#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh I hope this is making sense

[bonebabbles]

I keep using the word "frustrating" but I feel like it doesn't capture the anger that's building in me at how it doesn't seem to remember its own goddamn books. Everything with Jagged Peak in particular is incredibly sloppy.

With Clear Sky I get the feeling that they HAVE to misremember previous books, else you encounter the simple truth that he is a fucking monster. If you don't use passive voice religiously as if you're writing a NYTimes article about a cop, you'd have to address that he wanted to kill children after he slaughtered their mother for her land, that he beat an innocent woman to death and blamed it on a fox, and that he's a compulsive liar with a fragile ego. And you can't do that and ALSO say "he was a good mislead boy all along."

So... it's malicious but it's "understandable" on some level. The character they wrote is completely incompatible with the ""redemption"" they're trying to write. So you have to ignore it.

But Jagged Peak...

So Thunder is watching Jag's kittens as they play in deep snow. Jag sees this, freaks out a little, and tells the kids to stop playing because they could get hurt. We get this confrontation;

Those who have been following will remember that it was partially JAGGED PEAK'S fault that Sparrow Fur got mauled by One Eye, by letting her run off into the woods alone because "she was very insistent" about finding her biodad, Tom the Wifebeater.

This teeny little scene feels like they're going to address how Jagged Peak's biggest flaw as a kid was his recklessness, and that his irresponsibility continued into his adulthood because he was coddled. That this, right here, is a sign of character growth... but, the rest of the series doesn't seem to actually think this.

Gray Wing gets scolded for being "unkind" to him as if he's the same as Clear Sky. Jagged Peak's physical ability, like fighting to defend his honor and leading a patrol to get herbs, are what the narrative is fixated on. It's the thing he did back in Blazing Star that made Clear Sky "realize he was wrong about him." It bothers me. Badly.

We are slowly watching Gray Wing die of asthma (except when he needs to do something "cool" like rescue Turtle Tail from Tom the Wifebeater) and every other disabled character dies horribly. But here's Jagged Peak, with a story about how he's "Barely Even Disabled At All" with a little love and encouragement :)

What was behind the choice to make so much of this disabled character focus on his physical ability? In this arc which has THREE "useless" cats exiled for their lack thereof (Jagged, Bumble, Frost)? They say Jagged Peak needed a wife (introduced and then pregnant in the same book) to become his life coach, and that allowed him to overcome his leg... but why?

Why do this, when they obviously COULD have focused on his character traits? This little fucking scene proves it. They COULD have done this instead.

It feels like they're 3 different stories they want to tell about Jagged Peak and none of them are coming together; but the main one they're trying to write is awful.

[journal-kyanite]

I wanna know why he drives so far to come hang out with me.

3/8 he came to watch the Batman with me

3/6 we watched uncharted in T

We hung out for so so long in that time. I do wonder if I touch him like he touches me that he would like me the same. But I think I don’t want to skip over the friendship era of our relationship. I think being good friends (like TJ mentioned) is my best bet rn, especially since getting to know himbs more would make me be more comfy (more than I already am? (Bc I’m so so comfy around him-like wow)) like dang.

Also, getting into a relationship with him could make us more lovey dovey and rn I don’t think that’s a good idea.

I do wanna bring up that he and I look like we are dating and see his reaction, and maybe over summer we shall see each other more since he won’t have classes. He’s also graduating in 2023 spring so we shall see what happens then. I wonder if he will stay in T or be in O in that time frame.

I have only a few of these days to figure out questions I have for him and see if I can borrow his switch for longer, but idk what he will say and I’m worried about that. I really love Zelda so I’m hoping he would say yes, otherwise I have no idea what imma do. I don’t want him to delete my profile off it bc I’ll be sad about it.

Anyway, I see him on Tuesday, where we will hopefully go see the Northman. I’m excited about that bc it’s a scary-ish ominous movie and we haven’t seen one of those together. (I was secretly hoping to go see it with himbs too since he’s ig now my movie buddy too.) (he’s my writing buddy, even though he has a whole twin)

Furthermore, I want to see him in other locales, so if he does want to date me in any sense of the matter I’d need to see him at church and in serving things. I do hope he settles at a church. I want him at NCT bc there I feel so at home and with my people (like I’m accepted and in my element-even with BCMers). I don’t feel like I have to try to fit in or do anything extra bc I already fit in and that’s amazing. I love that church sm.

I’m glad I spent this past weekend in T bc that was amazing. I hugged K like 10 times and I hugged several others. It was amazing.

I hope to be more lax around Lion so I can touch him in different ways as I feel comfortable bc I am comfortable around him. I do like him but I don’t wanna have a horrid crush on him bc I hate and dread unrequited love. It’s vastly unpleasant.

Also, I wish so badly for him to be at NCT when Nel is there. And the others who are soon to leave. He still goes to the other church and not the one I would go to too. Like, I’m confused. Ugh.

I’m left in a blade of confusion and mazement (being in a state like being in a labyrinth maze).

I want to touch him and leave my “scent” but I’m scared that that is inappropriate for the situation but Ik also we need boundaries for our hearts to not get hurt. I wanna be friends with him for a long time, Badger too.

I wish I lived closer. I also wish there wasn’t such an age gap. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh

🌸xoxo🌸

Kyanite

[askredrage]

Open up your EYE (Thoughts on MLP Movie)

Has the show gotten one of those characters that doesn't know what a sense of humor is and fights back with combat?  Or am I thinking of a lot of reformed characters from other media? Spoilers down below.  Haven't seen the movie?  Well the DVD/Blu-Ray aren't far behind.

Um...so that was the movie I had almost missed out on, huh?  Well it was.........something... Ok, so I'm afraid this "review" is going to be EXTREMELY difficult to judge because the night before I actually watched Disney/Pixar's Coco first (by the way, 10/10, would DVD/Blu-Ray again).  And sitting down to watch this movie second was probably a huge mistake as this movie left me with a rather sour taste in my mouth.  Perhaps if I waited to see Coco later, then I wouldn't feel this...negative.  I'm the kind of person that goes to the movies a ton so I'm pretty much judging this movie along with all the other movies I've gone to see in the past several years. So let's get an obvious good thing out of the way first; the movie's return to 2-D or 2.5-D animation.  Never in a long time since Princess and the Frog in 2009 have I been glad to see the return of hand-drawn styled animation.  It's actually quite interesting when you learn that the movie characters were actually made 3-D FIRST before becoming 2-D characters in a 3-D world.  Speaking of which, a major chunk of the pony characters don't feel like repeatedly used poses like in the TV show.  They've been given a similar design to the show but more expressive and created with greater, fluid movement in a few areas.  So of course Pinkie Pie would be the one to mostly get the spotlight in this area.  I think people were worried about the 3-D landscaping dampening the style, but I'll let it slide as they did create the landscapes beautifully.  Plus 3-D environments have worked for 2-D movies in the past.  Talk to a good chunk of Disney Renaissance movies like Beauty and the Beast's Ballroom. An interesting way to segue into this next part.  Whereas the Disney Movies were mostly the movie first and merchandise later, Hasbro's the company that will make a product first then get their animators to make an episode or movie around it.  Also I am aware that Hasbro has one hell of a leash on these animators.  They've probably had a ton of amazing ideas for a My Little Pony movie to appeal to all audiences instead of the targeted one.  But what I was given to view not fell into my low expectations...it went even LOWER!  Perhaps being exposed to Coco first had ruined my enjoyment for this as there was much needed room for improvement. See if I can sequence this a bit.  Let's start with the story.  Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship has created a massive party in an unusually-styled Canterlot that's looking a bit spacious than the busting city I'm usually seeing in the show.  Through some comedic introductions, a song and a series of show-related cameos we are given the things that the outside audience needs to know.  Things get shaken up when Tempest Shadow, an broken-horned unicorn visitor representing for the Storm King, arrives with an army to take over the entire kingdom in order to siphon the magic out of the four princesses.  Now it's up to Twilight and her five friends (not six, Starlight Glimmer got shoved out of the spotlight) to find aid outside Equestria and take back their home capital. Interestingly enough, the one hour and forty-four run time actually felt kind of long when normally I'm sitting for two to three hour-long movies...but then it quickly sped through the story in a poor pace to show off their new toys/playsets and have money left in their budgets.  I'm probably not the first to say this movie was poorly paced, am I?  From memory, I think the longest we've stuck with a setting outside Canterlot was probably the desert city of Klugetown.  You could probably argue that perhaps it was Hippogriffia/Seaquestria but events there kinda made me WANT to make it go faster.  Get to that part in a second. Songs?  As a 90's kid, you know that most of the songs are either set aside or forgotten (like the ones in this film) for the most important one:  The Villain Song.  And Tempest Shadow's Open Up Your Eyes (currently having its instrumental being spammed repeatedly during this typing) is indeed worthy of the title "Villain Song".  The setting, the lighting, the flashback made by a different team (according to the credits), I loved it all.  I'd say it reminds me of Unleash the Magic from Friendship Games but I rank this song much higher. Honorary note for Sia's Rainbow.  I'm being told by some reviews that the song felt a bit too somber for a finale but I don't know, this felt like a calm, perfect way to wrap up the movie with.  I haven't a clue what the problem with it was. Finally, how about the characters.  We've got your familiar TV show cast along with a ton of celebrity voices, including Sia as Songbird Serenade at the beginning and end of the movie who is literally modeled after one of her actual outfits.  I chuckled when I dug up her photo, I don't know how she manages to see through that hair.  Other noteworthy celebrities that got a good chunk of screen time were Kristin Chenoweth as Princess Skystar, Liev Schriber as the Storm King, Zoe Saldana as Captain Celaeno, Michael Peña as Grubber the Hedgehog and Taye Diggs as Capper the anthropomorphic cat.  Most have been given the appropriate amount of screen time while others (STORM KING, MAIN ANTAGONIST OF THE FREAKING MOVIE), were held off until the end.  Oh yeah, that one Parrot Pirate with the squawking and demolitions.  Loved that guy. Sadly, the weakest of the group was the Storm King himself and not just because he was saved for the climax.  Previous TV show antagonists have ranged from either self-motivated tyrants to strategic conquerors for their own kind.  This knucklehead is literally announced as "evil" from Grubber and there just wasn't much from him to label him as an awesome villain.  Even his own funny moments couldn't save him.  And this is coming from a guy who isn't very fond of Starlight Glimmer yet she's still WAY more interesting than this cloud yeti.  Oh well, maybe next time don't model your villain to be a lazy, wacky monkey. On the other side of the spectrum, however, is Emily Blunt as Tempest Shadow, the true antagonist of the movie, picking up all the work for the Storm King to restore her cracked horn.  Compared to "her boss" this character has her own goals and motivations, sort of like a bounty hunter or mercenary. Kudos there as those areas would reach up into the top three MLP:FIM villains on my list.  Sadly, as the movie is indeed called "Friendship is Magic", she's (OMG) reformed much like many of the other unicorns in this show (Anyone seeing a trend here?).  Regardless, when she was a villain, this was a skilled and probably self-trained fighter trying to regain her happiness through any means necessary, even serving a clown.  Even gave me a chuckle when she lost her cool in Canterlot in front of Grubber before realizing and calming down. The Mane Six and Spike are mixed in their performances and what they're given to do.  I'll have to rate them all from best to worst...you're not gonna love who's on the bottom. Pinkie Pie stuck out the most with previously mentioned animations and tons of interactions with the girls and the strangers they came across.  Side-note:  She is mean with a barge of cupcakes; had they been red-frosting, that fight scene might have been banned.  We even get a serious moment with her and Twilight where--getting ahead of myself.  Getting there soon, promise. Rainbow Dash, despite causing some extra trouble, gives the "awesome" the movie needs including getting the Parrot Pirates off their rears to face off against their former employers...that doesn't last long. Rarity's charm and generosity got Capper the cat to not only change Tempest's army's course but gather the other characters for a full on pledged climax fight. Fluttershy has hardly anything except the funniest moment in the entire film regarding opening up with a Storm King soldier.  Honestly want to know what became of those guys now. Spike, you trustworthy pal and weapon.  The TV show might have given you terrible episodes but who would have thought you'd become a necessary Pyro tool?  TF2 Workshop!  Make a mod!  NOW! Applejack...sold apple juice and roped a few people and rocks.  That's uh....that's about it. ....you all hate me now for this:  Twilight Sparkle ends up on the bottom heavily and deserves it all from actions, character writing and poor pace.  Our beloved Princess of Friendship is still the nerdy and orderly princess aimed at saving her home kingdom enough to act grumpy, annoyed and careless in her actions.  Said carelessness led to attempted robbery and created the biggest and most painful moment of the movie:  When Twilight angrily lashes out at Pinkie by saying she'd be better off without friends like them.  Not only was this stupidly painful, but it was the necessary tool for the whole "We're not friends anymore but then we get back together later" bit.  And said apology was being shoved in a climax to be ignored for comedic effect.  Now if perhaps both Twilight and Tempest were together during the end of the battle for apologies, that would not only be forgivable but an excellent moment for the movie.  But no...more like the Princess of Pace-dumping. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh....I know, I know, this is a movie targeted towards children, but so was Coco.  It would really help if some of that Disney magic could save the MLP Movie from its Hasbro chains.  I know if the team wasn't being held back, they could have gotten away with much, much more to save the film from me giving it a 4/10. Well, this is the West Coast Psycho, and in the words of Max G, "I hope ya hated it."

[thelavendrhaze]

what i’m writing challenge!

i was tagged by one of my favorite writers @aloequeerafic - thanks for the tag!!!! i love your work sfm!!!!! this challenge is about sharing what i’m currently working on and will work on in the future. thankfully my wip list is short but i’ve got some ideas for the future. read below! and to continue this chain, i’d like to tag @thedarkestlarrie (bc i love my b), @alienproof, @anylessreal, @fondleeds, and @mooodlighting (bc i love their work!)

1. the new romantics: this is my big bang fic!!! it is what i’ve been working on for the past 1 and half months v dilligently. it’s a john tucker must die au and i think it’s probably going to be a little less than 50k. i’m trying to make it funny??? not sure if it’s working but here’s hoping!!!! the angst isn’t all that bad tbh (compared to what i usually write) and i think it’s mostly bc i got the idea from a rom com and didn’t want it to be this serious, angsty thing. i’ve been having fun with it and i cannot wait to put it out!!! here is a little snippet from part 1

Just then, Liam appeared at the doorway, his eyes perking up when they landed on Louis.

“There you are,” he said. “We’ve been looking for you.”

“I’ve been here with Harry,” Louis told him. “He’s been making me drinks and listening to my troubles.”

Liam offered Harry a meek smile. “Sorry about him. He’s drunk. I hope he didn’t chat your ear off too much.”

“I’m not a child, Liam,” Louis glared. “It was a mutual conversation. I wasn’t being a pain. Right, Harry?”

Harry agreed. “Yeah, it’s cool.”

“I just meant that you can talk to any of us about how you’re feeling,” Liam explained to Louis. “Not strangers.”

“Harry’s not a stranger. We’re friends once removed.”

At that, Harry let out a loud laugh, prompting both Liam and Louis to turn to him. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “Was a bit funny.”

i hope that made sense and if it didn’t you’ll find it VERY SOON what this whole thing was about lmao

2. like pretty lights: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH my longest wip thats not even that long im just too lazy to write. god. honestly, you all can hate me for this bc i know i’ve been shit. this is my “mary’s song” au that i’ve had going for a good few years now. but i’m adamant on finishing this bc there’s only 1 and a half parts left. and i don’t even plan to make it THAT long. HOPEFULLY....JUST HOPEFULLY i can get it done as soon as i finish my big bang fic. i wrote like 2 pages for it tbh!!! lmao here is a small snippet of part 4. 

“We’re here,” Louis said, sighing a breath of relief as he pulled up in front of his house. Harry turned to look at his own, smiling at how it never changed. It was the same porch, those same rickety stairs, and the same Bluebell flowers out in the front yard garden. Except for the curtains in the living room. His mom wanted to update those into something more contemporary. But everything else -- everything else was the same.

3. talk is cheap: my gossip girl au requested by my readers who love me for my angst. i’m hoenstly SOOOO fucking excited for this. like ive got a big chunk of it planned. i just need to fix some details. i don’t have any snippets for this one since i haven’t started writing, but here is who is going to be who (tentative)

Louis - Blair Waldorf

Harry - Chuck Bass

Zayn - Serena Van Der Woodsen

Eleanor - Nate Archibald 

Liam - Dan

Niall - Georgina

Aiden Grimshaw - Vanessa

Lottie - Jenny (but still Louis’ younger sister, not Liam’s)

Gigi Hadid - Eleanor’s friend and Zayn’s gf

Sophia Smith - Aiden and Liam’s friend from Brooklyn

Nick Grimshaw - Carter Bazen  

4. best kind of bad something & go ahead rip my heart out, if that’s what love’s all about: i’ve been wanting to write this norcal au where louis’ the town troublemaker and everyone hates him except for harry SINCE the beginning of time!!! but somehow it just keeps getting pushed. maybe i can get on it sometime this summer. i do have a snippet for this one, though :))

Louis tapped on the glass once.

Harry looked startled, jumping slightly in his computer chair where he was staring at his computer screen, probably reading some article about college or something boring like that. He narrowed his eyes in on Louis, like he couldn’t quite tell who it was, but then recognition flooded his expression and he got up. Louis smiled happily as Harry unlocked his window and lifted it open for him to crawl through.

“Oomph,” Louis mumbled, landing on his bum on top of the bed. “I’m exhausted.”

“Where did you come from?” Harry asked, closing his window again. The air conditioner was on full blast, the room cool and comfortable, just like Harry. He was wearing thin sweatpants with nothing on top.

“Was hanging out with Niall and Zayn at my house. Then we popped by the Hastings house for a visit and now I’m here.” Louis rested his head on his clasped arms, staring up at the white ceiling. He felt the bed dip where Harry sat beside him.

“You popped by their house for a visit?” he asked, his tone suspicious.

Louis nodded. “Old Hastings needed to be taught a lesson.”

“Louis!” Harry sighed. “What did you do?”

“Exactly what I should have since the fucker fucked up my tires,” Louis muttered angrily.

“Louis, tell me what you did.”

“Relax, will you?” Louis said, looking at him as he sat up again and walked back over to the window where he could overlook the streets below. “It wasn’t half as bad as it could have been. I just poured red dye in his pool.”

those are my top plans, but here is a small list of what i’ll write in the future that haven’t properly been fleshed out yet!

kiss me beneath the milky twilight - ‘90s au

home.mp3 - high school/coming out/coming of age au

several small one shots as part of this secret collab project which i cannot reveal a damn thing about!!!!