#ugly scars? sure theyd be neater stitched. but also no
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idk sometimes there is a certain absolute horror to be had when you snap out of it for a brief moment to remember how abnormal it all is
#this is specifically about the experience of feeling clothing soaked with blood and realising you did that to yourself but also other things#like to the doc today i said something about 'that's normal' and he said 'it's very much not'#which. yeah i knew. i was trying to explain how it felt to me. but his point was valid#idk emotions are going weird today#personal#tw sh#and in case you're wondering no i have not harmed more than the once tonight im just. still thinking abt it#also see: the horror when you're watching for how much blood and it refuses to bleed for a time and just sits and gapes at you#yes i promise none of these have absolutely required stitches or i would get stitches. but they get by#ugly scars? sure theyd be neater stitched. but also no#imagine facing the doctor after that! 'yes sir i know i promised i wouldn't bring seirous harm to myself for these two weeks however'#puddleglum hours
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