contractionsband

[glutaminase]

This is so absurdly personal and corny i might delete it in the morning but

for some reason i keep thinking about the summer after my freshman year of college when i was back in my hometown and me and my high school best friend were hanging out and like actively in the Falling In Love process and we knew we were both going back to different colleges in the fall so if we wanted to give it a shot we’d have to commit to long distance . and i was so certain then that it would work out and be worth it like i worked HARD that summer to prove it lmfao & it did! for like 6 years! But then it stopped working and ultimately it was exactly what we talked about before we started dating, ie the circumstances of long distance (altho then it was bc of college and now it’s bc she didn’t want to move with me for residency 💔lol) . but weirdly enough I think if i knew back then that we’d only have 6.5 years together i would still make the same decision like i do still think it was worth it. This is not a sad post im genuinely fine jsut high and musing about the human experience

[tiaragqueen]

can i request a shy and gentle yandere jimin that manipulates the reader into staying with him? he would never hurt her or others but threatens to hurt himself is she wants to leave. thank u and i love ur writing 🤩

Yaksok

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Park Jimin x Reader

✂ Word Count: 2,9k

✂ Trigger Warning: Self-harm, mentions of depression, suicide attempt, manipulation, possessiveness

✂ This story is fictional and for amusement only. I don’t believe any of the members would do this in real life. As always, thank you for reading and I hope you have a good day!

Donot re-upload my writing to another website or use it without mypermission.

[Edited]

***

To be honest, I didn’t expect this one-shot to get so dark. I had to prevent myself from imagining certain scenes too vividly in case I became too uncomfortable. They’re not too explicit. So, if anyone feels the same way as me, please don’t force yourself to read this. Feel free to click the back button. Thank you.

If you like mywriting, please support me on ko-fi!

“I don’t think I can do anything without you. I can’t live a day without you. I’m gonna try to handle you. I’m not dangerous. So, baby, don’t worry.” – Stuck [Monsta X]

Jimin’sfavorite expression of yours was when you were simply glowing. No, not in a literal sense. It was when you skippedaround, with a huge smile gracing your darling face, and the sunlight hittingall the right spot of your visage. Heespecially loved it when he was thereason for your joy. It gratified himto know that he had succeeded in making you happy, however small it might be. Because your smile was worth it, and Jimin would do anythingto see that sight forever.

However,he couldn’t find it in himself to be as happyas you did today.

“Baby,you look beautiful. Where are you going?” Jimin asked, sitting on the marooncouch with his legs spread wide.

Hewas indirectly inviting you to sit on his lap; something that he always didwhen you both didn’t have anything to do that day. He simply loved wrapping hisarms around your stomach, or sometimes, you would be the one who hugs him frombehind. Jimin was initially wary with your offer, thinking that you might nolonger like sitting on his lap, while turned out you just wanted to repay his favor.

Thatwas what he loved from you; your sense of gratitudeand indebtedness. Sure, Jiminshowered you, unconditional love, freely and never demanded you to reciprocate, but it felt nice when you acknowledgedhis efforts.

“Oh,really? Thanks!” You grinned shyly, the apples of your cheeks reddened alittle. “I’m actually going to go out with my friends.”

“Who?”

Youlooked up, trying to remember the names of your friends who would join.“Bambam, Lisa, Jennie, Kai, and Xiumin.”

Thebeam on Jimin’s face slowly disappeared like a setting sun. “Xiumin…?”

“Yeah,Xiumin.” You nodded absent-mindedly as you put on your shoes. “You stillremember him, right?”

Oh,yes. Of course, Jimin still remembered that guy.How could he not? Xiumin was, afterall, your ex. The man who had datedyou before you met Jimin. The man whogot to be your first in everything;first kiss, first hug, first touch. Though, you’d claimed that you never hadsex with him. Jimin felt an incredible relief washed over the rock that weighedhis chest, because how could he go on knowing that that filthy guy had taken your virginity?

Yeah,sure. Jimin hadn’t touched yousexually, either. The furthest thing he’d ever done was a make-out. But evenso, he was careful not to step the boundaries that you’d set before you twostarted dating. It wasn’t as if you refused to be intimate with him. It wasjust you wished to prevent unplanned pregnancy, and he readily complied,however heavy it felt to him.

Jiminfrowned as he tried to word his question properly. He didn’t want to hurt your feelings, but he also didn’twant you to leave him. Especially to meet up with that… that guy. He knew that you’d parted ways with Xiumin peacefully, asyou felt that the relationship was going nowhere, but Jimin still couldn’tshake off the jealousy that bubbled on his chest. What kind of man doesn’t feelthat way when his girlfriend is about to walk with her ex?

“Doyou really have to leave, baby?”

“Yeah,we’ve been planning that since last week.”

Last week. You’d been secretlyplanning to go out with other people – with your ex – since last week. Well, technically it wasn’t so much of a secret since Jimin hadn’t asked about ityet. But at the very least, you could give a heads up right?

Thiswas too sudden. Too much for him tocomprehend at once.

“Chim?Jimin?” A hand snapped in front of his glazed eyes. “Earth to Jimin.”

“Don’tgo,” he whispered.

Youstrained your ears in order to hear him more clearly. “Huh? Did you saysomething, Chim?” you inquired.

Helooked up, gaze resolute yet pleading.Begging you to just say yes. “I said,don’t go.”

“Whatare you talking about, Jimin? Of course, I’ll go. It’s been a long time since Imet my friends. Surely you can allow me to have some fun once in a while,right?”

“AmI not important to you anymore,[Name]?”

Youstraightened up. Jimin preferred to call you with affectionate nicknames, sofor him to suddenly call you with your name suggested that he was being serious with you. Of course, it didn’tmean you would immediately obey his plea. You were his girlfriend, not his maid. There was no reason for you to kowtowjust because he refused to let you go out.

“Jimin,you know that you’ll always be important to me, right?” you said earnestly. Youhad seen first-hand how hysterical Jimin could be when cornered, and you’d liketo avoid it at all cost. Patience wasn’t something that both of you really hadbefore, but if you wanted to keep this relationship, then one of you needed tolearn how to be patient. Therefore, you’d decided to take on the challenge andbe the voice of reason in case Jimin got too agitated. It wasn’t easy, given how prone he was to anuncontrollable display of emotions, but it was worth it.

Atleast, that was what you thought.

Afew years ago, if someone were to tell you that you would date a man-child, youwould surely scowl and tell them to piss off. Because you didn’t need a guy wholiked to throw a tantrum nor restrict you in any way. However, fate just hadthe strangest way of setting you upwith your partner. And now that you already met one, you ought to maintain it.Besides, where else would you find such a devotedboyfriend like him? Someone thatdidn’t mind his pride as a man and loved to throw himself on to you at pretty much any given opportunity.Someone that didn’t pretend to be cold or aloof to make you chase him like oneof those foolish love-struck girls.

“Then,just tell them that you’re sick and stay at home with me.” he whined as though it was that easy to decline an invitationthat used to be a ‘small-talk’ amongst you. Your friends already had theirlives and lovers, thus making the reunion a difficult thing to do. And now thatyou were finally available, and onthe verge of going out, Jimin decided to act like a toddler?

“Ican’t, Jimin.” You took a deep breath to quell the bubbling anger in yourchest. Oh, how tempting it was tojust scream and curse at his selfishness. “This is the only day where all of my friends have a day off. Besides, it’s notlike I’d take long anyway. I’ll definitely be home around seven pm.”

Jiminbowed his head like a guilty child. For a moment, you’d thought that he finallysurrendered. But you were proven wrong when he stared at you dead in the eye. This time, there was nosign of pleading that you saw earlier.

“Ifyou leave,” he paused for dramatic effect, lips set into a thin line. “ThenI’ll hurt myself.”

Perhapsyou should’ve used those precious few seconds to prepare yourself for hearinghis next statement.

“Whatthe fuck, Jimin?!” you shouted, unable to conceal your shock anymore. “Are you crazy?! Did you even know what you were saying?”

Jiminsaid nothing. He didn’t even bat an eye at your exclamations. Usually, he wouldstart defending himself. But now, he just kept silent.

Andthat was scary because this was thefirst time he’d ever been trulyserious with you.

“Chim,I–” you sighed, massaging your throbbing temples. How did a simple question goto a heated fight like this? “I thinkyou should rest or something. Get your mind off of that ridiculous thought. If you’re jealous because Xiumin is there, thenI assure you I have no romanticfeelings for him anymore. I’m not some woman who would go behind my man’s back.You know me, Jimin. I’m loyal. Iwouldn’t date you if I still loved Xiumin.”

Thebell suddenly rang, shattering the growing tension between you. You ran a handthrough your hair and sighed.

“I’mout now. Don’t get close to knives or any sharp things. I’ll bring home somepizza later.” you mumbled before heading to the front door to greet yourguests.

Jiminlistened to the boisterous voices of your friends’ and your cheerful one. Younever spoke to him that way. Heck,you never even greeted him sojoyfully like that. Your tone was alwayscalm, resembling a mother that tried to pacify her wailing child. And your face… It never glowed when meeting him.

Wereyou happy with him? Were you just humoring him all along? Did you feel burdened being in a relationship withhim? He knew that it was wrong to attempt to manipulate you, but was it so wrongfor wanting to spend more time with you?

Youloved him, right?

Frowning,he went into the kitchen. You had told him to not touch any sharp things, but you had disobeyed his demand. So, why should he obey yours?

Jiminpulled a knife from the cutlery drawer and inspected the sharp edges. It wasnewly sharpened and had never been used before since you tended to use the sameones for eating. The blade reflected his forlorn face as he brought it to hisarm. Slowly, he pressed the tip against his skin and winced a little at theharsh sting. He dragged it along the once smooth surface and crisscrossed eachline. Blood began to trickle from the self-inflicted gashes, creating tinypools on the white floor.

Onlyone name floated in the iron smelledair when he finally gathered the courage to slit his wrist, signifying what might be the end of his life.

“[Name]…”

Yourstomach was churning.

Itwas odd since you hadn’t eaten anything,and yet you felt like wanting to puke. You stopped on your tracks, holding yourtummy with a pained frown. Maybe the meat you ate last night had reached itsexpiration? No, of course not. You clearlyremembered the expiry date when you went shopping two days ago, and it stated aweek from now.

Unlessthe factory purposefully put stale meat inside one of its products…?

“[Name],”a deep voice called your name. You glanced towards the speaker, finding Xiuminalready stood beside you. “Are you okay? You look constipated.”

Yousmiled wearily, paying no heed to the subtle tease. “Yeah, well. I don’t feelso good.”

Hecocked an eyebrow and tilted his head a little. “Why? We still haven’t eatenanything, though.”

“Right,but suddenly I just feel like vomiting.”

“Maybeit’s a sign of pregnancy?”

Lisasnapped her head towards you, eyes dilated and mouth slightly agape. It was themost scandalous expression you’d ever seen from her. “Eh, what’s this? [Name]’spregnant?”

“My,my. You’re growing old now, eh?”Beside her, Bambam wiggled his brows teasingly.

Youslapped Xiumin’s shoulder and shot a vicious glare to the snickering duo, heavyblush coated your cheeks. “Shut up, both of you! And Xiumin, how could you eventhink about that?”

Xiuminstifled a giggle at your flushing face. “Well, how else am I supposed to guessthen?” he questioned. “It was the only logicalexplanation.”

“Well,that wasn’t the only explanation,okay?” you retorted, crossing your arms at his quick - and honestly blasphemous- conclusion. “I might behaving a minor stomach-ache rightnow.”

“Areyou saying that you haven’t had sexwith Jimin yet?”

Bambam‘oh’-ed at the bold inquiry, while Lisa giggled against her palm.

“Xiumin!” you hissed, glowering in thescariest visage you could muster.

“Okay,okay, I’m just joking.” The said man wiped a tear that escaped from his eye andraised his hands in mock surrender. “But, seriously. Have you ever-?”

“No,”you immediately cut him off. “I don’t want to get a pre-marital pregnancy.”

“Oh,okay. That’s understandable.”

Youpeered at him. “Well, what about you?”

“Nah,we’re taking it slow.” Xiumin sighed and looked up at the darkening sky. “Don’twant to rush anything.”

“Butyou’re gonna propose her, right?”

“Later,when the time’s right.” He looked at you through his peripheral vision. “You?”

“Idon’t know,�� you shrugged. Marriage was something that crossed your mindoccasionally, yet never had the guts to bring it up to Jimin in fear ofrejection. You didn’t even know if he wanted to have a family since he seemed content with just the two of you. “Someday, I guess. I’m not so sure.”

Xiuminhummed. “Just don’t forget to give me the invitation.”

Yourolled your eyes and smiled. “Obviously.”

Whenyou broke up with him, you feared that you might break your friendship too.Xiumin had been your best friend since elementary school, and you couldn’t bearto see him turning his back on you after years of being together. But you’dunderestimated his maturity because the following day after your separation, hehad texted you first. It then occurred to you that while you no longer datedhim, it didn’t mean you couldn’t still befriend him. Sometimes, you wonderedwhat you did in your past life to deserve such a mature friend like him. Someone that was willing to move on from the pastand tie back any loose strings that you’d accidentally cut back then.

Theringtone of your phone blared amidst the light chatters. Jennie stoppedchatting with her boyfriend, Kai and glanced through her shoulder.

“Yourboyfriend’s calling you already,[Name]?” she asked.

“Oh,uh,” you quickly fished out your phone from the bag and frowned at the caller.“No, it’s not him. Wait a minute.Hello?”

“[Name]-noona, where areyou?”Jungkook’s breathy voice rang your ear.

“I’mout with my friends in the city. Why?”

“Oh, um, well. There’sa, uh… bad news.”

Thecolor instantly drained from your face as every sound became white noise.“What? What do you mean ‘bad news’?”

“You see, Noona.” Jungkook coughed acrossthe call, and you resisted the urge to snap at him. “I came to your apartment to play video games with Jimin-hyung, but hewasn’t in the living room. So I searched for the whole place and I found himlying on the kitchen floor.”

“And?”you inquired impatiently.

“He was bleeding, Noona.There’s a lot of gashes in his arms, and I also saw a knife beside him. Thepolice suspected that he was trying to kill himself from the laceration in hisleft wrist. Luckily, the paramedics saved him in time. He’s in the hospitalright now.”

Ifyou weren’t already shocked, then you were frozen.Hollow eyes gazed forward as you attempted to digest his explanation. Jimin…tried to kill himself? But, why? Whydid he do that? Did he secretly havea depression? No, that couldn’t be it. He always asked you to coddle himwhenever he was feeling down in the dumps. And besides, he was the type to wearhis emotions on the sleeves. So, why?

Therealization dawned on you as you rushed to the hospital, ignoring your friends’frantic calls. When Jimin said that he would hurt himself if you left him, youhadn’t expected him to truly carry itout. But, of course, you were stupid to think that he was being plain ridiculous. When did he ever lie to you, anyway? He always kept his promises, and that wasone of the many traits that you liked from him.

Andnow, when the situation had turned grave, you finally realized the terrifying depth of his love.

“Jimin!”

Youburst into the room, indifferent to the noise you’d caused. Jimin lied on thebed with gauze covering his arms. Tears stung your eyes as you slowlyapproached him, still couldn’t get over the fact that he really did attempt suicide an hour ago.

“J-Jimin…”

Thesaid man fluttered his eyes open and beamed at the sight of you. “Baby, you’re back!” he croaked.

Younodded vehemently. “I’m here. I’m herenow, Jim,” you whispered, trying to reassure yourself that you hadn’t lost yourboyfriend yet.

“I’mglad,” he smiled softly; a simple yet meaningful action that pierced yourheart. “I thought… you wouldn’t come.I miss you.”

Cradlinghis bandaged hand, you gently kissed his knuckle. “Of course, I came. You’re myboyfriend, after all.”

Jimin’ssmile widened a fraction, the hopeful gleam returned to his drowsy eyes. “Then,will you promise me that you won’tabandon me again from now on?”

“Iwasn’t abandoning you, Jim–”

“Will you?”

Youstared down at his imploring face. You knew what he was doing, and you knew whathe wanted you to do. Sure, you might not be the sharpest person in the world,but you were aware of the manipulation people often attempted to project on toyou.

Andyet, you willingly let yourself be manipulatedby him. All because you loved him too muchto see him die on his own hands.

Butwas it really love, when you only felt pityand guilt at his current condition?Was it really love, when you merely humoredhim like a lowly servant you came tobe?

Youdidn’t know, but you nodded anyway.

“I will.”

Wereyou the victim here? Or was it him?

Nevertheless,the joyous smile on his face was worththe emotional baggage that you’d carried these past few years.

“Thankyou, baby.”

Andat least, he appreciated yourefforts. However wrong his tacticwas.