#tw:depressiom

[faust-was-here]

Do you ever wish you could just stop existing?

TW: suicide

Sorry for the edgy title guys. I know this will just seem like I’m looking for attention but I’m not really sure what to do. Both my mental AND physical health have been very bad lately to the point of where I had thoughts about killing myself (which I’ve never had in my life) and my physical health got so bad that I had to stay in bed for a day due to not being able to move. A section of this depression and anxiety is extreme loneliness due to having few to none friends in my life at all, the closest one I have being 3 states away and also super busy. With this loneliness I don’t have the motivation to start conversations on my own but feel worse because no one has tried contacting me first (a reason why I don’t have many irl friends: I talk to them and invite them places and they respond with one word then never show up) pathetic I know. So I’m not really sure what to do anymore as I don’t really interact with any of you anymore, I’m falling out of doing the things I love (including the arcana) and I just don’t have it in me to make content anymore

So I’ve been thinking about deleting my blog

It’s a big difference I know and if you want to hate on me asking for attention, go ahead, it definitely seems like I am. I’m not entirely sure if I want to get rid of my arcana blog but honesty I’ve hit rock bottom in everything and I doubt more than one person is going to see this, just like my artwork. So if you’ve read this far, thanks I guess, try not to hate me. And I’m sorry.

[punkcupine]

/another day wasted /another day where I just give up on everything /another day with me taking another step towards leaving