#uGhhh I gotta draw humans more lmao

[super-un-stable]

Death notes but uhhh man I really need to get used to drawing them

[admirxation]

Crossover though that plays in my mind Leon kennedy in attack on titan. What are your thoughts? 🤩

ahhh an anon asking my thoughts?!?!? sorry I'm so used to having radio silence or weird stuff in my inbox so I'm so excited to have an anon in my inbox haha, especially with such an interesting thought. Thoughts below the cut off so I don't spoil people. 🩷🩷🩷

Leon Kennedy and aot, my two favourite things, honestly if I could draw I would love to see him in a scout uniform and some odm gear (the black one in season 4 would fr make him look like a snack) like I would fr scream (any artists if you wanna make that a reality I beg you tag me so I can see that beautiful creation).

If Leon was in the aot world, I could imagine him being innocent in the cadets but not incompetent or overtly happy (I don't imagine him overtly kind like Historia, and don't imagine him like a Marco character, more a neutral stance of knowing the world is shit but not fully understanding how the world is shit with lack of experience). I mean innocent in the sense he knows the world is dark and how dangerous it is, but he only knows that from what other people have said and what has been taught to him. he hasn't come to the physical realisation of how dangerous it is. Similar to how you can tell someone, 'oh this *insert action* is awful' and they know it's awful but doesn't really come to the grips with the affects of it until they have been face to face with it. If that make's sense.

In Re2r he seems like a bit of an optimist but slowly grows with the realisation that he can't save everyone and only comes to grip with true darkness and corruption with seeing what is around him. I can imagine him wanting to join and being a solider to help people, but doesn't realise how hard it is to help others, especially with the panic everyone is in since he joined where the series takes place with wall maria being taken, and only understands this when he’s put out in the world.

Also just a funny thought, I could imagine him in the early days with Eren and his little "IM GONNA SLAUGHTER THEM ALL" moments and leon is just there sick of the shit just wanting to eat his bread lmao.

I also think as he grows accustomed with the danger, he grows a bit more serious and a bit more realistic in the terms of that world, realising there needs to be sacrifice for humanity. I could also see that bright eyed rookie/cadent slowly fade, a little bit like Eren. In the series you see characters like Connie and Sasha who keep up their characterisations of being comical in ways but can be serious, we see how the world changes them but not too much, whereas for Eren there is obviously a massive juxtaposition to when we first see him and to when we leave him. I feel like there would be some similarly with his character fading but I don’t think his kind nature would completely go; in re4r he’s serious but that kind nature doesn’t completely go, he doesn’t detach, he’s still cares. I can imagine him being serious and getting the job done but obviously having a soft side,and finding it difficult to detach from some things. I can’t imagine him going extremely cold.

Also I'm in such a Levi brainrot, like I have loved that man since 2016 and he was my first anime crush and I will never forget about him (I also found out a month after first watching that he shared the same VA as Leon in aot English dub, so i knew why I fancied the socks off the English dub voice). Omg imagine Levi and Leon speaking and being in a scene together and being a part of the Levi squad, I would FR squeal like a piggy.

I know this wasn’t really in depth, I would love to make a long character analysis (English lit student go brrrr) but obviously I have some exams I gotta do. If anyone is interested, when my exams are done, I would like to have in depth convos about crossover stuff or maybe some head cannon stuff and character analysis.

Bruh I now can’t stop thinking about Leon in a scout uniform ughhh F E R A L.

Thank you again anon for getting in my inbox, means a lot when people actually speak in it haha

Have a lovely day/night *mwah*.

[mimimariet]

hi, im depressed.

but i’m also happy.

that’s probably a weird combination to have, but it’s normal really. i’m sure everyone knows that. and im just really open about a LOT of things which i’m sure anyone else with a mental illness wouldn��t be this open where as they should be open with like. a professional. but i don’t care.  as everytime i vent and cry i gotta say my disclaimer of the usual: people have it worse, i am seeking help (on meds rn), not looking for sympathy or pity, not trying to normalize the negative parts. though anyone out there if theres a hard relate or looking for hope or just plain bored reading my content. hello. i’m depressed. but i’m also happy.

when i say that i mean my hearts pretty happy.

when i’m depressed i mean my situation living here. my coworker is a piece of shit who constantly antagonizes me. he’s been talked to but he dismisses everything ever said. he’s also a huge transphobe and racist. instead of being educated he rather argue and say “offensive humor is just humor, not everyone will like it.” that’s not a defense to have. he’s also a huge trump supporter so you already know he’s a lost cause. dunno why his mom bothered popping him out.

not to mention the already been before mentioned of my family degrading me. just florida in general is shitty and i’ve expressed it for a while now -- i hate living here. the people suck, my job sucks, the weather sucks. i dunno i’m not happy here and i haven’t been in a while. i dont think there was a point where i said I LOVE FLORIDA. shits expensive. i’m 24 years old. i can’t even afford to rent some place. and i’m still walking, i don’t have my license.

it’s just frustrating that for like a year now i’m finding myself crying every night. well. almost every night. do i deserve to be treated like dirt? i dunno. is this karma for being a shitty person? i’m honestly neutral with people. but i’m fed up. and i want to fight. if i fight though i’ll be the one in trouble.

coworker sprayed me in the face by accident with glass cleaner. which causes irritation in the eyes or skin. i reported it but he’s still harassing me. and he’s been threatening me. claims “i only mess with you cause you mess with me.” yeah it’s a reaction. theres consequence to action. you’re gonna get smacked. you’re gonna get a bruise from me. i’m tired of it.

other than that though.. i’ve had some pretty great support by my side. like. i dunno. my hearts happy. give credit where credit is due. i’m so grateful for isaac. i feel so so so loved and i love him so much.

and i’m terrified cause he’s visiting in 56 days. he’ll actually be here. bought the tickets in november. and i just hope it goes well. i really do.

lot of personal issues i have to work on but a lot of them are really vanity along with mental problems. shit i can’t really afford right off the bat. take years to fix this mess. why im so nervous.

just ready to be with someone whos got that unconditional love for me and i really hope he still likes me upon seeing me at the airport LMAO.. ughhh. i’m miserable i’m so so miserable.

i’m worn out. there was a week where i was unbelievably exhausted. i’m a workaholic. i’ll draw constantly. i’ll have manic moments where i’ll literally draw the whole day and miss meals. (i’m not healthy lol) but for 2 days i slept. for 12 hours each. and i hated myself. i quite literally took days off. and i hate doing that cause i’m left with guilt of UNPRODUCTIVITY. which is something i need to work on.. Giving myself breaks.

My body’s falling apart tbh. almost 2 weeks ago my knees started giving me issues. and i just laid in bed. worn out. and isaac told me i needed to like make this doctors appointment (which is in 12 hours) to see what i need to do to get healthier. (he isn’t the only one concerned but he’s definitely the one pushing me.) i dunno if anyone’s long time followed me but 2 years ago i was diagnosed pre-diabetic, weighed 196 pounds. went off my medicine in a dangerous fashion and dropped nearly 30 pounds. dunno my status though. never checked up on that. that’ll be today’s event. if not the next appointment. new patient shit y’know. being that low-key suicidal type of person i just didn’t care about myself and i’m really paying for it now by giving myself anxiety issues out the daily. wonderful. good job me. like. for one my teeth have been fucked since childhood. so that’s an expense on its own. but high blood pressure and i almost thought i was having a heart attack (got laughed at) and just figured it was panic/anxiety attack so whatever. i’m not doing so hot. that’s apparent. ah well. making the steps.

again i’m so grateful for this boy and there’s no way for me to truly express that enough. i’ll take the fucking bullet for him. he’s my ride or die.

often worry about being a cling on. i like the attention of one person at a time. i attach so hard to people and i’m paranoid i’m gonna push them away cause being clingy is “toxic”.

i dunno my preference isn’t to isolate myself. i like being a loner but i like being a one on one person. i like being alone but i dont like being lonely.

a workaholic with a liking of like 5 people max really.

and i’ve tried doing this reassurance thing where if i’m feeling like garbage for just existing my mind says “youre human, you’re kind, you dont deserve this shit you deserve respect you deserve love”

but i got so fucking annoyed with myself that i just stopped doing it. it’s ANNOYING AS FUCK. I HATE IT. I hate myself. but i’m all i got. i’m entertaining and loving as all hell. til i depersonalize which happens often enough to stress me out even more. oh well. this is my life. i gotta do better..

sigh.

tired.

still alive.