#under the bus instead if you ever say something even remotely close to negative about her or arent extremely thoughtful about showing up

[13eyond13]

.

[miraculouscontent]

kndjnkdjg thank you for the compliment, second anon!

Anyway, this was strike two:

“Marinette! Someone’s here to see you!”

Marinette’s raised a brow, then spun her seat around as she stared blankly at the trapdoor leading downstairs.

She knew that tone. She knew who Sabine had seen at the door.

But… what would Adrien be doing here? It wasn’t as if he’d explicitly avoided her since the big argument over the Oblivio kiss, but to say they talked in any meaningful way since then was laughable.

Nonetheless, Marinette was nothing if not polite… when she was able to be, anyway. Thus, she got up and opened her trapdoor, slipping down the stairs where Sabine and Adrien were waiting.

Marinette could only stare blankly at him. There was still that sparkle around him, and it still felt as if her heart was pulling her in his direction, yet it was a ways away from her original feelings.

“Hey, Adrien,” she greeted as nicely as she could, even if it sounded a bit stiff.

“Hi, Marinette!” he greeted in return, smiling.

Marinette eyed him. Something was off, but she couldn’t pinpoint what. It just seemed as if he’d been sent here on a mission.

Sabine giggled. “I’ll leave you alone to talk,” she said, giving Marinette a grin before leaving the room.

Marinette wasn’t going to bother telling Sabine that she had other things to do. After all, Adrien didn’t often go out of his way to spend time with her, so it seemed like a waste not to take advantage of the opportunity.

She searched the room, then gestured to the nearby couch. Adrien nodded and they went to take a seat there.

Marinette shifted. Her comfy couch felt uncomfortable suddenly. “Um… how have you been?”

“Good! I’ve been good,” Adrien replied a little too quickly.

The atmosphere was noticeably awkward.  Marinette had thought long and hard about her feelings for Adrien since the argument, and not all of it was pleasant. Needless to say, she was hesitant to speak up about anything specific.

She avoided his gaze. Was it wrong to still be upset about what he’d said? Adrien certainly wasn’t a malicious type, but–

“So…” Adrien began, leaning close. “…does Ladybug ever talk to you?”

Marinette stiffened, then whipped her head around to look at him. “Wait. What?”

“Ladybug,” Adrien repeated, less awkward than before. “You run her blog, right? Does she visit you, or do you just do it all on your own? I just figured I’d ask since… y’know, you told everyone.”

Marinette could only blink in response. The silence even stretched on for so long that Adrien began to look at her weirdly.

Finally, Marinette managed a sentence. “Is…is that why you came here?”

“No!” he answered, shaking his head. He hesitated, then added, “I was just… worried about you, after everything that happened.”

Marinette could only wonder what “everything that happened” was referring to. Nothing recently had happened to affect her negatively or cause her to storm out, and if Adrien had meant the argument about the Oblivio kiss, he was very late to try and comfort her.

At the same time though, Marinette didn’t think he was lying. Maybe he genuinely believed that he’d come to check on her?

It was just too obvious that it wasn’t the only reason he’d come.

“What about Lila?” Marinette asked. “I outted her. Aren’t you mad?”

She saw a flash of emotion in his eyes. It wasn’t clear if he was angry or not, but the mention of outting Lila had clearly brought up some sort of bad feeling.

“I-I mean…” He paused, looking at her a bit skeptically. “It was an accident… right?”

“…Yeah.” She’d been half-tempted to lie. “I didn’t know that she was lying about that.”

Adrien looked relieved at that. Marinette wasn’t surprised, as it seemed very typical of him to worry about that sort of thing.

Nevertheless, she wanted to be honest, and added, “…But I still would’ve corrected her if I’d known. Ladybug and I both agreed on revealing me.”

Adrien suddenly looked on alert, leaning forward again and placing a hand on hers. “So you talk then?”

Marinette reeled back at the closeness, then stared down at his hand on hers. She couldn’t tell what was stronger: the butterflies in her stomach, or the urge to pull her hand away.

Nevertheless, she met his gaze. “We’re not really friends, but we have to talk for the blog’s sake.”

Adrien’s gaze wavered. “Do you… talk about me?”

“You?” Marinette asked, now completely confused. “Why–wha–no? Why would we?”

“Well, it’s just–” He looked away. “Alya told me that you said you took down all those pictures of me in your room, so I thought you might’ve…”

Marinette blinked. “What? Adrien, that had nothing to do with you, I–” She paused, then shook her head. “Wait, that’s not even relevant. I wouldn’t talk about you to Ladybug! Why would I even do that?”

“But you said you would’ve outted Lila if you knew, so wouldn’t you talk about anyone that you think did something wrong?” he asked.

She didn’t think he even remotely understood that those weren’t the same things.

“If this about Lila,” he began, “I’m sorry, I meant what I said about exposing her! Everyone’s been mad at her since Ladybug said that you were the creator of LadyBugOut!”

Marinette was still processing the fact that Adrien had honestly considered the possibility that she would talk about him to Ladybug, but the mention of their conversation about Lila had doubly confused her.

“Um… yeah?” she replied, because of course everyone was mad at Lila.

Adrien recoiled, his hand leaving Marinette’s. He looked absolutely stunned. "How could you say that, Marinette?“ he asked.

”…Because it’s true?“ Marinette still had no idea where he was going with this.

"Don’t you feel bad for her?” Adrien asked insistently, grabbing one of her hands as if he was desperate for her to agree with him. “Being mocked isn’t going to make her better!”

Marinette blinked. That was his concern now? After all this time, he was still worried about Lila?

After all the lies Lila had told, to him and everyone else?

After she’d been akumatized multiple times over her own lies and mistakes?

After trying to save herself and gain pity by throwing everyone’s “everyday Ladybug” under the bus instead?

Marinette stared at Adrien for a long moment, then said impassively, “Tough.”

“M-marinette!” Adrien said in shock, clearly not expecting her to be so blunt.

Marinette used her free hand to gently remove his hand from hers, then stood up. “This isn’t about making anyone nice. Lila’s just being punished for what she did. Whether she learns from them or not, consequences are consequences, and I’m glad people are wising up to her now.”

She puffed out her chest, a resolve building inside her. “And when Hawk Moth gets taken down, the same thing will happen to him. It doesn’t matter if he’ll ever learn what he did wrong or try to improve. He has to pay for what he did.”

She paused, realizing that she was getting worked up, then took a breath. Calming herself, she relaxed her shoulders and faced Adrien with a neutral expression.

“Now, anyway, I have to check on the blog. Should’ve been doing it already actually. I’ll see you later.” She began walking, heading for the staircase leading back up to her room.

“But–wait–”

Without turning, Marinette said, “I think you should go.”

Their conversation was over. She wasn’t interested in pursuing it further.

Heading up to her room, Marinette silently closed the trapdoor behind her. Tikki flew out, looking at Marinette with concern.

“Are you okay?”

Marinette glanced at Tikki, not responding at first.

Then, she smiled, genuinely and sweetly. “Yeah, I am. Way better than you’d think.”

She stretched, then happily went over to her computer. “Now let’s do some blog work!”

[sage-nebula]

To be frank, the only thing that scares me about a Vanderwood route is that they might make Saeyoung more obnoxious or exaggerate his negative character traits in order to make Vanderwood look good (Like Zen in Jumin's route and Jumin in Jaehee's route)

I mean, knowing Cheritz and their writing, that’s not outside the realm of possibility. However, I don’t think it’s needed, particularly since Vanderwood taking care of Saeyoung the way he does (and indeed, as I realized tonight, playing a rather big role in developing Saeyoung’s view of his life as an agent, albeit that’s not a very positive thing, but it’s something they both need to heal from) is one of the things that adds a sympathetic side to his character.

What I mean by that is, Vanderwood and Saeyoung have been together for a long time. I realized tonight when I double-checked that there’s actually a good possibility that it could have been longer than four years. I think I assumed they met when Saeyoung was eighteen because Vanderwood mentions that Saeyoung was already in university. However:

Saeyoung seems to have been out of university for some time by the start of the game, and he’s twenty-two. Twenty-two is when most people are finishing up their senior year. For Saeyoung to already have his degree (and from an Ivy League, no less!!), that means that he probably graduated early . . . which would mean that he entered university earlier than most as well.

Saeyoung is a literal genius, which backs up point one.

So it’s possible that Saeyoung was even younger when they met, particularly since Vanderwood says that he was a new agent when he was assigned to be Saeyoung’s manager. (He says, specifically, “a new agent, too,” meaning “also,” which would imply that this is when Saeyoung started . . . but Saeyoung left for the agency when he was twelve. I highly doubt he entered university when he was twelve (they might have bumped him up to high school, though), so perhaps they met when Saeyoung was around sixteen? I’m not sure.) This is relevant, because it means that even though Saeyoung has considered V to be his father ever since he agreed to leave for the agency, it’s Vanderwood that has actually been physically present to look after him.

And this is a big deal, because we know---we see---that Vanderwood really does take care of him, and feels responsibility for him. All these years later, Vanderwood still remembers that Saeyoung was sleeping less than three hours per night during his university days. He says that Saeyoung was “even worse” when he was “an OCD perfectionist” who completed all of his university coursework and his agency coursework while not sleeping hardly at all (and presumably not eating a lot, either). By saying that, Vanderwood is telling us (without spelling it out) that it bothered him to see Saeyoung, a teenager, so robotic and dedicated to his work that he wasn’t taking care of himself. Additionally, he was paying close enough attention to know Saeyoung’s hobbies (“he always read a lot”), and enough attention to pinpoint exactly when Saeyoung started to loosen up (when he received the picture book). He didn’t just manage Saeyoung’s work; he also paid attention to Saeyoung as a person.

And we see this in the present day. Vanderwood cuts Saeyoung’s hair. He might complain about it, but he still does clean Saeyoung’s house so that Saeyoung isn’t living among germs and filth. He feeds him, too; we know that Saeyoung tries to just live off Honey Buddha Chips and Ph.D Pepper (his depression meals), but Vanderwood flat out says that he feeds Saeyoung, which means that the rare times we see Saeyoung mention that he’s eating a burger or those fish-shaped breads, who do you think brought those to him? Vanderwood, no doubt. It was Vanderwood, doing his damnedest to make sure Saeyoung ate something at least halfway decent. And when Vanderwood makes an empty threat of throwing Saeyoung under the agency bus so that he can save himself, and Saeyoung says, “yeah, go ahead,” Vanderwood gets very upset and says, “Excuse me?!” The minute Saeyoung says something remotely suicidal, Vanderwood gets upset. He was making an empty threat, he was teasing, but Saeyoung responded with what sounded like suicidal seriousness and Vanderwood himself got seriously upset in .01 seconds flat. Even before it’s spelled out to us that Vanderwood doesn’t want to see Saeyoung die by him saying that it would “ruin his life” to see just that in Secret Ending 1, we see Vanderwood grow incredibly upset in Saeyoung’s Route when Saeyoung tells Vanderwood to go ahead, turn him in, and get him killed. The idea of Saeyoung dying is one that Vanderwood is not even remotely comfortable with, not even as a joke.

And it’s not just that. Though Vanderwood has to unleash tough love on Saeyoung and remind him of the very real and present danger they are in to try to get him to work, he is lenient with him. He tells Saeyoung to take a break while he (Vanderwood) makes coffee for him, despite how Saeyoung had already blown off an entire day’s worth of work. Right before Saeyoung leaves to go save MC, Vanderwood is on the phone with their boss, and he advocates on Saeyoung’s behalf, lying about Saeyoung having been sick, asking for at least one more day, et cetera. Though he does agree to take Saeyoung in for conditioning as soon as the mission is over (which he himself says is “real torture”), the way that he reminded their boss what a skilled agent Saeyoung is makes it sound an awful lot like he was opting for the torture /conditioning over death. Like, “he’ll be tortured and reprogrammed, but at least he won’t be dead.” Which is not great, obviously, but Vanderwood has also been pretty screwed by the agency. The philosophies that Vanderwood has helped drill into his head (not deserving of friends and family, agents are ticking time bombs, we can’t have people close to us or they’ll be caught in the blast radius, this job is filthy, et cetera) are ones that Vanderwood also applies to himself. He’s not just putting Saeyoung down by saying those things. He’s offering what is, in his mind, tough love, because he feels that, as agents, neither of them have the “luxury” of friends, family, et cetera. He believes that about himself, too. And on that note, he actually allows Saeyoung more of a luxury than what he has, given that he knows about RFA and has chosen to be Saeyoung’s secret keeper with regards to it, because he feels bad given that Saeyoung became an agent at such a young age. He knows that Saeyoung is happier (comparatively) with RFA, and so he keeps it a secret for Saeyoung’s sake.

What I’m trying to get at here is that, particularly given how little we know about Vanderwood, the amount to which he cares about and cares for Saeyoung is a very humanizing aspect of his character. It’s part of what makes him so sympathetic, so endearing. Whereas he could have just been a cold agency taskmaster who tortures Saeyoung and doesn’t give a damn about him (and in that way would be a two-dimensional antagonist a la Echo Girl or Sarah Choi), Vanderwood is instead someone who earnestly and sincerely cares about Saeyoung. He does have to act as an antagonist in Saeyoung’s Route, yes, but he’s a reluctant antagonist. The fact that he’s a reluctant antagonist is even spelled out when he flat out says, “Are you really going to make me the bad guy?” while trying to get Saeyoung to do his work. He doesn’t want to be rough with Saeyoung, and he certainly doesn’t want to hurt him. Hell, he’s been doing his level best to help this kid with severe chronic depression, anxiety, and C-PTSD for the entire duration of the time they’ve known each other. He cleans his house, feeds him halfway decent meals, tries to encourage him, is bothered when he doesn’t sleep, cuts his hair, immediately comes down hard on spoken suicidal ideation, does everything he can to keep Saeyoung alive in the Secret Endings, et cetera. He cares, he very clearly cares, and this is one of his most shining character traits.

And I point all of this out to say that they don’t need to twist or ruin Saeyoung’s character in order to make Vanderwood look sympathetic, because Vanderwood already looks sympathetic just given what we’ve seen of him in Saeyoung’s Route / the Secret Endings---and, to be honest, V’s Route as well, given that Saeyoung was able to call him out to the cabin and get him to help a lot, even though Vanderwood didn’t know any of these people and felt very locked out of the loop.

Vanderwood isn’t a likable character because he’s constantly hassled and harried by an annoying 707. Vanderwood is a likable character because he genuinely cares about and for someone who has no one else to take care of him. Saeyoung left for the agency when he was about twelve; he was a child. Vanderwood recognized how young he was (hell, that’s why Vanderwood was assigned to him), and felt for him. And if you think about it, Saeyoung is the closest Vanderwood has to friends or family. Vanderwood reminds Saeyoung over and over that, as agents, they are not allowed to have friends or family. He keeps quiet about Saeyoung with the RFA because he feels bad for him, having been an agent for so long, but given that Vanderwood does firmly believe in the “no friends or family” rule, we can rest assured that he’s not keeping quiet about any friends or family himself. This means that Saeyoung is the closest he has to either. And this means that portraying Saeyoung as some terrible person who only brings Vanderwood grief would severely diminish part of Vanderwood’s character, because we can see very plainly that he does genuinely care about Saeyoung, enough to say that it would ruin his life to see Saeyoung die, and that he enjoys bantering and snarking with him, and that Saeyoung is probably the closest thing to family that Vanderwood has (and definitely his only friend). Showing Saeyoung as an antagonist would run contrary to all of that. It would ruin what is probably the biggest likability point that Vanderwood has at the moment. Cheritz could do it, god knows they’ve proven they can be illogical before (and tbh they already kind of ruined their relationship in Another Story by fucking up why and when they met), but they’d have no reason to considering the fact that “Vanderwood really cares about Saeyoung” is one of the main reasons why fans have to like him at the moment.

So in all honesty, I’m not too worried about that. If anything, I feel that we’d just get to see a lot more of the hardships that Saeyoung has gone through in the agency. We’d get a much closer look at his depression (both in how he was as an “OCD perfectionist,” and how he is now on his worse days), and at how Vanderwood takes care of him. We’d probably also get backstory on the family and/or friends that Vanderwood left behind when he became an agent, which is backstory that I would not mind learning.

All in all, I think more good than harm would come from this, though I guess we’d have to wait and see.

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars    Episode 10

        Lair of Grievous

An interesting     episode title

 For sure

 [Quote]

  Most powerful is he who controls      his own power

I really    Like       This      Quote

Being a fan of ... accountability

Notably

“Vice      Gunroy

   Escapes,”

Ahhhhh

   I mean?

 The        Episode      Before       Was      (Marginally)         Better        ....         

   To         It’s    Pre      de   cessor

 Why     do       I         Get        The         Feeling             This          Is        Gonna           Be           A         Long        Run..?

    Any       way

    That’s         Going

    Only       that         one         Guy

    No...       -Body         Else

   Uhm

  Kit        Fisto

  What?!

  Okay

 Guess

   His      design        Looks           Neat

    And          No         Ahsoka!       (The         Bad       Parts.)

“Gun-”

 “And     Return    Him       Just-”

Ena     bling!      Where       he’ll      be     put        in      a     cell       with   other     inmates   that   don’t    deserve     that

And       a     distraction      from   reckoning       with       the     consequences       of     his     actions

(And    the     hope     of     getting      out)

“ I know we’re in the middle of     nowhere,”

 I like this   guy

He sounds cool

Has a personality

(An over involved        one?”

But generally good

This might help my     nerves     after     last     episode

Very     chill

Nice

- Oh spoke     too     soon

So has your old Padawan       Dolved

???

Seriously, does everyone keep track of everyone else’s       Padawan

Obi-Wan, it made sense because he’s an   over involved       dick

But, seriously

Shouldn’t that     be   left    To   Yoda as the grand high   Jedi?

He is the guy that okay’s these requests, right?

It’ll   be   great   to   see   Nadar   again

Dude,     he’s   busy

“ i’ll   transmit      the   coordinates      for      the     ren      dez      vous     point,”

Hey     they   got   Ahsoka right!

Maybe     this     episode     won’t   be     a     headache

(Also they just casually    help him      stalk    his apprentice?

 Like,     that   should     be     his   choice

Like yeah  two heads are better than one but that doesn’t mean he agrees   to be a two- headed dragon

Dick   move

And-       It’s    Gone        (to be fair,       it’s only       slightly         too     much         Tone         Than      Ne    cess     ary

“Yet,”

  No

“Good hunting”

  NO!

Well....         It’s       Over,

Okay....

Nice     backgrounds,

This is a really neat   land

Oh, now     they’re     landing

Oh,     cool

Fog     -gy

Neat

Po   -or     Be     -epy              Ro      -bot

 He   can’t     see     any       -thing

“you’ll     be    fine      R6,”

You   have   legs

Not   pleas   ed

Hav   ing         A               Good      Time

“Nadar,”

*Bows*

Dear   frick   who   invited   him   here?

Like,     Dude

Even     if     the     Gen   shares     the   same   inspiration     as   you,       you   still   have     to     obey         by    the   rules     of       tox

 Aka   you   don’t     get     to   be    a   dick   just   because     it’s      a     differ     ent      gen

You   get   kicked       to     the   accoun   -t- ability     curve,         just      as   well

Walk                Ing        into            Some’s      bus    -i      ness      un   warrant   ed    And   un    -ask-      ed     For     Is      Tox

  And     then,           to    follow       it      up,      with       hey          you        did        well       on the           test          we make         you        take!”

    To     prove        we     can’t     assume    authority        over      you

 [Jedi   master     ship         I     believe]

  I’m surprised dude doesn’t say      ‘yeah       your     stupid   club         sucks,”

 “ i’m     sorry        the      war    pre      -vented     me       from   seeing     your      train    ing   through     to    the   end”]

wait   dude’s        Mentor     bitched    out     and      he      still      had       to      take         the         test?!

Murder      is       now      on      the      table!*

   Note; this is a joke

    I   never   advocate   death   over   account   ability

But, geez       Dude got     screwed      over

   You     were      missed    master

 How    old       is     he?

 I’m   going    with   adult-

Knight     Ok      he    has   enthusiasm   

We’re   all   good!

Then    let’s    have     a     look

Allow       me     to     show        the     way

Trans   lation;      Stop    ass    um      ing    

au     tho  rity

Good     for      him

Pretty    pow.

Also   yeah   just   casually   found

“Charming,”

That’s      a   back   -handed   compliment

Like   calling   something   “quaint”

 Dude     if     you’re   going   to      be    on          this             Quest,        Be      Nice,

 Look   after    the   ships

Oh     those     poor      guys

What       happens     to them?

  [Also     ships?]

Okay

 So,     Sith     mon     astery

No      Guards

It’s a Sith   mon    as     tery     surrounded   by     fog

Clearly       they      were      going       for      stealth

[And     it       Is    pretty      re       mote]

The   ent       rance     looks   sealed

 Yeah      It’s    Old

Possibly     -came in the      back    entrance

 And hoped       no one     wou ld    suspect

[We   specialize     in   ma   king   entrances]

Should     n’t     Dude          (Jedi)     Know       That

  Their,       Jedi

   Also        yeah       the      place     clearly      built       for    stealth

    Let’s       bomb       open        the       front       door

     Not        like        they         could       sneak        out            a          back          way

     This           will        make         less         noise

      Thank            you      common          sense

       But,              It           will            still             allow           them                 a              lot              of             time               To              Es              cape

          Like;    

This why staking out is     important

Patience     the both        of you

 THE      NERVE!

  Dude       he got here         First!

   You        wanna         help?

  Be     back up!

 “ A second look     usually      pays       off,”

   On hand,     yes- scouting      ahead       is      good

  On the    other-

   DICK           way        of        put      ting       it

   You      want        to        explore?

    Do          it      your        self

  You      just     assu      med       author        ity       over        a  wh-          ole      group          of      people

      Stopping             them              from             doing              their              thing

[I’m     fully       expec        -ting        him         to       snap          at         five

Like he’s being   pretty   enab-     ling

But   Dude’s       being         a      prick

  [pla  -ying by the        rule of      “But,”         Inst         ead         Of       “Or,”           Or        “And,”

   During          their      re    latively       func   -tional   mission

[dude     never     said      he    couldn’t      blow      up        the        mon     astery

  Just    stated         the fact         and        went        about          his           biz

A nice     factor

 “What’s       this,”

    A      stone

   Bull         -shit

 Whelp

   Smug        Ass

    You        smell         that?

 Arro   gance?

[let him     get    caught     in     a      trap]

“ smells        like     droids,”

 Metal      Does      -

 It’s     too dark to see      anything

   There’s       white       bulbs

Also     [Forgot to     mention],      Chek       Ov’s         Gun?

[For     the    Gun]

 Whelp

  They          Have        Lights

 [Also,            Dark       side      shadowing]

   Whelp

    Hey         at least        there’s not as much point

     Whelp

[I sense     there’s something     here]

 Yeah?!

 Was          that       not          the whole point?

 Whelp,

 A rusted     out      old      factory

   Whelp

    Poss-          Ibly

    Watch-           Ing

    “Ssh,”

      You         sure        about         that?

    Whelp

  “Well     that was   some thing,”

   Jedi,         you gonna            do anything      about that?

    Whelp

    Dude          Taking         point

     Aga       -in

   Whelp

 Ordering      someone else’s     troops

  [I seriously hope        that       comes to bite him         in the ass]

     Roger          Roger

     Crud         it’s the moon                             clones!

No,      just droids up the stairs

Neat

They     don’t see     that?

 Whelp

 Vice   Roy

What’s    going          on

  They     robots;      they’re        already     designed      to protect     you

Also;        BAIT!

The Jedi        are here

 Trap!

Also they’re     walking         side-by-side      Nice

 That’s     totally        someone      else     I       call        it

 “ I know       they’re             near,”

    Voice    recording?

    Whelp

    They’re          right       behind         you

    What,       where        do   something?

 Def       -initely       a   diff      -erent   per   -son

Whelp

Taking    longer     than     expect     (ing)

“ Have      you ever killed a Jedi?”

 These    guys have time for    this

When   fighting to fully trained adult       Jedi

BS

Those basic      clankers

There the  basic mooks   that gets mowed down   in the hundreds

Bs

Good   Commentary

Bad     timing

Oh   now   it speeds   up

Good for   them

They   were   loo   -king   pretty   lame

 Whelp

Stop   playing    with     them!

Republic     Dogs

Restraint

Shut    the     fuck      up

  It took hours

 Because

“restr       aint,”

Against    

Mach      inery

 “ i’m   sorry     master,”

Don’t   apologize

  He’s     being       a     prick

  Like      even       by      my     stan-      dards

  [ignor-         ing        the       war]

     He      turned        a fun       exercise       again        st        machinery     boring

       By           micro         managing          every           one

    -carried         Away

     This          -dick

      Those that have power       should restrain themselves          from using it

     Against         machines?

       Dude....

      I stick pretty closely to one          moral code

       And there was nothing even remotely     reprehensible

       About           That           Deal

      Yeah,        if they were sentient

       But, they act just like normal   robots               Running on         prot      ocol           Alone

    Giv         ing        no       hint          to       sen     tience

    Your complaint        literally         comes          down

    To        chopping them into          one           or more pieces

        That’s            extremely              overcontrolling          and              overbearing

        Not to mention to       reprimand        someone....

       Dick            Move 

      That’s          the         point

    Least        it        had       dark       ened      lighting

 “Lieuten        ant,”

Called    it

  Also     way      to      go     dip shits

  You left a com that can be traced back to your exact location

   Whelp

  Okay...

  The tracking          beacon

   Yeah

They knew   we were coming

 And   didn’t send a trap

Instead sene a thing     that can be traced back to the location

Should’ve known   Gunnery wasn’t here

 No,   you should’ve exercised caution

Well at least he isn’t blaming-

Screaming

Yes   he   would’ve

That    was     the     first     tip    off

Also;     clones?

 I apologize     for the deception

 Bull shit

I apologize for my     colleagues

 -What?

  Dude

Seriously

 How easy are you trying to make it for them to find   you?

Count      Dooku  

Why      Dude?

Oh   Wait   enablers   

Guess   this is their     tea     sess

 Okay    hit us     with        that       snark   

    ....

   Light     Roast

   He   honestly     seems       so       sad

   What

    This          has        got          to            be          a        trap

    No shit

   “Catch         Some          One,”

   No   not the vibe I got

  Also     there’s      the     clone

 Wondered     where      he     went

  “To      Catch,”

  Whelp

  Wow

  What?!

   Well

  Looks      like     someone      likes    creepy      statues  

   (I know       there’s       likely       some       deep        lore)

   Shrine

   Dude this whole place looks like a   monastery/castle?

   You’re just        figuring out        This might be some     ancient     something     or another

 It’s on a foggy     planet,         Huge,       Em-bedding      And   desolute

It basically screams     basic cult

 “Warrior,”

 I was going with   barbarian, but   that   works

Whelp

Weird  

 Juices

Nope        Metal

 Grievous      Cult

This is the lair of   General Grievous

 Are you sure it’s not    a cult?

 Like   I don’t know

But    I wouldn’t keep     Reminders     of how I was        brutally dismembered       Around

  IDK

Maybe I’m just not that    extra

Whelp     Dear     Frick

Back     to    the   thing

Also   yeah   don’t     leave

Get    Rein    force    ments

(I know I roast   Plo   about this all the time)

But    A few more Jedi      Might be useful      Against       a guy      With   multiple   hands

(Or at least     tell them       Your       Lo      cation,         What         a       quick    summary)

  So   they know what they’re getting into   if you disappear under   “mysterious   circumstances,”

Oh, plane

Oh,   Grievous

Looks   like     he’s doing   good for   himself

Seems       happy

Never    mind

Guess where  ignoring that   thing

With     The     Comms

Stale      mate

He   honestly   looks    sad

You   have   lost   your   focus

I mean   so far   he hasn’t   won shit

I’m honestly     surprised   he got it this far

Especially considering you’re the   negative overinvolvement side

Sidious       demands   more     dramatic   results

“ can’t   believe   I came   back    to   working   here,”

More   dead   Jedi

Did    he    kill     a   bitch?

(I would say   good for him          but    death<   Acco untability-)

You   expect   victory     over     Jedi

   Is battle        Droids

   It does    require      a brain

   And     a willingness     to escalate

   Oof

 Seriously,     Just       leave

  Whelp

  These        must be   trophies

  Jedi      he’s   murdered

  Isn’t the str- the Ed-    braid!        Thing       only     for   Padawan’s      Like,        you      don’t      seem        to       have       one

   So yeah       Grievous     probably killed a lot of children

     There    are        so      many

  Maybe      don’t      send     children       to fight       your battles

 Why      Would Dooku        want to set a        trap for his best general

    Minion disposing       Tea?

     Also, why are you      playing         into it?

   Like,         fair enough,           don’t turn down free      Intel

  But,      you could set a trap         and          be doing other things

   Like hunting down     Vice Roy   it doesn’t     make     sense

 “Are       we     the     bait      or      is   grie      -vous     the   -bait,”

Good   question

Definitely grievous though

 He was clearly      offered up      as a   distraction     From   Vice Roy

We    must    consider     who the trap          is for

  Grievous

  You’re      supposed    to     take     him      out

 Your   droid     is   track       ing      an     in       coming      ship

  Here      we     go

Match       es       the   descrip     tion

 Keep     out      of    sight

Whoa   whoa    hold     up

Why    are    they    calling     and     answering      to     you

These     are   Raden’s   troopers

Dude    has   literally   hijacked     his    whole      life

Dude       just     kick     him

 Like   fourth    time    but   ,seriously;

Capturing        him     could      turn      the     tide     of the   war

They’re      literally   handing     him      to you      on a       silver       platter

Dude - needs a break

If      he doesn’t know we’re    here

Instantly down to     do    Dooku’s     Dirty     Work

 “We     need        a      plan,”

  That’s     what      he     just   said

Whelp

That’s   neat

Cool

Mood   lighting   works

Guards

Does he even know what   happened?

Or   did      Sidious/Dooku     set up      this   elaborate      trap     while       he      was      out

   And       he’s      just    coming     home      like;

   Why        is       the     place       so     heckin    trashed

 Whelp

 Dick

 Dude      didn’t sign up for this

  Welcome      home     general

  Half willing to give it to you

 Whelp

*Oh*

Cough        ing

 Don’t     let     him       cut     the     line

Whelp  

  Heck

 He’s       Trying

 “ Don’t make me destroy you,”

 If they try to foreshadow that ear     lier

   No            Bad

   Ter         rible

 Whelp

 Seriously    did they just    reattach his    legs??

 Also,           They really did not bring anything else to capture him   with

 Besides   cables

To      Grab

 And nothing to tie him up   with

How did they    think     this was going to   go?

Argh

Just got     slap   stick        ed

Haha

“Pack     him      up”           ?

  Whelp

  Dude       they      are     just   knocked     out

 Whelp  

 Neat

Walking   a little   funny

Whelp

The clones get in the way

No   you        didn’t         bring   anything      to   restrain    him   with

“Taken     him,”

   Dude he just said       “taken”

   Not like he said    “killed”

   The most objectionable thing he said    in that     was     blaming   the clones   for his failure

  And   clearly    that     isn’t   your   issue

Narrowing  of the eyes was a    good   reaction

(Pretty sure the darkness is     Him putting unwonton pressure   and guilt tripping      (Gas        lighting)

 He’s just too much of a   coward     to say anything     because he can be held     accountable            At the      fifth      thing

 Let’s     tend      to     the   wounded

 Good      job   reflect     ing   mate

Whelp

Docter   where are you?

 Don’t    be upset with me     master

Geez

Dude does need a   break

Even     his     own     lair      is   toxic

Conversation

Rrgh

Look

Aww

Spare       parts

 Off

Body   guards

Remotely   deactivated      for       a    re-charge

Oh   so they weren’t killed

Gosh   dude came back to      A bunch of droids   laying   dead on the ground        Like;

“These.. aren’t. mine,”

Dude      is    having      a    tough     day

 Argh

 Not   good

Good

Lock down the   Perimeter

Good for   him

Whelp

Looks,     Better

Whelp

Watching

Yeah, those guys are dead from   grievous

He wacked  them with metal claws

Those     guys   don’t   have   a   single piercing mark on them

Nor     dented   helmet

Not ready to take on grievous

No one is

Dude has   robotic      arms

It’s time   we   retreated

Make sure to bring something to       restrain him   next time

Whelp

Grievous isn’t doing anything

Good     for him

“ You are    not going anywhere,”

Well, he tried

He WAS   just given          An ultimatum   from his boss

Gotta       stop    caring     about     those      things

“ Guess    we’ll have to fight       after all,”

 Or       blow open the                                door

Or   sizzle     it     open     with   your   light   sticks

 Lots     of   options

Bring      scout

Aight

Whelp     those guys are dead

Also   how did they even find   them?

Okay, that one makes sense because he was parked literally 5 feet from the base

  Fair   Game

Get out of there R6

Good for him

Whelp

That one   guy...

Whelp...

Yet

Good     for     him

 Of

R6

You told him to   leave

Dick

You surprise attack him

Call hypocrite, fair fight

Aaw, he’s   nice

Fair

Whelp

 Shit

Straight to the point

Doom       Man      -sion

Here        we     come

Whelp

Dude with the force       can’t lift one guy

Well 

General

Dude one trap   and you’re ready to call it quits

Lame

We’ve seen the lower levels of your home

No you haven’t

You were on ground level

And you only just saw anything below that   now

“ we’re not impressed,”

Dude speak for   yourself

Also,    fun

 Good     way       to        heal

   “Good, Good, Jedi,”

   This should be entertaining

        - way to heal-

   “You shall provide    sport for me,”

Like;           That

  Whelp

   Good        time            to       entertain          our        guests

        He’s             a           good            host

      Whelp

      Dude          has            a         dinosaur

       And       bots

     Dude         level       spiked          for           a          moment

    Hmm

    Nice

    Oof

    That       sounds     painful

   Armor       Patches

  “Contrary to your belief     I have other things to do,”

       Good              for            him

 He rans    a med channel

 “ go see to it my   repair,”

   Implaments            (?)

*Impale     Ments

   There may be   some discomfort

  But I’m pretty sure   he was already uncomfortable

   Argh

No sedatives

Off

Weak       link

Whelp

Surprised     his  pistol    did anything

Like seriously   even the swords would take   a few   whacks

There we go stabbing it with a sword

Your   knight   instinct

Whelp

And that clown just became the damsel

Whelp

Whelp

Fail

Guess     he’s   dead

 Or   broke     something

Splat noises   are kind of   humorous

So it could just be a   broken   nose

Great

Whelp

Instinct

Grievous is going to pay for this

Dude he made a humorous   “Splat” sound

“Splat”  is not       a     death   sound

   It      is      a     broken     nose   sound

“Destroy      him,”

I understand your pain

No, this is the time to take the kid away from the   bad situation

(Or actually give him the        don’t kill things talk)

   That’s the better option

   (Since he is still an adult and         can make his decision)

“ but you forget your teachings   Nadar,”

Not like that

  That is how you get       hit in the face

But in this war   strength prevails

 He literally   does have a point

  You two survived because of     “superior genetics”

You’ve literally been   hustling him since day one

And revenge is fine   in terms of accountability

 If someone stabs you,      You’re allowed to stab    him back

   Abusers?        Get their        abuse        back

Specifically in Murder

 The dead      isn’t alive     to take revenge

 And while he is right       that accountability is better

  That murder doesn’t   equal murder

   Because of         the belief          That all (human)         Sentient life          Inherently makes       the world better        By the possibility of them        contributing good

    Which is why         I advocate        accountability

     The way         dude is handling it          is shitty

      Firstly; all those present to the body are considered   enablers, if   they      enable     murder

And   everyone     who     sees      the     body       has       to        be          on       high      alert

  And   accountability      on     sight

 Because        if       you     five rules           A       Murder         -er...

  Point being dude should.     shut the fuck up and     help him find this dude

   The rules have changed

  Yes, yes they have

“ perhaps you are the one that has changed,”

  Shut up toxic

     Dick

    Enabling selfish dick

 “ come now,”

   He realized he fucked up

 “ We   need to move    now,”

  There’s         no     saving      that

  Whelp

  Skipped       past       that

   Looks      better

   “Gor,”

    He      named          it

    Oh

   Where       are      they

 Yeah wait what happened with the   doors?

 “Gor...”

 Aww       He     sounds     so    sad

Argh

Oof

That     pissed him off

Incoming     message from Count   Dooku

 Oh,       Good

 The Jedi have infiltrated your Lair

  Damn

 He   really   didn’t     tell     the     man   about   anything

Your   recent   defeats      at    their   hands

  Wow,         Dude can Literally not get a   break

   You just called him    five minutes     ago

 Fuck you

  He looks so       Tired

     And          Done

“Reassess      your    effectiveness,”

  Oh     that’s bound to piss him        off

 That you actively did   that

I’m expecting a face   Heel turn

 “You”

 There      we      go

  “ you   deactivated       my     Guards,”

    Oh....

[I assumed he just    forgot]

“ You let the Jedi      in,”

  No actually   they found a magic brick

  Unless Count Dooku  just so happen       to press    the button           at        the       same       time

Which      if so      nice

  Makes       dude’s overconfidence   even sweeter

“ so you would testing me,”

  Dick

 And he’s starting to look     It

  Oops

He’s pissed now

 Like I know this is     culminating in a fight scene

  But I would just love     if  just walked downstairs.        And was like     yes      I will go with you

 Out     of     Spite

“ i’ll play your little game,”

  In your condition you need your   rest

  I will rest when the Jedi     are dead

 Oh so that’s how they capture   him

 Maybe after he kills the   young one

Sentry

Those robots do     nothing

Whelp

Control      Room

 He’s         Done

Oh,        what do we have    here?

Oh,    this is what he does?

Master      the Jedi are about to enter the control room

  Snarky      little     shit

“Nadar,     get   inside,”

 Yeah,         No

Ahh

Nadar

Cutting       out      the    abuser

  Whelp

Absolutely       can       kick        ass

Surprised       no     one      who   understands   accountability

“Greetings     young      Jedi,”

 Greetings Boomer

“How       Ex       citing,”

   Neat

And   Meta

 Defeat       us       all

You’re one person   but I accept the understanding

  Get him     Master

Oh    he gets to see his apprentice die on the   big screen

Wait, where is the other   Jedi

Where-

Oh no

Self-awareness

 Oww

 But that wouldn’t kill a     determined

Whelp he accepted death

“No,”

Yep, he’d rather die than live in the world   you made

Enabler

(Technically;    Both of you)

 Welp I will kill you all

Do you hear me Jedi

Do you hear me

Fair   game

Enablers       kill   enablers

  No     one   wins

“ R6      is that you?”

How?!

Meet me at the   south landing   platform

I’m coming for you next   Fisto

Whelp, i’ll be   gone by the time you get here

Dick

Whelp

R6, I’m at the platform

Going     somewhere

How?!

But   also OK

Whelp

Hmm

Fan Technique should actually help in the   fog

Whelp

Pawn In Dooku’s game

That power will only   consume you

Like you

Flaunting it

Right now

Unless his battery   gives out...

Whelp

Ok

 Cheating

How   quickly   power      can   switch     hands

  Whelp  Enabled

 Expect      ed

Accom     plishment

 So   there’s   room   improvement

 Oof

“His heart was in the right place,”

  Not      accountability

“ to answer power         with power                 It’s not the Jedi   way,”

      HAHAHaHa

    What’s the title of this     again?

  Star         WARS      The        Clone           WARS

It takes   two to tango

  Feckin hypocrites

  In this WAR

 HAHAha

“ A danger there Is,”

I feel bad    for the   voice actor   that had to say that   with a   straight face

Nailed it   perfectly well

“Oof losing who we are,”

Oh, that scene

 Chills.

  Oh

                I REALLY liked this episode

It was funny   self-aware   and even   had some good moments with the villains

 Also

   They killed a           motherfucking dragon

      *Named              Gore

      * excuse          language

[weekendwarriorblog]

Maybe Movie Theaters Aren’t as “Lethal” as “Experts” Are Telling You?

I was going to write this piece “30-Minute Experiment” style* but then decided to write it offline in case I want to make changes before posting, although this is still mostly being written freeform.  I’ve been dwelling on this stuff for months now, and I’m shocked that others who work in the movie business haven’t made even half the effort I’ve made to try and figure this stuff out. Instead, people seem more interested in making stupid jokes or spout the type of doom and gloom fearmongering to purvey the myth that reopening movie theaters will extensively kill people. Not only is this not true but none of these conversations have been even remotely constructive.

I’m here to say that a lot of what is being said is absolute fucking horseshit.

Besides spending more time in movie theaters than many if not most “experts,” including most of New York’s vast film critic base, I also made the time to take the Johns Hopkins course in contact tracing, mainly so that I could learn more about the spread of COVID and how to prevent or stop it from spreading.  Sure, this is a constantly evolving pandemic where we’re getting new and conflicting information on a weekly and even daily basis, but there are simple premises in place that has made it possible for places like New York to beat it. Frankly, I have no idea why movie theaters have suddenly been deemed the most dangerous place on earth … compared to airplanes, churches, supermarkets, restaurants, etc. etc.

I can understand why reopening movie theaters has not been considered a priority by lawmakers since moviegoing might not seem essential, but right now, we need movies more than ever. If you look at all the craziness in the world right now, and especially in the United States, it’s pretty obvious that people staying at home in quarantine is like shaking a closed bottle of soda pop. Nothing is going to happen at first but eventually you have to open that cap and soda is going to spray everywhere.  In this case, the effects have led to a lot of angry people but also a lot of bad behavior. I won’t go into details but you can see the uptick in violence across the country and wonder if maybe people had the outlet of going to movies.

Before I proceed, I just want to remind anyone reading this that NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO GO TO MOVIE THEATERS!! If you don’t feel safe, don’t go. If you’re a film critic and don’t feel safe enough to go to a press screening of Tenet, don’t worry. There will be plenty of other writers out there who will gladly go and see the movie and write a review and ultimately replace you. There’s plenty of other jobs out there that are far more essential than being a film critic, and most of the film critics I know are so fucking lazy already, that they just want any excuse to sit at home in their bathrobe and slippers watching movies on their giant-screen TV sets. As someone who has reviewed 70 movies since April – you read that right – I’m already sick of watching movies in this less than optimum way and not being able to fully appraise the hard work by filmmakers at their craft. So yeah, I’m partially wanting movie theaters to reopen out of selfishness, but I also think that it can be done safely and in a way that people who need that outlet of  escape can have somewhere to go and something to do, as opposed to what we have now…. NOTHING.

Not Everyone You Encounter Has COVID!

This is important, because there seems to be this underlying myth right now that everyone out on the streets, including those who aren’t wearing masks, are COVID carriers and potential spreaders. This could not be further from the truth, particularly in places like New York and New England where COVID has mostly been kept under control. When testing in New York is showing that around 1% of those tested are positive, that’s basically saying that 1 in 100 people currently has or had COVID, and most of them will have recovered and no longer be infectious in roughly two weeks. I don’t think I’ve been around more than 10 different people TOTAL in the last four months, and before that, I can’t remember the last time I was at a screening with more than 100 people (probably Birds of Prey, which was this big premiere/party fiasco in Times Square – I will not miss these).

If someone gets COVID, they may be carriers but they’re only infectious TWO DAYS before their symptoms show up. This is fact, straight from Johns Hopkins. If someone is in contact with someone with COVID on Thursday, but they don’t have symptoms until the following Thursday, they’re not infectious until Tuesday.  But that also makes them pre-symptomatic since neither you nor they will know that they’re carriers. That is one of the biggest issues with COVID and why everyone needs to wear a mask… but hey, if you get tested today and you test negative for COVID, I’m gonna assume you’re okay, as long as you haven’t been doing stupid shit like going to COVID parties or hanging outside bars jabbering with other people you don’t know. This is how COVID spreads. Not sitting in a movie theater quietly watching a movie and not necessarily interacting with others you don’t know. I mean, who does that anyway?

Social Distancing

One of the key points to fighting the Corona virus has been for people to stay six feet apart from other people and generally isolating themselves from others. A lot of people have readily complied, because frankly they’re scared shitless of getting the virus themselves. Sure, they’ll say that their concerns are about spreading it to others, but it’s just not the greatest thing for everyone to stay isolated and away from other people. I’ll admit it that I’m getting pretty lonely, because I don’t have any friends who live in my general neighborhood, so I’ve not seen any single one of them in person in four months. It really sucks. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to socially distance in a movie theater. In fact, it’s much easier now more than ever since there are reserved seats, and in some theaters, they have the reclining seats which means they’re spaced further apart back-to-front.  There are some issues with doing any sort of barrier or taped-off-seating thing because you have to expect that families or groups of two, three, four or more might all want to sit together, but you’ll still need to space out patrons/groups by two or three seats. On top of that, moviegoers tend to want to sit where they like to sit, so this could end up being somewhat limiting but I have to assume that most theaters won’t be able to be full beyond 25-30% capacity on reopening anyway so there will probably be plenty of space and options. That actually makes me happy, because like most people,  I don’t necessarily want to be seated right on top of some person I don’t know… unless they’re very cute.

Mask Wearing

As we now know, wearing a mask is the most important part of preventing the spread of COVID-19, and except for a few people, that hasn’t been a big issue. More importantly, it really isn’t that big an issue inside movie theaters. While you’re in shared areas like bathrooms and lobbies, masks will have to be mandatory. There’s no reason not to wear a mask there, and it’s not hard to purchase and pick up tickets without having that much contact between employees, who also shouldn’t have a problem wearing masks when dealing with customers. (In fact, there’s far less contact between patrons and employees in movie theaters than restaurants where servers need to keep going back to tables and talk to people eating without masks.)

But honestly, once someone is seated, presuming that they’re more than six feet apart from others, they should be able to take off their masks, drink soda, eat popcorn whatever. It’s not like people are jabbering away while watching movies (at least they shouldn’t be, even without COVID), so I don’t think wearing a mask will be that big of an issue once everyone is settled.

Speaking of which, some of you may realize that I had leukemia back in 2013, and some might realize I got a stem cell transplant in October 2013, which basically reset my immune system to zero. I literally did not have an immune system, and I could have gotten measles or mumps or anything that people are normally vaccinated for as toddlers. I was told that if I got a fever or anything, I would be back in the hospital, so I basically was wearing an N95 mask whenever I was out and around anyone besides my mother (who I was living with at the time). That said, less than 30 days after my transplant, I was back in a VERY crowded theater to see Thor: The Dark World, and I continued to see movies. I’d wear my N95 mask when I went into the theater and once I was seated (usually on an aisle next to someone who I knew wasn’t sick) and I felt comfortable, I would take my mask off to watch the movie. When I returned to New York City in February, I rode the subway everywhere, and I continued going to movies including crowded all-medias, always wearing a mask but taking it off once the movie started. Sure, my situation was very different from how COVID spreads, but it’s a similar concept where anyone can contact COVID since there’s no vaccine. One also has to think that the safety measures being taken (as mentioned above) is helping to quell the infection when the rules are followed, and I see no reason why being in a movie theater, socially distanced from others, is any different than riding the bus or being in a store or anywhere else.

Cleanliness

I’ve seen a few comments online about how “theaters won’t be cleaned properly” because according to them, theaters employee underpaid teenagers who aren’t going to take the proper time and care to clean theaters and other spaces to the standards needed for preventing spread. Again, bearing in mind that not everyone who goes to theater is a carrier and just in general, people don’t walk around movie theaters spitting and spraying everywhere under normal circumstances, this is probably the dumbest reasoning I’ve heard. Experts have also said that more people have gotten COVID from it being airborne than it being on surfaces they touch and then proceed to touch their faces. Surfaces will generally have to be cleaned but I don’t think defaming young people is the stance to take on this matter.

Air Condition vs. Ventilation

This is the biggest question in my mind, and so far, I don’t think any of the “experts” have fully agreed. To be honest, a lot of what has been said is completely contradictory. At first, the reason movie theaters were being considered so dangerous was “because the air conditioning can blow the COVID all around the theater” but then, more recently, it was said that the reason why indoor locations aren’t good is due to the “lack of ventilation.” Those things seem to be polarly opposite to me. Either the air conditioning is blowing the COVID or there is a lack of ventilation and therefore nothing blowing around. There has also been talk about the AC systems needing a certain type of filter that can keep the COVID particles from travelling around or that the AC system needs to draw in fresh air from outside vs. recycling the air from inside, which makes sense if there is anyone positive with COVID inside. (And again, that’s a BIG “If.”)  

Listen, I have been in a lot of movie theaters, both commercial and smaller screening rooms, and I prefer to have some sort of air or ventilation for it to be comfortable. I would rather have air blowing on me and keeping me awake than stale or “dead air” or worse, a warm and unventilated theater. But I also have never been in a theater where the air conditioning  is blowing so hard that it might blow any molecules from out of my mouth into someone else’s mouth or vice versa. I mean, seriously… that’s gross.  

I question this entire line of thinking, because I just don’t think there’s anything in the air in a movie theater that’s any worse than the air in a supermarket, a post office, a subway train, a bus or even a hospital.  If you think about it, most ER waiting rooms in hospitals are so bad that if someone comes in with COVID symptoms, and for some reason, they’re not wearing a mask, they could literally infect every single person in there, going by the theories on why movie theaters are so bad.

The “2 Hour” Rule

This is something that’s come up most recently with China reopening its theaters but only for movies under 2 hours. So apparently, sitting in movie theater for less than 2 hours is MUCH safer than sitting there for 2 hours and one minute or anything longer? This makes little sense since you’re generally sitting in the same place, and the only way that being there less time may be safer is because, sure, there’s less time for you or someone around you to do something stupid. But that whole time, most of you will just be sitting there watching a movie. It’s not like you’re wrestling or singing hymns or doing anything that forces you to come closer into conduct with someone over the course of two hours or longer.

But there’s a really simple way to avoid people sitting in movie theaters too long… just kill the 20 minutes of ads and trailers in front of every movie. I mean, I prefer seeing trailers this way, and I always get to the movie theater earlier to see them, but it’s not really necessary, and it helps to get people in and out faster, if that is such a big concern.

Easy Tracking and Tracing

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, and I’ll keep saying it until I’m blue in the face because PEOPLE DO NOT LISTEN. The key to quelling an outbreak like COVID is through testing, tracking and tracing… plus social distancing, mask-wearing of course… but when someone tests positive for COVID, people need to know immediately who they came into contact with to make sure that they quarantine themselves and don’t spread it further. If someone quarantines for two weeks without symptoms, it’s pretty safe to say they didn’t contract COVID but if they immediately went out and get tested, at least they can quarantine while waiting for the results.

This is the key to why movie theaters are far safer than anyone seems to understand, because it’s far easier to track/trace who went to see a movie in which theater at what time. The person who tests positive for COVID would have to tell the tracer where/when they saw the movie, and then through online and onsite ticket sales, one could figure out who else was in that theater, call them up, see if they have symptoms, make sure they get tested/quarantined, etc.  In fact, with reserved seating, you can determine who was sitting anywhere near the COVID case and you can contact them to see if they have shown any symptoms. One major problem right now is how slowly tests are coming back. These results need to be known within two or three days tops for contact tracing to make a difference, but the point is that movie theaters have so many ways to help in the contact tracing process by knowing more about their patrons (even if that information just sits in a database for two weeks in case it’s needed).

The COVID pandemic has been pretty awful, but getting COVID has not necessarily been a death sentence for roughly 95% of the people who have contracted it, and in some areas (like New York), the infection rate is so low you probably spend more time around people who don’t have COVID and maybe never had COVID then you do those who have contracted the disease. But if you get it, and you’re not over a certain age or have conditions that make it harder to beat, then you’ll just have to deal with it.

I find it more than a little funny and ironic that film critics -- one of the least essential jobs out there -- can't seem to drum up the courage to do their jobs, while nurses, doctors, delivery people, supermarket clerks and millions of other essential workers get up, go out and face the unknown every single day.  Seeing movies in a movie theater may not seem essential to some people (including film critics, oddly) but movies have brought joy and escapism to millions of people across the world for over a hundred years. To some, watching movies in theaters offers a lot more to them, even if it’s just getting out of the house or getting some air conditioning for a few hours.

If you want to go to see movies in theaters, that’s just the risk you’ll have to take, and if you have diabetes or other conditions that might make it more dangerous for you to get COVID, then it’s up to you if you’re willing to take that risk… but I have a feeling that if you’re at risk, you will be a LOT more careful while interacting with people you don’t know when you go to the movies.  You’ll wear a mask, and you won’t get up and up close to people you don’t know who are not wearing a mask. Really, it’s not that hard to figure this out.

(*Incidentally, I did write a 30 Minute Experiment on how to reopen movie theaters literally THREE MONTHS AGO!!)