#typically its not straight its like. i’ll sleep for 4 hrs then wake up for 30 mins then sleep again

[stinkrascal]

[wavesmp3]

i’m so terrible at remembering to do tag games so here i am compiling all the ones i can remember into one post jsbgkakn

i was taggged to do these by @secndlife​ @queenoats​ (tecnically on my main but shh) @chocosvt​ @tidalstorm​ @oh-my-vocal-unit​

and if anyone wants to do any of these you can just say i tagged you 

this one i was tagged by karol and choco i think

rules: bold all statements that apply to you

[Appearance]: I’m over 5′5”. I wear glasses/contacts. I have blonde hair. I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing. I have one or more piercings. I have at least one tattoo. I have blue/green eyes. I have dyed or highlighted my hair. I have gotten plastic surgery. I have or had braces. I sunburn easily. I have freckles. I paint my nails. I typically wear makeup. I don’t often smile (well maybe i do actually idk). I am pleased with how I look. I prefer Nike to Adidas. I wear baseball hats backwards.

[Relationship]: I am in a relationship. I have been single for over a year. I may have a crush. I have a best friend I have known for ten years. My parents are together. I have dated my best friend. I am adopted. My crush has confessed to me. I have a long distance relationship. I am an only child. I give advice to my friends. I have made an online friend. I met up with someone I have met online.

[Hobbies/talents]: I play a sport. I can play an instrument. I am artistic. I know more than one language. I have won a trophy in some sort of competition. I can cook or bake without a recipe. I know how to swim. I enjoy writing. I can do origami. I prefer movies to tv shows. I can execute a perfect somersault. I enjoy singing. I could survive in the wild on my own. I have read a new book series this year. I enjoy spending time with friends. I travel during school or work breaks. I can do a handstand.

[Aesthetics]: I have heard the ocean in a conch shell. I have watched the sunrise. I enjoy rainy days. I have slept under the stars. I meditate outside. The sound of chirping calms me. I enjoy the smell of the beach. I know what snow tastes like. I listen to music to fall asleep. I enjoy thunderstorms. I enjoy cloud watching. I have attended a bonfire. I pay close attention to colours. I find mystery in the ocean. I enjoy hiking on nature paths. Autumn is my favourite season. I enjoy gazing into the forest canopy.

[Miscellaneous]: I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle. I am the mom friend. I live by a certain quote. I like the smell of sharpies. I am involved in extracurricular activities. I enjoy Mexican food. I can drive a stick-shift. I believe in true love. I make up scenarios to fall asleep. I sing in the shower. I wish I lived in a video game. I have a canopy above my bed. I am multiracial. I am a redhead. I own at least three dogs. I am most calm in nature.

this one i was taggged by eros

real me vs fantasy me (i had to use a diff template for real me cause i couldn’t figure out how to make that one look like me so yeah also lets ignore the fact that ‘fantasy me’ is just a whole other person,, also i added the mask because i’m so bad at making things look like me, but i feel like the ‘real’ me is relatively accurate)

i was tagged by liz 

to list ten songs i really like all by different artists 

1. smiling at phone // tobi lou 2. sleeping lessons // the shins 3. can i call you tonight // dayglow 4. affection // between friends 5. violet // peach tree rascals 6. summer // brockhampton 7. dominic’s interlude // dominic fike  8. godspeed // frank ocean  9. maar dala // from the movie Devdas 10. 3005 // childish gambino

i was tagged by eros to do this one 

Rules: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people

Air

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch small animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

Fire

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favourite season / my radio is always playing.

Water

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep *til* midday most days / i love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia/ i see emotions in colors not words .

Earth

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love the chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life.

Aether

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / I always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally.

also tagged by eros for this one, i feel like i might’ve done but i can’t remember so i’ll just do it again 

name: shawna height: like really short either 5 ft or a little under, i think that’s like 150ish cm  languages: english, malayalam (ish), and spanish (ish) nationality: american favorite season: fall favorite flower: peonies favorite scent: jasmine favorite color: i guess a good purple, either a light lavender or a dark royal purple favorite animal: sloths! favorite fictional character: april ludgate and  coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: don’t make me choose dogs or cats: can i say neither :/ average hours of sleep: anywhere between 7-10 hrs no. of blankets i sleep with: just one dream trip: italy! (mainly for the food but shh) blog established: i think a little over two years now  followers: one, it’s me  random fact: idk i suck at getting to tag games lol

and this one i was tagged by choco probably back in like april or march its been literal months 

i think thats all hopefully but i probably missed some cause my notifs stopped letting me scroll down so yeah XD okay i apologize that i’m so crap at remembering to do tag games

[craniuum]

may - june 2019.

it’s been an insane 2 months and i’ve been meaning to write about it for a while now! things are changing so quickly and in the past 10 days alone, i’ve finished taking my first huge medical licensing exam, moved into a new house, and somehow started my third year of medical school???? this is going to be a stream of consciousness/bullet point list of ideas and i’m not sure where exactly i’m going with this but let’s go

DEDICATED. it’s how most medical schools refer to the 4-8 weeks that students spend studying for step 1 of the boards; my school gave us 6 weeks to study, which is CRAZY because the exam encompassed material that we’d learned during the first 2 YEARS of school.... needless to say it was really hard to prepare and after a while i felt like i was going stir crazy. for me, dedicated was may 6th through june 19th and it was... not the ideal way to spend 6 weeks of summer t b h

a typical day for me looked like: wake up at 5 (this was really hard to adjust to given that i am the exact opposite of a morning person), exercise for 30 minutes, shower/eat breakfast, and then drive to my school library to study for 10-12 hrs, and go to bed by 10. it was just as awful as it sounds, and the only thing that got me through everything was...

MY STUDY BREAKS. i would always feel guilty about taking these but there was only so much that my brain could handle and 12 hours of nonstop studying ain’t it chief. for anyone out there about to start their dedicated studying period, i can’t stress how important it is to some time off and recharge. it helped me focus more easily when going back to work, and it was a welcome change from having to memorize yet another mechanism of action for an anti-retroviral drug or some weird ass parasite that you get from walking around barefoot y’know

i gave myself a half-day the day before my exam and i went to the riverside canal in my city (pretty much the only tourist attraction my city has to offer smh) to do some meditation and self-reflection if things didn’t go well on exam day. i had my sufjan playlist on, and the weather was absolutely beautiful that day and i felt okay about things despite having had multiple panicky breakdowns throughout the past couple weeks....

EXAM DAY. june 19th. step 1 was an 8 hour long ordeal.... 7 hour-long sections of 40 questions each, and an hour allocated for break time. it’s nice because if i finished a section early, that extra time got added to my break time, and i could move through the exam at whatever pace i wanted. i finished the exam in about 6.5 hours because i just wanted to get it over with, and i felt really unsure leaving the testing center. i had been scoring relatively well on practice tests during the week leading up to the exam, but encountering questions that i didn’t know the answer to on the real exam (which i knew would be inevitable) was jarring and it  shook my confidence up a bit. 

the first thing i did after leaving the testing site was to get a poke bowl and sleep for 12 hours, which was nice

i get my score in about a month so we’ll see how i did!! tbh i’m really glad that i still have no idea what i want to specialize in, because my step 1 score will be the biggest determinant of the things i’ll be able to specialize in. i’m not too attached to a particular field so we’ll see where my score takes me.

since test day i’ve just been chilling - albeit i only got a week of break time before starting third year, but in that time i got a new haircut and 2nd lobe piercings (something that i’ve been wanting for a while) and i’ve gotten to spend time with family and re-acclimating to society (this is not an exaggeration.... studying for 6 weeks straight literally made me forget how to talk to people)

MOVING FORWARD. my first day of third year was this past wednesday and it feels SURREAL. third year marks the transition from lecture halls to hospital wards, and i’m so excited to start being involved directly with patient care! i’m also very terrified because this is the year to step up and take responsibility and ask attending physicians if i can help with procedures or hop onto research projects, and i’m generally not that assertive of a person at all. this year is going to be a lot of me breaking out of my comfort zone and i hope i can do it.

my rotations are in this order: i start off with a neuropathology elective (which i’m really excited about!!!), then palliative care, family medicine, pediatrics, ob/gyn, neurology, psychiatry, internal medicine, and lastly surgery. i’ll be regularly updating y’all on my thoughts during these rotations because i’m sure i’ll have plenty to say

third year is also going to be a bit lonely - all of my friends are scattered all over the state, with different rotation schedules and sites. it’ll be hard to regularly see them and i’ve been worried about the toll it’ll take on my wellness, since my friend group is largely what kept me sane these past 2 years of med school :^(

WHAT ELSE? i just felt like tacking on this last section of miscellaneous updates just because. 

i moved into my own place!!! these past 2 years, i’ve had a roommate who was a classmate and once a friend, but she was an awful roommate and i’ve been waiting to get my own place for at least a year! the place i live in now is a short drive to the hospital and it comes with its own challenges (....namely no central AC.......... in 100 degree georgia weather lmao)

sufjan dropping an ep out of nowhere for pride month annihilated me

i watched a LOT of youtube during my study breaks and my favorite finds were bon appetit (oh my god... i am in absolute love with claire saffitz), kurtis connor, and lucas cruikshank (yes of fred fame)

i tried out a hello fresh subscription for a few weeks during studying and i guess i like cooking now????

so much is changing and i start rotations on monday !!!!!!!!!!!! i’m scared and nervous and excited AAAAAAAA