behavior, but apologizing means that he has to admit that he’d acted the way his parents did, out of jealousy and a pull for attention. Yup, he’s his parents’ son alright. 

Kei tilts his head up toward the sky. Only half of it is visible, the other half blocked by the three story apartment complex directly behind him. It’s a clear night, but he can’t see any stars and the moon is nowhere to be found. Kei wonders when the morning will come. It’s a few hours off, but he thinks about how the sky will look when the sun begins to rise. 

“Kei,” a familiar voice calls from in front of him. 

You’re a few feet away, your hands clasped in front of you. 

“Thought you went home,” he says. 

“Yeah well, I had intended to,” you start, “but you seemed off and I felt weird going back without checking on you. Can I sit?” 

Kei shrugs his shoulders, mortified and angry at being caught like this. He appreciates the thought, but you’re the last person he wants to see right now. It just means he needs to face his shortcomings sooner. 

“Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” Kei answers automatically. 

“Just decided on some fresh air?” You smile a little and Kei blows air out of his nose. 

“Yup, that’s exactly it.” 

You sit next to him with your legs outstretched the same way his are, your hands are laced together in front of you, hanging down between your thighs. Kei doesn’t make an effort to say anything and neither do you. Instead, he just trains his head back up towards the sky and attempts to collect his thoughts, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 

Strangely, tonight he doesn’t feel nervous. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have the energy to. Maybe he’s too preoccupied with being sorry to pay any mind to the heart palpitations he gets when you’re around. Maybe it’s because even though he showed you the worst of him tonight, you still came back. It’s a small hope, but it’s there. 

“Hey,” your voice comes quietly, “I don’t know what’s going on, but if you need- I mean- if you want to talk about it, I’m a pretty good ear.” 

Kei nods a little. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, “about tonight.” 

“I didn’t come here for an apology, you know?” You exhale a little. 

“Yeah, but you deserve one,” he says. “I was pretty shitty to you.” 

“Yeah, you were,” you agree, catching Kei off guard, “but it happens to all of us. Sometimes we feel things and just can’t keep them inside, you know?” 

“Yeah,” he agrees, swallowing down his shame. 

There’s another long silence. You don’t move to touch him or talk to him, instead, you provide steady company. Kei, as strange as it is, is comforted by your presence. 

“I fought with Tadashi,” Kei says after a few minutes. 

“Today?” 

“Yeah, tonight. After everyone left,” he says. “I deserved it though. I’ve been pretty shitty to him all day.” 

You hum, leaning back on your hands. 

“I did the same shit in high school too, you know?” Kei starts. “We’ve uhm- we’ve known each other for a while, the group that was over tonight. Around the end of middle school some shit happened and I uh- I took out a lot of what I was feeling on Tadashi and the others, but mostly Tadashi because he was the only one who knew.” 

Kei isn’t sure why he’s telling you this. Maybe Tadashi was right. Maybe this is another attempt at self sabotage. 

“You bullied him?” You ask, a little surprised. 

Kei shakes his head. “No, but I wasn’t very nice either. Anyone could tell you that. I thought I was past it, though,” he admits, a little defeated. 

“Did you ever apologize?” 

Kei looks up at you in surprise. Your eyes are full of something, curiosity, maybe pity. 

“For what you did in school?” 

He nods. “Countless times, and not just to Tadashi either, to everyone.” 

“You know, stuff like this happens,” you say. “When I was little, I used to hate sharing. Toys, food, friends. I’d hate it when my friends were friends with other people. It made me insecure and I’d get mad at them for it. I grew out of it, but sometimes I still get that way and I have to apologize later.” 

Kei laughs. It’s strikingly similar to what’s happening now, not that you’d have any way of knowing. 

“I can’t imagine you doing that,” he says. 

“I’m serious,” you say. “I still get weird over it sometimes.” 

Kei shakes his head a little, smiling. 

“All that I’m saying is that sometimes we slip up, that’s all. It’s normal,” you continue. “Not that I’m condoning it. Just saying that it doesn’t make you a horrible person. It makes you human.” 

“Thanks,” he says softly. 

“No problem,” you respond. 

“So why’d you fight with him tonight?” 

“He was angry with me because I was an asshole,” Kei shrugs.

“And you’re mad that he called you out?” You give a quiet and somewhat incredulous laugh. 

Kei shakes his head. “No, I’m angry about what he said after.” 

“What’d he say?” 

Kei debates on telling you. He doesn’t want to make himself out to be a victim. After all, Tadashi meant no harm, even if his comment did exactly that. 

“The argument kind of switched subjects,” Kei tiptoes around the fact that the subject was you. “He brought up a bad habit of mine and I got defensive.” 

“Okay,” you say, waiting for him to say more. 

“Remember when I said that something happened at the end of middle school and only Tadashi knew about it?” When you nod, Kei continues. “My parents got divorced. They were a bad match and it was messy. He brought it up.” 

You nod again, your eyes wide. 

“He didn’t mean any harm, I know that,” Kei inhales. “But uh- that stuff kind of sticks with you. Well, it’s stuck with me and I didn’t like having it used to explain my behaviors, even if he was right. I’m not deflecting or anything though. I know I was the problem tonight.” 

“Sure,” you say. “I’m sorry about your parents.” 

Kei shrugs. “It’s in the past. They’re both remarried now with new kids.” 

The last sentence leaves Kei with a sour taste in his mouth. His parents are good people, but after his childhood, he doesn’t think they have any business having more children. Maybe they’re capable of being good for them, but Kei doesn’t like to imagine that. It makes him feel like their marriage wasn’t the problem, but he and Akiteru were. 

“You say that like they got a new pet,” you smile a little. “Are you still in touch with them?” 

“Yeah,” he says. “I visit whenever I go back home, though they’re really not too far from here.” 

“That’s good of you.” 

“Well, they are my parents,” Kei says plainly. 

You’re the only other person he’s divulged this to by choice and your reactions, understanding and level-headed, make him feel better. It’s like getting a weight off of his chest. This is the worst of him. This little bit of information, his history of being unable to fully confront his feelings, of taking anger out on others when he was young, is where his problems originate. 

“Yeah, but you’re allowed to feel what you feel about it,” you say. “My mom died when I was eleven. Texting and driving. I’m still angry at her for it.” 

“I’m sorry,” he says. 

You shrug and offer him a wry smile. “It’s in the past, but I’m still angry even though I shouldn’t be.” 

“At her?” 

“Yeah,” you nod. “She made a stupid mistake that we’re constantly warned about and left my dad and me behind. I was so angry with her, still am. I love her though, perceived faults and all.” 

Kei thinks about whether or not he loves his parents. He thinks he does, even if he resents them. Kei can’t imagine what he’d do without them. Even though his childhood had few emotional comforts, he still can’t think about a world where he doesn’t visit home to have his mother’s cooking. That’s a world that you live in. 

“That’s hard.” It’s all Kei can think to offer. 

“It was,” you say. “Got easier though as soon as I started accepting things. Now I just miss her more than I hate her.”

Another bout of silence follows this. It must be close to two in the morning and he’s been outside so long that he can no longer feel the tip of his nose. 

“Anyway, about tonight,” you say, “it’s not a crime to feel what you feel, but if you need help, that’s what we’re here for. It’s easier to accept feelings and get hurt than to ignore them, don’t you think?” 

“Yeah,” Kei says, looking to face you. “Thank you.” 

You’re so pretty. It’s striking. The curvature and angles of your face, the gentle look in your eyes, softened by the conversation. Kei finds himself thinking that despite not wanting to face you a few hours earlier, he’s grateful that you showed up. You’re good in ways that Kei can hardly fathom. 

“You should go inside. Tadashi is probably wondering where you are,” you say, standing up. “Plus,” you pinch the tip of his nose between your middle and pointer knuckles, “your nose looks like a cherry tomato.”

“Rude,” he says, startled by the sudden touch. 

“Payback,” you shrug your shoulders and Kei rolls his eyes. 

“Do you need me to walk you home?” Kei offers, a bit nervous about you walking home on your own. 

“I’d love to take you up on that, but you seem tired and I don’t live very far,” you respond. “I’ll call you when I get home though, okay? Since you’re so worried.” 

Kei laughs a little and then nods, standing up. “Yeah, I am.” 

His honesty surprises even him, but you just tilt your head and give him a small smile. 

“I’ll see you on Monday,” you say. “Thanks for the apology” 

“Anytime.”

“I hope not,” you laugh and Kei follows suit. 

You begin to turn on your heel, giving a small wave. 

Kei doesn’t know what overcomes him, but he calls out your name and reaches for your wrist. Before he has a moment to think about what he’s doing, he pulls you to his chest in a hug. You stiffen and then relax in his grip, wrapping your arms around him. Your body is warmer than his, sending heat through the gaps in his sweater. 

“You can call even if it’s not to tell me you got home safe,” he says. “If you want to.” 

You squeeze him around the middle. “Okay, I will.” 

When Kei lets go, he finds that his face is burning. The cold has been replaced by a flush of blood, making his vision a little syrupy.

“Thanks for coming back,” he says. “Get home safe.” 

“Of course,” you sound a little dazed, wearing an expression that Kei thinks might match his. “And I will.” 

Then, you smile at him, flashing your teeth and giving him a wave. You hold up your phone and point to it. 

“Expect a call!” 

Kei nods and raises his arm to wave goodbye.

He stands and watches your figure as you walk down the sidewalk and turn the corner. When you’re out of sight, he lingers by the door to his building, just in case you decide to come back. You don’t come back, but Kei lingers anyway, considering the conversation. 

He goes inside, intent on apologizing to Tadashi. When he opens the door to his apartment, the lights are still on in the living room and Tadashi gets up from the couch and walks quickly down the hall to him.

“Kei, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-” 

“Don’t worry,” Kei says. “I know. I’m sorry about tonight too. And for treating you like that today. And for high school.” 

“High school?” Tadashi says, confused. “Why are you bringing up high school?” 

“Just wanted to apologize again.” 

Kei can feel his eyes drooping, exhaustion creeping into his body and replacing the elated feeling he had moments before. 

“I didn’t mean to bring your parents into it. How you like someone is none of my business,” Tadashi says. “I was out of line.” 

“So was I,” Kei admits through a tired sigh. “I shouldn’t have acted that way. I’ll apologize to the others in the morning.” 

Tadashi narrows his eyes a little and nods. Kei, besieged by that sleepy late night feeling, moves towards his bedroom. 

“Hey, Kei,” his voice comes out a little louder this time. “You’re being surprisingly easy-going. Are we good?” 

Kei scoffs a little, rubbing his eyes. “I just had some time to think, that’s all. And yeah, we’re good.” 

“Okay, are you good?” 

“Yeah, I am,” Kei says. 

Before he closes the door to his room, he furrows his eyebrows and makes a firm decision. 

“By the way,” Tadashi turns to him, cocking his head to the side in response. “I lied. I do like them.” 

“Could have guessed as much,” he responds, laughing a little. “See you in the morning.” 

“Yup, see you in the morning.” 

Kei shuts the door to his room. It clicks into place quietly. His room is spotless. It looks like a room that could be easily emptied at any time. He sighs, stepping into it and laying down on his bed. His phone is on the comforter next to him, lying face up. 

When it lights up, it illuminates the ceiling above him and he answers the phone without needing to check who's calling. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, I got home safe,” he hears your keys clink against something and then the sound of a door shutting. Then, he hears the sound of you laying down on your bed. He imagines you’re lying the same way he is. 

“Good, I’m glad,” he says. “No trouble?” 

“No trouble at all,” you say. He can hear your smile. 

“Thanks again for coming back tonight,” he says, turning over onto his side and letting the phone rest on the bed in front of his face. 

“Of course,” you say.

He doesn’t know what else to say. His nerves have caught up to him and your voice through the speaker sounds so close, like you’re whispering directly into his ear. 

“Okay, well I’m going to go to bed,” Kei starts. 

“Kei?” you say. 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m gonna take you up on your offer. About calling you. Just wanted you to know.” 

“Okay,” he swallows. 

“I feel a lot closer to you.”

“Yeah, me too.” 

“Goodnight, Kei,” you practically whisper. 

“Goodnight,” he responds, lowering his voice the same way you did. You hang up the phone and the call ends. 

He blinks at his phone for a moment before standing up and getting ready for bed. Kei goes through the motions while thinking about how the evening got here. He’d been certain before it began that he no longer liked you, that he was confused. Now, he’s certain of the opposite. 

He decides that he’ll like you for real this time. Even if he’s afraid of hurting himself, of hurting you.

Kei lays down in his bed and faces the ceiling. He thinks about his parents, about your mother, about you. The cadence of your voice, the slight tremor in it. He thinks about your expressions, understanding and unintrusive. He thinks about your history, the anger you’d admitted to him and the grace you’d given him in his own circumstances. 

He dreams of braids, like DNA. Coils of pink yarn woven together in an intricate pattern. A molecular change not visible to the naked eye. Morning comes like liquid gold, spilling across his bedspread in slats through the window.

—

Kei’s apologies go smoothly. Tadashi’s friends—his friends—are good people. They know him better than most and field his awkward, stumbling apology with steady hands. 

He’d explained his sour mood in as little detail as possible, deliberately omitting his feelings for you while doing so, and he made a special effort to apologize to Tanaka. He’s easygoing and quick to forget, but Kei knows that even after accepting the apology, Tanaka will lord it over his head for a week or two. Tanaka thinks those kinds of things are funny and Kei won’t try to tell him otherwise. 

You do take Kei up on his offer. You call him twice a week now. Sometimes it’s to tell him something relevant to him, other times, you just whisper into the phone that you just felt like talking. Either way, it’s not good for his heart. Kei thinks that at this rate, it might just give out. 

There are a lot of things that Kei could say about liking you. It makes his days a little brighter. When he remembers that he has someone he cares about like that, he feels a surge of excitement for no particular reason. He finds that he looks forward to seeing you and goes out of his way to do so, more than he did before he was willing to admit it. 

He’s noticed the way you eat, like every bite of food is even better than the last. He’s noticed that you wipe the condensation off of your cups before each sip. He’s noticed that when you’re studying, you’ll pull at the collar of your shirt absentmindedly and then become frustrated when it is stretched out of place. Kei likes all of these things about you. 

Kei has also found that liking someone hurts. It hurts worse than he thought it would. Insecurity weaves its way into even the most minor of interactions. He’s self conscious almost all of the time, adjusting his hair, clothing, glasses right down to minor details. As of late, Kei appears more put together than he ever has, but the reality is that he’s probably the least put together he’s ever been. 

When you’re around, Kei is awkward and clumsy. He drops things, trips over nothing, loses control over his lanky limbs and overshoots things. He feels like a teenager again, not that he’s that far off from one. 

Still, one thing overshadows all of this. Kei is so comfortable around you, so peaceful despite the nerves and insecurity, that he’s able to forget about the worst of it. Forgetting about the worst of things is not something Kei is particularly good at. He’s cynical by nature. You help to ease the burden of it. 

The coffee shop he’s visiting with you today is quiet. The room is decorated with dark oak wood and the tables are accented by the rings of the trees the wood was cut from. The early spring light filters in at angles through the windows letting out onto the street. It falls across your notebooks and the knuckles of your hand, wrapped evenly around a black pen. 

You’d brought him here to study instead of going to the library and Kei can’t help but think that it feels like a date. His tea sits half-finished in a mug beside his laptop, beginning to cool to room temperature. Your coffee sits by your unoccupied hand and every now and then, you’ll reach to take a sip of the warm beverage without even glancing up. 

Kei has spent so much time watching you today, that he’s hardly gotten any work done. His computer is open on a document with a paragraph of writing about nudity in the classical period, which he hasn’t touched in about 10 minutes. He’s been clicking blankly around the page, adding spaces and then deleting them and then glancing up over the edge of the screen to look at the way you purse your lips when you’re focused. 

“You’d get a lot more done if you stopped staring,” you say, not looking up from your notebook. 

Kei chokes on his exhale. “What?” 

You laugh a little, looking up at him through your lashes. God, you’re pretty. 

“The document?” You chuckle. “You’re not fooling anyone by clicking around randomly like that.” 

“Oh,” Kei furrows his eyebrows and shakes his head a little. “Yeah, just can’t seem to focus.” 

“What’s the paper on?” You set down your pen and cross your arms on the table. 

“It’s not really a paper,” he says. “It’s a visual analysis on the Aphrodite of Knidos.” 

“Is that the one without the arms?” 

“No, but they come from the same family of statues,” Kei smiles a little. 

You hum a bit. “Do you like it?” 

“Like, do I think the statue’s pretty?” Kei closes the screen of his laptop to see you better. “Yeah, I do. Learning about the history of it is a bit depressing though.” 

“Why?” 

“Well, Aphrodite was one of the most powerful Greek gods, right?” He says, and you nod your head and roll your eyes because you know that already. “But this statue group intrudes on a private moment of hers. She’s trying to cover up her body, probably just before or after a bath. It’s meant to be humiliating.” 

You tilt your head. “Sounds more interesting than molecular structures at least.” 

Kei laughs a little. “Yeah, I think it’s just a bit more interesting.” 

“Why did you choose to study art history?” You question, leaning forward on your elbows. 

Kei feels awkward at receiving the question. He doesn’t like talking about himself much, let alone his passions. They tend to get away from him. 

“Probably because I’m no good at art,” he smiles a little. 

“Such a shame, what with your artist’s hands and all,” you reach across the table and tap his knuckle. 

Kei feels the color rise to his cheeks. 

“You’re no good at art, so you study art history instead?” You press for more. 

“Yeah,” he says. “I like things that people make with their hands. There’s a lot of human expression in ancient art, good and bad. Gives a bit more context into who we were before.” 

You lean back in the chair, grinning at him. Kei bites the inside of his cheek and tries not to notice the slope of your neck. 

“Why are you studying molecular bio?” He changes the subject. 

You shrug your shoulders. “I want a good cushy job that makes me a lot of money.” 

Kei watches the corners of your lips curl up. 

“Plus,” you continue, “I wanted to show off a little bit.” 

“So you put yourself through four years of torture?” He raises an eyebrow. 

“Yup, I’m a huge masochist,” you grin. 

“You STEM kids are unbearable, you know?” Kei snorts. 

“But you like me anyway, yeah?” 

Kei nods, heat creeping up his neck, and watches you return to your work. 

It’s true, he does like you anyway. Kei likes you so much, in fact, that it frightens him. Well, the idea of liking someone has always frightened Kei, whether he’s noticed it or not. Commitment, or lack thereof, make Kei nervous in the same way heights do. He feels like he could lose his footing at any moment. 

That’s probably why he doesn’t want to do anything in particular about his feelings. Kei is content with just feeling them. He’s content to just be able to like you in his own way, even if nothing ever comes of it. He probably shouldn’t do anything about them, considering the back and forth battle he’s waged in his mind over the last few months. He’s too indecisive to do anything but like you, and even that feels herculean to accept. 

Not that liking you is a hard thing to do. You’re easy to like. It’s easy for him to picture touching you. It’s easy for Kei to imagine late night conversations and little intimacies shared over damp pillows. You’re easy to talk to, floating through conversations and navigating conflict with a sure step, something Kei can’t do. It’s not hard to find things to admire. 

Kei imagines what it would be like to be with you. He imagines the feel of your hands in his, how you might look spread beneath him, the inside of your thighs pressing against his hips. He imagines how his glasses might fog up with your breath and slip down the bridge of his nose. What do you taste like? What do you feel like? 

A little alarm bell sounds in his head. This is a dangerous line of thought, a greedy one. Kei doesn’t think he can handle greed, not when it comes to you. He got a taste of it that day when he saw you leave with someone else and again the following Friday. Kei doesn’t mix well with it, with wanting. Still, he wants. 

—

It’s a breezy day. It cuts the growing humidity as the beginning of May creeps on. This is no doubt one of the best times of year, though Kei prefers the fall or winter. Still, even with the slightly sticky air, his walk to class is pleasant. He’d even venture to say that it’s good. 

Light filters through the trees, blooming with their spring flowers, and in the distance he can see a familiar row of cherry blossoms just beginning to bloom. As he approaches them, he finds himself admiring their delicate petals, wondering just how brief their bloom will be before they come cascading down. One tree among the pink rows has yet to open its flowers. The buds sit on their branches, shades of green and gray. A late bloomer. This tree will no doubt flower once the other petals have fallen, and when it does, it’ll become the most eye-catching thing on the street. 

Kei admires it for a moment, standing below the thing and looking up through its twisting branches. It’s so small, much smaller than the rest of its counterparts, and its branches don’t look too full of yet-to-bloom buds either. 

There was a tree like this outside of Kei’s childhood home, the one his family lived in together when it was whole. It would always bloom a week after the others and every year he would worry that it never would. Of course, he kept this fear to himself, but he often watched it from his bedroom window when Akiteru was out. He’d press his face against the glass and pray for the flowers to come so that it didn’t get left behind. Sure enough though, it would bloom without fail and leave scattered pink petals across his yard and doorstep. Kei wonders if this tree in front of him will do the same. 

“Thinking about changing your major to plant sciences, Kei?” 

He jumps, started by your voice and your proximity. 

“Jesus,” Kei turns, “you need a bell or something.” 

“You’re the one standing in public staring at a tree with no flowers on it,” you laugh a little. 

Kei shrugs his shoulders, not really willing to give an explanation for the train of thought he was just on. 

“Where’re you headed?” he questions. 

“Dropping off an assignment,” you smile lightly, “wanna come with me?” 

“I can’t. I’ve got a class in 15.” 

“Fifteen minutes is fifteen minutes,” you shrug. “We’ll make it.” 

“We?” Kei raises an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, you come with me to drop off my paper and then I drop you off at class. It’s a win-win.” 

“Sounds like I’m just doing a lot of extra walking,” Kei snorts. 

“Yeah, but you get to do it with me so it’ll be more fun.” 

Kei folds and goes with you to drop off your assignment. It’s an essay assigned by an old-fashioned professor who doesn’t like electronic submissions. You comment off-handedly on what a waste of paper it is and Kei nods, just happy to hear about it. 

It’s strange. Kei is normally very tied to his routine. It keeps him sane, helps him to organize his thoughts and feelings into neat compartments. For Kei, an orderly life is an orderly mind. Somehow though, you ask him to deviate from that and he’s more than willing, eager even, to oblige you. Better yet, he does it without feeling off-kilter. Well, without feeling as off-kilter about his daily life. When it comes to you, Kei is about as stable as a pogo stick. 

The walk to your professor's office is only a few minutes from his classroom, just a few buildings over, but by the time you both arrive there, Kei’s palms are sweating. He resorts to shoving them in his pockets and wiping them on the inside of his pants, mortified at the idea of accidentally touching you like this. 

“Hey, about tonight,” you start after dropping the paper off with a quick bow. 

You’re supposed to come over. It’s the first time you and Kei have agreed to hang out at one of your places alone and Kei has been compartmentalizing his nerves so harshly that he’d almost forgotten about it entirely. Maybe that explains his easy-going mood. 

“Yeah?” 

“So, Tadashi may have mentioned it in front of the others,” you give him a sheepish grin, “and they may have asked to come and I definitely told them ‘the more the merrier’.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Kei’s a little disappointed. “So they’re coming too?” 

“Yeah, is that okay?” You furrow your eyebrows. 

Kei can’t very well come out and say that it isn’t, because his reason for thinking that is entirely about monopolizing your time. Kei says he doesn’t want to do anything about these feelings, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t indulge just a little into the foreign feeling of accepting that he’s ‘in like’. 

“Yeah sure, why wouldn’t it be?” 

You raise an eyebrow at him and Kei misses the message entirely. 

“I dunno, you’re not really a fan of bigger groups right?” 

“Not really,” Kei shrugs, “but I’ve known them for a while so it doesn’t count.” 

You nod your head and then smile. “Great! Now, where is your class?” 

“Social Sciences,” Kei glances down at the brown watch on his wrist. “In about… four minutes.” 

“Wanna run? Can’t be late, can you?” 

Kei does not want to run. He runs anyway. You’re faster than he is and your step is louder. The soles of your shoes thump on the floor with every step you take and your whole body lurches forward with each bound. When you reach the end of the hallway his class is in, Kei is completely winded. Considering that he plays volleyball as a hobby, he should really be in better shape. He attributes his lack of breath to your presence. Maybe he’d been holding it while watching you run. 

You glance into his full classroom, giving him a relieved look upon seeing that the professor has not begun her lecture yet. Then, you bounce twice on the tips of your toes and start jogging in the other direction. 

“Have a good class!” You call. 

“What’s the rush?” he questions. 

“I’ve got class now too, dummy. Just wanted to hang out with you for a few more minutes.” Then, you turn and run off, your bag bouncing against the side of your leg as you round a corner and fly down a set of stairs. 

That’s the thing about you that Kei can’t get enough of. When Kei takes a step back, when he resigns himself to being okay with just a chance meeting and a brief hello, you take a step forward. Whatever Kei lacks, you make up for tenfold. Your outstretched hand makes him greedier. It makes Kei want more than he’s ever wanted before. He goes to class starved for something that isn’t food, a feeling Kei hasn’t experienced often, let alone leaned into. He lets himself feel the hunger. 

—

Day melts away to a cool evening, still slightly wet, but like the dampness before rain. The air loses its warm touch, creeping into something chillier. Kei opens his bedroom window to let the air in. He likes the smell of cool nights. He wants his room to smell like it when he sleeps tonight. 

“Sorry that I spilled the beans about tonight,” Tadashi leans in the doorway of his room. 

“It’s not like that,” Kei rolls his eyes, already irritated with the implication that whatever you and Kei had organized was anything more than two friends hanging out. 

“Sure it isn’t,” he laughs. 

“I’m serious dude,” Kei fights the urge to throw something soft at him. 

“You wanted to hang out with them alone, right?” Tadashi tilts his head. His dark hair falls to the side and around his neck. 

“I just said it wasn’t like that!” 

Tadashi gives an even laugh. “You’re the one making it dirty, Tsukki, not me.” 

Heat floods Kei’s face, painting it red. 

“Caught ya,” Tadashi smiles. 

“When the hell are you moving out?” Kei grumbles and Tadashi gives another good natured laugh. 

“Not until you do. You’re stuck with me.” 

“Not if I kill you,” Kei doesn’t smile when he says this. 

Tadashi barks a laugh. “So what changed?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean with you. You seem a little more upbeat lately,” Tadashi says. “Nothing like the sad sack from a few months ago.” 

“I was kidding before but now I’m serious. I really will kill you.” 

Tadashi shakes his head a little but doesn’t say anything, intruding on Kei’s space until he gives an answer. 

“I just got tired of it, that’s all,” Kei says evenly, though it’s a little hard to admit. 

“Tired of what?” 

“Pretending,” he says plainly, glancing up at Tadashi in the doorway. 

“Because of them?” 

“No,” he starts. “Maybe. I don’t know. Can you leave now?” 

Tadashi shakes his head. “Too curious to leave.” 

“I don’t have an answer for you,” Kei grumbles. “I got tired of pretending I didn’t want them.” 

“Not like you were very good at pretending,” Tadashi laughs and Kei tosses him a sharp look. 

He raises his hands defensively, tucking his chin downwards and laughing lightly. “Okay, fine. I’m gone now.” 

“They’ll be here in an hour or so, by the way,” Kei adds and Tadashi gives a little hum to confirm that he’s heard him as he leaves the room. 

Kei glances around his room. The floor is bare, save for a small mat by the side of his bed to keep the shock of warm feet on a cold floor in the morning away. That notebook, dear to him as it is, still sits on the desk. It’s empty, but Kei likes the look of it. 

The hour before you and his friends are meant to arrive goes by so slowly that Kei worries that he’s gotten the day wrong. He incessantly checks his watch. It’s a brown leather watch with a square face. Thin and somewhat old fashioned, Kei prefers it to pulling his phone out to check the time. His Dad has one like it, almost matching. It had been given to him as a gift at his high school graduation and Kei had accepted it begrudgingly. He’d not been on good terms with his parents then and having them both in the same space for his graduation day was more trouble than it was worth. Still, he wears the watch almost daily. Despite having the impression that his parents never really cared about him, it was a fine gift for him and the brown strap suits his light skin tone in the same way it suits his father’s. 

He walks to the mirror in his room, hanging on the wall beside his nightstand, and peers into it. Kei’s curly hair is somewhat unruly. It’s hard to manage, especially in the warmer months when his waves turn into frizzy curls that he can’t seem to keep down. It’s gotten longer, coming down to just above the bottom of his ears at the back and curls upwards in licks of thick blond. 

Kei fiddles with it for a moment, tucking it behind his ears and then deciding to pull it forward. He could put gel in it to help calm it down, but he hates the greasy look of it and he’s never been one to primp and preen. He adjusts his glasses on his nose, square frames in a tortoiseshell pattern. They look expensive, though they’re only a cheap pair that he’d found at the drug store and had the lenses replaced. 

He looks normal. Kei looks like himself, if not a bit flushed in the face from his nerves. His reflection is one he is oddly unfamiliar with, despite it being his throughout his entire life. At some point during high school, he’d stopped recognizing the man in the mirror as Kei and started viewing him as a separate entity. Kei Two, a version of him that can make a home out of a space and find things to write in his notebook. Kei Two’s family is still whole and unbroken, and he likes to imagine that he’s a little more friendly than the real-world version. He looks away from the mirror, content today with being the original. 

Kei is in the living room and around the corner when the front door latch clicks open and is followed by a symphony of raucous voices. He takes a sharp inhale, unsure of why this feels so different from the hundreds of other times you’ve all piled into his living room. 

“Where’s Kei?” He hears you call, dragging out the syllable of his name in a soft hum. 

That’s why. It’s because this time, you’ve come here to see him specifically. You’re not here to see Tadashi or by chance, you’re here because you’d made plans to see Kei. That’s what makes it different. 

You round the corner and Kei is hit full force in the chest with his emotions and his nerves. It happens all at once, keeping the air from his lungs. You’re smiling, beaming even, and Kei thinks that maybe it’s because you can hear the hammer of his heart against his chest. 

“Hi,” you breathe, plopping down next to him on the couch. 

“Hey,” he chokes out. 

Kei chides himself for his nerves. He’d been doing better about getting weird around you, but today he feels closer to blowing up than he ever has. 

Hinata, Kageyama, Yachi, and Noya make their way into the kitchen, each one clapping Tadashi on the back as they do. They beeline for their fridge, opening the door and flooding the floor with artificial white light as they pull out enough beers and sodas to supply a small army. Kei wonders why he and Tadashi ever bought so many of them. Kei hardly drinks, but he supposes that Tadashi just likes to host. 

“Tanaka and Kiyoko?” Tadashi questions as he makes his way into the living room with the group. His beer cracks open with a satisfying pop. 

“Date night,” Noya says, sinking into one of the arm chairs situated around the coffee table. “So annoying.”

He groans about Kiyoko, someone he’s all but worshiped since high school. 

“You’re just mad it isn’t you,” Kageyama quips, giving a somewhat mean grin. 

“Not true,” Noya argues. “I am the happiest person in the world for them! But now they go on dates and I can’t come. It’s like I lost a bro.” 

“You’re so overreacting,” Yachi adds, her lips forming around high pitched syllables. “They’re here most of the time.” 

“Yeah, most but not all,” Noya pouts. 

“Give the same energy to Daichi, Suga, and Asahi next time, kay?” Tadashi laughs. 

Their friend group is a large one, consisting of most (if not all) of their highschool volleyball team. While Hinata, Kageyama, and Yachi are the same age as Kei and Tadashi, Tanaka and Noya are a year older, and Kiyoko is two. Daichi, Asahi, and Suga all went to universities outside of Sendai, meaning they hardly ever see them. All in all, the rest of the group is pretty bummed about it. Kei just finds that he misses having Daichi around to reel everyone in. Now that he’s gone, that job has somehow gone to Tadashi, who is more of an enabler than anything else. 

“They’re different and you know it,” Noya frowns, opening his open beer with a hiss through his teeth. 

You lean to the side, bumping your shoulder against Kei’s. 

“Who’re Daichi, Suga, and Asahi?” You ask softly. 

“You’ve never met?” Kei furrows his eyebrows and you shrug. 

“Maybe, but if I have it was only once or twice.” 

“They’re friends from our volleyball team in highschool, but they’re two years older.” 

“Okay, so one year older than me?” 

Kei blinks a few times. “You’re a year older than me?” 

“Yeah?” You laugh a little like it’s obvious. 

“But aren’t you a fourth year?” He furrows his eyebrows. 

“I took a year off before starting college,” you shrug your shoulders. “Thought that I had to get my sillies out.” 

“Your sillies?” Kei laughs a little. 

“Yeah,” you smile, “and I had to save up some money. It makes the world go ‘round, you know?” 

“What are you guys whispering about?” Tadashi gives Kei a wry grin over the top of his beer can. 

It’s only then that Kei realizes the way you both are leaning into each other. He’s tilting his head down to hear you better and you’re leaning forward. It gives off the impression of two people conspiring, of closeness that Kei hadn’t even realized had crept up on him. 

“I was asking who Daichi, Suga, and Asahi are,” you shrug off the moment, leaning back in the chair. 

This prompts a chorus of disbelief, everyone jumping in to describe them to you. Kei takes it as a moment to breathe, inhaling and exhaling. He can feel your thigh against his, just barely there and bleeding warmth through the fabric of his jeans. 

They delve into stories about nationals, little details that Kei had forgotten a long time ago. Every now and then, someone will bring up Kei’s more-than-sour personality and he will feel the need to hide the embarrassment on his cheeks. Even though you know about it, it’s still mortifying for Kei to hear. He wants you to see the best in him, but any hopes he had of you forgetting are quickly washed away as someone brings up Kei’s relentless prodding of Kageyama’s easily pushed buttons. 

You laugh along with them like you were there, amused to hear stories about your college friends in their high school years. Kei finds himself thinking that you fit very well into this scene. 

Still though, despite the fun he’s having, Kei’s battery begins to run out quickly and after a long game of cards, he gets up to take a quick break in the kitchen. It’s not that he wants the night to end, but rather that he just needs a minute to himself and uses the idea of more snacks as an excuse for it. 

He reaches into a cabinet, pulling out a half-finished bag of chips and setting them on the counter. They’re clipped with a bright red chip-clip from the grocery store and Kei thinks that because of that, they shouldn’t have gone stale yet. If it were the peak of summer, Kei might think twice, but this time of year, they should be fine.

Then, he bends down to get a large white mixing bowl from a lower cabinet. Their plates and bowls are kept in various different cabinets, though the only reason they stay somewhat organized is because of Kei. 

“Done already?” You lean your hip against the counter. 

“With what?” Kei struggles to keep his eyes from following the line of your body. 

“Hanging out,” you smile lightly. 

“Not really,” he says. “Just needed a minute and decided to get more snacks.” 

“Wanna go sit outside for a bit then?” 

Kei glances into the living room where the group chatters away. He’d hate to be stopped on the way. 

“Relax,” you laugh. “They’re so caught up they won’t even notice that we’re gone.” 

Kei furrows his eyebrows and then shrugs, swallowing his heart down with the spit that has pooled in his mouth. He follows you out of the front door, shutting it with a quiet click and heading down the steps of the complex and to the concrete wall lining the shrubbery outside. It’s the same place you’d come back to talk to him at all those weeks ago, though he is in considerably better spirits than he was then. 

It’s a cool night, the gentle heat of the day completely burned off to make way for a crisp breeze. He inhales, wishing that he had brought a drink to fiddle with and sip on to distract him from his nerves. 

You sit beside him, leaning back on your palms with your legs outstretched in front of you. Your hand is only a few inches from his and Kei sucks in a breath when he accidentally touches it while he gets comfortable. You only offer him a little smile in response. 

“Sorry again about bringing the troops here,” you speak first. 

“That’s really okay,” he says. “Contrary to popular belief, I actually really like them.” 

You snort. “I hope so.” 

Kei inhales louder than he intends to and when you look at him like he’s going to say something, he just holds his breath and shakes his head. The air only leaves him when you finally look away. 

“Kind of a bummer though,” you start, “I was kinda excited about just hanging out with you.” 

Kei’s breath catches in his throat. He swallows to move the metaphorical blockage. 

“We hang out all the time though,” he says like it’s enough. Of course it’s not enough. 

“Guess so,” you smile a little, though Kei can hear the distinct turn of disappointment in your voice. 

“You know,” he starts, already embarrassed at what he’s going to admit. “I wanted to be your friend for a while.” 

“Oh yeah?” you smile, opening up again and turning towards him. “Why?” 

Kei shrugs, resisting the urge to shut down completely. It’s embarrassing admitting to someone that you wanted to know them before you actually knew them. 

“You kind of reminded me of Tadashi,” he says. “And you both got along so well.” 

“Tadashi? I’m nothing like Tadashi,” you laugh, shaking your head. 

“What? No, you two are so similar,” Kei insists, lacing his fingers together. 

“What about us is so similar?” 

“Well, you’re both sociable and warm and…” Kei trails off. He can’t really think of anything else. You look at him with an expectant look in your eyes. 

“See?” 

Kei realizes that the two of you are not similar at all. Your warmth is where the similarity stops. He’d been likening you to Tadashi this entire time, not because the two of you are similar, but because you make him feel similar to the way Tadashi does. Safe and comfortable, though with the added addition of deeply awkward. He realizes that without the safety net of you being like Tadashi, he’s never had any ability to deny his feelings and with that they rage full force around the corner and slam into his chest like a heavy blow. 

“We’re nothing like each other,” you laugh and lean back against your palms. “Though, it would be cool to be like Tadashi.” 

Kei experiences the sudden realization that he doesn’t want you to be like Tadashi. Kei wants you to be like him. He wants you to be greedy and want him the same way he wants you. He wants you to be able to keep up with his turns and his moods, something he didn’t realize he wanted in the first place. If you’re like Kei, then Kei doesn’t have to be afraid of showing you the worst. You’ll have already seen it. If you’re like Kei and he loves you, then what is stopping you from loving him? 

“Even if you’re not like Tadashi, that’s fine.” His cheeks burn. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, I like you all the same,” he admits quietly. 

“The same? As Tadashi?” You purse your lips a little. “I thought I was a little different. Was I wrong?” 

Kei wants to kiss you. Kei wants to kiss you so badly that his mouth has gone dry and his lips feel like they’ve separated from his body. Anything he’d thought about not wanting anything with you flies out of the window with your proximity. You’re so close to him. Close enough that if he leaned a little to the right, his shoulder would be against yours. You’re so close and you’re looking at him like you’re waiting for something, implying that somehow you’re different from Tadashi. Implying that you want him to like you differently than the way he likes his platonic friend. 

“No, you’re different,” he says, taking the bait you’ve laid in front of him. His heart pounds and he can’t look at you. He thinks he’ll kiss you if he does. 

“Am I?” 

Kei can hear the smile in your voice. It makes what you’re saying sound honeyed and curved. 

“Yeah, you are.”

“How so?” 

Kei finally raises his head to look at you. You’re grinning, leaning towards him like you’re watching a show. He feels the way his nerves rise into his throat, pressing against the very back of his tongue. He doesn’t know how to answer or what to say. Well, he does know what to say, he just doesn’t think he can. Kei is good at thinking about emotions, but when it comes time to speak them outloud, it seems that he’s still got a padlock around his throat. So he does what any logical person would do. 

Kei leans forward, pushing against his screaming nerves and trying to ignore the tremble in his hands, and kisses you. It’s awkward and his teeth click against yours before his lips fully settle against your mouth. He feels the breath you draw in, like surprise and relief mixed together, and he finds that he does the same. 

He can see the way your eyes flutter closed through his barely open ones and he realizes that your lips are so warm. He screws his eyes shut when you dip your head forward to move your lips against his. Yours are so warm and soft, like satin. A kiss has never felt like this to Kei before and he finds that he wants to catalog every single one of your reactions. Maybe that’s what he could write in the notebook. Maybe he could write down every single thing that you do that leaves him winded and wanting more. 

Neither of you reach for the other, but he can feel the knuckle of your pinky against his as you slowly kiss each other, tilting your heads side to side. There’s hunger within him, the need to take more than what he’s receiving and a greed he isn’t quite familiar with, but there’s also romance. It’s like a spell that’s yet to be broken, fed by the click of your mouths as they move together. Kei sighs, flooded with the relief of this kind of physical affection, of being honest with himself at how much he likes it. Kei loves the feel of your mouth. He loves the way your lips and tongue feel and he loves that they’re all that he can feel right now. 

The kiss lasts longer than Kei thought it would and by the time he pulls away, you’re both steadily panting and attempting to keep your breathing even. He wants to do it again. He wants it so badly that it makes his chest swell. He wants to do that with you forever, but he swallows down the desire. It’s a temporary fix, but it’s enough for him to choke out what it is he wants to say next. 

“I think I’m in really hot water,” he squeaks. 

“What do you mean?” You breathe out, the playfulness from a few moments earlier long behind you. 

“I think I want you way more than I thought I did,” he admits quietly, the first out loud admittance of his feelings to you. 

You smile a little before speaking. “I think it’s only hot water if the other person doesn’t feel the same way.” 

Your face is still so close to his. “Yeah?” 

It comes out a bit desperate, like he needs reassurance. Kei does. He’s so afraid that he thinks he could die. Afraid of the spell breaking, afraid of losing whatever moment this is and being forced to return to his one-sided pining, afraid that you don’t feel the same way.

Your face moves closer to him, breath trembling lightly. “Yeah.” 

You kiss him again, pressing your lips against his lightly before parting them. He’s so overwhelmed and so immediately lost in it. Kei feels the way your tongue teases the inside of his mouth and it makes him feel like a teenager again, swelling with desires and emotions that he can’t name. You move your hand over his, placing it lightly on top of his, and he reacts by lacing your fingers together and pushing forward more. 

Kei wants to touch you so badly, to reach up and hold your face, to touch your waist and your legs and your chest. He wants to do it all, to feel you right here under the cover of night, but he doesn’t. Instead, he kisses you and stews in the desire, letting it swell in his chest as he listens to the clicking of your mouths. You kiss him so slowly, moving your mouth at a languid pace. It drives him crazy. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get enough of this.

“We should go back inside, I think,” you break away, your bottom lip shiny with a sheen of spit. “The others might think something’s up and Tanaka isn’t exactly good with discretion.”

Kei automatically reaches up to swipe it with his thumb. He doesn’t know where this affection comes from, where the possessive action found its origins, but he finds that he likes the way it feels to be able to do it in the first place. 

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Kei responds, though he would have been happy to continue sitting out here with you, kissing you silly. 

You stand first, dusting off the back of your legs and waiting for Kei to follow suit. When he does, you reach quickly for his hand, giving it a quick squeeze before walking in front of him. 

Kei is not sure how he should act when he goes inside. He’s tense all over, desperate to pick up where the two of you left off, and unsure if his face betrays that thought. 

“Where’d you guys go?” Tadashi asks as Kei closes the door behind him. 

In the time you’d both been gone, the living room has been transformed into something nearly unrecognizable. Empty beer cans are strewn about the tables and the blankets and pillows from the couches are now haphazardly laying around beside the couch or over people’s bodies. Then again, maybe the room always looked like this and he was just too busy thinking about how close you were to him. 

Kei doesn’t know what to say. Why had they gone outside in the first place? He’s not even sure that he remembers. 

“I wanted a cigarette and I made Kei come with me,” you answer evenly. “Why? You jealous?” 

“Of inhaling second-hand smoke? No, thanks.” Tadashi laughs, but he tosses Kei a sideways glance. Tadashi knows him well enough to know that Kei wouldn’t voluntarily stand outside with a smoker unless he was particularly fond of them. 

“Aw, man, I thought you quit?” Hinata pipes up, tilting his head. 

“I did, hot stuff,” you respond, sitting down on the couch. “Don’t worry. I won’t smoke anymore.” 

Hinata huffs and Kei takes the opportunity to sit down next to you. 

His thigh is pressed against yours, warmth seeping through his pants and into his skin. Kei feels like he could explode. You’re so close to him again, closer than before, and he can’t stop replaying the kiss in his head. He’s desperate for it, fidgety with his desire. He keeps thinking about the hot press of your mouth and the languid motion of your tongue. All he can imagine is the few points of contact between you both, mouth and hands, and how badly he wanted it to be more. He needs it. 

You touch him a few times throughout the night and the tension is so palpable that Kei is convinced he can see it. It’s like there is a rope pulled taut between the two of you. If he doesn’t stick his ground, he’ll go flying towards you, grabbing and touching and taking in the way he’s desperate to now. 

After an hour, his friends begin to grow restless. Their faces are flushed with alcohol and the things they’d been amusing themselves with are no longer enough stimulation. 

“Hey, we’re going out to the bars. Who’s coming?” Hinata speaks up. 

A chorus of agreement rings out, but the last thing Kei wants to do is go out.

“I think I’ll probably stay back and start cleaning,” he says somewhat disdainfully. “It’s a mess in here,” Kei tosses you a small glance. It’s unintentional but he’s glad for it because Kei is hoping that you’ll stay back with him, that you both can pick up where you left off. 

“I’ll stay and help too. I’ve got an early morning tomorrow anyway,” you smile and Hinata pouts. 

“You guys are so boring,” he protests. “Leave the mess for tomorrow and come out with us.” 

“I’ll pass, pipsqueak,” Kei scoffs. 

“Fine, but don’t complain to me when you’re full of regret tomorrow,” he points a finger at Kei and then moves it over to you. “And you’re too nice for your own good.” 

“Do you hear that?” You say, beginning to usher the group to the door. “I think it’s the sound of the bar and all that alcohol calling to you guys.” 

“You guys are so full of shit-” Kageyama starts, speaking up for the first time in a while, but Kei just waves him out. 

“Yeah yeah, let the grown ups clean while you guys have fun. We’ll see you tomorrow.” 

The rope is so taut between you both that it’s unbearable and by the time the door closes, you are spinning around on your heel toward Kei. 

“We’re not cleaning, right?” 

Kei shakes his head and starts towards you. The tension breaks when his hands find your hips and he hungrily leans down to press his mouth against yours. 

This kiss is different from the first, desperate and full of desire. It’s fast and your mouths move together quickly as he starts to walk you back towards his bedroom, his hands eagerly roaming up and down your hips. Vaguely, he acknowledges that his glasses have been moved out of place, but he pays it no mind as you turn the knob to his bedroom door with your back to it. 

There’s an urgency to his movements. Kei feels it in his chest, this desperate desire to be closer, to consume everything that you’ve laid out in the palm of his hand. You stumble backwards into his room and Kei catches your shifted weight with a hand around your waist. His other hand comes up to cup your cheek, feeling the warm skin on your jaw and neck. His fingers tremble where they touch you, half out of desperate need and half out of the nerves that threaten to spill from his mouth. His lips though, are occupied with yours, clicking together, all tongue and teeth. 

Kei kisses sloppily down your jaw, his lips smearing across your cheek and dipping down below your ear. He sucks a trail there, unsure if he’s leaving marks, all the way down to your collarbone. Every part of you tastes better than he’d expected it to and with every push he delivers, you pull. 

You make small sounds, little pants and groans that make Kei’s hair stand on end with wanting. Your voice, so familiar and fond to him, spills out in small, breath-like bursts that make Kei want to coax more out of you. Kei’s never been one to want this way, but right now, it’s all that he feels. So much tension and impulse that he feels like he can hardly control himself. 

You reach blindly behind you for the bed and Kei guides you down, placing his hand on one side of you as you sit. Then, without disconnecting your lips, he guides you up toward the wall. 

He feels the cool tips of your fingers at the hem of his shirt, pulling downward and then upward to get him to take it off. Kei obliges you, leaning back on his knees and pulling it off over the top of his head. You eye him for a moment, the two of you slowing down enough as the urgency settles into something heavy and lingering. 

Kei leans forward again, one of his hands reaching for your hip. He slips his fingers underneath the hem of your shirt, sliding his long fingers up your stomach as he kisses you again. You’re so soft and he can feel the way your chest heaves against his palm. His touch is feather light and he slides it up evenly until it reaches just below your breast. When you nod, Kei moves it up over your bra and he feels you shudder. Kei does the same, overwhelmed by your pliability. 

He can feel the goosebumps that have raised on your skin, little pinpricks of skin that indicate that some part of you feels good. When Kei squeezes your breast, you gasp into his moan and he groans his response, letting you bite at his bottom lip. 

He feels you suck at his lips and swipe your tongue along the ridge of his mouth. When he opens it to let you in, he’s overtaken by the warmth of the soft muscle. He groans, tilting his head down to kiss you deeper, letting the taste of you spread over his mouth. It’s hot and your breath fans across his face. 

Kei hands drift from your breasts along the sides of your body. He feels the heave of your breath there against your warm skin, his palms resting on your waist. You raise your knees, the sides of them pressing against Kei’s hips. He shifts downwards slowly, dragging his mouth along your skin, past the cloth of your shirt. 

His hands make their way from your waist to your hips as he dips lower. Kei takes off his glasses, already fogged up and in the way. When he meets your eyes, you nod your permission and Kei slips between your legs, his flat palms moving to spread your thighs. 

You’re so warm and soft, so pliable in a way that Kei can’t articulate. It makes his mouth water with his desperation and he’s grown hard against the bedspread beneath him. 

“Touch me,” you breathe out. 

Kei nods into your stomach, looping his fingers around our waistband, and pulls down your pants. Your panties come with it and it’s with a slight wave of regret that he realizes he won’t get to see the way you stick to them. 

When he sees you, his heart leaps into his throat. His eagerness and his nerves catch up to him and he lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. You shudder when the air hits your exposed cunt, an unintentional side effect of Kei’s nerves that has him grinding down against the bedspread. 

He slides his palm to rest over your center. It’s warm and sticky, wet beyond what Kei had imagined and he gingerly presses a finger between your folds. You gasp, mouth falling open above him. Then, he slides his finger into you to the first knuckle, curling up. Kei goes deeper on the second pump, curling his whole finger inside of you and feeling the way you tighten around him. 

You arch your back up off the bed and Kei groans and rolls his eyes, resting his head on the inside of your exposed thigh. He curls his fingers in you, watching the way they coat with your pleasure. His eyebrows are knit together, like he’s asking whether you like how he touches you or not, and you seem to pick up on his insecurity, nodding your head before letting it tip back against Kei’s pillows. 

Kei thinks your expression is incredible. Your eyebrows pull up in the center, pretty face twisted and mouth slightly open in an expression of undeniable pleasure. Kei’s stomach winds at the look of it and he ruts his hips against the mattress to quell the growing ache of need. His fingers, which curl at a slow and even pace inside of you, are warm with your enjoyment. It leaks between his knuckles, sliding down the back of his hand like a slow moving syrup. He wonders whether you have more to give and how you taste, his gaze slinking from your face to the place just above where his fingers disappear. 

He lowers his mouth to you without thinking, curious and needing the taste of it. Sure enough, you have more to give. Your voice comes quickly, a small gasp that is stifled by the back of your hand when he sucks sharply on your clit. Your hips push forward against his hands and then you arch up off the mattress with a small cry. Kei wonders if you’ve cum. He wonders if he’s sent you over the edge, but if he has, you’re taking all of it so well that he doesn’t dare stop. 

The taste of you spreads on his tongue, tangy and warm. You invade his senses violently, like you are gripping his throat. Kei holds his mouth to you, pressing the length of his cock into the mattress and moving his hips like he plans to fuck it. 

He moves his free hand down your thigh and onto the inside of your leg. Your skin is so soft. It’s so vulnerable, something easily pierced and bled. Kei’s pointer finger rubs gentle circles there, feeling the slight pull of the soft skin with his fingers, so thin that it almost feels like tissue paper. He’s sure that with a little pressure, you would bruise. 

The thought surprises him. He works his tongue across your clit and his fingers against that gummy spot inside of you, but his mind drifts to the softness of your inner thigh, the way it would be so easy to leave a spot that might hurt later when you press on it, remind you of exactly where he was. Then, Kei pinches you on the inside of your thigh and when you cry out, tightening around his fingers with a tapered moan, he pinches you again, harder this time. 

You whimper slightly, like you like it. No, you sound like you love it and Kei finds himself holding back a choked moan as he tries not to cum prematurely. He pinches along the inside of your legs and around the back. Not too much. Only when he feels like it. Only when he wants to hear what kind of sounds you’ll make. 

“K-Kei wait, wait,” you pant, grabbing him by his tufts of blonde hair. It hurts. He doesn’t think you mean to hurt him, but it doesn’t matter. He likes it and he twitches in his pants. 

“Huh?” He hums, detaching from your clit and slowing the movement of his fingers to a halt. Your legs shake around his handiwork. “You okay?” 

“I’ll cum if you keep going like that,” you breathe, screwing your eyes shut like you’re still on the edge. “Drag it out for me, yeah?” 

Kei furrows his eyebrows and sucks in a sharp breath.

“Cum if you want to.” He tilts his head down to reattach his lips. 

“Not yet,” you tug at his hair. “I like chasing it.” 

Kei stares at you, unblinking and awestruck. Your chest heaves and despite the pleasure on your face, you look uncomfortable as your orgasm slips away from you. Kei likes that look on your face and he finds himself growing greedy. 

“Come here,” you coax him onto the mattress. 

Kei watches as you slip your hands into the waistband of his jeans and pull them down, leaving him on his back with his tented boxers exposed. You crawl down his body and settle between his legs with your arms between his thighs. He shudders when you run your hands up them and he briefly sees his boxers jump. 

You smile, pressing your mouth to him through his boxers. Kei can’t stifle the groan that escapes him and heat floods his face when you raise your eyebrows in response. 

“You don’t have to,” he says through gritted teeth as you slip the waistband of his boxers down. 

“But I want to,” you mumble, taking him in your hand and placing a kiss on the side of his dick. 

Kei’s head falls back against the pillow and he swears under his breath when he feels the warmth of your mouth close around the tip of him. He jerks his head up to see, awestruck by the way your lips look around the head of his cock. 

For some reason, Kei is already so sensitive. He feels everything, and when you swipe the tip of your tongue along his slit as you bob your head, he makes a noise he didn’t think he could make. His fingers knot themselves in the bed sheets, white knuckled and trembling while you bob your head over him. 

Your mouth is so warm and wet. It’s a little messy, dripping down the length of him and onto his balls. Kei feels the warmth, the heat of you. He can still taste you on his tongue. Kei can still feel the stickiness left behind from your arousal on his mouth. The combination of you between his legs and the taste of you on his tongue is overwhelming. 

Kei can feel his orgasm growing in his lower stomach, turning over until he’s bringing his long fingers to your head in an effort to steady himself. There’s nothing he can do but give in, watching you through damp eyes as you watch his expression. 

It’s embarrassing how quickly he cums. It doesn’t take long and he teeters on the edge for a few moments before fully cresting over. Kei can’t help the way he lifts his hips from the mattress, his voice caught in his throat as it hooks on a high pitched groan. His voice cracks and he feels the way his cum collects on your tongue and across the tip of his dick in your mouth. 

“Fuck,” he mutters, red faced and panting, “I didn’t mean to- I didn’t mean to finish so quickly, you’re just-” 

“It’s fine,” you come up, your eyes glassed over and lust-filled. “I like making you feel good.” 

“Yeah but-” 

“No buts,” you crawl over him and straddle his waist. Kei winces when your weight briefly nudges his cock. “There’s still fun to be had. Can I kiss you?” 

He nods and you lean down to do as you’d asked. Your tongue moves slowly against his, less desperate this time, like you’re trying to work him down and back up again. You place your hands on his chest, settling your weight down so that your bare cunt is pressed against his sensitive cock. Kei thinks he might die. 

He brings his hands to your waist, the fatigue creeping from his bones as he digs the pads of his fingers into your fleshy sides. You draw in a breath when he does and it makes Kein feel like he’s tipping sideways with arousal. Everything that you do, right down to the involuntary twitch of your hips or eyebrows, is sexy. 

Kei turns you over, growing hard between your legs again, and gently pins you to the mattress. He kisses you for a moment longer, his lips working clumsily across yours before he pulls away to catch his breath and find his bearings. 

You chase him with your mouth, tilting your head up to kiss him. Kei feels his chest swell with arousal and his cock strains almost painfully against his pants as he peers at you. You’re so pretty. Everything about you is so pretty. On his chest, he can feel your fingers, splayed over his pecks, across his collarbone, and grazing the side of his neck. He leans closer, loving the pressure of your body and the desperation that pours from your skin. 

Kei kisses you again. He kisses you the way he wanted to outside, dipping his tongue into your mouth with a desperation that he can taste. You take control back, reaching between the two of you, and Kei shifts himself upward instinctually to give you access to him. He feels your fingers fumble for him and there’s a pause in which Kei doesn’t know what to do. He wonders if this might be the part of him that you like. The awkward part, the one that doesn’t know what to do. Kei’s thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of your hand wrapping around him and tugging upward. 

His head drops and a low groan escapes his lips before he can even think to stop it. Kei’d almost forgotten his sensitivity, how desperately he wants to be touched, how overwhelming it feels. He shivers, looking down at where your hand wraps around him and pumps. When he looks back up, he finds that you’re looking at his face, your eyes glassed over and observant as you commit all of his expressions to memory. 

“What?” he says, letting out a shuddering breath and the slight overstimulation. 

“Your face is red,” you reach up with your free hand to run your thumb along his cheek. 

Kei huffs, dropping his head and you fiddle with something between the two of you.

“No,” you pick his chin up. “I like it. It’s cute.” 

You tighten your grip around him and Kei feels his expression twist, a new rush of heat and desire flooding his belly as he realizes you’re sliding a condom onto him. Then, you guide the tip of him between your legs and he feels the wet press of your entrance against him. 

“Christ,” he groans. 

You smile slightly, shifting your hips a little and then placing your hands on his shoulders. Kei pushes forward slowly, his thighs twitching. It takes everything he has to keep from cumming again and every muscle in his body screams with a desire to let go. 

Kei is so overwhelmed, partially because you feel so good, but also because there is some part of him that knows this feels different. Kei feels different about you, about being intimate with you, than he has with anyone else. There’s something alive in him, something with its own mind. Something greedy and vulnerable that stirs when your face is this close to him, when he’s buried all the way in you to the base of his cock. Emotional and sensitive, Kei feels it kick. 

His first instinct is to run. Agreeing to let himself like you, to let himself do something about it, was not agreeing to letting something live inside of him. Kei’s first thought when he registers the difference is to cut it off and suffocate it so that it stops thumping against his chest. He’d grown so used to the hollow feeling that the feeling of living emotion makes him nervous, it puts him on edge. But when he pulls out a few inches and fucks back into you, the anxiety dispels into insurmountable pleasure. A pleasure Kei can’t describe, something fulfilling and whole. 

He picks up his pace, letting himself do what he wants while you grip his shoulders with blunted nails. He likes the expression you wear. Truthfully, he likes all of your expressions, but this one is new. Pressure and pleasure, a newness to the feel of him inside of you that you can’t quite keep from your eyes or lips. He kisses you as if he could taste it, slipping his tongue between your lips. 

“I really like you,” you mumble against his mouth, breath hot as it fans across his cheeks. 

Kei’s heart hammers and his hips stutter a little. 

“Me too,” he chokes, trying to think about volleyball to stave off a second orgasm. All that comes to mind though, is you. 

“Are you close again?” you breathe, voice laden with pleasure. 

“I have been since we started,” Kei admits. 

“Cum then,” you say softly, reaching behind his head to pull his mouth back to yours. Kei likes the control you exhibit. He groans his approval.

“You first,” he mutters.

There’s this possessive part of Kei that wants to watch you fall apart on him. He wants to see it, to watch you feel good too and commit it to memory so that he can always keep it. He thinks it’s a pride thing, something attached to his desire to succeed, to his reliability. Maybe though, it’s just because he thinks it’ll look hot. 

He reaches down and lifts one of your legs up by the back of your knee, pressing it down to give himself better access. You whine and Kei feels the way you clench down around him, your fingers knitting into the hair at the back of his neck. It hurts in a good way. 

Kei slips his hand between you, rubbing circles on your clit to get you there faster. Frankly, he doesn’t know how much longer he can last like this, staring down at your face while it twists with pleasure. You’re so attractive to him. Everything about you is sexy. It makes Kei a little crazy. 

He listens as your breathing quickens, as your voice wavers further. He feels the way your cunt begins to flutter faster, pulsing around him until you attempt to cry out and warn him. Then, you clamp down around him, arching your hips up off the mattress and pulling at his hair. Kei moves his head with you, relishing in the way you tug and scratch. 

He builds up to his orgasm so fast that it hurts. There’s pressure and then the mounting feeling of nearing the top, and then the peak and crash. He cums so hard that it hurts, pushing his cock as far as it will go into you and feeling the warm spill of his cum in the condom. He moans a long, drawn out sound that you mimic, his fingers knitting into the pillow behind you and his head dropping so that his lips sit near your neck.

He lets out a shaky breath, letting himself sit inside of you for a moment. You turn his head towards yours and kiss him. It’s gentle. A smooth and languid kiss that neither of you moves to deepen. Your lips move against each other and Kei closes his eyes to savor the taste. 

You tap his shoulder and Kei rolls over onto the bed beside you, snapping the condom off with a small wince and tying it up in a quick motion. He places it in the trash bin beside the bed. When he turns over, you’re already moving to slip under his arm, resting your head on his chest. 

There’s a passing moment of silence, not unlike the ones you both have fallen into before and you sigh lightly against his exposed chest. Kei follows suit, watching the way you move with his breath. 

His skin is sticky against yours and Kei can vaguely register the smell of sweat in the room. He doesn’t know how long it’s been since everyone left, nor does he know when they’ll be back, but he estimates that it won’t be more than an hour. Kei briefly wishes that he could pause time so that he can stay here with you, just like this. 

“I’m not good at this kind of stuff,” Kei admits quietly. 

“What stuff?” You ask, tracing your finger along the ridges of his lean abdomen. 

“Liking people,” he says. “Dating.” 

You give a small laugh. “No offense, Kei, but I could tell that from the moment I met you.” 

“Shit, seriously?” 

“Duh,” you breathe out. “It’s a little charming to me, though. I like that part of you.” 

So it’s true. You like the parts of Kei that he’s always worried were the worst of him. 

“Huh,” he says. “Could you tell?” 

“That you like me?” You ask, shifting your head to look at him. “Yeah, it was obvious after we established that you didn’t hate me. I always noticed you staring in the library.” 

“Really? I thought I was being a little slick with that,” Kei feels heat and color flood his face. 

You let out a good-natured laugh. “People can always tell when someone’s staring, Kei. It’s like a sixth sense.” 

“Good to know. Hindsight is 20/20 and all.” 

Another bout of silence follows. 

“You can keep staring though,” you say, “if you want to. And calling.”

“Okay,” Kei responds, “I didn’t really plan on stopping.” 

“Ha, freaky,” you laugh a little and Kei reaches up to flick the side of your head. “Wanna start going out?” 

Kei thinks about this for a moment. He thinks about being able to hold your hand, brush hair out of your face, watch movies on the couch and fix your breakfast the next morning. Then he thinks about not being able to do those things. 

“I think I’d be a little upset if we didn’t,” he admits. 

“Good,” you say. “Me too.” 

He’s fighting off sleep. His eyelids are heavy and he tries to blink away the shroud of rest that’s falling over him. Kei knows you’re fighting it too. Your breathing goes in and out of that familiar breathing that comes with sleep. Kei likes the way it sounds coming from you, restful and quiet. 

“We should… really get up to clean just a little,” he mumbles. 

“Five more minutes,” you say softly, your voice heavy and laden with drowsiness. 

“Okay,” he says. 

It’s just five more minutes. Kei fights sleep to hear you breathe like this a little longer. 

—

There’s a period after which Kei doesn’t know what to do with himself. Like the awkward start to a new hobby or passion, Kei finds himself enthralled with his budding relationship while simultaneously stumbling continuously along the way. You’re gracious with him though, letting him make mistakes and fumble until he finds his footing. 

It’s all very awkward for him, very new. He finds that it’s easier to just do the nice things he wants to do for you than to agonize over it and slowly, he begins to grow comfortable in the relationship that took you both so long to begin. 

At first, only Tadashi knew about you both. Kei thought that there was no point in hiding it from him, since you were over at the apartment all the time. Of course, Tadashi somehow already knew. That’s how it usually goes anyway, and Kei is relieved to find that his internal change did not trigger some global shift that would turn his life upside down. Everything is normal, save for the fact that Kei now tries to love without hindrance. 

Kei discovers that he’s possessive. That’s a new trait of his that he didn’t know belonged to him. Before you, before Kei had found something he so desperately wanted to keep, he’d been rather detached. Possessiveness was rare because Kei hardly ever got attached enough to want. Now though, he wants so badly that it hurts. You lean into it. Kei suspects that you like it when he wards off people who hit on you, when he pouts a little because he wants to be close to you, when he gets a little jealous. Kei doesn’t really mind it either. After all, despite his possessiveness, he never feels insecure. The both of you make sure of that. 

This sunny period with you, the one Kei worried would only last a week, drifts easily from one month into two and before he knows it, it’s been five. Kei had worried about that fundamental change. The one imperceivable to the human eye. He’d worried that slowly, it would begin to spoil what is so good between the two of you. 

“Kei,” you snap him out of it, placing a hand on his shoulder, “you okay?” 

He sets down his cup of tea, barely touched. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet?” You give him a wry smile. “This was your idea, after all.” 

“Yeah, well it was a pretty shit idea actually,” he breathes, “My parents aren’t exactly easy.” 

“You want to cancel?” You ask, your eyebrows pulling up in a clumsy attempt to hide your disappointment. Kei can see right through it.

“No,” he shakes his head. “I want you to meet them. I just don’t want you to meet them.” 

The truth of it is that Kei would like to cancel. In an ideal world, one where the sun rises on the opposite side of his bedroom window, he’d forget the whole thing and take you out to get dinner and see a movie. Things would be simpler that way, less uncomfortable for the both of you. But as uncomfortable as it is, Kei wants you to be a part of their lives too. You’re too important to not introduce to his parents and Kei can’t see it any other way, though he’d like to. 

You snort. “What does that even mean?” 

Kei gives you a pointed and somewhat irritated look. 

“Okay, sorry,” you raise your hands defensively and walk over to place them on his shoulders. “I know you’re worried, but I think it’s going to be okay. I’m excited.” 

Kei huffs out a laugh, unable to vocalize his nerves in their totality. “Excited to meet my dysfunctional, divorced parents that kind of hate each other?” 

“Yup. I’m excited to meet the people who raised you.” 

Kei smiles a little. “You should meet Akiteru, then,” It’s an exaggeration, but for some reason the prospect of seeing both of his parents together has him feeling a little more bitter than usual, even if it was his idea. 

You give him a little grin through narrowed eyes. There’s an understanding that passes from you to him, like you’re acknowledging that you haven’t forgotten what he’d told you nearly six months ago. Kei feels the tension in his shoulders relax a little. 

His parents are already at the restaurant when he arrives. It’s a swanky Italian place. The kind you go to on birthdays or for anniversaries, where the pasta dishes are things like lobster mushroom ravioli or truffle oil fettucini in tiny portions. Kei made sure to book somewhere that his parents would have trouble making a scene in, not that they ever had much of a mind for decorum when they were married. He’s surprised to find them chatting cordially when you both arrive. 

“Kei,” his mother stands from the table and crosses to give him a hug. He pats her back gently.

“Hi Mom,” Kei responds and she gives him a small smile. 

Kei’s dad adjusts the lapel of his suit, the same one he’s had for years, and reaches to give him a hug around one shoulder. 

“Guys,” he inhales, “This is my partner, _____.” 

You grin at Kei and then introduce yourself formally to his parents. Kei watches in awe as you blend right in, like you’ve known them for many years. He sits down while trying to keep the nerves from his face. 

“We’re so happy to meet you,” his mother starts, “Kei’s never introduced us to any of his partners before.” 

“I’m the first?” You smile a little, raising an eyebrow at Kei as if to tease him. 

“There really haven’t been that many to begin with,” Kei grumbles as if that somehow makes it better. 

You laugh again and the ball of conversation begins rolling. His mother tells you how pretty you are and his father nods a quieter approval. They talk about his university’s graduation ceremony, which they attended separately, as if they were together the entire time and then ask about your major, if you graduated with him, where you plan on going. You tell them what you want to do and that you want to go wherever Kei goes. He marvels at how smoothly the evening moves onward.

There are moments where the tension in his family becomes obvious. Little swells or comments that bring up a sour or shameful memory that cannot be ignored. Moments when the air thickens and it feels like the hammer is about to come down. It never does though. The tension, rather than snapping, simply fades away. 

He’d expected everything to blow up for some reason. Kei had expected that, like his childhood, the restaurant dishes would end up smashed on the floor. The glassware always ended up broken in the house, why shouldn’t they be broken here to shatter the illusion of things being good? He braces himself for a ball that never drops.

It takes him until the ride home, after a successful dinner, to realize that the dishes haven’t been smashed in years. Not since he was fourteen and his parents fought for custody. Not since his mother got remarried to her now husband almost 6 years ago and his father met his new wife. Kei wonders why he still feels like he lives in that house. The one his parents were at their worst in. Why can’t he feel like he lives in the apartment he rents with Tadashi? 

“I think that went well,” you say softly on the drive back. 

Kei nods his agreement. “I think so too.” 

You don’t bring up the fact that they didn’t fight, or that they spoke about their new kids with each other as if they were old friends. You don’t accuse Kei of being wrong, of being paranoid even though he most definitely was. 

“I’m glad that I got to meet them,” you say. “You look so much like your mom.” 

“Really?” Kei asks. 

“Yeah, you’ve got her eyes and her nose,” you smile a little. “It makes you two look similar.” 

“Huh,” he says. “I never really gave that much thought.” 

Kei turns the idea that he has his mother’s face over in his head. He’d spent so much time dreading that he was like them on the inside, that he never paused to consider the outside. So much of his life has been spent worrying that he’s just like them. That he breaks the plates and lashes out and acts cruelly even when he’s trying to love. But he has his mother’s eyes and for some reason that unsettles him. It’s like evidence. 

“You don’t really act like them though,” you say as if on cue. “You’re a little gentler.” 

“Me? Gentle?” Kei scoffs. 

“Yeah!” you say. “I mean, sure you’re prickly, but there’s a goodness to you that’s really obvious if you look.” 

Goodness. What a strange word to use to describe someone. Kei thinks that if there’s any goodness in him, if there’s anything that hasn’t been tainted by his parents’ sour personalities, it’s from Akiteru. Kei likes to believe that whatever good he got was from him. No matter how strained his relationship with him might be now, Kei is certain of that. 

“That’s a relief,” he admits in a flat tone. 

After a long pause, he speaks again. “Thanks.” 

“For what?” You laugh. 

“Bearing with me… and with them,” he says. “Couldn’t have been easy.” 

“It was easy,” you say. “Because I wanted to meet them. And I care about you.” 

Kei feels color rise to his cheeks. He turns to look in the sideview mirrors as he pulls the car into a parking spot in his apartment complex’s garage. 

“You say that stuff so easily,” he huffs. 

“What? That I care about you?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Well, I do,” you laugh a little.

Kei’s face grows hotter and he distracts himself by putting the car into park and taking the key out of the ignition. 

“Me too,” he says quietly, waiting for you to catch up so that he can take your hand in his. “Sorry that I don’t say it a lot.” 

“Not to be rude,” you say, “but even if you never said it at all, it would be obvious. You’re kind of a sucker.” 

Kei supposes that that’s true and he gives a small laugh before nudging your shoulder with his. The parking garage is humid and stuffy, but he holds your hand in it anyway. 

—

You’re half asleep in bed beside him and your breathing comes in even sweeps the way it does just before you fall asleep. Kei listens to it for a moment, admiring the sound of it and the way your chest feels expanding against his. 

He thinks about dinner, about how good it feels to have introduced you. How real it makes this relationship feel despite the uneasiness surrounding his familial situation. Kei thinks about his parents. He thinks about their inability to be good for each other. He thinks about the worst of them, something he’s familiar with, before thinking about the best of them. Kei imagines the way their faces looked at dinner, talking about the children they’re raising properly. They’re good people, they just made each other bad. Molecular shifts that changed them for the worst. The notebook theory in its most frightening form. But they were good too. 

Kei thinks about loving you. His reluctance to do so originally isn’t quite beyond him yet. He’s unsure, in fact, if he’ll ever really get past the fear of the fall, the fear of becoming what his parents made each other. But he also thinks about his promise to love you for real. Love is not something that Kei does. He knows now that it's something that happens to him, like it happened to his parents. They loved each other once, even if it made them so blind that they couldn’t see just how bad it made them. 

Kei still resents the fact that he was born to fix a marriage that never would have worked in the first place. He resents being a fix rather than a gift, but at the very least, his existence is proof that his parents cared enough about their family to try. Even if it was misguided, at least they tried even a little. 

In the quiet after of an emotionally charged evening, loving you seems like an easier task for him now. It’s not hard to love you. What’s hard, Kei thinks, is not hurting you. He carries a lot of baggage that, for a long while, felt like too much. Kei thinks he can manage if it’s for you. He’ll bear the brunt of it. He’ll put in the work. 

Yes, Kei is his parents’ son, but he’s also Tadashi’s friend, Akiteru’s brother, the person who loves you. He doesn’t live in the house with a bin full of shards and no glassware anymore. 

“Are you awake?” He whispers across the pillow. 

“Mhm,” you hum, pushing your cheek into his arm.

“Let’s move in together,” he says. 

You tense against him and slowly attempt to blink away sleep. “Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he responds. “I want to live with you.” 

“Okay then,” you smile a little. “Let’s do it.” 

—

In the fall, when his lease with Tadashi ends and his friend gives him a tearful, yet somewhat silly goodbye, Kei moves into your new shared apartment. Two small rooms in a modest part of town, a shared kitchen and living room, one bathroom, a mismatch of furniture from both of your old places, and an empty fridge. The first night is spent eating take out on the floor with you in front of a TV with no proper stand. Kei has never been happier. 

And in the morning, when the sun comes through the slats of his window, broken up into gentle dots by the orange-leaved trees outside, Kei rises slowly. He rises gently. Kei doesn’t want to wake you, not before he’s made breakfast. He pads out to the kitchen, where boxes are strewn about, half unpacked, and grabs the little brown notebook from the box it’s been temporarily living in. In it, he writes a grocery list full of the things you like. It’s a good enough reason, a good enough change. 

The notebook theory. 

[hyeque]

strawberry shortcake [tsukishima kei][nsfw]

synopsis: you let kei act out his wildest fantasies for his birthday

warnings: manhandling, cunninglius, food play, breast worship, kei being a dick (wow), mild hair pulling, choking

notes: this isn't as long due to time constraints (update: i lied, at the time i wrote this it wasn't but now it is), but it would be illegal for me not to write anything for my tsukkipoo's bday, so happy bday to one of like 4 of my main 2D husbands 🫶🏾💗 honestly i don’t know what this is

word count: 3.6kei

tsukishima never really considered his birthday to be a big deal, but when adding you to the equation, the man definitely can't lie and say he doesn't look forward to the occasion now.

from the minute it was midnight, you had made it everyone's—including kei's—personal problem that it was his birthday. with the way you got ecstatic about it, it's hard to be convinced that it's not your birthday.

tsukishima never bothered with asking you about plans, because every time he does, you never say. no matter how hard he pries or tries to bait you, you don't give in. it's irritating but admirable, he must admit.

so as he heads home that day from work (because adult mundane things don't stop for your birthday, of course) he's not sure what to expect. he had gotten a ton of messages from his team group insinuating you'll give him the best birthday sex ever, but he never really is one to entertain locker room talk persay. and even more truthfully, all of his lewd thoughts about you should only be reserved for him and him only.

he doesn't hear or see you when coming into your shared apartment. after calling out for you, he only hears small giggles from your shared bedroom and makes his way there.

to say he is pleasantly surprised is an understatement. throughout all the birthday messages and well wishes he'd gotten earlier today, he couldn't stop focusing on the meaning of your words from before he left that morning. a, "i look forward to seeing you later" and that was it. he will admit he was a bit grumpy you hadn't texted him throughout his day.

but he forgets all of that and nearly drops his work phone out of his hands when seeing the sight in front of him.

"happy birthday, kei."

you sit on the bed, naked and with nothing but two wrapped presents on your lap. a red ribbon adorns your neck, implying you're also a gift. on a tray only about a foot away from you is strawberry shortcake made just for him, along with his favorite meal (not you, specifically actual food—sorry to disappoint the audience).

if he were a horny and uncontrollable animal like his teammates, he'd send a picture of you joking about how right they all were, but he doesn't feel like it. he knows the scratch marks you'll put on his back will make up for everything he doesn't say to his team now.

it's silent as he stares at you and you start to feel small under his gaze. and unfortunately...he's not your normal everyday boyfriend. he's prickly and sometimes he shouldn't say things he doesn't mean, but he can't help himself sometimes. he doesn't always like to grant you the reactions you're hoping for immediately. sometimes he does things just to rile you up.

"you really think that just having sex with you would suffice as a good birthday present?" he asks, pushing his frames up his face. he moves so he's sitting on the bed in front of you, calculating eyes not letting you see more of his emotions than he wants.

you frown, rolling your eyes. not a hi, not a hello. nothing. "and you're saying it won't?"

kei knows his sharp tongue can easily get him in more trouble, and believe me, reader, when i say the last thing he wants to do—especially in this moment—is make you upset.

you slam down both presents in front of him, distracting him from his thoughts. "in case your thick head didn't know, i still got you an actual present."

once examining the gift you got him, his eyes soften as it was something he briefly mentioned once awhile ago. he didn't even think you remembered. the second gift was a framed photo of the two of you from your first ever date. you both were a little bit more shy and awkward then, but the memories it holds outweighed any of that.

he becomes quiet, feeling the heat from his face become scorching hot before he looks down at you with soft eyes now.

"thank you. i really appreciate it." he squeezes your hand three times before leaning down and placing a chaste kiss to your lips. your anger from earlier slightly subsides but you still feel slightly embarrassed and move to get up and change into clothes.

kei blocks you, a smirk creeps to his face. "but...i really appreciate you more..." he yanks you by the leg, pulling your body towards the edge of the bed.

"w-what are you doing?" you squeal, looking up at him with widened eyes.

"having dessert." he answers, his eyes focused on your glistening folds. his mouth is drooling at this point.

you try to speak but nothing but sputters come out of your mouth. "h-hey mister, your dessert is over—" you're cut off by a surprise moan escaping you as kei wraps his mouth over your lower region, all thoughts of a smart reply gone from your mind.

"one—it's sir to you, and two—for the record, you taste better than any strawberry shortcake, shortcake." he grins, moving to lap at your cunt again.

your mouth drops open into a gasp, and you move your hips back against his face shamelessly. "y-you said you didn't want sex as a present."

he tsks, rolling his eyes. "i didn't say that. i simply asked you a question earlier. which then, if you were my only gift"—he smacks the fat of your ass playfully, making you yelp—"i'd be stupid not to be grateful."

'damn right', you want to say, but settle on, "y-you're so...irritating..." you huff, fingers digging into the bedsheets as he laves over your insides like a starved man.

"hey—you're supposed to be nice to me, it's my birthday." he taunts, smirk gracing his (annoyingly) handsome face.

"i'll be nice to you alright—" you whine once the feeling of his fingers come into play, "god—you—" your words become choked up as two thick digits move inside of you.

"kei is just fine," he smiles, ravishing in the squelching mess that is your cunt. the sounds and smell of you are driving him absolutely insane, but he doesn't want you to know that just yet.

your legs are trembling and you both hate and love how easy it is for him to get you like this. your skin is covered with a thin layer of sweat and you whimper, looking up at your boyfriend in awe. he's removed his glasses and his hair is disheveled from a long day at work. you didn't know it was possible for someone to be this hot while eating you out.

and so it doesn't take long before your release approaches and you're shudder with euphoria as you decline from your high.

"good girl," he hums, pleased with you cumming all over his face.

tsukishima's large hands toy with the ribbon around your neck. you recognize the calculating look in his eyes and shiver, wondering what he's thinking.

"since you're my present, i get to do whatever i want with you, right?" he asks, his golden brown eyes meeting yours.

"y-yes..." you stutter, hands resting uncertainly on his broad shoulders. he senses your nervousness and only leans down to kiss you. you sigh, leaning into him, body practically straddling him. you grind up against his thigh, your cunt rubbing deliciously over the hard muscle.

"dirty girl..." he grunts, shoving his thigh further against you. he knows you must be soaking wet down there. he'll worry about his pants and dry cleaning later.

"kei..." you murmur, resting your head on his shoulder. your hands pull at his sweater, "off, take this off."

"didn't know you were in position to make such demands..." he tsks, leaning back to take off the sweater. you never get tired of seeing him. of how lean and toned he is. his porcelain skin is going be tainted by the time you're done with him tonight.

moving over tsukishima wordlessly, you kiss down his jaw and neck, nipping and biting playfully at the skin. you run your hands over his chest and stomach, admiring the refined muscle and how it ripples under your touch. soft moans leave him and his skin flushes a rose pink. he tugs you off, laying you back on the sheets.

his eyes move and land on the strawberry shortcake and he—much to your dismay—grabs a glob with his bare hand. before you can complain about your ruined masterpiece, he looks to you with a glint in his eyes.

"i knew this cake was missing something..." he murmurs as he smears the food onto your breasts and stomach, "one ingredient that's rare, and only available to one person."

you feel your face burn as he looks at you mischievously.

pinching your cheek with his clean hand he coos, "i'm so lucky i don't have to share that ingredient with anyone else, aren't i?"

"i'm going to be all sticky after this," you whine, grimacing from the thought.

"sure, but it won't be from the cake." kei quips, making you slap his chest.

the hand you use to hit him is easily pinned to the bed. he laves his mouth along your neck, sucking up the cake into his mouth. you gasp quietly, feeling his teeth nip playfully at your skin every now and then.

"fuck, kei..." you whimper.

"i think this is a much more efficient way to eat, don't you agree?" he hums mouth moving down to your collarbone. the marks left behind from his handiwork please him but make him all the more greedy at the same time. "every part of your body is sweet just like this cake."

you whimper, arching your back up into him as the tender skin of your breasts is sucked on, his mouth not hesitating to leave bruises in his path. with the way he kisses and licks your skin, you truly feel worshipped. especially when he makes it his agenda to kiss every square inch of you. he ends his ministrations with kisses on your cunt, causing you to jerk from sensitivity of cumming earlier.

"don't think i can go back to eating strawberry shortcake normally after that." he admits and you laugh before sitting up.

you crawl to the tent in his pants, hands moving to undo his belt but hear a sound of displeasure.

"no time." he swat your hand away from his crotch. you pout until he pulls himself out from his confines, his cock slapping his stomach as he steps out of his pants and boxers.

he's leaking an evident amount of pre and you wonder what universe you had to be put in to not be able to suck him off in this moment.

he kneels between your body, stroking himself but making no urgent move to line up with your hole. he seems to enjoy your squirming and smirks at the look of frustration on your face.

"you look hot when you're desperate like this." he says, gripping himself just a little tighter at how vulnerable you look before him.

your body jerks when you feel the head of his cock brush against your cunt. the feeling dissolves but then he repeats the same motion again.

"kei i swear if you don't put it in—"

"then what?" he challenges, only running his tip over your folds once more.

"is it really a crime to want to see you cry for my cock?" he asks, slapping his shaft against you. "it's my birthday so you have to do as i say now. so tell me how much you want it."

when he's met with silence, he raises a brow, wondering why you aren't speaking. "did you not hear me? or are you already too dumb to speak? i haven't even fucked you yet."

his large hand slides up to the column of your throat and a gasp of surprise leaves you. "you're acting kind of bratty right now, and i don't like it. i don't even think you deserve my cock."

you protest, "wait! please! i—"

he taps his chin, "but that's a problem for both of us, isn't it?" he grunts, probing his tip at your entrance, pressing the tip in, but not moving any further. one move and you could have him inside of you easily, but you don't dare defy him. he'll just get more upset.

he continues, "because you won't believe how badly i want to be buried in this tight cunt. but i could just fuck my fist or your mouth and call it a day—"

"n-no! i don't want that!" you blurt.

he grabs your jaw, a stern look on his face. "this isn't about what you want, baby. it's about listening and behaving to what i want. now what do you say?"

your head bows and shame swallows you whole. "please, sir. please fuck me like you mean it."

the look on kei's face suggests that he isn't exactly pleased, and the click of his tongue confirms. "i think you can beg better than that, shortcake. you've cried harder over cuddling* than getting fucked."

"that's not—" you bite your lip when his glare falls on you, "sir please! i promise i'll be good! i'll do everything you say, i swear!"

call him a sadist but it isn't until he sees tears brimming your eyes does he fully sheath himself into. the motion makes you gasp, and your voice is suddenly lost due to the feeling of him.

"see, now this, is a birthday gift." he says, breathing shaking as your insides envelope him. you always invite him in so easily, that's how he knows his cock is made for you, and your cunt is made for him.

"k-kei..." you stutter, the fullness making your senses heightened.

"always feel like i'm celebrating something when i'm in you." he huffs, his face flush as he squeezes his eyes shut. "god, you always feel too good..."

the slow clap of his hefty balls against your ass begins to fill the room. he thinks you look pretty with the look of ecstasy on your face right now as his cock hits all of the parts of you that make your toes curl.

"creaming all over my cock like this, you might be the best present i've ever had." he grunts, moving his hand to play with your clit. "so pretty like this..."

and just like he knows, your nails dig into his back, gently but thoroughly scraping at his skin as he pounds into you. it takes everything in him to not cum right there and then. you find yourself babbling his name, chanting it and telling him how good he feels.

his mouth is moving over all parts of you to taste and lick the cake he missed from before. he groans something about you tasting sweeter today especially.

you don't get a chance to warn kei about your creeping orgasm, and just lock your legs around him as it all comes crashing down over you. he groans, nearly losing his composure as your cunt milks him. he swears before pulling out of you, flipping the two of you so that your body is on top of him.

"be a good present and ride me." he says, smacking your ass.

you waste no time and scramble to adjust yourself. your legs are still trembling when you sink back down on him but you can careless. you both groan, stilling for a moment, as you stare at each other. he laces his hand with yours and squeezes it again.

once accommodating the full and new feeling from the angle you're at, you slowly move on him.

"oh fuck." he hisses, head falling back against the pillows. you place your hands on his thighs before leaning back and bouncing yourself. his hands move over you, whispering words of affection and marveling you in his own quiet and loving way.

"god look at you," kei breathes, staring up at you like you're an angel descended from heaven. his mouth falls open slightly and soft moans escape as he watches you.

"always look so fucking beautiful when you ride me like this." he continues, conflicted on if he should lay back and view you or shove his face between his (yes, his because everything about you is his) tits.

as infuriating kei tsukishima can be, there's never a time that he doesn't make you feel so loved, and full of worth and praise. albeit these moments are shared more privately, but you won't trade the image of his half lidded eyes, flush face, and lovesick expression for anything else.

he decides to lay back and is pleasantly surprised when you lean over him anyways, offering the best view of your tits in his face. his large hands move to knead and play with them, then making you shudder and cry out of pleasure when he sucks on them.

"k-kei..." you breathe, voice caught in your throat as you grind down on him, flipping between that and bouncing on his cock. it's almost like your body is possessed in a way. he knows and you know just how cock hungry this man can make you and how your mind resorts to mush.

kei would get on his knees and thank the gods right now if he could just from seeing the sight of you so focused to getting yourself and him off with his dick. and he doesn't want to have it any other kind of way. there's a strange satisfying feeling to being used and he's not opposed to it.

"does it feel good, baby? does my cock make you feel this good? tell me." he ghosts his hands over your hips and groans, watching the sinful way that they move.

"f-fuck, feels so good, kei! i love sitting on your cock!" you whine, tears brimming your eyes. tsukishima feels himself throb in you before moaning again, not caring how desperate he sounds.

"yes, keep fucking me like this, don't stop." he gasps, trying his best to keep his hands from grabbing your hips and fucking up into you how he likes.

he can feel his resolve crumble as he approaches his high. "you're going to let me cum inside you, yeah? like the dirty girl that you are?" he smacks your ass, making you clench sinfully and deliciously on him.

you nod rapidly, nails digging into his ravished porcelain skin. "fuck yes, kei, i want all of it. cum inside of me, please!"

he grins, your whining riling him up as he pounds into you harder. he flips you over again and your legs are thrown over his shoulder and your body pinned down on the bed. everything is so loud and messy, but he's too hyper focused on filling you up to care.

"shit, fuck, i'm gonna cum. i'm going to fill you up so fucking full." he yanks you by your hair and kisses all down your neck. by his erratic breathing you know he's at his peak.

"kei, i'm—!" you gasp, your third orgasm seizing you as your cunt clamps down on him.

"ha—" he chokes, hips stilling and back shuddering as the dam inside of him breaks. the most lewd groan escapes him and you clench harder when feeling the warm of his cum spill into you. the throbbing from him evident as his balls fully empty themselves into you.

barely catching your breath, you reach up and kiss him. his mouth tastes like the cake you made him and you feel your face burn as you taste a hint of yourself as well.

your start to move yourself off of him and he grunts out of displeasure.

"not yet. just want to be in you for a bit longer." he says, hands gripping your hips tightly.

"okay." you respond, leaning down to kiss his face, neck, and collarbone. he shivers at your touch and you feel his cock twitch inside of you once more.

"you're going to start something you can't finish." he complains, pinching your side to get you to stop.

you laugh, hiding your face in his necks. "whatever you say. so...how was your birthday present?"

"i loved it. i'm going to put the photo on my desk at work." he answers, smirking as you bite his ear in warning.

"not that present, dummy." you sit up before gesturing to the bow around your neck.

tsukishima hums, his hand resting on your neck before looking at you.

"absolutely irreplaceable. i couldn't have asked for anything better, and i'm feeling incredibly lucky.

"well i'm glad, birthday boy," your eyes fall back on the food. "are you hungry? do you want more cake?"

"no...but speaking of cake, i just realized something." tsukishima says, playing with your fingers.

you tilt your head. "what?"

"your pussy always tastes the sweetest when i'm dripping out of it." he smiles.

do not copy and or repost. likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated though! (c) 2022 hyeque

[denkithunder]

your melody came to kill us

character: tsukishima kei

wc: 344

Kill Us -Jessie Reyez

But I can't learn my lesson I miss when you were my best friend Before love came to kill us

“Hey, come over. I’m bored.” You mumble out, phone pressed between your cheek and shoulder while you rummage through your fridge, looking for the leftovers of yesterday’s dinner.

“It’s late.” You hear him sign on the other side of the phone, a movie you assume to be Jurassic Park ||| playing in the background.

“Doesn’t matter, sleep over.” You grumble out, annoyed at yourself when you remembered you ate the leftovers for breakfast.

“Can you pick something up on your way over, I’m starving.” You plead as you take the phone in your hand, walking out of the kitchen and towards your room.

“I’m not going.” He sounds annoyed as he pauses the movie, your stomach twists as you realize why. “We talked about this.”

Tears begin to form rapidly and your throat tightens as you sit on your bed, the walls of your bedroom spinning too quickly. You pull your phone away as you wipe the tears that fall, sniffling as quietly as you could before putting your phone on speaker.

“I know.” You scout back on your bed, pulling your feet up to your chest after removing your cow slippers. “But I miss you.”

You wait for him to speak, flinching when you hear his tongue click against his teeth.

“We’ve been best friends since we were kids, Kei. I don’t want to lose my best friend because of whatever happened between us.” You continue to scout back on tour bed, reaching the headboard.

You smile softly, grabbing the dinosaur plushie he’d given you on your 5th birthday. It was a small blue triceratops, in the best condition it could be after nearly two decades.

You smile fondly at the stuffed animal, frowning when you hear his next words.

“We’ve already been through this, it didn’t work out.” He mutters, shuffling around his apartment for a moment.

“I-” You didn’t know what to say but you knew you had to say something so you wouldn’t lose your best friend.

“Tell me how to fix this, how to fix us.”

Can I fix us?

you do not have permission to repost or translate any of my work on here or any other social media

[yenqa]

20191009 I LIKE HER | timeskip!tsukkishima as your boyfriend

♫ – currently playing… mac demarco

warnings – tsukishima is kind of mean, periods, food, mentions of drinking, throwing up/vomiting, jokes of being stabbed in the stomach, profanities

pairing – tsukishima x fem!reader ☆

a/n – hi guys… hope u enjoy !!

yenqa © please do not copy, steal or translate.

[tiza0925]

Idk if you take requests but Hinata,Tsukishima, Or Atsumu with an S/o that has a choking kink?? You can write however you want (u dont have to take this req, if u dont want to) :))

how about all three hq men ♡ i loved this prompt, ty for the request anon 

Wrap your fingers around my neck | 18+

Warnings/Tags: nsfw, afab/female!reader, riding, lap sex, raw sex, kissing, praise kink, creampie, finger sucking, degradation kink, dirty talk, pussy eating, squirting, petnames, fingering, needy!Atsumu, pussy slapping, kitchen counter sex, choking kink ♡ SET IN A TIMELINE WHERE ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED-UP AND OVER 18 YEARS

Pairings:  Hinata Shouyou x Female Reader, Tsukishima Kei x Female Reader, & Miya Atsumu x Female Reader

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Hinata

It was an honest accident. 

Hinata didn’t mean to do it—and you genuinely did not think he would follow along after but—

Hinata always loses himself a little whenever he kisses you. 

He can’t help it. 

Your lips feel so nice and soft against his. You taste so good when he licks his tongue inside your mouth and fuck—the little moans you make against him get his head all hazy, and he just wants his hands all over you—

“Shit,” Hinata murmurs, his breathing a little heavy as he pulls on your lower lip with his mouth, and his hands roam up your thighs, the curve of your hips, the dip of your waist—touching you everywhere while you sit on his lap, straddling him, as he sits up against the bed frame. “So pretty, angel.” 

You let out a shaky breath against his mouth, and you grind your hips towards him—pulling out a hiss from Hinata as his cock moves inside you. 

“Keep going, baby,” Hinata groans when you roll your hips again, and you gasp as his cock hits against your g-spot while your clit rubs against his exposed skin, and you dig your fingers into his broad, muscled shoulders for support. 

“Just like that,” Hinata’s hands are squeezing your ass, holding your hips, grabbing your tits—they’re everywhere and he can’t seem to control it when he’s like this. 

He just loves how you feel under the palm of his hand—maybe just a bit more than a volleyball—and his head is in the clouds as your pussy swallows him so perfectly, taking his thick cock like you always do, that he—

He doesn’t realize that one of his hands has moved further up to graze over your collarbone and shoulders. 

He’s too busy focusing on how sinful your tongue feels gliding against his. 

How your pussy is so damn wet—you’re dripping all over his dick—and god, you’re tight, that he’s so close to exploding—

Hinata doesn’t realize that his hand is near your neck—your skin is so soft and nice under his hand that everywhere feels the same—

It’s why he mindlessly circles his fingers around the base of your neck when his palm is there—he just needs his entire hand to feel you.

And you suck in a sharp breath as the feel of long, strong, and thick fingers curl around your throat—so hot and firm—and that’s Hinata freezes. 

Shit. 

He’s ready to apologize profusely—his fingers are already beginning to uncurl from your neck—because he didn’t mean to hold you that way but—

But then he hears you let out a moan—small, shaky, and wanting—and you buck your hips up against him, kissing him more feverishly, causing Hinata’s eyes to droop and roll back, a small groan ripping out of him when he realizes—

You liked that. 

“Yeah?” Hinata breathes out in response to your moan, and his fingers stay where they are—just a little hesitant with the pressure—as you ride him, your lashes fluttering as his heavy hand sits around your throat. “You liked that, didn’t you?” 

You nod, eyelids feeling heavy, and Hinata lets loose a low breath, shaking his head and smirking as he kisses you, murmuring against your red lips. “Should’ve told me you like that sooner, baby.” 

Because now that he knows you like having his hand around your throat like that—

“Would’ve made that pretty little head of yours all dizzy a long time ago,” Hinata rolls his hips up as he says that, shoving his cock a little deeper until you swear you feel it in your guts, causing you to gasp with a wet moan, and he puts a little more pressure on the sides of your neck with the pads of his finger—his eyes focused on yours. “Is that okay, angel?” 

More than okay—fuck, your head feels a little more light-headed now. 

You can still breathe, but the pressure around your throat brings out a blurry fog around the edges of your vision, and your cunt clenches around Hinata’s cock—making him groan—as your fluids leak out, getting him all wet and messy from how heated you are. 

It’s so overwhelming and you love it. 

You nod, moving your hips in tandem with his—languid rolls as his dick rubs your g-spot over and over, bringing you higher and tighter and hotter for your orgasm—

“Good girl,” Hinata praises, breathless, and uses his hold around your throat to pull you in closer—letting him kiss you like he’s greedy for your mouth as he licks and sucks and nips until you feel all woozy from it—then he moves to brush his mouth against the shell of your ear, his voice throaty as he pushes his hips up. “Can you cum for me like this, baby?”

Your pussy throbs around the girth of him when you feel his fingers press against the sides of your throat a little more, his hold around the most vulnerable part of you feeling possessive like he can own you if he wanted to. 

And you trust him enough to give it if he asks.

Your lips part with soft breaths being punched out with every buck of his hips, fucking you to make your mind melt, and he grazes his teeth against your earlobe—your heart leaping in your throat when he gently squeezes your neck, testing it until you moan in approval, losing yourself to how full you feel from his dick. “I want you to make a mess, angel, you always look so pretty when you do.” 

God—

It only takes a few more pumps of his cock inside you, your walls sucking him in, while your puffy clit rubs against your stomach until your orgasm ripples through you—your mouth hanging open with a silent moan as you gush around Hinata’s cock, legs tensing and back arching as your vision goes blurry and white as he keeps his hands where they are. “Fuck—so good for me, baby, look at you—”

He fucks you through it, nearing his orgasm as you pulse around him, and Hinata cums with a guttural groan—sticky cum spurting into your plush walls—

And his hand stays around your throat the entire time—holding and pinning you in place just the way you like it. 

Tsukishima

It’s not news to him that you like the feeling of his hand around your throat. 

He’s been playing around with the idea for a while, now, whenever he’s touching you—just in subtle ways. 

Whenever he kisses you, he places his hand just above your collarbone—not fully on your neck, but the tease is there—and slots his lips between yours with a sigh. 

Or it’s when you two are out in public and it’s a little too busy and you easily become lost in the crowd—Tsukishima guides you with his hand wrapping delicately against your nape, keeping you close while he has you in his hold. 

He always picked up on the way you reacted whenever he touched you there. 

How blown your pupils would get. 

How your breath would hitch with your lips parting with a small intake of breath. 

How dazed you would look in the eyes—making him feel just a little smug about finding out a little secret about you that he definitely plans to use one night. 

It’s when he’s got you lying on the bed all pretty for him—looking up at him with starry eyes as he pumps two of his fingers in and out of your drenched pussy—with his other hand caressing your cheek, his thumb teasing your lower lip. 

And he’s smirking down at you—in his usual lackadaisical way— with one of his knees sitting between your bent legs as he presses the pad of his thumb down onto your lower lip to pry your mouth open. “You always need something to suck on, don’t you?”

He teases you, his voice low and mirthful, and all it does is make your pussy clench as you moan—rolling your tongue out to flick it at his thumb before wrapping your warm mouth around it, your cheeks hollowing as you give his thumb a slow, indulgent suck.

“Shit,” It’s the way you keep eye contact with him as your head moves, leaving his thumb shiny with your saliva as you suck it, that sends heat down to his cock, making him feel light in the head. “You’re a needy little thing, you know.” 

You make a sound that’s similar to a moan around his thumb, and your eyes flutter, going half-mast, as you bob your head and swirl your tongue around his thumb as if it was his cock instead. 

And Tsukishima can’t help it—you look so desperate like this, your back arching against his hovering body, looking up at him so obediently, with your tits all perked up and nipples pert and pretty as you leak all over his hand—

It’s filthy and you—

“A perfect little slut,” Tsukishima lets those words slip out, a groan in his throat, and you choke a little with a whimper when you feel him press his thumb into your mouth a bit deeper, affection lacing his rather filthy words.

And you moan—low and wanting—when you hear him call you that, and Tsukishima can’t help but chuckle darkly as he leans in a little closer, his head tilting almost mockingly as he watches you with desire and affection. “Yeah?”

He curls his fingers to rub your spongey g-spot, his palm pressing against your swollen little clit for friction that sends heat up your tummy and chest. “You like being a little slut for me, sweetheart?” 

Fuck. 

“Looking like the mess that you are just because of me,” Tsukishima hums, his voice low. “You can hear just how soaked you are, you know.” 

You whine around his thumb as your orgasm balances at the edge—ready to combust with how tight your muscles feel—and you nod. 

God—you’re too perfect for him. 

He can’t help the small smile that threatens to creep up on him, trying to focus on making you cum—for the second time tonight—on his fingers before he finally fucks you the way you both need him to and—

And then his eyes widen a little, turning more amorous when his eyes briefly flit down to your exposed throat—

“…You can get a little more messy for me, right baby?” It’s not a question. 

Just a warning worded more sweetly. 

Because before you even get a chance to respond to him—

You feel his thumb slip out of your mouth—making a wet popping sound with your spit connecting a thin, clear string from your mouth to his thumb, leaving you gasping for air—

Only for it to be partially taken away again when you feel long, calloused fingers gently wrap around the area just beneath your jawline—and your eyes widen as you look at him, your breath catching, and he watches you with a knowing look behind his eyes. 

Like he knows that no matter what—you’ll trust him.

And he’s not wrong—you do. 

Enough to let your eyes immediately soften into submission, your lips wet from your saliva, and you let out a small moan as you tilt your chin up—giving him more room for his fingers to hold and cover. 

It brings out a hiss from him, low and breathy, and you see the way things primarily shift in his eyes when you begin to pant, moving your hips as he fucks you with his fingers—encouraging him to push harder and make you lose your mind. 

And god—he listens almost instantly as he squeezes the sides of your neck a little more, and you moan as you get a little hazy in the head, your limbs loose as his fingers move inside you. 

“Fuck, look at you,” Tsukishima lets out a small breath that’s almost a chuckle, and he watches you with his dick throbbing as you let him take the weakest part of your body into his own hands to play with. 

Giving him that trust that gets him all heady and needy to just—

To just kiss you and fuck you and take all of you until all you feel, smell, taste, and hear is him. 

“Always so good for me, sweetheart.” 

He grinds his palm against your clit with more pressure, moving it in circles as his fingers get swallowed by your pulsing walls—and then he’s pressing his fingers into your pulse points a little more, slowly playing with your ability to breathe, feeling his hand heavy around your neck until—

“Oh fuck—Kei—shit—”

You gasp, shaky, and your lower spine draws tight when your eyes get blurry from the brief lack of air—and that seems to snap something deep within you as you cum furiously around his fingers, spasming and gasping with your senses turning numb—

“Just like that, baby—get all nasty for me—“

Tsukishima finger fucks you through it, watching with dark eyes as he loosens up his fingers around your throat—and clear fluids squirt out of your sopping pussy with every thrust of his wrist inside you.

You end up gushing fluids all over the bed and his thighs—but Tsukishima doesn’t care. 

He’s too wound up and high on watching you cum on him to care about how sticky everything is—

It’ll only get messier once he gets his dick inside you anyway. 

You cry, coming down from your high as air rushes into your lungs after your orgasm—your pussy clenching hard from wave after wave of pleasure—

“I’m going to fuck you now, okay?” You hear him breathe that out. “And fill you up just how you like it.” 

You’re still too out of it to respond with anything other than a languid nod, feeling light and a puddle of fire at the same time as he kisses you so achingly soft that you melt against him. 

Atsumu

If he isn’t spending his time practicing or playing volleyball—

Miya Atsumu’s idea of using his time effectively is by having his hands and mouth on and all over you.

Specifically being able to bury his face in between your plush thighs—with his mouth and tongue pressed against your cunt. 

It’s what he’s doing right now as he’s got you bent over the island counter in your kitchen—while he’s on his knees behind you, hands gripping onto your upper thighs to hold you in place, with his tongue running a wide strip from your clit to your hole. 

“God—‘Sumu, you couldn’t have waited—?” 

You moan with a small whine as he sucks on your folds, tongue dipping in and jaw working as he makes out with your pussy from behind. 

“Sorry, baby,” Atsumu is breathing heavily when he pulls back, and he wets his lips as he slides his hands up to squeeze your ass—massaging it before using his hold on them to spread them apart, giving him easier access to your cunt.

And his eyes go half-lidded, his cock hardening in his pants, at the sight of your spit-slicked and soaked folds. “Can’t help it.”

Then he dives back in, jaw slack as his tongue licks your pussy like he’s thirsty for it, and you whine at how embarrassingly close you are to your orgasm already. 

“Ya looked so good in that skirt,” Atsumu murmurs against you, undulating his tongue against your clit before pushing the tip of his tongue through your drooling slit—

And he moans. 

He actually moans while he eats you out—like he’s just so desperate to have his mouth on you, determined to get you utterly soaked as your juices trickle down his chin and your thighs from how much he’s gotten you worked up. 

“Couldn’ wait,” Atsumu pants, swallowing before pushing his tongue further to lick your sensitive clit—flicking it with his tongue until he has you tensing and your thighs squeezing around his face. ‘Fuck—baby, so good—”

A whimper escapes your throat, and you rest your forehead against your arms that are on the counter, pushing your hips back to fuck yourself on his face until that ball of heat explodes in between your legs—and your orgasm throbs through you. 

Liquid heat spreads through your body, and you moan through it all as Atsumu licks and sucks and eats, groaning so low and needy, until your clit twitches with oversensitivity and you’re whining. 

“So pretty f’me,” You hear him mutter, sounding drunk off the taste of your cunt, and your entire body jolts as a sharp gasp slips through your parted lips when you feel a slap against your sopping folds. 

And Atsumu’s head spins when he stands back up—his eyes focused on the way your arousal drools down from your pussy lips, a thin string of clear fluid running down to the floor and—

“God damn, baby, ya drooling.” Two of his fingers strum your slit, getting his fingers all nice and shiny and creamy from your orgasm, feeling your cute little cunt pulse around them. 

Then—

You choke out a broken gasp when he slaps your pussy again, hearing the wet smack against his hand, and Atsumu’s voice comes out in a low drawl right after. “Turn around, love.” 

Your legs buckle when you do—your movements slow with that ache still there between your legs—

But Atsumu is right there—guiding you with gentle touches over your legs and hips—and the moment you’re facing him—

He gives you one, heated look—his eyes lowered and so murky with desire—before he captures your lips with his, and you exhale a sharp breath through your nose when you can taste yourself in his mouth. 

God. 

You kiss him back, though, a little sloppy with how muddled your head is, and you make these tiny sounds that Atsumu eagerly swallows up—while his hands move to squeeze your ass, then move down until they’re at the back of your thighs and—

“Lift up for me,” He mumbles against your mouth, and you follow almost immediately—one leg moving to wrap around his waist after the other—and you use your hold around his neck for support, kissing him with a small grunt when he lifts you to sit your ass on the edge of the counter. 

It causes the cool surface to brush against your bare pussy, pulling out a gasp from you, and Atsumu breathes heavily against you as he grinds his clothed bulge—god, it’s so fucking big—against your pussy, making you all dizzy with it. “‘M gonna fuck you, okay?” 

He kisses you again, his rough hands running up and spreading goosebumps over your legs until they just reach the part where your hips and thighs meet. “And you gonn’ take it like a good girl f’me, yeah?” 

You whimper with a small nod, kissing him and bucking your hips back at him almost impatiently. 

“Say it, baby.” 

Shit—

“O-okay,” You breathe out, too high off the bliss of your post-orgasm to care about the fact that he’s going to fuck you raw—

You don’t even realize he doesn’t have a condom on until he’s pulling his pants and underwear down to let his dick bounces free, and it slaps against your upper thigh—feeling so heavy and hot and smooth and—

Exposed—with his pre-cum leaking from the fat tip and onto your leg, making more of a mess on you. 

“Good,” Atsumu praises you, kissing you as he slides his thick cock through your pussy folds, getting it all nice and wet, before sliding in—pushing the fat tip through your hole so easily and he’s bottoming out in one, fluid motion. “So fuckin’ good, darlin’.” 

Your eyes roll back, and your legs around him tighten as he pulls out—only to roll his hips against you, making you feel the heat of his skin flush against yours as he fucks his cock into your needy walls. 

He fucks you with his hands pinning you down to the counter by your hips—making your body jolt with every thrust—and tiny, wet moans get punched out of you as your mouth hovers against his. 

It causes your juices to gush out with every rock of his hips, making a mess on the counter, as loud and wet squelches fill the kitchen to show just how wrecked you are. 

And it all just adds to the feverish warmth that’s flooding your clit and lower belly—that tension building until it’s ready to snap again with every brush against your g-spot and—

And you don’t realize the fingers around your throat until you feel a slight pressure in your head, and heat pressing against the sides of your neck. 

And when your eyes—all wide and glossy—flit up to meet Atsumu’s—

He’s already looking right at you, watching you, focused to see your reaction—as if he’s waiting for you to tell him to stop—while still fucking your sensitive pussy. 

But you don’t. 

Instead, you let out a moan in approval, your eyelids dropping in response, and your cunt clenches around his girth as you kiss him softly, panting against his mouth with a soft mutter. “Harder.” 

And god—hearing that does astronomical things to his head and dick. 

“Fuck,” You feel his groan vibrate against you, all low and throaty, as his fingers grow firmer around your delicate throat—and his pace picks up as he starts to get needier for your sweet pussy. “Don’ think ‘mma last long, baby.”

He doesn’t let you respond.

Not when he’s quick to hitch your legs higher—and he uses his hold around your throat to push you down until your back is flat against the counter’s surface, and your eyes blow wide with a woosh of your breath escaping your lungs. 

“Ya think you can keep all f’me inside you, sweetheart?” He asks, voice so sweet and cooing as if he isn’t fucking your guts and making you choke as his body hovers over you, and he’s smirking down at you as he takes in just how good his hand looks around your neck. 

“I want this pretty lil pussy to get messy, kay?” 

Your eyes roll back when the pressure under your jawline grows, making you feel light-headed, and—

You should feel somewhat alarmed with how easily he can choke you. 

To hold the power over your body just like that—with no effort whatsoever. 

He’s stronger than you.

So much bigger than you. 

And his hands and fingers are dominating and heavy but—

But all you do is look up at him in submission, all hazy and eyes shiny with lust as your fingers wrap around his wrist as support, laying there and taking his cock as another orgasm rips out of you. 

You trust him to never hurt you—to take things too far. 

He’s always knew just how far to take things with you—to dance on that delicate line of risk and pleasure for you. 

It only takes another few strokes inside you, your g-spot overstimulated, for you to cum around him, electrified and feel like you’re floating as he fucks your pussy—all puffy and abused as it squirts so much on his dick and the counter—

And nothing but the sound of wet skin slapping against wet skin fills your ears, and your entire body shakes when Atsumu moans so desperately against you.

And his hand never leaves your throat, even as he kisses every inch of your face to soothe and praise you while you cry from your orgasm—and he’s following soon after with his hot cum filling you up till your pussy is leaking both of your fluids everywhere. 

Getting you all messy like he said you would. 

end ♡

Masterpost

[pluto-on-mars]

Brainrot

I literally just wanted to write abt Tsukishima fucking you dumb and being mean abt it <3

Tsukishima kei x reader (18+ MDNI)

Includes: dumbification, unprotected sex, overstimulation, degradation, thigh riding/fucking(?), fingering, edging, oral (f receiving), plot what plot/pwp

Wordcount: 1,326 (unfinished)

Tsukishima was always one to tease, and you would normally put up with it. Normally you could handle his teasing touches to an extent. But currently, you felt like you were burning, mind hazy as Tsukishima's lips captured yours in a searing kiss.

His actions were intoxicating, swirling your tongue with his, and occasionally sucking on it. You felt like you were melting, Tsukishima's intense actions causing the spark of arousal to ignite.

You moaned into the kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth as you tried your best to keep up with his actions. Your arms draped around his neck as you pulled yourself impossibly closer to him.

He shifted, causing his thigh to go right between your legs. You rocked your hips, trying to get anything to touch you right where you needed it. Suddenly, he pulled away, chuckling in amusement as you leaned forward trying to kiss him again. Hands came up to grip your hips which halted your movements.

You panted," Kei, please." His face was still close to yours, allowing you to feel the words as he spoke," Please? Please what?" There was a slight mocking tone to his words that went straight to your core.

You tried to buck your hips against his thigh but it was no use, his hands kept you firmly in place but for some reason that just aroused you even more.

Your face flushed, embarrassment crawling into your mind. You whispered," Please touch me."

You watched as a condescending smirk splayed across his features He moved his face closer, lips lightly brushing against each other, but not exactly capturing yours into a kiss.

He pulled your hips down, making your clothed cunt press against his thigh. Your breath hitched as he started to slowly rock your hips," What was that? I'm gonna need you to speak. louder." He punctuated his words by bouncing his thigh.

You felt like you were going to burst, brain processing his words much slower than usual. You begged," Please use your fingers to fuck my cunt, Kei please."

Tsukishima inhaled sharply, his hand going between your thighs, the other rubbing circles into your hips. " Well since you asked so nicely." he cooed out.

His slim fingers traced around your clothed clit, giving feather light touches that was something but at the same time nothing. Your breath hitched, about to beg him to stop his teasing.

But he pushed your underwear aside, cold fingers gathering your slick and swirling it around your clit. You bucked your hips into his hand as you gripped him tighter," Fuck! Kei-"

He let out an amused chuckle as he teased you," Look at you, so wet that you don't even have to suck on my fingers before I put them in you." Your breath hitched as his fingers slipped into your entrance.

He started to move his fingers, quickly finding that spongey spot inside you that made you see stars. You dug your face in the crook of his neck, as you tried to bite back your moans.

His lips brushed your ears as he muttered his words," You know better than to hide from me, or are you just a stupid whore?"

You let out a wanton moan as he started to speed up, thumb suddenly circling your clit. "Oh shit- faster! Please Kei 'm gonna cum!"

He nipped at your ear as he sped up his pace, fingers reaching your g-spot with every movement. You let out a desperate keen," Kei! 'M about to- fuck! 'M gonnacum-"

Suddenly, just as the knot you felt in your abdomen was about to snap, Tsukishima stopped. He laughed at you," What, did you think I was gonna let you cum that easily? You really are dumb."

You rolled your hips, needily nipping and kissing his neck in hopes that would somehow convince him to give you more. He huffed," Look at you, such a desperate whore trying to use anything to get off."

You frantically nodded," Need you Kei!" Tsukishima let out a low groan as your words went straight to his cock.

" Really now? Show me how much you need me." he rasped. You slowly started to rock your hips against his thigh, moaning as you felt him flex his thigh. You felt hot under his gaze as you sped up your pace.

Pressing into his thigh, you moaned as he started to play with one of your nipples, rolling it with his thumb. " Fuck, look at you making a mess of my thigh."

Going faster, you felt fuzzy, static starting to buzz throughout your limbs," Kei 'm gonna cum, please let me cum!" His hands grabbed your hips as he rocked you faster, slowly making pressure build in your abdomen.

"Go ahead, cum for me slut." His name-calling sent you over the edge, the orgasm that you had been waiting for finally arriving. You gripped onto him as your thighs started to shake," 'M cumming! Fuck! Shit Kei!"

Tsukishima would be lying if he said he didn't love to hear you moan his name. His gaze locked onto your face as it started to morph into an expression of pure ecstasy.

He slowly stopped rocking your hips against his thigh as you came down from your high. He put his lips on yours as he swallowed your moans, lightly biting your bottom lip as he laid you down.

His tongue worked his way inside your mouth as his hands trailed down to your tits. Pulling away from the kiss with a sharp pop he left a trail of wet kisses against your neck. Slowly going lower, and lower, hands following in his mouth's wake.

His mouth traveled to your inner thigh, nipping at it slightly. Your legs threatened to close when he let his breath fan across your sensitive cunt. Using his hands to keep your legs open for him, he used his tongue to lick a long stripe up your pussy and swirled it around your clit.

You tried to close your legs around his head, but he was just too strong. " 'M still sensitive!" you cried out. But that did nothing to deter him as he wrapped his lips around your nub and hummed.

" What was that?" He muttered against you, sending vibrations throughout your core. You cried out," Just came- Please 'm so sensitive. It's too good!"

" A whore like you can handle it." He teased right before his tongue delved into your wet hole. He ate you like a man starved, lapping at your folds and thrusting his tongue in and out.

Your back arched as you felt another orgasm begin to build again. Tsukishima moved his hands to hold your hips down, allowing you to close your thighs around his head. Your hands moved to grip his sandy blonde hair, meeting his sharp gaze as he looked at you.

Tsukishima felt you clench around his tongue and he brought a thumb to your clit. You let out a choked moan as you babbled out," Cumming again! 'M gonna- cumming! 'M cumming!"

Tsukishima moved his tongue faster, spurred on by your moans. He moaned into your cunt, your juices covering his face. Finally moving away from your hole, he captured your lips in a kiss. Its passionate nature feeling like a gentle contrast compared to his intense actions.

The sudden feeling of Tsukishima sinking you down on his cock made you see stars, his sinful groan making your walls clench around him. " Fuck, you're so wet, didn't even need my dick to make you such a mess."

He grabbed your hips, setting his own pace as he used his hands to slam them up and down, pushing his dick in and out.

" Such a slut, cumming before I could put my cock in you." He grunted, hands gripping down harder as you tightened around him.

" You-you said I could." You managed to choke out in your breathless state.

" Oh?" You knew it was an immediate mistake when you felt him stop," Still have enough sense in you to talk back I see?" he sneered.

Flipping you around so that your ass was up in the air, he wasted no time pushing his dick back between your folds. Slamming into you at a brutal pace, you couldn't stop the desperate moans that escaped you even if you wanted to.

" Can't have that now can I?" He husked, making his thrusts harder.

[kiyoors]

stay

tsukishima kei x reader

warnings: afab! reader, mentions of unprotected sex, unclear relationship between reader and tsukki, kei is bad at feelings

you hear tsukishima shuffling in the bathroom as you lay on his bed.

looking up at his ceiling, you try to figure him out: is he the kind of guy who’ll kick a girl out after he sleeps with her? will he let you stay? should you get dressed and make a run for it while he’s busy?

instead, you stay where you are, only choosing to drape your arm over your face, the crook of your elbow resting over your eyes. you close them. you’ll leave it up to him to decide what he wants to do with you.

would he walk you home if he kicked you out?

eyes still closed, you hear him come back into the room. you brace yourself for rejection and the eventual walk of shame.

the bed dips as he kneels on it, inching closer to you.

you feel him tap the side of your naked thigh, “open your legs,” he says

you do so, choosing not to remove your arm from covering your face until you feel him clean the mess in between your thighs with a damp hand towel. you guess it’s the least he could do before kicking you out— given that most of the mess is his.

he sighs once he’s finished, discarding the rag, eyes still not meeting yours as he makes his way to the dresser across the room.

“you…” he drags the question out as he rummages through the top drawer.

“want a shirt?”

you hum, and he throws it over to you.

he’s pacing the room again, picking up the various clothing items you were each wearing before the night’s encounter.

you see him fold your pants, the shirt you were wearing, and your bra. he picks up your panties and finally, shyly, meets your gaze, cheeks coloring.

he throws these at you, too. you to put them on.

he’s back to his drawers, pulling out a clean pair of sweatpants for himself. the waistband rests low on his waist as he finally, finally, comes back to bed.

“umm,”

you take this as your cue to leave, sitting up and moving to the edge of the bed, searching his room for your phone, your keys, your wallet.

“i tend to run pretty cold at night,” he begins, clearing his throat, “do you want an extra blanket incase-

“are you leaving?”

he cuts himself off when he realizes you’re collecting your belongings, your pants already in hand, waiting for you to put them on.

you feel like a deer caught in headlights. your mouth falling open into a soundless oh.

“you want me to stay?” you ask him, unsure

immediately, tsukishima gets defensive, closing himself off, “i mean, no one’s forcing you to.”

he looks away, and you feel like hitting yourself with a hammer repeatedly.

“text me when you get home.” is all he says, still not meeting your eyes.

“tsukki-”

“what.” his tone is harsh. he’s furiously picking at the skin around his cuticles.

“i-i want to stay,” you tell him, nearing him where he is sitting on the edge of his bed. while he still pretends to be upset, he’s readily parting his legs for you to nestle in between them, burrowing his head in your stomach as you stand in front of him, your fingers immediately moving to scratch his scalp the way he likes. his hands gently cup your ass, bringing you closer.

tsukishima breathes in the scent of you and him mixed together through his shirt. you’re good to him. too good sometimes.

the truth is he wants you to stay in his bed (and his heart, and his life) forever.

“call me kei,” he tells you finally, softly, “s’the least you can do after asking me to cum inside you.”

“kei,” you say, smile on your lips, savoring the syllable, “can you get me an extra blanket?”

he huffs, pulling you down to lay beside him, “you won’t need one after i’m done with you.”

[strawberrycheeks-and-glasses]

“Kei,” you whisper in his ear, waking up before him.

He’s laying on his side, his face, pressed into his pillow, relaxed and glowing in the moonlight that reaches through the window behind him. You don’t want to disturb his peaceful slumber, but he said he’d do anything for you.

And right now, you need him to keep his promise.

“Kei,” you sing his name. Brushing his long bangs off his forehead, neglected to focus on you and your needs, you press a soft kiss to his temple.

He hums against your touch, inhaling, deeply, though his nose. Slowly opening his eyes to reveal his sweet honey irises, he blinks at your smiling face.

“My love?” He says, his voice raspy and dry. “What time is it?” He swallows, turning in his back and rubbing his eyes with his long fingers.

“Midnight,” you whisper, cuddling up into his open arms.

“What has you awake?” He mumbles through a yawn. His eyes shut again, resting his head back into his pillow.

“You said if I needed anything I could wake you,” you remind him of his promise.

“And what do you need, love?” His fingers softly caress the curve of your shoulder, letting you know he’s here for whatever you need.

“Peanut butter,” you smile into his bare chest.

“Peanut butter?” He repeats, licking his dry lips.

“Yes, and maybe, a banana?” You look up at him, seeing his brows furrowed and his eyes still closed, he’s trying to process your requests in his sleeping brain.

“Peanut- oh!” His eyes fly open. “I see,” he laughs, putting two and two together. “Another midnight craving, huh?”

You nod against his shoulder as he turns his head to look at you, a small tired smile on his lips.

“Okay,” he sighs, shifting under you to sit up on the edge of the bed. “One order of peanut butter and a banana, coming right up.”

You watch from your side of the bed as he stretches his arms over his head, twisting his back and yawning into the late night. Flicking the bedside light on, he searches for his glasses, placing them on his face as he stands.

He looks down at you with tired eyes, and leans over his side of the bed to press a kiss to your forehead. Then moves down to kiss your stomach.

“Daddy will be right back with your snack, little one,” he smiles, petting your small bump.

“Daddy loves us,” you whisper to your bump as he walks out of your bedroom to find your midnight craving.

ao3 link

[gubboob]

drapes his jacket over you when he notices you slouching and leaning on your forearm. You’ve definitely fallen asleep when you should be studying and working on your assignment but he’ll let it slide, just this once. (a lie) 

kisses your head and gently runs his long fingers along your back peppering his lips along your neck and arms, doting on you to make sure you don’t get a cold from the ac in the library. (why you chose to sleep under the fan will never cease to confuse him) 

has an album filled with pictures of you sleeping and sets them as his background, alternating between his favorite ones. He claimed to not be the type to obsess over their s/o but how could he not when you’re just so beautiful and loving you is one of the best things he's ever done? 

Sometimes if he’s feeling generous he’ll finish your work (he’s done it enough that he’s matched your handwriting perfectly but he’ll never admit it) opting for the excuse that you must have completed it before passing out (a lie that loses credibility the more it happens) and when you get a perfect score on the assignment you run into his arms as he congratulates you. (maybe this was all a ploy for your affection) 

“Baby look I got a 100%!” 

“You’re amazing honey, how do you wanna celebrate?” 

Kuroo, Kenma, OSAMU, Suna, Akaashi, Sakusa, Iwaizumi, TSUKISHIMA, Daichi, Oikawa, Kita

[kitasgloves]

"The Only Exception"

event masterlist

— ♬ "Because none of it was ever worth the risk. But you are the only exception"

— ♬ Tsukishima x Reader, timeskip, SFW, minor angst to fluff, gen reader, high school friends to lovers, no beta

From an early age, you learned that you had to grow up alone. You realize that to survive in this world, you need to have the courage to face whatever lies ahead. You have to be independent, relying on people constantly isn't ideal. Trusting people is already hard enough in the beginning, and it affects your ability to connect with your peers. Everybody seems so insincere that it hinders you from interacting. For a large portion of your life, you kept to yourself.

You may have gotten away with that in middle school but pressure sets in as you enter high school. Everybody has their group no matter where you looked at. And it reinforced your sense of embarrassment that you couldn't find your place in this social hierarchy. You sat near the far back of the classroom on your first day, you were done introducing yourself one by one but nobody seemed bothered to be interested in approaching you. The thought of transferring schools crossed your mind.

The first lecture began and you had difficulty following the concepts, you furrowed your eyebrows looking at the notes you made and compared them to the writings on the board. You scratched your head. You sighed and decided to ask the person next to you to see if they understood the lesson. You turned your head and saw a tall blonde wearing thin-framed glasses, he sported a bored expression as he jotted down his notes while listening to the teacher. He seems like he comprehends the lesson so you tapped his arm.

"Uh, excuse me?"

He ignores you. Rude, you think but you shake your head and tap his arm harder. He frowns and turns to look at you, he looks annoyed. You sent him an awkward smile and whispered.

"Hey, I was wondering if you understand any of the concepts being discussed?"

"Of course I do, these are some basic concepts. Don't you get them?"

He replies flatly. Suddenly, you felt like the dumbest person on planet Earth. Basic concepts? Why does it seem like some otherworldly language you couldn't decipher? You fall silent and accepted the fact that you don't understand jack shit from the lecture. You thought the tall guy would be nice enough to break it down for you, he looked smart too. As the bell rang, you sluggishly packed all of your things in your bag until someone slipped a piece of paper on your desk.

"Here, seems like you could use some help, dumbass"

Your face turns sour when you realize it's the tall blonde guy, he's even smirking down at you, mocking you both with his height and intelligence. You frown at him.

"I don't need your help"

"Rude, I'm just trying to be nice"

He tries to take back the piece of paper until you grab his arm, stopping him. He snickers as he watches you snatch the paper to give it one hard look. You realize it's his notes from the lecture and it was easy to understand. You were impressed and it showed on your face.

"Wow, these are...amazing"

"Of course it is, I wrote it and listened to the lecture"

"Gee, thanks"

You said, sarcastically. You carefully folded the paper and slipped it inside your bag. You head outside the school building with him trailing behind, you notice how it is raining outside and how you have unfortunately forgotten your umbrella.

"Damnit!"

You cursed. You were about to place your bag over your head when the blonde guy pulled out his umbrella and sent you a teasing smirk. What a cocky bastard! He might just be straight-up the worst person you've ever met. You scowled at him as he stood there with that smug look.

"What? Do you expect me to share an umbrella with you?"

"Didn't your parents teach you any manners?"

"Didn't yours teach you to be prepared at all times?"

He rebutted, you went quiet and opted to stare at your black shoes. There was a tense silence between the two of you, all you could hear were the raindrops falling on the concrete. Suddenly, you hear the blonde sigh.

"...I don't have all day, you know"

"Huh?"

"Are you gonna get your ass over here or would you rather have fun getting soaked in the rain"

Your face lights up in a fraction of a second as you rush under his umbrella. The two of you walked outside the school's property without saying a word. Your home was far so you asked him to drop you by the bus stop, you're surprised that he did. He doesn't leave until the bus comes to view a few streets away. You look up at him, your uniform only slightly wet.

"Thanks. I'm [Name] [Surname] by the way"

"Whatever, don't think we're immediately friends after this"

"You sound like you don't have any friends"

"That's none of your business"

"So, you're not gonna tell me your name?"

"No"

He replies as you let out a tiny pout. The bus arrives as you spare him a wave goodbye and a smile, the blonde only rolls his eyes. Before you can step in, he grabs your arm firmly.

"Tsukishima"

"What?"

"It's my name, dumbass"

"Oh. Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Tsukki!"

You giggled at the scowl spreading across his features. You got on your seat inside the bus and watched as Tsukishima's figure shrunk from the distance. You missed the pink tint on his cheeks as he stared at the bus driving away. You and Tsukishima began talking frequently, it was more on insults the next day and relatively talked more. You two got partnered up for projects or presentations much to both of your annoyance. Nonetheless, both of you unexpectedly got along even if it may seem you couldn't stand each other.

Tsukishima became a friend, you know it because he invited you to eat lunch with him and his childhood friend Yamaguchi. He tells you to watch his practice match at the volleyball club, you cheer for him the whole time. He teases you for not understanding the lecture but ends up lending you his notes. When it rains, you sometimes purposely leave your umbrella to see if he still cares enough to share his umbrella with you. And he always does while being annoyed, it still tugged on your heartstrings.

The two of you got closer to the point where he was comfortable sharing his interests and his family. You know he enjoyed volleyball even if he keeps saying that it's just a club, and he has a fixation on dinosaurs, something you tease him a lot for. You learned that he came from a loving family with a mother and a brother. In return, you shared your past with him.

You told him that when you were younger you saw your daddy cry and curse at the wind, he broke his own heart and you watched as he tried to reassemble it. You told him that your mama swore that she would never let herself forget. You told Tsukishima that that was the day that you promised that you'd never sing of love if it did not exist. Sharing about your parents' divorce was hard because it wasn't something easy to say since you're still affected by it. But as you tried to hold back the tears, Tsukishima saw through them and patted you on the head then said;

"It may have not worked for them but that doesn't mean you're supposed to get hung up about it"

That afternoon when you spilled him everything, it was inside his room during the weekend. You hugged him that day and sobbed your little heart out as he held you in silence. Slowly, he carefully stroked your hair and tried to stop you from crying by sharing his strawberry shortcake. That day, you knew you liked Tsukishima. Maybe you know somewhere deep in your soul that love never lasts. And you've got to find other ways to make it alone or keep a straight face. And you've always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance. Up until now, you have sworn to yourself that you're content with loneliness because none of it was ever worth the risk.

However, when you smiled at Tsukishima and reciprocated it during your graduation day. You're beginning to think he might be the only exception. After that, you never saw Tsukishima again, it crushed you if you're being honest. You're alone again and you felt like a fool for believing everything would change. You survived on your own at college, albeit making only a few friends. You graduated with honors and got an apartment for yourself eating cup ramen.

You buried that stupid high school crush on Tsukishima but it resurfaced when you saw him at the new museum. You didn't know he worked there. You decided to avoid him but your eyes met before you could flee. It felt like the air was violently knocked out of your lungs, you recognize the horrid butterflies swirling inside your stomach when he tilted his head at you. He didn't change much, if anything, he grew more handsome. You gulped.

"[Name]?"

"...Hi, it's been a while"

"Didn't expect to see you here. Where have you been?"

Tsukishima tries to catch up with you. It seemed like he had matured greatly. You fall comfortable in your conversation that you two went out for coffee after his shift. He made you feel like a teenager again, smiling and giggling. He reminded you of your buried feelings for him. It was true that you fell for him during your first year but never dared to tell him until graduation, how pathetic.

Later, Tsukishima insisted on taking you home. Your head screamed to decline but the throbbing of your heart was louder. You invited him inside your home to chat a little longer and before you know it he's getting near you. It felt so surreal when he caressed your cheek and kissed you. Shocked, you froze. Ultimately, you surrender by kissing him back. You couldn't wrap your head around how you ended up sleeping beside him, you two made out until one of you grew tired. It didn't help that Tsukishima didn't offer any explanation. So, you lie there staring at the ceiling, doubting that the blonde reciprocated your feelings.

You've got a tight grip on reality but you can't let go of what's in front of you here. You know that he'll leave you in the morning when you wake. And leave you with some kind of proof it's not a dream. With a few tears slipping from your eyes, you fell asleep with a heavy heart. Just as you suspected, Tsukishma was nowhere to be found in your apartment, and the only proof you had was a note saying he had to go before you woke. You ignored the ache in your chest as you got ready for today. It was cruel for fate to let you reunite with him only to have your heart broken. You think back to your mother and father and thought how it didn't work for them. You couldn't stop yourself from bawling.

It was a week later when you received a knock on the door, when you answered it was Tsukishima. Bewildered, you asked why he was here as you tried your best not to crumble right in front of him.

"I need to talk to you"

He says. Was he going to explain what he did previously was an impulsive decision? Was he going to tell you that he regrets kissing you? God, your eyes were already wet before the blonde could even open his mouth. 

"I'm sorry for what I did last time, [Name]"

"I get it. I know you regret kissing me that night-"

"What?"

"I said, I know you regret-"

"Regret? You think I regret what happened that night?"

There was a hopeful skip of a heartbeat. Tsukishima sighs and runs a hand through his hair, he looks at you and you know he sees your glistening eyes. You can tell by how his face dropped.

"What am I supposed to think? You kissed me and left the next morning, Kei"

"That's what I regretted, [Name]. Not the kiss"

"You regretted leaving the next morning?"

"Yes, because I was..."

He pauses and he hears you sniff. Seemingly panicked, Tsukishima grabs your hand and firmly squeezes it. His eyes gazed straight at your soul and it almost scared you.

"Because I was scared..."

"Scared of what?"

"Scared of telling you that I love you"

Suddenly, you couldn't breathe. It sounded too good to be true. Your mouth was agape as you struggled to find the words to speak. Was he lying? However, when you look at him and notice the flushed look on his face and the gentleness in his eyes, it is the opposite.

"You...love me?"

"I've always had, dumbass"

"But why?"

"I don't have all day to explain why I fell for you but in summary, you make me do things I wouldn't do"

"Like what?"

"Make exceptions"

Tsukishima elaborates that he has never shared his notes with anyone back in high school. He says that he has never anticipated sharing an umbrella with someone. He told you has never comforted anyone before when they cried. He has never skipped volleyball practice because you needed help studying for the exam. He has never packed extra food for someone for lunch. And he has dated others but never made the same exceptions for them. It has always been you.

"Kei, I...I love you too. I've never fallen in love with anybody else"

"Wow, shit. Now, I'm kinda regretting confessing"

"No, you don't"

You finally smile at him and he does the same. He goes in for an embrace and you instantaneously melt in his arms. Tsukishima goes to plant gentle kisses on your skin.

"I left at work and skipped volleyball practice for this so you owe me"

"Why did you do that, Kei?"

"Because none of it was ever worth the risk. But you are the only exception"

Tsukishima sees the grin on your face, a smug look spread all over your features. After all, he has granted you the privilege of being his one and only, the one who owns his heart the one he's willing to risk it all. His only exception. You were on your way to believing.

©kitasgloves (do not steal or copy)

[cr4yolaas]

second best (pt 2) — iwaizumi hajime

notes: at last, the heavily requested part 2 to this fic !! i really hope it met a lot of your guys’ standards — i tried my best to take as much of your requests into account ^_^ i rlly dislike m the flow of this … but hopefully u guys still enjoy LOL

tags: angst → (bittersweet?) fluff, depressive episode (reader), swearing (once), a longgg process of grief and healing and whatnot, alcoholism (only briefly), roommate! tsukishima, best friend! oikawa, tsukishima does NOT have feelings for you, not proofread and quite long

taglist (incl. everyone who asked for a pt 2 !!): @altumsomnum @gennaray @romanticandupsetting @multi-fandom-fanfic

it was tuesday.

a frigid air pierced your limbs and left you to rot away, with the windows shut tight and the door locked. there was no mistakening the dark bags hanging beneath your eyes or the flakes of skin peeling from your bottom lip, nor the soft pleas of your stomach or the iciness of your fingertips. you basked in eternal slumber and silence and darkness and whatnot, save for the ticks of a clock that was 14 minutes behind and the hum of the air conditioning.

you were not frightened in the slightest. the warning signs plastered on your flesh were no great concern, and you could not fathom the idea of having to function again. it was horribly consuming.

with a groan, you released yourself from bed, your legs trembling under the mere weight of the air. you avoided the collections of trash and clothes splayed across the floor, being careful not to disturb the peace that had formed over the past handful of weeks. the sight of the kitchen was much more refreshing.

you were locked in stasis. contrary to the comfort these walls once provided, they now served as a a form of imprisonment, designed to allow the grief and the sorrow and the anger and the guilt to coalesce and spill over. it was terribly suffocating — you wished to escape.

gently, you poured a cup of water (not that you drank more than a sip, anyways). a thought passed your mind.

you needed to leave.

sendai was a home you could not find solace in anymore. gone was the youth encapsulated in the mountaintops and the hidden pathways and the convenience stores, and no longer could you feel at ease when faced with the neighborhoods you familiarized yourself with as a child.

your new apartment was shared with an old face — one you had only seen glances of in high school, notorious for his glasses and upfront attitude. he bore no hesitance when taking you in. instead, he was grateful for your presence, as if splitting the rent with him had taken off his life’s burden off of his shoulders.

he was quick to set ground rules — laundry days were on saturdays, trash needed to be taken out on sundays, the dish washer had to be clear at the end of the day, all groceries were shared, so on and so forth. you weren’t sure if you could keep up.

it took one week for him to actually conversate.

“why did you come back here?” he questioned, with a tone that implied he knew of you for years upon years (which would be false).

you picked at the skin of your lip. “why do you ask?”

“no reason. just curious.”

in a burst of energy, you recounted the tales of your past life, one of love and youth and joy; of the old apartment, of your past hobbies, of hajime. his gaze was so distant that you weren’t sure if he was listening at all.

in return, he expressed brief apologies and turned the story to himself — he discussed his volleyball career, his teammates, how he felt somewhat disconnected from his high school friends. he did not care to mention the exhaustion riddled into the pores on your face nor the weakness of your voice. that was all you needed. a conversation, not comfort.

only an hour later did he remind you of his name — tsukishima kei — and it was only then that you realized you had moved into an apartment without taking any precautions whatsoever. he laughed when you informed him of the situation.

this was not yet a home, but it was a house. and that was sufficient.

a month had passed before tsukishima forced you to get a job. he was clearly not a fool — at some point (you couldn’t tell when), he realized you were paying off your share of the rent with your life savings, which irked him ever so slightly.

“do you plan on moving out and dying on the streets when you run out?” he complained, despite the concern laced in the fluctuations of his voice.

you began working at his former high school coach’s family store. the owner himself was welcoming — he didn’t question your circumstances nor your physical state, and merely mentioned in passing that he was “given a token of appreciation from a prized student.”

and so began the cycle. on weekday mornings, you would depart for work and tsukishima would leave for practice. occasionally, he would pack you lunch (“only because i had leftovers,” he’d say) or leave a can of coffee on the counter for you. you would work at the register until the amalgamation of students died down, and once you were left with an empty store, you would take a break and go on a walk (as requested by your boss). then, you would return in the afternoon to serve the same population of children, handing them their ice cream and their sandwiches and whatnot. when they all disappeared, the coach would let you free and dismiss you with a “good work today, let’s do it again tomorrow.”

returning home was your favorite part of the schedule. a majority of the time, tsukishima arrived later than you, leaving you to your own time until he came home with dinner and a drink.

it was a monotonous cycle, but enjoyable nonetheless.

“i’m cutting off the beer for a month,” tsukishima exclaimed one warm summer night. you left your room to see him collecting unopened bottles and discarding them in a trash bag with little regard. you could only frown.

“those are all going to waste, we haven’t even opened them,” you groaned.

there was no response from the man as he continued to clear the apartment of any alcohol, akin to a parent cleansing their child’s home. before you could protest any further, he shut the door behind him and the crashing of bottles against one another could be heard beside the building.

tsukishima re-entered the apartment with empty hands and furrowed brows. “what’s up with the shitty face?” you asked from the couch.

he clicked his tongue at your comment and bore no response, instead letting his eyes wander to the screen in front of you. the morning news was playing, as usual. and yet, it was so wrong.

the screen flashed to a familiar face, one clad with a slight grin and sweat spread over his skin. his hair had grown slightly and his complexion had darkened, evidence of his labor. but most of all, he looked happy. his eyes screamed with a passion you hadn’t seen before, and despite his haggard appearance, he seemed to be content.

you did not see tsukishima rushing to turn off the television. you did not see the screen turn black, and you did not hear the noise diminish. you did not see tsukishima’s face adjacent to yours.

“hey. let’s go outside,” he muttered before moving to pull you up and out of the house

a delicate breeze washed over you both. the sun began to kiss you goodbye, and the noon crept up in its wake, leaving both of you in the dark.

“he looked so happy,” you whispered. “i don’t know what i’m doing wrong.”

you watched tsukishima light a cigarette in your peripherals, his lighter evidently battered and marred from heavy use. he made no move to offer one to you. “you’re not doing anything wrong,” he spoke firmly, although you could tell he was struggling to formulate the right combination of words in his head. “he’s just… going along a different path.”

“it should’ve been us on the same path. i feel so stupid. he’s gone on to do such great things, and i… what am i doing?”

tsukishima didn’t push the conversation any further. you were grateful.

a week had passed before tsukishima told you he had gotten you a new job, one deeper in the city. on an early sunday morning, he presented a uniform and badge to you, your name imprinted on both. the effort made you smile.

at some point, a new cycle formed. the museum was a far cry from the run down family store, and tsukishima taught you how to welcome it with an open mind and open arms. he never did mention the exact reason for the new occupation, nor did he tell you why he was so adamant on enforcing routine in your life. nonetheless, you appreciated it.

the mundanity that your new job encapsulated was slightly more enjoyable than that of your former job. exploring the concrete rooms filled with statues and paintings and whatnot was a sufficient way to pass the time. every now and then, you’d catch your roommate detailing a specific sculpture to a curious visitor, the scene contrasting his typical behavior. not that you would ever mention it to him, though.

a new routine was not unwelcome, but it did not feel impactful anymore. you still burned blue in the night, your bones aching with reminiscence over a lost life. your hands and legs still knew tokyo; they still knew the morning commutes and the bustling cafés and the chirping crosswalks and your own home, one that had been so devastatingly haunted by grief. your heart still knew the morning calls and the evening texts and the handfuls upon handfuls of promises made on once solid territory, and yet, you knew to return to it was to betray yourself.

you missed iwaizumi hajime.

rather, you missed the life that you formulated in his presence, opposed to the shambles you had grown comfortable in now that you were back home. tsukishima had carved a clay pot for your worn soul, and yet you could not help but yearn for the comfort and stability and routine you established in a past life.

the soft padding of feet echoed outside your door. soft strings of light streamed under your door as your roommate entered the kitchen, his actions indiscernible as he maneuvered about carefully. you decided to step out to greet him.

a startled tsukishima turned around to face you. “what are you still doing up?” he interrogated, albeit not in offense. “it’s late. we have work tomorrow.”

“but i don’t want to go to work. i want to go home,” you protested. you felt childish all over again — the thirst for selfishness was one that could not escape you, even now. an overwhelming desire to be in control of your own life.

tsukishima furrowed his brows. “to tokyo?” you nodded. “okay… then let’s go to tokyo.” he paid no mind to the slanted smile that transformed your lips, instead opting to turn away and fill up his bottle. “but why?”

“i need to escape,” you sighed, as if releasing a burden that had been lingering for a moment too long. “i need change. i just- i feel so stuck. i need to live.”

he merely hummed in agreement before uttering a comment about your poor sleeping schedule and ushering you back to bed.

tokyo was a city of hopes and dreams and noise. the shift from sendai’s cicada lullabies and whispers in the wind to the incessant chatter and obnoxious roads of the city was significant — any pedestrian would notice the irritation on you and tsukishima’s faces.

the inn he picked was small, yet slightly more comfortable than your current abode. the owners were kind and your neighbors were quiet, save for the occasional drunk couple. it was a life you remembering living, but not one you yearned for any longer.

in the night, you would both visit various attractions and markets and restaurants, with tsukishima insisting on paying for your meals (“as thanks for getting a life,” he argued). for that handful of days, you bore a smile that you weren’t sure would grace your lips ever again, for there was an adolescence in the evening activities that mended the remnants of your spirit. you felt whole.

on the last day, you brought tsukishima to a ramen house nearby the inn and promised to pay for the meal. it was a tuesday, again.

for reasons you could not discover, that appeared to be one of the busiest nights for the establishment — moments after you had settled, a line began to form, and the tables were crowded with families and friend groups and dates alike.

amidst the composition of metropolitans stood a man you wished you didn’t have to see. as if it were punishment, he locked his eyes with yours, the shock in his complimenting your dread.

you watched as he excused himself from his group while ignoring the cheers and shouts about him “shooting his shot.” tsukishima observed in tandem, seemingly reading the situation from a distance despite sitting right across from you.

you noticed the bold athletic trainer embroidered onto his chest, and the fitted red shirt he wore that matched those of his team. beads of sweat compiled on his forehead — you weren’t sure if it was from the density of the room or his exhaustion or anxiety. a small part of you hoped it was the second option.

“hey,” he began. “can- can we speak outside?”

you could not help but oblige.

hajime seemed to have developed an obsession with fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. you noticed the frayed strands on a spot that aligned perfectly with his hand, and you nearly laughed.

he coughed into his fist before rambling. “i’m sorry. i know you definitely don’t want to see me, and it’s not wrong of you at all to feel that way, but i just- i’ve thought about you- no, i think about you every day up until now. i know i don’t deserve you at all, and me being here is probably super upsetting, but-“

“hajime.”

the way you called his name seemed to deteriorate him and his principles. you finally felt otherwise.

“i really, really, didn’t want to see you at all. i don’t even want the thought of you to pass my mind. i’ve built a life outside of you and i’m tired of you interrupting it.” you witnessed his heart, mind, and body freeze simultaneously.

“i- i understand that, i know, i’m sorry. i’ve been- i’ve been reflecting a lot recently and i’ve known i was horribly in the wrong and i’m ashamed to have done nothing about it, and i know this sounds really, really dumb but i wish i had just stayed with you for that extra day because- because i don’t think i can go any longer without you now that i have you here, in front of me. could we- can we at least… keep in touch?” he seemed to speak without limitations, akin to a leaking clay pot. he was distressed, evidently. but you no longer saw his face and thought of guilt and love and yearning; you held no space for him.

you shook your head gently. “hajime, i don’t want you in my life anymore. you achieved your dreams, and i’m working on finding mine. that’s how it was meant to be.”

if not for the small lamp above the two of you, you would not have noticed the tears spilling onto his face. you bore no sympathy — with a goodbye and a small wave, you left him in the alley with a heavy heart and saline tears.

to witness him before you had awakened the truth riddled in your sinew and bloodstream: iwaizumi hajime was no longer a necessity. a truth that had cowered away beneath guilt and fragility and shame had uncovered itself, and for once, you breathed a full breath.

oikawa seemed so vibrant on the other side of your screen, the argentinian sun kissing his skin almost perfectly. “…i miss you lots!! i’ll visit soon, maybe, and we can catch up and maybe go get coffee and then debrief and then…” he trailed off with an aloof grin, his words spilling out from your phone and reverberating around the living room. tsukishima stood in the kitchen, the sound of his deliberate chopping and washing contesting oikawa’s voice. “but anyways, i’ll see you soon! byebye!!”

you waved goodbye and hung up, leaving only the noise of your roommate’s cooking. a loud groan left his lips in the midst of his mixing, followed by a complaint about how irritable your friend’s voice was. you could only laugh.

gentle strings of moonlight spilled into the apartment through the kitchen window, the songs of the evening falling upon both of you and your shared comfort. tomorrow was your off day, granting you both an opportunity for an actual meal. tsukishima (begrudgingly) agreed to make your favorite dish, with the request that you’d make his favorite dessert next week.

“thank you for the meal,” you whispered. tonight would consist of good food and a relaxing night, and tomorrow would entail a day of rest and a weekly reset, along with another call with oikawa. with marred hands and a porcelain heart, you had managed at last to craft a solid life — steady health, steady friends, and a steady routine.

you would no longer be second best to anything, and that was sufficient enough.

[obliteration-onearth]

[ not a romantic; tsukishima kei ]

he most definitely is not a romantic so.. whoever does these sweet little gestures for you is most certainly not your boyfriend.

--

ANTI ROMANTIC KEI WHO:

- scrolls on pinterest sometimes and suddenly finds something he thinks you'll like

- sends dumb messages with mean petnames like, "hurry up squirt. i'm outside your house"

- bought matching dinosaur onesies because you thought the two of you would look cute wearing it

- doesn't like double texting and needs reassurance that it's cute for him to do it

- eventually learns about all your quirks and grows fond of them despite displaying a mischievous demeanor by teasing you for them

- thinks you're cute when you hug him

- doesn't get flustered easily but bullies you when he does to make it less obvious

- may think some of your favorite foods are gross but buys them regardless when he's picking out snacks to bring to your house

- says that he's busy but helps you study and revise for your exams anyways

- says that he's the reason you passed even though he's mighty proud of you

- doesn't let you win any games at first but when he sees you sad, let's you win at least one to lift your spirits

- sends you the middle finger emoji after saying something so sickening sweet to even out the balance and to keep that reputation he has ( wouldn't wanna go to soft, he thinks )

- gets annoyed and then just turns away while being crimson in the face when you tease him for being soft

- finds it cute when you do romantic gestures for him but sometimes tell yamaguchi like "yeah, i got a cool girlfriend" or some shit

- says you're being weird for toying with/wearing his glasses and finds it hilarious when you say you feel dizzy ( catches you and tells you to be careful if you fall though )

- apologizes when you say you feel offended by something he says, thus making him write a mental note not to do it again in the future

- loves when you lay atop him whilst hugging him, your head nestled into his neck as you scroll on your phone

[hyeque]

messenger [tsukishima kei]

synopsis: you and yamaguchi are best friends with tsukishima. nearly everyday girls come up to the two of you to ask about the blonde and you both have had just enough. little do you know that yamaguchi has a plan of his own to get the chatting to stop...

notes: based off the sole fact that it's canon that girls only go up to yamaguchi to ask him about tsukki, which obviously means he's popular with girls. this was originally written as a stand-alone but i decided to submit it for lexi's @suckerforsugawara first time for everything collab! i apologize for how late this is, writer’s block got the best of me.

warnings: reader is very much in their head, angst at first but eventual fluff with good ending

word count: 4kei

for as smart as tsukishima kei is, he sure is oblivious to how girls flirt with him.

everyday a good number of girls around campus whisper and talk about how they find the blonde middle blocker attractive. about how much a good boyfriend he would make. it amazes you to no end how much the tall and silent type attract people. you could probably end up rich with how much you hear about him, because there's seriously not one day where you don't hear his name.

at first, most of the comments make you laugh. over time though, you begin to roll your eyes and scoff. you don't understand why so many people like him. half the time you see how tsukishima interacts with hinata and kageyama and it isn't in the nicest or most pleasant way. it just looks like a complete circus act. you truly feel sorry for daichi and suga.

tsukishima is just...mean. if you had a boyfriend who treated you like that, you'd dump him on the spot.

but maybe you are a hypocrite because while you think of all these things, you're still friends with him.

...if you can even call it that—you're sure tsukishima just 'tolerates' you. but the fact that you and yamaguchi are the two he spends the most time with obviously means something. he also begrudgingly helps you with your homework and walks you home from class all the time.

it means something...right?

today is no different from many other days as you watch hinata and kageyama get into a heated screaming match about god knows what. tsukishima is on the side snickering to yamaguchi. everyone else is helplessly by standing.

but you, on the other hand, are in your own little world. you're one of the managers for karasuno university's volleyball team. currently, you're filling up water bottles for the team. being in the role as manager, you've become a master at zoning out hinata and kageyama's bickering.

but you did not expect that this skill would one day work against you.

"hinata, kageyama! watch out!" ennoshita shouts, but it's already too late. you feel the unruly force of a volleyball hit you, making you drop the bottles you're filling up and spill water on the ground.

"are you okay?" yamaguchi rushes to help you to your feet, shooting the offending people a small glare. kageyama and hinata shiver at tadashi's gaze and begin to profusely apologize.

"i'm okay, yams. thank you." you dust off your clothes and laugh, "it's nothing i can't help when those two get carried away."

"we are so sorry!" hinata cries, nearly tripping over himself to get to you. kageyama sheepishly let's out a 'sorry' before his face flushes a bright red.

you open your mouth to assure them you're fine, but a certain voice beats you to it.

"are you two that incompetent that you'll take out our manager in the middle of one of your childish games?" the voice hisses. "i knew the two of you were stupid, but you both surprise me every day. i have to start lowering my bar more."

you don't have to turn to know who it is.

tsukishima turns to you, a displeased look on his face. if you squint, you can see his concern. "and you really need to work on watching your surroundings. i'd rather not have to take you to the hospital." he scolds, picking up the bottles from the ground. he swats your hand away when you reach out for them and you puff out your cheeks, frustrated.

he always does this, where you can't tell if he cares for you, or if he's just being mean. maybe you’re reading into things too closely.

you watch his eyes scan your figure intently and you flinch when you feel him touch you. your breath hitches at how close he is, close enough to see the specks of gold in his eyes from behind the lenses of his sports googles.

his hand gently turns your face to either side, "are you hurt anywhere?"

at the feeling of his hand on your arm, you feel it burn at the source of his touch.  you quickly recover and answer that you're fine. he studies your face for a moment longer to detect if you're lying but doesn't prod for any more answers.

not too far away does yamaguchi note the gesture between you two, but doesn't say anything.

the rest of practice runs by smoothly and you have practically forgotten that you were hit with a volleyball. before you know it, it's over and everyone calls it a day before filing out to the lock room.

tsukishima announces that he has to go somewhere after practice and for you and yamaguchi to not wait up for him. neither of you question him on his whereabouts because chances are he won't even tell you anyways.

as punishment for hitting you with the volleyball, kageyama and hinata are responsible for cleaning up the gym and locking up, which gives you the advantage of getting home early. down to two, you and yamaguchi start your trek home, the convo floating between school, volleyball, and other interests.

"yamaguchi-san?"

the two of you turn at the sound of a girl. she looks anxious and nervous and holds a pink envelope in her hands.

"hi! what can i do for you?" he smiles, green eyes bright and inviting.

the girl seems to gain confidence at yamaguchi's smile. "i have this confession for tsukishima-kun...but i don't know how to give it to him, so i was wondering if you would give it to him for me?" the girl explains shyly. her eyes shift to you and widen. "you're not dating tsukishima-san are you?"

your eyes widen at the accusation and you bust out a laugh, hard. maybe too hard.

"me? date him? i could never!"

after your embarrassing and short-lived laughing party, yamaguchi reluctantly agrees to take the letter to give to tsukishima. a strange feeling wells up in your chest at the sight, and you don't know why you felt disappointed in him doing so.

as soon as the girl leaves, you see yamaguchi's shoulders sag and his smile fades. 

"what's wrong, yams?" you nudge your best friend in the side, noting the way he picks at the skin on his hand anxiously.

"nothing," he answers, "we need to get going now."

you pull him back. "it's not 'nothing'. come on, what is it?"

you watch as he takes a moment to gather his thoughts before he replies, "i appreciate and care about tsukki and all, but it really sucks that girls only talk to me about him." he pouts, puffing out his cheeks.

"it's probably because you're much more approachable than mr. blonde beanpole." you suggest, shrugging your shoulders. "frankly, I don't know why or what people see in him. he's not very people-friendly. plus he always walks around with a scowl on his face. but i too wish they would stop asking us about him. what did suckyshima do to get so many confessions all the time..."

your freckled faced friend raises his brows, amused by your passionate rambling. "are you jealous?" he asks, head tilting in inquiry.

"w-what? no! why would i be?" you scoff, feeling your heart race in your chest. "the only thing i'm jealous of is that beanpole blonde's attention." you say. "i would very much like to be confessed to as often as he gets!"

"you would hate it," yamaguchi chuckles, "you don't even like getting attention. especially from guys."

you click your tongue, not knowing how to disagree with him. "maybe, but it wouldn't hurt to have it happen once in a while, you know?" you sigh, "i can't go my entire life without experiencing a confession!"

you must've had a terrible past life to have such an unlucky dating experience. you've never had a guy ask you out. and while you don't like to be arrogant you consider yourself cute and a decent person—more so decent than glasses-kun.

"well, more guys would approach you if it wasn't for tsukki." yamaguchi says, and immediately upon speaking covers his mouth.

you raise a brow at your friend, "eh? what do you mean by that?"

before he can answer, you huff, "you're telling me blondie is messing up my love life? what does he gain from doing that?" you huff, feeling irritated that the number of cute boys you could've encountered is very little due to the fact that they were being cockblocked by the most annoying person on the planet.

yamaguchi would never tell you, and god bless your soul, but he's forever thankful for how oblivious you are at times. his skin is saved from having to explain to tsukishima why his crush on you has been outed.

but on the other hand, he desperately wants these confession shenanigans to be over with and for the two of you to confess to each other. to him, it's painfully obvious that there are shared feelings but neither one of you want to acknowledge the fact that there's something going on. he'd rather take the risk of tsukishima biting his head off if it means you two will end up together.

"let's just say that the two of you complain about each other too much for there not to be something going on between you two." yamaguchi says. "i just wish you'd both make out with each other or something."

panic swarms you, at the meer thought of locking lips with blondie. "tadashi, i would never be caught kissing him. i'd rather be dead." you say sternly, although an itch in your throat tells you otherwise.

"yeah, i totally got the vibe of that earlier when he came over to see if you were okay." he laughs, rolling his eyes.

"it didn't mean anything, he was just oddly nice..." you argue, the rapid beating of your heart mocking you.

the sudden silence could be cut through with a knife as you two walk. your knuckles grip your bag tightly as you focus on your feet in front of you.

"your crush never went away, right?" yamaguchi stops walking and looks at you intently.

when you don't respond, he knows his answer.

"that's another reason why i don't like getting these confessions. i don't want to see you get hurt by all of this." he reveals, his hand gripping the pink envelope he was given earlier.

"it doesn't matter, though. what i feel is irrelevant.” you shrug.

yamaguchi perks up, a light bulb going off. he presses the envelope to your hands. "you give this to him. you can find out what he says about the letter and how it makes him feel. he might act differently. that way, you can also decide if those feelings for him are still there, or if you've moved on. if you haven’t, then confess."

you turn away, not taking the envelope. your feet then move briskly. "what makes you think that he would accept my confession? there's no way he would."

"what's stopping you?" he presses, following you. "you don't know that unless you try."

a sharp exhale of air escapes you, your nerves taking your own words out of your mouth. "because i don't want to make a relationship awkward possibly. besides, he'll just make fun of me for having a crush on him and then reject me. so no way is tsukki going to accept it."

"he wouldn't do that. and you know he wouldn't. look, we both know tsukki better than anyone else does. i'm surprised at how blind you are to how he feels about you. or maybe you're denying it?"

before you can reply, you realize you've reached your apartment.

"just think about telling him? it'll ease your mind somehow, won't it? at least you'll have your answer and you can stop letting this eat at you the way it has for years." yamaguchi says, concern written on his face.

you sigh. "sure, tadashi. i'll think about it."

you don't get a wink of sleep that night. and despite you wanting more time to think, you are meeting up with tsukishima and yamaguchi to hangout the next day. so even if you want to put off your thoughts about the situation, you can't.

"you look like shit," tsukishima says once you sit down at the cafe the three of you always meet up at. "like a zombie with the life is sucked out of them.”

“wow, how did you guess?” you say, response dripping with sarcasm.

a guilty look appears on his face before he changes it to a softer expression. "here, i already ordered for you." he says, pushing your favorite order across the counter.

"oh, thank you. you didn't have to." you reach into your bag to pay him back, but he pushes your hand away, a grimace on his face.

"yeah, well i did anyways." he says, turning away. a faint hue of pink can be seen across his cheeks. “you should really try not to over exert yourself. we can’t afford to have our manager collapsing.”

you stare at the drink, mind rambling. “right…”

tsukishima distracts himself with the time, noticing how late yamaguchi is. it isn’t like him to be late. once the male checks his phone, everything clicks into place.

"tadashi says he won't be able to make it to the movies." tsukishima tells you, slipping his phone back in his pocket.

"really?" you go to pull your own phone out of your bag to check, but something else catches your eyes first.

the pink envelope.

you gasp, gritting your teeth. "tadashi, you bastard..." you hiss, wondering when he slipped it into your bag.

"yeah, something about feeling sick..." the tall man's eyes slide down to look at you, and as attentive as he is he asks, "what are you grumbling about?"

you eyes glance between him and the letter, panic washes over you as you try to improvise a lie.

tsukishima leans over, peering into your bag. “what is that?” he asks.

solemnly, you hand him the pink envelope. cotton has lodged itself in your throat but you manage. "this...this is for you."

“from?” he questions, but he already knows it’s not you. you don’t dot your i’s like that.

“the usual. some girl with a crush on you.” you answer, “she didn’t know how to give it you directly.”

opening the letter, his brown eyes scan the contents carefully, silence overcoming him as he drinks in each word.

meanwhile, your heart races rapidly. you can feel yourself beginning to spiral in your mind, thinking of all the possibilities of what could happen next after he finishes reading the letter. instead of hearing anything, the blonde simply puts the letter back in the envelope.

“let’s go.” he says, standing up to leave.

wait...that's it? you watch him leave the cafe and scramble after him, confusion trailing you.

when you catch up to tsukishima, your eyes glance at him, trying to gauge anything. something.

"well?" you ask, brow arching up.

"'well' what?" he replies, staring at you expressionless.

"are you...going to accept?" you prod, leg bouncing.

the man seems to contemplate your question, not answering for a moment. the anticipation is killing you. swallowing you whole. you have to say something before you’re buried alive.

"don't accept that confession." you blurt.

"huh?" the blonde slips the envelope in his pocket. "and why not?"

you shift uncomfortably in your spot. "b-because."

"'b-because', isn't an answer. i hope you're aware." he mocks before stepping closing to you, a sly smirk on his face. "why do you look like you're about to throw up? is the thought of me getting a confession that repulsive to you?"

"shut up!" you hiss, the burning in your cheeks spreading like wildfire now. "i never said that."

"you didn't have to. your face said everything that i needed to know." he replies, "why are you so eager to know anyways?"

you shrug, "i mean, we're friends right? why wouldn't i be curious?"

a soft chuckle leaves him. it's pretty, and pretty looks very good on him. how annoying for your nerves. "right, and let's say i do accept the confession. what would you do then?"

you blink, your hands clammy, body scorching at this point. "dunno, maybe throw a party with a sign that says 'congrats kei, you're lovable after all'."

"you're a horrible liar, you know. it's very annoying." tsukishima scowls, grabbing your wrist and turning you to look at him.

"who said i was going to accept the confession?" he tilts his head to the side, leaning in slightly. "hmm? i think you put that idea in that pretty head of yours all by yourself."

you huff, irritated by his teasing manner."it's not funny to joke like that."

he blinks. "when did i make a joke?"

"you always do...i don't understand you, tsukishima." at this point you can feel your face burning up. you look away from the blonde, frustrated and also internally panicking. when you go to walk away, his large hand catches your wrist, pulling you back.

"so now we're back to tsukishima?" he asks, distaste in his tone.

you bite your lip, too scared to say anything.

he clicks his tongue. "listen, i didn't have to read the letter to know my answer. i didn't even need to receive one. i've already had my mind made up."

a soft 'oh' leaves your mouth. "is that right?"

"yes, because i already have feelings for someone." he confesses, and your heart nearly stops.

you weren't expecting this at all. you bargained for more than you wanted, but it’s your fault and your fault alone. you start to yell in your head about how wrong yamaguchi is, about how you're too late to confess now, because someone else has already stolen—

"this is for you." tsukishima hands a eerily similar pink envelope to you with a small plushie. your eyes widen as you look at the plush, recognizing that it's your favorite animal. you remember talking about how you still sleep with stuffed animals and made the mistake of having tsukishima overhear you. the teasing that day never ended.

when squeezing the plush to you, you're surprised to hear it play your favorite song. reading the letter, you recognize the handwriting as his immediately. you're familiar with how he loops his y's and g's. you recognize the eloquence in his words. but you feel alien reading how he pours his emotions—about you—into words. words that are a lot kinder and sweeter than his usual moments.

"why would i joke about my feelings?" he answers, pulling at his hands, fingers fidgeting. "if you don't reciprocate them—"

"no! i-i mean, yes! yes, i do!" your face is on fire at this point. "i'm just shocked, i-i wasn't expecting—"

"for someone to be into someone like you?" he finishes.

you blink, stunned by his response. "well, yeah."

and tsukishima kei does what tsukishima kei does best.

he flicks your forehead.

he rubs the spot where he flicked your forehead and his gaze becomes soft as he stares at you, his large hands not pulling back from how it gently cradles your face.

"i've been into your annoying ass since you yelled at those bullies for picking on tadashi." he mumbles, a fond look in his eyes.

your eyes look over him rapidly. "i don't get it. how? why?"

he pinches your cheek, rolling his eyes. "you keep saying that and it's really annoying." he continues, "it's simple. you're...you're a much better person than i am. you're smart...and funny. and you understand me even when my words don't always say what i mean. you've pushed me to be a better person." he tries to make himself smaller, wanting to escape his vulnerability, but it's hard when you're a walking lamppost.

"i can't stand the sight of other guys looking at you. at thinking they have a chance with you. call me a hypocrite because i know i'm the last person who deserves a chance with you, but—" he cuts himself off, fiddling his his hands.

"but what, kei?" you push, heart pounding.

"but i want one anyways. i've never felt like this with anyone before and i don't want to stop now. i...i'm willing to take the chance to ask to go out with you...even if i know you deserve better than me." he explains, head bowing low.

this time, you reach up and flick his forehead.

"ow? what the hell, dumbass?" he scowls.

"it's annoying when you do that, too," you say, teasing, "you always undermine how brilliant you are and it has to stop. you may be an asshole, but you're also perceptive, and caring, even if you don't really know how to show it in conventional ways."

he doesn't say anything because he knows you're right.

you speak again. "for the record, i think that you're pretty amazing. and a lot of other people think so too. learn to give yourself more credit, kei."

"i can say the same about you." he says, brushing hair back from your face. his eyes shift down to your lips before looking away just as quickly. his single strand of vulnerability left snaps.

"c-can i kiss you?" he stutters, and you're shocked to see the snarky blonde asshole you know in such a shy state.

"yes," you breathe, "please."

he can’t resist when you ask so nicely and look so pretty right in front of him.

and what you learn is that kei's kisses are sweeter than any words that can come out of his smart mouth. how that is possible, you don't know. but you surely don't mind at all.

he tugs you close to his body, his scent overtaking your senses. he smells like mint and whatever cologne he put on today and it's easily your new favorite aroma.

you pull away and can't help but note how pretty kei looks after kissing. hair disheveled, swollen lips, glossy eyes, and glasses nearly falling off his face. you quietly laugh and push the frames back up his face.

"i love you, you know." you say, holding his face.

he leans into you, kissing your palm as he reciprocates the words in a quiet voice. a quirk in his lips and he adds, "i would hope you do. i don't want to be seen having to return to build-a-bear for a second time to return a bear."

you grin, holding up the bear teasingly. "this plush?"

"oni-chan said i should give you something...that you'd appreciate. it's yours as long as you don't replace me with it." he answers, red creeping up his neck. "if you do, i'll return it."

"don't worry, kei. i promise not to replace you with a stuffed animal when i need cuddles." you latch onto his arm, clinging to him easily. he tugs you impossibly closer.

sending yamaguchi a text thank you and a picture of you with your new bear—now named tadashi—with an annoyed tsukishima holding you tight in the photo. 'new family photo! you were right!'.

yamaguchi only grins at the message, laying back on his bed as he smiles. his work as cupid is over. he'd figure out the third wheeling issue later.

for now, mission accomplished.

do not copy and or repost. likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated though! (c) 2022 hyeque

[lunexrin]

KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE !

"Why the hell would you do that?!" "Did you think I wanted to?! Your germs... Ew.”

Blurb: A few glimpses of certain episodes if you and Tsukishima Kei were in a shoujo anime!

Genre/Tropes: academic rivals, slice of life, shoujo, romance, slow burn (?).

Reader: fem. (you will be addressed as 'Seiu' which is your supposed last name because i hate putting 'y/n' in my writings. it feels like a turn-off, for me.)

WC: 4.7k.

A/N: oh my god it has been so long?? this idea came from back in SEPTEMBER, on his birthday. and yes it took that long to finish *insert crying emoji*. this is my longest work so far (7 jan 24). but i don’t really like it? i think it’s tedious. i apologize for any grammar mistakes, and would love any feedbacks or critics *insert crying emoji again*.

“Aw, look at you,” He cooed, and you're actually contemplating on smashing your head straight into the glass window of your class rather than hearing his taunts to degrade your scores on this stupid, science quiz.

His pale, slender fingers came into your harsh gaze, watching him tap the wood of your desk in an unknown yet familiar rhythm, gazing down at you. “Why the sour face? You got a ninety-nine, your scores are higher than most in this class— ah!” He snapped his fingers like something suddenly clicked in his mind that he definitely hadn’t thought of before and that he definitely wasn’t using it to brag about it. “But I don’t think you’re the highest, though..”

Darn him for getting the highest. Darn him for getting a hundred.

You could just see him grinning like the fucking Cheshire cat even though your eyes are still glued on your scores.

Ninety-nine. And a little ‘good job’ note the science teacher wrote on the side, with a little smiley face next to it.

Now, why the hell did that smiley face seem like it's mocking you?

“Hey,” he crouched down, resting his forearms on the edge of your desk, and looked into your eyes, his smirk growing bigger. You looked back at him, and your eyes narrowed. “Thought you were crying for a sec.”

You felt offended and immediately went defensive. “I was not!” You exclaimed, accidentally slamming your arms on the desk louder than intended, resulting in dozens of heads turning, and a disapproving look of your teacher from the front of the class.

“Good. You were too quiet, made me uncomfortable.” 

You opened your mouth to continue the argument, but before you could say anything, the teacher spoke. “Seiu! Tsukishima!” You both turned towards the teacher, and she gauged her eyes at you both. You knew what she meant, and so you slumped back in your chair defeatedly, while the blonde returned to his seat— that was unfortunately next to you— triumphantly.

“Remember the deal.” He whispered from his seat, scoffing while he took out his notebook and pens. 

You sighed and clenched your jaw. “Fine. I’ll get you the darn strawberry shortcake after school.”

“I was afraid that you’d run off,” He was leaning against the wall, close to the gates of your school. “You can be a little cranky about saving a few pennies, don’t you?” He took off his headphones, letting out a small chuckle.

Yes, you can be cranky about money, but a promise is a promise.

There's this stupid bet, or dare I say a tradition where after every quiz, debate, and exam— the one who tops gets to ask the other to buy whatever they wish.

“The usual?” You asked, with the most deadpan expression you could’ve pulled. Tsukishima burst out laughing at that, pointing his finger at your face and mocking every little detail he could.

“It’s either you shut that darn mouth of yours or the strawberry shortcake—”

“Okay, okay! The— pfft— the strawberry shortcake, sure sure.” 

You dragged him out of the school gates by the end of his uniform, and he laughed again.

So annoying.

He sees that you are leading him (dragging him) around the familiar streets that lead to the café that you both always went to, ever since freshman year.

He sighed. “The usual it is.”

A few moments passed by, and you both fell into a comfortable silence, which was almost too good to be true. You often just stared at the long shadows on the ground, following you and Tsukishima’s every little movement. Once in a while, crows would caw as they fly high up in the sky, making you look up to the orange-purple skies, the orange rays illuminating your eyes.

At times you overlooked nature, and sometimes you just lost yourself in it.

And at times you overlooked the way your heart beats faster when he looked at you like this— under the sunset where no other soul was near.

“What?” You asked, looking at him in the corner of your eye. Your heart beat faster when you saw him literally glowing under the sun, looking at you with a smile that seemed a whole lot more genuine than you’d like it to be.

He scoffed, staring up at the sky, and then at you. You noticed the two tiny twinkles of light in his golden brown eyes— wait, since when was it there and why are you noticing it just now?

“Nothing, pipsqueak.” He says, staring up ahead with a cheeky grin.

The familiar ding of the bell echoed through the empty, dim-lighted bakery, the nostalgic aroma of freshly baked bread and brewed coffee hits your nostrils, feeling at home.

A small smile curved on your lips, and a sigh of contentment escaped your lips. "Home sweet home." You said, eyes twinkling in fondness.

Making your way towards the counter, you paid for everything that you would be indulging, including his strawberry shortcake that looked ridiculously good. Sitting in the very corner of the small shop, you got yourself lost in the atmosphere as the rain fell outside. 

You rested your head atop the wooden table, eyes watching out the race of rain droplets to see which one won, just like when you were a kid— when life was nothing but sunshine and rainbows, unlike now, where everything felt so nonchalant to you, for some reason.

Shamelessly, you kept your mouth stuffed with the cream bread you'd always eat, ever since you discovered this precious of a place. Glancing at the male who's apparently just as caught up with the rain as you are, stuffing his mouth with some strawberry, you begin talking (with your mouth full, still.)

"Are you ever going to try something else?" Your eyes shot to the cake, then back to him. He scrunched up his nose, an expression of disgust as he saw your stuffed mouth. You rolled your eyes, not caring. "It's not like you ever tried anything else— and stop eating like that. It's not like the bread would run off—"

"It's not like the bread would run off." You mimicked him, and he gritted his teeth. "Annoying little shit." He whispered, sipping at the warm coffee to try to keep his cool.

"I didn't know you had a habit of talking to yourself." You smirked, glancing at the tall, clear jug filled with water right in between you both on the table, doing a splendid job at reflecting himself on it. His eyes shot open, glaring at you and the poor jug.

"You weren't this talkative earlier," he said, setting his coffee on the table. "Finally getting over your marks?" He asked, his smirk returning which made your eyes roll.

"Bastard."

“Oi, Seiu.” He almost grumbled out your name, your ears catching the sounds of flipping papers, even through the headphones sitting on your head.

“What?” You replied groggily, taking off your headphones. You’re just about to fall asleep but he ruined it!

You were slumped next to him on the train, temple resting against the cold, metal railing on your side. Maybe it’s because of the scorching weather this July that you felt so incredibly exhausted— all your willpower was drained out at school earlier, and coming to cram school to violate your energy and brain further certainly doesn’t help your current state in any way.

You feel as if your soul is going to be sucked out, yet he’s still reviewing the papers? Doesn’t he feel tired or something?

“English essay papers. The one the teacher graded earlier.” His palm was lazily exposed in front of you, expecting the marked sheets to arrive in it upon his demand. Tsukishima doesn’t know what ‘asking’ is.

“You can still study?” You mumbled, eyes narrowing as you rummaged through your bag. Wrinkles formed on your forehead when your eyes turned into thin slits trying to search for what you wanted, the blur decorating your eyes not subsiding as quickly as you wanted it to.

“You’re going to get old faster than anyone else with that frown of yours.” His voice was lower than usual, but the playful spark remained. His banter was replied to only by the click of your tongue. You’re too tired to joke around.

When you finally found it, you shoved the crumpled sheets into his hand and slumped your head back onto the railing. “Don’t you know what rest is?” You said, sighing as you got into a more comfortable position, forgetting about the device hanging on your neck.

“I need to work harder to beat you.” His eyes narrowed as he read the messy scribbling of your writing, but he can’t deny how he adored your talent to form a masterpiece with a foreign land’s words, every. single. time.

“You’ve already beaten me a lot of times, didn’t you?” At times like this when your consciousness stays for the sake of a conversation, you’re more truthful, or maybe even less hostile. You didn’t have the energy to have an ongoing banter with him no more.

Even though your vision was black, you could feel his eyes glued to you. You were expecting some witty comebacks to launch from his mouth, but he was silent, for a while. It’s deafening.

It almost makes you uneasy.

“I’m not as smart as you, Seiu.” He finally blurted out, but it was so quiet.

Your eyelids fluttered open just slightly as if you couldn’t believe your ears.

He beat you every single time, so what nonsense is spitting out from his mouth? Did the weather get to him too? Until he’s feeling ‘under the weather’? (With all puns intended.)

Ironically as that thought finished, the rain fell. Hard. 

You moved the back of your head towards the glass window instead, the coldness of the rain droplets spreading through the glass sent a wave of relief onto your body.

You eyed him from the corner of your eye. That bad posture, the metal frame that sits atop the bridge of his nose that looked like it was about to fall any second from now, the crumpled sheets that were lucky enough to feel the caress of his slender fingers—

You’re doing it again. You’re too observant at times like this, it’s more than necessary.

“You’re insane.” You snorted, closing your eyes again.

“You’re a fucking genius without trying, Seiu.” It’s his time to sigh, almost frustrated. “You don’t even try.”

It’s true. You’re lazy. You hardly even try and yet you score all of your exams.

“If ever someday you decided to pick up a book and scribble more notes..” He drifted off, and you’re kind of eager for him to continue.

“I’m done for.” He mumbled.

What a compliment, you thought. Maybe you would’ve grinned cheekily if you had the energy, but you don’t.

“Wow.” That’s all you could utter.

You could hear him huff as if he was regretting what he said.

“Just don’t get all romantic and don’t sleep on my shoulder.” He mumbled, the sound of turning pages starting again.

“I don’t want your cooties either.”

“Good night, Seiu.”

You both snorted out loud.

It was P.E., and another class had joined yours’ to play.

It was a warming-up session, and everyone needed to jog a few laps before playing.

You weren’t exactly the sporty type that had a lot of stamina, and you never liked running. The summer was taking a toll on you again, and you were slower than usual— than everyone. You were at the very back when the other girls were a few meters away. You’re not too slow, but not that fast enough.

Behind you were the boys, from your class and the other. You didn’t pay much to them and kept jogging.

You did notice a couple of times that Tsukishima was staring at you, and even when you caught his gaze, his eyes were still on you. It was nothing new, just that same old glare he always gives you.

You heard laughter erupting from behind, footsteps becoming louder as a group of guys caught up beside you. One of them pushed the other and he ended up bumping into you hard. You fell, scraping your knee and palms in the process.

All you heard next was laughter. Mocking ones, from both the guys and— whom you thought was— your friends.

It turns out the one who bumped into you was someone you had a few problems with in the past. He was your… not enough to be a former lover, far from a friend but yet, he’s no stranger. He held a grudge against you, it seems.

The guy laughed along, as well.

It was only for a few seconds the scene unfolded, but it felt like an eternity of humiliation.

Did Tsukishima join them?

You slowly got yourself up, the burn in your knee only increasing with each inch you elevated from the ground. 

Halfway through, someone grabbed your upper arm and shoulder tight, slowly helping you up. Those pale, slender arms..

Tsukishima.

Exaggerated gasps were heard, and whispers were accentuated. Honestly, you would’ve acted the same way, if you were them. 

Tsukishima… helped. He didn’t make fun of you.

You heard him click his tongue, and you raised your head just enough to see the scowl on his face, and the way he glared at the guys from earlier.

“Can’t you fucking see she was next to you?” He cursed, and everyone fell silent. Everyone was always a little wary of him, even scared. His height was intimidating, but seeing him in such a way was a lot scarier.

Even you haven’t seen him this angry.

The teacher jogged over, a tense expression on his face.

“Tsukishima-kun, enough. You can go on and I’ll put her aside—“

“Don’t bother, sensei.” He quickly cut the teacher off, eyes glued to the fuckers that were too irrelevant to be in the same place as he is.

“I don’t feel like playing football with people who are clearly blind.” He snickered, almost mocking them.

He brought you under a tree, and you freed your wrist from his grasp and slumped against the tree. Your head was down low as if the skin of your legs had some ancient scripture that you were so persistent on staring at. A large shadow emerged, and turns out it was him standing in front of you with his hands on his hips, eyes ahead staring at the other students.

Don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry.

“Don’t worry.” He tried to reassure, but he sounded a little too bitter— he’s not used to it. “I won’t let them see how ugly you are when you cry.”

You cried anyway.

“Know how to treat a wound?” He asked as if he wouldn’t already do it himself as he rummaged through the cabinets.

Your silence in speaking and a few sniffles are enough to tell.

He sighed, reaching for a box filled with stuff that’ll help heal your wound— only on the outside, though. It’ll only help what’s on the surface, only helping your scraped skin, but the humiliation inside? Who knows how long the tear of your heart will last? Who knows who is going to tape it up for you, saying everything will be okay?

A small part of your heart’s tear was stitched up already at the sight of him getting down on one knee in front of you, getting the band-aids, antiseptic, tweezers, and cotton wools out.

“What’s the point in hiring nurses if they’re just never going to show up to work?” He rambled on like an old grandma, complaining how he needed to do everything himself. 

But really, even if the nurses were here and you were being tended to, he’ll never really leave you. He’s treating you like you needed all the help in the world as if you were in a coma or something.

The rustling of the bed sheets when you squirmed, the annoyingly strong scent of the antiseptic throughout the whole room, and Tsukishima’s rambles as he treated your wound made you… strangely emotional.

Your shoulders shook rather violently, and your gaze blurred with the salty liquid once again.

His eyes widened upon taking in your appearance, drawing the cotton wool soaked with medicine away from your wound as quickly as time allowed it.

“Woah, woah, woah, hey! Does it hurt that bad?!” He almost yelled, and did he not panic like the world was going to end.

“Okay, look— okay I’ll stop! I told you to prepare yourself beforehand—”

“Arigato, Tsukishima-kun.”

You wailed like your life had crumbled— looking back, it was kind of funny with the snot and everything, he’ll definitely tease you for that later— and you sobbed your heart away. You didn’t even cry like this when a relative died but you cried when someone insisted on treating your wound? Wow.

And Tsukishima? His face could be taken as pure gold. He was dumbfounded, with wide eyes while staring at you crying like so. In literal words, it’s best to say he malfunctioned. You were crying way harder than before, you’re crying harder now than when you fell!

You keep sucking back in the snot that threatens to goo down their way, wiping your tears rather harshly, but it kept coming down anyway. It was embarrassing, but you couldn’t stop crying.

You heard him sigh. 

“You’re disgusting, Seiu.” He said, though not much disgust was evident in his voice. 

You felt a soft cloth arrive on your face, the fabric particularly covering your nose. You stopped your wail and looked at him, blinking rapidly as you were confused about what he was trying to do.

“Blow it out.” He said defeatedly, sighing as he looked away.

Sprettttt!

He crunched his nose upon hearing the noise, his glasses lifted slightly in the process before settling down to its original position.

“Again.”

Sprreettttttttt!

“I kind of feel bad for Seiu.”

You stopped dead in your tracks, and so did Tsukishima. 

It was that group of guys again, and the one who spoke was the one that, well… the one that bumped into you.

“You still like her?” One of his friends said, and the others fell silent.

You both were standing on the top of the stairs like a fool, like deers caught in the headlights. But the question is, why did Tsukishima stop too?!

“I don’t!” He quickly denied but the others burst out into laughter and a series of teasing ‘oooh's.

Your class was just right there. Why did they have to walk through the hallway where your class was located, when there were a dozen others? You don’t want to come across them! Your cheeks were puffy, your eyes were red. You didn’t want them to know you cried, especially not when they were the reason. (Well, partly of the reason).

“Seiu’s quite sensitive. What if she’s like.. I don’t know!” He grumbled.

“Aw, you worried that she cried? You still like her!” Another laughter erupted.

“That’s her class, isn’t it? Where is she?”

They were peeking through the windows, but of course, you’re not there, you’re hiding in the corner of the hallway like a fool.

“She’s not there.” One said, confused.

“Oi… Tsukishima’s not there either.” Some of them gasped, and some of them went silent.

“I think.. Seiu and Tsukishima—” 

Tsukishima grabbed your hand, his gaze hard. He wasn’t looking at you though, but just staring into the clear windows in front of you both, as if he was waiting to get caught or.. as if he was ready to do something.

“Don’t say things like that!” The guy defensively said, his voice raising an octave. He still has feelings for you, it seems.

“But don’t you think it makes sense? They’re always together,”

They’re getting closer. Their footsteps are getting louder, and your body just tensed. Tsukishima squeezed your hand harder, and you looked at him through your sore, reddish eyes. 

You wanted to get out of here, but you can’t just run to somewhere else in the building. You need to get into class, and it’s almost time. You’ll get a cleaning punishment if you’re late, and you don’t want to involve Tsukishima in any of it already. He’s done more than enough.

“—For the last time, they are not!” They were just around the corner, and their shoes came into your sight.

“I just.. I just want to apologize to Seiu and—”

Everything shut down.

Your ears were ringing, succumbing to a forced silence, your whole body refusing to react to anything else.

Your back against the wall.

His hand on your waist.

Your glasses clashing onto each other’s.

His lips on top of yours.

Tsukishima… was kissing you.

Shielding you, almost.

A loud, erratic pair of footsteps ran to the opposite side, kicking you both out to reality once again.

Then followed by a few others.

The ringing slowly subsided, and your irises moved.

Oh, they’re gone.

Your irises drifted to the ones in front of you, the pair being the most nastiest, gorgeous golden brown eyes you have ever seen.

His eyes have twinkles in them.

Don’t know if it has always been there or if you only noticed it now, but it’s pretty.

Ethereal.

The loud ring of the school bell rang, and you both flinched and covered your ears— you’re literally below one.

It snapped you back to the current situation. For real, this time.

Wide eyes, you looked at him, gasping.

A little too late to act shocked now, but oh well.

“Why did you do that?!” You yelled into his face, mouth agape. He seems just as shocked as you were, cheeks painted with crimson tints.

“Did you think I wanted to?!” He looked away, eyes frantic.

“Your germs…” He covered his lips with his hand, wiping it down gently with his palm. “Ew.” He stared at his palm blankly.

Is that a cover-up… or was he actually disgusted?

You bolted into class.

And so did he. (Well, after a few seconds of standing there like a pole).

You couldn't help but glance at him throughout the entire day, barely even focusing on what's been taught ahead of you. You kept fidgeting with whatever you could, with your fingers, sliding your feet from one place to the other and whatnot.

No matter how much you tried, your gaze would return to him.

You saw how he'd stare at you from the corners of his eyes, albeit you pretended not to notice. You noticed how he glided his fingertips over his lips, over and over. You noticed how he zoned out, just like you did.

He barely ever loses focus.

Was he thinking of the kiss, just like how you did?

You had hoped that was the case so you wouldn't be the only one who looked like a dumbstruck, confused fool. And you just prayed that he wouldn't pretend as if nothing had happened because it wasn't. It was one hell of a situation to just throw it over your heads as if it wasn't anything— you both seriously need to talk.

Without noticing, the vibrant azure skies turned orange, and the familiar tone of ringing echoed through the school's speakers, noting that it was time to return home.

You got up as slow as you could, eyeing Tsukishima who was frozen in his seat. You packed your things and shoved them into your bag, the chair screeching quietly across the floor as you stood up.

"Tsukki." Your voice knocked him back from his series of pondering, flinching upon hearing you speak. He looked at you, almost nervous.

"Yeah?"

"Time to go home." You mumbled, stating the obvious. Might as well mention that the grass is green.

He packed his bag in no rush. It was as if he was trying to slow down his moves, though his intentions remained unclear. He looked guilty almost, his lips pressed into a thin line.

"We need to talk about earlier." You blurted out, and he froze. His bent figure slowly straightened, and a long shadow of his figure emerged and decorated the walls— how did you even manage to catch that? Well, maybe because you were looking at everything but his eyes.

"I thought you didn't want to talk about it." He mumbled, finally facing you. He stared down at you before looking away, scratching at the back of his head.

You took a few steps backward, sitting against the still of an opened window. The wind gushes through your air, making you shiver slightly. The heat was no joke, and the intensity of the situation only escalated it.

"How could I not?" Your voice turned quiet as you stared at the ground. "I can't just go on and pretend nothing happened." You began fiddling with your fingers.

"Why did you do it?" You whispered almost shakily.

"I don't know." He whispered back.

"Do you... like me?" 

Not once did it ever cross your mind to have feelings for him, but now you knew. Now you know why at certain times you tend to be so observant of every little thing that he does. Like how beautiful his eyes look under the sunlight, how gently he turns the pages of your paper sheets as if he was afraid to leave a single crumple, how he manages to insult you every time but never goes too far to actually hurt your feelings—

Now you knew.

The pounding of your heart was because of him. The very presence of him around you calms you down like after a storm and yet manages to roar it wildly and harder than ever.

You, Seiu, have fallen for him. 

Your question was left hanging with no audible answer that left his mouth. Silence.

Something bottled up inside you and it was going to explode.

"I can't believe you." You snarled and gripped the metal still of the window. "Is kissing a random girl in the name of helping just so normal to you? Is that how you help? Without even considering how she feels— how I feel?"

"Seiu—"

"For you, it might not be anything important," You sniffled, tears rolling down. You lost count of how many times you cried. "But it is important, for me—"

Your breath hitched when his lips landed on yours again. 

Damn, at least let me finish. You thought.

His fingers crept onto your cheeks, cradling them ever so gently. His thumb wiped away the tears wetting your skin. He tilted his head to get a better angle and his kiss got softer by each second. 

"Can't you at least kiss me back?" He mumbled against your lips, eyes still closed as if he was afraid to see your reaction.

You finally closed your eyes, moving your lips again his own by following an unknown flow. The second he got a response from you, his other hand pulled you in closer by your waist, pressing your bodies together. The sudden touch combined with the wind that attacked your back made you shiver. His hand moved and pressed onto your back, rubbing up and down to soothe you.

You let out a shaky breath through your nose, and the wave of relief and pleasure spread throughout your body into every vein and muscle. Your hands found their way linked at the back of his head in which you daringly pulled him closer.

You couldn't get enough. Kiss after kiss, breath after breath, you caught his lips again once you both sucked in a breath to continue. His glasses kept clashing with yours with every movement, and he attempted to take it off.

"It's okay, leave them on." You mumbled and took his hand away. You love his square glasses. You'd never want him to take it off.

He only smirked against your lips, the adorable sharp fang of his showing. "You didn't even let me finish earlier, and now you just can't stop, can't you?" He sighed and pressed his lips to yours again.

"And yeah, I like you, Seiu."

© 2024 lunexrin, do not copy, translate or repost my works on any other website without proper credits.

[opallllhehe]

I can just imagine mean tsukishima, ugh it makes my imaginary dick so unbelievably hard (≧∀≦)💗

Mean tsuki never letting you cum. You’ll be a panting mess, basically crying on his dick as you look up at him through tear soaked lashes and he’ll give you the benefit of the doubt; the sweetest smile he can muster up after playing with your pussy for an hour, and whisper oh so sweetly in your ear that ,“Yes, yes. You can cum. it’s okay sweet girl, I’ll make you cum.” He pats the side of your face and your eyes light up, new found relief pulsing through your veins as a few more tears roll down your face.

“Yes— yes! yesyesyes-” Your eyes roll back as your nails dig into tsukishima's shoulders while he bounces you up and down on his dick. God, he feels amazing inside of you, scraping against your plush walls and hitting that spot so deep inside of you (I know you know what I’m talking about) that it hurts but feels so good. Along with a little clit rubbing and it sends your body rushing towards your climax. Your hips jumping erratically against his hips, his big hands clamping onto your sides so tightly you could feel them already starting to hurt. Your so so close, leaning your head against his chest and throwing your arms around his neck, you could feel it so prominently the force of your climax coming in waves, it’s there oh god it’s,

“No, no— Kei! You- you said I could! Please, Keii—! How could you d-do—”

Gone.

“Oh my poor baby, M’ so sorry my hands must’ve slipped. Didn't mean to pull you off, whoops.” You were clenching around air, slick coating your inner thighs as you breathlessly cried out.

And he would make promise after promise, but never let you cum.

“S’ sorry angel. So, so sorry. Dnt’ mean to.”

“Oh, my bad.”

“Shh, s’ okay baby. M’ sorry let me put it back in, you can cum this time, okay? Promise.”

“Ok, last time.”

“This is really the last time. Mk’ I know that m’ sorry I said it 13 times already. I’m sorry, you can really do it this time, promise.”

[scarfwrites]

Fake Dating

❅Genre : Fluff  / Crack , Angst

❅Pairings: Iwaizumi x Reader 

                     Tsukishima x Reader

                     Kuroo x Reader 

❅Warnings: Angst, mentions of cheating but not the reader, vulgar language, a lotta crack cuz it's the seijoh 4, sexual because tumblr said so

❅Word Count: 10,395

❅A/N: OKAY THE IWAIZUMI ONE MIGHT BE VERY SELF INDULGENT BUT I CAN’T HELP IT I LOVE HIM

I also cried writing his 

Iwaizumi

“Make sure you don’t miss that spike! Y/N-chan’s watching~~” Oikawa teased as Iwaizumi looked over to you almost missing his spike making the third years laugh

“YOU ALMOST MISSED!” Makki teasingly yelled from across the court

“Aww, Iwa-chan I didn’t know you wanted to impress Y/N-chan that badly!” Oikawa laughed loudly but soon stopped once a very angry Iwaizumi glaring at him

“I swear I’ll fucking kill you if you do that again” Iwaizumi threatened making the setter gulp

“Luckily Iwaizumi won’t do that in front of Y/N” Kindaichi whispered to the other lower years

“Alright Let’s all take a water break!” Matsun yelled holding a bunch of water bottles

The whole team expected you to greet them with your usual lunches that you’d prepare for all of them. But instead, they were greeted with a very bummed-looking Y/N watching their phone.

“Looks like they didn’t see what happened earlier, lucky you” Makki teased as Iwaizumi looked at him with annoyance

“Yahoo Y/N-chan! I hope you have your lunches you pack they’re delicious!” Oikawa exclaimed happily getting zero response from you

“They look really distracted  with their phone” Yahaba pointed out as he drank from his water bottle

“Hello? Earth to Y/N!” Oikawa yelled waving a hand in front of your face

“Huh? Oh are you all done?” you asked as everyone gave you weird looks

“We’re having a water break” Matsun said sitting down

“Yeah and where are those lunches you usually pack” Oikawa asked as you looked through your bag

“Here they are” you spoke sadly as you gave Oikawa your packed lunch making everyone concerned

“Thanks! I was starving!” Oikawa said in relief as Iwaizumi smacked the back of his head

“Nevermind that,  is something wrong?” Iwaizumi asked sitting next to you

“Yeah where's that happy-go-lucky Y/N we all love” Makki said as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders

“Sorry, It’s just I’ve got a family gathering in a few days” you folded your arms laying your head on them

“That doesn’t sound that bad” Watari said confused

“No no you don’t get it” you sighed “Every year we have a big family gathering and I always get asked if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend or whatever” you continued

“Well, do you?” Oikawa asked curiously as he ate 

“No, and that's the problem” you sigh in frustration “If I show up there without one they’re gonna hook me up with some egotistical dunce face and if that doesn’t work out they’ll send another one” you scowled

“Yeesh sounds stupid” Matsun patted your back

“Yeah all because ‘I’m currently the only person in the family without a partner and they don’t want me to die like an old maid’” you mocked sarcastically

“Well, why don’t you hire a s/o? Can’t you rent a s/o here?” Oikawa suggested

“That’s too expensive I have nowhere near enough to rent one” you sighed

“Why don’t you follow Oikawa’s idea and get a fake one?” Makki 

“Yeah! Someone handsome and irresistible like me!” Oikawa smirked making everyone groan

“No they already know that I’d never date anyone like you” you chuckled at Oikawa’s pouty face

“Yeah you both wouldn’t be able to keep that up, he can’t even keep a real one” Makki mocked making the setter even poutier causing you all to laugh more

“Fine, what kinda boyfriend would convince them” Oikawa irritatedly asked

“Well definitely not someone as goofy as Makki” you thought out loud 

"I’ll take that as a compliment" Makki smiled

“I guess someone responsible, kind, and not a flirt?” You suggested as Oikawa grinned smugly

“Oh, I think I have the perfect guy!” Oikawa smirked victoriously

“Huh who?” You asked befuddled

“He’s sitting right beside you” Oikawa said mischievously as you looked at Iwaizumi 

“Oh yeah! Hajime fits their view of a perfect s/o” you smiled as Iwaizumi began to blush

“Yeah plus you’re both pretty close, it shouldn’t be that hard” Matsun gave a suggestive look to the blushing ace

“I-I mean I don’t really mind if you really want… or need one” Iwaizumi said nervously hiding his face

“Yeah! We’re close buddies which will make it so much easier and less awkward!” You jumped in joy

“Oh but we gotta make it convincing! Tomorrow let’s go out and do whatever the heck couples do!” You suggested

“And we can help with that” Makki interjected as Oikawa and Matsun nodded

“Alright, I’ll see you later then!” You happily ran out of the gym

“I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU THREE” Iwaizumi yelled furiously as the lower years hold him down

“Before you try to kill us at least you’ve basically got to experience what’s like to be with Y/N” Oikawa defended making Iwaizumi scoff

“I know you did that on purpose” Iwaizumi said angrily 

“Like our flat captain said at least you’re gonna go on a date with Y/N” Makki reaffirmed “And with the ideas I have in mind they’ll be head over heels for you” Makki smiled mischievously

After school Makki and Oikawa told you their ridiculous ideas which you mostly ignored. Thankfully the days before the party was the weekends so you both had enough time to make your fake relationship as real as possible. You both decided that the park and the mall would be the best places for fake dates.

“Did you listen to anything they said yesterday?” you asked looking at Iwaizumi

“No, all their ideas were stupid” Iwaizumi scoffed making you chuckle

“Well some of them were good, but after a while, it got stupider and stupider” you said while you both walked to the park

“What do you wanna do first?” He asked

“Well I was thinking we could have like a picnic here for lunch, then do whatever they suggested in the mall” you explained as he nodded

“Well we could start with taking pictures over there” Iwaizumi pointed to the cherry blossom tree which had leaves falling out

“Yeah! That’s a great idea!” You said excitedly as you ran towards the tree

Iwaizumi took pictures of you playing around with the petals that fell off the tree. He had to admit seeing you act like a child looked pretty cute.

“Hajime! You need to be in the pictures too y'know!” You called out as he walked towards you

“Right I forgot sorry” he chuckled “I couldn’t help it though, you looked like a child playing with the petals” he said making you blush

“I guess cherry blossoms make me feel like a child again” you both laughed

You then took a picture of you both laughing in the pile of petals you were both in 

“This is the perfect place for the picnic!” You said as you grabbed the picnic mat from your bag

“You seem pretty excited about all of this despite being all fake” Iwaizumi chuckled as he set the food on the mat

“It’s cuz I like hanging out with you” You smiled brightly as Iwaizumi blushed “I don’t spend as much time with you as I do with the others” you grab the sandwiches you made giving him one

“Yeah… I guess we don’t” he smiled quietly as he ate his sandwich

He hated to admit it but Oikawa and Makki were right. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to indulge the experience of dating you even if it is fake. His thoughts were interrupted as he saw you staring at him.

“Is there something on my face” he spoke as you blinked

“Yeah you’ve this on top of your head” you giggled as you take the flower of his head

“Why don’t you keep it” he suggested taking the flower from your hand as you tilt your head in confusion “You can keep it right up here” he placed the flower in your hair on top of your ear making you blush

“Oh! Like a memory to this day!” You smiled as he nodded

After your little picnic, you both went to the closest mall to do the other things they suggested and later have dinner. But first, you needed to do a little shopping.

“Y/N aren’t we supposed to take pictures to make this thing look real? Why are we shopping?” Iwaizumi gave a half confused half annoyed look

“We need matching outfits for the party! Or wait maybe opposite outfits- outfits! We need outfits for the party!” You explain as you look through the clothing store as he sighed

“I’m guessing this is a formal party?” Iwaizumi said as you threw more possible outfit choices on the cart

“Kinda? It’s always semi-casual and semi-formal but we still need something presentable!” you exclaimed as you put more possible outfits on the cart

“Before we go and look for more why don’t we try some on” Iwaizumi suggested as he emphasized the full cart

You both tried the countless outfits you chose. You have now just realized how many clothes you put in the cart. Luckily you and Iwaizumi could easily sort them since most of them were either too formal or too casual.

“It looks like you mindlessly threw a bunch of clothes in the cart” Iwaizumi said as he looked through the pile of clothes

“Sorry” you smiled nervously “This is the only time we have a gathering so it’s kinda important for my family” you explained as you look through more of the clothes

“You miss them too, right?” Iwaizumi asked as you nod

“Yeah of course! But that’s only after the millions of awkward questions they give me” you sighed

“I see…” Iwaizumi spoke softly

“I FOUND THE PERFECT ONE” you said holding the two pairs of clothes as Iwaizumi sighed in relief

After trying it out you both decided it was definitely the perfect outfit to wear at the gathering. You took the opportunity to take a picture of Iwaizumi carrying the bag since you thought it was very gentleman-like. After eating dinner you both decided to go home.

“Thanks for today Hajime” you smiled as you both walked  “I’m glad we got the day to spend more time together ignoring the reason why” you chuckled making Iwaizumi blush

“No problem it was fun” Iwaizumi smiled as you both walk by the ice cream store

“Oh! Can we go get ice cream” you said excitedly as he chuckled at your adorableness

“Sure my treat” Iwaizumi offered as you smile brightly in excitement

Before you enter the store you both see a little boy gazing at the store

“Mommy, can we go get an ice cream?” The little boy pulled his mother’s arm

“Maybe next time” his mother said making the child pout

“You always say that” the boy sniffed sadly making your heartache “I’m sorry we just can’t afford it” his mother explained as she wiped his tears

You see Iwaizumi walk over to the boy

“Hey little guy you really want an ice cream?” he asked to which the boy nodded

“Oh you don’t have to!” the mother looked at Iwaizumi in embarrassment

“It’s fine ma’am I insist” he smiled “Why don’t you go pick one in the store” Iwaizumi opened the door as the boy jumped in excitement yelling “Yay!” as he went in

“I can’t choose” the boy said as he went up to you “Excuse me miss can you help me?” the boy asked

“Sure! But there’s a lot of cool ones so even for me it's hard to choose” you put your hand on your chin “you could go with this one! Oh but this one’s also good” Iwaizumi chuckled at your indecisiveness

After helping the boy choose you walked out of the store to say goodbye

“What do you say to the kind man and his girlfriend/boyfriend?” The boy's mother asked making you both blush profusely

“Thank you!” The boy gave a toothy smile as you both smiled back

“No problem” Iwaizumi motioned a high-five to the boy as he excitedly did

“Goodbye!” The boy said as they both left

“You know that kid reminds me of you when we were in middle school” Iwaizumi smiled softly 

“Is that why you decided to give him a free ice cream” you teased making him blush

“N-no you used to whine all the time when you didn’t have the money to buy an ice cream until I gave you mine” Iwaizumi looked away in annoyance as you giggled

“I know, thank you for all your ice creams” you smiled

The next day you reviewed the possible questions your family might ask Iwaizumi. After a few more fake dates it was time for the gathering. You both wore the outfits you chose and hopped in an Uber to the family gathering. As you arrived a wave of nervousness hit you.

“Nervous?” Iwaizumi looked over to you as you nod making him chuckle “It’s okay I’m always here” he held your hand making you blush 

“I’m ready” you took a breath as Iwaizumi opens the door for you revealing  that you both were the last ones to arrive

CRAP! WE’RE LATE you nervously panic seeing everyone looking at the two of you but you begin to calm down once you feel him firmly holding your hand. You see your mom waving for your corresponding seats so you both walk over to the table.

“Y/N we were so worried you wouldn’t come” your mother said as she patted down to the two empty seats

“Oh, are we late?” You asked nervously

“No no, everyone just got here early, surprisingly” she said “You’re both right on time, take a seat!” Your mom pats the empty seat again

“Oh right sorry!” Iwaizumi moves the chair for you as you mouth a thank you to which he smiled in response

“What a gentleman” your brother teased sarcastically which you respond with a glare

“Haven’t I seen you before?” Your mother asked 

“I’m part of the volleyball team in the school Y/N goes to and we’ve been on local TV a few times” Iwaizumi explained

“A gentleman and he’s sporty! Didn’t think Y/N was capable of catching such a fish!”  your brother snickered as you roll your eyes

“Where’s dad?” you looked around

“He’s talking to some of our uncles over there” your sister pointed at the wine section

“Right, dad hasn’t even met your boyfriend he’s definitely gonna ask millions of questions” your brother mischievously smiled making Iwaizumi nervous “So while he’s gone why don’t we ask some first” your brother sneered as he put his hands on his chin

“If you don’t mind I’d love to see some pictures of you both together” your mother requested as you gave your phone

That’s why they wanted to do all those fake dates Iwaizumi thought as your mother looks through your phone

“Oh Y/N is this your boyfriend?” Your aunt said excitedly as she walked over to your mom looking through your camera roll

“You finally got a boyfriend? Looks like we were all wrong about you growing into an old maid” your cousin teased making your brother laugh

“Awww you both look so cute!” your aunt squealed making you both blush profusely

After you and Iwaizumi answered the millions of questions from everyone you saw your dad walk over to the table making you extremely nervous. As he sat down he looked over to you and your “boyfriend.” The awkwardness made your brother silently chuckle as you sent a harsh glare to him.

“We should go now” your aunt and cousins zoomed away

“Is this the guy you were talking about when you asked to prepare at your boyfriend’s house?” Your father asked sternly

“Y-Yeah” you replied nervously

“You’re the same age as Y/N? Same school as Y/N? Excellent grades? No school violations?” Your father berated Iwaizumi with questions 

“F/N you’re scaring them” your mother lightly scolded 

“You were the one who wanted them to get a s/o which I didn’t agree with” your father reminded as your mother sighed

“Correction everyone but you wanted Y/N to get a s/o” your brother interjected

“And? I won’t let them end up like you with your… flings” your father scowled in disgust as your brother rolled his eyes

“F/N he’s a genuinely great kid, honest, polite, kind, responsible, and all of that!” Your mother defended “As long as you put your faith in them our child is in good hands” your mother smiled to both of you which eased your nerves

“Alright…” your father huffed “I’ll trust the both of you” your father sighed as he ate making you sigh quietly in relief

After the party was over you were relieved from all that stress. It wasn’t so bad after your mom defended you but you won’t admit you were famished. You decided to personally thank your mom before you left

“Thanks, Mom” you smiled pulling her for a tight hug

“No need to thank me” your mom smiled back and gave Iwaizumi a nod of approval 

“Where’s my hug and thanks? I defended you too y’know” your brother crossed your arms

“Thanks too I guess” you hugged him 

“But we should get going, bye!” You waved as they did the same

“For a fake relationship your father sure made it feel like a real one” Iwaizumi chuckled as you both walk outside

Right, it’s all fake you thought to yourself making your heartache

“Sorry to make you go through all that you really didn’t have to” you spoke quietly

“Y/N you don’t need to worry I’d never hesitate in doing this again” Iwaizumi smiled weakly as your heart skipped a beat

“Why?” you asked frowning at the thought that he’d do anything for you even if it ended him in getting into conflict

“Because…” he stopped

“Because what?” You asked looking to him

“We’re friends” he smiled as you felt an intense wave of sorrow and hurt though you managed to smile back weakly

You turned around to walk away but you soon stopped at the sound of Iwaizumi’s voice

“I don’t want us to just be that” he continued making your eyes widen as your heart starts beating fast

“I did all this because I care about you a lot… more than a friend even” you turned around to see Iwaizumi starting to tear up

“I know it was all fake but I enjoyed every second… It may be selfish of me but… I don’t want it to end” Iwaizumi spoke his voice was shaky as he tried to hold his tears back 

“I love you Y/N… I don’t want to let you go” tears poured from Iwaizumi’s cheeks as you embraced him tightly shocking him 

“Don’t worry” you spoke softly “I don’t wanna let go either” he looked at you with shock as you gave him a sweet smile

“Can we continue it for real this time?” You asked as he placed a kiss on your forehead

“I’d love to” he smiled

Tsukishima

You've always been surrounded by your fans everywhere you went. School was no exception. During break, every student would try to sit with you and if there were partnerships or group projects you'd always be the first to be asked. You really didn't mind as you appreciated all the support and this was the price to pay when you made the biggest hits in Japan. The only thing you particularly minded was when you have over-the-top obsessed fans or stalkers. Luckily in public, you could easily avoid them however this one obsessed fan was unfortunately in your school. Still, it wouldn't be that hard with the mass amount of students at the school but unfortunately, you shared one class with this “fan”.

“Good morning class. Just like last semester I'm going to change your seating arrangement again” your teacher said as you start to worry

She then guides your classmates one by one to their seats as you were left last

“And Y/N over there” she pointed to the empty chair next to Yuta making you pale as white

“You've got to be kidding me” you panicked internally as you went to your seat and sat down

“Hey Y/N” he smiled innocently

“Hey…” you awkwardly smile back

“Looks like we'll be seat buddies” you swore you can hear the sly smile from his voice

“Yeah cool!” you smiled hoping he would drop the conversation

“Yeah! Especially since math isn't your strongest subject right?” He continued

“I can manage” you said with slight coldness in your voice

“Well if you need help I'm right next to you” he smiled finally ending the conversation between the both of you

You felt the life draining out of you during that class. Yuta kept trying to make conversation with you. You were sure he could take the hint and was just talking to you because he could. Luckily during break, you could easily get away from him.

“Hey Y/N over here!” Hinata waved excitedly as you went over to him

“Hey guys” you waved as you sat down

“Is something wrong you looked bummed out” Suga asked with concern

“Well y'know that fan in our school that constantly stalks me” you sighed playing with your food

“You mean your whole fan club” Tsuki rolled his eyes

“No not that one you glared the one that's like a whole different level of creepiness” you explained

“WHAT! THAT CREEP?!” Noya gasped in disgust

“Yeah, we're seatmates now woohoo!” You said sarcastically 

“Can't you ask your teacher to switch?” Asahi asked

“Unfortunately no he's very reputable in the school they're not gonna believe me” you laid your face on the table 

“It's okay Y/N you can get through this!” Hinata encouraged

“Thank you” you hugged him as he returns the hug

“It's a shame math is the only subject none of us share with you” Yamaguchi said sadly

“And it's the only subject they share with him” Kageyama lightly scoffed making you even more bummed out

“I'll get through this!” You tried encouraging yourself

“Stop lying to yourself it makes you more pathetic than you already are” Tsukishima rolled his eyes as you sent a glare

“Looks like it’s gonna be another glare war” Asahi chuckled

“This is gonna be a long day” Daichi sighed in annoyance

After a few more peaceful classes it was time to go home. You thought you would have a peaceful walk home but you were very wrong. As you went to the gate you saw a putrid familiar face waiting for you by the gate.

“Hey Y/N!” Yuta waved as you tried walking past him only for him to walk right next to you

“Hey… Do you need something?” You asked quickly getting annoyed

“I was thinking why don’t we walk home together” he suggested slyly smiling

“It’s okay I’m comfortable going myself” you smiled fakely wanting to punch the grin on his face

“Are you sure? You’re pretty big around here and you won’t be safe getting chased by a mob of fans” he asked with concern as he walked in front of you

Do I even have a choice at this point you thought

“It’s really okay I-” you tried explaining getting quickly interrupted by a hand on your shoulder

“If you’re so concerned about her wellbeing I’ll go with her” Tsukishima nonchalantly said

“Oh! Tsukishima!” You gasped in surprise

“I don’t know, I've only seen you two fighting all the time… Are you sure you aren’t just gonna laugh while they get chased” Yuta narrowed his eyes

“You flatter me” Tsukishima faked a chuckle “Are you giving them a choice to walk with you or are you forcing them to go with you” Tsukishima glared intensely 

“No no, it’s not like that! It’s Y/N’s choice after all” Yuta smiled looking at you as you felt his aura of anger seeth around him

“Thank you for the offer but… We have stuff to do” Yuta gives you a look of confusion as you look at Tsukishima for an excuse as he rolled his eyes

“You’ve already forgotten our homework? Typical Y/N” Tsukishima scoffed in annoyance as you try to hide the urge to smack him

“Yeah! And we're doing it at his house” you smiled innocently

“Alright then stay safe…” Yuta walked away as you sigh in relief

“Jeez, can't you take care of anything yourself? Just say no” Tsukishima crossed his arms

“You said it yourself earlier he wasn’t giving me a choice” you glared harshly as he rolled his eyes

“Whatever” he scoffed “Let’s go before that idiot comes back” he said walking ahead

“Huh? You’re walking me home” you look at him with a very confused face

“Yeah you dumbass we actually have homework” he face palmed as you scoff

“Would it kill you to be nicer” you crossed your arms as you walked

“I’m sorry did I hurt the princess’ feelings?” Tsukishima smiled sarcastically as you glared

“Maybe walking with him would be much better than you” you quietly said

“Huh? Did the pipsqueak say something?” He teased

“I said nothing!” You scowled grumpily

“That’s what I thought” Tsukishima smugly smiled as you both walk outside the school gates

“Thanks again, I mean it” you smiled softly which made Tsukishima blush slightly

“Yeah whatever” he shrugs off as you both walk home

The next day as you arrive at school you are greeted with a tight hug by Hinata while Kageyama chases after him.

“Hi Y/N!” Hinata looked up to you excitedly

“You seem pretty excited” you smiled back

“I’m always excited for volleyball!” Hinata jumped in joy

“HEY! DON’T RUN OFF LIKE THAT!” Kageyama said breathlessly

“I heard from Yamaguchi that you walked home with Tsukishima! What’s up with that?” Hinata asked you curiously ignoring the other fellow

“Oh it’s because Yuta was offering to walk home with me… Actually forcing me is a better term” you sighed

“That guy never knows when to quit!” Hinata pouted making you aww at his adorableness

“At Least Tsukishima was there” Hinata sighed in annoyance

“Yeah… he was good company” you smiled 

“You should file a restraining order on that guy” Kageyama suggested

“I think that’s a bit too much” you chuckled awkwardly

“What are you gonna do about him he doesn’t sound like he’s gonna stop” Kageyama crossed his arms worriedly 

“I’ll go after him and beat him up!” Hinata exclaimed getting into a fighting position making you smile

“Thank you Hinata but I’m sure there’s another way to resolve this without any violence or getting the authorities involved” you ruffled his hair as Hinata put his hand on his chin

“I guess you’re gonna have to deal with that until you figure out a solution” Kageyama sighed

“I’VE GOT AN IDEA!” Hinata thought out loud 

“No” Tsukishima stated coldly

“Come on! It’s the only solution!” Hinata pouted angrily

“Out of everyone you think of, you pick me? Even the thought of pretending to be with her repulses me” Tsukishima scoffed

“You sure picked a nasty one” you rolled your eyes

“Exactly! He’s grumpy, nasty, and intimidating! It will definitely scare off all the creeps!” Hinata triumphantly said hoping you’d both be convinced

“I mean if it will keep him away…” you looked at Tsukishima

“The final answer is no. If you excuse me I have to get to class” Tsukishima walked away annoyed as you sighed

“Wait! We share a class!” Hinata ran as he caught up with Tsukishima

“Don’t think I know what you’re doing” Tsukishima glared at the shorter fellow

“Doing what?” Hinata asked innocently

“I don’t like her end of story” Tsukishima scowled as he walked faster

“You sure do care too much even if you say you don’t” Hinata murmured as Tsukishima glared 

“This conversation is done” Tsukishima seethed coldly

“I’m just saying who knows maybe if you both pretend to be together, maybe they’ll end up liking you back” Hinata suggested making a small smug grin as Tsukishima stops

You’ve finally reached the class you’ve been dreading to go to. As soon as you go in lo and behold he’s already there waiting, even patting the seat right next to him as if he saved it just for you. You took a deep breath before heading to your seat.

“You look troubled, something on your mind?” He asked 

You wish he would just stop being so hyper-friendly with you and shut up 

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m just tired” you faked a yawn 

“Oh right! You must be exhausted from touring!” He chuckled at his idiocy making you sour

You, fortunately, got through the period and survived all his countless stupid questions. You rush quickly to get out but as you leave the door you get pulled by a familiar glasses wearer.

“Hey! Ever heard of a greeting!” You yell in annoyance as he continued to grab your hand ignoring whatever you said

“You’ll thank me later songbird” you frown at the nickname as Tsukishima drags you to a more secluded area

“What in the world do you want this time?” you asked in irritation as he lets go of your hand

“Is that guy still bothering you?” He asked ignoring your question

“Yuta? Yeah, wouldn’t stop berating me with questions” you rolled your eyes remembering the thought

“I’ll agree to that idiot’s plan” Tsukishima  crossed his arms coldly

“Huh, which plan?” You questioned innocently 

“For someone who has high grades you sure are stupid and forgetful” he smirked sarcastically as you glare  “The fake dating thing idiot” He scoffed

“Really? Thank you!” You hug him tightly as he blushes madly “I don't think I could take his stalking anymore!” You tightened your hug even more as he tried pushing you away

“Maybe ask before you hug me?” Tsukishima grimaced as you let go

“Oh sorry!” You scratched the back of your neck blushing

Later that day others offered to help you make the plan as real as possible. A lot of arguing mostly between you and Tsukishima refusing to do “things that normal couples do”. 

“Please complimenting her every minute is the last thing I’d do” Tsukishima scoffed

“Yeah that’s really cheesy” you rolled your eyes

“You guys said you wanted to trick him! You're gonna have to make cheesy sacrifices” Tanaka crossed his arms as the two of you sigh in annoyance

“The final step is kissing!” Hinata said excitedly

“NO!” You both yelled in unison

“Awww c’mon! If you both don’t wanna do anything we mention kissing would be more than enough” Hinata soured

“Don’t you think for fake dating that’s a bit too much” you reasoned out

“Y/N’s right kissing is overstepping it” Suga agreed as Hinata pouted and crossed his arms

“Then you’re gonna have to do everything else we’ve mentioned!” Noya smiled as you both sighed

The very next day you decided to take your plan into action

“When you both walk into school, hold hands!” Noya instructed as you sulk

“GO! GO! GO!” Noya shouted pushing the both of you into the school gates

Tsukishima nervously puts his hand on yours. His face goes beet red from getting to hold your hand.

“Your hand feels nice…” you smiled sweetly as his blush grows 

“W-what the hell do you mean by that?” Tsukishima asked nervously

“Oh, I thought it would be salty and sour” you giggled as scoffed “But it’s soft… I like it” you smiled softly 

“Your hand feels nice too… I guess” Tsukishima complimented

“Looks like we got the hand holding and complimenting down” you punch a fist in the air and smile, an action that Tsukishima couldn’t help but find cute

Your excitement comes to a close as you realize everyone in the hallway was watching you surprised at the both of you holding hands and having a normal conversation instead of arguing every five minutes

“Right! I forgot everyone in school’s gonna talk about this” you gulp in nervousness

“Not just the school, the whole of Japan” Tsukishima stated nonchalantly making you more nervous

“I’m sorry you're probably gonna get dragged around by the media after this” you said quietly playing with your hands

“Don’t worry it’ll be fine unlike you I can tell them to fuck off” Tsukishima smirked sarcastically as you pout

“That’s because you're a certified jerkwad” you cross your arms 

“Well you’re gonna have to deal with it pipsqueak” he said as the smugness in his tone increasing

“Let’s just get to our first class!” You scowled as you both walk into your first class

You did everything the others instructed you to. You were sure Yuta saw what you both did since he never leaves you alone at school. The gossip between you two was the only thing the school would talk about. Your next class was the dreaded Math class. You were nervous as you didn’t know what to expect when you sat next to Yuta. Taking a deep breath you went in and sat next to him. 

As expected he didn't talk to you for most of the period which made you worry. Usually, he’d annoy you to death berating you with questions, trying to get on your good side in hopes of having a chance with you. Your thoughts were interrupted when your classmate behind you asked a question

“Heya Y/N! Got a question” the girl asked as you turned around

Sure ask away you responded

“Is it true you’re dating Tsukishima? I was so sure you hated him” she chuckled as you felt the anger seething out of Yuta

“Yeah doesn’t he treat you like garbage?” Yuta interjected coldly 

“Well he may be an annoying asshole but I kinda like that about him” you explain as the tint on your cheeks grows red “I guess he’s not good with showing how he really feels but… I know for sure he cares” you continue “Ohhh! I get it! You’re that kinda gal!” she lightly punched your arm as you giggled

“Yeah I guess so…” you murmured as you felt Yuta’s boiling anger but you chose to ignore it

The whole Math class felt like a breath of fresh air. You didn’t care if you just felt anger from your seatmate. You were finally free now from his stupid questions. After your class finishes you happily walked to lunch and sat next to your usual lunch buddies

“Someone’s in a really good mood” Yamaguchi smiled 

“Yuta left me alone the whole class!” You exclaimed in triumph as everyone sighs in relief

“See! Our plan was foolproof!” Tanaka and Noya said proudly in unison

“Yeah, if it hadn't I would’ve beaten you both to a pulp” Tsukishima scowled

“Alright Mr. Salty Pants you need to calm down” you patted his shoulder as he rolled his eyes

“Don’t call me that pipsqueak” Tsukishima brushed your hand off

“Giving each other nicknames? Are you sure you guys are still fake?” Hinata whispered mischievously as you both blush

“I’ll just return to my food” you brushed Hinata off and started eating as Tsukishima quietly did the same

“At least they aren’t arguing anymore” Daichi sighed in relief

As soon as school finishes you wait at the gate for Tsukishima to be done practicing. You take a long sigh of relief. Besides dealing with the media and school your “stalker” would finally leave you alone. Or so you thought.

"Y/N!" you hear a voice call out as you turned to face them only to be surprised by an angry Yuta walking towards you

"Yuta? I thought you’d be home" by now you spoke innocently as his anger grows

"Cut the innocent bullshit! I know you both aren’t a thing" Yuta yelled coldly as he grabbed you

"Huh? What’re you talking about?" you chuckled nervously trying to push him away

"It was all to make me leave you alone right? C’mon, you really think I was that stupid?" He snickered loudly as you begin to tear up in fear

“Aww don’t cry you’ve got your “boyfriend” to save you- Oh wait he’s not really your boyfriend” he continued to laugh though he soon stopped as you heard the sound of a blow to his face

“Don’t touch someone who’s off limits” Tsukishima scowled angrily as you rushed to hug him tightly

“Don’t make me laugh I know it isn’t real” Yuta said as he got up

“You’re just whiny because unlike you I got their attention” Tsukishima smirked smugly as he received a blow from Yuta

“Tsuki!” You rushed towards his aid as he brushes you off

“Don’t worry I’ve been wanting to kick his ass for a while” Tsukishima said as he got ready to punch him again

“Stop! You’re only gonna get hurt!” You cried out as Yuta slowly approaches the both of you only for a familiar tangerine to drop kick Yuta onto the ground

“I’ve waited forever to do that!” Hinata smiled victoriously as Yuta gets up and runs away

“YEAH RUN YOU COWARD” Hinata yelled 

“Where did you learn to do that?” You asked as he chuckled

“I’ve been practicing with Noya!” Hinata smiled as you ruffle his hair

“You should take Tsukishima to the nursing office. I'll head back and tell the others!” Hinata quickly said as he ran off

“You haven’t finished practice?” you look towards Tsukishima

“Yeah I needed to get something then I found you with him” Tsukishima explained

“Let’s just get you the nurse’s office” you said worriedly as you helped walk him to the nurse’s office

Luckily for the both of you the nurse’s office was empty which saved you both an explanation and or potential punishment. You ushered him to sit down as you grabbed the necessary items to treat his lip. 

“I’m sorry” you mumbled quietly as soon as you finished treating his lip

“What for?” Tsukishima asked holding the ice pack on his lip

“For all of this the fake dating and dragging you into this” you look down as the guilt builds up

“You really don’t have to apologize for that after all I agreed to do this” Tsukishima placed his hand on yours to comfort you

“But you ended up getting hurt because of me” you began to tear up

“It doesn’t matter if I get hurt” he wiped the tears from your cheeks “I would protect you no matter what, whether we're together for real or fake because… I care about you…” he confided pulling you into a tight embrace

“Thank you” hugged him back tightly “y'know… we don't have to keep calling it fake” you smiled 

“What do you-” he gave you a puzzled look as you interrupted hin

“We could do it for real if you want” you blushed shyly

“Yeah… I wouldn't mind that” he smiled

Kuroo

You were in the middle of doing your homework when Bokuto dragged you to come with him to his li’l hangout session in the park with Kuroo.

“Why did I have to come again?” you asked slightly annoyed

“Because Akaashi didn’t want to come” Bokuto frowned, “He said he was busy or something” Bokuto childishly crossed his arms

“Well couldn’t you go there alone? I was in the middle of doing my homework” you pouted

“C’mon! Don’t you wanna spend time with your favorite big brother and his friend!” He tried convincing you with his sad frown

“You’re my only big brother” you narrowed your eyes as his face brightens up

“So you agree?” he smiled triumphantly as you sighed in amusement. You did need a little break anyways

“Well then you’re gonna have to convince Akaashi to help me with my homework as a thank you” you tried to compromise as he nodded his head excitedly

“YEAH! WE GET TO HANG OUT AGAIN!” Bokuto hugged you tightly making you smile at his adorableness

“Alright you goof we don’t wanna keep Kuroo waiting” you patted his back making him release the hug as you both turned to leave

“THERE’S AN ICE CREAM TRUCK OVER THERE!” Bokuto yelled excitedly pointing at the ice cream truck at the front of the park

“LET’S GO!” He dragged you with him running a thousand miles per hour

You both ran to the ice cream shop, terrifying the people on the way and the worker from how fast Bokuto ran. You both bought ice cream for yourselves and Kuroo (which you paid for).

“You owe me two favors now” you warned as Bokuto continued eating his ice cream

“Thank you!” He smiled adorably making you sigh

“Don’t think your adorableness is getting you out of what you owe me” you glared

“Where’s Kuroobro” Bokuto looked around for his black-haired friend but to no avail

“Did he say he was already here?” you asked as Bokuto nodded

“If he doesn’t show up do I owe you an extra favor” Bokuto spoke timidly as you nodded making him gulp

Ironically right after he said that Kuroo appeared out of nowhere looking like he just killed someone

“KUROOBRO!” Bokuto yelled putting his hands on the air in excitement as Kuroo shushes him

“Not the time right now!” Kuroo whispered loudly as you and Bokuto look at each other tilt your head in confusion

“What’s wrong?” Bokuto whispered quietly as Kuroo dragged you both somewhere private near the tree area

“Will you just tell us what’s happening you whispered angrily” as he sighed

“While I was walking around waiting for you guys I met my ex near a bench” Kuroo explained 

“Yeah and?” Bokuto asked naively as you elbowed his arm making him mutter an “ow!”

“Don’t you remember what happened Bo? You were the one who told me all this” you narrowed one eye as he looked at you dazed

“I kinda forgot about her” Bokuto shrugged as you and Kuroo both sigh

“Well my forgetful owl friend she’s still not over me and thinks we still have a chance even if i clearly showed that there is no chance whatsoever” Kuroo frowned 

“Has she been following you since?” You asked as he nodded frustratedly sighing in the process “Yeesh” you patted his back

“Well if you don’t wanna see her we can just stay here I mean we’re all here anyways Bokuto sat down in the grass Ice cream?” Bokuto offered the ice cream you bought for Kuroo as he sat down “Let’s figure something out tomorrow” you offered as he smiled “You both owe me one afterall” you smirked eating your ice cream as Kuroo looks at you with confusion

“What?” Kuroo looked at Bokuto as he gave him an awkward smile

The next day Kuroo couldn’t practice properly thinking about what happened yesterday. It wasn’t long till his team noticed his change in behavior.

“Hey Kuroo, is there something wrong you're acting very off today” Inuoka asked 

“Huh? Nothing’s wrong” Kuroo brushed off as he went to grab the ball

“Something is clearly wrong you aren’t playing properly” Yaku reprimanded as Kuroo rolled his eyes

“Nothing to be concerned about! Let’s get going!” Kuroo insisted

“For the last hour you haven’t practiced properly” Yaku glared “So tell us what’s wrong. Now” Yaku crossed his arms as Kuroo sighed deeply in response going over to the benches before he sat down

“When I went outside to hangout with Bokuto and Y/N, I met my ex” Kuroo explained quietly shocking everyone “Long story short, she’s not over me” Kuroo frowned

“Knowing her I wouldn’t be surprised if she enrolled here just to see you” Kenma spoke nonchalantly making Kuroo sweat

“That would be awkward especially if you have to share a class” Yamamoto added as Yaku elbowed him

“Let’s hope either of that doesn’t happen” Yaku sighed 

“She’d be near impossible to get away from then” Inuoka said worriedly 

“I would die if I saw her attending my games” Kuroo spoke deflated putting his hands on his head

“Let’s try to devise a plan after school we’ll have more time” Yaku suggested as he stood up “For now, you don’t have to force yourself to play in that kind of state” Yaku said empathetically

The whole practice Kuroo was moping around much to the dismay of his teammates. He thought the day wouldn’t get any worse until it was time for him to go home.

“Looks like I got through that pretty fine” Kuroo exclaimed proudly

“If acting mopey the whole practice was fine I don’t even want to know what would happen if you actually meet her” Yaku sighed

“Let’s hope that doesn’t happen” Inuoka said worriedly

“Don’t worry I just have to make it to my house! She’s not gonna appear anytime soon” Kuroo walked towards the gate but was stopped by Kenma pulling him

“Huh? What was that for–” Kuroo gave Kenma a confused look but his face immediately froze when Kenma pointed in front of him

“I think you jinxed yourself” Lev gulped sheepishly

“Did she actually enroll here?” Yamamoto gasped quietly as Kuroo’s ex walks over to them

“CRAP SHE’S COMING” they all panic internally 

“Hey…” his ex said meekly making everyone sweat nervously

“What… what are you doing here” Kuroo slightly grimaced

“Oh i just… wanted to see how you were doing” she mumbled smiling awkwardly which slightly angered the team’s captain

“Didn’t I make it clear at the park already” Kuroo slightly snapped though remained composed as everyone looked at him

“Yeah! But…” she gets cut off by Kuroo’s sigh

“It’s over alright? Just leave me alone” Kuroo growing angry he quickly walked out of the gate while everyone followed him

During the walk home it was pure dead silence accompanied by the angry aura that radiated Kuroo. No one dared to ask if he was okay in fear of further pissing off the captain. The next day Kuroo along with Kenma went to the lockers before heading to class.

“Hey Kuroo sorry for not being to help you during that whole ordeal yesterday” Kenma apologized as he opened his locker

“Eh don’t worry about it” Kuroo shook his hand vertically “It’s not your fault she’s can’t take no for an answer” Kuroo sighed in annoyance as he opened his locker

The two boys then saw a letter inside the locker making them both groan

“You thinkin what I’m thinkin?” Kuroo gave a look of irritation getting a nod from Kenma as a response as he opened it

The letter contained a cringeworthy, half-assed apology going on and on and had endless paragraphs that the two boys didn’t even bother to read

“I’m not reading this shit” Kuroo crumpled the paper and threw it at a nearby trash can

“Looks like she really won’t leave you alone” Kenma stated nonchalantly making Kuroo sigh

“Yeah I need to break it to her delusional self fast” Kuroo huffed throwing his hands on his head in frustration

“Yeah you better get on that quickly” Kenma shook Kuroo’s shoulder and pointed into his classroom “Looks like she’s your new classmate” Kuroo’s eyes widened 

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” Kuroo whined loudly

“Well good luck” Kenma waved goodbye as Kuroo nervously went inside the classroom

During the whole class Kuroo’s ex tried everything to try and talk to him. Even with Kuroo’s clear signs of rejecting her advances she still persisted. The whole ordeal lasted the whole class until he was finally able to get out to which he proceeded to go quickly to the gym.

“GUYS I NEED IDEAS NOW!” Kuroo yelled as he slammed the door open

“Yeah we heard from Kenma that you now share a class with her” Yaku sighed worriedly

“YEAH ON MY FAVORITE CLASS? THE ONLY ONE I’D ATTEND INSTEAD OF PRACTICING!” Kuroo moped and messed his hair in frustration

“Well you’re in luck!” A familiar booming voice was heard outside of the gym

“BOKUTO IS HERE TO SAVE HIS BRO!” Bokuto yelled excitedly as his other team went into the gym

“THANK YOU BRO” Kuroo went to the fellow ace and hugged him as his whole team sighed

“We’ll do that after our practice match” Akaashi reminded slightly deflating the both of them

After the two teams' practice match they decided to devise a plan once they headed to the bench. Kuroo took the time explaining what happened during his class.

“That girl is borderline obsessed with you” you gave a very creeped out face 

“I know right! No matter how many times you say no or make it clear to her stupid brain she doesn't get it!” Kuroo's words seethed anger

“You could expel her from the school!” Bokuto suggested proudly

“That'd only solve his problem in school but not everywhere else” Akaashi stated making Bokuto sigh in defeat

“Why don’t you get a s/o? She’ll probably leave you alone if she sees you with someone else” Kenma nonchalantly suggested as he played on his console

“That’s a great idea!” Kuroo smiled victoriously

“You still need to find someone who’s nice enough to help your sorry self” Yaku sassed as Kuroo responded with a harsh glare

“Y/N can do it!” Bokuto pointed as Kuroo blushed

“Huh? Why me?” you made a grossed out face

“Cuz he’s my best friend! And he needs saving!” Bokuto reasoned 

“That doesn’t answer my question” you crossed your arms

“Well… you're my sibling and you should help your big brother!” Bokuto responded as you narrowed your eyes

“I don’t think I have the time to have a relationship right now” you said making your brother frown

“It probably doesn’t have to be real” Kai put his hand on his chin “if you just make it believable enough to fool her that could work” your brother nodded to his statement 

“Please” he looked at you cutely “Can you did it for your big brother and his helpless best friend” he continued as Kuroo scowled

“I can’t say no to that face” you sigh in defeat as Bokuto jumps up

“Another victory for Bokuto Kotaro!” Bokuto jumped around excitedly

“Y/N would work after all Kuroo does–” Kenma said before his mouth was covered by Kuroo

“Because you're also my friend, yeah!” Kuroo awkwardly smiled as you looked at him weirdly

“Let's start tomorrow then so we can get this done” you spoke to which Kuroo nodded

“Looks like your dream come true with my sibling is coming true” Bokuto whispered teasingly smiling as Kuroo shushed him 

The next day after you finished school you headed to Kuroo’s school and waited outside the gate together with your brother.

“Bo you didn't have to come all the way here I can take care of myself” you said while you watched the students pass by

“Yeah but who would third wheel your date” Bokuto smiled mischievously It will make it more authentic he added

“You’re a really great friend to Kuroo” you smile which Bokuto returned with a big toothy one

“Heya guys!” Kuroo yelled from a distance as he ran over to the both of you “Shall we make Operation Get Rid Of My Ex a go?” Kuroo smirked as Bokuto nodded excitedly

‘This is gonna be so chaotic’ you thought

“Let’s go!” Bokuto grabbed all of you and you three were off

You went to a cozy cafe in Tokyo with a few people coming in and out

“Y’know for someone so obsessed with you it’s weird how she isn’t here yet” you spoke as you drank your coffee 

“What if she doesn’t come! That would make everything a waste!” Bokuto pouted “Well except the food” he said in annoyance as he ate his croissant 

“There’s no way she wouldn't know I was talking about it pretty loudly during lunch” Kuroo explained whilst he ate

“Well she’s here now” you pointed at the open door where Kuroo’s ex sneakily walked in with other customers

“Get into position!” Kuroo whispered as you all did as planned

“Is she watching?” Bokuto nudged Kuroo

“Yeah!” Kuroo replied

You and Kuroo did whatever couples did during dates whilst Bokuto made your stereotypical third wheel make an awkward date. Luckily you were able to play it naturally as you were already pretty close with Kuroo. You couldn’t deny that you found it cute how hard Kuroo was trying. He was very easy going and made sure to ask for your consent before doing something.

“I need to go to the toilet, I’ll be back” you stood up and left leaving the two boys

“I think you’re taking this way too seriously” Kuroo chuckled

“Not as seriously as you seriously enjoying this” Bokuto retorted making Kuroo blushed

“Listen when you decided to set us up you knew what you were doing” Kuroo fought back

“Well yeah! It’s a bros job to get him with the girl of his dreams” Bokuto laughed smugly

“Now you just sound dramatic” Kuroo rolled his eyes

“Maybe but you can’t deny you're enjoying this” Bokuto smirked

“Alright you got me there” Kuroo raised his hands as you came back

“Is the plan working?” you asked quietly 

“Judging from how creepily she’s been keeping a close eye on us, yeah!” Kuroo smiled victoriously

“We just gonna continue from here then” you said

Kuroo’s ex followed you all everywhere keeping a close tab on you and Kuroo especially which made you very uncomfortable. The three of you both finished every activity you had planned for the day so you all opted to go home. 

“Is she still following us?” Bokuto asked quietly

“Yeah I can feel her eyes on my back” Kuroo replied

“Still? She's so creepy man” Bokuto's face turned to disgust

“I feel bad that you had to go through this for the past few days” you patted Kuroo's back as he sighed

“Yeah it's like I get no privacy anywhere besides my house, everywhere I go she's there too”” Kuroo crossed his arms and pouted “Well I guess it’s more enjoyable cuz your here” Kuroo looked at you and smiled making your heart thump

“T-thanks” you said still dazed from what he said

“Hey! What about me!” Bokuto pouted which Kuroo laughed in response

“Of course you too bro!” Kuroo chuckled turning Bokuto’s frown upside down

“We’ll see tomorrow what she thinks” you said as you all reached Kuroo’s house

“Thanks again today was fun” you smiled making Kuroo slightly blush

“Yeah! My pleasure” Kuroo smiled back

The next day Kuroo went through the whole day without his ex bothering him which made him suspicious. But when he did see her in chemistry class she seemed quiet and was distancing herself from him which Kuroo couldn’t help but feel the intense wave of victory. You saw the joyous captain when he walked to you and Bokuto at the gate.

“Someone looks very happy today” you smiled as Kuroo greeted both of you

“She kept her distance the whole day! I say progress!” Kuroo almost squealed in excitement

“All in a day's work of The Best Ace Bokuto!” Bokuto smiled proudly

“Yeah that’s great!” you flashed a thumbs up

“We just need to seal the deal” Kuroo put his finger on his chin before his face lit up “Prom’s this weekend which I think is the perfect opportunity to do it” Kuroo explained “Can I go too! I wanna eat all the food!” Bokuto jumped in excitement which made you chuckle

“Yeah we can all go!” Kuroo  gave a toothy smile

A few days before prom you were in the mall with Akaashi and Bokuto deciding which of the dresses you should buy

“Should I go for this one or this one?” you said holding two dresses

“We’ve been here for like… HOURS!” Bokuto complained as he fell back on the chair

“And? It’s a formal event that needs the proper attire! I need to look my best!” You defended hearing another complain from Bokuto

“Why do you care so much you didn’t care that much last prom!” Bokuto crossed his arms

“Is it because of Kuroo?” Akaashi asked innocently yet you felt there was more intention in his tone

“W’what? N-no?” You blushed hardly surprised from Akaashi’s question

“Looks like I hit a bullseye” Akaashi nonchalantly said

“You like Kuroo?” Bokuto stood up and looked at you

“No! I don’t! It’s just I wanna look my best to make it look real y'know!” You kept trying to defend yourself though Akaashi could see right through you

“You wanna look your best for Kuroo you mean” Akaashi teased to which you glare

“I never thought you’d like my bro!” Bokuto smiled excitedly

“Well, until now” Akaashi smirked which made you blush even more

“Just pick one I’m done with this conversion!” You pointed daggers at the two boys which made Bokuto snicker

It was the day of the prom and Kuroo was very nervous. Though it was only to get rid of his ex he felt that he’d actually taken you to prom and though he didn’t want to admit it but he really wanted to see what you’d look like in your prom dress.

“You look a little too excited” Yaku teased 

“Well yeah! I’m actually going to prom with them!” Kuroo blushed “It still makes me sad though that all this is fake” Kuroo frowned his face darkened

“Well I guess you have to make the most of it right?” Kenma interjected hoping to cheer his best friend up

“You’re right” Kuroo smiled 

“She’s here now!” Lev exclaimed making Kuroo shift back to nervousness

The door opened with Bokuto in a neat tux with a surprisingly formal hairstyle different from his spiked up hair but beside him was you in an elegant outfit also with a formal hairstyle

“Amazed? You should be! I picked it for them just for my best bro!” Bokuto bragged proudly

“You only picked it so we’d get out of the store” you chuckled as Bokuto shot a quick shush

“That doesn’t change the fact that you look pretty elegant” Kuroo scratched the back of his neck in shyness the team were smiling right next to him

“Well let's leave you both to it” Yaku grabbed the others giving the two alone space

“Well? Let’s get started” you smiled excitedly as you dragged Kuroo to the dance floor 

You both couldn’t deny the fun you both had dancing and partying. You had to admit that this was the most fun you had with Kuroo. You felt saddened that after all this your “relationship” was going to end. Though you made sure you made the most out of the time you had left.

“I’m going to the restroom can you get me some more punch when I get back” you asked as Kuroo nodded

“Anything for you m’lady” Kuroo teased as you lightly slapped his shoulder

“Alright you big goof I’ll be off” you chuckled as you went to the bathroom

As Kuroo went to the area with he punch he noticed his ex walking towards him as he got some punch for the both of you making him sigh in annoyance

“What do you want” Kuroo said coldly “Don’t think I didn’t see you follow me a few days ago with my date” he glared putting emphasis on date

“I know but I just want you to give me one chance… just one” she pleaded

“Isn’t what you’ve seen already enough for you to leave me alone” Kuroo snapped

“You don’t have to pretend to be with someone just because you don’t wanna give me a chance” she said making Kuroo laugh

“I think you need to get your brain checked sweetheart you’re acting very cuckoo” Kuroo sneered

“We both know that date was one sided” she scowled taking him back “It’s sad that they pitied you that much that they’d agree to go to prom with you” she continued as Kuroo growed in anger 

“And what? My feelings for them are real! So shove that chance you think you have in your ass!” Kuroo snapped slamming the table next to him “After all it's only good for pleasing other guys isn’t it” Kuroo glared intensely shocking his ex 

“You–” She tried to speak out though she was interrupted by Kuroo

“Whether it’s real or not, they care more about me more than you ever have!” Kuroo scowled the argument grew more heated

“You know you don’t and won’t ever have a chance” she gritted her teeth

“Even so I’d rather chase someone who cares about me even only platonically then a cheating whore” Kuroo clenched his fist“Even if we’ll be stuck as friends forever I’ll live with that I’ll even push those feelings back” Kuroo tried holding his tears back as some began to fall

“Fine let it be that way” she said “Just know you’re pathetic especially for your feelings for them” she walked away leaving Kuroo alone

Unbeknownst to Kuroo you heard everything he said about you. You felt your heart rapidly thumping from everything he professed about you even more so at the thought that he felt those feelings for you and was willing to push them back for you just so you’d both stay as friends. As you were dazed however you noticed Kuroo looking at you.

“I… How long were you watching?” Kuroo sniffed 

“Enough to hear the whole thing” you replied back quietly

“I see…” he looked down trying to wipe the tears

You felt the tension between the both of you grow bigger and bigger you had to say something

“Did you mean all the things you said to her?” You asked 

“Yeah every single one” Kuroo nodded

“Even the part where you’d accept us just being friends” you played with your fingers

“Listen Y/N nothing’s gonna change I promise we can still be best friends and–” Kuroo stopped as he felt your soft lips press against his

“You don’t need to accept us just being friends, I want it to be more” you smiled brightly as he blushed

“Yeah I’d love that!” He spoke as he pulled you for another kiss though you both stopped as soon as you heard a loud YEAH!

“MY PLAN WORKED!” Bokuto let out a very mischievous laughter followed by Yaku punching his elbow

“You ruined their moment!” Yaku scolded

“Sorry I can’t help it!” Bokuto rubbed his elbow 

“Well I’ll have to thank my best bro!” Kuroo cheered “I’M THE BEST BROTHER AND BRO IN THE WORLD” Bokuto yelled in joy with the biggest toothy smile

“Yeah you really are” you smiled brightly