#vegas also knows that he caused him so much agony and hurt that he doesn’t really deserve forgiveness

[teenjiism]

thinking about vegas offering his heart up to pete, naked, bared, bleeding.

when he asks pete to be the one to kill him if it comes to it and confesses his love, he’s saying “here’s my heart, it’s yours for the taking. it’s your choice what you do with it. if it’s not you, nobody will want it, not even me. it only beats for you. if it’s not for you, i have no need for it.”

[gilbertandanne]

AU College Fic. Farkle never figured out how Riley really felt about Lucas, so it never got out. Now she’s turning 21 and the gang decides to go to Las Vegas to celebrate. Sometimes what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas.

Rating: M

Pairing: Rucas

Word Count: 8,708

Cross-posted at ff.net            

Soundtrack (although not at all organized and subject to edits)

A/N: This song got dropped today, but it’s P E R F E C T to listen to as you read this chapter: “It Won’t Kill Ya” by The Chainsmokers.  

Also, 21 is now rated M.  And yes, I do take a little advantage of that switch in this chapter.  This chapter is dedicated to @gmwpluto because she held my hand and kicked my butt throughout multiple rewrites and edits.  She is the best sounding board ever cause she makes you kinda fight for what you’re doing and explain the reasoning behind it and yeah, I’m gonna get killed for this chapter, but I stand by everything that happens and considering the meltdown I had about it, I’m pleased with the result. Thank you Amy.

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | J | Q | K | A | J |

                                      Chapter Ten: Tension

Her brain couldn’t process anything that was running through her chaotic mind.  She had hurt him.  She knew that much, but he had hurt her too.  He accused her of trying to pit Asher against him, of trying to create this buffer between whatever was growing between them, but that wasn’t true.  It wasn’t true because she knew that whatever this was couldn’t possibly last longer than the next few days.  He had always been non-committal when it came to his girlfriends.  A few weeks or even a few months would be the most she could possibly hope for.  She wasn’t willing to sacrifice her friendship with him when they were in middle school, and as strained and practically non-existent as it was now, she still didn’t think she could bear it if he completely vanished from her life.  That’s what would happen next, wouldn’t it?  They would go out for a while and he would realize that she wasn’t what he was looking for, so he would break up with her.  Afterward, she wouldn’t be able to be around him because it would hurt too much.  Their friends would be forced to take sides, and the entire group would fall apart.  She couldn’t let that happen.

As tears streamed down her cheeks, she knew that one day, she’d look back on this whole experience and know that she made the right decision by walking away from this before it was too late.  As she watched the fountains dance to the beat of the music, her heart finally declared war on her brain.

She wasn’t sure how long she stayed on the patio by herself.  Part of her had hoped that he would come back outside so they could go ahead and completely annihilate one another with more accusations and resentment.  Maybe it would be better to get it over with in one fell swoop as opposed to prolonging the inevitable.  It was her fault, anyway.  She was the one who suggested they play ‘seven minutes in heaven’ for real.  She was the one who could have walked away after her alarm went off the first time.  Maybe then, they wouldn’t be like this.  Maybe then they wouldn’t act like two complete idiots who, if she didn’t know any better, seemed to be completely in love with one another.

She scoffed as she wiped her eyes.  That was impossible.  While she knew that it was true on her end, she knew that if he wanted to figure everything out, if he really wanted to work through it, that he wouldn’t have left her the way he did.

She didn’t even want to have the stupid conversation in the first place—not now anyway.  She was drunk.  He was drunk.  She knew it would end badly, but he kept pushing her until he finally figured it out.

As Riley turned away from the show to go back inside, her head was spinning.  He knew now.  After seven years of hiding it from him, he now knew that she didn’t step back from him because her feelings for him had changed.

She took a deep breath as she made her way back to the table.  She had never felt more sober in her entire life.  She hated it.  She was never a huge drinker, and didn’t anticipate that trend changing just because it was suddenly legal for her to do so, but the battle her heart and brain waged was beginning to take its toll on her.  All she wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep through the next 48 hours.  She wanted to wake up in her dorm room in New York and chalk this whole trip up to being a bad dream—a cautionary tale about the perils of giving into temptation.

Her eyes locked on to Maya’s as she slowly approached the table.  She wrapped her arms around her body as a shiver rippled through her.

As soon as Maya saw Riley, she stood up and quickly made her way toward the quaking brunette.  “Riley?”  When Maya reached her, she rubbed Riley’s arms in an attempt to warm her up.  “You’re freezing.  Are you ok?”

Riley shook her head.  She was the complete opposite of ok.  How did everything get this complicated?  She just wanted to go out and have some fun and now she wasn’t even sure which way was up anymore.

“What happened?”

Riley shook her head once more.  She didn’t want to talk about it, not now anyway.  “Maya, I-I need…I…” She looked all around them.  What she was in search of, she didn’t even know.  She suddenly wanted to claw through her own skin, shed herself of her own body and simply float away.  This was all too much right now.  

As her frantic eyes continued to search the room, she spotted him.  He was seated at the main bar, and he wasn’t alone.  He wasn’t with the same woman as before, but it was another blonde woman and she wasn’t alone either.  A brunette woman had her arm looped through the blonde’s as they giggled at something Lucas said.  Riley felt a fresh batch of tears sting her eyes as her mouth fell open.

Maya furrowed her eyebrows together when she noticed anguish slowly seep into Riley’s eyes.  “Riley?  Riley, what is it?  Do we need to leave?”

Riley blinked several times as she stared at the three people who didn’t seem to have a clue that they were being watched.  Lucas seemed completely unfazed by their earlier conversation.  He laughed at something the blonde woman said, and made no move to remove the hand that the brunette woman had placed on his arm.  Riley’s throat ran dry as the blonde slid onto the barstool on the other side of him.  He was perfectly nestled between both girls now.

What a happy little threesome they seemed to be.  

The agony Riley felt when she stood outside rapidly faded.  Her desire to finish their conversation evaporated as she watched him take a sip of his scotch.  From where she stood, their conversation was over and he seemed more than content enough with the outcome.  

She’d be damned if she’d ever allow him to see how deeply he had gotten underneath her skin and into her heart.  If he was about to fulfill his quest to bring multiple women back to the suite, then she was hell bent on doing what she had set out to do the entire night—not think and not second-guess a single move she made.

But first, she needed to reclaim the buzz she had before she stepped outside with him.

“No,” she finally answered as she turned back to Maya.  She wiped her eyes.  “I want to stay.  I-Is my makeup ok?”

Maya wiped underneath Riley’s eyes to get rid of the slightly smudged eyeliner.  “Yeah.  You’re fine.  Why?  Riley, if you’re upset, then maybe we should—“

“Drink,” she offered even though she knew that wasn’t what Maya had in mind.

“No.  Maybe we should call it a night?”

Riley shook her head.  “No,” she answered as a slow smile tugged at the corners of her lips.  “The night’s only just begun.”  She glanced at the bar.  “I just need to find my buzz again.”

Maya was grateful that Riley’s master plan only seemed to consist of more vodka and dancing.  She had no idea what had transpired during Riley’s dance with Lucas, and while she wanted nothing more than to lock both of them in a closet and let them duke it out, she also knew that tonight wasn’t the best time to do it.  Everyone was intoxicated and she knew that Riley’s emotions were at an all time high.

Although Riley had taken to dancing with any guy who showed a remote interest in her, Maya knew that it could only go so far as long as she were nearby.  She was grateful that Zay and Farkle had joined them a few songs in.  Initially, Farkle had only shown up to give them each another drink, but Riley insisted that he stay with them and dance for at least a few songs.  She batted those beautiful brown eyes and told him that all she wanted for her birthday was to dance with her friends.  Farkle never stood a chance.  Her entire group of friends always ended up giving in when she pouted.

Maya noticed that not once since they hit the dance floor did Riley look back at Lucas.  She considered it a small victory.  She wanted nothing more than to see Riley and Lucas give it a shot, but she also knew nothing good would come out of a drunken conversation right now.  They had a lot to work through and discuss.  If they could make it through tonight, then maybe, just maybe, they would be able to work it out when their heads were a little clearer.

Riley laughed as she wrapped her arms around Zay’s neck and pressed her body against his.  “Dance class has really paid off, huh,” she grinned as they moved to the beat of the club music.

“You all laughed at me in middle school, but it’s always been a lady magnet,” he answered a he focused on the best place to hold Riley.  The last thing he wanted was to get in between whatever was going on with her and his best friend.  Incurring the wrath of Lucas Friar was one thing he did not want to do tonight.  He glanced over his shoulder as Maya cozied up behind him.  He turned back to Riley as he gestured at the blonde behind him.  “See?  Total lady magnet.”

“You’re in the middle of a Riley and Maya sandwich,” Riley laughed as she wrapped her arms around Maya as the trio rocked to the beat of the moderately slow R & B song.  “Do you know how many men would kill to be in your shoes right now?”

Zay chuckled nervously.  She was right.  He was nestled in between two beautiful women, and he knew damn well that if Lucas caught a glimpse of him right now that he might not live to see the sunrise.  “I know of one guy who probably would like to kill me right now if he saw this.”

“Make way for me,” Farkle announced as he ducked in between Riley and Zay.  The entire group laughed as Farkle slithered in between his friends.

“Farkle, I’m not that drunk yet,” Zay smiled before he spun around to dance with Maya.  The genius was one of his best friends, but his dance moves could prove to be lethal.  Farkle needed space to dance, and in his currently inebriated state, Zay wasn’t sure that he would understand that he only had a small space to work with.

Riley laughed as she placed her hands on Farkle’s shoulders.  “Oh Farkle…how are you doing?”

“Pretty good right now,” he smiled as he placed his hands on her waist.  He wasn’t really sure what he had been drinking or even how much he had.  He had placed Zay in charge of everything he consumed since he had never been much of a drinker.  “I can’t really feel my face right now.”

Riley’s eyes widened for a moment before she nearly doubled over in laughter.  “Oh my God,” she snorted as she gasped for air.  He couldn’t feel his face?  She had never been that drunk in her life.  That couldn’t possibly be normal, could it?  “I am so not on your level yet, Farkle.”

“Try me,” he grinned.  “I’m not kidding.”

“So, you can’t feel this?” She lightly touched his cheek.

He shook his head.  “Not at all!”

She tapped his cheek as her smile widened.  “And that?”

He shrugged.  “Nope.”

She lightly smacked his cheek.  “Still nothing?”

He laughed.  “Not a thing.”

“Wow.”  She was more than a little impressed.  Maybe she should get Zay to dictate the rest of her drinks for the night?  She moved her hand back down to his shoulder.  “If you were ever going to get into a fight, tonight would be the night to do it, Farkle.  Only…please don’t do that because then the night would be over and I’m having way too much fun to get kicked out of this club.”  She spun around before she placed her hand over top of his as she moved her hips from side to side.  “I love that you’re dancing right now,” she called out over her shoulder to him.  She couldn’t remember the last time she had been able to dance with him.  It had to have been high school.

“I told you guys that I would loosen up once we got here tonight,” he called out from behind her.

“I know, but I haven’t seen you have fun in a long time.”  She spun back around to face him as the song ended.

He shrugged as a more upbeat song began to play.  “Comes with the territory, I guess.”  He leaned in to speak directly into her ear as the DJ increased the volume of the music.  “I know you wanted this trip and it was your idea, but I needed it.  I needed to spend time with you guys…get out of New York for a few days.”

Riley frowned at his words.  He never talked about the breakup—not since the night it happened.  She turned her head to speak in his ear.  “Does it hurt?  Seeing places that you shared with her day after day?”

He nodded.  “Not as much as it used to, but sometimes I’ll walk past a coffee shop or restaurant or even somewhere that we only went to once, but I’ll think about her and it’s like…it’s like I can’t breathe.”  He sighed.  It was the worst form of torture he could possibly think of.  “For six months I felt so claustrophobic everywhere I went.  I thought I was going crazy.”  He rubbed the back of his neck.  “Maybe I am.”

“That’s how you know it was real.  I know it doesn’t help anything, but we’re here for you.  We’re all here for you, Farkle.”

“You know, the worst part is that…she’s gone.  She’s still in the city, but Riley, she might as well be in another country.  I haven’t talked to her since it happened…I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to be friends again.”

Riley nodded slowly.  It made sense.  Even in her muddled thoughts, it all made perfect sense.  Her heart broke when he called her that night and told her that Smackle broke up with him.  There wasn’t any build up or longstanding issue between them.  She simply told him that her feelings for him had changed and while she wasn’t sure how or in what way, she needed to take some time for herself to figure it all out.  Six months later and Farkle hadn’t heard a word from her.  “So you not only lost someone you loved, but you also—“

“I lost my best friend.”

Riley’s eyes scanned the club.  She couldn’t see much of anything past the dance area.  Was he still here?  Had he already left with those girls?  She had easily been on the dance floor for half an hour, maybe longer than that.  As Farkle’s words echoed through her hazy mind, her heart ached.  Her brain was winning the battle, despite the fact that she had subconsciously turned off both organs the moment she saw Lucas with those women.

It wouldn’t take her long to find out where he was.  As the small group made their way back to the table, she spotted Lucas, the blonde woman, and the brunette woman at their table with Asher and Dylan.  Instead of sitting down or even acknowledging the strangers who seemed to be latched onto him, Riley headed directly toward the bar.  The conversation with Farkle still rang in her ears as she ordered a shot.  As soon as she downed it, the bartender smiled at her.  “You’re the birthday girl, right?”

She cringed as her throat burned.  She nodded as she sat the glass back down.  “Yeah, I’m Riley.  And you are?”

“Mark,” he smiled.  “Listen, I know this might sound a little weird, but are you willing to help us out with something?  I can guarantee you that you’ll have fun and you won’t have to pay for another drink tonight.”

She raised her eyebrows.  She came here to have a memorable birthday.  Judging by the smile the bartender gave her, she knew that she had to do whatever it was he wanted her to do.  She needed some fun.  “Mark, you had me at fun.  What do you need me to do?”

Lucas looked up at the bar as he watched one of the bartenders whisper in Riley’s ear.  When he saw her laugh in response, his jaw twitched.  He couldn’t stand this.  The air around them felt so thick.  How was she able to laugh and carry on like this when the entire future of their already fragile friendship seemed so uncertain?  He reluctantly looked away from her when he heard the cackling of the brunette seated next to him.  Why did Dylan insist on inviting them back to their booth?  He had hoped to pawn the women off on Asher and Dylan and kill two birds with one stone, but Dylan didn’t quite get the hint that Lucas had no interest in either woman.  How could he when the one woman he wanted was so close, yet so far away from him?  

He hated the way they left things outside.  He hated that he stalked off, but he was so frustrated and so mad that she would think, for even a second, that if they became something more, that he would eventually end it.  Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that he had earned the reputation he had for a reason, but she didn’t know the whole story.

“Why is she standing on top of the bar,” Zay suddenly asked as he watched one of the bartenders help Riley climb on the bar.

“Seriously?”  Maya stood up as she turned toward the main bar.  “I thought she was only going to get a drink…not let the whole world see up her dress,” she groaned as she watched Riley run a hand through her hair.

Lucas snapped his head up to look at Maya.  “Excuse me?”  He turned his head toward the brunette.  Sure enough, Riley Matthews had climbed on top of the bar.  Apparently the members of their table weren’t the only ones to notice as a group of guys crowded around her.

Maya glared at the back of Lucas’s head before she walked toward Riley.  The others followed closely behind.

“Tonight at Hyde, we are very fortunate to help celebrate this beautiful woman’s 21st birthday!”  Mark gestured to Riley who grinned when the crowd cheered.  “And she has so graciously decided to help us deliver a round of shots for anyone who might be interested.  It’s an apple pie shooter and the way it’s gonna work is that Amber will pour some apple juice into your mouth.  After that, I’ll come by and add in some vodka, then Miss Riley over here will top it off with a dab of whipped cream!”

“Well,” Farkle smirked as he watched the bartender hand Riley a can of whipped cream, “She said she wanted to have fun tonight.”

“She’s making memories that she might not actually be able to remember tomorrow.”  Zay glanced at Lucas.  He could practically feel the anger and jealousy billowing from his best friend.  At least that anger couldn’t possibly be directed at him.

As Mark grabbed a bottle of house vodka, he gestured to the area around them.  “So, line up around the bar if you want one.  First come, first served!”

“I don’t know about you guys,” Maya smirked as she slid up to the middle of the bar, “But I’m getting a free shot.”  She couldn’t believe what was happening, but she had to admit that it would definitely make one hell of a story.  Riley Matthews was serving whipped cream to a bunch of strangers on her 21st birthday.  As she heard Riley laugh, Maya figured that maybe doing something a little crazy like this could be good for her.  She had played it safe for her entire life.  She was due for a semi-wild night—as long as it didn’t involve some sort of exchange of bodily fluids with a random stranger.  

Most of the group followed Maya’s lead as they stood in front of the bar.

Lucas didn’t want to do it, but he knew there was no way she would willingly climb down and forget the whole thing.  If he could prevent her from spraying whipped cream into just one stranger’s mouth, then he’d stomach what was sure to be a disgusting shot.  Instead of lining up with the rest of his friends, he moved to the end of the bar.  If he had any luck, he would be the last one.  If he had a little more than luck—and if his brain hadn’t been completely thrashed by the jealousy he knew he’d have by watching her doing this—then maybe he could get her attention long enough to apologize for running away from her earlier.

He watched her slowly bend down to spray the whipped cream in the first few guys’ mouths.  Lucas noticed that there were a few women by the bar, but most of the patrons consisted of guys—guys he knew couldn’t wait to get their chance to hit on Riley.  Lucas’s focus never wavered as she moved from person to person.  She laughed when she saw Maya and the guys about midway through her trek around the bar.  After she squeezed some of the contents of the can into the blonde’s mouth, she kissed her cheek.  Both girls giggled as Maya swallowed the shot.

Lucas noticed that Riley seemed to be getting more and more into what she was doing as she skipped down the line.  He clenched his fist as she slowly slid her index finger down Asher’s cheek before she squeezed the whipped cream into his mouth.  Did she know he was watching her?  Was she purposefully trying to drive him insane with jealousy?

It was a great exercise in patience and test of his growth as a person to watch her casually flirt with about twenty-five random strangers.  It felt like an eternity had passed by the time she reached him.  Luckily, their friends had retreated back to the table, as had most of the other people who had gotten a shot.

As he opened his mouth for the apple juice and vodka, he wondered if she even noticed that he was there.  As the two bartenders turned back to make drinks for the crowd that awaited them, Riley’s eyes finally locked onto his.

She was surprised to see him.  She thought that if he had wanted a shot, he would have been lined up with the rest of their friends and the two girls he had been with for nearly an hour.  She had never been so tempted in her life to drown the two women in whipped cream, but she managed to avoid a murder charge as she breezed by them.  Now, as she looked down at Lucas, she wasn’t so sure she’d be as successful with him.  She crouched down as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.  She wasn’t sure that she had ever been this angry with him.  It was new territory for her, but she gladly welcomed it compared to the agony she felt when she first saw him with the two girls.  “Thanks for proving my point by walking away earlier,” she snarled before she sprayed the substance into his mouth.

Lucas swallowed the shot the moment she began to spray the cream into his mouth.  He thought for sure she would try to use up whatever was left in that can on him in an attempt to cover him in the frothy concoction.  While she did end up giving him more whipped cream after he swallowed, it wasn’t nearly enough to make him choke on it.

As she turned to leave, all thoughts of an apology escaped him.  He wanted to apologize, but he couldn’t remember the speech he had formulated as he watched her dance around the bar.  So, he acted completely on instinct when he grabbed her arm and gently tugged her back down to him.  He lifted his head slightly as his lips met hers in a searing kiss.

The first thing Riley could taste was the whipped cream in his mouth.  She was shocked that he had pulled her to him, but as she felt his tongue slip into her mouth, her anger melted into an unbridled passion that she had no idea how to subdue.

When she heard herself moan into his mouth, she snapped herself out of her daze.  She pulled back from him without saying a word and turned to the bartenders.  “Is that it,” she asked as she wiped a little bit of the whipped cream from her mouth.

“Not quite,” Mark smiled.  “It is your birthday, and what good is a birthday without a birthday cake?”

Riley smiled as she spun around to see one of the other bartenders bring a cake over to her table.  She quickly climbed down from the counter as she walked over to the chocolate cake lit up with sparkler candles.  Lucas trailed several feet behind her as her friends sang “Happy Birthday” to her.

She pushed the brief interlude with Lucas to the back of her mind as she looked at the friends who surrounded her.  This was the moment she knew she’d remember for the rest of her life.  She had made it to twenty-one.  She had no clue what the future held, but if this group of people remained in her life, she knew she’d be ready for anything.

After the song was over, Riley closed her eyes as she made a wish.  Her wishes over the last eight years hadn’t changed, but this one was slightly different.  It still centered on the Texan she had just kissed, but instead of wishing to be with him, she wished for some sort of sign to know what to do, whether to let go or to hang on.  She pulled her hair back as she leaned over and blew out the candles.

Everyone around her cheered as she raised her head back up.  “This is so incredible,” she happily smiled as she sat down in the booth.  She turned to Farkle.  “It’s perfect, Farkle.  The place, the cake…everything.”  She glanced around the club.  “You know…if I had to pick anywhere in Vegas to celebrate my 21st, it would have been here…the fountains, the dancing, the ambience…it’s perfect.”

He smiled.  “I wish I could take the credit for it, but I can’t.”

She frowned.  “What are you talking about?”  She thought Farkle had planned the entire trip out.  If he didn’t set all of this up, then who did?

Farkle searched the club for his friend.  He couldn’t believe that after everything, Lucas missed the cake being brought out, especially after how specific he had been about where and what cake to get.  “I thought for sure he would have told you, but it makes sense why he didn’t.  He’s not one to really brag, but…Lucas set up the whole thing.”

Riley glanced at Maya before she looked back at Farkle.  “What are you talking about?”

“I had no idea where to even begin to look for a place.  Lucas told me that he wanted to plan your birthday celebration.  He’s the one who booked the table here, got us all into VIP, and he even picked out the cake.”

“He planned it?”

Farkle nodded.  “I thought I knew you better than anyone…well, except for Maya, but…I think Lucas beat me on this one.  This place screams Riley to me.”

Just then, Lucas walked around the table as he sat down at the other end of the booth.  Riley couldn’t help but to stare at him.  He planned the whole night?  How did he pay for this?  Riley didn’t even want to think about how much it all must have cost him.  

She watched as the two girls she still didn’t know the names of turn their attention away from Dylan and back to Lucas.  As she reached for the drink Maya ordered for her while she was on the bar, her inebriated brain began to weigh her options.  On the one hand, she could continue to ignore him to the best of her ability and watch him accomplish the mission he had set out for himself at the beginning of the night—or—maybe she could be the mission.

As the vodka slipped past her lips, she figured that it would actually be pretty poetic to lose her virginity to him in Las Vegas on her 21st birthday.  He had been her first everything—first date, first kiss, first boyfriend, first love.  Why not complete the circle?  Why couldn’t she be the hookup he craved tonight?  It was only sex, right?  If she could keep her heart silent, then maybe it would actually help her begin to move on.  Maybe they wouldn’t be physically compatible?  Maybe this was the first step to letting go?

She smirked as she continued to consume the contents of her glass.  There wasn’t enough liquor in the world to convince her that sex with Lucas wouldn’t be good.  A few heated kisses told her everything she needed to know about their physical compatibility.  Still, she was feeling completely light and free.  Maybe she needed one night of passion with him in order to finally close the door on her first love.

Once she finished the drink, she slowly stood up and walked to the other end of the booth.

Lucas’s attention immediately shifted to Riley the moment she stood up.  He was more than a little surprised when she stopped right in front of him.  He had no idea what to expect.  Was she going to yell at him in front of everyone?  Was she going to get back on the bar and do something else that would surely test his self-control?

“Hey Huckleberry,” she smirked as she casually drummed her fingers on top of the table.  “Are we dancing or what?”

He knit his eyebrows together in confusion.  He knew that he must have misheard her.  She wanted to dance with him?  After their argument outside and after everything that had transpired between them in the last 24 hours, she actually wanted to dance with him?

“It is my birthday.”  Her smile never wavered as she watched him reach for his drink.  She raised one inquisitive eyebrow at him as she waited for him to finish drinking the amber substance in his glass.

Lucas finished off his scotch and sat the glass down next to her hand before he looked back up at her.  “Lead the way.”

He thought for sure that she would take him to where she had spent the better part of the night with most of their group.  Instead of going to the dance floor, she led him back outside, back to their hidden corner, back into the darkness.  Only a few people mingled outside, as the temperature must have dropped another five degrees in the hour since they were last out there.  Riley felt a chill ripple through her as soon as she stepped outside, but she didn’t care.  This was the only place she knew of that they could have a little bit of privacy.  They were nowhere near the music, although they could still hear the bass beat as clear as day.  

Riley didn’t say a word as she spun around and placed his hands on her waist.

“Riley, what are you doing?”

She wrapped her arms around his neck.  “I don’t want to talk.”  She knew that this would go a lot better if neither of them said a word.  Every time one of them opened their mouths, they ended up in some ridiculous fight.  If they could just somehow float together, let things happen naturally without having to discuss the past or what it all meant, then maybe they could work this out without a fight.

“What do you want to do?”  Lucas swallowed as he stared at her.  He had no idea what was going through her mind.  She didn’t want to talk.  That was fair enough.  Every conversation they attempted in the last 24 hours was disastrous to say the least.  He never wanted to ruin her birthday.  If she wanted to dance with him in silence, then he would take that time trying to commit every millisecond of it to his memory.

“Have fun.  Not think.”  She shrugged her shoulders as she glanced at the fountains for a moment before she looked back at him.  “I’ve spent the first twenty one years of my life thinking about every move I made…doing the right thing…saying the right things.”  She shook her head.  “I don’t want to do any of that tonight.”  She was tired of having to be perfect all the time.  She was tired of her brain stopping her from doing the things she wanted to do.

He sighed.  Despite the canyon between them, he knew who she was.  He had always known.  “And what happens tomorrow when you wake up?”  She was saying all of this now, but he knew that once she sobered up, she would regret it if she did something completely reckless.

She shrugged.  “I don’t want to think about that.”  Didn’t he understand?  She wanted to give into her emotions for once.  Maya always led with her heart while Riley had always led with her brain.  Leading with her brain had only made a huge mess of everything, so why couldn’t she simply give into her feelings for one night?  What was so terrible about that?

“But I do.”  He wanted to step back from her.  He wanted to remove his hands from her waist and go back inside, but he couldn’t.  He wasn’t strong enough to separate himself from her right now.  He was a man who had been starving for a third of his life over the woman who stood before him.  At this second, he was holding the only thing he had ever really wanted.  He couldn’t let go.  Maybe if he was a little more sober, he could.  Maybe if she wasn’t looking at him in the way he had always wanted her to, he could let her go and walk away.  

“You’re not pulling away from me,” she murmured as she stepped forward and pressed her body against his.  She lowered her right hand to the nape of his neck as her fingertips brushed through his hair.  She bit her bottom lip as her eyes lowered to his lips.

“I need to,” he groaned as she leaned forward to kiss his cheek.  The alcohol in his system worked against him as he felt himself slowly give into whatever she wanted to do.  He knew that he was wrapped around her finger, but he never knew how much until tonight.  He’d die to try to give her the world if she wanted it.  He’d move heaven and earth for her if she asked him to.

“You don’t need to do anything,” she responded softly before she began to plant open-mouthed kisses along his jawline.  

Lucas felt his earlier anger dissipate with every connection her lips made to his skin.  It wasn’t fair.  None of this was fair.  Every single emotion he had felt tonight was placed into extremes.  He was certain he had never been angrier with someone in his entire life, but at the same time, he knew that he had never loved her more.  It wasn’t just the fact that she was stirring up every single hormone he possessed, but it was the fact that for the first time ever, he finally realized that she wanted him just as badly as he wanted her.

He swallowed as she moved her attention to the other side of his neck.  He craned his neck back and stifled a moan as she scraped her teeth against the base of his neck.  He was rapidly becoming putty in her hands.  Whatever she wanted, he was prepared to give her.  Anything—everything.  He just had to know that she wanted him and only him.  

Finding some inner strength that he didn’t know he possessed, he slowly moved his hands up to her shoulders as he nudged her back slightly.

Confused, Riley lifted her head.  “Isn’t this what you want?”

The way her eyes had darkened nearly set off an explosion in the Texan’s mind.  Dear God, he knew that no matter how much alcohol he consumed, he would never forget the way she looked at that exact moment.  Her cheeks were slightly flushed, her breathing had become slightly labored, and the way she pursed her lips immediately made a certain body part of his throb in sheer anticipation.  He knew he had to maintain his composure for at least another minute.  He had to know she really wanted this and she wouldn’t claim it was some drunken mistake tomorrow.  “Is it what you want?”

She smiled as she slowly, purposefully so, closed the space between them once more.  “Yes,” she purred as her lips quickly covered his.  She wanted to silence him before he had a chance to think, a chance to ruin whatever moment they could have together.  

Lucas felt most of his remaining defenses slip away as her fingers slowly danced down his chest.  As her tongue slipped into his mouth, his hands slid up her back as he quickly guided them further into their little oasis.

As soon as her back hit the wall, she shoved one of his hands down to her thigh.  “I want to feel your hands all over me,” she murmured as she hooked one of her legs around his waist.  She smashed her lips to his once again as she wanted nothing more than to feel him explore her entire body.

He squeezed her thigh as her tongue met his once more.  When she moaned into his mouth, he felt the last shred of ‘Lucas the Good’ slip away.  Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that while whatever they were doing was completely and utterly right, the timing of it and the location of it was not at all how he had imagined it.  Still, the alcohol in his system and eight years of dreaming about the woman in his arms night after night tipped the scales into Lucas the not-so-Good’s favor.  When she placed his hand on her thigh and told him that she wanted his hands all over her, he nearly took her right then and there.  As soon as she moaned into his mouth, ‘Lucas the Good’ ceased to exist all together.  His hand slowly crept up her thigh.  He knew that if she didn’t want this, she would push his hand down, pull away from him and tell him that they were going too far.

But she didn’t.  As her nails scraped across his back, she wiggled against him in a desperate attempt to get his fingers toward their destination quicker.  She needed to feel him. She needed him to touch her in a way that no one else had before.

Up until that moment, Lucas didn’t know that his brain possessed an off switch.  As his fingers slowly disappeared under her dress, Riley whimpered in sheer anticipation.  How many times had he dreamt about them like this?  How many times had he woken up and taken a cold shower because the woman he fantasized about wasn’t next to him?

“Please,” she murmured desperately in between kisses.  “I want you to.  I need you to.”  Goose bumps peppered her entire body as she felt his fingers graze the outside of her underwear.  “Please, Lucas.”

All he wanted to do was to make her happy and to make her feel good.  She wanted this.  He wanted this.  As he opened his eyes, he noticed that hers were already opened as they continued to kiss one another.  He looked for a sign of hesitation, any indication that it was merely the alcohol talking and not something she really wanted.  It was the only thing that could possibly hold him back from doing this.  A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she lightly bit his bottom lip.  “Please,” she begged once more.

At that moment, no one on Earth could have resisted her.  

She gasped as soon as she felt his fingers slide into her underwear.  She dug her nails further into his back when his lips reclaimed hers while his fingers slowly explored a new uncharted territory.  Was this real?  As his fingers paid homage to her most private of regions, Riley sighed into his mouth.  God, it felt so much better than she imagined, and it wasn’t even the real thing.  Her entire body felt completely electrified by his motions.  As insanely wonderful as it felt, she wanted more.  This was becoming an addiction.  He was becoming an addiction.   She had to have more of this.  She had to have more of him.

Lucas wished that she had left with him earlier when he mentioned it.  It was a mile and a half back to their hotel, but with traffic, it could easily take 20 minutes to get back to their suite.  He wasn’t sure about her, but he knew he couldn’t wait that long.  He wasn’t even sure they could make it to a room at the Bellagio at the rate they were going.  

Riley couldn’t stand it anymore.  She thought she could be placated with a tease, with a glimpse into a world that had been forbidden for so long, but it only made her demand more.  She dragged her fingernails down the length of his back before she brought them in between their bodies.  As she lowered her lips to his neck, her fingers grazed the outside of his pants.

He groaned the moment he felt her fingertips against him.  Did she have any clue how close he was to taking her right then and there?  All it would take is one word, one indication of consent and he would happily spend the rest of the night—the rest of forever—worshipping her like the goddess she was.

He used his free hand to run through her slightly tangled hair.  As she lifted her head up, he pulled her face to his in a scorching kiss.

Lucas quickened his pace as his mouth desperately sought contact with hers.  Riley could hear her heart race in her ears as the pressure within her began to build more and more rapidly.  She wasn’t exactly sure how she was able to pull in any oxygen between the breath Lucas commanded and the fact that his ministrations had already labored her breathing.  She felt like she could pass out at any moment from sheer pleasure.  If she died right here, she would die the happiest woman in the world.  She never wanted this feeling to end.      

He kissed her with every single feeling she was giving him in return.  A lethal combination of love, lust, anger, jealousy, and passion swirled within him as he desperately tried to tell her everything she was doing to him without ever saying a word.  He was a man possessed.  He couldn’t control anything anymore.  “Tell me,” he commanded as he slid his lips across her bare shoulder.  His free hand fell to her lower back in order to support her when she threw her head back and desperately gasped for air.  “Tell me that I’m the only one you want.  Tell me you don’t want him.  Tell me, Riley,” he pleaded as his lips brushed against her collarbone.  “Tell me that when we wake up tomorrow, we’ll be together.”  He kissed his way toward the base of her neck as he waited for her answer.

Riley’s heart pounded even harder as she listened to his pleas.  As her mind desperately tried to fight through the thick fog of alcohol and lust, she replayed his words again.  Be together as in dating?  Her mind raced as the logical side of her brain tried to dissect his words and the meaning behind them.  She couldn’t do this right now.  She was hammered.  She told him that she didn’t want to talk.  She didn’t want to make a life altering decision while they were intoxicated.  

She thought this would be easy.  She thought that maybe they could get whatever this was out of their system tonight—chalk it up to the city, to the alcohol, to being young.  She knew that on some level, she had waited for him, had wanted him to be her first because he had been her first everything else and that maybe she could begin to move on if she got some sort of closure from the last seven years.  She knew that at least for her, it wouldn’t be so simple to walk away, but maybe it would be for him.  Maybe getting the tension out of the way could somehow pave the way for them to repair their friendship.  At least, that was what the inebriated side of her had foolishly thought.  

She closed her eyes a newfound embarrassment filled her.  For one moment, she had successfully turned off her brain.  For one moment, she led with something other than the sense that had kept Lucas Friar at arm’s length for a third of her life.  In one foolish moment of weakness, she might have just wrecked an eight-year friendship.  

She slowly opened her eyes when she felt his lips slowly pull away from her neck.  They weren’t on the same page at all.  She knew that couldn’t risk this anymore than she already had.  Her body still cried out for him, but her mind had finally taken control once again.  She thought she could give into this for one night, but she wasn’t that kind of girl.  She never was.  “I can’t,” she answered weakly as she braced herself for the fallout she knew she deserved.

It felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on the Texan.  He felt completely paralyzed as the weight of those two words fell on his shoulders.  She had driven him completely insane.  He never would have allowed things to get this far between them if he thought that she didn’t want to be with him when morning came.  As he slowly pulled away from her, it felt as if a thousand knives had penetrated his heart.  He couldn’t do this anymore.  He couldn’t be around her while he was still in love with her.  If the last seven years were any indication, he knew that trying to get over Riley would be nearly impossible.  As he shoved his hands into his pockets, he knew that he had to get away from her, but first, before he threw himself off a cliff, he had to know why.  “Why,” his voice cracked with the weight of emotion that flowed through his heart, “Why is it so hard for you to understand that I want to be with you?”

Riley slid her dress back down before she wrapped her arms around herself.  She wanted to tell him it was because of what she had overheard earlier that night, but the real problem extended beyond that.  “Because,” her voice shook, “it was so easy for you to accept what I told you we were and move on.”  She looked down.  “If you did it back then, I know that you’ll do it now.”

“But I didn’t accept it!”  His eyes widened as he waited for her to say something else.  Was there no other reason than the stupid label that she put on them when they were in middle school?  “Don’t you get it, Riley?  Everything that’s happened since then has been because of this ridiculous idea you got into your head that Maya and I liked one another.”

She cut her eyes up at him.  “Didn’t you?  Even for just a second?”

“No!”  He shook his head as he tried to pull himself together long enough to explain to her what actually went on in his confused fifteen year old mind.  “I thought that…that maybe there was…or that there could be…but I realized later that I only thought about that after you told us there was something there.”  He scoffed when she said nothing in response.  “Do you not understand that Maya and I only dated because the person we loved the most in this world told us that we had to see how we felt about one another?  I’ve been chasing you ever since then.”  He shook his head as he looked away from her.  This was completely ridiculous.  Was he supposed to pay for her decision for the rest of his life?

Riley furrowed her eyebrows.  “What did you say?”

His eyes fell to the ground.  “I’ve been chasing you, Riley.”  Was she going to laugh in his face?  Was she going to completely pulverize the last shred of hope he had for them?

She shook her head.  “Before that.”

He took a moment to think about what he had actually revealed to her.  When his words came back to him, he realized that after seven years, he finally told her how he felt.  As he lifted his gaze, he knew that he had never intended for it to come out like that.  He had always imagined some huge romantic reveal—something that would rival the white horse he rode in the gymnasium at John Quincy Adams Middle School—but perhaps some of the purest moments didn’t need to come with pomp and circumstance.  Maybe they were best received when spoken from the heart, even if it’s outside of a club at 2:00 in the morning.  “Maya and I only went out because the person we loved the most in this world told us that we had to see how we felt about one another.”

Riley was convinced that the entire earth was currently spinning at a rate that would perplex scientists for the rest of eternity.  She swallowed in a desperate attempt to ensure that her voice didn’t shake when she finally asked him the most important question she had ever asked anyone.  “You loved me?”

“Yes!”  He looked all around them as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.  Had she not been listening to anything he had said or done in the last 24 hours?  Could she not see it before then?  Did she never suspect how destroyed he was over what happened to them in middle school?  Did she never catch on to the fact that his gaze always seemed to stay on her no matter where they were, who they were with, or what they were doing?  Did the woman before him have zero clue that he not only wanted to give her the world but that she had been his entire world for the last eight years?  “I loved you then,” he finally declared.  As she lifted her eyebrows in surprise, he realized that she really had no idea what he had sacrificed just to be able to continue to orbit around her.  “I love you now,” he confessed.  She had to know.  She had to see that this wasn’t some random hookup to him.  She had to know that this was the culmination of seven years of emotional repression.  “I never stopped loving you, even for a second…even though you told me that you only saw me as a brother.”