#vellichxrr's incorrect quotes—!

[vellichxrrs-incorrect-quotes]

jean: *filling out legal paperwork* were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

diluc: bold of you to assume i was born at all.

albedo: i personally was created in a lab.

kaeya: i just straight up spawned lol

[vellichxrrs-incorrect-quotes]

beidou: i’m gonna need a human skull and i can't have you ask any questions why.

childe: only if you also don't ask why

childe: *pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* take your pick.

beidou:

childe:

beidou: this one is fine

[vellichxrrs-incorrect-quotes]

keqing: i want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

ganyu: i wake up at 4:30 am

keqing:

keqing: i want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

[vellichxrrs-incorrect-quotes]

signora: how did none of you hear what i just said?

childe: i’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

dottore: i got distracted about halfway through.

scaramouche: ignoring you was a conscious decision.

[vellichxrrs-incorrect-quotes]

dottore: i mean, small animals are more vicious. it's because their anger has less space to be bottled up in

scaramouche: that's ridiculous, give me one example of this

signora: spiders

signora: wasps

signora: cicins

childe: scaramouche.

[vellichxrrs-incorrect-quotes]

ayato, texting ayaka: *sends a voice message*

ayaka, texting back: i’m a little busy, is it urgent?

ayato: no, don’t worry, just listen later.

*later*

ayaka: *presses play*

ayato's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

[vellichxrrs-incorrect-quotes]

zhongli: venti! for the love of celestia, please turn down that music. i have a hangover.

venti: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* that sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.

[vellichxrrs-incorrect-quotes]

xingqiu: i wish i could help you, but i shorn’t.

chongyun, about to collapse from heat: xingqiu, please !

xingqiu: what part of shorn’t don’t you understand?

[vellichxrrs-incorrect-quotes]

yae: so, what’s for dinner?

ei, staring at the food she just burnt: regret.

[vellichxrrs-incorrect-quotes]

venti: why did the chicken cross the road?? to get to the idiot's house.

kaeya: i don't get it

venti: knock knock

kaeya: who's there?

venti: the chicken.

kaeya:

venti:

kaeya:

venti:

kaeya: i won't punch you in the face on one condition.

venti: yeah?

kaeya: tell that joke to diluc.

[vellichxrrs-incorrect-quotes]

chongyun: do you want to play 20 questions?

xingqiu: sure!

xingqiu: whats your favorite color?

chongyun, laser fucking focused: triangle. are you into guys?

[vellichxrrs-incorrect-quotes]

xiao: in light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

venti: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

xiao: no...! four to five seconds-

venti: too late!!!

[vellichxrrs-incorrect-quotes]

baizhu: *on the phone* just snap his kneecaps and he’ll pay, i’m at a parent teacher conference.

baizhu: anyways, you said qiqi is enjoying finger painting! that's great.

[vellichxrrs-incorrect-quotes]

albedo, very sleep deprived: fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed.

kaeya, also sleep deprived: i will give the horse that kills me no such luxury

jean, also sleep deprived: it's okay guys we can add the cranberries later.

diluc: what the fuck-

[vellichxrrs-incorrect-quotes]

venti: don’t worry, i have a permit.

kujou sara: ...this just says “i can do what I want”.

[vellichxrrs-incorrect-quotes]

amber: is stabbing someone immoral?

albedo: not if they consent to it.

kaeya: depends who you’re stabbing.

jean: YES?!?