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#usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine.
zoppzoop
·
4 months
Text
GAAHAHHHHH
#venting in the tags
#maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much
#but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn
#im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but
#i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me
#feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it.
#plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel
#like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went
#back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening
#and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just
#crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and
#usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine.
#i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better
#but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that
#plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut
#the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad
#'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like
#shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those
#fuck you you bitch
#i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep
#tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less
#ps. note to anyone reading the tags
#im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.
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