#genshin incorrect quotes

[eepilycorrectgenshin]

Diluc: are you the murderer, Kaeya?

Albedo: i am

Diluc: ...are you sure you're not the murderer, Kaeya?

[luxthestrange]

G.I Incorrect Quotes#63 Your a huge benefit

Furina: Are you two…friends with benefits?

Neuvillete: Ye-

Y/n: NO!

Neuvillete: Yes

Y/n: NO!!

Neuvillete*Visibly confused* But being friends with you has lots of benefits...

Y/n: That is NOT what she means-

Neuvillete:…But we help each other out...

Y/n*Pleading with a red face and covering face* Stars- Neuvillete, please stop-

Wriosthesley*Dying laughing in another room*

Y/n: SHUT UP WOLFMAN!!!

[zweetpea]

You(a prosecutor in this): I don’t think the Iudex likes me all that much.

Wriothesley: What on earth are you talking about?! What or WHO gave you that impression.

You: Well it’s just that, every time I’m prosecuting the Iudex glares at me through the entire trial. He barely even pays attention.

Wriothesley: (Y/n) I mean this in the nicest way possible, Neuvillette just has a resting bitch face.

You: No…

*Meanwhile with Neuvillette and Furina*

Neuvillette(talking about you): And we’ll name our third child Louis if they’re a boy and Eloise if they’re a girl! Oh! And our fourth child will be named Eden-

[mermaidfanficlibrary]

SHE'S TAKING MY HUSBAND!

Child Y/n and Child Xiao: *Hanging out playing with each other. Morax and the other adepti are watching over them.*

Cloud retainer: *Looking at the two playing before focusing her attention on Xiao* I should probably take him for his lessons.

Morax: *Sips his drink lot looking up from the table* I wouldn't do that if I were you

Cloud retainer: *Ignores Morax and picks up Xiao* It's time for your lesson Xiao

Child Y/n: *eyes widen and trying to pull Xiao back down* No! Don't take Xiao!

Cloud retainer: *Looks down at Child Y/n trying to calm them down* Now Y/n he needs to do his lesson

Child Y/n: *Starts to scream and looks at Morax absolutely devastated Xiao wasn't playing with them* SHE'S TAKING MY HUSBAND!

Morax: *spits out his tea and starts to chuckle*

Cloud retainer: *Looks at child Y/n surprised and puts Xiao down unsure what to do now* Very well then...

Child Xiao: *Blushes not understanding what's going on as Child Y/n hugs him, then looks behind Y/n to stare at Morax* What's a husband?

Morax: *Walks up to the two kids and ruffles Xiao's hair* I'll tell you later

a/n: This came from the episode of Bluey called Hammerbarn. I swear this was so funny to me.

Do not repost or translate without my explicit permission! Reblogs are welcome!

[orangeamethystt]

[imk1ra]

Diluc: You were hurt, what do you remember?

Kaeya: Just the ambulance ride.

Diluc: We didn't take an ambulance, I drove us.

Kaeya: But I heard a siren?

Diluc: That was Y/N.

Y/N: Sorry, I was nervous.

[poisonous-honey]

Player: *listening to Writing on the Wall for the 100th time* Kaveh's just like me fr

Kaveh: *Feeling every emotion at once* pleASE STOP OUTING ME TO EVERYONE IN SUMERU AND THOSE ARE NOT THE TRAITS OF MINE YOU SHOULD BE RELATING TO ARE YOU OKAY

[nekoashiii]

Honestly neuvillette is like:

"Don't yell at me.

I am sensitive....and will cry."

[sprayio]

Cyno: I think I have ligma

Tighnari: What’s ligma?

Cyno: LIGMA BALLS!!! So basically, let me explain. Ligma isn’t a real disease or a real word but it sounds like one. So it’s like an easy way to get someone to ask “what’s ligma” because it sounds like you have a disease or illness. So then when someone asks you say “ligma balls” (which phonetically sounds like “lick my balls”) it’s easy to lure someone into a funny joke and then it insinuates that they want to lick YOUR balls. So this is pretty hilarious on a multitude of levels. Firstly, (obviously) the other person doesn’t want to lick your balls, so it’s funny that you made them say something which demonstrates their desire to lick your balls when they in fact do not want to lick your balls. Secondly, it’s onomatopoeic, almost an onomatopoeic pun, so it’s pretty funny that “ligma” is phonetically interchangeable with “lick my”, at least in an certain accents. It may be difficult to achieve the same result with different accents, as some accents will hard pronounce the “ck” whereas others will omit the “ck” into a “g” sound, taking slang and cultural pronunciations into account, resulting in “ligma” instead of “lick my”. This makes it easy to fool those who are used to “g” pronunciations as a replacement for the “ck” plosive, or other variances. Do you get it?

[kohampster]

Traveler: Why are you a history major?

Wanderer: The failures of men amuse me.

[jar-of-maise]

incorrect quotes with my new fav trio

starring wriothesley, clorinde and neuvillette bc i said so

Wriothesley: What do you think Neuvillette will do for a distraction? Clorinde: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do. *Building explodes and several car alarms go off* Clorinde: ... or he could do that.

...

Wriothesley: How's the sexiest person here~? Neuvillette: I don't know, how are they~? Wriothesley: I- Clorinde, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

...

Clorinde: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Wriothesley? Wriothesley: … No. Neuvillette: I do! Clorinde: I know, Neuvillette. Neuvillette: I’m sad! Wriothesley: We know, Neuvillette

...

Neuvillette, to Wriothesley and Clorinde: *holding knife out in front of them* Are you or are you not an enemy of the people?! Wriothesley: ... Clorinde: ... Wriothesley: That is such an open-ended question. Clorinde: Yeah, it really depends on a lot of different factors-

...

Wriothesley: We need a diversion. I say Neuvillette gets naked. Neuvillette: No. Clorinde: Who are we trying to distract again?

...

Clorinde, at Neuvillette: Would you like to stay for dinner? Wriothesley, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

...

Clorinde: Ooh, somebody has a crush Wriothesley: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Neuvillette I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them. *Later that night* Wriothesley, very much awake: Uh oh.

...

Neuvillette: There's no way they like me back. Clorinde: Wriothesley would throw himself in front of a moving car for you. Neuvillette: Wriothesley would throw himself in front of a moving car for fun.

...

Neuvillette: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. Clorinde: Clorinde: I'm gonna tell them. Wriothesley: Don't you dare.

...

Wriothesley: Is there a cactus where your heart should be? Clorinde: What’s up your ass this morning! Neuvillette: *walks in* ...Hey. Clorinde: Hmm… nevermind. Wriothesley: WAIT NO!

...

Wriothesley: Do you cook? Neuvillette: I made a cake once. Clorinde: Yeah, it was good. Neuvillette: Really? Clorinde: Don’t make me lie twice, Neuvillette.

...

Neuvillette: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming? Clorinde: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"? Wriothesley: Ya know... it might be.

...

Clorinde: Did Wriothesley just tell me he loved me for the first time? Neuvillette: Yeah, he did. Clorinde: And did I just do finger guns back? Neuvillette: Yeah, you did.

...

Wriothesley: Where are my fucking keys? Clorinde: Wriothesley, Neuvillette is around, can you say it a little nicer? Wriothesley: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!

...

*Neuvillette dies in a game with ships* Wriothesley: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us. Wriothesley: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury. Clorinde: Legend has it that Neuvillette still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks. Neuvillette: Of course I do.

...

Wriothesley: How do you tell someone that you wanna have sex with them in a polite way? Neuvillette: Excuse me [insert name]. Would you give me the honours of indulging in sexual activities with you? Clorinde: What the fuck is wrong with you two?

...

Clorinde: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and Wriothesley! Neuvillette: So Wriothesley knows about this? Clorinde, walking away: No, this is between me and me!

...

Neuvillette: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look? Wriothesley: Like its slips on and off really easily. Neuvillette: Wriothesley: No, I didn't mean it like that- Clorinde: We know what you meant.

...

Clorinde: What have you done with Neuvillette? Wriothesley: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?

...

Neuvillette, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe? Wriothesley: Yeah, sure. *A few minutes later* Wriothesley: Here you go. Neuvillette: Wriothesley: Clorinde: Why am I here?

...

Wriothesley: I’m this close to falling in love with Neuvillette. Clorinde: Your fingertips are touching. Wriothesley: Exactly.

...

Neuvillette: Would you take a bullet for me? Wriothesley: ...yes? *Clorinde angrily burst into the room* Neuvillette: *running away* Great, thanks!

guys i love them a healthy amount i swear. NOW DIE ON THIS HILL WITH ME

PART II is now up!

[alitheakorogane]

Reader: This is like Among Us, but with isekai, a twist of obsessed religious freaks and magical shit I would rather not want to be another bloody decoration on my body. And it does have a vent in this place... Just add "i" on the end and speak "ehe".

Klee: Among Us? Is that another realm in Teyvat? Can we visit?

Reader: No, Klee, it's... never mind. Let's just focus on not getting smitten by the Archons.

[luxthestrange]

G.I Incorrect Quotes#79...Tasked failed successfully

Y/n:... When I said 'Bring me back something from the beach', I was thinking more of like a seashell...

Neuvillete standing in front of them, He is currently holding a sleeping Leisurely Otter in his arms...suddenly the sunny sky becomes dark

Neuvi*Holding the otter, blank face but... internally thinking he messed up* It might have been helpful if you said that beforehand...

Y/n:..This is better then a seashell tbh-

[zweetpea]

april Fools

You: Why do I have to do this Wrio?

Wriothesley: Do you want answers or not.

You: Yes…

*you walk up to Neuvillette*

You: Monsieur Neuvillette. I have something to tell you.

Neuvillette: Please, go ahead.

You: I am dating someone.

*immediately it starts raining and hard.*

Neuvillette: Oh… I see.

You: Maybe we should head inside.

Neuvillette: Come now, the weather isn’t that bad.

*suddenly a Melusine floats by clinging onto a menu using it as a flotation device.*

You: Monsieur Neuvillette, please be sensible.

Neuvillette: *Picks up the Melusine off the Menu.* I find this small drizzle to be quite relaxing.

Wriothesley: Okay April Fools! You called our bluff. *he says clinging to a table as the winds start to pick up.*

Neuvillette: What is April Fool’s.

You: *Explains everything as the sky clears and the city drains.*

Furina: What on Teyvat happened?

Wriothesley: I still don’t think that (Y/n) gets that Neuvillette is totally in love with them.

Furina: YOU NEARLY DROWNED FONTAINE OVER A PRANK!!

Wriothesley: Yeah, and it’s such a shame that they’re thick headed, and he’s a coward.

*Furina beats the shit out of Wriothesley as you and Neuvillette walk away holding hands*

(maybe you do get it after all)

[genshin-fanart]

kaveh: *sighs*

alhaitham: you bored?

kaveh: yeah.

alhaitham: wanna start drama for no reason?

kaveh: i thought you’d never ask.

[orangeamethystt]

"i could ___" memes part one