#ugh sorry i know my job is pretty cushy all things considered

[magpie-to-the-morning]

The Covid lockdown proved that nearly all office work can be done remotely, so now being made to be physically present is like “… really? We’re back to pretending this is necessary?” And it’s a lot harder to stomach.

[physicistdyke]

Voxman Teacher AU Ch 1

Notes: This is an AU where both Lord Boxman and Professor Venomus are teachers at a highschool. It’s meant to be a lot more realistic and slice of life then the show so some things are different. Venomus is not the tall purple snake boy he is, but probably a tall jewish boy now. Boxman has a prosthetic arm and glass eye from a collage accident. And all the other fun sci fy fantasy cool stuff will be translated as such. Hope you all enjoy!

"Jesus, how does a kid think like this?" Boxman mumbled to himself as he sits alone in his room grading quizzes. "I gotta switch to quia or something." He stands up from his desk and stretches, this had been the third lunch this week he's spent in his classroom, doing work. It hasn't been easy, teaching high school physics/technology and trying to go back to night school himself. Most days would be filled with coffee, algebra, and confused teens, like this one. He looks back down to the paper on his desk and gives a sigh. "Have any of these kids even had geometry yet?" The physics papers were the worst, maybe a small break would ease his mind. Besides, he had a freshman class next hour, he needs this. He walked through the science hall and turned into a “secret” (janitorial) passage to enter into the back of the teacher’s lounge without having to interact with anyone. Nice, Boxy. He gave a sigh of relief as he was in the cushy safe haven of soft drinks and occasional pastries. He made himself a coffee, and sat down on the 50 year old couch that had been purchased before even he had started working here. He gave a deep breath over his coffee, sometimes just a change of scenery was nice. "That stuff’s gonna kill you, Boxman." Boxman jumped a bit as he looked up to see the gym teacher, Ms. Carol, winking at him as she grabbed an electrolite-filled beverage. "Ugh, come on Carol, I'm just trying to relax" "And you think you're gonna relax with that? It's caffeine Boxy, that's not gonna do you no good!" She takes the towel from her shoulder and places it on the counter. "You know, I always offer an after school workout program for the faculty and it's quite popular!" Boxman gave a shudder at the thought of having to take PE again, gym clothes, gym locker rooms. Boxman rushed to think of an excuse. "Oh no, I'm sorry Carol, I have the classes I'm taking down at the university. I've been stumped with work." Nice, Boxy. Carol gave a laugh. "Alright Boxy, but one day you're gonna run outta excuses and then-” she went into a power stance, "-Push Up time!" Boxman was terrified and Carol could tell. She laughed and said "I'm just messing with you, you'd only do what you'd want to." "Alright, but social pressures would tell me that I'd have to do it, so..." Carol chuckled. "Touché, Boxman." She put the towel back over her shoulder and started to head out "See you soon!" "See you, Carol." he said as she walked out. He gave a relieved sigh, talking with Carol was, a workout in itself. He snuggled his way back into that perfect groove in the couch and started to enjoy his coffee. The period wouldn't be over for another, 30 minutes? And most teachers didn't have a prep this hour so he could enjoy his alone ti... the door opened again. Boxman gave an internal sigh. He looked up to see who was there and was thrown off when he saw before him new Biology teacher, Dr. Venomous. He had only ever seen him in a few meetings but had never been personally introduced. Venomous was, impressive to say the least. He was younger than himself, and had been able to get a doctorate. Not to mention he was,, aesthetically admirable. Boxman shuffled in his seat and straightened his back a bit. "Hello there, Venomous, was it?" He managed to get out. Venomous turned his head to him "Yes, hello, Mr. Boxman," Damn, he nearly forgot about his voice too. The man could melt Gallium with a voice that warm. Venomous headed for the Mr Coffee and filled his thermos. "Is this seat taken?" He asked as he approached the couch and gestured to the opposing corner. "N-no, not at all!" Boxman said, surprised by the sudden interaction. "Well, you know, I'm still pretty new here and I'd thought I should get to know some other adults in this place." He gave a smirk. "I honestly think I'll pop a blood vessel if I have one more conversation that includes anime, fidget spinners, or sarcasm." Boxman chuckled at the comment, oh had he been there. "I'm so sorry, usually the first few years here you get a lot of freshman classes. I think it's the collective way to see if a teacher can handle the education profession or not" Venomous smiled back. "Or nah, as they would say." They both gave a pained laugh at the bad and obscure meme humor of freshman. High schoolers in general. But particularly freshman who couldn't quite get the jokes right.

“Heh, well I'm glad you've finally found an adult to talk to.” Boxman said. It was strange, he usually didn't warm up to people this quick. “You teach, biology right? That's a fun subject”

Venomous settled into his cushion. “Yeah, but I wish I could could actually teach them the good stuff. Besides just telling them ‘the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell’, I mean come on. At least let me talk about ETP or something more than that.”

Boxman rolled his eyes, “I know right? I mean how do I get it across to them that vectors are going to be important if you want to learn about the really cool stuff. At least I have the AP class that's actually excited about physics and my tech shop classes.”

“You teach tech shop as well? What do you do in there?” Venomous asked, intrigued.

“Well, you know, it's a separate room, we share with the wood shop kids, but I teach more about circuity and metal working then the other mediums. It's only for upperclassman but all the kids who take it really tend to like it.” Boxman looked over from his coffee to see a beaming and curious biology teacher looking back at him.

“That sounds great! It's amazing they can have that at the high school level. I didn't even step into a lab with a good microscope until college.”

Boxman gave a soft laugh. “I'm glad you think that way.” He looked down at his watch. Still 20 minutes left to the hour,

“Would you like to see it?”

Venomous looked enthralled by the offer but returned to his calm demeanor. “That would be, very nice” he said blushing a bit, letting his nerdiness get the best of him.

They walked side by side down the open hall. Not a soul around except for them and the occasional kid going to the bathroom. Each class they walked past gave an insight onto a new subject and a new 30 set of kids bored to death by it. They reached the room at the end of the hall opposing the art room and Boxman took a key from his pocket. He unlocked the door, lead them both in, and then flicked a switch. Lights came on and a large ventilation fan started humming loudly.

“Sorry for the noise, it’s kinda set so that if you want the lights on and to work in here at all, you gotta have the fan on too.” Boxman said.

“It makes sense, safety you know.” Venomous commented as he looked down and smiled at the man.

Boxman gave a blush and looked to the floor “Hah! Yeah well I was actually the one who did the electric work for that and,, man you don’t know how many kids I get complaining.”

“I don’t think they’re old enough to see quality work when they see it.” Venomous gave a wink. Damn that man was smooth.

“Oh, oh yeah! Yesthankyou we can proceed with the tour!” He guided the taller man into the room further as he tried to hide the rouge he gained from that sick compliment he just received. He got more comfortable as he entered into his element. “Yep! We have everything here from mass blank blue prints to an industrial sized soldering iron! As long as the kid can show they can do something safely and have an idea, we let them go nuts!”

“Wow! That’s really cool how they can have an opportunity like that at such a young age!” He said as he admired the equipment around him. His eyes lit up with excitement, “IS THAT A 3D PRINTER?!?” He looked down to Boxman who was beaming at his own excitement. He gave a stifled cough and walked over. “Heh, why does it have the word ‘Jethro’ engraved onto it?”

“Oh, well after we got the printer, my AP design class decided we had to name it. You know how kids are with their creativity.”

Venom gave a snicker. “Hm, yep, it’s our job as the public school system to crush that.” he said jokingly to Boxman.

Boxman laughed “Hah! Yeah well this class found it particularly important and somehow decided on the name Jethro. So I real quick engraved it and he’s been Jethro ever since.”

“Charming.” Venomous said with a smile.

“Thank you!” Boxman said.

Venomous leaned back against a desk and looked at Boxman. Oh shit, is he checking me out? “I gotta ask, and if it’s not too rude,” Venomous made a motion pointing to his left arm and eye.

“OH! Yeah that,,” Boxman trailed off as he realized Mr. Hot Teacher was Not checking him out.

Venomous gave a panicked look “Oh I’m sorry if that was a sensitive topic! I was just cur-”

“No it’s ok! I’m willing to talk about it,” Boxman gave a laugh and leaned against a desk of his own. “You know I don’t even consider it most of the time unless I’m scaring freshman to follow lab safety procedures.” What the two men were referring to was the glass, mildly red tinted eye surrounded by burn scars, and a left hand made of a simple metal rig instead of flesh. “You see, it was my senior year of college, I was up late in the workshop finishing my final. While I was soldering I hadn’t realized some potassium had mixed in with my soder god knows how. And this particular invention was suppose to hold water, so when I filled it in to test and checked inside the cartridge to see what was making a sound… Well, the rest is chemistry.”

Venomous gave a shudder. “Jesus thats a lot, I’m so sorry, Mr. Boxman.”

Boxman looked up and gave a slight smile. “It’s really ok! It didn’t stop me from getting a degree in engineering or my teaching certificate! And please, call me Boxy.”

Venomous reddened a bit at the sweet genuineness of the man. Even though he was probably in his mid 40’s, and not the most conventionally attractive guy, he was still pretty damn cute. Venomous’ gay thoughts were cut off by an abrupt bell.

“Welp, heh, end of this period I guess. It’s been fantastic talking with you!” Boxman said as he started out the other door that lead to the science hall. Venomous followed to get to his own class.

“Yeah, it’s been great talking with, you.” Venomous trailed off as the two headed in separate directions. He had never felt so immediately felt comfortable with someone like that, and neither had Boxman. They both had the feeling though that this would lead to something great.