#tw: domdrop

[routeless-writer]

tw: blood play paired with biting, ptsd/angst with comfort mention (both sides), bdsm/scene/domdrop and use of safeword, gender neutral mc.

Consider: sex with Lilia Vanrouge.

Sex with Lilia Vanrouge when he comes home from one of his travels. he’s been gone for a week and left you to watch the boys, and you both missed each other terribly despite it only being a few days. he hugs you tight when he comes home and before he can even give you the souvenirs he got for you he kisses you, and kisses you and kisses you and it just becomes an unstoppable flow of all the love he had to give you while he was gone that he bottled up for you, and before you know it you’re in his bed and he’s leaving little marks on you to remind you that no matter how far away he his, he’s always yours. You’re always his. You’re always each other’s.

Sex with Lilia Vanrouge when he’s between your legs for hours on end, and then inside you for even more. He’s teased you all day, not letting you cum, taking away the high right before it hits, just to finally snap and lose all his composure because you give him that look that sends shivers down his spine and blood straight to his cock and he holds you down and rams into you after what seems like an eternity of slow pumping. Your climax crashes over the both of you and he lays there, kissing your neck as you catch your breath.

Sex with Lilia Vanrouge for the first time. sex with Lilia for your first time. it’s his thousandth, surely with the way his hands so expertly trace your dips and curves and sharp edges in ways that you’ve never known from anyone. he tells you that you’re in good hands, that he knows the body well, that he wants to know your body better than anyone else. he’s gentle as he pulls you close by your hips and leans down to press kisses to your waist.

Sex with Lilia when you’re exhausted and he’s just in a mood to give you head until you pass out and can sleep properly that night, where you say you’d feel bad not giving him any, and he shuts you up quick by telling you that this is what he wants tonight, that he doesn’t need to finish, he just wants to taste you and watch you writhe underneath him until the relaxation can wash over you and you can be at peace for once after days of chasing after your classmates. And he does, and it works, because he knows you.

Sex with Lilia when you’ve been in pain, so much emotional and physical pain, for years and years of being used by others and all he wants is to show you how much he loves you, how no words can ever describe how deeply he cares for you and wants to take care of you like you take care of him. So he uses his tongue and his teeth and his lips and his fingers and gives you everything he has to give in the bed with you to show you how much he loves you. You’re a commitment to him, he knows you’re the one, and he wants you to know that you can be free of all that pain now.

Sex with Lilia when he’s having a very very bad day, and needs to know that you’re real, that all the good things he has now are real, that all the suffering was for something because he can hold his little human and trace his hands along their thighs in the privacy of his own home and you’re both safe. That nothing is going to rip you away. That he’s just as loved and just as cared for as he loves and cares for you, that you think he’s just as beautiful as he sees you.

Sex with Lilia after he dyes your hair in his bathroom with him. You both wash out your dye in a freezing cold shower and how can he not take the opportunity to grab your ass a little? Your nipples are perked from the chill and he leans in to give them a nibble. You both giggle and get out and dry off, and he offers to warm you up.

Sex with Lilia where he’s doing a scene with you and he’s the dom and he calls the safeword because he had a flashback and suddenly can’t bring himself to use the toys he laid out for you. You hold him as he gets misty eyed and kiss his tears away, telling him you’re okay, telling him he’s okay, that you’re not hurt. Helping him through such a harsh domdrop and telling him to breathe, in and out, that nothing is wrong. You’re not mad.

Sex with Lilia after playfully asking him to bite you, and he happily obliges. He kisses you until you’re breathless, trailing them down your jaw to your neck, nibbling and sucking on the skin and leaving dark hickies before he sinks his fangs in. He hums contentedly as he feels you squirm underneath him, and laps up the last of the blood. Some of it spills onto your pillow. He can’t help but tell you how sweet you are, and can’t help but wonder how sweet you are elsewhere.

Sex with Lilia Vanrouge.

[safetycar-restart]

Aftercare - Team principal AU

Team principal!reader/Charles

Tw: under-negotiated dynamic (for plot reasons, I strongly encourage kink negotiating irl), subdrop, irresponsible dom behaviour, angst.

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It had been a while since you and Charles started your little adventure. You are trying not to think about it when you step outside of your house and put on your ‘boss’ facade. You wouldn’t admit that Charles’ little face, wet with desire and need, finds its way into your brief moments of daydreaming while you try to go on your business during the day. You wouldn’t admit that you keep his letters where he describes what he wants you to do to him in detail in a locked drawer in your office, either. To save some face, you keep this ‘situationship’, as you name it, unstructured, like random, powerful bursts of light that ignite your soul every now and then. You sometimes wonder if you will ever collar him, make him completely yours but you shake that thought off immediately as it comes because what is happening is nothing but a fling. A dangerous one for both of you, undoubtedly. 

Still, you find yourself holding his head fondly at a moment that feels like has been stolen from heaven. Charles is on your bedroom floor, knees digging into the carpet uncomfortably, bound by scarlet ropes matching with old bite marks and hickeys you scattered on normally covered parts of his body. He is panting, trying to keep his composure after staying like that for an hour at that point. You had tied him up like that when he arrived at your place unannounced. You still had work stuff to finish. 

Obviously, after he takes his place as a prized statue on your bedroom floor, you already know that you are not going to get anything done tonight. Nevertheless, you kill time to get him worked up and to watch him break under anticipation. The slight guilt creeps up on you. You know, as a fact, that you are not indeed taking advantage of his submission. You are not his dom, you are just domming him occasionally. He is an adult who knows his safe words to get himself out of this situation. While you use these arguments to clear your conscience, you already know that he couldn’t say no to whatever you want from him because he is already far too gone in submission since the day he saw you. 

To avoid overthinking even further, you drop your laptop and pace toward him. You see his body flinch with your sudden movement and catch his glossy doe eyes. He is far too gone, nearly shaking with the anxiety brought by anticipation. You grab his hair and tug it experimentally to see how he reacts. His body follows your weak tug and loses balance. He is far too gone into subspace to do anything but follow your lead but you know that it is an anxious submission. You know that Charles is trying to find comfort and belonging at a place where he doesn’t even know if he is welcome. Your insistence on not defining where this is going forces you two to flirt with the boundaries of subdrop and even domdrop during every scene. 

You let go of his hair and watch him miserably fall to his side with the movement. He is holding back tears now. He feels like he would die if he is forced to be somewhere else than your vicinity right now but he also feels like he is about to jump out of his skin with uncertainty. He cannot stop himself from falling into the subspace but he cannot feel completely safe either because he doesn’t know when this is going to end and when he is going to be kicked out abruptly.

You grab his hair and force him onto his knees again. Your brain is falling into autopilot to not feel the overwhelming want to make him yours, here and now, completely and forever. Then, you slap his pretty, pretty face.

Charles lets out a whimper and fights to keep his balance to stay on his knees. You absentmindedly caress his hair.

“You think you can just turn up on my doorstep like a fucking lost puppy? Who do you think you are?”

He is unable to form coherent words, due to his fear of giving a wrong answer and being punished for his unrightful clinginess.

You slap him again. And again. Until at some point he lets out a loud yelp. That stops you immediately and you sink to your knees to see what is wrong. Charles is trying to hide his hurt but you see some stray tears streaming down his face. 

“Charles? What’s wrong?”

He mewls at your question and tilts his head left. Suddenly, you figure out what is wrong. The last slap accidentally landed on his ear instead of his cheek. That obviously pushed him over his breaking point. Guilt and compassion bloom in your chest and an urge to leave all this scene behind to just simply hold him becomes unavoidable. 

“I can’t … it’s ringing…”

You start untying him with calm but urgent hushes while he keeps crying. He finally figures out you are untying him and tries to hold onto the rope in your hand.

“Charles, darling, we cannot keep going like this. I need to untie you.” you say, trying to sound as calm and soft as possible. He seems like he might shatter into pieces if you raise your voice even a little bit. When you manage to pry the rope from his hands, he clings to your arm.

“Please, please… tie me up again. Please don’t let me go. I’ll be better. I will stop crying. I’d do anything… I’d…”

He is interrupted by uncontrollable sobs. You sigh in pain. He thinks you’ll kick him out because he hasn’t been ‘good’ and ‘couldn’t take it’. Well, you think to yourself, that’s what you get for trying to ‘casually’ dom someone. And what is the point in resisting something you want so badly as well? What is the point in denying your and Charles’ nature calling to each other?

“It is okay Charles, you are going to be okay. I’ll take good care of you now. Just let me get you to bed.”

He is shaking so badly to get on his feet. So you carry him. You are glad all the time you spent at the gym is paying off while being surprised at how light he is. You gently lay him on your bed. He looks so exposed, so vulnerable under your gaze. You wanted to break him since the moment you laid your eyes on him and now he is laying broken on your bed. However, this brings you no satisfaction nor joy because you know, you know you broke him wrong. You let him think that he is disposable, replaceable for you out of your fear of getting attached to this prettiest little sub that you most definitely shouldn’t be with like this. 

This is no time for guilt, though. You have a rapidly dropping sub in your hands and you cannot even assess the damage yet. You see him closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around himself to calm his sobs, and you know you don’t have much time to fix this. You run to your ensuite bathroom to fetch a damp towel. He doesn’t even realise you are gone and he flinches when you hold his forearms. You slowly push his arms aside and run the damp cloth to wipe to sweat off him, to soothe him. He calmly gives into your gentle touches. 

When you are done, he opens his eyes to the loss of contact. 

“C-can you call me a taxi? I’ll b-b-be gone in no time…” His shaky voice wrenches your heart.

“I am not letting you go, darling, you are dropping.”

Your efforts to calm him down go to waste when he starts shaking again with your acknowledgement of the situation.

“I d-don’t wanna drop…I just wanted to be good.”

This puts a little smile on your face. “Don’t worry, precious, I’ll catch you.”

You carry him to your bathroom and sit him on the bathroom floor while you start running the bath. Charles has so much he wants to say but his words are not cooperating. When the warm bath is finally full, you gently ease him into the bathtub and start washing his hair. Your nightshirt is soaking wet in no time. You have to reposition him every couple of minutes because he physically cannot keep his body upright. However, his crying seems to subside. You slowly rub the washcloth on the hickeys on his chest. There isn’t going to be anything sexual between you and Charles, you think to yourself until you sort everything out. This ‘situationship’ fried his nerves, hurt him enough and honestly, you cannot say that you are in any better condition.

 

After washing him, you rinse his hair tenderly while massaging his scalp. He keeps slipping lower and lower in the water. You find the metaphor rather bitter when you readjust his bruised body the millionth time. You cannot let him slip away from you anymore. 

You wrap him into a warm towel and carry him back to your bedroom. He looks smaller, somehow younger like this. You take your time drying his hair while his body hesitates between waking world and slumber. You find a large and soft sleep t-shirt from the depths of your wardrobe and put it on Charles’ limp body. You wonder how many times he had to take care of himself like this alone after your encounters. You smoothly pull him onto your chest. His hand grabs your nightshirt tightly purely out of instinct

You know when the morning comes, there will be no more room for guilt, cowardice and non-commitment. Even in the best scenario, he will wake up in the scary land of subdrop. It is okay, though. Because this time you’ll be there to hold him.

~🐍

🐍, would you accept my hand in marriage? We can go to the court house right now. Join eve and i's polycule cause oh my god this is fucking incredible. I'm gonna try to add my own thoughts, but I dont think I can make this any better so it will probably just be me babbling incoherently.

The idea of you not wanting to cement things with Charles because you know you wont be able to let him go... it's incredible.

I also think part of the problem is that you're his team principle and he's the golden boy? Because even when Charles is kneeling at your feet, you know he belongs to Ferrari more than he belongs to you.

The problem is, Charles thinks you wont make things official because he isnt good enough. Which just breaks him, because he doesnt know how to be better? He's doing everything he can to prove to you he's good, but clearly it isnt enough because you're still not making things official.

You know it's wrong, of course.

But you also dont quite realise how serious it for Charles? Because as much as you want him to be yours, you think for Charles it's more about him wanting a Dom than wanting you specifically.

You couldn't be further from the truth, of course, because Charles wants you so badly that his chest aches. He just wants to be yours.

That's it. That's all he wants.

And his done everything to make himself someone you might want, but you never do. You never take him up on it.

I think maybe you might have completely misjudged why Charles came over unannounced that evening? You think he's there because he's horny, because he wants to scene.

And yeah you're partially right, he does want to scene. But Charles came by without even messaging you beforehand because he couldn't think straight. He needed to submit, needed you take control for him.

He has the time of his life while you tie him, because you're so close and your hands are all over him and the rope makes him feel so safe and constrained. All he wants to do once he's been tied, is just lay in your arms.

But then you walk away? You sit down at your desk? You tell him you have work to do?

And he just... cant you see? Cant you see that he needs you? Cant you see that he came over because he needs you? Why would you leave him now?

So he waits, because of course he does.

And when you finally come over, you slap him. Charles cant decide if he wants to fling himself in your arms or burry himself under a rock and never return.

You assume it's sexual, because Charles is hard and it's always sexual for Charles except it isnt. He doesnt want that, but he cant say what he does want because he knows you'll turn him away.

But then you slap him again and you realise the sound he lets out is pain not pleasure.

The worst is how Charles gets even more distressed when you say you're going to untie him. You assume he wants the scene to end, that he needs aftercare now. But Charles doesnt even consider aftercare, he just thinks you're going to turn him away the moment he's untied and he cant stand that right now.

Him mumbling about how he'll be good, how he'll do whatever you want, just please dont untie him is so heartbreaking.

At that point, you just have to take control because Charles is dropping fast and you know there's no way he's going to be coherent enough to understand you without you helping him.

So yeah, you carry him to bed, you untie him as slowly as you can and then you just hug him for a moment. He keeps on mumbling about how sorry he is, how he'll be better, how he can leave if you want.

And the poor thing gets even more distressed when you say, "you're dropping. I'm not leaving you now."

Charles just shakes his head and says, "I wont drop! I'll be good! I promise. Please... I wont drop just keep holding me please..."

You take him to the bathroom, running him a bath.

And he's so surprised when you start washing him? Because he really thought he was going to have to do it himself.

Even though he's dropping, and he's dropping hard, he's also smiling every now and then and mumbling thank yous because you're close and you're touching him and looking after him and that's all he wants.

(And in some fucked up way, if it takes dropping to get that... then he thinks it's worth it)

He starts to drift when you wash his hair, his body no longer having the energy to fight his drop.

He goes deep when you say, "I'll catch you, dont worry baby. I'm so sorry for what happened, but I promise you I will look after you now. I wont ever leave you like that again."

When you get him to bed, he just clings to you, so much so that he wont even let you go for you to go find him a shirt to wear.

You have to offer to fetch him the softest shirt you have, knowing how much Charles loves soft clothes and then Charles finally lets you go, but he watches anxiously as you find him a shirt and walk back, like you might disappear if he's not watching you.

You let him sleep against your chest, repeating to yourself that you will discuss this in the morning.

And I think, I think Charles might demand a collar? This is serious to him, he doesnt want another Dom, he wants you. And what he needs is to feel like he's yours, like you wont leave him.

You agree, of course.