#using the tags down here as an opportunity to dump my autism

[asktotallyhuman]

Oh my goodness! I wonder what questions we have to ask to see what happened?

//Well if there's something you wanna know about, you gotta ask about it! Whether or not the character answers, or answers in the RIGHT way...well, maybe there's a way to get one character to "loosen their lips", and maybe there's another character who's already willing to answer. Or, perhaps, the other can tell you how to get the first to talk. Who knows?

[sign-from-god-complex]

the cost of admission

Summary: Dee’s managed to develop feelings for his roommate and thanks to Virgil, now he has to actually admit it to them, which is certainly not a terrifying premise at all.

Pairing: Loceit

Warnings: Mentions of past arguments/yelling.

A/N: I know I’m supposed to be doing these drabbles but my heart told me to write loceit fluff and who am I to deny it that.

General tag list: @mutechild @super-magical-wizard @shadowsfromthesun @teadays @lovelylogicality @mctaetae613 @autism-goblin @deadlyhuggles6 @romanthestarstruckqueer @whispers-stuff-in-your-ear @that-one-sunfish-with-a-wig-on @sanders-and-sides @spirits-in-my-thoughts @hhhhhhhhhhfjaskfsagfhasfgdsakfsa @autistic-virgil @stopitanxietymain @figurative-falsehood @jadedfantasies231 @idosanderssidespromptssometimes

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Janus paced around the apartment, hands rubbing back and forth over the fabric of his cape in an attempt to calm his nerves. It was 5 minutes until Logan returned home from class and it was 5 minutes until Janus had to spill his guts to them and hope they didn’t crush his heart beneath their really cool boots.

It had started with a bet, a stupid bet from Virgil who told him that if Janus confessed his feelings to Logan then he would confess his own for Patton. Janus had agreed, not believing he would actually do it—so, of course, Virgil almost immediately proved him wrong by walking straight up to Patton and asking him out. So now Janus was here. Pacing.

And absolutely fucking terrified.

It wasn’t something he liked to admit to—he’d learnt over time to keep his emotional walls high, even around people he thinks he can trust—but currently, there was no one here aside from himself and his echoing footsteps, so he really had nothing to lose. He’d built up such a rapport with Logan over the course of the time they’d known each other; even despite how much Logan had disliked him in the beginning, the two of them had found a way to get along. So, of course, Janus just had to go and develop feelings for them. Because nothing was ever simple in his life.

Janus spun around as he heard the door click shut, Logan watching him with a curious and possibly slightly concerned expression. He straightened up slightly, trying to project an aura that was less panicked than he was feeling.

Though he wasn’t exactly sure he was ready to admit his feelings to Logan, he wasn’t one to back down from a bet. He’d opened this can of worms, now he had to lie in it.

“Afternoon.” He nodded his head to them in what was possibly the most awkward greeting he had ever given.

Logan raised their eyebrow, dropping their backpack at their feet but not taking their eyes off Janus. “Afternoon. Are you… quite alright?”

Janus let out a laugh, before realising he sounded sort of hysterical so he quickly snapped his mouth shut again. He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks as Logan furrowed their brow, approaching him not unlike one would approach a skittish animal.

“Janus, I am aware that I am not the most… helpful person when it comes to emotional dilemmas, however, I had thought that we had reached a point where you were more willing to-” they cut themself off, seeming sort of unsure about whether they wanted to finish that sentence or not. Janus sighed.

They’d been living together for almost a year at this point and though they were much better at communicating now, the past could only be affectionately described as an absolute nightmare. Neither of them was willing to let down their guard enough to have a conversation, much less roster out the chores and cooking or having friends over.

Things would get done by whoever was around and then one of them (Logan) would get upset about things not being done the way they preferred it and then someone (Janus) would say something like, “Well, if you’d just cleaned it after you’d finished then I wouldn’t have needed to do it ‘wrong’!” and then they’d yell at each other until eventually they stormed off to their respective rooms, let the resentment build-up and then started the cycle all over again.

Things were considerably more tolerable now though—Janus had taken the time to learn not only the “correct” way to do the chores Logan was so fussy about but also why that was so important to them; in return Logan had made attempts to ration out their time better so they were able to assist with chores and cooking meals.

This, however, also lead to the unfortunate outcome of them spending more time with him.

Suddenly, Janus was subject to Logan’s late-night rambling about whatever science term they’d learnt in class today or how their best friends were so foolishly in love with each other, even an idiot like Roman could see it. And with every sharp word and blunt phrase, Janus found himself more and more distracted by their hands as they waved them around or by how soft their hair looked or by the way their eyes sparkled when they were excited. Janus wanted to see them that excited all the time, he wanted the opportunity to make them that excited.

He wanted to be closer to them, in any way he possibly could, but he was just so afraid of messing everything up.

He flopped back onto the couch, prompting Logan to take a seat down next to him. “Yes, we have, indeed, reached that point. And that seems to be the problem.”

Logan narrowed their eyes. “I’m afraid I don’t quite understand.”

Janus sucked in a breath. When it came to matters of the heart and emotions, Logan was… well, he was loathe to say obtuse, but they certainly weren’t a very intuitive person. If he wanted to confess to them, he was going to have to be clear and obvious.

“I have feelings for you.”

Okay, possibly not that obvious, because Logan was beginning to look like someone had just dumped an entire bucket of freezing cold water on their head.

Janus cursed himself out internally, mind immediately scrambling for some way to cover this up without his initial impulse of lying through his teeth. He was trying not to do that so much. “It wasn’t exactly a planned sort of thing, it just sort of happened. You were just so enchanting when you spoke about the stars and you’re rather intelligent and I may have found myself ena-”

Janus was more than happy that Logan cut him off from his rambling because it was beginning to get seriously embarrassing… but this is not how he had expected them to do it. He didn’t even realise there were hands gripping his cape until he was pulled in, barely stopping himself from toppling both him and Logan over onto the couch as he grabbed ahold of Logan’s shoulders. And…

Oh.

Their mouth was pressed to his before he had a chance to think—soft and chaste and over in a blink. In that short moment, he had been able to feel their breath exhaling against his skin, warm hands against his cheeks and Janus’ eyes were wide as he fought back a smile, shock and elation making its way through his body.

Logan was flushed bright red as he hovered above them, a look in their eyes like somehow they had only now realised what they’d done but at the same time, didn’t regret it. They sucked in a breath—presumably to speak—but Janus didn’t give them a chance, surging back towards them with a passion he hadn’t known he possed.

This kiss was much more intense than the last one, Janus threading his fingers through Logan’s hair, tangling them up and using it to guide Logan as he deepened it. He could feel Logan’s hands on his waist—warm and unusual yet so welcome—and he barely resisted the urge to lay them both down on the couch beneath them. It would be more comfortable, sure, but it had connotations he was almost positive weren’t appropriate for the current moment. 

In the end, Janus pulled away—arms growing tired of the position they had to maintain. Logan looked dazed as he regarded them, their lips bitten and red and wet and it took a lot of strength for Janus not to pull them into his lap and continue where they left off.

“I… may have feelings for you, also.” Their tone was slightly awestruck and Janus tried not to preen at how dishevelled they looked, perfect hair a mess and glasses askew.

“Oh, really?” Janus chuckled, pulling Logan to his side and wrapping an arm around them.

They huffed out a breath but didn’t protest the movement, instead burrowing in closer into his side, the soft and content look on their face making Janus more emotional than he would like to admit. Blinking away the slight moisture in his eyes—moisture he will deny to his dying day ever actually existed—Janus reached up to stroke a hand through Logan’s hair, pushing away the curls that fell in front of their face.

He let out a comfortable sigh, eyes falling shut as his lips quirked into a smile. “Mmm… Hadn’t noticed.”