#under a read more bc it's long from transcribing everything lol

[amatres]

Okay, the first few collections of ascended astarion documentation while i observe the two under a microscope.

first, the day after turning

Astarion: You are so beautiful… And you will be beautiful forever. Thank you for trusting me. Balaerra: What exactly happened? Astarion: You were drained dry, and at the height of your delirium, I granted you one drop of my own blood. Things will be a touch different for you than they were for me when I was a spawn. I'm imbibed with unfathomable new talents. I am fairly certain I can extend Mephistopheles' blessings unto you. Balaerra: Does that mean I need not fear the sun? Astarion: You need not fear anything. You will be stronger, swifter, sharper, but you won't be different. You were already perfect before. It's hard to improve. Astarion: For me, well… You probably expect me to turn into a sea of mist, run wrongside-up on roofs, and to call on legions of wolves in battle. That will all happen in due time. But for now, patience is required. I hear the whispers of the night, but I can't yet speak it's language. It's going to take a while to become acquainted with my new self Balaerra: Are you bound to Mephistopheles? Astarion: Mephistopheles has made a new monster, not bound a creature to his will. The Rite was honoured, the sacrifice is over. Everything lies ahead. I can see my path to a waking dream. From the crimson palace, I will govern day and night. Create a city of spawn who bow before me, cast a fog over the world for me children. Astarion: I wish we could retreat into our palace already, and spend a decade in each other's arms. But first we must manage the trifling manner of the brain. Perhaps it will listen to us. Perhaps it, too, will serve. Balaerra: We can't trust the brain. Astarion: We shall see. Baldur's Gate is a city of opportunity like no other, and I don't intend to let one like this pass us by.

and the 'can we talk about us answers. I actually got two answers when I asked 'what are we, so I'll put them both here. I asked twice because the conversation ends so abruptly after he gives his answer I got confused lmao.

Don't mind him being so bloody, i only ever long rest after we get our asses beat

Astarion: Seven thousand souls have given me the power to carve out my own future, and I want you to be part of it .... Astarion: Little love, whatever could be the matter? Balaerra: Can we talk about the two of us? Astarion: Go on, then. I'll allow it. Balaerra: What are we, to you? Astarion: Aeterna amantes. Lovers forever, until the world falls down.

Afterwards, his response to 'can we talk about us' changes. I don't know if this is because I triggered it to change, or the response is random and I just got it twice, but interesting to note if it was intentional.

The game doesn't keep track of some things you've asked, or have or have no done, so I got to ask again about walking in the sun to see what he says. This is where the 'don't stray too far from me' line comes from, I'm surprised! For some reason I thought that would be from kicking him out of the party.

Another thing to note is Balaerra hadn't let him drink her blood since the initial reveal scene until he turned her, so I was surprised I also got that option here! Added her reaction to it in the screenshots bc it's funny to me.

As a final note for this convo, his 'sequester you in my palace' line when read sounded? like he was joking about it. Or at least being sarcastic, but you never know, he does get pretty possessive on this path.

Astarion: My consort, we are so close to our triumph, I can almost taste it. Balaerra: Can we talk about the two of us? Astarion: You want to talk? Oh, that's very cute. Balaerra: You made me your spawn… What is going to happen to me? Astarion: 'Spawn' is an ugly word. I really do prefer 'consort'. Balaerra: What do you mean to do with me, as your consort? Astarion: As much as I wish to sequester you in a deep chamber of my palace and keep you all to myself, there's much to be done. First we'll take Baldur's Gate. Then we'll take over the world. We'll dominate it until the sun itself melts, and then we'll give ourselves to the night. Balaerra: Cazador could compel you - can you compel me? Astarion: Why would I need to? You're going to be wonderfully obedient. Balaerra: Does this mean I won't be able to walk in the sun if my tadpole is removed? Astarion: Don't you worry. You have supped of my blood. It will be no trouble to extend a fragment of my protection to you. Just don't stray too far. But you'd never dream of doing that, would you? Balaerra: Will you still drink my blood? Astarion: Of course I will, and you will drink mine. I can't wait to taste your lips after you've tasted me.

And then just the asking to kiss. Not really that important, though I will say the audio bugged and I got what, I think, is his pre quest line where he says, paraphrasing 'you are better every time' or smthing like that. probably glitched bc i never chose the option before bc pda flusters me lol

Astarion: Little love, whatever could be the matter? Balaerra: Can we talk about the two of us? Astarion: You want to talk? Oh, that's very cute. Balaerra: Could I kiss you? Astarion: Can't get enough? I'm not surprised. Astarion: Delicious…

[lilyware]

I came with more random band oc lore bits as well as this little relationship chart which may or may not be legible since I did it all on my phone lmao...

the reason why kiyoko is so big on keeping happy memories of her and her friends (with photography) is because she has an older brother who is always in and out of the hospital due to illness. she has almost no memories with him that didn't involve a hospital.

she's not on bad terms with her parents but is at home as little as possible because the vibes are always just bad. she feels a bit neglected cause her parents always focus on her brother, and every conversation is about him even on the good days. she's always with shiori because of this

nana does most of the songwriting. kiyoko is good at putting feelings into words and michiko is good at writing/wordplay bc of her extensive reading, so the two collaborate on lyrics. shiori is pretty artistic due to her fashion design background so she does things like posters and promo material. mai has the most raw musical expertise out of the group

mai's pet bird (a cockatiel) is named rocky

michiko also has a pet cat (grey tabby) named haru

nana's parents want her to go into a respectable field but she obviously wants to stay in music. she's super intelligent but skips class and intentionally tanks her grades so people think she isn't, and she won't be able to go to a good university like her parents want.

michiko has a big sweet tooth and is a frequent customer at yamabuki bakery. she's probably close acquaintances with saya, she's probably one of (if not the) only one not from her band that michiko can relax around. fuck it michiko is a popipa fan now

mai and nana were always set on doing music in the future. shiori wants to study fashion design, kiyoko would probably do photography (but potentially go full time into music in the future). michiko wasn't sure what she was gonna do in the future but just wants to stay with her friends.

the real reason why nana pursued music so heavily was so she could stay with mai. when mai almost quits the band, nana admits to her in private that she would quit too (despite nana being the glue that holds everyone together) because doing music isn't worth it without mai.

shiori is a big manga reader which leads her to have a bit of a crazy imagination and unrealistic expectations lol. like when mai and nana have their heart-to-heart shiori just pictures a tearful love confession under the moonlight like a shoujo anime lmao

shiori tries to bond with michiko out of their shared love for reading with little luck as their reading material is extremely different (michiko is a long novel person). michiko is also the most extreme introvery and shiori is the most extreme extrovert lol, so michiko probably finds her very overwhelming

nana and mai are third years, kiyoko and shiori are second years, michiko is either first or second - haven't decided.

And my little relationship graph I spent too much time on... I transcribed it below in case you can't read it lol

Kiyoko's thoughts on:

Shiori (Shiori-chan): My home away from home

Michiko (Michiko-chan): So brave... proud of you

Mai (Mai-senpai): I want to be cool like you

Nana (Nana-senpai): Please teach me...!

Shiori's thoughts on:

Kiyoko (Kiyoko-chan): My best friend

Michiko (Michiko-chan): We totally have so much in common!! [They don't]

Mai (Nakashima-chan): Rude. Obnoxious.

Nana (Nana-chan): Like a big sister

Mai's thoughts on:

Kiyoko (Kiyoko-san): Respect [Kiyoko's] ambition

Shiori (Tsukiyama): Annoying. Obnoxious.

Michiko (Michiko-san): Secretly protective [of Michiko]

Nana (Nana): The only one who knows me

Michiko's thoughts on:

Kiyoko (Sano-san): My first friend...

Shiori (Tsukiyama-san): Too much energy...

Mai (Nakashima-san): Scary...

Nana (Takano-san): Everything I want to be

Nana's thoughts on:

Kiyoko (Kiyoko-san): Like a little sister

Shiori (Shiori-san): I wish I could be as free as you

Michiko (Michiko-san): Lots of potential

Mai (Mai-chan): The reason I do music

The general vibes I tried to give off with the names/honorifics (sorry if anything is either incorrect or cringe lol)

michiko is a little anxious ball so she is always overly respectful when referring to her friends

shiori is almost too casual and childish and refers to everyone with -chan. mai refused and said only nana can call her mai-chan, so she's called nakashima-chan instead.

mai is only close with nana so she only calls her by her name without honorifics. she just calls shiori by her last name cause she's not a fan of her lmao

nana calls everyone -san out of politeness and because she's kind of the mediator of the group. as the only one close enough to mai, she gets the -chan

kiyoko really looks up to her seniors and wants to learn everything she can from mai and nana to be the best musician she can be

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

NEVER WAS THERE A TALE OF MORE WOE, THAN THAT OF OUR JEANNE AND FANGDADDIO 😭😭😭

But alas, I will relay what I read back in the day to the best of my abilities! Spoilers for the end of Jeanne’s route under the cut, rated E (for everyone) for maximum uwus (and M for angst bc F U C K):

Okay so basically Jeanne’s route goes a lot like most of the routes, and when MC gets attacked (by the rival vampire turned by Vlad) our eyepatched wonder is not happy about it. He storms over to Comte’s room and demands to have his questions answered. Comte notes how deathly serious he is and breezes past the enmity, telling him to go ahead and ask whatever he needs to. Jeanne threatens to kill Comte if it turns out that he’s lying about anything from this point forward. To which Comte (being a little shit), replies that he literally can’t die so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Jeanne tells him he doesn’t care what it takes; he’ll rend him apart to the tiniest shred over and over and over again--even if it takes them both to the other side to accomplish it. Comte concedes and says “very well; if I lie, you’re welcome to try.” Jeanne finally asks if Comte has made a revival pact with anyone new. Comte is genuinely confused and confesses that he hasn’t--that he has no idea who Jeanne is talking about. “What ‘comrade in arms’???” Jeanne seems to sense that Comte is responding in earnest (but is also confused bc like, then who the fuck else turned the guy??? WHO IS THE THREAT I MUST STAB)

Jeanne admits that MC was attacked and you can feel the change in gravity in milliseconds. Comte starts asking where she is and if she’s okay, and Jeanne explains that she’s still in the mansion and she’s fine. Jeanne then asks if Shakespeare has the ability to turn people like he does, and Comte is bewildered to put it mildly. He’s like ??????? Where is this coming from, of course he doesn’t???? I turned him myself, he’s a lesser vampire--he doesn’t have that ability???? In a moment of sheer livid impatience, Jeanne grabs Comte by the lapels and screams “Then who can!?!?!?!” Comte stares at him and admits that there are only two people that he is aware of who can accomplish such a thing, himself and someone else. They hear a loud crash and they run to the dining room, only to find a window smashed, Mozart wounded, and MC gone. Comte’s furious sprite appears, and he asks Jeanne to look after MC, he has something to take care of. Isaac asks him where on earth he’s going, and he reveals that he’s going to Will’s house before storming out.

Poor Shakespeare faces the brunt of Comte’s rage--though I get the feeling, knowing now that Shakespeare is Vlad’s puppet--that the threat was meant more for Vlad than for Shakey boy. Comte goes to Shakey’s place and Shakespeare offers to put on tea or wine, says it’s strange for him to appear so late. Comte tells him not to bother, since he isn’t here to exchange pleasantries. Shakespeare seems p shocked given Comte isn’t usually one to be so direct or terse, and when Comte walks in he backs Shakespeare into the wall step. By step. By step. He asks him if he was involved in the harm done to MC, and Shakespeare’s like “Yeah lol what’s it to you.” And when their shoes are nearly touching, Comte grabs him by the throat and lifts him off the ground. He tells Shakespeare that if this goes on, he won’t show any mercy: "To those that would harm a single member of my house, I will hunt them to the ends of the earth. To the very depths of hell." The narration notes that he lets go of whatever dampens his pureblood aura and nearly suffocates Shakespeare with his raw intensity and power, before putting him down again and saying “That’s all I have to say. I have no more questions for you.” Comte walks right back out, slamming the door while Shakespeare is on the floor coughing. 

So, needless to say, things are hella rocky between Comte and Jeanne throughout the better part of the route. But given the odd dichotomy of Comte’s reactions (his complete acceptance of Jeanne’s fury versus his own anger being directed at Vlad), it definitely felt like there was more there. Everything finally comes full circle at the end when Comte gathers everyone inside the dining room to explain precisely what happened (Vlad, etc. I’m assuming) and asks everyone to take proper precautions moving forward: "I'll take steps to make sure this never happens again. But if we are faced with a similar situation, know that I am prepared to protect you all with every fiber of my being." He deems secrecy a moot point given this incident, and just wants everyone to be safe and ask for help should they need it in the future. 

MC notes that he doesn’t have his usual placid demeanor; he’s incredibly serious and grave. She’s like “Oh boy some serious shit went down huh...but if anything, I feel like it’s only made us have more faith in his ability to protect us c:” AND HERE IS WHERE THE BIG HURT HAPPENS KIDS GET YOUR TISSUES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Jeanne: "...Alright. I will trust in your words. But can I ask just one thing?” Comte: “Yes, Jeanne?” Jeanne: "You know I always hated you, I truly believed you revived me against my will for a long time." Comte just sorta deflates, but he doesn’t say anything (MY POOR BABIE) Jeanne: "But, is that really the case? Did I want to live on, away from that pyre...?" [There was a long silence.] Comte: “...That day, when I appeared, you screamed desperately 'Why must I die here. Whether it be God or the devil, someone make use of me!'” Important note: Jeanne tells MC that he is able to recall thinking that, but he has no acute recollection of saying it; this is the moment at which he lost consciousness. MC: [;-; No matter how hard he tried to stifle it, it (his deep wish to live) came out all the same...] I wasn’t able to transcribe it, but Comte essentially tells him that he tried to ask Jeanne, but he was already barely hanging on--there was no way he could get a proper answer. (This is highly plausible given we know that Jeanne was incarcerated by the Inquisition, tortured, and starved before he was tied to that pyre--it was a miracle he lasted that long. He didn’t even have the strength to move/struggle from where he was tied). Comte goes on to say that Jeanne was pissed to shit when he woke up and there was little he could do to alleviate that (I mean given he was waiting for the sweet release of death it makes sense but also N O ;-;). For a while Jeanne just stares at him before asking: Jeanne: “...Why? Why didn’t you tell me after all this time?” Comte: "Because I thought it was okay if you berated me a little." Jeanne (vine voice: AMERICA EXPLAIN): ?????????? Comte: "Despite being alive...you looked dead to the world ever since the day we met. No matter how hard I tried or whatever I did, I couldn't seem to change that. But...the only emotion I seemed to be able to draw out of you was hate. If hatred was the only thing that could move you, I figured I'd take on that role. Better to see you express something than to see you lifeless beyond any glimmer of hope or change." Jeanne: "Why....why would you go that far?? Why did you bother? I don't...understand" BECAUSE HE HAS SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE AND HE LOVES YOU I’M SOBBING ALL OVER AGAIN OKAY DEEP BREATHS THE SHOW MUST GO ON MINNIE Comte: "Because I'm the one that revived you...because to me, you're all my precious family." Jeanne: "...............................................................I...I'm sorry" AND JEANNE HANGS HIS HEAD WAAAAAAAAAAAH Comte’s brows rise: “...Jeanne?” Jeanne: "I know an apology doesn't forgive everything I did/said. But I don't know how else to make amends"

It goes on to show them all making amends, and while Jeanne can sometimes be like “ughghhghgh d a d stop nagging I’m fINE” he secretly really loves the guy. In Jeanne’s third bday story he’s literally like [Comte’s a weirdo but I see now that that's just how he cares abt me. He's not just worldly, he's a good guy. c: I just don’t care abt whatever he’s going on abt rn]

So like full disclosure before Jeanne’s route I still loved Comte but I really didn’t know much about him beyond the “eccentric nobleman persona.” Granted we definitely get glimpses into who he really is, but this was a sizeable breakthrough. (And probably a strong allusion to the release of Comte’s MS soon after.) That being said, there were so many things said here that just absolutely shattered my heart. 

Because here’s the thing. I have no qualms with Comte’s wish to be a dad--or even to revive the men, for that matter. If it makes him happy and he intends to take care of them reasonably well, then who am I to criticize him? (Fun fact: Leonardo essentially says the same exact thing; he’s more against it than I am because of the whole turning humans, but he doesn’t necessarily vilify Comte because he knows his intentions are good. And if everyone’s happy with it, what can he say?) But the fact that Comte handles their issues with so much patience and maturity...I’m in love???? There is sincerely nothing sexier than this for me. He’s fully aware that Jeanne was treated like absolute shit by the people he tried to protect, that he never really got to live for himself a single day in his life--never knew a moment’s peace, joy, or appreciation. He tries everything he can think of to get Jeanne to maybe not hate being alive as much, but fails at every turn. He still refuses to give up on the guy despite the less than ideal state of things, and decides that if Jeanne needs an enemy to survive--he will be that enemy. He doesn’t care that the guy he’s trying to help would skewer him the second he had his back turned (Jeanne pls this was a new suit couldn’t this wait). He takes full responsibility for deciding to turn him; knows that since he erred on the side of caution, it’s up to him to offer a life that’s worth keeping/staying alive for. He doesn’t belittle Jeanne’s plight for a moment, never deems him stupid or shortsighted. He’s able to understand that in the wake of so much pain and loss, of course Jeanne might not notice the finer points of Comte’s attempts to cheer him up. Even if it pains him to be on negative terms (HE LOVES HIS BOY HE DOESN’T WANT TO FIGHT) he will fully accept it if it brings Jeanne peace, if it helps Jeanne get to a place where he can begin to accept the affection he wants to offer.

And THAT’S what kills me, kids. Four hundred years, and Comte fucking LEARNED something. He is perceptive to uncanny degrees, and never fails to read a room in milliseconds; not only does he pick up on how people feel, he responds with appropriate, gentle measures. What I love so much about Comte is that he knows full well that genius does not come without its price. You could be the smartest person on earth, the most talented, whatever you choose to call it, but it will invite no shortage of hatred from other people, no shortage of misunderstanding and disdain and violence. If people don’t go mad with power, they are destroyed by the very places that birthed them. As such, the last thing he wants to do is put them under more pressure, or force them to do things against their will; he just wants to give them a chance to live beyond such fickle and hostile circumstances. And he takes this seriously, this isn’t remotely a whim for him despite all evidence to the contrary. He gets that healing takes time, and as much as he wants everyone to be happy he’s more than willing to give them space/resources to figure it out. Like. He is the father everybody DREAMS they had (if they didn’t already have a good one) and the fact that I can’t tell him what a wonderful job he’s doing is killing me on all levels INCLUDING physical.

And I just?????? Jeanne’s palpable remorse when he finds out????? And Comte’s surprise???????? Like Comte wasn’t necessarily expecting that level of apology, he knew he was taking a gamble and he was ready to do whatever he had to, he wasn’t intending to hold it against his boy. But Jeanne just has such a tender and well-meaning heart (no matter how much he struggles to express it) that regret was inevitable. There’s just so much love in that moment, in Comte’s capacity to forgive and take on so much of poor Jeanne’s unhappiness, and Jeanne’s fully ability to admit he was misguided, lower his head, and apologize. THEY JUST GET ME BLUBBERING LIKE A THREE YEAR OLD OKAY THEY ARE BOTH SO IMPORTANT TO ME AND I HURT

Tl;dr: JEANNE’S ROUTE SHOT ME FORTY-SEVEN TIMES IN THE CHEST AND LEFT ME PINING FOR COMTE MORE THAN EVER BEFORE OTL

Also a bonus, because it only just occurred to me (spoilers from the end of Comte’s route):

THEY HAVE A LEGIT REVERSAL AT THE END OF COMTE’S ROUTE???? Comte once again gathers everyone to reveal Vlad’s identity and intentions, and he apologizes for keeping it from everyone, lowering his head. He’s more than ready to face everyone’s ire for keeping secrets, but everyone’s just like “dad pls lift your head it’s okay, we’re just glad we can help you now--you don’t have to carry it all on your own.” AND IT IS IN FACT, JEANNE, THAT ALSO SAYS “No need to bow like that Comte, aren't you the one always saying we're family?" AND WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS IN A PUDDLE OF TEARS?????? I WILL NEVER BE OKAY. POOR COMTE WAS SO MOVED AND MY HEART CAN’T TAKE HAVING THIS KNOWLEDGE WHERE’S MY HANKIE. JEANNE. BEING THE ONE. TO SAY. “Aren’t we family?” WHEN HEARING HOW HARD COMTE WAS WORKING TO PROTECT THEM, BC HE 100% IDENTIFIES WITH THE STRUGGLE OF LOOKING AFTER PEOPLE THAT DON’T KNOW/CARE THAT SOMEBODY ELSE IS THE SACRIFICE FOR THEIR PEACE OF MIND. I--

WHAT IS IT THAT JEANNE AND COMTE SHARE TO THE CORE, SO MUCH THAT JEANNE WOULD NEED NO OTHER EXPLANATION TO CHANGE HIS MIND AFTER YEARS OF BITTER DISDAIN???????? THEIR CAPACITY FOR DEVOTION, THEIR EASY WILLINGNESS TO SACRIFICE ANYTHING TO PROTECT A LIFE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS EPIPHANY IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME

I’m crying rn I just: Comte: !!!!!!! Somebody who gets it!!! :DDD Jeanne: die. Comte:  Comte: ;-; understandable have a nice day

[thegeminisage]

SUPERNATURAL SPOILERS RECAP because you can ALWAYS trust me to let you know what’s going on this show long after youve stopped watching it ok here we go spoilers under the cut obvs

so dean, sam, and cas are attempting to kill god and amara this season (she’s god’s twin sister, the “yin to his yang,” that was their problematic phrasing not mine, u can’t kill one unless u kill both)

anyway in order to do that they need to turn jack into a bomb - jack is lucifer’s biological son but they all adopted him and he was cool but then he lost his soul and killed mary winchester so now we hate him. fuck it. make his ass a bomb

anyway they had to go see THE adam and get one of his ribs. he’s like a stoner hippie dude who hates god because god abandoned the earth. he was cool actually and more importantly he was brown

anyway sam and cas aren’t down with jack dying so they were looking for another way and dean is like “lol u killed my mom die bitch”

the reason they’re using jack to do this is because death (now billie, who was formerly a reaper, and she’s super cool and super hot and has no tolerance for winchesters) has a library full of books that says how everyone dies, including god, and this was written in his book. so sam wants to read the book and he sneaks into death's library (???) but death isn’t there. you know who is there?

RACHEL!!!!!!!

MINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY GIIIIIRRRLLLL

rachel miner is not playing meg, she is playing “the empty,” a personification of the “nothing after death.” anyway she’s so beautiful and wonderful and i missed her so much and she tortures sam a little and acts just like meg and she also tells sam that if jack kills god and amara then billie will become the new god and i guess this is a bad thing??

so sam takes the book and bolts and dean is like rushing jack down to the bunker where god and amara are trapped and sam is like NOOOO DONT

and dean was like sam im doing this because i felt like i havent even been alive until now because gods just controlled everything i cant take it hes gotta die

and sam wouldnt move and then dean GOT OUT HIS GUN??? HE POINTED IT DIRECTLY AT SAM’S CHEST???

and sam like tried to wrestle the gun away but dean punched him in the face and sam actually like JUMPED HIM to try and stop him but dean headbutted him off and of all people castiel was the one to be like wait sam why are you saying dont go and sam explained

and dean was like i dont give a fuck if billie becomes god id kill literally anyone id trade anyone to make chuck dead 

and sam put on his lil puppy eyes and he was like...what about me would u trade me :(

and then sam starts CRYING wait im gonna transcribe this speech fully

dean (who is near tears and shouting and also waving around the gun in his hand): chuck has to die. he has to! otherwise he’ll keep us tap-dancing forever. and i can’t live like that, man! i can’t live like that, i won’t!

sam (who has a bloody nose from where dean literally punched his face and head-butted him): i know you feel like that right now, okay? i know you do. but you gotta trust me.

(long beat where dean’s chin trembles)

sam: my entire life...you’ve protected me.

(dean lets out this incredible wonderful wordless harsh breath and turns away because he literally can’t hear this)

sam: from dad...

(dean turns back around to glare at sam in defiance like how dare u be bringing up dad right here & now)

sam: from lucifer...from everything. (he starts to tear up) and i didn’t always like it, you know? but... (he like really gets going crying for real now. they’re like running down his face.) it’s the one thing, in the whole world, that i could always count on. 

(dean starts welling up. sam nods and gives this really helpless resigned little shrug and half-smiles)

sam: it’s the one thing i’ve ever known that was true. (another long beat, long tearful glances) so please...put the gun away. just put it away.

(dean looks down at the gun like he’s surprised it’s even there)

sam (still weeping): and we’ll figure it out, dean, we’ll find another way, you and me. we always do.

(cue perfect tear from dean that doesnt quite fall. he puts the gun back in his coat)

^ that was the part that made me cry a little bit lmfao

uhhh and then god absorbed amara i guess which in any other episode would have made me REALLY mad and she deserved better 

and then he came in and yelled at all of them for not fighting each other like he wanted

and he said “oh castiel, self-hating angel of thursday. you know what every other version of u did after’gripping him tight and raising him from perdition’? WHAT THEY WERE TOLD.but NOOOT YOU. not the one off the like with a CRACK in his chassis.”

and then he was like “haha now jack’s gonna explode for no good reason bc u guys missed your shot” and the episode ended

anyway rachel miner. rachel miner rachel miner rachel miner. the entire first half of her scene i was just laughing maniacally and talking about how great she looks and how much i missed her. ugh i cant believe we get to win in 2020

oh yeah and a shot in the trailer for next week’s ep looked like this:

>:)

[lettersandinkstains]

🌼💐💠🍁 // & have a bunch of hearts too, bc u deserve 'em!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

hrjhfjdkhds you are so sweet, Livvy!!

🌼 Your OCs are delightfully multidimensional. Do you have any tips for writers who’re trying to give their characters more depth?

A few things:

People watch. Like, 100%. This can help you figure out how people naturally talk (since we don’t always talk in a formal type of english, ya know?), and transcribe what the people near you are saying and add in description of how they’re sitting / standing, how they’re holding themself. Etc. You could also write a story about this person -- make up what you think their life is like outside of the brief moment you have with them.

Nothing is black and white. Your characters, even if they’re great heroes of far away lands and beat up bad guys and save the princess, need flaws. Nobody is ever 100% morally pure. Your hero could tell little white lies, or maybe they’re bad at cleanliness. People can also easily be contradictory and be someone else, depending on who they’re with. Hell, they could always be late to meetings or dates. Give them flaws, give them ideologies you may not agree with.

Put them in difficult situations. Sure, you control the characters because you’re the author -- however, you can develop your characters very easily if they’re met with a hard situation. For example, Zephyr kills the queen at the end of So Said the King, this goes against Ayathia’s pacifist beliefs and their own morals -- for Zeph, this affects them throughout the second book, added on keeping it a secret from Sage. This causes them to develop a little bit of a guilt complex, and they have to work through it and work up to telling Sage of what they did. (tl;dr: figure out how your character will develop in the situation).

Going from difficult situations to let your characters experience the consequences of their actions. Nothing says character development and character depth is them learning and suffering from the consequence of their actions. Bojack Horseman, as flawed as the show is, does a super good job of this. Your character lied about something important, okay. Let them eventually get caught. What happens?

Give them interests outside of the plot. My character, Lucija, loves to knit and sew. She’s also involved in LGBT+ rights in her country because they affect her as a person. Zephyr, while a prinxe and is supposed to inherit the throne one day, loves the sea and sailing. When it’s plot relevant or when you can, explore these interests. Let us see what else makes your characters excited (but don’t forget you have a story to write!).

Psychology. Okay, this one might be frustrating or boring or might not apply. When your character faces a traumatic event, they might not come out of it very mentally healthy. They might feel guilty for a long time (especially if this is a story where they’ve killed someone for the first time), they might suffer from depression. Explore their brain, explore how they react to these things. Let it become part of the plot in some way. For example, Aston killed his stepfather pre-story, this is something that follows him throughout, and is one of his driving motives (he needs money to pay for his little sister). He struggles with the guilt that came with killing his stepfather and not being able to protect his mother as a child. Aleks struggles with the fact she was bitten by a vampire.

Let their interests vary from yours.

Uhh. I think that’s it?? I’m sure there’s more, but that’s basically what I do!!

(everything else is under the read more because this got long)

💐 Your works are remarkably different from each other. How do you develop concepts that are so independently unique, especially when you have multiple WIPs?

I...don’t know, to be honest. I listen to a lot of music, which influences my stories. Glass Walls came from a dream and then for it, I tend to listen to a lot of punk bands such as Anti Flag and Rise Against (and also, political science major, which also influences the story lol).

I usually worry they all sound the same hfdjks

💠 Your writing style is easy-to-read and accessible yet intellectually rigorous. How did you teach yourself to strike this balance?

Spite. In all honesty, I hate long winded, giant paragraph stories that detail too much (Tolkien, ily but ugghhhh). Also a lot of practice. While my short stories are always shown at first draft, a lot of my other stuff, I do go in and edit and add or remove information that I feel is too much or too boring.

I also live off of feedback from my friends. It nourishes me.

🍁 Your use of sensory details makes me feel fully immersed in your writing. What wisdom can you give to writers who wish to do the same?

Practice! Play with words! Sometimes think, “How would I feel in this situation?” and describe it. Practice describing what you feel in certain moments, such as intense excitement, sadness, content, etc. And describe your surroundings too.

Like what I see out my window right now:

“The night floods the sky, and the orange lights from buildings casts soft orange glows and long shadows. The bikes are locked up and put away for the night, and dark outlines if people move quickly in the biting cold to get inside. The orange leaves sit on brown grass...”

Don’t be afraid for simplicity, because sometimes, simplicity is better than long windedness. Sometimes, you just feel happy or sad, those are different states of mind than elation and depression. 

But all in all, practice and play around. I think a thesaurus is okay to an extent but remember, English is a funny language where just because a word is in the same family, does not mean it’ll convey what you want it to convey and could very much have a different meaning.