#upa.txt

[craniuum]

ahhh wanted to document a residency success story somewhere - today i successfully did a lumbar puncture on a tiny premature baby who was born 3 months early (so just at 25 weeks) and weighs about 600 grams 😭😭😭 i was terrified the whole time lol

[craniuum]

hi. hope everyone’s been doing well!! residency continues to fly by and i still don’t really know what i want to do with my life but i’m entertaining several options (including med-peds hospitalist, endocrinology, infectious disease... just to name a few). my gf and i are about to celebrate our 1 year anniversary and i love her more than ever. i’ve gotten back into reading for fun (!!!!!!! some current faves include ‘in the dream house’, ‘tender is the flesh’, and ‘all’s well’). i’m now a registered texas voter. my record collection is growing. i’m someone that routinely uses a planner now (to the best of my ability ofc). i love burning incense. i made soup from scratch for the first time earlier this week. i’m going to see rina sawayama in concert next month!!!!!! things have been good.

[craniuum]

this country is going up in flames but i survived my intern year!!! i just hope that our freedom to practice medicine the way we want to (backed up by evidence) does not get infringed upon by bigoted lawmakers more than it already has. excited to be a senior resident - but mainly scared for the future of healthcare.

[craniuum]

hit a residency milestone yesterday! successfully got through my first ever 28 hour call shift as a senior. unfortunately, the shift came out of nowhere... got called in for emergency coverage to replace the person originally assigned with only 30 minutes’ notice beforehand. and it was in the cardiac ICU (a service i never did as an intern). i was anxious and running purely on adrenaline the whole shift but i survived (with the help of some amazing colleagues!!), and i’m so proud of myself although there are definitely many things i can do to improve next time! 28 hour shifts are evil though and completely a product of selfish capitalistic hospital admin wanting cheap labor and the urge to unionize has never been stronger lmao

[craniuum]

me immediately coming home after a 12 hour night shift during which i had no time for a bathroom or snack break: sees that mitski is having a merch sale and impulsively buys vinyls of be the cowboy and puberty 2

[craniuum]

the sheer repression in this dialogue... impeccable

[craniuum]

got my MD yesterday and the first thing i did was celebrate with a drink ✨ (jk the first thing i did was sob uncontrollably bc this was literally 10+ years of effort but THEN i celebrated with a drink)

[craniuum]

my relationship with my gf has reached the point where we start crying with emotion when we tell each other how much we love the other person which is to say it’s going very gayly and very well 🥰

[craniuum]

there’s going to be a winter storm here over the next day and a half and my hospital keeps emailing us saying that as essential staff we have to come in and that we should keep contingency plans ready for our families in case we have to stay the night

[craniuum]

finally getting therapy and just started on an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication today. it’s been a long time coming but i’m proud of myself for finally realizing i needed help and taking the steps to heal myself. 

[craniuum]

[craniuum]

YOU GUYS I MATCHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GONNA BE A DOCTOR 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

[craniuum]

monthly post about how residency (and life) is draining but i love my girlfriend so very much

[craniuum]

my first shift of residency is tonight!!!!!!! i’m nervously excited and i put together a list of 30 goals i have for myself over the next 4 years..... i’m a mess of emotions rn and i have no idea what to expect but i know i’ve worked hard to get here!!! AHHHHH

1) be a steadfast advocate for not only my patients but also my team, my students, and myself

2) deliver my care in a patient-centered way with their dignity maintained  

3) always take social determinants of health into account when developing treatment plans

4) be a patient and kind teacher who demonstrates their love for this field to her students

5) always look out for my colleagues and always be willing to lend a helping hand

6) foster a safe and welcoming learning environment

7) be an active listener and treasure your patients’ stories - they are at their most vulnerable and they have come to you for help

8) always know my limitations and ask for help when I need it

9) say yes to the learning opportunities that come your way - and always ask questions

10) balance being thorough with being efficient

11) be kind and collegial with nurses - and always foster partnership between them and the rest of the care team

12) try to learn something new each day

13) keep your loved ones close - and embrace your new co-resident family too!

14) never lose sight of my “why” in medicine!! the days may be difficult but don’t forget your dreams and goals. and help others discover + maintain their “why” in medicine too!

15) stay as up-to-date (pun not intended) with the current literature as best as you can and incorporate it with your care

16) be what someone needs from you - a sounding board, a shoulder to cry on - and let others do that for yourself

17) maintain your hobbies and life outside of medicine - it’ll make your perspective more personable and valuable

18) always seek out feedback from your peers, superiors, and students - there is no improving without this

19) the system you’re working for is broken. don't let that break you

20) know the basics front-and-back and the zebras will fall into place more easily 

21) empower my colleagues and patients who come from less privilege than me

22) use your free time in a way that brings you joy

23) keep your complaining and venting separate from the rest of your routine and don’t let your frustrations make you jaded

24) it’s okay to make mistakes - you are in a learning stage of your career and it will inevitably happen. don't get caught up in it - learn from them and move on

25) look out for your medical students - send them home if there’s nothing to do. teach them something new every day. buy them snacks. validate their contributions to the team.

26) BE HONEST. if you forgot to ask a question, do a part of the physical exam, order a medication - own up to it and get the task done. lying endangers patient care.

27) validate and affirm your patients’ experiences - there is usually very little reason for them to be lying to you. and if they are lying - try to understand why, instead of shutting them down

28) try to make your colleagues’ lives easier - whether this is taking care of extra tasks on the night shift, or coming up with thorough contingency planning before hand off

29) always contribute snacks and banger workroom playlists

30) HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!! bring your jokes and make everyone feel welcome - you are pursuing your dream!!!!

UC 6-24-21

[craniuum]

this is so funny my brain is huge

[craniuum]

maybe one of my first residency wins!!! today in pediatrics clinic i had a 2 year old patient who behaved really well for me while i examined her, which apparently is very rare. mom asked me afterwards if i regularly work at that clinic (which i don’t, i only rotate here every 3-4 months just for this year) and she said that was unfortunate because she was hoping that i could be her daughter’s primary care provider because of the rapport i established 😭😭😭😭😭