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#ugh i am having a day#i went to see my friend and meet her girlfriend for the first time#and they were lovely so that part was all good#it's just they are dog sitting this dog and it really really did not like me#it was super barky and growly at me#and bit me a few times when i came into the house#not enough to break the skin or anything but still a hard bite#context being that i'm not a huge fan of dogs generally#they set me on edge :/#i then had to spend a very flinchy dog walk with it just trying to keep both of them between me and the dog#and just hhhh i feel super wrung out#in need of a hug and some general physical safety feelings ya know#kind of wish i had someone irl i could talk to about this but it just kind of feels silly bc like why do i not like dogs?? idk? i have no#good reason not to so it just doesnt make sense and isn't something i feel like i can talk about#anyway hi and sorry if you read all of this :)#just needed to vent it a bit#morgan talks#tw dogs#<- just in case
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Word Find Tag
I was tagged by @ls-daydreams to find night, page, metal, blue and truth, and because I’m putting off doing anything productive (work, writing, exercise), I figured I’d have a look and see what pops up! ^_^ Fair warning: I’m probably gonna be taking from a variety of WIPs because that’s how I roll atm.
I’m gonna tag @winterandwords, @artdecosupernova-writing, @kaiusvnoir, @frostedlemonwriter, @words-after-midnight, @inkovert and @catchingbigfish (no pressure!) to find hand, yell, deal, wait and lose. Also gonna make this an OPEN TAG if you wanna search your WIP for those words and lemme know what you find! ^_^
Without further ado:
night (from AAH - Maddie POV)
Maddie woke to screaming alarms.
Nightmare scenario. Literally enough that it took her a few moments to realise that she wasn’t dreaming, that this was actually happening, that she was waking to red flashing lights and mechanical wailing filling her head.
The cryo chamber pulsed with the light, red, dark, red, dark. Even still locked inside Maddie could feel vibration under her feet. Her ship felt like it was being shaken apart. She blinked, trying to parse the heads-up display on the door to the chamber. Glowing words her brain wasn’t awake enough to understand. All-caps. Red like the light suffusing her chamber. Not a good sign.
Something pinched the side of her neck and a wash of cool flooded from the site. Emergency protocols. Drugs flushing her system to wake her up faster, to prepare her to deal with whatever was going on.
Her brain rebooted just in time for her to process the corridor in front of her sloughing away.
The shriek of the alarms redoubled. Maddie had a dizzying, terrifying moment of staring straight forward into the empty, star-spangled abyss before the bulkhead door snapped shut. Detritus torn free by the sudden depressurization dropped to the ground. The gravity drives were on.
page (___RISK IT)
My mind nattered at me as I did so. Why the fuck had Caden decided to run? In all of our dealings with him he’d never bothered. He’d dragged it out, yes, forced Ilya to the point of properly threatening actual bodily harm, but he’d always come through in the end. A combination of threats and bribery normally got us on the same page.
This case was really beginning to piss me off.
I rounded the corner of the building from the main street and nearly ran into Ilya. He looked at me, I looked at him, and he smacked a fist to his forehead.
“Not my fault,” I said quickly. “The fire escape was locked.”
“You are,” Ilya said, “The worst.”
metal (AAH - Haydyn POV)
Officer Flack took a step forward.
“You keep a civil tongue in that mouth or I’ll fucking remove it,” he said.
Verreynne spun back, and that sick smile was even more pronounced. “G’wan then. Give it yer best shot, Officer.”
Flack stepped forward again, then glanced down at Aaron and Haydyn. Something in the line of his jaw tightened. “Verreynne, I’m warning you—”
“Warn all you fucking like, you fucking crack, but why don’t you shut up about it til you grow the balls to actually fucking do it.”
Flack’s hand went to the bolter strapped to his leg. Haydyn clutched at Aaron’s arm with both hands. And Verreynne, back to running his hands over the consoles, murmured in a completely different voice, “Ah. There we go, gorgeous.”
A light switched on above the monitors that covered the front wall.
A moment later another flickered on to the left. Then the right, and again, and again, until a string of glowing green lights encircled the room, throwing colour onto the greys of metal and machinery.
blue (ATN) blame @inkovert for this im back on my bullshit ooops
Ronan's gaze snapped up to him, his blue eyes matching the iciness in Latrell's voice. "You say you were working late? On this... this Nox case?"
The derision and dismissiveness with which he spoke the name rankled Latrell -- another fact he would not examine at a later date -- and he bit back, "The one I'm not allowed to talk about? Yeah."
"Well, maybe we should start talking about it again," Ronan snapped.
"Given this is the way you always react, I--"
"The way I always react? This is not the way I always react, christ Brishan. I think I'm doing pretty well with my reaction."
Latrell opened his mouth to refute that obvious lie, but Ronan raised his voice, speaking across him.
"This is the criminal that's obsessed with you, right? The one who keeps calling you, who for all we know is staking out my fucking house to keep an eye on you?"
Latrell kept his mouth shut. The questions were rhetorical. It didn't matter that he now had a reason to offer regarding Nox's fixation. It didn't matter that he seriously doubted Nox was taking time away from his criminal enterprise to keep an eye on him. It was the first time in a long time Ronan had referred to the apartment as his and not ours.
He nodded, once, jerkily.
truth (ATN)
“I know the lead didn’t end up panning out,” he said, knowing he shouldn’t be speaking, that for him to speak first was out of character, but perhaps it could be forgiven in this circumstance and if he pretended to know nothing about what this meeting was really about that would benefit him, “But there was a good reason to believe—”
“We don’t give a fuck about whatever leads you were following.” Briggs’s voice cut across him effortlessly, measured and cold and abrupt. “We wanna know what you were doing last night.”
Latrell opened his mouth to say I was with my boyfriend, and closed it a heartbeat later.
Because he wasn’t.
Because Briggs was asking about an alibi.
And he didn���t fucking have one.
That was why they’d called in Albie first. They’d already predicted that he’d attempt to use her. And Albie, lord love and loathe her in equal amounts, would not have lied. If the thought had even crossed her mind, she would have pushed it aside, and she would have told the truth. Even if she thought Latrell’s ass was on the line. Compromising procedure was a step too far for her. One she would never take. Under any circumstances.
So at least he hadn’t shot himself in the foot by not bringing her into the loop. Even if he’d asked — even if the thought had occurred to him he’d need to — she wouldn’t have done it. Another cold comfort.
“Not much,” Latrell said, far too many beats too late. “My boyfriend was working late, so I just chilled at the apartment.”
“By yourself?”
Briggs’s implication was so obvious Latrell knew he couldn’t ignore it, no matter how much he wanted to.
#word find tag#WIP: AAH#WIP: Risk It#WIP: ATN#excerpt#had fun with this#now i should probably go and ACTUALLY WRITE SOMETHING#ugh i am having A Day#but what can you do?#also i notice these get progressively longer#but consider also: i don't care#sorry not sorry :D
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bait / hook / line / sinker
#the hunger games#finnick odair#thg#the hunger games fanart#this was a very very weird painting for me.#like i have painted decapitated heads and severed arms and shattered ribs and guts falling out and gallons of blood#and not once have i ever looked up from my work and been disgusted or disturbed by what i’ve painted#but the first day i was working on this one i looked at it and just felt so sick i had to get up and take a shower to get away from it#HE WAS 14 WTF WTF WTF WTF#that is a baby. that is a little kid. turned into a killer and paraded around like a novelty and used like a toy.#but on the whole i am very satisfied with this propaganda piece it's just as beautiful and unsettling as i wanted it to be#ugh my mind. nothing in the composition is overt but all the implications are there#not just the capitol's sexualization and brutalization of children but the fetishization of the districts' labor as well#as my good friend and mutual theworldiswhispering said.#'the hard labor you do is not safe from being romanticized by the people who benefit from it at your expense'#and i think about that every day#wherefore art thou#thg reread#why he so smooth.. just like a shark#[katniss voice] mfs took all my body hair cant have shit in the capitol#i just know tumblr's gonna crunch the quality of these images but i worked on a canvas 4 times larger than the usual size#so a lot of the detail gets lost when i post it. oh well. click for quality i guess#his expression changes when you're far away#far away he looks kind of vacant#close up he's smiling. like the photographer wanted a specific cocky emotion from him and it was there#but when you zoom out there's just a thousand yard stare#i did think about turning these into prints or actual posters but um. i don't think i should do that
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they have him pinned, but at least they're warm!
fanart for @tsunochizu 's backwards through the snow fic! im SO normal about this story (still emotionally recovering from chapter 15) i love this fic so much <3
they are the STINKIEST of family...
(for those who haven't read this fic, first of all, go read it now. but also pebbles is mostly ok. kinda. hes just dirty and stinky... amongst other things)
#rain world#rw backwards through the snow#am i allowed to use that tag i hope so#ouyhgdhggdh this fic.... THIS FIC.....#this fic is everytging i wanted for a rain world fix it fic#like this fic has destroyed me and fixed me again ugh its so good#i could gush about this all day but unfortunately i am bills to pay children to feed . so have this fanart#everybody say thank you tsunochizu for writing such an amazing story full of super interesting headcanons and hurt/comfort#five pebbles#artificer#my art#now that i look back on the size ref i think i messed up the proportions a lot errmmmm oops#confession. i may have ressutected my dead art account JUST to post this fanart c:#pibblescribble
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#ojitos chiquititos chinitos de tanto fumar#art#fanart#my art#original art#splatoon#splatoon fanart#Splatoon fan art#Splatoon art#Splatoon dj Octavio#dj Octavio Splatoon#dj Octavio#Octavio#Splatoon Octavio#Octavio splatoon#so little tags ugh I gotta say something#so okay im kind of panicked because it’s my final project and guess what. yeah! haven’t done shit. aside from the important stuff but I mean#investigate and practice my speech. I’m quite confident on this because it’s a topic I know and love but it’s still scary#wish me luck I gotta explain to a bunch of 40 year olds how snakes move and hunt with a live snake which I am so afraid of#not afraid of the snake I mean. afraid it won’t last till that day and just die on me#probably won’t happen but I have anxiety
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last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.
#she said it like a law. its just momentum.#also she told me to get a therapist and start archery ASAP bc i need to get it together#and also she said even granting that this person u were in love w was So Special . as in hot motorcycle-riding iranian masc lesbian in ldn#they arent the only one on earth and that once i start my proper adult life outside of studies etc etc i will probably no longer live in th#UK. she said most non straight iranians u would like have left the country anyway . where do you think they went? theyre out there#and also she asked me to imagine how many hot gay iranians there may be in italy or amsterdam or smth and i was like ok points 😭 maybe#ur right. anyway i was having a feeling of dread bc crying into the arms of ur strict asian mother while buzzed usually results in#death chaos destruction etc in the next few days but actually i think maybe she has genuinely changed as a person and the fear is#unwarranted#anyway i need to eat breakfast and study w the date person i met yesterday#they are so nice ??? genuinely so so sweet i dont feel attracted to them at all omg i genuinely think i have a thing for hot evil ppl 😭#but we could b besties . theyre a lot more romantic than the ex situationship person too like generally . ugh they should be perfect but#alas it appears i am shallow as fuck or potentially a lesbian actually#OH THEY MIGHT ALSO BE POTENTIALLY A LESBIAN BTW#i think i just tend to not date cis ppl entirely by accident#....feel free to rb if u want btw sorry for the rant
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neighborhood watch
#boyd cooper#psychonauts#nightmaretheater#OUH my god. i am so impredsrd by myself today.#little known fact hes. Okay hes. i have alot of fsvourite charscters… hes up there. Okay?#(i like crispin more but. hes intruiging to me)#but lik. Ugh. i still feel like i cant draw him becauee of the meme incident… sad…..#🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹hes so silly tho#his vibe is like a bitcrushrd video of a cat jumping at the sight of a cucumber#okay . The delirium is winning a little. i cannot type tigjt rn. HHmmgmgmgmgmgmm#time taken was like.. 8 hours?#sighs. One day i will have created atleast one detailed rendering of every character. then the mission will be complete /nsrs#i was going for a more movie poster aesthetic but then i just kinda went… nah….#no music to post becasue its painfully obvious#me 🤝 this specific color palette#okay i need to get dressed… hold on#I HATE LETTERING I HATE LETTERING I HATE LETTERING I HA#i meant to post this like an hour ago but then the king crimson music absorbed me sorru
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Vi and Caitlyn's Recall Animations in their Valentine's Day Heartthrob skins
Bonus: Official Splash Art
#caitvi#piltover's finest#violyn#vi league of legends#vi#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn#league of legends#lol#loledit#gamingedit#video game edit#videogameedit#type: gif#media: league of legends#im so busy these days but i couldnt NOT gif it lol they were too cute#also the quality is ehhhhh i am sorry#cute that they finally have another matching skinline#its tiny bc the vid's tiny ugh#and the animation is super long lol#YALL IF U SEE AMUMU's THO..... IT MAKES ME SAD
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I'm on a work trip--it's a class of people in my field picked from all over the country, so I don't know anyone else here--and the info packet I got basically said "people have told us they wish they'd been given a chance to meet everyone else before the class starts, so if you want to do that, show up to the hotel bar at this time and look for people who look like lawyers."
and I know. that I should go do this, because networking good. but also. this is weirdly stressful. how do I make sure that a group of random lawyers knows I am also a lawyer while still being casual and chill but not dressed formally at all
am i going to have to take off my combat boots for this
#and put on regular heeled boots instead which is fiiiiine but ugh#i have zero anxiety on a normal basis so when i do have some level of anxiety i am tormented by it#and also ive been flying about all day and im kinda tired#but networking damnit#I am almost always wearing a tiny scales of justice#which were handed down from my mother#so that's probably a good indicator but you have to get pretty close. the urge to just pin my Bar card to my shirt....#like. this is fine. but meeting new people always takes Effort#especially with lawyers who tend to be a bit more conventional and also frequently older than me
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THEY could give me the surgurey i need (inspired alot by evojellys designs for em. GREAT STUFF)
#THE SUCKENING IS S O COOOOL GUYS VIV N VEX ARE SO FUCKING COOL AND FUNNY... CHARLIES FLAVOR OF DERANGED IS JUST#SO PERFECT FOR THIS CAMPAIGN.. I LOVE HOW HE DOES HORROR AND EVIL AND SCARY AND AAUAUUUGHGHGUUHGHG#their teeht arnt spiked like normal vampires but theyre sharp n smooth like a Beak. in my beautiful heart#ALSO UGHGHGH BIG SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 7 BUT#THAT THING WITH THE MAP. WITH THE DEMONS N VAMPS. THEYRE KEEPING TRACK OF THEM.#'so viv. was that one of mine or one of yours?' IS THIS A PET PROJECT OF THEIRS OR SOMETHING. ARE THEY PULLING MORE STRINGS THAN WE THINK#IS ONE TUGGING AT THE DEMONS AND THE OTHER TUGGING AT THE FANGS? PITTING THEM AGAINST EACHOTHER SO THEY KILL EACHOTHER?#AND THEN ITS EASIER TO TAKE THE BODIES FOR THEIR FUNNY CREATIONS?? IT PROLLY WASNT EASY TO GET SUPPLIES B4 EDWARD CAME INTO POWER#BUT OH MY GOD.. POOR EMIZEL.. THE MEMORY OF HIS CREW WAS TAKEN AND THEN HE WATCHES A BUNCHA THEM GET HORRIBLY DISMATNLED N DISTORTED#HE KNOWS HE CARED FOR THEM AT SOMEPOINT N HE KNOWS THE MEMORIES WERE TAKEN BUT HE JUST. CANT. AUAUUGGUAHGUAHGUAHGUHG#THAT SUCKS SO BAD FOR HIMMM EMIZEEEELL EMIZEL CMERE BABY BOY ILL SMOKE U OUT BOY. GET AWAY FROM THOSE EVIL GUYS I AM BETTER N CAN BE TRUSTE#viv n vex are so cool...theyre fuckin CRAAZYY N SCARYYY BUT ALSO. SO FUNNY... I LOVE A PUNNY JACKASS... 'LOOKS LIKE YOUVE BEEN: DISARMED!'#'IVE MADE THAT JOKE 6 TIMES AND ITS STILL FUNNY EVERYTIME' i gotta draw more of their bullshit...#im already doodling up the 'YOU CAN CALL ME MOMMY!!' bit. i gotta draw more o the monstors n the horrors too... especially emizels sire UGH#I LOVE VILLIAINS THAT ARE SO GENUINELY SCARY BUT SO FUNNY... charlie just does evil ppl like no one else idk what it ISSSS#okayokayoka y im normal im. relistening to the ep n im at the edward part. oh my god. i actually love him. he actually makes my skin crawl#IM DONEthats my rambles for tha day. back into my hole i go. also i have comms open. cmere pspspss i need moneyyy heyyyy cmereeeee#check out my main artblog. GO!!!
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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hm. them. also ding ding
#spider man: across the spider verse#spider punk#spider noir#hobie brown#noirpunk#spiderdykes#new tag for the lesbians!!!#ough writing is so hard. but it is happening kind of#drawing kisses are so hard but i am going to get better FoR THEM#in this house we love and appreciate fat bodies and soft parts!!!!!!!#theyre ace4ace and t4t in every timeline of mine. by the way. if you didnt know#yes including the PURPLE drawing#im lowkey addicted to drawing butch peter but i also have almost no drawings /of/ her bc they have to be pERFECT#trying to get out more sketches than failing to complete less larger ones#like the olden days…#ding ding is an INSANE cat. meows like a chainsmoker in heat. tries to eat everything. does not know her left from right#ugh im just so love them much. ughgghhh
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Do you think daddykuna is the type who would spank you in public bc he likes humiliating you? Or would he think your cute ass is for his eyes only so he only does so behind closed doors?
oh my gosh a delicious question!!!
character: sukuna x fem!reader warnings: 18+ minors do not interact, public spanking, humiliation, dacryphilia, daddy kink, general toxicity words: 809
okay so i think sukuna is like, heavily into humiliating you, so i 100% think he’d spank you right then and there, in stark fucking daylight, no matter where you are. little girls who act like brats must be treated like brats, must be punished like brats, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. and that’s what he tells you, in that infuriatingly blasé lilt, the beginnings of a smirk toying with the left corner of his mouth.
but daddy! you’re whining, a thick shield of tears already glazing your eyes, rolled into drops by your rapid blinking and catching in your lashes, glittering so delicately as they anxiously flutter. not here! not now!
yes, here. yes, now.
you can hear the amusement and pride staining his voice; just faint notes of it infused in his words, but evident nonetheless as he takes you over his knee in the middle of a busy park on a sunday afternoon, your thrashing and wriggling not hindering him in the slightest.
he’s irritatingly unperturbed as he flips your dress up and yanks your panties halfway down your thighs, the motion simultaneously smooth and sharp, entirely unaffected by your pathetic little whimpers and choked out apologies, nails piercing his skin as your fingers curl and tangle and tug at his shirt.
it’s your own fault; you know it is, he’s saying as one large hand kneads one of your asscheeks, priming the area, collecting curious glances. you shouldn’t have misbehaved, prancing around in a manner that ensured the skirt of your dress fanned out wide and rippled, just enough to gift him with teasing glimpses of the dainty lace molded to your skin.
you shouldn’t have acted like such a stubborn fucking brat when he had warned you, calm and cautious, not to play with daddy, if you hadn’t wanted everyone to see your sweet little ass, he’s telling you over your half-stifled sobs of humiliation, chest stuttering against his strong thighs, muscles flexing beneath you as he plants his feet, readjusts his hips, places a heavy hand on the small of your back and presses down hard, pinning you in place. that must’ve been what you were aiming for, right? you wouldn’t have behaved in such a way if it weren’t, right?
you should’ve known better than to mess around with daddy, especially in public. you should’ve known that he’d take it seriously, instantly—no matter where you are, no matter who can see, no matter what may follow.
each slap is harder than the last, harsher than the last, echoing louder and louder with every collision of his palm against your skin. every impact shoves another pitiful little sound from your chest, lodging in your throat, clawing at the back of your teeth, and aw, don’t smother them, baby; we want to hear you.
it’s excruciatingly embarrassing, the eyes of bystanders and onlookers slicing into your bare, exposed skin, gazes and glares and gaping depositing trails of scorching pins they glide over your body, slow and scrutinizing.
it’s inescapable, the absolute agony their attention bestows upon you, your puffy, salt-stricken face nuzzling awkwardly into your daddy’s ribs, desperate for some semblance of protection.
please, daddy, please, daddy, please, daddy, you’re weeping out, pleads strung together in a steady stream of drool. stop, daddy, stop, daddy, stop, daddy!
you know he won’t, you know he’d never, not one to go back on his word once he’s solidified it, but you just can’t help it, entreaties pouring from your lips instinctively, uncontrollably, as natural as the snot oozing from your nose and tears blurring your vision.
you can feel his cock, hot and hard and throbbing against your tummy, but you know your sobs and whines and yelps are only half the exhilaration.
because sukuna loves showing off, sukuna gets a serious kick out of displaying what’s his; what he owns, what others can’t have, can’t touch. those looks of disgust and disbelief, of envy and enrapture, send a sick thrill surging through his veins, because there’s one thing they all have in common.
awe.
it’s the most divine feeling, makes his flesh tingle in the most delightful way as everyone admires him, admires his strength, admires his terror, admires his things—how powerful he is as every smack! rings out among the space, how pretty you are as your cries chase after the resounding sting.
it’s grotesque. it’s gorgeous. they can’t tear their gazes away from it.
possessiveness emanates off his body in dense waves, their domineering presence polluting the atmosphere and leaving it stifling—you can look, but don’t even think about touching.
their murmurs only amplify their stares, the gasps and whispers and grumbles, saturated in incredulity and audacity, in outrange and offence, only feeding his insatiable ego, bloating it with an intoxicating arrogance, ever-growing hubris gorging on their attention.
#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna smut#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna smut#sukuna headcanons#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#ISNT HE JUST THE WORST I AM SO IN LOOOOVE WITH HIM#UGH#PLEASE#I WANNA CRY#anyway yes anon that's my answer hahahaha#i hope ur having a great day!!!#pls stay safe n enjoy ur weekend!!#inky.bb#clari gets mail#inky.sukuna
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Harry and his relationship with his own disability is so tragic to me. Because you have this man who is disabled in *so* many different ways, he's physically paralysed in his jaw, he's got severe nerve damage and internally his organs are going into shutdown due to the alcohol/drug use, but then on top of that you have the mental illness, the depression, the potential schizophrenia, the adhd/autism and you end up with this man who is in So Much Pain all the time from every imaginable angle. He's overstimulated every second of every day. Everything hurts him, including light and sounds. The world screams at him. He can't emote in a way that others relate to. Every inch of him physically hurts and he's one insult away from death. He can't get better- chronic illness is chronic illness, he's just going to be *like that* forever- so what is there left to do but get worse?
And then he's trapped in a system that values capital above human life. Capitalism treats disabled people like burdens but that won't stop them from wringing every last drop of life out of you. Empathy isn't profitable. The only percieved worth he has to the society around him is his productivity, his work for the RCM maintaining the status quo for capitalist interests, and its so entwined with *who he is* that it's impossible to separate him out from it. He is the Law. A force, not a human. He has to dehumanise himself to keep going. And really he does have to keep going, like a shark dying if they stop moving; there is no other option for him. What chance is there for him if he stops working? He's institutionalised- the RCM quite literally lives in his brain as esprit de corps. He can't escape them. He is the infernal engine. He will never stop. But his body, his health, are collateral damage. And to Harry, all that is inconsequential as long as he's doing his job.
#ugh i don't know if this makes sense but my excuse is that i also am having a Very Bad No Good chronic pain day#and my brain is scrambled egg#something something the way capitalism treats disabled people is very literally evil and the game shows that very well#disco elysium#harry du bois#harrier du bois#DE rambling
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WIFI IS MINE ONCE AGAIN as i sit on a mattress on the floor
#it feels like ive been without it for so long...#it has been... three and a half days... i am Weak....#nah jk i wouldve been find without it for much longer#but boy howdy am i Glad to be able to use my dear beloved laptop again#i am In The New Place i am Beginning To Settle#tomorrow i begin unpacking my own stuff!!! exciting!!!#i cant wait to admire all of my Things!#ohhhh and i finally have a spot on the wall for my combo whiteboard/corkboard....#im still very stressed and i want to lay in a hole but!!#i am doing slightly better than a few days ago!#the weather has been nice... cool and rainy... i am not used to cool and rainy#its also cold and i am - unfortunately - a desert creature#suffice to say i am wearing hand warmers a hoodie and a blanket#absolutely unprompted#the place's last owner Didnt Fucking Clean though#so there have been many spiders. and cobwebs. and general Grime we will have to scrub#like seriously today i was dusting the ceiling. THE CEILING.#had to dust & vacuum the windowsills... gonna scrub my bathroom tomorrow...#theres a large tear in my bedroom carpet too...#ugh and the cabinets are Small so organizing all the spices and shit has been Rancid#stuff has to go out of place and you cant see it all and MY ORGANIZATIONAL SYSTEMS ARE CRUMBLING#sometimes it feels like my adhd and autism are fistfighting but during a move?#lockstep babeyyyy. they are Streamlined. lots of things and lots of sorting & placing and eeheehee#i have also killed most of the freakishly huge mosquitos in the house so! things are better!#that first night was Rough! its better now! this shell is becoming a House!
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« We can change the World! »
#delislittledrawings#ensemble stars#enstars#tsumugi aoba#natsume sakasaki#sora harukawa#switch enstars#hi. i’m half dead. ugh my eyes.#been working on it for HOURS. and also for days. huh.#anyways !! last elaborate drawing from me (except if i pull an all-nighter one of these days) because school ! is soon !#but i needed to finish this i have many thoughts about easter carnival#and wanted to draw this scene of the mv since it came out#never forget that i am a switchP first and a person second.
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