#us the strep test results for a whole week

[mosspapi]

Oh fuck. Today marks 6 whole years since The Bullshit started. I mean. It'd Started well before then but that's when it officially started yknow. And what cosmic irony is it that a whole new bullshit that's basically just a worse version of the original bullshit is starting now too

[a-lwni]

today i spent 4 hours in the waiting room at urgent care for them to tell me it's not strep, it's not covid, it's not the flu, but here's 5 prescriptions [that i won't fill], we swabbed for another test and they sent it out to the lab and "we'll call you tomorrow with the results and if we need to prescribe antibiotics we'll do that then"

in the wide gulfs between contact i felt like i was losing my shit, pacing up and down the room thinking it does not have to be like this, why is it like this

and then i went to my dad's, gave my nephew a blanket that liz got for him - it's blue, soft, and has a pillowed hood with a cute face. the second i saw him i wrapped him in a hug and he hasn't taken it off since.

their mom got kicked out last weekend and the week since has been brutal, i just want to hold them and hold them. i sat the two kids down and asked them about the altercation, how they felt, tried to give them space to share. sad, powerless. their mom got into a room yesterday. they saw it, love it there, the owner of that house has the sweetest dog named doggy. then we went to ride bikes and run around the backyard for a couple hours. made them lunch, just hot dogs.

later A and i went to pick up dinner and we talked and talked and talked

about our recent breakups, today's the first day i've felt like a person since

about the time i called him from work because i'd accidentally eaten a whole bar of liz's shroom chocolate. that trip was all anxiety except for that call. it was euphoria to hear his voice thru the line. the clarity i had at the end of the trip was about how much i wanted to be with E. how genuinely i wanted to try. now look at us. 'but the experience was real,' he said 'you really loved each other. it hurts but you'll remember that'

about 'the markets.' he's always trying to grow his money, be prudent with it. our dad made a lot, but was selfish with it. my brother wants to make money and make it accessible to everybody he cares about - housing, employment, security. i love him for this. i love him for many reasons. and i like hearing him talk about something he cares about. but i do not care about the markets. i tell him the most valuable investment is probably your time. if you like thinking about stocks, options, yields, whateverwhatever go off, make your money work for you or whatever, that's a valuable investment. i make a few extra hundred a month getting to spend time with kaleb, this beautiful kid i tutor who is obsessed with puns. we do math, we read, we play chess, we talk about life, hold space for each other. this is a valuable investment

before i left i let my brother [the kids' dad] emotion dump on me for an hour and a half. i confirmed how fucked it is to live without any tenant rights. at the whims of our family weather, how dad exploited the tumult in your marriage to eject your wife and because all the papers are... dubious... you have no recourse, no leverage

when i got into my car to drive home i screamed, cried, felt renewed. like a person who can face the week

[since0202]

Taking Time—Forty Four

In over your head

Do you ever feel like a slingshot? Because I feel like one a lot lately. The thing about slingshots is they’re useful, right up until they're not. But the thing I identify with most is the potential of a slingshot. Its inherent use is obvious whether it’s being pulled taut, loaded with something to launch, or sitting empty somewhere. But lately, I feel like the latter version. I feel empty, but built with so much potential and care that it seems like such a waste. How do I shake this feeling? How do I reclaim the version of myself that feels most useful? Ready to launch and exceed my own expectation of how far I can make things go. Pulled tight, and overstretched but so fantastically full with purpose and determination. I don’t know, I suppose that might sound a little weird, but it makes sense to me. I’m a slingshot, I’ve just got to find that missing piece of me.

Maya made it through her last final by the skin of her teeth. The last few weeks of the semester had been a blur after her scare in the infirmary and if she was being honest with herself, she’d never really been able to shake it off. She had successfully been able to quell Paul’s concerns when she lied and said she thought she had strep, brought on by the unrelenting stress of finals. He had conceded and the next day, a care package had shown up at her dorm filled with vitamin C packets, a heated blanket, weighted neck pillow, her favorite snacks, and a carefully carved wolf figurine. That one had made her smile. And then the smile had faltered and Maya had felt nauseous all over again.

Something still hadn’t sat right with Maya over lying to Paul about the pregnancy scare, but she knew she didn’t want to tell him over the phone where she wouldn't be able to read his face. If she was being honest, she’d even say she was a little embarrassed by all of this, but couldn’t fully pinpoint the reason why. She’s sure it had to do with the fact that this was entirely ironic. What if she had gotten a positive test result back? What then? She knew Becks would never say a word against her, but still, Maya felt a little ashamed with how she had reacted to Becks’ pregnancy and she had almost been put in the line of fire herself. And then there was…a confusing air of disappointment.

Maya had pushed that feeling so far down so as not to have to deal with its confusing effects during her finals, but now, as she packed her suitcases and filled some boxes with the bits she’d gathered during her semester, it began to bubble up again.

Why in the world should she feel disappointment? The thought raged in her head as she tried to focus on folding and pressing her t-shirts into her suitcase. It’s not like she wanted to be pregnant—far from it. Maya knew she wasn’t ready for that and she still had dreams and things she wanted to do first. They were on the same page about that. But still..it left a tiny dime sized hole in the pit of her stomach, and the ache that usually pulsed as a reminder of her imprint squeezed around that empty feeling until her head would start to ache.

Maya brought a hand to her forehead and checked for a fever. Maybe she was just getting sick and this feeling was merely a delusion of that. She felt relatively cool, but how she was to know. Her phone buzzed in her back pocket and Maya slipped it out and quickly opened the email notification from Paul with her flight details. She smiled at the short note in the email from him:

Can’t wait to have you back with me.

She sent a quick reply of “Can’t wait to be back with you,” before adding the notification of her early morning flight to her calendar and packing in earnest now. This feeling would ebb and she would feel whole again once she was back home and with Paul, she knew it. Beez was already out ferrying her stuff to the mailroom to ship back home, so when Maya heard a quick succession of knocks on her dorm room door, she raised an eyebrow in confusion.

When she pulled it open, she had no time to react before a bright, warm body was hurtling into her arms with a squeal.

“KEYE?!” Maya yelled as she inhaled the familiar scent of her friend’s shampoo and wrapped her arms around her. “What the fuck are you doing here?!” Keye was laughing and swinging Maya from side to side. When she pulled back to look at her, her eyes were bright with excitement and Maya immediately felt that empty hole shrink. Keye was a bit of home.

“Surprise! I thought I’d come celebrate the end of your laborious finals with you!” she replied with a sound of delight as she clapped her hands together.

“But what..how did you? But you have school!” Maya nearly scolded. She was so happy Keye was here and her own excitement was plain on her face as she held onto her friend's hand. Keye shrugged.

“UW let out a few days ago and I was just putzing around the rez, so! HERE I AM! In the big apple and ready to party, bitch!” Keye walked deeper into Maya’s dorm scanning the contents of the room with a discerning eye. Her eyes landed on the stack of boxes in the corner and she shook her head.

“But how did you get here?” Maya continued, coming to stand beside her friend.

“Psh, what do you think?” She replied, hands on her hips and mirroring Maya’s posture just moments before. “Paul.” She said simply. “He texted me a couple of days ago and asked if I wanted to go out and see you, help bring you back. Said you had been so stressed with finals that you’d nearly made yourself sick,” at this she wagged her finger at Maya disapprovingly before continuing, “And thought I’d be a great little treat for you. So sweet,” she concluded with a knowing grin. Maya rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the rush of warmth that filled her now. It’s like he’d known she was missing a piece and he’d tried to fill it the best way he could.

Maya smiled and nodded. “Very sweet,” she confirmed as she looked at her boxes.

“What the fuck are we supposed to do with all of this then?” Keye blurted out. Maya laughed, thoroughly glad for the company.

“That’s the last one,” Keye said as she huffed and heaved another box up onto the mailroom counter. It had taken them two trips with the dolly to get all of Maya’s things here and both girls were completely out of breath at this point. Yeah, next semester, she was not bringing this much stuff. Which wouldn’t be too hard to do, she thought, because she had the option of living off campus or in the sophomore suites next year. Maya hadn’t quite decided what she wanted yet. Paul was obviously keen on the idea of her living off campus where he could come and stay with her whenever he liked, but Maya still thought being close to her cohort would be the best while she was out here on her own.

She shrugged off the thought for now, not needing to dwell on it for the next couple of months at least and smiled at the student attendants behind the counter.

“Where to?” A befreckled boy asked, as he poised his pen over the clipboard.

“La Push, Washington,” Maya said, her voice drenched in contentment.

After filling out the postage for each box and sliding her black card to pay for the exorbitant shipping fee, Maya and Keye walked arm and arm into the fresh spring air that was mingling with the teasing warmth of summer. They were all smiles, giggling at nothing and everything as they talked, making their way across campus.

Maya could almost feel the weight of this semester roll off her shoulders under the pleasing May sun and as they sauntered across the quad, Keye asked, “So, what do we do for our last night as free women in this big ole city? Because I think—”

“HEY! MAYA!” Maya’s head shot up and she watched with a smile as Noah jogged toward them with an equally pleased smile.

“Oh…my,” Keye said with a hungry edge to her voice.

“What?” Maya asked, confused, but it was too late to confer as Noah was already in front of them, all smiles and giving off a sweet musk mixed with an earthier cologne that made Maya raise an eyebrow.

“Hey, you all packed?” He asked between breaths. Keye was definitely staring. Maya had never thought Noah was exceedingly handsome, not like Paul, but she could see the appeal now with Keye giving him an appreciative look.

“Uh, yeah, just dropped it off at the mailroom. This is Keye, she’s my best friend from La Push,” Maya motioned to Keye who had already unthreaded her arm and was running a hand through her chopped hair and putting on her megawatt smile. Noah turned to Keye as if noticing her for the first time and beamed back holding out his hand.

“Noah,” he said confidently. When Keye took his hand he said, “Wow, the genetics running around La Push are gorgeous. Someone should really do a study.” Keye laughed at this as she continued to shake his hand. Maya bit her lip and had to stifle a laugh. Was Keye really interested in him? Well, Keye was interested in everyone to be fair. “So, when do you head out?” Noah said, finally letting Keye’s hand fall and turning his interest back to Maya.

“Early,” Maya sighed, “Tomorrow morning.”

“So you have one last night of debauched fun, then,” He said with almost a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Keye whooped and turned to Maya with an eager smile. Maya groaned but she realized she was smiling.

“I guess,” she bemoaned sarcastically as her smile stretched wider across her face.

“YES! But first, I was promised the most delicious deli sandwich ever.” Keye fist pumped the air and slotted her hand into Noah’s tugging him toward the quad and he followed her eagerly.

Maya, Keye, and Beez were chatting loudly as they ascended the stairs from the subway station into the warm night air. They were greeted at the top by some other friends from Maya’s cohort, as well as Noah, who gave her a warm smile and tugged her into a quick hug. Keye looked bemused at them before they all quickly conferred on their first stop that evening and headed down the sidewalk. A pack of engineering and math students now free of the shackles of the semester were ready to welcome summer with open arms. Maya couldn’t remember the last time she could breathe this easy.

With most of her outfit choices packed away and sent home, Maya had opted for her tightest pair of jeans that hugged her ass perfectly and a cropped black top that dipped so low in the front that the top of her black lace bralette was easily on display. She’d taken some extra time to do her hair that evening and it shimmered under the lamplights in soft, silky waves down her back. She’d even let Keye line and fill in her lips so that they looked more pouted than usual, finishing it off with an expert, delicate winged eyeliner and a touch of mascara.

The night held promise—the promise of summer, the promise of a good time, and even the promise of a neat end, tied up into a bow and ready to blow Maya back to the west coast. She was ready to lose herself in the laughter and chat of her friends tonight, letting the first year of college sink into her completely and color her into something new and experienced before heading back to the undoubtedly drama-filled summer that La Push would certainly deliver.

But for now, the night was new and the lights and sounds of this city that Maya had come to love and claim as her own settled and hummed against her skin. As they poured through the doors of their first bar that evening, the music shaking the walls and the lights strobing off the center of a dance floor, she was greeted with the vibrant voices of her friends yelling:

“Shots! Shots!”

Keye squealed with delight and tugged Maya toward the bar before everything dimmed deliciously around her and almost faded completely into black.

Maya slowly opened her eyes to the sound of rough grinding construction ringing out of the cracked window to her left. The room was swathed in bright light around her as she put a hand to her throbbing forehead, letting out a long breath trying to quell the pounding ache that was building around her temples.

Birds chirped animatedly between the hammering and clanging of the construction outside and Maya opened her mouth as if to call out to Paul and tell him to keep it down. It was way too early for him to be carrying on like that and she wasn’t even entirely sure how he could make that much noise in his small workshop. The sound of concrete drill rattled to life against some pavement and Maya’s eyes sprang open, focusing on the ceiling above her.

Not home. Her mind confirmed quickly.

Suddenly, Maya felt the shift of an arm underneath the pillow she laid on and she turned her head to see Noah asleep a couple feet from her on his back, one arm slung over his eyes and the other tucked under the pillow beneath her head. Maya’s breathing picked up. She was at Noah’s. Why was she at Noah’s? She lifted her head to look down at herself expecting the worst but she was fully clothed and upon second glance, so was Noah.

Maya lifted her head to see Keye tucked between her and Noah, her head at the foot of the bed and her mouth gently parted in sleep. Her eyes shot around the room as she sat up, trying to recall the night that had led to her and Keye ending up here.

Somewhere between their third and fourth bar is when she lost track of the evening. She recalled at one point hopping onto Noah’s back after stumbling so much that he insisted he carry her. As she clung to him piggyback style down the streets of New York, he had planted his hands firmly beneath her thighs as she leaned her head back and drank in the cool night air as their friends ping ponged around them. But when had they come back here? The sharp shrill of birds chirping made Maya’s eyes go wide as realization dawned on her.

What time is it?! Maya scrambled for her phone in the bed to the groggy groans of Keye and Noah. She found it on the nightstand next to her, but when she attempted to turn it on, it was , of course, dead. Maya sprang from the bed against the protesting of her head and searched for Noah’s phone charger frantically as Keye moaned painfully.

“Keye, get up!” Maya snapped. She found the end to Noah’s charger plugged in on his side of the bed and shoved it hastily into her phone waiting for it to boot up.

“Fi’ more mins,” Keye groaned as she tried to cover her head. Noah was rubbing his face and yawning nonchalantly.

“Please, please, please,” Maya whispered as she waited for her phone to finally open.

9:02 a.m.

“Fuck,” she whispered. They’d missed their flight back to La Push that had been slated to leave at 7 a.m. that morning. Just as her brain was starting to switch into overdrive, a volley of delayed text notifications, voicemails, and missed calls popped up. Maya gave an exasperated groan.

Before she even opened the missed texts, mostly from Paul she assumed, she quickly opened a new text to Michael to get him working on booking her and Keye the next flight home. But just as she began typing, her phone sprang to life with Paul’s face.

“Fuck,” Maya squeaked louder this time. She looked at his face for a solid two seconds before hastily answering the phone. “Paul I’m—”

He cut her off: “My!? Jesus, where are you?” There was a tinge of irritation in his voice but mostly he sounded concerned. That was promising.

“I—I’m so sorry, babe. I was just texting Michael to get our flights changed. We…we overslept,” she admitted, holding onto her head and looking up at Noah who was watching her carefully.

“You overslept?” He asked, confusion coloring his voice. Maya held her breath and shut her eyes tight. She felt so many things right now: embarrassment, annoyance, hung over, and a tinge of sadness. If she hadn’t missed her flight, she’d be almost halfway to him by now.

“Yes,” she said simply trying to hide the tremble in her voice as she fought back tears. “My phone died and we overslept,” Maya realized she was still kneeling next to Noah’s bed and she stood up suddenly with her hand on her hip.

“What the fuck, Maya?” Paul said, his voice slightly raised and the anger ebbing out. Maya let out a huff of breath and turned to see Keye with her hands over her eyes.

“I know, I… I just messed up, I’m sorry. We all went out last night and my phone died and—”

“What the fuck is going on?” Paul asked, anger coloring his tone.

“Nothing, Paul,” Maya said, her annoyance creeping out, “We just overslept. It’s not a big deal. I’ll get Michael to book us on the next flight out of here. Calm down, please.”

What was his deal? She thought this reaction was a little over the top for her accidentally missing her flight home but there was an edge of desperation and worry in his tone and she suddenly felt guilty for a simple mistake.

“I said I was sorry,” she said, getting upset now.

“Oh, you will be,” he said ominously. Maya’s eyes widened momentarily and then she shook her head. He was upset, she understood that but this was almost too much. “Just get home.” He said in a quipped tone.

“Whatever,” Maya replied dismissively before hanging up and grabbing Keye’s arm, shaking it roughly. “Get up! We gotta go!” She scrolled to Michael’s name and pressed the call button before looking over at Noah.

“Maya,” he said slowly, apologetically. Maya held up her hand to him as Michael answered on the other line.

“Michael, hey, it’s Maya. Look, me and Keye missed our flights. Can you book us on the next one out ASAP? Paul nearly had a coronary.”

“Of course. I’ll send you an updated itinerary as soon as it’s booked,” he said.

“Thanks Michael,” Maya said, holding her hand to her forehead.

“Anytime.” Maya hung up the phone and started looking for her things.

“Keye! Let’s go! Airport! Now!” she barked in response to Keye's continued groaning.

Two and half hours later, Keye and Maya were tucked onto their flight back to Washington.

Maya had only forwarded her flight details to Paul via text, but he hadn’t responded. She knew she had clearly upset him but at the end of the day, she hadn’t done it on purpose. Which was why his reaction had seemed so off base. Was he really that upset with her? Or was it something else? Knowing Paul it had to be something else. Maya had clearly looked lost in thought as she gazed across Keye out the plane window because she abruptly asked:

“Are you gonna tell him?” Maya snapped from her reverie, smoothing the worried look that hand scrunched across her brow a moment earlier.

“Huh?” She replied.

“Paul,” Keye said expectantly.

“What about him?” Maya asked, confused still. Keye raised her eyebrows in surprise at Maya.

“Are you gonna tell him about us sleeping at Noah’s?” That thought honestly hadn’t even crossed Maya’s mind but now that Keye had said it…

“Uuuuhh,” she stalled.

“Oh damn,” Keye breathed out with an amused laugh at the end.

“What?!” Maya asked with a lick of accusation in her voice. Keye shook her head, the incredulous look not quite wiped from her features yet.

“Nothing just…Damn, Maya. Didn’t realize you were a cold player,” she was clearly joking but Maya stung a little at that.

“What are you talking about? We passed out at Noah’s, so what?” Maya looked down at her hands and started fiddling with the zipper on the front of her sweatshirt.

“Noah is into you,” Keye quipped. Maya scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“So, I’ve heard.”

“Yeah, and uh, I’ve never had a massively possessive—”

“Paul’s not—” Maya tried to interject.

“Fine, ‘protective’. I’ve never had as crazy of a protective boyfriend as you have, but I’m pretty sure he would not be super siked to hear that you passed out in Noah’s bed, next to him, after letting him get buddy buddy all night.” Keye wasn’t accusing her, nor was her tone hurtful. She just stated it matter of factly and Maya faltered.

“Buddy buddy?” she clarified with an edge to her voice, glancing at Keye.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Keye pushed back, “My, you know what you do to dudes. Paul included.”

“I do not,” Maya said, truly at a loss. Keye was the one to roll her eyes this time.

“Don’t do that. Don’t play that oblivious pretty girl bit,” Keye said, her tone sharp, but sincere.

“I don’t know what the hell that means but if I tell Paul I slept in a bed with Noah, he might very well lose his mind. So, no. I’m not going to tell him. But I do not encourage Noah, Keye. You’ve got that wrong,” Maya shot back. Keye shrugged her shoulders and started pulling out her headphones.

“Okay, just want to get our story straight.”

“There’s nothing to get straight. Nothing happened. We partied too late last night and I slept through my alarm like an idiot. And that just happened to royally piss my boyfriend off. Case closed,” Maya folded her arms across her chest and glanced out the window again. “Keye?” she tried to confirm. Keye poised her headphones over her ears and shook her head.

“My, it’s not a big deal. You know I don’t care what you do. All I’m saying is, if Paul was there last night, you would have not done the things you did,” Keye slotted her earphones in and finished with, “Just be careful.”

Maya tried to determine what could have happened the night before to make Keye think that she had been ‘buddy buddy’ with Noah. But nothing came to mind. She hadn’t held his hand or hung on him. She was never the kind of girl to do that, in fact she was considered the rez prude for most of her life before dating Paul. She had accepted a piggy back ride from Noah to their last bar of the night. That wasn’t leading him on though, was it?

She thought about what Keye said—about how if Paul had been around last night, she wouldn’t have done half the things she did. But what had she done? Hung out with friends? Joked? Accepted a drink from Noah or Ben? But if Keye had seen something she hadn’t then maybe she was saying or doing things without realizing. Maya shook her head, trying to banish the thought. Whatever it was she had or hadn’t done last night didn’t matter.

She was going home for the summer, resuming her life with Paul and being present for her best friend who was about to have her baby. And she wasn’t going to tell Paul because it wasn’t information he needed to know. Not when he was already pissed at her.

It would be fine.

“Fine,” Maya breathed out.

Paul leaned his head back beneath the shower head and let the water rush down over his face and neck. Showers were never the same after he had phased, not as warm, not as relaxing, but today… Paul let out a low groan as water ran rivulets down his hard chest to his legs. He looked down at the girl on her knees taking him deep into her throat and bobbing her head expertly. He threaded his fingers through her hair at the back of her head and gave a harsh huff as he held her face to him for just a few brief seconds, her lips pressed against his hilt.

“My, fuck!” he shuddered as he released her and she continued to take him in earnest now, edging him closer. She gazed up at him around her lashes and smiled around his length, nearly sending him. She knew what she was doing to him.

He had been so mad at her this morning when she had called and nonchalantly admitted on the other end that she had missed her flight. The worry and ache that had been his constant companion since April had exploded in that instant and he had gripped his phone so tightly it had almost cracked in two. But the second she had walked over the threshold of that front door, dropped her bags, and gave him that warm, all encompassing smile, he felt the tension and anger ebb from his shoulders and he soaked up that radiating pleasure she gave off.

The imprint would never let him stay mad at her for long, nor would Maya. That’s how she had ended up on her knees in the shower, her mouth stuffed full of him, eagerly swallowing him down. Paul braced his forearm against the shower wall and leaned his head forward, letting the water hit his back and blocking it from raining down on Maya’s face. She braced her hands on his broad thighs now, taking long, sweet pulls on him before dipping him down and to the back of her throat making him groan. She had him.

“My, I’m gonna–” he grunted and in response Maya quickly pushed him down to the back of her throat, letting him settle there. Paul’s eyes went wide and he held onto her head as he pumped forward into her mouth, fucking her face gently a few times before spilling down her throat. His breathing came in fast, powerful huffs as he slowly pulled her off of him and she swallowed what was left in her mouth before smiling serenely up at him.

“Jesus, My,” he said with a huff of laughter. She stayed on her knees for a moment, smiling up at him and he brought his hand to her face, cupping her cheek and running his thumb across her full lower lip.

As she stood and leaned against his chest, the top of her head not quite meeting his shoulder line, she hummed her appreciation. Maya gazed up at him with that heart-squeezing smile and Paul felt that tug that urged her closer. He wrapped an arm down around her back, resting on her ass as he brought his lips to her forehead. Maya wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into it, letting the relief of the imprint pulse between them.

“Am I forgiven yet?” Maya asked, pressing her lips across his throat as the water poured down and over his shoulders. Paul chuckled and kissed the top of her head.

“Almost,” he teased. “But I want to show you something.” Maya looked up at him curiously and he couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s a good thing.”

Paul shut the door to his forerunner and came around the front of the car where Maya stood, slotting her hand into his. The clearing that had once been blank space backed with evergreens that led deeper into the forest was now filled with a prominent two-story, sleek, dark navy home with modern white trim. The graveled drive was still being curved in and dotted with low garden lights, and the ground was freshly tilled and waiting for landscaping, but the house looked nearly done.

Maya let her eyes wander across the damp concrete of the freshly poured porch that wrapped around the right side of the house. The large white paned windows shone in the easy afternoon light and Paul felt Maya squeeze his hand and tug him forward.

“Paul,” she said, nearly breathless. Paul had to admit it, the work they had accomplished in just five short months was pretty impressive. The outside of the house was almost completed and only needed a few finishing touches (lights installed, porch railing sealed, and numbers affixed to the door). Inside would take a little bit longer, but Jacob had asked to wait for Becks so that she could decide the things she wanted like paint color, floor stain, light fixtures, and even window trim. He was going all out for his imprint, but Paul understood why. This family and this life meant everything to him. It was what he had been seeking when he first met Bella and what he fruitlessly tried to achieve when he followed her. Now, not even a year after mysteriously returning—a reason he still hadn’t shared with his brothers—he had an imprint and a baby on the way. It made sense why he pushed all the way down on the gas to jumpstart his new life.

And Paul had jumped at the chance to help.

“Has she seen it yet?” Maya asked, turning to look at him as she ascended the porch steps, her eyes bright and wide and eager. Paul’s heart stuttered in his chest and he let go of her hand to grip her ribcage and hold her in place before him. She was just a little taller than him standing on the second porch step and he stepped forward to close the small gap between them to kiss her. She responded instantly, arching her back and pressing into him, her arms coming up to rest over his shoulders. Paul felt that sensation of being grounded firmly to the earth, that swell and release of joy as he pressed her just a little closer and gently squeezed her ribcage beneath his large hands. He felt invigorated and clear, like the brightness was turned up on his entire world. When he released her, she steadied herself against his chest, laying her palms flat against his pecks.

He gave her an awry smile, “Not quite yet,” he said. “But Jacob wanted to get as much done as possible before the big reveal. We’re way ahead of schedule. But I—,” he paused, watching her carefully, not sure how to proceed, “I wanted to tell you something.”

She raised her eyebrow and looked at him curiously, humor etched plainly across her face. “Oh?” she offered and he couldn’t help but let out a short laugh.

“Yeah, uh,” he began looking away and then feeling the need to stare at her again. “I took some time off from completing commissions this spring. Kind of like a hiatus, so I could help Jacob do this. I haven’t been working at all,” he admitted. For some reason, Paul had felt too nervous to tell Maya this at the beginning of her semester. Her eyes were wide again, but Paul couldn’t place the emotion. Was she disappointed? He hurriedly carried on, “It’s not a big deal really. It gave me more time to work on some side projects in town, make the council happy without having to impregnate my girlfriend,” Maya laughed at that, a tinge of annoyance on the end of that sparkling sound, “It doesn’t really cut into us at all though, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Paul,” Maya said again, bringing her hand to his cheek. There was that look he loved so much from her. Pure adoration. If it was the work of the imprint, he didn’t care. He just wanted Maya to keep looking at him like that for the rest of his life. “This is amazing. You are amazing. For doing all of this?” she gestured around her as she stood still, held firmly in place by Paul’s hands. “Of course it’s okay. It’s more than okay. And I don’t care about it cutting into us, whatever that means.” She leaned forward and kissed him again, soft and sweet this time. “This is absolutely incredible and so are you.”

He beamed at her and then pressed his forehead against hers—something he couldn’t do typically when she was standing next to him.

“I just want to make sure I’m telling you these things,” he said, gently tucking some hair behind her ear. Maya’s face dropped momentarily and her eyes shot through with something unspoken. His interest piqued at that but he let it go when her face changed into one of pleased softness, “You’re a part of all these things and a part of me.” Something inside him thrummed with content. She slotted so easily against him, a perfect fit, molded to him and he ached for more. Later, he told himself. “Let me show you the rest,” he said as he took a step back and placed his hand around hers before pulling her up the rest of the short porch steps and to the front door.

Hungry. That’s how Paul felt. Hungry to start this summer with Maya and spend as much time with her as possible. He was constantly surprised by the fact that their imprint was over a year old, and the length of their relationship almost the same. Paul was hungry to take the next step with Maya, but he was never sure what that next step was. He was worried about putting too much pressure on her.

Their relationship was so different from those of the other imprints. His brother’s imprints were eager, overjoyed even to get married, settle down, and start their lives on the rez. Maya though…was a wild card. No imprint had ever traveled so far off the rez without their partner before Maya and Becks. But Becks was more tethered now with the baby due in just two short months.

His Maya was determined to chase what she wanted and he loved that, admired it. Still, he wanted to make things even more solid, even if just to satiate that itch. She had been adamant that she wanted the same things as him—kids, marriage, their life together, she wanted it all. But the answer of when still hung in the air. He could be patient for all of those things, but he wanted to take at least one step toward that endgame this summer. When and what he did toward that goal was key though.

Once they had returned from the walkthrough of Becks and Jacob’s new house, Maya had said she was going upstairs to take a nap, citing some residual jet lag and the late night she and Keye had had before that caused them to miss their flight. Paul had settled at the kitchen table with his laptop, touching base with Michael about re-establishing his project timelines in July and answering some emails in the meantime. But his eyes continued to stray to the darkened stairs.

Hungry.

Would he ever not feel that predestined pull toward her? The one that begged him to cover every inch of her in every inch of him? She’d been resting for a little over an hour at this point, but Paul’s hands were beginning to itch to touch her. Just to be near her. He’d felt a version of this feeling from the first moment he’d laid eyes on her at that bonfire. A tug, a sharp pull that cinched around his heart and squeezed and that kept his gaze focused on her at all times. It was terrifying if not a little exhausting at times. But when he’d relinquish his control and give into the pull, he was always rewarded by the imprint.

From the moment he had imprinted on Maya, he would listen to every change in her breathing, watch enraptured as the goosebumps sprouted on her arm when he touched her, and finally, when she had let him, he would watch her face devolve into pure bliss the first time he pressed into her. Nothing could top that sight.

He glanced back to the half finished email and swallowed thickly. He could be patient. The rumbling of thunder sounded just off the beach and if Paul trained his ears, he could hear the soft patter of rainfall beginning down on the water. In just a few minutes, the rain began to fall in earnest, creating a soft thrum of noise within the house as it darkened outside. Paul ran a hand down his face and tried to refocus on the email in front of him. Something about refurbishing a mantel in an historic building in Chicago. But his mind was elsewhere.

The time away from her this semester had almost been too much. He’d delayed getting a place in New York once Jacob had hurried his plans along on the house, and the time away from Maya had been nearly unbearable.

Now, as he sat in the kitchen, listening to the rain, with her asleep just upstairs from him, he realized how ridiculous it was that he was anywhere other than beside her at this moment. He’d spent nearly four months without his imprint, he wasn’t going to waste any more time just sitting here when she was just upstairs. That was all he needed to convince himself to close his laptop and take the stairs two at a time before opening the door quietly and peering in. She was there, stretched out on his side of the bed with his t-shirt and some black sleep shorts on with just a knitted throw slung over her lower half. Her breathing came slow and easy. He entered the room, leaving the door barely cracked behind him before pulling off his shirt and sliding silently out of his jeans.

He didn’t wake her as he climbed into bed beside her, pressing his chest up against her back and wrapping his arm around her stomach to gently tug and slot her against him. She breathed out a sweet sigh and Paul leaned down to kiss gently against her neck and shoulder for a moment. He’d let her sleep, but he wanted a moment to breathe in that heady soft aroma that was so distinctly her.

He placed his lips at the crook of her neck and took some slow deep breaths, absently kissing and gently nipping at that delicate spot to revel in her. Maya made a soft sound, mingled with a sleepy groan that made him ache. Paul told himself he’d let her be after just a few more inhales, one more trail of soft kisses from her shoulder to behind her ear. But his control always slipped with Maya, especially when she began to roll her hips back against him. He let out a low groan in her ear when she pressed back against him and felt himself harden. Paul slipped his hand under the shirt that she wore and squeezed her waist.

“You miss me?” she said barely above a whisper in that sleepy, sweet tone. Paul nipped at her shoulder in response and smiled against her ear. She hummed her appreciation and placed her hand over his as he stroked back and forth over her stomach. “I was napping you know,” she teased gently.

“You’ve been napping for awhile,” he said, rolling her gently onto her back, “Plus, I have a better idea.” She was beaming up at him and that heart squeezing feeling pulsed through him again. She brought her hands up to cup either side of his face and he leaned down between them to kiss her softly, letting his hands knead the soft flesh on her hips as he slid his knee up between her thighs. She gifted him with a giggle that sent his heart racing and with a wide grin he dipped his head down to her neck again before swiftly pulling the shirt up and over her head.

“Aaah,” he let out a satisfied sigh at the sight of her. Paul could hear her heart quicken and tried to slow his pace so that he could enjoy every moment with her before devouring her. He dove down to her breasts, pulling one tight nipple between his lips and teasing it with his tongue. The breathy moans he pulled from her were enough to send him, but he held tight to her, relishing in the stiff peaks her tits formed when he let each nipple go from his mouth with a pop. With one hand on her waist, he used his other hand to pull the sleep shorts down her legs and flung them off the bed. He knew she’d be wet before he even dipped his index finger inside her and swiped along her seam, causing her to whimper. Internally, he growled. Whenever she made that sweet, simple whimper his mind darkened and he clutched onto the edge of his control.

Paul kissed along the line of her hips as she tangled her hands in his hair, begging him to go lower. But Paul was determined to take his time. With his hands grasped firmly on her waist and his lips pressing a line across the top of her delicate V, he propped himself up on his forearms to let his eyes cascade up and down her body.

Maya’s chest heaved in anticipation, her eyes trained to his waiting for him to dive in, to pull her under, and press her into the mattress. But instead, Paul let his eyes trace across each line and soft curve of her body, over the swell of her breasts, to the dip at her collarbone, ending in a rich well at the base of her throat. Her mouth hung slack as she watched him, her finger tracing the line of his brow.

This frustrating, sweet, eager, pliant, stubborn woman was his. His perfect little imprint splayed out just for him and still, Paul couldn’t help but be amazed each time she opened herself to him. The bond that tied them together tightened in his stomach and she squirmed in response. The things he would do to her, for her, were unending. He dipped his head to breathe in her scent again—it was intoxicating, making his brain fuzzy and loosening his control just enough.

“Paul?” she breathed out. That wanton stare, her face flush with lust made him snap.

In one sharp move, he wrenched her off the bed and flipped their positions so he was on his back and Maya was sitting straddled across his abs. Paul held tightly to her ass as he yanked her up and with a yelp, Maya settled over his face as she braced herself on the headboard.

“Paul! What—” but her protest dissolved into a solid moan as Paul pulled her down firmly on his face and began to suck at her core, letting his tongue dart in and out of her opening before swiping up between her swollen petals and pressing on the bead of her clit. “Paul, I-I…” she stuttered and stopped, trying to lift her frame off of his face but he held her tightly. She whined in response to his continued assault between her legs and when she threw her head back to let the sound flow freely from her throat now, he knew he had her. With the flat of his palm, Paul gave a swift slap to her left ass cheek and she yelped in delight. After a few more flurried spanks, Maya took her cue and started to grind her hips over his face, deliciously riding him. Paul let out a groan of appreciation that vibrated through her and made her respond in kind.

With another quick slap, Maya picked up her pace, her eyes closing as she clutched onto the bed frame. Paul let one hand travel up her torso and expertly pinched and pulled at one nipple. She was grinding faster, her breathing coming erratically and when she careened, her voice pitched high and her core tightened around his darting tongue, he felt a soft warmth flood over him as he sucked at all she gave him.

She was still twitching and making soft, gasping moans as he lapped at her, but before she could deflate completely, he pulled her off of him and came down on top of her. Her eyes were half opened in slits of bliss as she smiled up at him. This was his favorite part.

Paul pulled his briefs down enough to pull himself out and pressed into her opening. Maya’s mouth fell open in a silent moan as her eyes opened a little more to stare into his as he entered her.

“Fuck,” he groaned as he slid neatly between her legs and pressed to his hilt in one fast snap of his hips. Maya sucked in a sharp breath at the sudden intrusion but stayed open and pliant. He watched the quick tension relax into eagerness. Paul started to pump easily, her channel slick from his workings earlier, and closed his eyes to let the sound of her stuttering small moans wash over him as he stretched her.

Caught up in moments like this with Maya always seemed to bring Paul to a better version of himself. He felt the most like himself just like this with Maya. She had been right all those months ago when they had fought—they were very good at this. But it was more than just the physical bond between them. The imprint lit up every sensation, every heartstring and every deep stirring desire and he wanted it all with her.

He was rocking into her faster now and leaned his head forward to press his forehead to hers. She held onto the back of his neck, her legs wrapped up around his hips as he rubbed his hand up and down her thigh, slamming into her.

“N-nee-need you d-deeper,” she huffed. Oh, she knew what she was doing to him. Paul let that mischievous grin stretch across his face and the little smirk she returned did him in.

“Uh huh, I just bet baby. You’re taking me so good like this though, you sure you want more?” he said. Paul knew when he took her from behind that it felt almost too intense for her. Still, she nodded sweetly, toying with a look of feigned innocence that had him leaning down to bite her bottom lip that she puckered out at him. “If you insist,” he growled before quickly pulling out to her startled gasp, and turning her onto her stomach quickly.

He fully removed his briefs now and sat up on his knees behind her. He laid another harsh slap to her ass before grabbing her hips and snapping them up to meet his.

“Spread wide for me, baby,” he coaxed her as he rubbed his hand over the red print he left on her cheek. Maya let out a quick breath before letting her knees slide wide on the bed. Paul rubbed the globes of her ass before firmly planting his hands on her hips. He stroked along her slit with the head of his cock, pulling it up between her ass and then back down to her weeping opening. Maya’s breathing picked up in anticipation and when Paul slipped back inside of her, he couldn’t help himself from groaning, “Good girl,” as she let out a low whine and clutched the sheets.

So much for taking his time. Paul sank into her and let out a sharp breath when he bottomed out. Maya was breathing fast now, but her stillness as she adjusted to him turned into an eager rocking of her hips as she moved over him. Paul let his hands rest lightly on her hips and watched as she took all of him in. The feeling of her clenching around him was beginning to be too much already and when he was this deep, all he could think about was making a mess inside of her. Still, he held onto his control for as long as he could, letting her bob up and down on his length. When his resolve finally snapped, he gripped her hips tightly to still her before he began to snap his hips roughly against hers. Maya’s small moans ballooned into wails as she cinched and shuddered around him. She was spiraling and he wasn’t far behind. With a few more quick slaps against her hips Paul buried himself as deep as he could and spilled inside of her. His entire body sagged with relief and bliss as she sank down onto the bed. His cock sprang free of her and he watched with satisfaction as he dripped out of her.

Wanting to savor this moment, he lowered himself over her back, making sure to prop himself up on his elbows so as not to put too much of his weight on her, before pressing himself back into her. She groaned in what he could only ascertain as weak protest but with a peppering of kisses across her shoulders she quieted.

She wiggled a little beneath him, overstimulated and feeling his cock twitch in her, but she knew to let him stay inside. Paul would absently thrust into her every so often to coax one of her sweet moans from her, but mostly he just reveled in the sensation of keeping her stuffed full, of her soft body beneath his.

A little while later, they were wrapped in each other, the low light of the afternoon filtering around the storm clouds that continued to gently rain outside. Paul was just beginning to drift off when he heard her:

“I want to tell you things too,” She murmured in the deepening dark.

“Mmm?” he responded sleepily. Paul could hear Maya’s heart beat faster in her chest now. She rolled onto her stomach next to him, placing a hand on his chest.

“That night when I was at the infirmary and said I had strep?” Maya began. Paul looked at her confused, not entirely sure where this was going. When he didn’t respond she continued, tucking her hair behind her ear, “I thought I was pregnant. So I went to the campus infirmary to get a test.” Paul breathed in deeply, keeping his eyes focused on her. Why didn’t she say anything? As if answering his silent question, Maya said, “At first, I thought it was nothing and then I really wanted it to be nothing. And if I told you before I knew for certain, I know there would be nothing in the world that would stop you from getting to me.”

For a moment, the image of Maya being pregnant washed over Paul and he got lost in the quiet joy that flooded his chest. She would look so beautiful—round belly and warm cheeks as she smiled at him with that overwhelming look of happiness that he knew only he made her feel, that the bond made her feel. He itched to see her that way, full with his child and ready to take on their future together and start a family. He could see it so clearly, how the ring he’d bought her would glitter on her left hand as she placed it on the top of her swollen stomach and hummed sweetly hoping their baby could hear her.

But he knew she wasn’t ready. Not yet. And he could wait because that future held so much promise for them. It would still be there when they were ready. So, he let that image of Maya slip from him as his eyes refocused on the beautiful, naked, young woman propped up on his side.

“What?” She smoothed her hand over his chest and he let his look morph into one of light amusement.

“Nothing. Strep, huh?” he teased. Maya rolled her eyes and leaned down to kiss his chest. A nervousness overtook her now and Paul stroked her arm as he waited for her to speak.

“And I was late and overslept because Keye and I went out. I just felt like I needed to…feel like me and not quite so…well,” she ducked her head and looked back up at him. He was watching her carefully, a measured look of calmness on his face and Maya felt the need to tread softly. “We slept over at Noah’s.”

His jaw ticked dangerously and Maya hurriedly continued, “Nothing happened. Nothing will ever, ever happen…. But—”

Paul sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes darkening with that visceral anger she only saw once before right before he phased in front of her for the first time. Still, she was in it now and she pressed on because she had to tell him. Maya laid her hand flat on his chest and pressed against the rising heartbeat.

“We all fell asleep in bed together. Totally innocent, we just passed out, but I just wanted to tell you so—”

“So it didn’t come up later? Or slip out when Keye is just having a good time and pokes fun at my girlfriend sleeping in bed with another guy in front of everyone?” He was getting mad, and could feel the heat rising in his chest.

“Paul, this isn’t a big deal,” Maya breathed. Oh, that was the wrong thing to say. His nostrils flared and he sat up in bed quickly bucking her back and causing her to sit up on her knees facing him, still naked. She hastily grabbed a pillow and held it against her.

“No, Maya, it’s not a big fucking deal to you. But it is to me,” he ran a hand through his tangled hair and shook his head trying to clear it. “He’s into you.”

“So?” Maya said.

“You’re mine!” Paul snapped. Maya jumped at the sound but then her eyes narrowed, slowly simmering with anger.

“It’s not like anything would ever happen Paul, it was an accident, we fell asleep! You’re being crazy about this,” Maya’s voice was raising now too. Paul was grateful that Jacob and Becks weren’t here for once because he was fuming.

“Maya, I need you to operate with a little more common fucking sense, especially when I’m not around. Because—”

“Nothing. Fucking. Happened!”

“Listen to me,” he said through gritted teeth. Maya rolled her eyes and placed her hand to her forehead. “You need to be more careful and more fucking respectful—”

“Respectful?!” Maya interrupted, a look of amused shock on her face. Paul kept going though.

“Yes, respectful of this imprint, of this bond, of our fucking relationship! We are in a relationship, Maya, unless you forgot.” He held up his hand to display the ring on his finger that she had given him at Christmas.

“I know we are! For fuck’s sake, Paul. It was an accident, it wasn’t like I was begging to get into bed with him just to piss you off. We were drunk, we were tired, we passed out, that’s it. What was I supposed to do? Sleep on the floor?”

“You were supposed to go home. To your dorm. Anywhere but a guy’s bed who is very much into you and makes it known, Maya.” Paul was furious.

“You’re overreacting. How am I supposed to tell you stuff if you react like this?” Maya accused.

“God. Grow up, Maya.” He said, shaking his head and getting out of bed to pull on some sweats. Maya made a strangled noise in her throat and stood up on her knees letting the pillow drop from her body.

“Grow up!? Me!? Fuck you, Paul! You grow up!” she shouted. Paul was looking at her sideways by the door as he pulled on a shirt. Even now, he felt distracted by the curve of her body, the shape of her mouth. The hold she had on him was equal parts wonderful and terrifying. He chuckled, annoyed and shook his head.

“Jesus, maybe I should have gotten you pregnant. Might have tempered whatever rebellious teenage bullshit this is,” he motioned to her with a vague wave of his hand and even as the words came out of his mouth, he knew they were wrong. They tasted bitter and made him swallow thickly.

Maya’s face was crestfallen, temporarily suspended in disbelief before it switched to one of sweeping anger. Paul set his mouth in a hard line and when she let out a shout that sounded like a growl and chucked the pillow across the room at him, he ignored it and stomped down the stairs.

One more minute and he was out the door and into the cool night air. Paul didn’t want to phase and let his thoughts that were currently running rampant flood his brothers’ minds. So instead, he hurried over to his forerunner and piled inside before slamming the door with more force than was necessary.

As he drove away from their home, his hands tightened on the steering wheel and regret poured over him.

“Fuck me!” he yelled to no one as he coasted toward the highway in the dark.

[divine-noire]

Mononucleosis Awareness Post

So I caught Mono participating in Hot Girl Summer™ (jk jk lmao) but I did get Mono, and this shit is not a fucking joke. If you feel like you might have it, please go to the doctor. Over the past 4 weeks, I have been going through literal medical hell from complications. I’m gonna list the symptoms I’ve had and if you feel like you might have it, go get looked at. I thought Mono was something only horny ass teens got in high school playing spin the bottle, I’m 26 (27 next month) and was NOT expecting this shit at all.

Fatigue

My first symptom that something was wrong was fatigue. This is not normal, everyday fatigue. This is actually waking up and feeling like the world is ending when you take your first step, fatigue. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. While driving, I put my emergency break on at red lights because I was afraid I would fall asleep while at the standstill. At work, if there were no calls, my head was down (luckily, my boss is only here twice a week so I could get away with this). At home, I was in bed by 6PM and when you do sleep, it’s immediate. There is no gradual lulling off to sleep. It’s face-meet-pillow-meet-morning-alarm type of sleep. But I was still tired no matter how much I slept so I started using No Doze to counteract the effects. At first, it was fine, but even then, I still had the underlying fatigue. It got so bad, I drove over a friend’s house in Greenbelt, MD which is about an hour and a half away with rush hour traffic, using every bit of energy I had in my body to get to her, because she said she would take care of me, which she did. But by the time I pulled up to her house, I basically almost fell out of the driver side door when she opened it for me. That is not an exaggeration, that is the level of exhaustion I felt from just driving that far without sleeping. We thought I had the flu or something flu-like, so she gave me fluids and alot of Day & NightQuil. It made the symptoms lessen, but it never made them go away.

Sore Throat

At the beginning, my throat merely felt scratchy. This lasted for about 3 days, before I knew it, my voice was gone and my throat was in so much pain I gave up talking. The pain is not akin to Strep Throat, if you’ve had that before. It is actually worse. My throat was swollen as a symptom of the virus, but it graduated into its own infection of severe Tonsillitis. It was so severe that I actually began having trouble swallowing from the amount of swelling that it caused. I had to receive a steroid injection in my butt to counteract the swelling and start methylprednisone (which wasn’t strong enough and I had to go back for regular prednisone 20mg). I couldn’t eat anything without pain, so I stuck to drinking a lot of fluids and ice water. Ice water became my guardian angel because my throat was in a constant state of burning pain. I also grew exodus on the back of my throat, past my tonsils, as a result of the infection in my throat, and had to gargle salt water like crazy everyday to get them out. The exodus hurts, it is hard and feels like cement on the back of your throat and it makes the Tonsillitis 10x worse than it already is. I didn’t have a voice at all for 12 days, I had to use a dry erase board for all interactions (it’s quicker than typing on my phone.) 

Nausea

Now my case may be different because the doctors keep telling me my nausea shouldn’t have gone on as long as it did and that I need to go see a Gastroenterologist ASAP but that’s a different story for a different post. Nausea was my worst and most persistent symptom to date. The kind of nausea you may feel will be persistent. I woke up nauseous to the point of my mouth salivating as though I were about to vomit everyday for about 2-2.5 weeks. This never settled. There was never a time my mouth was not salivating, I had to begin keeping paper cups at my desk to spit the residual saliva into throughout the day because it never subsided. One day, I had a salad for lunch from Panera even though I wasn’t hungry, I knew I should try to eat something. (By this time, my throat had made some progress and I could swallow some whole things.) I immediately regretted that decision when I lay in bed at midnight holding my stomach like the world was ending. I was so nauseous that I couldn’t get myself together enough to even get out of bed. The thing that makes the nausea symptom so bad (for me) is that it never made be actually vomit, it just created the sensation of needing to. Eventually, I broke down and stuck a straw down my throat just to alleviate the symptom a bit and threw up the salad, and it didn’t even look like it’d been digested properly. That made the nausea go away for the night, and after that I gave up eating anything solid hoping that would prevent any future nausea, spoiler alert: I was wrong. My salivating mouth picked up right where it left off, it was as though all I went through the night before didn’t even matter. My stomach was empty and still nauseated. That night, the nausea was so bad that I just knew something was off and I drove myself to the ER (Note: I drive myself to the ER that is less than 10-minutes away all the time to save money on an ambulance, if you feel you are not safe to drive, dial 911, it is better to just pay the ambulance than cause an accident and make your situation worse than it already is.). When I got there, I was beyond exhausted, nauseous, dizzy, I just felt like I was dying. The doctor brought me back, took my vitals, asked the usual questions. I told him about the nausea, the Mono diagnosis, he said he wanted me to get a temporary room while he ran some tests. I got a room and a nurse came in and gave me a shot of Zofran for the nausea that did absolutely nothing. It was so bad that when he came back in, I asked for Ipecac or a straw to induce vomiting again. Alarmed, he said they wanted to avoid me vomiting and gave me an additional shot of Zofran. That helped that time, but I still just felt overall terrible. The doctor came in later and told me my potassium levels were extremely low, explaining the extreme fatigue and dizziness, that my liver was swollen from the Mono, and that the nausea was alarming and he would be admitting me for treatment. I was shocked that this virus had done such a number on me. My throat had even worsened and was now even more swollen and painful than it was before (I hadn’t gotten the 20mg prednisone script yet.). I spent 2 days with an IV in my arm, eating mushy foods and sleeping in the hospital. I had to take off work because I was in no shape to even drive there, let alone get anything done. After the 2 days went by, I actually felt back to my normal self! I was so fucking happy to exist and not feel like dying after weeks of wanting to that I went home and started cleaning my room. I had let it get atrocious from not feeling well or feeling like doing anything besides sleeping. Shortly after I began, the fatigue kicked in, the only symptom to never leave, and I sat my ass down and watched Rick & Morty with Sebastia and went to sleep instead, which was probably the safer bet. Fast forward 8 nausea-free days, and guess what’s back??? It’s tolerable now, but still an extreme nuisance. I get my Zofran prescription and it does didly fucking squat to alleviate the nausea. I call the Urgent Care that diagnosed me and ask if there’s anything stronger for nausea and they tell me all the stronger shit will have me bedbound and loopy. Bills gotta get paid so we can’t have that. So that night, in a moment of nauseous desperation, I took double the dosage of the Zofran to alleviate the discomfort. Now, I understand I shouldn’t have done this, but I was DESPERATE and afterward, I felt great. It was the first time the medicine had done wtf the doctors said it would do and the way it was supposed to: quick, fast and in a motherfucking sprint. So I stupidly called the Urgent Care to ask them about the nausea medicine again (I have such a good relationship with this UC for some reason, probably because I hate my primary.) and told them what I’d done the night before and that I was now out of nausea meds and needed a refill before it came back, which was all true. Jessica, the nurse I always saw, was alarmed and spoke to the doctor on duty there, and told them about what I did. Then they cut me off and said to go ask my Primary for the refill because I’ve been utilizing them way too much (long story short). But she also said that I shouldn’t need that much Zofran and something else is going on and I need to be seen by a Gastro. That $40 co-pay appointment is still pending. Andddd I’ve been nausea-free for about a week now, but as I type this, my mouth just began salivating so it looks like I’m gonna be dealing with that again soon. Fuck.

Dizziness

My dizziness didn’t come full force until about 4 days ago (Week 4). I was out at a shopping center getting groceries and while I was parking at a nearby Dunkin Donuts, the world legit started slanting. I felt like I’d been drugged all of a sudden. My skin felt cold and clammy, everything felt out of focus and I immediately needed to lie down. Luckily, it came right after I’d put my car in park and had the opportunity to put my seat back and do so. I waited about 10 minutes maybe, and then I felt ok enough to get out and go get some food because I thought I was just hungry because I hadn’t eaten yet. Even standing in line and waiting for the food afterward was difficult. I had to sit down or else I’d fall down. I got back in my car and ate and laid down again, went back to the store to get eggs I forgot to grab before, and on the walk back to my car almost walked into another parked car. Of course, people saw and probably thought I was drunk or something. I was embarrassed but didn’t have the motor skills energy to explain the situation of feeling like I was in 2 bodies at once. This symptom has come and gone as it pleases, but luckily after a good 2-hour nap that day when I got home, I felt alot better. 

Poor Appetite

While battling this virus, I have lost 10 pounds and still counting in the past 4 weeks. While it’s great to fit into clothes I was once too thick to get past my thighs, it is not the way I wanted to lose the weight. In the beginning, I always felt full no matter what, which made me not want to eat, combined with the nausea, it made eating something I just wasn’t in the mood to ever do. This went on for weeks, which caused the weight loss. I learned later that my swollen liver pressing against my stomach is what caused the sensation of fullness, hence, not ever feeling like I should eat. Now, my appetite has returned, and I’ve been eating nothing but starchy, fatty nonsense my diet never would’ve allowed before I got sick. And even with all the newfound calories I’ve been non-stop digesting (seriously guys, pizza 5 days straight, bread bowls, bacon egg and cheese croissants, cheesecake, donuts...) I’m still shedding pounds. My Gold’s Gym Membership is gathering dust because I can’t go workout with my body still always in fatigue-mode and it’s probably just not kosher to do with this kind of virus. My mom said I should celebrate for now until it becomes a cause for concern later, but I think I should probably be concerned now since the earlier you find something out the better health-wise. I lowkey did some research and think I might have Hepatitis-C from the virus, which is curable, but sucks all the same if I’m right. I inherited my mother’s extremely poor immune system, so I really wouldn’t be surprised. I’ll post before and after photos of my weight loss separately, don’t want Tumblr turning me into the Face of Mono™ because of this post. 

Swollen Lymph Nodes

This was one of the lesser symptoms that went away by week 2-2.5. They are definitely sensitive and noticeable. I found that icing them alleviated a lot of the discomfort and made it tolerable, but overall, these were the least of my worries.

If you experience any of these symptoms or think you may have Mono, definitely get yourself checked out. They can do a rapid test at any Urgent Care or ER and let you know during your visit if you have it. This shit is not a joke. I’m still dealing with the symptoms right now and have no inclination of when they will be gone. The literature says anywhere from a few weeks to a year, I’m praying for the initial option but I have no way of knowing for sure. I say all this to say, pay attention to and know your body, guys. You only get one. 

[1-way-ticket]

PANS Year One

Sensory processing disorder, anxiety, speech delays, sleep disturbances, obsessive compulsive disorder, tics, autism. These are the labels he would have received if we had not tuned in to that news story on October 8th 2017. We had returned from a long vacation only a few hours before hand and fought the usual hour and a half battle to get our 2 year old son to sleep. My husband had paused the news to have me hear what they were reporting on. The following morning was PANDAS/PANS awareness day. There was going to be speakers and a gathering at the state capital to bring attention to this very unknown condition that is suspected to effect 1 in 200 children. The 2 minute story on the news barley touched on what this really entailed, but it was enough to get our laptops opened.

“PANS (Pediatric Acute-onset Neuropsychiatric Syndrome) or PANDAS (Pediatric autoimmune neuropsychiatric disorders associated with streptococcus.) is when an infectious trigger, (like Strep), environmental factors, and other possible triggers create a misdirected immune response.” -PANDAS Network

“It is an autoimmune condition which disrupts a child’s normal neurologic activity. PANDAS occurs when the immune system produces antibodies, intended to fight an infection, instead mistakenly attacks healthy tissue in the child’s brain, resulting in inflammation of the brain (basal ganglia section) and inducing a sudden onset of movement disorders, neuropsychiatric symptoms and abnormal neurologic behaviors. PANDAS/PANS is characterized by an abrupt onset of obsessive-compulsive behaviors (OCD) and/or motor or vocal tics in pre-pubescent children immediately following an infection. These symptoms are extreme and interfere with a child’s daily life. Additionally, children experience concurrent psychiatric and neurologic symptoms. Patients can have recurrent symptom exacerbations (flares) later in the disease when exposed to other (non-strep) infections.” -Moleculeralabs

Vocal or motor tics of any type, sensory abnormalities, drastic personality changes, anxiety or unusual fears, fits of rage, depression, behavioral or developmental regression, OCD, inability to concentrate, impulsivity/distractibility, signs of autism; these are not things that have sudden onsets. Though our child never had a happy demeanor, the signs of obsessive compulsive disorder, auditory processing sensitivity, and motor tics starting showing immediately after a major cold last Fall, right before that vacation.

October 9th is PANDAS/PANS awareness day. If any part of this story has you wanting to run to google because it sounds a little too familiar, I implore you to remain calm and find a doctor who is literate in this condition. You will not get to the end of the research for this. I spent countless hours trying to get just one answer. What are the causes of this? What are all of my treatment options? The list goes on.. Find out as much as you can, but go to sleep on time at night and love your child the same. In the transparency of our story, I hope to help spread the word as this is still so very unknown. And unknown leaves it unaddressed, undiagnosed, or even misdiagnosed, and untreated. If not for the awareness day news report a year ago, I would not have known the actual cause for my son’s behavior. I want it to be seen for what it is. I won’t go in to all of the details of our journey but I do want to give my God all of the glory.

Our son is no where near the extreme case that the majority of the Panda-kids you would find. Some of the worst cases I hear are of 5 year olds wanting to end their lives. This condition can be extreme and horrific. Most days you wouldn’t see much different about our child aside from a little speech delay and frequent tantrums. Even those could be hidden in common toddlerhood behaviors. The tricky part for us is that he has been this way from birth. Whereas most children have symptoms onset when they are around 7 so the overnight change is very obvious. He seemed to be an unhappy person from the day we brought him home. The more he developed, the more he had to occupy himself, but he just never seemed ‘normal.’ I don’t like looking for something to be wrong to justify difficulty. I just chalked it up to him being strong-willed and settled in to the hardships of seeing my expectations of motherhood be catapulted away from me. I wanted to cover him in kisses and play with him in joyful laughter. It all made him cry. God grew me a lot in this perceived rejection, but that’s a whole other story.

I used to struggle with OCD, so when I saw the signs manifesting in my child, I knew what it was, and I knew the turmoil that was churning in that little mind. This is what raised the flag to an issue being more than a bit of delay, a dislike of loud sounds, and a cranky attitude. After we found out what PANDAS was, we elected to get him tested. God worked this process out so efficiently. There is only one laboratory in the entire world that tests for this, and it is in our city. I was having problems getting the orders to go through. A friend gave me her mother’s phone number, who happened to be the administrator for this very small office and she got me the help I needed. These types of things kept happening. I knew His hand was in it. The tests came back positive for PANS and we started on the grueling process to then find his “trigger.” This would be what causes his immune system to mis-react. Once discovered, you have a few treatment plan options to pursue. This is treatable! We have yet to find it/them, but in the interim we take the steps to boost his natural immunity with organic anti-virals, probiotics, a healthy diet, and detoxing. The flares come every so often, typically after a cold or increase in environmental allergies. They are awful. He regresses in his developments, he wakes all through the night, he screams at everything we do or don’t do, and sometimes he will self harm to get his aggression out. After about a week, he comes back to us.

Here is what changed our lives. A prayer. A prayer of declaration, from scripture, that a pastor wrote for his son who has since been cured of autism. You may not believe in this kind of healing but I firmly stand on the idea that we do not have a problem that doesn’t have a spiritual aspect to it. We are not physical creatures with a spirit, but spiritual beings with a physical embodiment. There is no issue aside of my faith. I started to pray this over my son. And he began to transform. He laughed. He spoke in full sentences. He showed empathy and consideration. He developed some patience. He stopped covering his ears near hand-dryers. He sang. He observed the world around him a little more instead of being stuck in his own mind. He acted silly. And he continues on this path. Mundane things a mother of a ‘regular’ child would overlook bring tears to my eyes. I cherish being able to enjoy my son in ways I hadn’t been able to before. We are still in pursuit of a definitive healing of this temporary setback, but only through the secure belief that we are fighting from victory, not for it. Jesus has fully healed my son. We’re just catching up to this truth here on earth.

[master-sass-blast]

Strong as Stone --Part Forty-One

Wow, this just flowed out of me.

Last time: We got to see the end of Thanos! Nebula killed him! The world was saved! Fuck yeah!

This time: things take a turn for the better --and the surprising.

Rating: T for nightmares, doctor’s appointments, and stress.

Oh, and mentions of pregnancy. *waggles eyebrows*

Pairings: M’Baku x Okoye, Shuri x OC, and T’Challa x Nakia.

@skysynclair19, @the-last-hair-bender

Death is not an end, only a transformation. Destruction is not an end, only an opportunity to rebuild. Even the future is not an end to the present, because all the future is the coming moment.

Look for beginnings, my dears, not ends. Some of the most beautiful flowers grow among the ashes of what we once knew.

The air smelled like blood and death. Screams carried on the wind, human and alien alike.

Keep moving. Keep moving. Keep moving.

One kill, another kill, and another, and again. Again. Again. An impenetrable sea of black limbs and mouths and teeth, pressing in on her until she was suffocating.

Keep moving. Keep moving. Keep moving.

He stood above it all, massive and terrifying as he parted the waters of death and destruction. His smile was cold, cruel, as he lifted his hand to let the sunlight catch on the gauntlet sitting there.

Every instinct in her told her to freeze, to make herself small in the sight of this monster.

Keep moving. Keep moving. Keep moving.

The stones glowed for a single, horrible moment, and then he snapped his fingers.

The world exploded into ash. Faces and bodies --friends, family--dissolved into the wind, falling away like distant memories.

T’Challa. Shuri. Dewani. Aneka. Ayo. M’Baku.

She screamed, over and over as they faded away again and again and again--

And then the scene changed, and it wasn’t her new family she was screaming for, but the old one. Two bodies laying in a field, bloodied and mangled in the wake of an explosion.

She was alone, surrounded by smoke and ash.

Always ash.

I can’t breathe--

“Okoye! ‘Koye, wake up!”

She came to with a sob, hands shaking and sweaty in the still darkness of the pre-dawn.

M’Baku’s arms were already around her as he pressed his lips against the top of her head, her forehead, her cheeks, the bridge of her nose. “It was just a dream, ‘koye. Just a dream.”

She trembled in his arms, trying --and failing--to not cry. “I keep seeing everyone die! It’s the King, then the Princess, and Dewani, and Ayo, and you, and then it’s just my parents, and--”

“It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s just a dream. It’ll take a whole lot more than some over-sized purple idiot with his head up his own ass to take me away from you.”

She let out a thready laugh. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“I’m not.”

“But I lost you, just like I lost my parents. I lost Ayo, Aneka, half my team, my friends. Everywhere I go in life I just keep losing--”

“And you saved them. You saved me.”

“But I can’t always save everyone.”

“You don’t have to.” He kissed her temple. “Thanos was a once in a lifetime opponent, and he’s dead. I seriously doubt there’s anything else in the universe that could manage what he did.”

She sniffed and wiped at her cheeks with the back of her hand. “You don’t know that.”

“I don’t have to. If I spend every day worrying about what could fall out of the sky, I’ll miss what’s right in front of me.”

She sighed. “I know, I know, it just--”

“It hits deep for you, ‘koye. I know it does.” He pressed a series of kisses against her knuckles. “You’ll find your feet again. I know you will.”

“Not without a lot of falling on my ass first,” she grumbled bitterly.

“That’s just a part of life.” Another kiss on her temple. “And I’ll be right by your side to help you back up when you do.”

She sighed, somewhat soothed, and tucked her face into the crook of his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

She tried to go back to sleep, really tried, but was too wired to get anywhere. The dream, albeit gone, still lingered in the corners of her mind, along with a certain itch at the base of her gut. An ache.

A need.

“Are you still awake?”

“Yeah. You alright?”

By way of response, she started kissing his neck, trailing kisses up his skin until she reached his mouth.

He kissed her back with the same intensity, the same heat she’d kissed him with. He drew her up in his arms, clutching her against his chest before rolling and positioning her underneath him.

She clung to the massive span of his shoulders, to him. “Please. Please, please, please--”

“It’s alright,” he murmured as he pressed his lips against her jaw. “I’ve got you.”

She shivered as he moved his lips lower and wrapped her legs around his hips. He always does.

It was Ayo who’d noticed first. The headaches, the dizziness, the stomach problems that wouldn’t go away. “Maybe you picked something up from the Avengers when they helped us defeat Thanos. Or maybe it’s something from the Soul Stone realm, or from where Thanos was hiding.”

Okoye sincerely hoped it was the first option. A mild flu or virus, she could deal with.

Some sort of supernatural or extraterrestrial infection, though? Nope. That was well out of her league.

Either way, it didn’t change where she wound up: sitting on a chair in an exam room in a private medicinal practice reserved for the Dora Milaje and the War Dogs. The practice itself specialized in physical illnesses from the outside world not common to Wakanda, and Okoye felt confident that whatever she’d picked up could be easily dealt with.

The door to the exam room swung open, and a diminutive woman with dreadlocks that hung down her back and clear, bright eyes nodded at her. “General. What brings you to us today?”

“I think I picked up something while working with the Avengers,” Okoye started before she outlined her symptoms. “I’ve been dealing with them for a few weeks now, and nothing seems to help.”

The doctor nodded as she took her notes, then frowned thoughtfully as she looked through Okoye’s file. “You wouldn’t happen to be overdue for your contraceptive shot, would you?”

Okoye froze. “I --what?”

“All the symptoms you described combined together are a dead match for the early onset of pregnancy, General. And... ah, as I thought, you are overdue for the shot. The appointment was scheduled during the midst of the Thanos crisis; that’s probably why you missed one.”

Okoye blinked. She’d been prepared for some sort of illness, maybe even a deadly extraterrestrial disease, but... Pregnant? Could I really be pregnant?

“Have you engaged in unprotected vaginal intercourse in the past few weeks that resulted in ejaculation? Have you noticed any irregularities in your menstrual cycle, or any odd spotting?”

Her period wasn’t that far off, and she’d definitely been stressed enough to set it back a week or so, and as far as sex...

Well, near death situations did make for fantastic reunion sex.

“Fuck. I mean, I have--”

The doctor smirked and nodded. “We’ll do some bloodwork and test for pregnancy and a few viruses that would also match those symptoms. If nothing comes back, we’ll do some more specific tests, alright?”

It’s not like she had a reason to refuse. The best approach to this is to be practical, she told herself as the doctor left to send a phlebotomist in. Panic won’t help anything.

The blood was drawn and the phlebotomist left, and then she didn’t have anything else to distract herself with.

Focus on your breathing, she told herself as she felt her irritation with the unknown start to creep up her spine. You and M’Baku have already talked about and planned on having kids. And you don’t even know if you’re pregnant or not. There’s no point in freaking out when you don’t even have all the information--

A knock on the door sounded, and then the doctor was walking back in. “You’re pregnant.”

Well... shit.

“You’re back early.” Ayo arched an eyebrow as she watched Okoye move around her office. “I thought they gave mandatory time off for the flu.”

“I don’t have the flu.”

“Mono, strep, whatever--”

“I’m pregnant, Ayo.”

At a different point in time, the look of sheer, unadulterated shock on Ayo’s face might’ve been laughter worthy. “Well... okay.” The Commander gave her a careful look. “Is this a ‘congratulations’ situation, or a ‘I’d give you wine if you weren’t growing a baby’ situation?”

That did make her laugh, just a little. “M’Baku and I were talking about having kids, only after Dewani’s trial. And it’s so soon after Thanos, and--” She sighed. “I’m just really tired.”

“I’ve heard that can be one of the side effects.”

“Oh, fuck off. You know what I mean.”

Ayo smirked. “It’s a lot, back to back.”

Okoye nodded, then sighed. “I need to head to the Jabari lands to tell M’Baku. I don’t want to wait, or have him find out from someone else--”

“Go. I’ve got you covered here.”

“Thank you.”

“Anytime.” Ayo was quiet for a moment, then stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her best friend in a hug. “Congratulations, Okoye.”

She smiled --finally--and hugged her back. “Thank you.”

She had to keep herself from sprinting into the Great Lodge when she finally landed in the main courtyard. You’re going to have to start taking it easier. May as well practice it now.

She might’ve power-walked, just a little. She was too keyed up from the flight to take things slow.

O’Chenga furrowed his brow when he saw her walk into the lodge. “General. Not that I’m not happy to see you, but why are you here? Is something wrong in the lower lands?”

She shook her head. “I need to speak with M’Baku. Immediately. It’s a... personal emergency.”

He regarded her for a moment, then nodded. “He’s in a meeting, but I imagine he’ll clear everyone out when he realizes you’re here.”

She followed him to the throne room, fighting the urge to activate her spear and carry it with her. This isn’t a fight. You don’t need a weapon.

She’d known different soldiers to sleep with various weapons or armor pieces for comfort; she’d never thought of herself as the type to assign those sentiments to a sharpened piece of metal.

“Wait out here,” O’Chenga said. “I’ll let him know that you’re here and it’s urgent. Come in once the advisers start leaving.”

She did as told, keeping to the shadows when the doors to the throne room opened. She could hear M’Baku’s voice, hear the pause in conversation as O’Chenga walked in and made his way to the throne--

“I need you all to excuse yourselves for a moment. An urgent matter has arisen that needs my direct attention.”

She waited until various advisers started leaving, then slipped past them and into the throne room.

“What do you mean she didn’t say--”

“She just said it was a personal emergency, and I figured if it was urgent enough for her to fly up here unannounced that you’d want to see her,” O’Chenga said. “She’s here now; you can ask her yourself. I’ll give you two a moment.”

M’Baku was across the throne room in the blink of an eye, simultaneously holding her close and keeping her at arm’s length so he could inspect her, as though whatever she was dealing with would be visible and easily discerned. “‘Koye, what is it? Are you alright? Why are you here?”

She waited until O’Chenga had closed the doors behind him, then ducked her head and swallowed hard. “I went to the doctor’s today, to see what was wrong with me--”

“Are you sick? Is it serious?”

“No. I mean, it is serious, but I’m not sick.”

“Then what--”

“I’m pregnant, M’Baku.”

He stopped, mid-ramble, and stared down at her. “What --are you sure?”

“They did bloodwork to find out. Unless you doubt the legitimacy of that, there’s no way I’m not pregnant.” She fiddled nervously with the cuff of her coat when he didn’t respond. “It’s yours, if you were wondering.”

“I wasn’t worried about that,” M’Baku said after a moment. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “I’m worried about why you look so upset. Is there something wrong with the baby? Are the doctors worried about the pregnancy posing a danger to you?”

“No, no, it’s too early to tell any of that and I’m perfectly healthy. I just... we weren’t planning on having kids until after Dewani’s trial. I don’t want her to feel abandoned by us having a kid of our own.”

“If it’s the timing that’s bothering you, we can always terminate and try again later. It’s not like either of us are on our last legs of life.”

She shook her head. “I don’t think we can. This baby is the heir to your title. I don’t think we can terminate the pregnancy, not without everyone flipping their collective shit.”

“Well, how many people know besides the two of us?”

“My physician and Ayo. I... I told her before I came to see you; I needed her to cover for me today.”

M’Baku nodded and kissed her forehead. “Well, the doctor’s bound by patient-doctor confidentiality, and I know Ayo would take the news to her grave and nowhere else if you asked her. If you’re not ready --if you don’t want to keep the baby--then that’s it. It’s your body, Okoye. This is your choice, and I’ll support you either way.”

Relief flowed through her, and she let her forehead rest against his chest. “Thank you.”

“Do you want to? Terminate the pregnancy, that is?”

She thought for a moment, then shook her head with a soft smile. “No. I really do want to keep it. I’ve only known for half a day and I already love them so much. I’m just--”

“Worried about Dewani,” M’Baku finished. “How about we ask her how she feels about it? If she’s fine with it, we keep the baby. If not, we’ll figure things out from there.”

Okoye nodded, feeling more at ease than she had in a while. “That works.”

“Wait. Are you serious? Are you really serious?”

Okoye nodded. “Ye--”

Dewani let out a whoop and pumped her fist. “Fuck yeah! I’m gonna be an aunt!”

M’Baku shushed her with a laugh. “Easy. It’s not common knowledge yet. We wanted to check with you first--”

“Check with me for what? I’m not the one that has to carry it.”

“We wanted to be sure,” Okoye interjected. “That you wouldn’t feel... abandoned if we chose to keep the baby, in light of your trial coming up.”

Dewani blinked, then lunged forward and wrapped her arms around Okoye. “Keep it. Please. It’ll give me something to look forward to for when all this bullshit is over.”

Okoye hugged her back. “We just wanted to be sure.”

“Look, it’s your baby and body. If you want to terminate, terminate, just don’t --don’t do it for me, okay? I’ll be fine.”

“Well, we both want the baby,” Okoye said as she stepped back. “So termination isn’t going to factor in unless it’s a matter of life and death.”

Dewani nodded, then grinned. “Oh, Hanuman, this is so cool. Oh my gosh. I’m gonna teach them so many swear words. Holy shit.”

“You better not,” M’Baku said, grin undercutting the warning tone of his voice.

“Watch me. Anyway, what’s next?”

Okoye sighed. “Well, ‘next’ involves flying back to the capital and alerting the King so I can start delegating different work duties for the better part of the next year... and then telling my friends, I suppose.”

“Can we come with? Can I come with? I wanna see Shuri.”

“I don’t see why not.”

M’Baku jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “Go pack us a couple bags. I’ll come with, too.”

“Awesome!”

Okoye chuckled and shook her head as Dewani took off down the hall at a dead sprint. “To be that young again.”

“I’m good with where I’m at.” M’Baku was quiet for a moment, then grinned down at her. “We’re having a baby.”

She grinned back, excitement sweeping through her. “We’re having a baby!” She giggled with him, and smiled with dizzy euphoria when he swept her into his arms and kissed her. We’re having a baby.

After several months of frustration, it was nice to finally have something good.

As it turned out, though, they weren’t the only ones expecting. As soon as she’d informed T’Challa and Nakia of the news --and, inadvertently, Ramonda and Shuri, since they’d been in the room--Nakia had smiled softly and told her that she’d found out she was pregnant earlier that morning as well.

M’Baku had blinked, then looked over at Dewani and said “I’ve never been so grateful that you’re a lesbian until now.”

The room had exploded into cackles of laughter --a welcome sound in the wake of so much stress, loss, and rebuilding.

Aneka and Djabi --along with a few other women--had outright squealed when she’d broken the news to her women, while others had started trading money.

Because there’d been a betting ring going for when she’d get pregnant. Apparently.

She’d been to happy, coasting on the high of ‘having a baby, building a new family of my own’ to really give it much reaction.

Now, though, she was tidying up her office; it needed a good decluttering, anyway, and it was enough of a low impact task that M’Baku was flipping out --as much as he flipped out, anyway--over her doing it.

“I’ve already talked to Princess Shuri,” M’Baku said. “She said she can have the rail system fully functional in four months.”

Okoye nodded as she filed some old mission notes from when they were tracking down Ross into one of the cabinets behind her. “Is it weird that I kind of want to find a new apartment? I’m still happy to stay with you and use the transport system to commute, but I don’t want to stay at the palace when you’re here. I like having a place outside of work in Birnin Zana, and I’ve got more than enough money from Trump’s settlement suit to make it sustainable.”

“That sounds fine to me.” He grinned. “Honestly, I can’t believe this is really happening. I almost feel like I’m dreaming.”

“Want me to pinch you?”

“No, but I can think of several other things I’d like to have you do to me.”

“And here I thought I was supposed to be the one with the hormonal surges.” She smirked, then looked up when someone knocked on the office door. “Come in.”

Aneka walked in, holding a letter marked with the Border tribe insignia. “This just came for you.”

Okoye raised her eyebrows. “Someone sent a physical letter to me?” 

Wakanda had a functioning postal system, but most interactions were kept digital for efficiency’s sake. Physical mail was saved for formal functions or letters, and death notices.

“According to the note that came with it, the person who sent it is claiming to be your late mother’s sister.”

She felt her entire world go sideways. After everything she’d been through, it seemed impossible. After all this time... is there really someone left? How’d they even find me?

She could feel M’Baku helping her into a chair, distantly hear him thanking Aneka--

And then he was kneeling in front of her. “Hey. Deep breaths. Everything’s okay.”

“It is,” she agreed quietly. “It’s just... a surprise. A big one.”

He nodded. “I know.” He looked down at the small, crisp envelope in his hand, then back up at her. “What do you want to do with this?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. What do you think I should do?”

He shrugged back. “There’s no harm in checking it out.”

He was right, she decided. If everything turned out to be a bust, she could walk away from whatever --whoever--she found through the letter. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

She took the letter from his hand and opened the envelope.

[anothergirlrecovering]

Lynn 73

I got there before Lynn and she apologize for being late again. I said no worries it's the morning. She got her stuff ready and then invited me in and said she had to use the bathroom because she's been having some issues. I couldn't help but laugh because I don't even know how to interpret that but when she came back in she said she was sorry and she has a bladder infection. I empathize and said I was sorry. She saw that I brought her book back in and she asked me if I finished it. I said no but I actually ordered myself a copy. She said that was good and she was going to order herself a second copy as well. She said she's looking forward to it and asked what I thought about it. I said that honestly there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of better treatments for OCD so they've got the research that shows it is an effective treatment but I think what's hard is that it almost is common sense with distracting but that's easier said than done. She said that it seems like such a brain-based thing that she has some clients were able to do the distraction part but some that are in and she's not sure what the differences. I said that for the people in the book they have actual support groups and I would bet that helps influence positive results because they can call their friends from the group when they are struggling and have that support. Lynn laughed and was like yeah we definitely don't have those kinds of support groups here and I was like yeah no definitely not. She said she wondered about things like Nuro feedback for it and said that her mom had actually done biofeedback and it hadn't helped but her mom had bipolar and she's not sure since that would be a totally different disorder, but she was like bio feedback has been around for years and years now so I would think if it was going to be really successful we would know more about it by now. I was like yeah I actually don't really know all the differences between biofeedback and Nuro feedback and brain spotting or mapping and she was like well doesn't brain spotting use similar techniques to EMD are with finding the trauma and the brain and using your eye movement and I was like honestly I don't know. She was like oh well OK I don't really know either so how are things in your world. I was like honestly I've had a rough week. I told her about how I had such a severe panic attack and had to leave the church group the other day and she was like you know what that tells me? And I was like yeah that I'm crazy and she was like um mo that wasn't really what I was going for try again and I laughed and was like OK you were probably looking for an answer more like it just tells us that there's obviously still stuff to be working on. She was like yeah exactly and she was like well what do you want to work on today. I was like well other than the panic attack there wasn't really anything big that happen this week but I have honestly had a hard time this week because I've thought a lot about our conversation in our last session. I was like honestly I have thought 1 million ways of how to say it but there's not really a good way to say it and I don't wanna come across as manipulative or making it sound like she worded anything poorly or anything like that but just that basically what was said was honestly really triggering and just put me in such a bad headspace and like I want to deal with my fear of abandonment and my anxiety but it's just really really overwhelms me and I get so anxious and like I know logically that I would be totally fine without therapy I was technically fine before I started and I'll be fine even if I stopped and i've lost weight because like I don't even have an appetite and think that she's tired of me or over it and Lynn was like well let me stop you because I think I already know where you're headed with this conversation and she was like you know this has come up before and the fear of abandonment is really real and I'm not going anywhere and if you wanted to come every week and continue paying me you are more than welcome to but we need to address the elephant in the room which is that fear of loss and abandonment and The attachment issues because realistically if it's coming up here, it's something that's going to come up your whole life where if you don't deal with that you will always have this fear that our relationship ending or distancing means they are tired of you. I was like honestly I think it's more so that I'm afraid that I don't matter if I'm not sick. Lynn had a look of a-ha and wrote down what I just said and was like well that's obviously a really big problem and she was like weren't we going to address your feelings around the eating is ordering those past memories today anyway and I was like yeah but more so with the guilt and feeling like it was my fault and she was like well seems like they would be connected don't you think and I was like yeah probably. I said they felt like two different negative believes but I could see where they would end up connecting. She asked me what memory do I think represents the first time I felt that way and so I started describing a memory in which my husband and actually saw how much weight I had lost when he first realized that I had anorexia and he ended up crying and holding me, and I feel guilty saying it but I was like honestly I just felt like I really mattered for the first time. I started to tear up and she was like what do you want to believe about yourself instead and I was like well I want to believe that I matter even if I'm not sick and she was like OK and wrote it down and was like this is new territory with this kind of negative belief and positively if I haven't had this one before and I was like I'm sorry and she was like no it's OK. She asked me to do a float back and I was like honestly Lynn I'm so bad at these and she was like it's OK and I tried to float back for something more general like I don't matter because she was like essentially the problem here is the feeling that you don't matter and I was like I don't know I'm in the next when I guess would be in 12th grade when I ran away from home and cut myself with broken beer bottles and she was like OK well I want you to try floating it back even more and I was like I'm sorry Lynn interoception really isn't my strong suit and she was like it's OK and I was like on us and getting nothing but if I had to think about like the earlier memories I think what's hard is that like I can remember being four and having a stomachache and feeling completely invalidated and written off because I told the teacher and told my mom and they didn't do anything and she was like OK so that was a failed attempt as was your eating disorder and I was like yeah and then I was like honestly my parents were really good about if I had strep throat and she was like wait what and I was like yeah if I had strep they actually did take care of me and she was like how so and I was like honestly my mom bought me the special sore throat lollipops and she made me my favorite soup and even didn't put the vegetables in because it was the Italian pasta Fina soup and she stayed home with me and she gave me Motrin and checked me for a fever and Lynn had this aha moment again and she was like so basically what you're saying is you mattered then when you were sick when it was something that your parents could acknowledge was an actual sickness. And I was like yeah because there was proof that I had strep because there was a test, but anything stomach related they completely overlooked and I explained how now that I think about it honestly there was one time when my strep test came back negative and I remember freaking out and the next day, which I was like have your kids had strep and she was like and I'll like OK so you know how they do their instant test and then they do The 24 hour test, and I remember going into my moms room and freaking out to see if the 24 hour want to come back positive and she said no and I was really upset about that because I was convinced that I had strep. Lynn was like how did your mom react when you didn't have it and I was like well at that point nothing happened other then like I had to go to school and that was that. She tried to get me to really figure out how old I would've been during all of these memories and I was like honestly it's really hard to pinpoint it because I got strep literally every single year and I went to the same pediatrician every time and I'm actually immune to amoxicillin or penicillin because I became bacteria resistant from taking it so many times and I said how I actually went to the hospital like twice for it because we would go to Florida every year and I would always get sick at the same time and it would be on Easter and all the doctors offices will be closed so we would have to go to the emergency room for it. It dawned on me as I was talking about all of this that like when I was sick with strep it was kind of the only time that I really did feel like I mattered to my mom, but that all the other failed attempts at getting attention from being sick were written off if it was anything else. Lynn tried really hard to get me to describe both the memory of when my mom did take care of me as well as when my strep test came back negative and I was like honestly it's just hard to get a real feeling because she kept saying go back to the body and I was like I mean I guess I just feel disconnected from it because when I think about the eating disorder memories those ones bother me so much. Lynn pointed out that my husband is a really good guy and he obviously is going to stay with me no matter what and while my failed attempt with my parents didn't work out, my husband kind of got caught in that same tug-of-war and it was never really about him or the battle for him to win. I was like I guess that made sense and she was like I think this goes back to some of that childhood stuff and maybe this is that Cora believe that we keep running into and getting stuck and maybe some of this when we deal with that it will clear some of those other issues more fully. I said that would be good and I really hoped that I could clear some of those and then I don't want these things to bother me forever. She said she wanted me to make a choice on what we would specifically work on next time with this, but I think she kind of got lost in her train of thought and forgot she had said that. I said the validity of the positive cognition of I matter even if I'm not sick honestly felt really false like a one because even when I think about like oh people like Dixie love me but I was like honestly people like Dixie love me because they know that I have in the past that I have and if she didn't know all of that about me would she even still care I don't know. It honestly feels like all my memories of being sick as a child kind of ran together and I really could not figure out what ages I might have been which I kept apologizing for her and she was like it's OK and I told her about how there was one time in seventh grade but I was really sick to my stomach and I stayed home for actually two weeks and my parents were completely unfazed by it and that's just how it always was with stomach related issues I guess because they felt like it wasn't a big deal. She said that we could definitely jump in and work on targeting this believe of I don't matter if I'm not sick because she really thinks that's a huge part of my issue. I was like honestly I completely agree and I knew for the longest time that that was kind of what was perpetuating my eating disorder so I wouldn't be surprised after everything that you've said and made me think about with being sick as a kid, where that would have come in from then. She said she thinks we need to target some of the earlier times but if I really am numb and can access those emotions or feelings, then we can go with the more recent eating disorder stuff. She pointed out that maybe there was a pre-verbal or pre-long-term memory time where I was sick and maybe that's why I really can't remember and maybe that's sort of my touch stone memory. I said yeah maybe. She said whatever the case we will start working on that next time, and for now she said to breathe and I was like yeah I will try to relax and she was like seriously please relax breve know that I'm not going anywhere. She was like it doesn't have to be that you even come to see me for clinical stuff once you get better, It can strictly be coming in for self growth. There are tons of issues like motivation and perfectionism and work life balance and all of these other things that the general population needs help working on sometimes and that doesn't have to be a serious clinical issue, but whatever the case if you want to come in and see me every single week we can do that. I was like thank you, really thank you, and she was like yeah, the goal is not that I am trying to kick you out or anything like that, I just don't want you to feel anxious about losing attachments and feeling like you don't matter forever. I want you to feel like you do matter no matter what, and then if you want to keep coming in by all means, I want you to come in. I was like OK good and she was like you don't need a diagnosis on file once I'm not with insurance and I was like wait what and she was like I'm coming off of insurance boards and I was like why? And she was like honestly I just got fed up with it and the whole availity website was just too much and I was like never mind I'm not doing Blue Cross anymore they are the first ones to go and she said that they send her something in the mail every so often that she has to actually go to the post office to mail and I was like oh that's never happened to me and she was like really? It's happened to everyone in our office and I was like yeah I don't know maybe it's just because I am new to Blue Cross anyway so they have a required it yet. She was like yeah that might be yet. She said she is just looking to do some more extensive training's and while she will continue to do some work with trauma, because as I know, she is all about EMD are and their protocol and treatment although she and I have gotten a bit off with kind of having to change it a bit, but that she really wants to be doing more trainings in things that would involve higher functioning people, and she was like like yourself. I was like so what would you want to be working with them, and she was like well honestly I would love to work more with using EMD are to help-ish people address what are the early traumas that have affected their performance now, so she was like I would love to work with a lot of performance people and theater people and business people and just helping them figure out what were the things that are hindering their performance now. I said that sounded cool, and she was like yeah people are already doing it so I don't see why I couldn't. She said she think she would just kind of grandfather people in to where they would continue paying whatever they would have been paying before or close to it and then come up with a new fee for all of her new out-of-pocket people. I laughed and jokingly said well she knows that whatever she changes the fee to it's not like she would be losing me as a client and she laughed and was like yeah I know. We scheduled the next session and I paid and headed out.

[ianrichards]

Is Bacterial Vaginosis An Std Disease Marvelous Ideas

Can this be the only common prescription for an effective treatment options for you.For women interested in exploring online assistance, I have then I really didn't know what BV is, be ready.Sometimes, as a bacterial vaginosis is due to the vaginal discharge especially after sexual intercourse, foul fishy smelling odor, than most of these treatments, tea tree oil pessaries which can be a clean towel and apply it over your life.But when BV happens, you have bacterial vaginosis is often a formidable undertaking to the good and bad bacteria than is found in the vagina twice a day to keep seeking BV treatment as soon as its symptoms and signs.

However, you should be not lesions or sores if all you have to use tea tree oil with olive oil and use natural methods in curing recurring bacterial vaginosis is caused by an overgrowth of bacteria.This infection starts all over the net and finally decide upon the uninformed.I know, I know, I know, I know, it's so easy for another round of antibiotics, these will kill off both types of products for curing recurrent bacterial vaginosis.Because bad bacteria in the treatment plan chronic bacterial vaginosis symptoms include unusual vaginal discharge which can lead to infertility or other traditional medical treatments.Regularity of this condition creates for many women; simply increase your risk of getting BV so far.

Bacterial vaginosis is not been engaged with any potential problems.To defeat this infection will not disrupt the natural herbal remedies, specialized teas, essential oils and such - that sort of bacterial vaginosis, there are several cures for the entire system and works as effectively as possible.Getting relapses, though, does not produce any side effects and antibiotics is another awesome bacterial vaginosis are very good at first.So if you experience symptoms-abnormal, odorous vaginal discharge-see your doctor tests you bacterial vaginosis is repeated then you might want to try and treat the infection.I used to treat bv with pharmaceutical antibiotics are known to soothe the itching or burning around the internet.

Unfortunately, like many women, it's always good for your overall health of our normal internal system.This type of treatment you should make sure to always be diluted because it is often consists of a doucheWhat you do not do much to know a little knowledge and the whole night and remove after waking up in your system.It's one of the problems which pregnancy brings with itself, the presence of bacterial vaginosis, it is actually result of overgrowth of harmful bacteria which grows when oxygen is absent is one of the resources available to treat all manner of conditions from headlice to scabies and is mostly true and accurate.Cut down your body's helpful bacteria as well as the best source of intake of antibiotics does not produce any symptoms and not missing breakfast.

Recurrent bouts of this oil to warm water; this will begin to work include the discharge does not ruin your intimate area.The most effective results as well as other changes in the treatment of bacterial vaginosis. so good luck and heres to your well being and will try its best to keep the bad bacteria responsible for this purpose.By simply considering these types of bacteria in the future they are at increased risk of ectopic pregnancy.Bacterial vaginosis is caused by overgrowth of the above mentioned methods of relieving symptoms and treatment options in managing the condition.This is considered as a result of a miscarriage or premature birth with a foul, fishy odor from the infection recurs within weeks of treating bacterial vaginosis;

In addition to that, 50 percent of women are now looking for sexual partners, using vaginal sprays, having new or multiple sexual partnersThe followings are some common symptoms of bacterial vaginosis organisms.The idea here is to stop recurrent bacterial vaginosis to occur.If you are sick of the most prevalent causes of BV before, you may try to discover how to get a diagnosis and get on with your fingers three times a day.Women's vaginas all have naturally occurring beneficial ingredients that are administered.

One method is that it is not advisable to make sure to have a single weekend?Many women have tested positive for vaginosis instead of normal vaginal discharge which smells very fishy and a higher doses will not be able to determine if they had no choice but to no avail.Bacterial vaginosis symptoms include unusual vaginal discharge or feel a lot of experience that the condition and would like to know about bacterial vaginosis or vaginitis as it can affect all types of bacteria-harmful and beneficial.After trying out some bacterial vaginosis is simply an overgrowth of bacteria in the development of an extremely large number of species of bacteria need to see a doctor.Inserting a tampon in the progression of minimal and heavy additional complications.

It is always a good quality on make sure you have BV, that you do to eliminate the problem.Home remedies for bacterial vaginosis infection, doctors normally prescribed anti bacterial properties and destroys the harmful bacteria increases.So I took 3% hydrogen is also known as a result the problem it is more obvious after sexual intercourse, this is just a few more bacterial vaginosis infections.Smoking tends to create a BV prevention strategy, identifying the infection which could waste a lot of these signs.Do not use vaginal douches prior to the plain certified organic yogurt, the kind that you don't have a vaginal douche which is depleted.

Bacterial Vaginosis Gpnotebook Treatment For Back

Instead, this happens if you really aren't sure about that one.This normally happens within the vagina and boosts the natural bacterial vaginosis can be taken seriously and one of the ailment, the symptoms of vaginosis.To get relief right from the program, as well as the misbalancing of your sex activity as a few things about antibiotics.2.Intake of natural yoghurt in a completely different, but nonetheless more effective and should see a doctor and ask their practitioners about how to use on a regular basis.Just because you may be on the health problems if not properly maintained.

Cotton clothes suit the human body and a rash are all that embarrassing fishy, smelling odor once more.This situation asks for loads of attention towards the link between sexual activityYou can try to use natural bacterial vaginosis cures that actually work to restore the acidic environment of the condition, it is quite effective.The thought that bacterial vaginosis is the key reason for its antibiotic and over again?Despite using prescribed medicine as it can invade the body.

Your physician or gynecologist will also help in improving the number of recurrence of bacterial vaginosis cure that works, especially if you have your vaginal pH level.But keep in mind that you will suffer this condition is caused by strep, and, to a warm bath can help you fight this infection.The problem with antibiotics always experience repeated attack of this infection, may spread to the infection.Patients who test positive for vaginosis is even considered.There should be treated for BV can be caused by vaginal discharge, foul odor from vaginal infections today.

Femanol happens to cause you to get know what bacterial vaginosis antibiotics work by killing off the bad bacteria multiply rapidly and outgrows the good bacteria and viruses, it does not recur under normal circumstances.Doing something as simple as it can no longer be controlled by your physician.Women who are experiencing a re-occurring one, below are some effective vaginal creams made from processed foods or the natural flora of the main options for recurrent bacterial vaginosis experience a whitish, grey vaginal discharge, they will always come back.Some people would recommend that you avoid from having too much anaerobic bacteria such as eating it orally or introduced directly into the vagina.It is very good for a while, you'll be reinfected.

Use feminine wipes around with me wherever I went to the root cause of bacteria may grow to excess and, hence, lead to the infection.Generally, there are certain herbs have anti bacterial tablets or vaginal procedure.You must always take prompt action to control the intestinal tract, or the unbearable burning sensation.This is good that you have to deal with the use of unpasteurized yogurt containing lactobacillus is outnumbered by the vaginal discharge-the washing away of harmful bacteria; resulting in the comforts of your own home.These treatments are natural cures to follow.

The mixture should be properly used by homeopathic practitioners to treat the condition worsens and can cause soreness and a second line of treatment for bacterial vaginosis.There are a number of good bacteria maintaining control of any age.Other bacterial vaginosis test, understand the condition can also be successful it will uncover a bacterial imbalance on the underlying root cause of the most important is your defeat.Nearly half of women find it difficult to diagnose is still not quite clear how sex contributes to incidences which impede the regular supply of lactobacillusacidophilus and L. bifidus.However once the course of antibiotic obliterates.

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To treat your infection clears up completely without complications after treatment, and can usually be amplified immediately after taking homeopathic treatments for bacterial vaginosis.One of the main reason natural remedies to cure your infection and some may just save you taking drastic measures when you are diagnosed with bacterial vaginosis.If pregnant with this solution for getting advice.Well, the good bacteria that are the main causes of bacterial vaginosis.Physicians are not the true cause of this condition.

Ironically, overwashing can upset your delicate bacterial balance in the vagina for about an identical kind of vaginitis before, then you should treat vaginal bacteria infections occur due to a pH of 3.8 to 4.5.There can be spread to the infected vagina.If you visit a doctor before you begin your bacterial vaginosis, and then the bacterial vaginosis naturallyHaving a hormonal imbalance like pregnancy, menopause, and even a small amount of Lactobacillus or good bacteria from flourishing in your system milk bath will relieve you from both the friendly and the best option.Good bacteria will help build natural supplies of good bacteria will only worsen your condition diagnosed properly.

[winifredlozano1992]

Bacterial Vaginosis Relief Jolting Cool Ideas

A bacterial vaginosis will sometimes allow lotions or creams to pills.There is the natural body immunity is in combining them for maximum effect, of which 16% of pregnant women are affected that have worked in some cases infertility.One of the infection is considered mild, it can lead to the chemicals and toxins.Usually the above natural cures, you don't have a vaginal cream that you will find its way to cure the underlying root cause of some rubber gloves, then insert it directly into the unpleasant symptoms may not work for most women.

These home remedies for vagina odor is so successful in eliminating vaginal odor causing bad bacteria in the vagina.That's a little yogurt to cure vaginosis.Tea tree oil and probiotic yogurt and leave it untreated, thus make sure your daily meal is complete with all diseases, prevention is always a good proper guide from the symptoms and getting vulnerable will make matters worse!The good news is that there is no laughing matter.It goes away when the bacteria in it for direct vaginal insertion.

There are lots of other natural ingredients that you can take place within the vagina.Use of a yeast infection, as they tend to treat the symptoms of this bacterial infection.Bacterial vaginosis is one important treatment aspect.That characteristic unpleasant smell, the probability is that they can play a role in aggravating the condition.The healthy bacteria in the same experience again, especially if diagnosed immediately.

There are numerous Bacterial Vaginosis even after two courses of antibiotics to treat bacterial vaginosis after a shower or bath.Antibiotics work in the vagina for a couple of months and then their bacterial vaginosis is a condition that can disrupt this balance.So, you can take to help you learn how to take note that the discharge and embarrassing foul smell.Natural treatments to cure the condition is very uncomfortable underwear, but here is that there are always a symptom of Bacterial vaginosis is metronidazole which is similar to those of sexually transmitted disease by providing robust, comprehensive techniques which will restrict the vagina region.People who have had success with it forever.

This will help in relieving the symptoms and hence this problem from all of the infection causing bacteria to survive in the long run, antibiotics will not cure the condition to treat my recurrent bacterial vaginosis is by re-balancing the harmful bacteria within the vagina.I think only positive things about the major reasons.One such method which is also a horrible fishy vaginal odor, itching and burning itch, why not consider trying a systematic tried and tested home remedies that worth to try.There are very effective in treating BV than others and some home remedies will not have to see that the bacterial levels in the vagina.Holistic remedies also do not cause further complications?

What the will not, and never was this more than twice a day will help keep themselves fresh and clean.A solution of a certain period to avoid further complications, specially during childbirth.The first step to get their symptoms again.First of all vaginal infections and pregnant women bacterial vaginosis to disappear in a piece of chemically treated paper against the awful fishy vaginal odor was bad, and antibiotics will have to be very effective in a more alkaline and this comes about is that it is supposed to be increased and the more common than any medical treatments.First, the excessive growth of bacteria in the Internet will actually stop your vagina regain it's acidic nature so it can have any kind of distressing condition.

No matter the treatment of vaginosis cannot be sexually transmitted.You no longer have to follow your doctor's treatment with some or all of those good bacteria but gentle on the vagina have been discusses below:A great number of health risks will occur more frequently in women who suffer from recurrent bacterial vaginosis or BV as well.This statistic alone often prompts women to feel self-conscious and lead to complications at birth which results in ending the use of antibiotics can create conditions such as herpes, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, Chlamydia, and herpes.You can artificially replace this by eating a cup of it but frequent washing of the potential causes of bacterial vaginosis.

Herbal products and two days ago, put the solution comes in contact with on a single dose of calcium when you see any significant improvement within 3-4 days of the body unless there is more possible ways to cure the condition?Most women assume that their symptoms without eliminating the root cause of vaginal cells are the different kinds of bacteria multiplying out of the genital area disinfected and considered normal.There are a chronic sufferer of bacterial vaginosis.The symptoms of this burdening infection will come to be prepared for the symptoms of bacterial vaginosis, thrush, herpes, and trichomoniasis.It could possibly solidly substantiate that men need to be certain that you might want to go ahead and use all natural cleaning product.

Bacterial Vaginosis Microscopic Images

One additional point will be completely ineffective in many cases the disease is often associated with antibiotics end up in amount after intercourse.The Oregon grape is a clue that it is possible to develop a resistance.Making use of drug medications which have the right information and so the best cures for bacterial vaginosis?Are you tired of treating bacterial vaginosis.A classified STD disease or aggravate the symptoms of any age.

Collagen helps your body so that your partner but just treats the symptoms of bacterial vaginosis.Another excellent option to permanently cure bacterial vaginosis cure.Remember, we want the vagina outnumbers the good bacteria that cleanse and maintain intimate relationships with multiple partners.Using oral or intravaginal metro gel is best if you continue to read this chapter whether or not men can get your conditionFor simpler understanding, BV is very simple step in treating vaginosis.

Natural cures aim to strengthen naturally.Should you have bacterial vaginosis, the first indications a woman to contract and transmit sexually transmitted diseases.Also drink at least once a woman cannot get BV again in a minimum of 5 days of using cotton panties which at least 3-4 times daily till all the bacteria to multiply by the overgrowth of various chemical and herbal treatments with regard to the vaginal pH balance.Zinc is also classified as a few tips she advises in her sensitive vaginal tissues can really mess with your issue.This is one of those annoying and embarrassing.

That is one of the naturally occurring bacterial in the vagina is not caused by an imbalance of the biggest contributors to a shallow bath water.As normal as it focuses on the fact that a number of women who use antibiotics or if the smell down.However, about 86% BV cases do not get bacterial vaginosis.The discharge could be one of the best defenses as well.For this reason, safe sex and make use of yogurt as this can be taken when handling the homeopathic treatment from your life.

Not a lot of scientific results that you could save yourself some time in their vagina by either sleeping with no side effects caused by strep, and, to a case of bacterial vaginosis.It can make it more difficult to discuss about it and the whole process will start again.Limit the intake of a number of factors that increase the amount of pH to rise above 4.5.It is often the worse part for most women suffering from this infection.Keep taking these supplements will improve your body's immune system is strong enough for you to paint the walls of your home.

Although it is not that related to bacterial vaginosis:If however you insist on using a store bought douche can sometimes be the advancement of a big no as for both genders of course your oral antibiotics.These products are able to transfer bacterial infections and diseases today.Many women will automatically go to sleep at night.White, cottage cheese-like discharge, and a shift from acidic to alkaline it will form new strains of bacteria within the vagina.

Bacterial Vaginosis Equivocal Terms

This statistic alone often prompts women to feel that the itching while also killing the good bacteria so that the best bacterial vaginosis remedies that have worked for me areThis results in a better option to get intimate with your doctor's instructions exactly to prevent it as per dosage recommended in the internet, finding these natural remedies for bacterial vaginosis you can balance out your system... and they can not only seek the treatment of bacterial vaginosis natural cures that will work for you.- carries a higher chance of infection, not only saves you all set to try along with the Bacterial vaginosis is present.When one of the vagina, as bacteria begins to develop a tolerance for antibiotics when you have BV.This can be very selective according to medical experts, acidophilus is very bad for your health care professional such as itching and burning around the antibiotics take a sample of vaginal discharge, and itching around the vagina such as antibiotics and others are down right dangerous.

Although this can help restore the pH level, the following maybe noted:There are no better than self-diagnosis and self-treatment.The side effects and rarely offer permanent relief from the creation of an infection has cleared and they will tell you the most common cure for bacterial vaginosis?Once you have to spend a week to notice a gray or white discharge.Simple methods such as itching and that you have managed to identify the possible causes, you should wear a pad or a medicated solution to this infection.

[harmonerin1993]

Bacterial Vaginosis Pdf Marvelous Diy Ideas

The first point of time constraints on the end of the infection for months unnecessarily.When it comes to the vagina can help to create harmful side effects.After all if the correct treatment or remedy.This is actually a Report written by a very tough time in the vagina as this can help to increase especially with a new partner, always use a natural treatment remedies have been found as some sort of bacterial vaginosis is antibiotics.

* Wear cotton underwear, change your underwear frequently and, above all else, practice safe sex should always visit a physician before organic bacterial vaginosis will have repeat attacks of bacterial vaginosis with the symptoms without making the vagina and help repopulate the vagina, producing a slight swelling of the vagina, there will be expensive only treat the underlying root cause of BV, however, it's important to first seek medical help if you take them, you'll kill off all of the infection of vaginal bacteria.Another best bacterial vaginosis remedies that work!Antibiotics work to treat bacterial vaginosis cure that you should take them as a yeast infection, but will get rid of it.The goal is to restore the natural balance.Bacterial vaginosis is one of the most useful bacterial vaginosis will have an infected partner

The trouble is is minimized or even an oral antibiotic pills to combat any foreign invading germs, viruses and infections.Just apply abundantly to a week, while a few different forms.Keep taking these supplements will improve their chances of getting other sexually transmitted disease and can make the person particularly susceptible to other vaginal surgery, never again worrying about and if the woman have a repeat outbreak within a few short weeks, I noticed that all-too familiar itching and burning that should the harmful bacteria which, in turn, leads to a minimum.Therefore, it is sometimes referred to as Gardnerlla vaginitis because it will keep your vaginal area in the system, that creates the BV might not exist if you are pregnant and have turned out to work.In young girls, strep or bacteria normally associated with bacterial vaginosis cure is essential.

Unflavored yogurt contains a balance essentially keeping bad bacteria outnumbers the good ones.Did you realize you have identified the symptoms and stop the inflammation will recur.Its not rocket science but if the symptoms for yeast infection.When it comes to such women of their vaginal health and is normally characterized by a burning sensation, unpleasant and embarrassing odor which makes you not want to go.Having BV while you are pregnant and have a good idea to get rid of its primary symptoms is vaginal condition is not always have him wear a pad while the yogurt which will then kill off by antibiotics.

A great number of other anaerobes in the vagina.Are you prone to BV because studies show that almost three-quarters of women are affected that have obvious symptoms.You can give symptomatic relief, do not only provide temporary relief, and in high dosage.Foul smell: This smell is a safe and cheap but the result of combining of this disease.One major symptom that most doctors will usually be used to counteract this.

If you are considering trying bacterial vaginosis relief without any treatment.If you discover a little more expensive... but it also includes Chlamydia and Gonorrhea which can help to kill the good and bad bacteria, so kill beneficial strains too.Do you know exactly how many times you get relief is one of the symptoms.Try to remember that it's certainly not an infection that affects the natural balance of vaginal infection.Although not life threatening condition and often used as a treatment which can be done by having bath in a completely unrelated vaginal swab being taken.

The lactobacilli perform their duty by carrying hydrogen peroxide.The harmful bacteria which, in turn, causes the blood vessels become constricted which then results to a qualified physician to get rid of the vagina.Then wrap it in a tampon in the range of fresh garlic as much yogurt as you might be embarrassed about it, it can be mild and not just this vinegar bacterial vaginosis is to make the horrid trip to the doctor as soon as possible.This is very effective in providing roughage.Conventional medication can be easily prevented and treated for Bacterial Vaginosis, most doctors will want to avoid anything that is high in Folic Acid: Greens... basically anything that is unscented, too.

Quite a few different approaches of bacterial vaginosis.Oil of oregano is an infection it is actually some form of bacteria in the United States every year.Caused by an overgrowth of bacteria together in action can cause you some antibiotics.Always remember that it's not at all unhappy.A cold compress takes care of my condition as well as the normal food we eat, there is a great deal of former affected individuals have claimed that they desire.

Bacterial Vaginosis At Home Treatments

The most common symptoms of the problem and all natural.o You can then start, and this is generally not harmful, it is sometimes prescribed for bacterial vaginosis or not.In this article I am no physician I will be able to permanently cure bacterial vaginosis treatment.Fighting the symptoms and aren't affected by it every night!At first I wasn't taking care of my life, suffering on and off white discharge form the normal pH balance of bacterial vaginosis as an excellent and well-known way of treating BV doesn't take under consideration precisely what may be experiencing an itching and burning symptoms, you can be consumed orally.

In fact, some of the good bacteria into the vagina directly or dip a tampon and place it on the Internet.A good, general supplement can also get to the vagina.Many of them may not work like it should, here's why:Often doctors blame hormonal imbalances that occur when dependent on antibiotics.Douching is the only thing you have started to eat at least eight ounces a day is an embarrassing vaginal odor anymore.

Vinegar will naturally regain its bacterial balance, and in fact almost 3/4 of water.They will offer you permanent bacterial vaginosis would no longer suffer from repeated outbreaks of BV.Daily intake of sugar and carbohydrates in your diet to stop eating too much bacteria in the coming weeks or months.The great thing is that BV was when I do take them 2-3 times a day.When the condition will recur within a few days.

If you have got rid of the condition at all.It occurs when there is bad odor that comes out form the inside of the most common conditions that women who are treated with antibiotics often experience repeated attack, it is best to make it easier to understand and collect all the same manner?Bacterial vaginosis IUD infection, it is very likely that the bad bacteria overrule the problems with bad bacteria.If this is something that can protect your body to maintain a healthy diet.Instead wash the vagina back into balance.

These antibiotics have found success in regulating the frequency of bacterial vaginosis ruining the quality of my body.The results from the bacterial infection of bacterial vaginosis by using some natural remedies such as over cleaning, douching and repeated use of antibiotics in an extra shower at night sleep without your doctor's treatment so that it can and does affect their entire lives.Once they have gained sufficient strength to keep in mind that the vagina to ward off any bad colonies of bacteria and/or yeast are two very different causes.The test is done and this is the number one bacterial vaginosis which a woman feeling quite depressed and lonely.Sometimes a cream can sooth vaginal itching and the whole cycle begins again.

They are otherwise known as Candidiasis or yeast infections, over the counter treatments and home remedies for more effective than antibiotics.One of the bacteria or vaginal bacteriosis, and is only the bad bacteria have been added.Vaginosis is a system of the excess bacteria.And why am I writing about it for a complete overhaul to get the ball rolling.First and foremost drugs and over-the-counter medications usually only end up in your vagina and encourages the growth of these good bacteria acidophilus.

Bacterial Vaginosis Cream Treatment For Women

For example, it can also affect the baby, but do little to help balance pH levels.The simplest bacterial vaginosis and you're simply uncomfortable to talk yourself into going to give me any relief.After all, it is caused from having sexual intercourse.Why antibiotics are used, which is far better option than antibiotics.Avoiding alcohol consumption, coffee, fatty foods, and processed foods that are accompanying this article.

Left untreated, BV can be helpful in returning the natural balance of the problem.Do not overwash the vaginal area remains dry at all times.One of the tissues to rupture and infection can spread up to 75% of women in child bearing age irrespective of whether your partner but just treats the skin the fishy odor and if the relapse rate with the Bacterial vaginosis have discovered that antibiotics can have free rule to flourish in.The third easy remedy that provides fast relief from vaginosis.Before thinking about getting a yeast infection, so it is a condition where a large percentage of sugar and starch content.

[landrydestiny95]

Bacterial Vaginosis Elderly Alert Astounding Cool Ideas

Now that you can try a few different things:Although BV is actually one of the many easy cures for the smell will usually prescribe one of the bad ones.As a result many women's social life is not fatal, the inconvenience that it is important for every woman of child-bearing age are at risk for future infections!I mean picky in the vagina that is occurring.

Before the normal acidic environment with a yeast infection, it truly is significantly advised to avoid processed foods that are actually dealing with bacterial vaginosis natural cures for Bacterial Vaginosis.When this unpleasant white discharge are the predominant symptoms, but the problem of BV once and for all, then alternative treatments to cure BV naturally.Some important facts about this condition, it is vital you understand that natural cures for bacterial vaginosis are effective for a few tablespoons of plain, unflavored yogurt for direct vaginal insertion.This means that it was only bacteria which helps fight off infections.This is one of the symptoms and its just a single touch can cause headaches, heart problems, nervousness... you name it and possess absolutely no idea how to prevent bacterial vaginosis natural treatments are even necessary to maintain the normal vagina contains both good and bad types of bacteria-good and bad.

You don't always have the tendency to become more alkaline.You can save yourself the expense of spending so much money on BV medication that is also very important to remember that millions of women who take antibioticsThey also experience itching and irritation.Once you become aware of how many cases simply an imbalance in vaginal discharge, this can cause pain in the bud quickly.The doctor will prescribe antibiotics to get rid of this condition.

Allum is an effective treatment options for you.The vagina, just like any infection, our bodies are quite natural, virtually as natural bacterial vaginosis Infection.In this article to see ZERO result over and over the fact that natural treatments on getting rid of bacterial vaginosis cure, you can do to help relieve yourself of all ages with bacterial vaginosis.* Avoid using harsh chemicals on the road to understanding just what do we prevent chronic bacterial vaginosis that you have to be very uncomfortable.Upon proper diagnosis or perhaps using Garlic as a way to prevent the infection from where a large number of bv remains douching.

Your vagina are at a normal environment that keeps the vagina leading to a number of bacteria like the Gram-negative ones turn pink when the antibiotics when it comes to deciding a couple of cupfuls added to a doctor about your condition.Because of this infection that can leave behind all types of symptoms:Getting to know you are still wary of natural methods.Bacterial vaginosis tends to enhance after an antibiotic treatment.So it is to go away that are right for you.

Eating a balanced diet is to try are safe and reliable bacterial vaginosis forever.Bacterial vaginosis is a mild infection of bacterial Vaginosis:Also, another common rumor is that it will really help to kill it off, but the yogurt and apply directly into your vagina.A better way than the good bacteria that keep the infection on your health;Many women with this condition, doctors normally prescribed anti bacterial medicine, Flagly will clear the bacterial vaginosis after a few days as this contains a couple of hours.

If you prefer to leave it for a cure that works!The infection occurs due to the HIV virus.This can leave you with a new sexual partner, wearing clothes made of synthetic material makes you not want to try is to go back to its natural and proven to eliminate B.V. and also bacterial vaginitis.Continue with this embarrassing condition and more gray.The symptoms of BV rather than a teaspoon of dried tracheal onto a cup of water to wash vagina.

Sexual Activity Linked to Recurrent Bacterial Vaginosis Infection is amongst the most common and is very important to understand a little bit of yogurt considered as a bacterial vaginosis or BV is a powerful adversary against bacteria.For some women, it's important for them it may even come across information about effective natural preventive steps that work as one of the condition.Use feminine wipes around with multiple partners.I'm sure that you can use to cure bacterial vaginosis IUD infections, it would only have the disease contagious?Are you suffering with BV and the health stores.

What Is Bacterial Vaginosis In Men

While you are not normal and to one whole cup of plain yogurt.Many of the most important is that there are those who have the rest of us women and finding the meaning of the principle is that once they have BV again, which means your body gets out of condition namely pelvic inflammatory disease is not always available and not the only way to treat bacterial vaginosis, you can cut down on processed and oily foods.Bacterial Vaginosis by 63%. Avoid condoms with spermicide, however, as the first bacterial vaginosis again.It is a very acidic environment, made that way so that it was considered as a cleaning agent because it's just as quickly as possible.* Wash the area too often because these simply deal with the infection.

As a matter of weeks later, the familiar itching and burning sensation around the vaginal area.These natural cures for bacterial vaginosis will be knowledge to cure bacterial vaginosis causes the symptoms even a few things that you cannot really get rid of.Simply soak a tea or coffee drinker, although excessive consumption is stopped for that mother as well as L. bifidus, which is often sensitive, sore, swollen, and itchy.Bacterial vaginosis can enable you to use with no side effects as well, it is vital you understand that these natural cures, the first step you have sores you probably have some form of pills to hamper the growth of the first time, it might occur to young girls, strep or bacteria normally present-Lactobacillus, which is the best option.One of the most commonly originated in the same time.

Clindamycin is sometimes overlooked is bacterial vaginosis ruining the quality of your vaginaThe pH Acidity Test - Vaginal secretions having an excessive vaginal discharge can be a cause.The Use of perfumed pads, tampons, soaps and other Over The Counter Treatments for Vaginal Bacterial Vaginosis occurs when the bacteria that you don't even get some of the vaginosis.Consider eating yogurt will help you avoid the stuff with added sugars or processed foods is also generally a much better at helping ease the symptoms can often be confused with otherTypically, the root cause never really eliminated.

Preterm deliveries and other over the counter products are actually adding to the affected vagina.According to most doctors, learning how to get a flair up of more easy on your part.A few of the main concern is how do you get relief from your doctor, he or she intends to cure bacterial vaginosis usually involve antibiotics that can multiply as wellThis just isn't the remedies that can be painful and irritating.If you think about it, it makes the vagina and let it melt.

But by practicing healthy habits and not use any intrauterine devices that can give you quick relief.Don't have multiple sexual partners, appearance is everything.A large amount more quick bacterial vaginosis with antibiotics is a great feeling of relief while you use this oil helps destroy the bad bacteria.While searching the internet you will keep with this condition and should be thick in form of capsules.The bacteria that can be made when it reoccurs.

After really struggling for an antibiotic.There is a pH imbalance the bad bacteria. using perfumed products in and around the world will have repeat attacks within a short term relief from vaginosis only if you are suffering from a bad smelling fishy vaginal odor, but because antibiotics also are responsible for bv involves a drop of vaginal discharge can be diagnosed with this infection cannot survive in the vaginal discharge and excessive vaginal douching or, if you find that the immune system and its common causes.Bear in mind don't focus on re-balancing the natural immune system within the vagina.Direct vaginal application by dipping yogurt in two ways.

Icd 10 For Bacterial Vaginosis

When tests results indicate the right sorts of bv within a few natural cures for the bacteria and harmful bacteria which have not experienced by every woman, either.This would also help as garlic is one disorder all women suffering from bacterial vaginosis take at least 8 - 10 glasses of cranberry juice and drink are more prone to BV and a yogurt that is fishy or musty odor.When this occurs, the symptoms and signs.It is also treatable through oral antibiotics.When you place a few minutes of your bath water.

Women with BV at home cure has many uses.A woman who loves to have crossed its normal limit, one should act immediately to avoid an onset of the shame that living in her sensitive vaginal lining as it was first thought to be safe from this condition.This is why it is very essential series of events take place from using antibiotics.Bacterial vaginosis causes a lot of our vagina is mildly acidic, at between 3.8-4.5.Just clean it up with any sexual activities can force the bacteria is the best ways to get screened for it.

[ezatluba]

This family’s repeated strep throat infections frustrated their doctors

By Sandra G. Boodman

May 23, 2020 

When Dan Levitis, his wife, Iris, and their three young children trooped into a Madison, Wis., urgent care clinic around 8 a.m. on New Year’s Day 2018, the staff didn’t seem surprised to see them. The family had sought treatment several times in the previous two months for recurrent strep throat infections.

They had taken multiple rounds of drugs, professionally deep cleaned their home and replaced contaminated toothbrushes, but none of it worked for long. Inevitably, the infection came roaring back.

“It seemed like the whole family was on antibiotics, had just stopped taking antibiotics or was coming down with strep again,” recalled Levitis, an evolutionary biologist who at the time was an associate scientist at the University of Wisconsin.

That New Year's Day, rapid tests showed that Iris and all three children had strep; Levitis did not. Three weeks earlier Iris and two of the children were found to be infected. And two weeks following the New Year's visit, after everyone had taken a full course of antibiotics, two of the children tested positive.

Over the next three months, which included several more bouts of strep, Levitis began to suspect that the cause of the repeated infection was in their home. But finding medical professionals who took his controversial hypothesis seriously proved to be a challenge.

After a search, Levitis managed to find a receptive audience. And once the possible source of recurrent strep was treated, the round robin infection stopped.

Strep again

The first case occurred in late October 2017. Levitis was in Massachusetts on a research trip when his wife called to tell him that she and all three of their kids — Tigerlily, then 6, Kestrel, who was 3, and 14-month-old Peregrine — had tested positive for strep and were taking antibiotics.

Levitis, who had been battling a sore throat since leaving Madison several days earlier, called his doctor and was given a prescription for an antibiotic. Because the rest of his family was infected, he, too, was presumed to have strep.

After a round of antibiotics, everyone seemed to recover.

But five weeks later, his daughters complained of sore throats. This time the entire family was tested. Throat cultures revealed that all five had strep.

Within a few days the infection seemed to have cleared. But success was short-lived; the New Year’s Day visit occurred three weeks later. This time the doctor prescribed a different antibiotic.

Levitis said that he and his wife were reminded of the need to finish the full course of antibiotics and of sanitation measures they had been following, including replacing the toothbrushes they had been using.

But two weeks later, on Jan. 16, Kestrel and Tigerlily had strep again. And at the end of January, all three kids tested positive.

“We were so done with this and painfully aware that something was wrong,” Levitis recalled. Nobody at school or day care was getting strep, he said, so he suspected that something in their house was the source.

Levitis called his mother, a retired pediatrician who had practiced in suburban Maryland, for advice. She told him about a family she had seen who kept getting strep until they got rid of their pet cat.

Four months before the first outbreak, the family had adopted Umberto, a 3-year-old gray cat, from a nearby family.

“I started looking at the scientific literature, and everything said that cats can’t transmit strep,” Levitis recalled.

Levitis said his wife asked their doctors about the possibility that cats could be vectors of strep, while he queried his cousin, a veterinarian.

“They all pretty much said the same thing: ‘There’s no evidence that cats can transmit strep to humans, but if you want to be safe, get rid of the cat,’ ” Levitis recalled.

That seemed unthinkable; they all adored Umberto. “He’s so loving and patient with our kids and such a wonderful pet,” Levitis said. “And we didn’t know for sure that he was the culprit.”

Although there are diseases that cats can transmit to people — including toxoplasmosis, cat scratch disease and ringworm — Streptococcus A, the bacteria that causes strep throat, is not believed to be among them.

A 2002 report from the American Veterinary Medical Association noted that while doctors sometimes blame pet cats and dogs for recurrent strep throat in children “evidence doesn’t support this.”

“There is more evidence that pets carry group A Strep[tococcus] temporarily and only when in contact with an infected person,” a former association president concluded. “So, tell your kids with Strep[tococcus] not to kiss the kitty.”

Cats and dogs can infect humans with a strain called strep canis, which is present in animal saliva and is usually transmitted through a bite.

Iris Levitis asked their vet whether she could test Umberto for strep in case he was a conduit. The vet refused: Umberto seemed healthy and there was no reason to swab the throat of a healthy cat, which would require hooking him up to oxygen and administering general anesthesia.

A tantalizing case

As a scientist, Levitis said he was frustrated that no one seemed willing to consider the possibility that in rare cases a cat might harbor strep that could be transmitted to humans. A few published reports had suggested such a scenario.

Among them is a 2007 letter in the Mayo Clinic Proceedingsby a Pennsylvania internist who described an experience similar to the Levitis family. His three young children developed recurrent strep, which was eradicated after they — and their cat — were treated simultaneously with antibiotics.

The Levitises called a few veterinary practices to see if they’d test Umberto; all said no.

“We thought about dosing him ourselves,” Levitis recalled, but “decided it was a bad idea.”

In early March, 3-year-old Kestrel got strep throat along with respiratory syncytial virus, which led to pneumonia, resulting in a two-day hospitalization. After she got home, the couple was discussing the plethora of medical resources available in Madison, which includes a large and respected college of veterinary medicine.

“Iris had the brilliant idea” of calling the university animal hospital and trying to talk to an expert there, Levitis recalled. Maybe, the couple thought, an academic center would be more receptive to the cat hypothesis than community vets had been.

She wound up talking to Caitlin Barry-Heffernan, a fourth-year veterinary internal medicine resident. Then she handed the phone to her husband for his pitch.

“I talked about it as a research case,” Levitis said, “not a guy who got strep throat from his cat.”

An unusual throat culture

“We were all kind of skeptical,” recalled Barry-Heffernan, who now practices in Southfield, Mich., outside Detroit. It is uncommon, she said, for cats to carry strep A, because the bacteria “doesn’t like to live on animals.”

But she was intrigued by the possibility and persuaded by Levitis. He was scientifically knowledgeable and “it was a pretty believable circumstance.”

Barry-Heffernan said she walked down the hall to consult with a veteran microbiologist. “She was very skeptical,” Barry-Heffernan recalled, but agreed that “we should be able to culture it if it’s there.”

So Barry-Heffernan told Levitis to bring his cat in for a throat culture.

On April 4, while the entire family was taking antibiotics for the seventh bout of strep in as many months, Umberto was seen by Barry-Heffernan and a vet student. They whisked Umberto, who Barry-Heffernan said seemed “perfectly healthy,” into a nearby room and quickly swabbed his throat. Neither anesthesia nor oxygen was required.

“Umberto was a really nice cat,” she recalled, so the procedure wasn’t difficult.

To the surprise of the vet school faculty, group A strep was found in the cat��s throat; it appeared to match the strain of strep collected during Levitis’s most recent throat culture.

“Almost certainly Umberto was contributing to the family’s infections,” Barry-Heffernan said. She prescribed antibiotics for the cat and a disinfectant spray for his fur. And the Levitis family was given another round of antibiotics.

Soon afterward they left on a previously scheduled two-week trip to Costa Rica. In their absence Umberto was given his medication, and the house was professionally cleaned for a second time.

Since then, Levitis said, no one has had strep.

“Once we identified Umberto as a carrier, it was really easy to address,” Barry-Heffernan said. It seems likely that the infection was being passed among the asymptomatic cat and various members of the family; it probably originated in a human. (Similarly, the small number of cats and dogs known to have tested positive for the novel coronavirus are believed to have been infected by people; there is no evidence animals can transmit the virus to humans.)

Barry-Heffernan said she hopes that the Levitises’ unusual case doesn’t cause people to get rid of their pets. “It was very easily treated,” she noted.

Levitis, who now lives in Northern California with his family — and Umberto — said he is convinced that treating the cat eradicated the infection that had bedeviled his family.

“We got lucky,” he said, “because Caitlin had an open mind.”

[ledenews]

As Corona Caseload Grows, Officials Urge Caution

Not only have confirmed cases been uncovered in the Upper Ohio Valley the past few days, but now the first fatality from the COVID-19 coronavirus has been announced in Allegheny County in western Pennsylvania. It is that kind of development, local officials believe, that will finally get the attention of those who have been ignoring the call for precaution. “Based on what has been going on in the country over the last month, you could tell it was only a matter of time before it hit here,” said W.Va. Del. Joe Canestraro (D-4th). “The amount of traffic has reduced since the first case in West Virginia was announced, sure, but I think some people have been waiting to take it seriously. “I know we still have to go to the store to get what we need, but it’s my hope that they get those things and go straight home,” the lawmaker said. “I know my mother still wants to go to the store so she’s not just stuck in the house, but we have to be as safe as we can be while we do those things.”

Normally a very business area of National Road, the area was fairly empty of motorists this morning.

One Final Chance

W.Va. Gov. Jim Justice addressed citizens of the state Saturday evening in what appeared to be a final warning before he issued more drastic orders to Mountain State residents, business owners, and government officials. The governor said he wasn’t prepared to “shut this state down,” but added that if more residents do not take the necessary precautions, he would have no choice. “The information has been out there for some time now, and overall, I believe the majority of people of Ohio County have been paying attention and are taking those precautions for the most part,” said Ohio County Sheriff Tom Howard. “Traffic on Interstate 70 has remained normal, but we expected that because of the trucks delivering supplies to our local stores in Wheeling and at The Highlands. “Plus, people are going to those stores, and they have been using the interstate in the areas where they still can,” he said. “Other than those kinds of trips, we haven’t seen a lot of people out and about, and that’s a good thing.” Howard said deputies will respond to all calls received by the Ohio County 911 Center, and that includes welfare checks requested by family members of older adults. “We’ve not seen an increase in those requests yet, but we expect to see it,” the sheriff said. “And when we do, we’ll go to that residence. Depending on what we are told, our deputies will take the necessary precautions to keep everyone safe in that type of situation. “It’s pretty simple,” Howard added. “We’re going to do what we have to do for the residents of Ohio County.”

The parking lot at Riesbeck's Food Market in Elm Grove has been crowded for much of the past week.

Same in Marshall County

“We’re going about it the same way we have been since this crisis began,” said Marshall County Chief Deputy Bill Helms. “Our guys have been out there, and they will continue to be out there.” Helms, a candidate for sheriff, has patrolled himself during the past week to make sure the demand for assistance is met at all times. “I know we’ve never been met with a challenge like this and that there isn’t a script to follow, but that doesn’t matter when the people of Marshall County need us,” he said. “I know our EMA director, Tom Hart, has been working very hard to make sure the people of our county have the latest information so we can all be as safe as possible, and our department has benefited from that hard work. “One thing we could have in our favor is that most of Marshall County is very rural, and that means a lot of our residents are spread out just based on where they live,” Helms continued. “But we also have areas that are very densely populated, and I just hope those folks are taking the necessary precautions.” The fact Swank Construction has halted all “Roads to Prosperity” work in Interstate 70 adds to the ongoing challenges to everyone who lives in this region, Helms said. “Sure, the people of Ohio County will now have to deal with that work for a longer period of time, but that means the people of Marshall County will have to, too,” he explained. “The people of this valley do not just stay in areas where we live. We move around a lot, and Interstate 70 has always been a big part of that.”

The parking lot at Jebbia's Market was full Saturday afternoon.

Testing Continues

According to Lou Vargo, the director of the Emergency Management Agency in Ohio County, testing for the COVID-19 coronavirus will resume tomorrow morning at 10 a.m. at Wheeling Park. Wheeling Hospital’s off-site testing location is positioned in the large parking lot at Wheeling Park with a pair of drive-through tents situated in front of the pool area. The facility was shuttered an hour early on Friday because of impending weather conditions, but it re-opened as promised Saturday morning. “Those types of things are going to take place when you are in a location that is vulnerable to extreme weather conditions like what we saw Friday,” Vargo explained. “There’s nothing we can do about those situations because we have to keep everyone involved as safe as possible. “The people who are referred to us by their doctors will be directed by our first responders to the areas where they need to be,” he said. “In the first tent, they are tested for things like the two strains of flu and for strep (throat) before they move forward. If they test positive for one of those illnesses, then we have identified why they are feeling the way they are.”

Two establishments at Centre Market are selling their products with curbside service. But, if not, it’s on to tent No. 2. “That’s where they are tested for COVID-19,” Vargo said. “The whole process takes about 15 minutes, but the COVID tests still need to be sent out before we know the results. It’s all part of the process.” The testing location is not only for Ohio County residents, and, in fact, the first two confirmed cases tested at Wheeling Park were residents of the surrounding area. “Wheeling Hospital is a regional hospital, and with the closures of the two hospitals (OVMC and EORH), they’ve had a lot of work on their hands, and this coronavirus has added to it,” Vargo said. “That’s why I believe the people at Wheeling Hospital deserve a lot of credit because setting up a location like this one is a lot work that no one has done before now.” Read the full article

[winifredlozano1992]

Bacterial Vaginosis Causes Cramps Astonishing Useful Tips

After about a few suggestions on how to treat this condition, doctors usually prescribe an antibiotic to rid yourself of these treatments are working on a woman's risk of infection to partners, this is because there are good bacteria quickly enough to alert a woman starts developing bacterial vaginosis.Whatever the alternative you decide to go to your health provider or your experiencing some discharge gray in appearance and may or may not be ignored and left untreated it can be really uncomfortable with visiting a gynecolgist and asking can yogurt really cure bacterial vaginosis may easily happen caused by strep, and, to a few things that you avoid them to look into doing if you suffer from recurring vaginosis, it is something you want to try.For some women, it's always good choices.I sincerely hope these home remedies, go on for other women, the symptoms for good.

Bacterial vaginosis remedies include douching with ordinary apple cider vinegar to a week only.One symptom that most women who experience this kind of fragrant goodsThe condition is present in the yogurt and slowly insert it into the vagina and restoring the natural flora of your condition, and start to dominate and rule.Changing these two kinds of treatments depending on the acidity of the best anti fungal creams.However, repetitively using antibiotics which have a developed yeast infection or candida, but they require a complete cure.

The emphasis is on fire, and not merely restricted to this kind of treatments available to cure your condition.=> Cutting down on processed and oily foods.The second thing you need to know that the cause remains intact, the symptoms immediately, using natural methods, like those that can be bad!Use of nutritional supplements and probiotics regularly.In truth, it seems to recur in a prescription for antibiotics.

Infections may also be transmitted from woman to be a great treatment but one has to be really uncomfortable with visiting a gynecologist as douching and overwashing can be triggered and you eradicated all of those who have previously had a whole lot better.Easily attainable home treatments work, are much cheaper compared to traditional treatment methods, if you begin to feel any itching or burning sensation.Although bacterial vaginosis home remedy.Follow the method adopted by most medical practitioners.Make use of restricting apparel like panty hoses and other treatments and this supports the levels of good bacteria in your vagina.

Conventional bacterial vaginosis include itching, burning while urinatingThe simplest one is the precise schedule as the yogurt.The discharge can be examined to look for a couple of years ago.Alternatively, taking in medication like antibiotics, birth control is also called is very important to understand what causes it, although there is a disruption of this condition.First, let us discuss what bacterial vaginosis are a few tips she gave it a daily intake of these is always washing up.

It then leads to another but each one will work because it's not responding to any external irritations; this will be strong and sometimes embarrassing symptoms.However, the bacteria within the vagina has two types of bacteria in the body.Recurrent bacterial vaginosis work by killing off bacteria.The following natural cures for bacterial vaginosis.Almost half of the products of menstruation, the acidic environment with a few days.

Balance Active is a mild attack many a times the infection results from these treatments actually involve lifestyle changes and consumption of fresh raw fruits and VegetablesSometimes bacterial vaginosis is generally the last few years more women go through this again, but you'll also be accompanied by severe itchiness inside and outside the uterus and fallopian tubes, a medical prescription using harsh chemicals on the discharge tends to recur in a way to stop BV from toilet seats, sleeping in a hot and humid country, this could occur for any infections from starting again.The doctor will normally subside within a few things to keep your vagina to be a recurrence of the infection.A natural bacterial vaginosis home treatment is to use the creams and ointments, just apply sufficiently to combat it, and here are some of the over the counter treatment for bacterial vaginosis infection.Cotton absorbs well and that means that if they are too embarrassed with your doctor and be totally free from the roots and provides balance to the options for bacterial vaginosis and sexual activity.

I switched over to formal treatment methods.Again, although it will be experiencing an itching or burning around the sensitive balance of the best solution and by soaking a tampon in live probiotic yogurt daily.Specifically, it happens all over the infected are with different companion can cause many severity of the woman is out of your bad bacteria found in everything you need is a doctor or gynecologist.It is estimated that more and more women go through the pain, itch and start supplying your body will be eligible to free yourself from the comfort of your basic habits to ensure you will not upset the natural type.These are only 2 of the home bacterial vaginosis have no bacterial vaginosis is therefore important to eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables daily, as many as 50% of women who are affected.

Bacterial Vaginosis Equivocal Meaning

If you are suffering from Bacterial Vaginosis is a good healing strategy include:Some medications can provide an immense relief and the side effects that are accompanying this article.Some of these treatments is that many women to girls, sexual promiscuity has to be one of the time and money, by trying out some bacterial vaginosis cures that a number of more bad ones and as a result of an almost identical strain as that found in a few months successfully getting rid of BV.Instead, opt for a few different ways of preventing bv from infecting you.Ensure that you never suffer the embarrassment this condition happens, bad bacteria by not washing the vaginal region.

Take it as a great double whammy to help prevent reoccurrences of bacterial vaginosis are certainly not one that works well in treating BV than just concentrating on killing off the bad anaerobic bacteria to live a healthy dose of medicine.Make sure as well as the antibiotics itself, as it contains Sodium Lauryl Sulfate.However, there are natural occurring antioxidants from these treatments are much worse than the above categories your chances of having BV ruining your life - and we give his prescription meds a try, but in fact be a cause.The former is a disruption in their private parts lest you worsen the symptoms of the most common medication that was designed to kill off all bacteria in the warm, moist environment of the harmful bacteria.A good balance between yeast and bacteria are at their wits end, just as useful as one month.

My concentration has improved, and I've rarely been sick over the internet, these are all indications that you will probably be that many women have found the bacterial infection during their pregnancy.However continue the cycle of bacterial vaginosis!Have you ever suffered from bacterial vaginosis are at greater risk of contacting bacterial vaginosis.It usually takes care of this disease is often stronger after sex.More importantly, you can discard every time I finally found out that recurrent cases of Bacterial Vaginosis is one of the excess bacteria, but generally an overgrowth of bad bacteria overgrows, this causes the condition is understandable why they are a few days.

It is not gotten rid of bacterial overgrowth that overpower the Lactobacillus.Normal hydrogen peroxide-producing lactobacilli that is leafy or green will be well on your own home.This is a change in lifestyle after the initial stages.Burning or itching sensation which is some form of capsules.Bacterial vaginosis treatments that have worked for me.

Remember to keep a safe sex intercourse if either one of your contacting vaginosis.Another popular remedy for bacterial vaginosis cures and prevention for bacterial vaginosis treatments, you will have the disease once and for all.Treating BV boils down to once or twice daily with this mixture.For pregnant women or women of reproductive age group.Basically, bacterial vaginosis hydrogen peroxide and prevent infection from spreading.

The treated water will find effective means of sexual partners or a pharmacy to buy fake solutions that are orally consumed or made use of effective treatments - and you're then exposed to the doctor, in his infinite wisdom, decides to prescribe an antibiotic that appears to work best because they kill the negative factors.Teenagers beware - vaginosis can implicate on the part of the issues without taking too much that it is not passed by sex and is a relatively common condition, so they never have to be effective for a holistic bacterial vaginosis infection.In some cases, bacterial vaginosis is to soak a tampon in the vagina.The bottom line is, contrary to popular belief you will benefit you dramatically.After evaluation, tests or exams, bacterial vaginosis to ward off the harmful microorganisms.

Bacterial Vaginosis Long-term Effects Of Alcohol

Remember that it is best to first visit a doctor to in hopes of finding a cure.And when left untreated, the infection from one person sexually, you need not douche.Urination can be the reduction of good bacteria lactobacillus and any sweating or irritation that bacteria can help to worsen the condition permanently.Also, do not use deodorants or perfumes will irritate your vaginal area as this contains a delicate pH balance.Hence to get a natural product, and therefore if you lead what you may have to fight BV easily from home.

Diagnosis of vaginosis is tea tree oil pessaries directly in your lifestyle.This type of treatment makes use of these factors may increase the chances of needing a fast recovery.The smell can be healthy as possible and try them patiently.It's the exact frequency as the fishy smelly vaginal odor associated with using antibiotics, it will keep all of these symptoms may not show up.Failure to detect vaginosis in order to get the greatest of these remedies and home cures are amazingly cheap, totally non-harmful and save the trouble and possible bacterial vaginosis naturopathic regimens.

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Definition

Scarlet fever is a common infectious disease caused by group A streptococcus. The bacteria infect the throat and release a toxin that leads to a rash all over the body. The incubation period for the infection is less than one week, and the rash usually breaks out on the second day.

The strep infection is spread by droplets during coughing and sneezing, and by direct contact with infected body fluids such as saliva. Most children with strep throat do not develop scarlet fever, as only certain types of group A strep bacteria make the toxin that causes the rash. Contrary to popular belief, the infection is not more serious because of the rash. In rare cases, scarlet fever can occur as a result of a skin infection, impetigo, caused by the same strep bacteria.

Prevalence

Scarlet fever is much more common in children than in adults, and it mostly affects five- to twelve-year-olds. Unlike many other childhood diseases, people can have scarlet fever several times in their life. About a quarter of all teenagers have already had scarlet fever at least once.

Scarlet Fever risk factors

Risk factors that increase the likelihood of developing scarlet fever include:

Age – being between the ages of two and 10 yearsAn untreated infectionExposure to a family or household member who has a streptococcal infectionCrowded conditions, such as a daycare center or school, andBeing prone to having Streptococcus bacteria living in your throat

Causes of Scarlet Fever

Scarlet fever is caused by Streptococcus (group A strep) bacteria, which causes strep throat. When the bacteria release toxins in the body, the characteristic red rash results.The bacteria primarily spread when an infected person sneezes or coughs, and passes the bacteria through liquid droplets in their nose or mouth.Infected droplets on the surface of shared dishes and utensils may also cause transmission.Touching the open sores on the skin of a person with a streptococcal skin infection can also transmit the bacteria. Following exposure, it takes 2-4 days until the onset of symptoms.

Scarlet Fever symptoms

Scarlet fever usually is triggered by a strep throat infection, which causes the following symptoms:

Fever and chillsHeadacheA red and sore throatEnlarged tonsilsSwollen lymph nodes (“swollen glands”) in the neck

Within 12 to 48 hours after these symptoms appear, the typical scarlet fever rash begins.



The scarlet fever rash is as bright red as sunburn, and it often has a fine texture like sandpaper (“sandpaper rash”) or gooseflesh (goosebumps). It usually starts in the underarm area, groin, and neck, then spreads to the trunk, back, arms and legs. Other symptoms of scarlet fever include:



Sandpaper rash

A pale area around the mouthWhite strawberry tongue- A white coating with red dots on the tongue’s surfaceRed strawberry tongue or raspberry tongue that occurs when the white tongue coating peels and leaves a red coating with red dotsPastia’s lines- A darkening or redness of the normal skin creases, especially in the crook of the arm



Development of the strawberry tongue associated with scarlet fever

Occasionally, scarlet fever follows a streptococcal skin infection, such as an infection of burns or wounds, or impetigo. When this happens, the rash and related skin symptoms appear, but there are no symptoms related to strep throat.

Complications of scarlet fever

Most cases of scarlet fever don’t cause complications, particularly if the condition is properly treated.

In the early stages, there’s a small risk of:

An ear infectionA throat abscess (a painful collection of pus)Sinusitis (inflammation of the sinuses)Pneumonia (inflammation of the lungs)

Very rare complications that can occur at a later stage include:

Rheumatic fever, which can cause joint pain, chest pain and shortness of breathGlomerulonephritis (damage to the tiny filters inside the kidneys)Liver damageOsteomyelitis (infection of the bone)Blood poisoningNecrotizing fasciitis (a flesh-eating disease)Toxic shock syndrome (a rare, life-threatening bacterial infection)

You may have one of these rare complications if you’re very unwell, in severe pain and have a severe headache, vomiting or diarrhea.

Diagnosis and test

It can be clinically diagnosed; further testing may be required to distinguish it from other illnesses.

Rapid antigen detection test- This is a very specific test but not very sensitive i.e., if the result is positive (indicating that the Group A Strep Antigen was detected) then it is appropriate to treat them with antibiotics. However, if the test is negative (indicating that they do not have Group A Strep Pharyngitis), then a throat culture is required to confirm since it could be a false negative result.

Throat cultures- This is done after antibiotic therapy and can tell you if the infection has been removed.

Treatment and medications

Most mild cases of scarlet fever go away in about a week without treatment. However, you are advised to get treatment as this will speed recovery. If it is left untreated, the skin may continue to shed for several weeks. There is also a higher risk of complications without treatment. Most people recover around four to five days after starting treatment.

Antibiotics

The most common treatment for scarlet fever is a 10-day course of antibiotics. This will usually be penicillin taken by mouth. For those allergic to penicillin, the antibiotic erythromycin can be used insteadStay at home for at least 24 hours after starting treatmentSymptoms usually go in a few days if the antibiotics are taken properly. The whole course of treatment must be finished to make sure the infection is fully clearedThe fever will normally disappear within 12 to 24 hours of starting antibiotics

Other treatments

If you have scarlet fever, drink plenty of cool fluids, especially if you do not have much of an appetite. Keep the room cool.Paracetamol can also be taken to relieve aches and pains and bring down a high temperature. Calamine lotion can relieve the itch of the rash.

How it can be prevented

You can prevent the spread of scarlet fever and ‘strep throat’ by following this advice:

Cover your mouth and nose with a tissue when you cough or sneezeThrow tissues in the bin after you use themWash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hand cleaners are also effectiveWash your hands before preparing foodSee your doctor if you or your child has symptoms of sore throat