#uh for the objects that are harder to tell what they are. steven is a strawberry smoothie_ greg's like... a chocolate milkshake idk. lars -

[wheucto]

yknow what screw it. here. have this like. art of if the human characters from su were objects goodbye

[dark9896]

Day 26 [Steven/ Dog/ Aligula]

Prompt: "Why are you here?"

Steven

Hours ticked by, time lost on the dark-haired man as keys clacked rhythmically. Endless lines of code for God knows how many times this month.

You stood in the doorway, seven on the dot, arms folded with a very clear scowl across your face. Steven had taken one too many days in a row staying at the office. While you did have Klaus's word, which was better than the gold standard, you still doubted that Steven was actually resting properly... despite being locked in one of the spare rooms at the office.

Clearing your throat as you approached the long table in the middle of the office, You set a lunch bag right next to the key board Steven was still working tirelessly at.

And yet none of that got his attention...

"Steven!"

He jumped in his chair, blinking up at you as you frowned.

"Huh? [Name]? Why are you here? Its.... its..."

"Yeah, it's seven in the morning. You look like you haven't eaten anything of substance in days. And you promised you'd behave while I was on mission."

Steven hung his head, "For what it's worth, Klaus has been locking me in one of the rooms upstairs every night. But the lock is on a timer so five a.m. I get back to work."

You blinked slowly at Steven, frown deepening. He realized all too late how badly he just tattled on himself and was a mess trying to back peddle what he said versus what he meant.

.

Dog

How did you let things get this late? Trying to surprise Dog on his birthday was going south in a hurry, especially as you had underestimated how long it would take to fill so many balloons by hand.

But he shouldn't be here for another hour yet so...

You checked the cake again. Finally cooked all the way through thankfully, and with enough time it could cool and be iced before...

"Wow! Something smells tasty!"

Too late...

"Dog!" You tried to steer him away from the kitchen, hoping he wouldn't look in the living room, "Why are you here? And so soon... I haven't had a chance to clean up."

"Huh?" He tilted his head, "What do you mean? Your place is always clean, Peach."

You didn't want to tell him what you were doing, "Most of the time, but I had friends over last night. I just need another hour..."

"I don't mind helping you clean, Berry!" Dog smiled, "It'll be done in half an hour if I do!"

Think... think... think...

"Uh, actually I needed to get a couple of things." You panicked, "Would you mind doing that? Pretty please?"

"Sure!"

The door closed and you felt like sliding down it. Instead, you pulled your phone out and called K.K. she'd be able to help.

.

Aligula

This plan would go perfectly smooth, if only these meanie jerk-faces of Libra would stop getting in Aligula's way, she'd be happy. They only made her life harder, yelling about civil casualties and order and whatever else they seemed to care so much about.

"Object of Interest in view. Error, Object of Interest in path. Error."

Aligula scratched her head. No, you shouldn't be out and about today. You said something about needing to pick up a couple things, but that should be on the other side of town. Right? Aligula was going after Deldro and Hummer after all, you shouldn't be anywhere nearby.

Unless those meanie jerk faces kidnapped you too!

But no. You're little bike was just in the middle of the road. You weren't anywhere near it. Or you were in the store. Something like that.

Aligula parked, as well as one could park a tank in the street. You were just stepping out of the store when Aligula landed a few feet to the side.

"Aligula?" You tilted your head at her, "Why are you here?"

"I should be asking you that!" She huffed, "I thought you weren't going to be over here!"

"Oh, that." You held up the bag in your hands, "Well Jenik's didn't have the right thing so I had to come over here for it. I sent you a text."

"Huh. Guess I never saw it."

"I should have known. You check your phone maybe once a day, if that."

"Hey!"

[universallywriting]

Prompt: Greg attempts to be a dad to Diamond!

I couldn’t tell if this was intended to be angst or fluff. I went angsty with it. Hope that’s alright! Bit on the long side, as a heads up.

Greg felt like he learned to cope with Steven’s splitting and fusing pretty well. After years of magical hijinks, he had learned to roll with almost anything. Steven was still Steven. Star was really just a more emotional Steven. Diamond was... well, he was still part of his son, even if he was a little harder to understand. Even if it was hard to see that some times.

Greg sat beside the pink boy on the cliff behind the car wash. He groaned, older knees creaking as he came to rest there, and asked, “How you doin’, kiddo?”

“Not well,” Diamond said with a shrug and gestured to himself. “I’m not whole. I can’t be doing well.”

He laughed a little, trying to dispel the flat, tense mood that always came with Diamond. “Well, if you ever want to talk, you know I’m here for you.” He waited for a response, but Diamond merely nodded. “We could talk about anything. Uh, love problems?”

A curt shake of his head. “Connie is wonderful. Things are working fine. Thank you.”

He ran his hands over his thighs a few times, shaking off the awkwardness.  “Alright. Uh, you getting into any hobbies?”

“A few,” Diamond said. His eyes met Greg’s for a moment, his lips parting to speak, and then his gaze dropped away, and his voice sounded flatter than before. “We could talk when I have something to show you.”

"Who doesn’t love a work in progress? You can show me.”

Another small shake of his head. “No. I want to wait until things are done. I’m uncomfortable when things are, um.” He paused, and his hands twisted in his lap. “Incomplete.”

Greg nodded himself, and tried once again to bridge the gap. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I just want to help you with whatever you’re going through.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Diamond whispered. “But thank you, Dad.”

It was always a little odd to hear Diamond call him dad in that flat, nearly emotionless voice. But there was a touch of pain in it, so Greg clapped his hand onto the boy’s shoulder and kept trying. “I know that I’m not always the best at gem stuff, but I want to be here for you, no matter what you might be going through. You can tell me anything.” He chuckled a little. “Even if you’re mad at your other half.”

“I...” His mouth worked, each passing second driving in his failure to find words. His hands twisted in his lap now, harder and faster than before.. “It’s not Star right now. I... he... S-sometimes it’s him, but sometimes it’s me.”

“What do you mean?” Greg leaned a little closer. “You mean you guys split because of something that’s part of you, right?”

He gulped, Adam’s apple bobbing, and nodded hard. “Sometimes we split because Steven is frustrated with the human parts of him. He’s mad about the big emotions. And some days I’m mad at him because of that.” 

Diamond’s eyes, pink and burning, met Greg’s with a heavy shame. “I really hate him sometimes.”

He moved his hand slowly across the boy’s broad back. He wasn’t sure how soothing that was for gems, but it seemed like the right thing to do. “That’s okay, schtu-ball. We all get mad sometimes. We can talk about that.”

“But that’s not the problem right now. We don’t just split because of what Star is. Sometimes, we split because of what I am.” His fingers curled into the dirt, and again he looked away. His eyes scrunched up tight, and his body seemed to hum with pent up energy. “Sometimes Steven thinks about everything his diamond can do, and he doesn’t want it. I’m not subjectively unpleasant like Star. I am objectively dangerous.”

“Hey,” Greg murmured, feeling his heart sink to his stomach. “No, bud, you’re not-”

Diamonds voice shook. The flatness faded, his muted emotions pushing through as they boiled up. He sounded like Steven then, as emotion made his voice creak and body curl up on itself. “We don’t know how to talk to you about it! It’s going to hurt, Dad! It’s going to hurt you, and we don’t want to!”

A sob escaped him as his fingers curled into his hair, a rough tug making him gasp. “But I don’t know how to talk about any of this without telling you that I hate myself! Not part of myself. I hate everything I am. When I wake up as Steven I just try not to think about who I am, because when I look inside I hate everything that’s in there. So how do I...?”

He pressed his hands to his eyes as another sob shook him, and Greg did his best to hold him, wrapping the boy up tight in a hug. He tried his best to gentle him, promising that it was okay as Diamond’s head fell against Greg’s chest.

Diamond cried, and Greg could hear him trying to pull the emotion back in as he spoke. “All you and Mom wanted was for me to be happy, and I can’t even do that right. I’m sorry, Dad. I’m trying.”

Greg held him close, and let him talk.

[nemexia-graveyard]

i am so, so sorry. this is probably the only time i'm ever gonna write something like this because gOd i was uncomfortable writing this haha. hope those of you who like spicy stevinel enjoy this, though 👌👌

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

    Spinel woke up and yawned, stretching her elastic arms out while looking down at Steven, who lay asleep beside her. She doesn’t normally sleep, but since Steven wasn’t in much of a good mood the previous day, she had decided to sleep instead of listening to his heartbeat as she normally did. She sighed, standing up and walking away from the bed, careful as to not wake up her sleeping boyfriend. She walked into the bathroom and closed the door, locking it behind her as she looked at herself in the mirror.

    She was wearing one of Steven’s old shirts from when he was younger, along with his pink varsity jacket. She clutched onto the jacket and smiled softly before looking around the room, her hair magenta hair having been left down in tangles. She sighed to herself, thinking about what she could do. Steven had been down lately, and she wanted to cheer him up. Plus, today was Christmas! It’d be their third Christmas together since they started dating, and she wanted him to know how much she cared. Maybe I have something stored in my gem that could help me cheer him up.

    Pulling objects out of her gem, she hoped to pull something out that could help. After a few items, she pulled out a sweater Steven had gotten her sometime. She didn’t know what it was when she first got it, as it was only a few months after arriving on Earth, but now she understood. It was an oversized sweater with no sleeves, and missing most of the back. Steven, you dirty-minded half-human, she thought, now realizing why he had gotten it for her. You were trying to get me to wear something revealing and slightly lewd.

    However, after a few moments, once she had put the other objects she pulled out back into her gem, she sighed, looking at the sweater with a soft look in her eyes. Well, he did get it for me. And I’m sure it’d please him if he saw me wearing this, considering that it’s made to be revealing and he gave it to me. That must mean he wants something… special from me. Having made her decision, she took her top off and slipped into the sweater, looking into the mirror. Oh, God, this really is revealing.

    Deciding it was fine, she walked out of the bathroom. All that mattered is that it’d make Steven happy. Walking back over to their bed, she bent down beside the bed, propping her face up with her hands. “Oh, Stevie~” she whispered sweetly, smiling at him softly. “I put on something special for you~”

    Steven heard, probably just faintly, as he sat up and rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Spinel,” he began; “you know I haven’t been in the mood for-”

    He stopped once he looked at Spinel, having frozen as his face slowly burned into a burning shade of red, radiating heat off his cheeks. He must’ve realized as he hastily covered his face with his hands before speaking. “S-Spinel, you didn’t h-have to do… Th-That...”

    Spinel smiled at him more, glad her idea was already working out. “Well, it is Christmas, silly!” She exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him multiple times as she squeezed him tightly, kissing his cheek gently before letting him go. “I figured you’d like a special gift from the one you love,” she continued, smiling sweetly, her cheeks beginning to burn up as well.

Steven lowered his hands hands from his face, although his face was still a dark shade of red. He looked back at Spinel, smiling at her, although he did seem a tad awkward. Spinel noticed and tilted he head at him, a staged innocent look in her eyes. “What’s the matter, dollface?” She asked. “Something wrong?”

His face burned up even more at this, causing him to look away with a flushed face. “I-I’m f-fine...” he muttered, although something was obviously on his mind. “Sorry, it’s j-just that… When I look at y-you in that, I, uh...” He was clearly embarrassed at admitting what he was saying, as the shade of red coating his face only got darker as he spoke. “I just really, really wanna… f-f… fu… fu- oh, forget it,” he sighed, looking down. “Today is not the day for… that...”

The pink gem wasn’t naive, and knew exactly what he was thinking, She smirked, having gotten an idea. Walking over to Steven, she sat on his lap, crossing her legs around his torso. “Today is an important day,” she whispered softly, looking at him with a look of lust in her eyes. “So, I’ve decided that you can do whatever you want with me today. Merry Christmas, Stevie~”

Once she had finished speaking, Steven shakily put his arms around Spinel, holding her closer, his face close to being as red as a rose at this point. “A-Are you sure?” He asked quietly, clearly hesitant and shocked. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable… Just tell me if you want to stop, a-and I will...”

Spinel heard and chuckled, smiling as she nodded. “Don’t worry, it’s fine,” she murmured, whispering into his ear seductively. “I want this, too.” In a swift movement, Spinel clutched onto Steven’s chin, lifting his head up as she kissed him lovingly, noticing very quickly that his lips tasted of vanilla frosting, possibly from the cake they had eaten together the previous night. Steven was shocked by Spinel’s sudden movements, having not expected this from Spinel. However, after a few moments, he grabbed onto her waist and pulled her closer, kissing her back with passion. Spinel smiled at this, their kiss lasting for a few moments that felt like an eternity before Steven opened his mouth for a bit, breathing softly while looking up at her, his face flushed.

Noticing an opportunity, Spinel went back to kissing her boyfriend, this time pushing him down onto the bed as she pinned him down. Spinel’s face was burning like fire at this point, but she paid it no attention. She knew this might be the last time this year their relationship would be rather physical, and she rather enjoyed it. Cusping the back of Steven’s head in her hand, she kept the kiss going as Steven’s warm hands were placed on Spinel’s cheeks. Once they had pulled away, the two were breathing heavily, both of their eyes yearning for lust.

When Steven pushed Spinel away slightly, she got nervous. Was this too fast for him? Was this… not what he wanted? However, once Spinel wasn’t as close to Steven, he pulled his shirt off, tossing it to the floor. With a face as red as cherries, she let him slip the sweater off her body before grabbing onto her bare back. He pulled her closer once more, kissing her with great passion, gasping for breath between kisses. Smirking at Steven seductively, Spinel kissed his cheek gently, trailing her kisses down the side of his face until she had reached Steven’s neck. Once her lips were by the side of Steven’s neck, she had begun suckling on his skin with her kisses, leaving behind marks before moving along to leave behind the next one, marking this moment. Marking that he belonged to Spinel and her only.

In the middle of one of these loving kisses, Steven shoved Spinel off, leaving her in shock as he crawled over, allowing him to be the one to pin her down this time. Chuckling softly, Steven began suckling on the skin of her neck, doing what she had done just moments before. She felt and started breathing heavily again, noticing Steven was doing the same after several heartbeats. His breath was hot and steamy against her bare skin, the two of them staring into each other’s eyes. It was at this moment that they realized they both had wanted this, resulting in Steven slipping his hands into Spinels soft ones, although slightly sweaty, as he kissed her gem softly. She gasped at this, biting down on her lip to prevent a moan from escaping her mouth. Her gem began to glow, and Steven must of noticed as he smiled in response. He looked up at her, his blushing face gaining a soft smirk. “Aw, you must really love me if your gem glows for me~”

    Spinel was blushing brightly, which caused Steven to smile even more before looking down at her pink heart-shaped gem. After thinking for a moment, he bent down, kissing the gem again but with more passion. Over time, kissing turned to tracing, as his tongue had began to trace the outline of her gem. The gem glowed brighter, resulting in Spinel biting down on her lip harder. At last Steven noticed Spinel biting down on her lip, and smiled more, his face a dark, burning red. “Is there anything you’d like to say, Spinny?” He asked with a soft voice, Spinel’s eyes widening as her bright face began turning dark. “N-No… I’m just- just surprised, I-I guess…”

You could tell by Steven’s newfound expression that he suspected Spinel of lying to him, and thought before looking down at the gem, silently wondering what he could do to make her say whatever was trying to come out. He must have gotten an idea, as after a few moments he leaned back down towards the gem. Oh no.

He gently bit the edge of her gem, his tongue grazing the area in the gap between his teeth as he continued nibbling her gem softly while gazing up at her while her gem was glowing brighter than ever before. Not being to hold it in anymore, Spinel moaned loudly, immediately letting go of Steven’s hands as she covered her mouth once she realized what had happened. Keeping one hand on her mouth, she let the other one go as she pushed Steven away, sitting up. She was clearly embarrassed and looked down at the bedsheets, her face burning the darkest shade of red Steven had ever seen. Steven didn’t seem to mind, however, as he leaned forward, staring at her with knowing eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that,” he said teasingly. “Would you mind saying that again, doll~?”

Spinel shook her head shakily, not quite wanting to admit what had just happened. However, this didn’t stop Steven, as he simply grabbed her hands, pulling them away from her face as he did the same thing as before, nibbling the gem ever so softly, the gemstone on Spinel’s chest still glowing as bright as before. Knowing Steven would only make her repeat it if she covered it up, she didn’t hold back, and moaned the same way as before but for longer, letting out gasps of moans as he continued. After some time, he pulled away, propping his face up with his hands and a smirk across his face. “Thanks for doing this,” he said softly, his smirk turning to a gentle smile. “I love you, Spins.”

“Aw, shucks,” she replied, grinning at him as she kissed his forehead gently. “I love you too, Stevie.” And like that, they continued, with Steven’s gem glowing now as well while they displayed their love for one another by turning words into physical affection, both of them wishing it was possible for this moment to never end.

[dangerously-self-indulgent]

Zombies and Ghosts

Pairing: No specific pairing. This is a more general work that features mostly Zion and Eugene, but no romance is specified. 

Summary: Over a talk at dinner, Zion mocks you for believing in ghosts. To teach him a lesson, you and Eugene form a plan together. Late at night, Zion walks down the second-floor hallway looking for you but finds something much worse. All according to plan. 

---------

“Are there any shows you miss?”

This seemed to be the topic of discussion over dinner in the classroom tonight. Lots of names were thrown out there, and it seemed to cast a lot of smiles around the room. Eventually, it got to be your turn, eyes on you as you made your list.

“I really miss the classics from my childhood, stuff like Steven Universe,” you think aloud, and you get a smile from Harry.

“That was a really cute show.”

“It was! But I really liked horror type stuff too, ironically enough,” you shrug and look outside the window. You used to love the idea of horrific things, zombies included, but now? Not so much. “I would watch a lot of paranormal shows. Buzzfeed Unsolved, stuff like that.” This earns you a look from Zion across the room.

“You believe in that stuff?” He asks, a mocking smile on his face.

You roll your eyes at him before taking a bite of your food. “We’re literally living in a world where there are zombies right outside of our building. I don’t think it’s too obscure to think ghosts might exist!”

“Zombies are physical beings, though,” Lawrence butts in, “and there’s a direct cause to their existence. A virus. Ghosts don’t seem to be as possible as zombies.”

“Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there,” you argue. “With that logic, Bigfoot could easily exist as well.”

“That’s cause he does,” Lawrence mutters under his breath, but no one pays specific attention to it. Zion walks over to you from across the classroom, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and messing up your hair rather suddenly. You quickly let go of your food to use your hands to fight him off.

“Hey!”

The redhead laughs at you. “I think we’ve got a daydreamer on our hands! That’s dangerous in this kind of world, you know.”

“Your attitude is what’s dangerous,” you frown and gain a couple of laughs from the members in the room. Zion playfully shoves you with a scoff. “I’m just saying, if you see a little girl down the hall signing for you to join her little cult, don’t come crying to me!”

“Why a little girl?” Eugene suddenly asks and you shrug.

“Demons usually take the form of children so they can trick you.”

“Now that’s the most bullshit thing that’s been said tonight,” Zion barks out another laugh and you’ve had just enough of his teasing. A small plan formulates in your head and you just smile at him, returning to your meal a little smugly.

“Don’t come crying to me,” you warn.

---------

To your glee, Eugene gladly agrees to help you out with your little project once you come to him after dinner with your plan. The idea was a little crafty, and you both agreed you wanted Zion to be on his lowest guard. It took a while to finish your prop, and once you did, you both waited a few days until you put the plan into action. It was hard for the both of you to be quiet sitting at the corner of the hall, just out of sight, because you both were giggling so much.

“This is going to be so great,” Eugene whispers, and you can’t help but agree. Everything was perfect. You got Lawrence’s permission to leave dinner earlier than usual once the meeting was wrapped up, so you and Eugene got to your hiding spot no problem. The prop sits next to you, along with the small walkie talkie that Eugene had found in the supply closet. Now all you had to do was wait.

Eventually, everyone filed out of 1-C to head to their classrooms for the night. Everyone except for Zion, that is. You may or may not have told him to meet you in the hallway after dark. I have something really important to tell you, you had said. And the redhead, ever so loyal, quickly agreed to your trap. You admit it was a little unfair to trick him like this, but what’s done is done.

“Okay, he’s coming!” You whisper to Eugene, handing him the object and ushering him. “Put it out!!”

The blonde quickly does as you say, dashing and placing it in the middle of the hallway next to the open window, latching the walkie on the back of it before coming back to your hiding spot. “You have it turned on?”

You nod, lifting the other walkie up to your lips.

Footsteps echoed from beyond the hallway, slowly getting closer. The building was encased in darkness except for the one window where moonlight slipped through. It provided just enough light to create the silhouette you were hoping for.

The silhouette of a little girl in a white, flowing dress and long black hair (which was actually a sheet and a torn up mop).

“___?” Your name was called out from who you could immediately tell was Zion. “Are you here? I- what? ___?”

Perfect. He had seen it, then.

“Uh.” You had to slap a hand over Eugene’s mouth as he started shaking in his efforts not to laugh. You were struggling yourself, though, so you couldn’t blame him for almost breaking. “Who are you?”

You flipped the button on your walkie and started to whisper.

“Play with me, please,” A gust of wind shot through the open window, making the sheet whip around eerily.

“Play?” You could hear the confusion in Zion’s voice. “What do you-”

“I have somewhere fun we can go, please,” You tried your best to sing in the tune that you and Eugene had agreed on. “Play with me, don’t leave me alone, I have somewhere fun we can go, please,”

“Holy fucking shit,” whispered Zion. You wish you could see his face right now. You bet that it was to die for.

You tapped hard on Eugene’s shoulder, signaling him to pull out your last little trick of the evening.

“Please, Zion, don’t leave me alone! I have somewhere fun we can go!”

The button was pressed, making two faux eyes on the prop suddenly glow red, making Zion let out a shrill scream. You couldn’t take it; immediately you burst out laughing into the walkie, seemingly scaring him even more as you heard Zion run down the hallway. Eugene broke too, falling against the floor and holding his gut as you both laughed harder than you have in months.

“Oh my fucking god,” Eugene cried from the floor. “Oh my god. Oh my god, that was so funny,”

“I can’t believe it worked!” You looked over to the prop. From your point of view, it really wasn’t scary at all. “Oh my god, should we say anything?”

“No!” Eugene shook his head, smiling widely. “Let’s sneak back to our rooms and see what happens in the morning. Keep it to yourself, alright?”

You agreed. Prop in hands, the both of you shook with your giggles all the way back to your respective classrooms.

---------

Not wanting to potentially miss Zion, you woke up early the next day. You practically skipped into 1-C, a big grin adoring your face that you couldn’t hide. No one else was in the room except for Lawrence. He eyed you skeptically, but you didn’t mind.

“Someone’s a little cheerful this morning…” He sounds intrigued, if not a little suspicious.

You smile at him and shrug, picking up a muffin from the pile of breakfast food on one of the desks. “Just glad to be alive, Lawrence!” And you can’t say that was a lie, either.

The leader just hums in response, still eyeing you but not asking any questions. You were glad.

Eventually, Eugene comes in the room, shortly after Harry, and he quickly runs over and sits at the desk beside you with the same grin you were wearing this morning. Lawrence seemed to notice that, too, especially as you two whispered and giggled manically together.

Then Zion came into the room, giving Lawrence all the context clues he needed.

“Wow, Zion, you look a little shaken up,” he points out to the class. Once you look up at him, you see that it’s true. His eyes are baggy from lack of sleep and he’s paler than usual, his shoulders tense. He looks on edge. Eugene continues to laugh but you smack his chest to keep him quiet.

Zion smacks his lips, his mouth apparently dry as he tries to speak. “Yeah,” he shakes his head, trying to dismiss whatever thoughts were in his head, “yeah I’m fine. Just a little out of it. Had a nightmare.”

“A nightmare, huh?” Eugene prodded him. “What was it about?”

The redhead looks over at the two of you. You, trying desperately to not make eye contact while you hid a smile from behind your hand, and Eugene sitting and looking at him a little too smugly. Zion might be a little hotheaded, but he’s not dense. He puts the pieces together rather quickly.

“You!” Zion roars, dashing over and slamming the desk in front of you with his hands. “I can't believe you guys!! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

After being called out you couldn’t help but burst out laughing again, your eyes watery from the effort of holding it back. “I’m sorry! But you asked for it!”

“You guys are the actual worst!” Zion flushes from anger (and probably embarrassment) as he reaches over, punching Eugene hard in the shoulder.

The younger boy groans, nursing his shoulder and frowning. “Hey! It was _____’s idea!”

“What happened?” Someone finally asks. You look over at Harry, seeing confusion written all over him and the others.

Suddenly Lawrence walks in the room, taking everyone by surprise as they didn’t even notice he left. In his hands is the prop that was hiding in your closet. “Would it have anything to do with this?”

Zion’s mouth gapes open. “You scared me with that?!”

“What?”

“Ok, so maybe Eugene and I secretly built a prop to look like a little girl in the middle of the night to scare Zion.” You admit. “But it was his fault! He mocked me for believing in ghosts, so this is just your karma, honestly.”

“Bullshit! Karma has nothing to do with it! You were just being a dick!” Zion sputters and walks over to the prop. “Where the hell did you even get some of this shit?”

“That’s what I was just about to ask,” Lawrence nods, looking over at you. “Afterall, a pair of working walkie talkies is extremely valuable. And you hid them away for a prank?”

Eugene tries to defend you both. “An admittedly really funny prank!!” He gestures to the prop. “I mean, just look at it!”

The leader shrugs, “sure. Admittedly funny, but still, we shouldn’t use resources like this.”

“Funny?!” Zion gasps, offended. “This isn’t funny! I was terrified!”

“Of a wooden pole with a mop for hair and a sheet.”

“And the singing! That was the worst part!”

“I have somewhere fun we can go,” Eugene sings with a smile, earning him another hard hit from Zion.

Lawrence clears his throat, gaining the attention of the room back rather quickly. His eyes narrow at you and Eugene, and you suddenly feel like a child about to be scolded by their parent. “Still, using resources in a time of need in such a silly manner isn’t okay. The two of you will be punished for stressing out a member and wasting the batteries on the radios.”

“Punished?” You groan and roll your eyes at the way Zion gleams.

“Precisely. Eugene, you’ll have the duty of bathrooms for the rest of the week-“

“Oh come on!”

“And ___-“ Lawrence smiles at you, “you’ll have the rest of patrol duty this week with me.”

“What?” You and Zion spoke at the same time, confusion clear in your tone.

Eugene whines. “Are you serious? I’d rather do that!”

“I don’t think so, Eugene,” Lawrence chuckles. “I’m going to need to see significant progress while I’m on patrols, and you’ll find that I’m very, very hard to please.” He eyes you mischievously, and you can’t help but anxiously swallow. You think you’d rather clean the bathrooms.

[horrible-monstrosity]

so I watched another few episodes of steben poontangiverse at some point

Steven insults Aqua, gets "is that how you flattered gems to join you?" Yeah, it would be nice if Steven learned he has to be nice to people to spread love and shit and not just expect them to br nice to him cough that shit ronaldo episode cough After more shitting on Lars for not getting himself killed for stronk helpless Sadie, Steven apparently expects him to grow Luffy arms to get the destabilizers, without even telling him what the fuck they are- I mean what he's actually looking for, what they look like, not useless information about what they do- and yelling at him for not hopping to on this impossible and incomprehensible task, and its not made out like Steven's losing his shit or anything. We get it already, for fucks sake...

... Though once we get past that bullshit, it's actually a touching moment. Even Topaz turning out to be a sap with a valley girl voice works suprisingly well. The next few episodes put together a nice little story of Lars admitting his limitations and subsequently finding his balls. And then Topaz disappears into the sarlac pit of irrelevancy k bye

... whait why the fuCK DIDN'T STEVEN JUST BUBBLESHIELD INFLATION HIS WAY OUT OF TOPAZ AGAIN LIKE HE DID BEFORE FUCKING GOD DAMN IT

Fusion induces sentimentality, even same-gem fusions? This could actually have some interesting implications... I'd kind of imagine fusion is gem's equivalent of sexual reproduction- not like that, but something that would drive development of societal traits on an evolutionary level. That is, being capable of getting along well enough with another gem to form a fusion easily and often is a benefit, so those gems would survive better and presumably try to pass those traits on to newer gems to ensure the survival of their species. Then the Diamonds clamp down on fusion not because muh gay metaphors but because gems having these emotions towards each other makes them harder to control and turn into loyal little ruthless soldiers... but a benefit written into their species for so long isn't so easy to remove, so some gems are still drawn to fusion while others are made to have a feels by fusing where it's allowed (I guess same-gem fusions are less emotional and also less beneficial or something. idk) But, knowing this show, it's going to be all gems should have sentimentality without question, and also fusions are special becuase they make a gems have a feels, therefore all gems are equal but fusing gems are more special than others. You know, like how femtards insist men should be sissy like women and genderspecials for that gender equality but still parade around black female disabled transwomen of color as the genderiest of the gendered... I have no idea what I'm trying to say with this.

Love it when the other gems misgender Steven. But of course it;s okay when magic lesbains do it to a cissy man because reeeeeeasonths-

Thze Trial- wasn't this opening line used in the trailers in a dramatic fashion? Unless it's being recycled here from an earlier episode, they've fucked shit up again- it's subverted and made pointless and flaccid, because nothing of any drama or worth can be accomplished in this show without undermining it and making it pathetic. Why does this keep happening?

evil face rose in the files because why idk Why bother giving Steven a proper lawyer when they're just going to steamroll him, and why tell the lawyer gem they're going to shatter her if she fails when that's exactly what they want to happen? Besides forcing this plot to happen because Sugar and co wanted to press the court plot button- oops that's exactly what happen innit yellow and blue diadomd succing necc while waiting for the trial to start apparently. mmm sister-on-sister dictatorial action kinky

You'd think Steven saying he has no memories from before x years ago would be both relevant and important here, but it's never brought up during the actual trial...

... I actually do like the idea that Rose shattering Pink is the subject of some conspiracy theory, one that goes above the Diamonds themselves, where they don't actually know the details of the event and Blue is desperate to find out. Though even that isn't working very well- the implication is that Rose couldn't have shattered PD with her rose sword, but she could have used pretty much any sword-like blunt object to shatter PD. How'd she get past the guards, especially pink's Pearl? Just replace them with gems on her own side. I mean half the fandom already thinks our Pearl was Pinks anyway, just make it canon boom it's done. And we have Eyeball's outright witness testimony that Rose was there shattering Pink. What is there to actually be suspicious about?

The next episode that comes after that one: the broken ugly loser gems are oppressed we get it already Padparadpadchapadpadcha in particular is hilariously useless. I get shoddy gems banding together in fusions to achieve enough worth and basic functionality to continue existing, but she's just... well, useless. You'd think she'd have learned already that her visions are pointless and shut the fuck up- she'd have had a lifetime to figure this out, but since she's only just been introduced to the audience repeating the same thing over and over again is still "funny". If she's still worth something despite failing at the one job expected of Sapphire-type gems, it would help if you showed her being good at something besides making the same dumb joke over and over but nooooooooooooo-- This does not, however, explain the simple two-gem fusion who seems comparatively selfish in that she could live just as well apart and is only outcasting herself for the sake of her feels. Real-life oppressed gays and trannies or whatever don't typically go around flaunting it every waking second- since, you know, they're fucking oppressed. Just defuse and only fuse when there's no one around to want to shatter you you stupid fucks- And Flourite's gem hoarding fetish is just... ooh boy that's creepy. why the fucl does she have to talk so slow too the other fusion even manterrupted her once because she coulnd't hurry the fucc up jesys ... Actually, I'm not even sure the gems comprising Fluorite and the other one are supposed to be shit gems in the first place. It's sort of implied, but given... this show, I wouldn't be surprised if there's no reason for them to be outcasts aside from their lifestyle choices. Why are some gems like Garnet and this basically just garnet but with frilly sleeves so drawn to fusion, anyway? Is it a mental illness? I can't imagine all gems are supposed to feel compelled to make themselves one with another gem constantly, submerging their own selves in creation of a semi-autonomous third party...

then: So uh now Steven has healing tears I guess

So this is the """explanation""" for Lion. Rose's powers bringing things back to life turns them pink- okay, makes sense, her whole theme color is pink- and turns their hair into a connected pocket dimension that has no air and a tree. WHAT?

Okay, we all fucking knew Rose had created Lion herself somehow because of fucking course she did, her having used healing powers as part of it isn't a stretch, but it's pretty fucking clear she would have had to engineer most of those specific traits and abilities. The pocket dimension is one thing, the roar portals (roartals? no, this show doesn't even deserve puns) are another, and on top of all that the tree in the hair dimension seems like it would have been something Rose would have to plant like everything else she left in there. So why the fuck does bringing someone back to life with healing powers INHERENTLY come with all this other shit?? Even the fucking tree??

And on top of all that, this takes the wind out of the sails on finding out where Lion came from. It's the simplest, least interesting backstory, making the least possible use of Lion's traits and any hints given previously beyond like I dunno he's pink and also Rose is pink and healing bodily fluids. I think the concept of Rose engineering this herself is even already dead, as there's only two trees in the hairspace, ruling our any previous tests she might have run. Unless there's just like some little shrubbery sitting way out there in pinkspace.

so basically fuck this show. when's the next episodes on

[yuriplisetskysglove]

YOI Child AU ! First OS ~

Ok seriously, you guys deserve to know how the Child AU happened. So, @rilya-dewilder and myself were kinda angry (understatement) with all the hate in the Otayuri tag lately (aaannnd we both ship Otayuri like hell. Seriously. That ship will be the death of me and I love it more than my life. Moving on ~) so we got an idea to troll em. Annnnd thus, this OS was born. But it ended up being too good of an OS to actually let antis read it (ok no seriously, I don’t know if it’s actually good since I’ve only had one person read it, and although I’d never doubt Riri’s tastes in fanfcition, I’m worried about the quality of my own work lmao) Anyway, I hope you’ll enjoy reading it, sorry if there are grammar or spelling mistakes (and feel free to tell me if you spot any !) !! And while tumblr isn’t really a fanfiction platform (well... isn’t supposed to be lmao) I’d be really glad if you could provide me with some constructive criticism to help me improve >W< OS under the cut !

A/N: Steven is Mystery Man’s name (I’ve seen people calling him that so I just kinda went with it lol)

Such a nice and sunny winter afternoon rarely came in St Petersburg. What was even more rare was that both Viktor and Yuuri had managed to get a day off.

The latter was peacefully taking a nap on one of the couches, Makkachin laying at his feet. He had been pushing himself too hard lately, given that plenty of old ladies in town needed help with their grumpy cats and other ill puppies. Moreover, he had been taking in wandering pets that their owners had lost or abandonned, and currently was dedicating himself to finding them new homes. That’s why Viktor didn’t dare waking him up, choosing instead to enjoy some time with the children. Ever since Ekaterina and Dmitri had been made part of the family, Viktor’s daily life had become both a mess and an everlasting party, full of the ‘L words’; namely, ‘Love', and ‘Life'. If it was hard for him to manage his job as an assistant coach, it was even harder to deal with Yakov’s frequent angry rantings about the drama queen team he was training that season. And Viktor being their second coach did nothing to ease him. The living legend of Russia chuckled, suddenly remembering Yuri’s face upon learning he was to choreograph his free skate.

‘Why are you laughing, Daddy ?’ Ekaterina asked when she heard him.

They were watching Anastasia, a movie they all loved. Dmitri often would joke that the male lead had been named after him; while Ekaterina would tell him to shut it and watch the movie. They were eight and eleven, respectively, and thankfully none of them had begun their rebellious phase, although Dmitri had taken a bit of a sharp tongue from Mila.

‘Just wondering whether Guang Hong is mad at Yuri for getting gold again or not.’

‘He wouldn’t’, Dmitri objected. ‘They're friends. Also, Guang Hong is a good sport, unlike some people…’

‘Are you implying that Uncle Yura isn’t a good sport ?!’

They exchanged a very serious look. And then, Dmitri snorted, and started laughing uncontrollably. His loud laugh woke Yuuri up.

‘Dmitri…? Oh, I thought you were screaming because of something…’

‘Don't mind him, Papa’, quickly said Ekaterina. ‘He's just being dumb and rude towards Uncle Yura.’

She went near the couch, kissed her father, and then went back to watching her movie. Yuuri yawned, then shot a look at his phone.

‘Ah, speak of the devil. I got a text from Yurio.’

‘What's he saying ?’ Dmitri asked eagerly.

‘His plane has just landed ! He’s exhausted, though, so I don’t know if we should invite him for dinner…?’

‘Of course we should !’ the young girl said, tugging at Yuuri’s t-shirt. ‘I bet he missed your katsudon ! Also, it’s been a while since we’ve last seen him.’

‘It’s barely been a week.’

‘That's too long !’

Smiling, Viktor ruffled his daughter’s platinum blonde hair. She pouted, muttering something along the lines of ‘stop treating me like a baby !’.

‘She's right, though. A week might be nothing for old geezers like you but…’

‘What did you just call us ?!’ Viktor screamed before throwing himself at his husband. ‘Yuuri, did you hear that ?! He called us, old geezers. Old geezers ! We’re barely in our mid-late-something-thirties, Yuuri ! Are we really that old ?! And who taught him that, anyway ?!’

‘I'm guessing it’d be Yurio’, the ex-skater sighed.

‘Old geezers !’

‘At least, it’s better than… What was it, last time ?’

‘Out-of-date dinosaurs. Something like that. Yuuri am I old ? … Am I getting even more white hair ?! Is it getting thinner ?!’

‘Daddy, your hair is silver’, Ekaterina muttered.

She was more than used to her father being all dramatic about getting older. She, for one, couldn’t wait until she was old enough to compete in the senior ice-skating category. While Dmitri had given up on the sport, being more fond of reading or learning how to play the guitar, she loved ice-skating and was aiming to win at least six World Cups, to beat Viktor’s record, even though she wouldn’t compete in the same category.

‘Ah, I got another text.’

‘Are you not going to pay attention to me, Yuuri ?’

‘I'm paying attention to you every night, Vitya.’

‘... Smooth.’

The children exchanged a puzzled look. The adults were so very weird sometimes… All they knew was that they were doing ‘nasty adult stuff’. And they honestly didn’t want to know what that was.

‘He says that he’s gonna go home first to get rid of his stuff and hug every single cat he owns. And then he’ll come. Says he missed you two as well !’

‘How sweet of him. A few years back, he’d have gone with ‘who needs some dumb katsudon anyway. Still coming though, ain’t gonna let you waste your money over some rubbish.’’

Ekaterina’s eyes widened. Her Papa was the best cook in the entire world, she was sure of it.

‘Would Uncle Yura really say that ?’

‘Haven't you seen the photos ? He used to be such a drama queen - and, according to Dad, a tsundere.’

‘Dmitri, how do you even know what a tsundere is ?’ Yuuri sighed.

‘Went on a website called ‘tumblr'. There’s a fan page - well, over ten thousands, really - for the ‘Ice-Skating Prodigy Family’. Which apparently is made of the three of you. Ekaterina isn’t there, though.’

‘That’s because I’m still a junior competitor !’

‘Dmitri, don’t go on tumblr ever again, please.’

‘Why ? I mean, the fan page is pretty cool. There’s a lot of pictures of y’all. Like that one time you two skated together at the 2016 GPF Exhibition Gala. Pretty sure you wouldn’t fit in your costumes anymore !’

‘Dmitri, that was unnecessarily mean, and offensive, and rude.’

The boy rolled his eyes, and both men couldn’t help but do the same. He was taking a lot after Yuri. Feeling like getting in an argument would ruin the mood, Viktor paused the movie and turned to both the children, and his husband.

‘He'll want to eat katsudon and pirozhki, knowing him. Maybe we should make him some.’

‘Daddy, please don’t put a single toe in the kitchen’, Ekaterina begged. ‘Last time, when we tried to bake a cake for Uncle Otabek’s birthday, you managed to turn it green. Green, Daddy.’

‘That was -’

‘Definitely not an accident’, Dmitri smirked. ‘It's when you actually cook something edible that it is.’

‘Hey ! I’m not that bad, and -’

‘Also, both Yurio and Otabek got sick for two whole days after that. If I remember well, Yurio tried to kick you in the face with his skates when he got better.’

This shut Viktor down. He pouted, slowly went back to sitting on the couch, and tightly hugged Makkachin while pretending to cry.

‘Do you hear that Makkachin. This family hates me. This family hates me, Makkachin. What have I ever done to deserve that.

‘Vitya, I swear to… Ugh. Nevermind. We’re going to make that katsudon and those pirozhki.’

‘Yuuri is so cruel to me Makkachin. He hates me.’

The black-haired man rolled his eyes again, then went into the kitchen without his husband noticing his smirk. I’ll hug him later.

The two children listened carefully to Yuuri’s instructions, and even though there were some… flour battles when making the pirozhki, everything went rather smoothly. They had barely been done cleaning the kitchen that they heard the bell ringing, and Viktor went to get the door. He had stopped sulking, at least it seemed he did, because when he saw Yuri, he immediately shot him his heart-shaped smile and gave him a tight hug.

‘Viktor, stop, I’m suffocating and besides this is embarrassing, also -’

‘Uncle Yura !’

Ekaterina ran to hug the blonde, mercilessly pushing her father out of the way before she crashed onto the young man’s torso, crushing his bones in an even tighter hug.

‘Ekaterina, I can’t fucking breathe’, he muttered. His skinny built had never been much for bone-crushing hugs, especially the Katsuki-Nikiforov daughter’s.

‘No swearing, Yurio !’ Yuuri claimed before hugging him as well.

‘Yeah, yeah. Beka said he’d be coming later, he wanted to finish washing his bike before that. Is that okay ?’

They went inside, and Yuri had a bit of a hard time dealing with an over-excited Makkachin - the dog really did like him, and even though Yuri was definitely more of a cat person, he actually had nothing against him and even played with him a little.

‘Where's Dmitri ?’ he asked after Viktor had managed to calm Makkachin down.

As soon as he asked, the brown-haired boy came dashing from the corridor.

‘Papa !’

He threw himself onto the blonde’s back, and the latter, unused to having unexpected weight being thrown at him, fell down on his knees as his son started tickling him.

‘Dmitri - fuck, Dmitri stop it I - I said, stop it, ugh, stop, my sides hurt !’

The boy obeyed, albeit reluctantly, and offered his father his brightest smile.

‘Where's Dad ?’

‘He'll be late. How’re you, lil’ monster ?’

‘Hey. I’m more of a gremlin, really. And I’m great ! Uncle Vitya lent me a few cool books, you should totally read ‘em Papa.’

‘Uh, tell that to Beka. Y’know I’m not that much of a book person.’

‘Liar, I saw Romeo and Juliet on your bedside table just last week.’

‘When have you become such a ninja ?’

‘Oi ! Dmitri, don’t keep Uncle Yura all for yourself, that’s unfair !’

The two children started bickering, and all three adults exchanged a knowing look. They had always been like this.

‘So, Uncle Yura, what does Beijing look like ?’

‘I sent your dads a few pics already, y’know. It’s pretty cool, I guess, just a bit… crowded. But Guang Hong and Leo took us to some restaurant and even though I still can’t use fu… frea… um… chopsticks, we had some good time.’

‘And then ?’

‘And then what ?’

‘Dad said he wanted to take you on his bike and drive around the city. Said it’d be romantic.’

Yuri almost instantly went red. Despite him being twenty-six already, he still was embarrassed by Otabek’s not-so-well-hidden idea of romance, and his face showed it quite well. Viktor and Yuuri smirked at the ice kitty of Russia, who, fortunately, didn’t see them. Otherwise, he’d probably have punched them both.

Just as he was mumbling something like ‘Otabek you’re such a dumbass why did I even marry you’, the bell rang again, and this time, Dmitri went to open the door. As soon as he recognized his father’s black coat, he hugged him tight, and Otabek smiled gently before stroking his head. He closed the door behind him, then went to meet the little committee.

‘Sorry for being late. I really wanted to get this done.’

‘No problem, Otabek’, Yuuri smiled. ‘Actually, Yurio’s been here for just a few minutes, you know.’

They started chatting, mostly evaluating the chances of Yuri winning this season’s GPF - even though he had won gold for both qualifying events, he was to compete against some new skaters, who were inexperienced indeed, but extremely talented. Besides, Yuri had already proven that experience in the Senior bracket didn’t actually matter as long as the skaters worked hard and took full advantage of their talents - which had granted him a gold medal for his Senior Debut.

‘Hey, Dmitri, given that both your dads made it to the GPF this year, who will you be rooting for ?’ Ekaterina asked.

‘Dunno. Both, I guess ? At least if I’m in both fanclubs, I’m guaranteed to be satisfied.’

He smiled at his parents, and they chuckled, smiled, and Otabek fist-bumped him.

‘I hope Guang Hong and Leo make it, too.’

‘Yurio, is JJ really going to be singing for the opening event ?’

‘Uh… I didn’t ask him and I really hope he’s not ‘cause I seriously won’t have the time and fucking patience to deal with him…’

‘Come on, you two are friends now. And that dress he wore for your wedding was fabulous.’ Viktor winked at the children, who didn’t know of that story. After all, Ekaterina had been part of the family for eight years only, while Dmitri hadn’t spent more than five years with his foster family.

‘I still have the pictures Phichit took ! They must be in some photo album, I’ll show you later’, Yuuri smiled.

‘Mr. Katsuki, I don’t think it’s a good idea.’

‘You know, Otabek, you can call us Yuuri and Viktor. I mean, we’ve been Mr. Katsuki and Mr. Nikiforov for years now. I know, I know, you think it’s disrespectful but, really… Nevermind. Why is it a bad idea ?’

Otabek shook his head.

‘Mr. Giacometti is featured in a few of them.’

Silence fell upon the room, and Ekaterina broke it first.

‘As in, Christophe Giacometti ? Daddy’s best friend ? Uncle Chris ?’

‘Himself', Yuri groaned. ‘Why did he even have to come… He spent the entire afternoon getting drunk off his ass with Emil and Michele… Not to mention Georgi giving Minami some makeup advice… And Mila and Sara flirting… Ugh… Seriously, the only guy who stayed chill until the end was Seung-Gil.’

‘Leo went wild on the dancefloor, and both Yuris had a dance-off with him’, Viktor smirked.’

‘Leo did ? I thought he was cooler than that…’

‘What's that s’posed to mean, Dmitri ?!’

‘But Uncle Chris is so sweet !’ Ekaterina said. ‘Last time, he brought us Swiss chocolate for the Easter holidays !’

‘Yeah well now he’s calmed down, especially with Steven tempering him. But seriously… I’ve seen things at the GPF Gala that I’d rather not remember.’

‘Like what, Papa ?’

‘I said I didn’t wanna remember that.’

When the clock hit nine in the evening, they suddenly realized they had completely forgotten about the katsudon and pirozhki, and both Yuris went extremely pale, fearing for their beloved dishes’ lives. Turns out they actually weren’t half bad at all, and they ended up staying up quite a while talking about different things - although Yuri fell asleep halfway, his head laying on Otabek’s shoulder while the latter was starting to get tired as well. After all, he also had had an exhausting trip from Beijing to St Petersburg, and he moreover had to wash his bike and prevent their four cats from running away.

Seeing how tired both of them were, and having a hard time dealing with Dmitri and Ekaterina’s over-cheerfulness, Viktor and Yuuri let the Altin-Plisetsky couple sleep in a spare room. When they were done making sure that everything was comfortable enough for them, they went back to the living room, and found their sweet daughter, fast asleep on the couch.

‘Awww, Yuuri, an angel has dozed off on our couch. Should we wake her up ?’

‘No, let her be… Let’s just bring her a cover and that cat plushie Yurio gave her, she loves it.’

‘That reminds me… Where has Dmitri gone ?’

They went back in the kitchen, but the boy was nowhere to be seen. Viktor quickly checked in Yuri and Otabek’s room, but he wasn’t there either. They kept searching for a few minutes, until they heard someone sneezing, only to find a wide-awake Dmitri on the balcony.

‘You're going to catch a cold, Dmitri’, Yuuri said as he gently took his hand to lead him back inside.

But the boy didn’t move an inch, and kept looking at the scenery that spread before his magnificent blue eyes. The ever-so-cheerful St Petersburg was drowned in its own silence, beautiful and intimidating. They could see some lights coming out of other houses, where other people lived other lives. Both adults stared at the boy.

‘Is it bad that I’m different from everyone in the family ?’ he finally said in a quiet, shy voice.

‘Are you ?’ Yuuri asked. ‘Different, I mean.’

The boy seemed to regret his words at first, and it looked like he wasn’t going to try and answer Yuuri’s question. Instead, he went back inside to grab Otabek’s giant coat, put it on like some kind of oversized costume, and sat down on one of the balcony chairs. His gaze fell upon the peaceful city again, as he started talking in a voice that didn’t quite sound like his.

‘Ice-skating isn’t my thing. Sure, it can be cool. Sometimes. Mila said that I would grow to like it. But it’s not the same ‘like' as you two or Ekaterina or my parents’ ‘like'. It’s not even a hobby.’

‘Does that make you feel… Apart from us ?’ Viktor muttered.

‘Kinda. I mean, I won’t force myself to like it just because the people I love do. But I don’t like being left out either. Papa and Dad spend so much time abroad because of it. And yeah, I know they come back as often as possible ‘cause they wanna see me, and all of us really, but… It’s not the same…’

‘If this is what worries you, Dmitri, know that they love you. Deeply’, Viktor smiled.

‘It's not. I know they do. I guess I just missed them quite a bit and I really want to spend more time with them. I know what it’s gonna be. One of them will get gold at the GPF, and then they’ll go for the Europeans, the Four Continents and the Worlds, and then they’ll come back, only to go away again…’

‘Geez, aren’t you too small to worry about these ?’

All three turned around, and met a pair of tired, green eyes. Yuri was leaning against the door, staring at his son.

‘Papa ! I… I thought you were asleep…!’

‘I was. But Beka snores like a freaking grizzly. Shouldn’t have given him any booze.’

He sat down, his torso and bare arms inside the living room while his legs laid on the balcony.

‘I’m sorry’, he said. ‘I'm sorry we don’t get to spend as much time with you as we’d all like.’

‘... I didn’t really want you to apologize, y’know ? It’s not really your fault if you like skating that much.’

‘This one is our last season.’

Yuuri couldn’t help but let out a faint exclamation, but he was quick to cover his mouth, afraid he might wake Ekaterina up. Viktor simply frowned, and then sighed.

‘I knew there had to be a reason for you to be this invested this year.’

‘We’re not gonna stay competitive forever. Besides, we’ve been talking a lot about you, lil’ monster. Viktor and the piglet aren’t always gonna be taking care of you when it’s our job.’

‘You can’t ! You… That’s your passion ! You’ve loved it since you were three !’ Dmitri yelled. ‘Don't give up just because I’m an attention whore and -’

‘Language, kid. And trust me, if you were an attention whore, I’d have punched you long ago so don’t go around saying that.’

‘Then, Yurio, what… What are you going to do ?’ Yuuri asked.

‘Dunno. I’ve been asked to work as a model but to be honest, it’d be a pain in the ass. Beka thinks he’s gonna start in the music industry, though.’

‘Are Uncle Yura and Uncle Otabek retiring…?’ asked Ekaterina’s soft voice from the couch.

She was looking at them with bright grey eyes, her hair falling before her face as she slowly stood up and went to sit next to Yuri.

‘Yeah. We are.’

‘We'll never get to see you skate again ?’

‘Not during a competition.’

‘But… You’ll keep loving it, right ? Like Papa and Daddy do ?’

‘Course we will.’

He patted her head, and yawned. She looked like she was about to cry, but she didn’t and simply went to hug Yuuri.

‘Yuri', Viktor said. ‘If none of you win gold this year, or beat your records, I’m keeping Dmitri here and you’re not taking him back ever again.’

‘What ?!’ both Yuri and Dmitri screamed.

‘That's so fucked up, old man ! Who d’you think you are ?! Also are you serious ?! I knew you were stupid but this is some JJ-level bullshit, have you even heard what you -’

‘Yura ? Why are you and Mr. Nikiforov arguing… Again...?’

Otabek had just entered the room, still sleepy.

‘Beka ! Tell the old man that he can’t keep our son all to himself even if none of us win gold !’

‘... What ?’

‘That’s his way of encouraging you’, Yuuri sighed. ‘Well, as long as none of you ask him to marry you if you win gold…’

‘Not happening, the guy’s way too old for me, you can keep him.’

‘Yuri, that was rude !’

‘But I don’t wanna keep living with Grandpa and Gramps, though.’

‘Why would you call my Papa and Daddy ‘Grandpa and Gramps’ ?!’

‘Well, remember that website I talked about earlier ? Tumblr ? People say that Papa is Viktor and Yuuri’s son. So, technically, they’re my grandparents.’

‘... Does that mean Uncle Yura is… Big Brother Yura ?’

‘That also means Dmitri is your nephew’, Otabek said bluntly.

‘Which is fucked up. Also, I’m not their son for fuck’s sake ! Could they stop with this bullshit for even a fucking minute ?!’

‘Yurio, I’ve been trying not to pay attention to it but please don’t swear that much in front of the children’, Yuuri begged.

‘Yeah, Papa, listen to Grandpa Yuuri !’

‘Wait, I get to be Gramps ?! But… But I wanted to be Grandpa !’

‘Dude, you have your priorities set straight.’

‘I'm pretty sure he’s not.’

Silence followed Otabek’s declaration as he stared extremely seriously at everyone in the room. Yuri ended up facepalming, stood up and pulled his ear.

‘Who the fuck are you and what have you done with my bad-puns-free-Beka.’

‘I'm Drunk Beka.’

‘Fuck.’

Then, Otabek collapsed in his husband’s arms, who winced before putting him down on the ground.

‘Wow, now that’s a side of Dad I didn’t know’, Dmitri smirked before taking a picture.

‘Don't even try blackmailing him, kid.’

‘Aww, Yuuri, our son is so protective of his boyfriend !’

‘Viktor, shut your fucking mouth ! He’s not my boyfriend, he’s my husband. And. I. Am. Not. Your. Son.’

Viktor was going to reply, when Ekaterina sneezed. Everyone agreed to go back inside. They hadn’t even realized how cold it was. They spent another few hours talking and playing some board games while Otabek was still asleep on the fluffy carpet; Ekaterina and Dmitri then went with Yuuri to take all covers and pillows off the beds and out of the closets, and gathered them all on the floor. Everyone fell asleep together, Yuri hugging Dmitri and Ekaterina being comfy between her two fathers.

Needless to say, the following week, they were all tied up to their beds with a nasty cold, and Yakov came running to scold every single one of them, even the two children who knew that the man was much, much kinder than he’d ever let people think.

AAAnnnnnd done !!! I hope you liked it, and especially Dmitri and Ekaterina >W< Sorry it ended up way angstier than expected - I do that, sometimes. Truth is, I love writing angst so... Beware of your feels 8D Anyway