#two eunb

[lilidawnonthemoon]

Forever EunB Forever Rise 🕊️🌟🌟

you two angels are so loved & missed 💜

[gfriendunited]

© Two EunB | do not edit (1/2)

[darlingbakes]

━♡ guess the age 26 year old december baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because samantha song is just as cheerful as the month of december. wait, why do they remind me of kwon eunbi? beyond that, they seemed warm & charming upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of overbearing & stubborn though. i hope they get acquainted here in complex #4 / apartment #1217 / floor #4; she seems to have a lot going on with her job as a pastry chef & bakery shop owner

hi lovebugs! bunny here with another muse. this is my little ball of sunshine, sam! prob one of my favorite muses. she’s adorable and very lovable. just really wants to make frens with everyone and does that by randomly leaving boxes of cookies and cupcakes at their doorstep. she’s no stranger to seoul, but has recently made the city her home and set up a shop there that hopefully lots of tenant visit! smash that like if you want plots or slide into my ims or hmu on d!scord if you’d like. <3

name: samantha song birth date: december 17, 1994 place of birth: santa cruz, california romantic orientation: homoromantic sexual orientation: lesbian relationship status: single pronouns: she/her gender: cis-woman family: mother, father, two older brothers ( 7 and 4 years older ) pets: one 2 year old yorkie named pie piercings: 10, five in each ear tattoos: none.

parents are 2nd gen korean american’s. she was born in cali but traveled back and forth between south korea and america a lot since her dad owns some tech companies in both, which is now run by sam’s father and her brothers. her family is kinda loaded...on both sides.

attended private school in california since her parents wanted her to have the best education. she was cared for by nannies often whenever she wasn’t traveling with her family and that’s where she discovered her passion for baking. there was one nanny in particular that she really loved a lot and stayed with their family until sam was eighteen. the two would cook together a lot and that only helped same perfect her skills even more.

after she graduated high school sam enrolled in baking/pastry arts school in france. after she graduated she moved back home in california for a while and worked in a few high end restaurants before ultimately deciding to make the move to seoul, where her brothers are located running her father’s businesses. with the help of her family she was able to eventually open her own bakery and confections shop (darling little sweets) a year and a half later. she’s been in seoul for four years, but moved into dallyeog just two years ago.

personality wise sam is a literal ball of sunshine. she just loves people so much. probably one of the most kindest people you could ever meet. she comes from a very close, loving, and supportive family. she’s a lesbian and hasn’t really had the opportunity to get into any serious relationships. most of her romantic life consisted of short live flings. especially since she moved back and forth between cali and sk a lot. she’s a stress baker so catch her awake at 2am baking 4 dozen cookies or any entire six layer cake just because she can’t sleep or she’s worrying about things she likely has no control over. most of the time she gives them away or randomly hosts a dinner party to get her friends to eat them lol. pls love her!!!

i’m open to all plots. besties, friends, neighbors, fwb, maybe someone she’s really interested in and they are really into her too but no one will make a move lmao, enemiesssss! f you turn into an enemy of sam’s...then you must’ve done something really forked up, gimmie a bad influence!!! plsssss  

[seraphicladies-blog]

Honestly, I am waiting for the time where people shut up about the accident and LC. There are very specific times to grieve and remember and that is birthdays and the anniversary. The 361 other days of the year please just move on. Please, move on. This obsession people have over the accident is helping no one cope. It won't even help you. Move on and dedicate your time and love to Ashley, Sojung, and Zuny.

[sailor-freak]

Go EunB - Ladies’ Code MV Evolution (2013-2014)

Some lovely code EunB gifs on her birthday! The So Wonderful gif is actually the moment that made EunB my first bias in Ladies’ Code, which is why I wanted to gif that specific moment haha. She’s still my joint bias wrecker with RiSe I could not choose between those two angels ❤️. We miss you so much EunB!

[dadaxla]

alright here it is! my fifth tattoo, the ladies' code triangle logo with two sakura flowers on my left ankle. by apb_tattoo on instagram. it's a little red and swollen right now but i'm really happy with it!

the meaning: the triangle represents ashley sojung and zuny and the flowers are for eunb and rise. i chose sakura flowers because 1. rise is from japan 2. they represent "the short lived beauty of youth" and 3. they have five petals like lc has five members.

myst3ry was also the first comeback i was actually there for and able to support them when it was released. ive loved that triangle logo since it was revealed for myst3ry. it was also the first lc album i bought.

2019 was my 5th year of stanning lc and this was also my 5th tattoo!

it's cheesy but ladies' code has meant a lot to me since i was in high school and their music has brought me a lot of happiness. i've also found a lovely family of lavelys. lc is just a huge part of my life right now and im happy to immortalize that in a tattoo.

my biggest concern is that someone will steal this idea and get one for themselves, please don't! this means a lot to me and i would hate for someone to copy it. thank you

[blog-oddeyecircle]

Bucci gang’s favourite kpop girl group headcanons

Giorno’s favourite girl group is Gfriend. They caught his eye during their Me Gustas tu, he liked their cute and innocent girl concept. His most favourite songs are Glass Bead, Summer Rain, Flower and falling Light His bias is Umji because he finds her pretty talented and he thinks she has an adorable face. In his opinion, he feels that their recent comeback Fever is not as good as other songs like Flower, and he feels that the dance is very underwhelming. He is definitely a buddy with Gfriend and he likes to watch them on game shows since they seem so ongoing and friendly.

Bruno really likes Ladies Code, they caught his eye with their sad balled I’ll smile even if it hurts, he discovered that this song was created after two of their members EunB and Rise died during a car crash when Ladies code were driving back from a concert. He discovered that they used to do happy, funky or classy concepts when Ladies Code used to be a five-member group before it became a three-member group after the car crash. He stans Sojung since he really likes her voice, he really admires that she is one of the few idols that admit to having an eating disorder and to try to make herself healthier since she suffered from anorexia.

Abbacchio’s favourite girl group is Brown Eyed Girls, they caught his eye during their Sixth Sense era, and he found the song very impressive. He stans Gain because he really likes her solo song Paradise Lost due to its dark theme and her impressive voice. His most favourite songs are Wonder Women, Sixth Sense and Kill Bill. He’s the type to be a little snobbish and elitist with other girl groups. He tends to put down other girl groups with phrases like “Brown Eyed Girls is not some cute and pure group like Gfriend Giorno,” before being told by Bruno that all girl groups are valid no matter what concept they do.

Mista adores Lovelyz, he likes cute girls, Loveryz is definitely full of cute and loveable girls. He did like their cutesy songs Hi and Achoo. But he started stanning them when they have done a cover of Brown Eyed Girls song Sixth Sense, he was impressed because despite Abbacchio claiming that the original song by Brown Eyed Girl was better but he didn’t care what he thought in his opinion they gave off a cooler and mysterious vibe with that cover. He loved their recent song Moonlight a lot and he loves all of them equally, but he does love Kei a lot.

Fugo stans F (X) that their company SM just abandoned randomly and focused on their other girl group Red Velvet. He is absolutely furious that SM just deserted a completely talented group like that, he loves Red Light a lot because it gives off a pretty edgy vibe and it’s not a typical love song. He loves all of them equally when he found that Sulli committed suicide due to extreme depression, he was furious that people actually bullied and mistreated this young woman through malicious trolling and how SM would refuse to take any action against.

Narancia really likes Twice. They appeal to him with their happy and bouncy concepts, they caught his eye during their TT era. He loved it how the members were dressed up in Halloween themed costumes in it. His most favourite members are Nayeon, Momo and Chaeyoung. His most favourite songs are TT, Yes or Yes, Dance the night away and Fancy. He is happy that they are popular groups and one of South Korea’s girl group. He doesn’t listen to Abbacchio when he tells him that Brown Eyed Girls is better, he just listens to Twice songs all day.

Trish adores G (I-dle) as they seem so cool to her. They caught her eye during their Senorita Era, she likes that one of the members Soyeon runs the group rather than the company but one of her most favourite members is Shuhua because when Shuhua actually gets to sing, she is drawn to her voice a lot. But of course, she understands that Shuhua is still learning the Korean language and she is not comfortable with singing in Korean yet. Her most favourite songs are Senorita, Hann and Lion.

[kpoptimeout]

Top 20 Most Underrated K-Pop Songs of the Decade (2010-2019) PART 1

The 2010s has come and gone before we knew it.  

Continuing with the K-Pop Timeout Tradition (see 2018 Ver) of listing the Top 10 Most Underrated K-Pop Songs because all the other sites are just bothered with the Top 10 that pretty much everyone will have heard of/have fan wars over, below we have created a list of the Top 20 Most Underrated K-Pop Songs of the Decade because 10 spots is not enough to cover the amount of talent slept on.

For these reasons, we will list 10 of them here in PART 1 and an additional 10 in PART 2. This is in alphabetic order NOT in the order of awesomeness because all of them are awesome. Also, all MVs are linked in the song titles because Tumblr won’t let me share that many videos in one post.

100% “U Beauty” (2014)

TOP Media has really failed to make their groups successful since TEEN TOP (and have not really promoted TEEN TOP these days either) and 100% was the first group to fall victim to TOP Media’s poor promotions. Debuting in 2012, the group had so much potential and talent. Rockhyun is arguably one of the best K-Pop main vocals of his generation (which global superstar Rain concurs as a coach on KBS’ “The Unit”) but most K-Pop fans won’t even know.  Out of their repertoire, we found “U Beauty” to be worthy of being in the Top 20 most underrated tracks of the decade because of how catchy and wholesome the song is - boy groups often go for either a very cute or very powerful sound and this was a perfect balance of the two. The boys are able to show their cool and manly side through the powerful choreography and the soothing bridge while the rest of the song is cheerful and sweet. It blows our mind that these boys did not receive more attention in 2014 following such a great track. The boys are still an active boy band so go support their latest releases and check out this underrated gem called “U Beauty”!

A-JAX “INSANE” (2013)

A promising boy band which debuted during DSP Media’s more problematic years (essentially this whole decade until 2016/17), A-JAX never got the promotions they deserved. “INSANE” could have been the right direction for the group to pursue (except DSP gave them cute songs afterwards and later no songs at all). Perhaps because this song was slept on at the time of promotions (the album only sold around 2000 copies) that DSP did not try the sound again. However, it is powerful, slightly dark, yet poppy and fun with a good amount of EDM thrown in. We have had lots of quirky sounding girl groups like f(x), Orange Caramel, Red Velvet and Oh My Girl but not many quirky sounding boy bands since SHINee. “INSANE” was a unique song that could have paved the way for A-JAX to have gone down such a path. While the group has officially disbanded this year, “INSANE” is without a doubt one of the top underrated bops of the decade that you should check out!

B.A.P “WAKE ME UP” (2017)

B.A.P had a great start during their early days and were essentially EXO’s rivals in the 2012-13s and brought the powerful self-produced boy band sound before BTS’ debut. However, likely due to a combination of TS Entertainment being shit and them being shittier after the members sued them during 2014-15, B.A.P never reached the heights of their early 2010s popularity again after returning in 2016 and have officially disbanded in 2019. While B.A.P dropped many underrated bops in their final years, we found “WAKE ME UP” to be the one making our Top 20. Not only was this song wonderful to listen to with the haunting repeats of “WAKE ME UP” in the intro and chorus, but it also has a brilliant message as one of the first K-Pop MVs to clearly illustrate different types of mental illness. Especially since the lyrics also spoke to some of the members, especially leader Bang Yongguk’s own mental health struggles, it was frustrating seeing such a good and heartfelt song receive so little attention in South Korea. If you love meaningful K-Pop tracks, you would love “WAKE ME UP”!

C-Clown “Shaking Heart” (2013)

C-Clown was one of the many amazing new groups in 2012 and had a clear sound and direction of ballad-pop bops. “Shaking Heart” was the last song they made in that style before their company made them go for the more generic mainstream hip-hop heavy sound and it definitely one of the best songs of the decade that was heavily slept on. It showcased the vast talents of the group - Kangjun and Ray’s amazing vocal colour and range (and lowkey still most visually powerful vocal line from a small label), Rome and TK’s contrasting rap styles, Siwoo’s consistency and Maru’s potential in becoming a golden maknae. The group has unfortunately disbanded in 2015, only 3 years after their phenomenal start. While most of the members appear to be doing quite well, with Rome (now going by his birth name Christian Yu) having founded DPR and being a famous K-Pop MV director, Kangjun having a solid modelling career and Maru re-debuting as the main vocal for RnB trio TREI, the group itself could have done so much more if more people took notice of what a bop “Shaking Heart” is and gave them the opportunity to do more tracks of that style. Hence, if you enjoy boy band tracks that combine more ballad styles with pop, this is the song for you!

Dalmatian/DMTN “E.R.” (2012)

Dalmatian, later styled DMTN, was famous K-Pop producer MC Mong’s boy band that was gaining positive attention until member Daniel’s marijuana scandal. Member Simon often still does impromptu fan meets when he travels for work (he is now a coach and producer for idol groups in Japan) but the group has been inactive following 2013. While DMTN may now be a group of the past, their music was without a doubt amazing, with “E.R.” being a perfect example of the epitome early 2010s K-Pop sound (those who heard the DMTN “E.R”/B2ST “Fiction” mashup back then knows what’s up). The song had an emotional chorus filled with amazing ad-libs and beautiful piano instrumentals, a subtle yet sexy choreography and dramatic MV. If you love the early 2010s K-Pop sound, you would love this underrated bop!

GLAM “I Like That” (2013)

Many new K-Pop fans either don’t know them or only know them as the reason Big Hit Entertainment has not been recruiting female trainees for many years now (because one member went off to blackmail world star Lee Byunghun - you can learn all about the drama here). However, GLAM was actually an extremely promising girl group and the first idol group fully produced by Bang PD under Big Hit. Like their now world-famous brother group BTS, GLAM was a group with great vocals and rap, with no problem going hard in choreography and making woke statements (their debut song includes lyrics about being down to kiss boys or girls). “I Like That” was a perfect example of their style and abilities. While the song was just a remake of 1990s K-Pop track "Why Do You" by Chuli and Miae, it was done so well it was essentially GLAM’s own song. It is fun, it is catchy and just a strong and confident girl group bop that existed early in the decade when most girl groups besides 2NE1 and 4Minute did not go hard but cute or sexy. If you love powerful girl group tracks, you would love “I Like That”!

HISTORY “DREAMER” (2013)

The first boy band ever debuting under LOEN Entertainment (now Kakao M), the 5-member group of all visuals had many amazing tracks usually in the vein of dark and sexy concepts. The members were also active in song production and choreography and honestly had everything one could ask for to create a successful group. However, South Korea and overseas K-Pop fans both did not seem to have noticed the existence of such a talented and consistently awesome group and they disbanded in 2017. “DREAMER”, their debut track, is arguably one of the best songs of the decade because of the stage musical style of the song - the piano instrumentals in the verses and the marching band inclusion in the buildup to the chorus, with the crazy smooth footwork and wonderful harmonisation of the boys. There is no other K-Pop boy group song like this. If you are a fan of musicals, this is the song for you!

Ladies’ Code “Galaxy” (2016)

Ladies’ Code had a strong debut, being one of the top rookies in 2013 along with current superstars BTS. While their developing career took a huge blow after the car accident which claimed the lives of two members, EunB and Rise, the remaining girls Ashley, Sojung and Zuny powered on to continue creating amazing music. It is painful to see how their excellence is still ignored by the K-Pop fan base at large. Even Billboard listed “Galaxy” as the #19 best K-Pop track of the decade and very deservingly so. “Galaxy” was their first return as a 3-piece and see the girls take a darker and more mature sound following their earlier fun and quirky retro bops. This transition was done well, as more retro sound choices like jazz instrumentals and 80s chime synths were still used in this comeback as a bridge between the sounds of the two Ladies’ Code eras. The song also complements main vocal Sojung’s exceptionally raspy and low voice very well. These girls are still active and deserve so much more. If you enjoy the darker experimental tracks of f(x), Red Velvet and LOONA, “Galaxy” would be your jam! 

MYNAME “Baby I’m Sorry” (2013)

Debuting in 2011 under legendary Korean RnB duo Fly to the Sky’s Hwanhee’s label, MYNAME was the boy band you knew could sing. And damn they could sing so well. Even the rappers of MYNAME sing typical K-Pop lead vocal quality. For this reason, it made a lot of sense for MYNAME to go for a more ballad-pop sound and flourish in such a musical environment. While they did produce a lot of great songs of that sound, the lack of attention from the Korean public pushed them to go for a more generic hip-hop based boy band sound in 2015. “Baby I’m Sorry” was an example of the greatness of their earlier sound which was just brilliant Korean action drama OST material. The MV was also one of the rare story MVs that make it seem like you are watching a movie (plus the boys acted well). While MYNAME is still active, they now pretty much exclusively promote in Japan, where they are actually appreciated and chart high. In Korea, the members gave their last shot as being idols in KBS’ poorly received survival program “The Unit” and now just act sometimes or model. If you love dramatic ballad-based boy band tracks, you should check out MYNAME’s “Baby I’m Sorry”!

Nine Muses “Wild” (2013)

Once known as the real generals of the Korean military due to their huge fan base among conscripted soldiers, Nine Muses was THE sexy girl group of the decade who somehow always existed between real fame and nugudom during their active years from 2010-2019. Like they have dedicated fans but they never win music show #1s. And the song that should have really put them on the map for all Koreans and K-Pop fans is their 2013 comeback “Wild”. This was just pop perfection - it is catchy, showcases each of the 9 members’ unique vocal colours and performance style, and had some of the sharpest and most in-sync girl group choreography execution of all time. It was also one in a long line of Nine Muse songs that sound like high fashion runaway music and arguably one of the peaks due to the specific line-up of members at the time. Check out “Wild”, if you would like to listen to one of the best K-Pop girl group tracks of the decade!

The other 10 Top 20 Underrated K-Pop Tracks of the Decade are listed in PART 2.

[nobaraisalive]

Support Ashley (Ladies Code)

Those who has been a while in kpop knows Ladies Code tragedy. In 2014 they were involved in a car accident that cause the death of two members, Eunb and Rise. After one year and half they cameback in February with Galaxy, as the first part of their healing trilogy that consist in 3 singles with 3 song each one. In october of the same year they comeback with The Rain. Even if both comeback showed a new side of Ladies Code, mature, elegant and classy, those comeback couldn’t bring the attention that this talented girl group deserve. They went on hiatus and they haven’t finished their healing trilogy. In 2018, two members, first Sojung and now Ashley made a solo debut. We ask you to support their solo activity hoping they will make a full comeback soon. They are super talented and their music is very unique and beautiful. They deserve a chance in order to fullfil they dream for them and for the memory of Eunb and Rise. 

Thank you in advance

Ashley “Here We Are” mv

[zuccot97piz]

I don’t know why but since these two beautiful women died, I always felt this huge love for them. They were so pretty and talented, and even though I wasn’t into Ladies Code before, I became a fan after the accident. I discovered I really like their music and Rise and Eunb became my favourites. I wish they were still with us, showing everyone how beautiful they are, but at least they’re shining in a better place, always together and always this beautiful. <3

[choiyuyuna]

150920 | GFRIEND ‘Flower Bud’ Yeouido Fansign  | Two EunB

[gfriendunited]

© Two EunB | do not edit (1/2)

[seyoons-archive-blog]

for the past four years i haven’t been able to make it through september 2nd or 3rd without crying, and it’s still so hard to realize that eunb + risae are really gone. ladies’ code was my first rookie group that i loved & supported from day 1 and to lose two of my favorite people within days of each other....my heart breaks every year on this day.

[ladidalavely]

//some additional thoughts i’ve had about the situation with Shinee and some other things.

So early 2015, when the loss of Ladies Code’s EunB and RiSe was still fresh and was still a hot topic on everyone’s minds in addressing the issue of how unsafe the driving culture in south korea was, and how managers were so dangerously over scheduled that one could make such a huge oversight as speeding home in the rain to meet tomorrow’s schedules that it took the lives of two rookie k-pop idols.

and honestly, nearly four years later, I’m not entirely sure if that’s changed all that much, considering their manager wasn’t even given a very harsh sentence for what could probably, arguably be considered, murder.

but i digress.

people didn’t think twice about that until after it cost someone their life.

I do remember one horrible thing that happened shortly after Ladies Code’s accident that more relevantly applies to the current situation with Jonghyun.

and that was the suicide of Ahn Sojin.

if you don’t remember who she was, she was a contestant on a survival show that DSP Media produced to find the new member of KARA, after Nicole and Jiyoung left the group the year before. obviously not a great attempt, since after choosing a winner, they disbanded a half a year or so later.

anyway, Sojin’s dream was to be an idol. but because she was 23, she was the maximum age one can debut at, and that show was basically her last chance to make it into the industry.

her own family didn’t support her, and as she was the oldest contestant on the show, she was often criticized harshly for making small mistakes.

When the show ended, the two trainees who didn’t win, Somin and Sojin were left holding a metaphorical bag. Somin however was later chosen to be a part of DSP’s new girl group that they were putting together. (later named APRIL)

Sojin, however was not told about this and was not considered for the group, being too old to debut by that point.

DSP terminated her contract, and she reportedly spiraled into depression. and despite concerns of close friends, Sojin threw herself off the tenth floor of her apartment building.

there wasn’t very much coverage for her death, nor any conversations that took place about why she did it. her family didn’t do an autopsy. they just quietly laid her to rest and the world moved on.

I feel like, maybe that will be different this time.

Sojin was obviously not well known enough to have 24 hour media coverage, or a wake attended by other idols, since she never made it into the industry, but i don’t think there’s a single person in that whole country who hasn’t heard Jonghyun’s name, or hasn’t been made aware of the existence of Shinee in the last 24 hours.

because he was such a well known and famous celebrity, one can only hope that this will be something that continues to be talked about, and that south korea will finally address this issue and look closely at how they treat mental illnesses and mental health, especially where it concerns the entertainment industry, since he was apparently, not the only idol who’s struggled with it.

after Ladies Code’s accident, fans were worried because Ashley, Sojung and Zuny had survivors guilt and they had to have therapy for months before they were strong enough to return to the stage again. if they had chosen not to return at all, not a single person would’ve blamed them. I’m thankful that Polaris took the initiative to look after both the living and the deceased so well to prevent any further tragedy.

I think that all companies need to be that considerate of how they treat the people they employ. after all, they’re making them money, it’s the least they can do, right?

I will offer my sincerest condolences to Shawols once again, because the loss of someone you look up to is horrible and as a Lavely, it pains me that another fandom now has to go through this ugly journey. I still miss RiSe and think about her and EunB alot. keeping their pictures here helps me to cope with the fact that they’re not here anymore, despite the fact that the group marches on, and i hope that in time, you guys might be able to do the same with Jonghyun.

just as Ladies Code will always be 5, so will Shinee, and I hope you guys can hold that close to you in this difficult time.

[bibi-the-bee]

To whom it may concern.

Today is my birthday, but I have no feelings of happiness. I was so excited about turning 22 before, but in the past few days, I even removed my birthday on facebook.

My heart is filled with grief, sorrow, anger and frustration. I don't know where to start.

It is angering that we've come to terms with how much pressure the Korean entertainment industry puts on its idols only now, when one had to be lost. I thought my country was shitty, and we had to wait until someone died in order to just do something, but I am now noticing this is a worldwide phenomenon.

Jonghyun did not commit suicide. EunB and Rise did not pass in a car accident. If you look at the bigger picture, they were all killed by the industry. And oh, how many others died just like them before, but no one spoke a word, because they weren't as famous. All three of them were killed by the peer pressure the industry puts on you, the pressure to be the best, the pressure to run from one venue to another in one day, just to get as much advertising as possible. Singers and actors are not, and I repeat, ARE NOT a goddamn product. They are people, real people, with feelings and with pains and with weaknesses.

There is nothing that hurts me more now than seeing videos of Jonghyun, smiling brightly, blindingly, laughing, being silly, and it makes me feel useless. It makes me feel useless, and blind because I could not see the pain and the darkness that was slowly swallowing him. As many others said, I will never, ever again be able to look at an idol's smile and genuinely believe they are happy inside. Depression is not sadness. Depression does not mean that every smile for us was a lie. Depression is deeper than that, and even if you have great love for everyone around you, it's not enough if you're lacking love for yourself.

As a person who has passed through various episodes of mild depression, I can understand. I can understand what was in his heart. The worthlessness, the fear of being forgotten. But at the same time, I'm wondering how dark was it, the place where Jonghyun was, for him to believe that? A mountain of talent to say he is worthless, that he lacks talent, and that he can't reach expectations.

He had numerous last cries for help. His last instagram post, his last instagram live, the fact that he drove his car loudly in the building's parking lot. But no one heard him. No one wanted to hear him, because Korea deals with mental health with the phrase: "get over it".

And as someone who wished for a long time to follow a career in psychiatry, who the fuck gave that man his specialist diploma? How does a PSYCHIATRIST tell a mentally ill person that they are at fault for their depression? That is something someone that is absolutely lacking culture in anything that means mental illness would say. You know what, I don't usually make this kind of wishes, but I wish you will be held responsible. I hope you, as a psychiatrist who told a young soul who had so much life ahead of him that it was his fault for his depression, as a psychiatrist who basically didn't do your job at all, blame yourself for his loss. And if you don't, you're not human.

It was a loss of a young life, whom, I repeat, had so much ahead of him. When that happens, when two systems have failed to save his life, someone has to be held responsible.

No one, and I repeat, NO ONE in this world should carry their brother's coffin. As I thought I was coming to terms with the news, with the fact that I will never, ever have the chance to see his bright smile in person, that I will never, ever, be blessed to hear his voice in new songs again, that SHINee will never again perform as 5, I came across the video from his funeral, and the undescribable pain that I was feeling is nothing compared to the pain his family, the other members and friends who have been by his side for years must feel. Watching Kibum break down and Jinki comforting him, Minho being so strong to lead, Taemin having no more tears to cry, it broke my heart. They led a brother on his final journey, and bid him farewell.

I am not okay. But I will pull through. We have to pull through and instead be there for the many artists going through the same thing. They are human. Stop pushing them to their limits. Stop talking shit about them. Both Day6's Jae and BTS' Rap Monster called out on Twitter on people who talk shit. It does affect them. It does affect them when you say you hate them, when you say they are better off dead, when you say they should disappear from the industry. Because you do not know how close they are to their breaking point.

You do not know how much power we, as fans, could have together. Fans from all fandoms, fans from everywhere in the world, both international and korean, we could do so much more to take care of our idols' mental health, so that we don't have to suffer like this again. So that they don't have to suffer again.

I have so many things to say, but so many feelings right now prevent me from putting my ideas into words.

Today, as I blow my candles out, I light up yours, Jonghyun. Rest well in Heaven. Have the happiness that you didn't have here. Please watch over your members and over us.

You did well, Jonghyun. You did amazing. Now rest well.

[choding-noona]

잘자요 (Good Night), 김종현 👼🏻

It's been a long week for most of us. The shocking news that hit the kpop world on 18th December. I am not a Shawol but I felt like writing my thoughts down. Basically, when I heard the news, I was sleeping in the bus and my phone was vibrating like crazy. Apparently, my message were flooded by friends.My mum called mine sister telling her the news. As soon as I reach home, my mum was telling me too the news in disbelief. For the last two nights, we were all discussing and updating each other over dinner. Just for your info, me, my mum & sister are also fans of Shinee since they debuted.

Tbh, Jong Hyun wasn't even my bias but hearing about his death made me felt like I lost a missing piece of my childhood. To those who started kpop in 2007-2009 phase, I think most of us were around 14-16 ish? So practically, we grew up together with our idols over the years. I spend my teenage days going crazy over oppas & unnies and Im happy about it as it releases me from peer pressure, school & getting myself into bad influences. But as I grew older & entering the 20s, i started to fall out slowly. I wasn't able to keep up with the idols new albums/shows/concerts cos I have other responsibilities I have that i need to prioritise. That goes to the same as the idols that I adore, they aged throughout the years and have also gain other commitments.

I question every possibilities why did he take his life away. What lead to his depression? Was it love? Friendship? Why didn't anyone be with him after seeing the letter? Where was his manager? Too much qns to be asked but only him do know the real answer.

Idk if it was coincidence but I started to hear the song " Oh Yeah" that Jonghyun sang with Uhm Jung Hwa.I love this song so so much. I first heard it in Korea a year ago when I passed by a shop. Since then i was hook because the song just gave me alot of happy vibes. For those who have not heard it, please do.The way He sang was so cheerful and I can imagine him smiling while singing it. I think it can bring comfort to those who are still grieving.

But little did we know, the person behind that voice was slowly crumbling inside. I couldn't bear to hear his voice again. I don't even think I can convince myself to play that song again because it's just too heart breaking. I even told my mum not to play any videos where Jong Hyun voice could be heard.

When his old friends came over (FT, Infinite, Highlight, Mighty Mouth and etc) , I just lost it. Those fond memories of them together on variety shows were the best. That made me stop for a moment & think,I better make time to appreciate the music and support them in whatever they do.

After today, watching the funeral procession, I realised you're really gone forever oppa.For a short time, I thought there was a chance that you'll be revive back.Im glad I did met you once. I'm happy to have you as part of my memories.

Have you reach the other side safely? Let go of all the pain you felt in this world. Hopefully Risae & Eunb are there to welcome heaven's new angel with open arms.In 10 to 20 years down the road, we're always gonna remember you oppa. 사랑해 ❤️ One day we shall meet again, till then Goodbye.