#very fun that sharks and sugar is a literal representation of my own life at every given time

[fragileizywriting]

“expectations!” kitty screams. a full-bodied scream, rattling the portrait on the wall next to the couch, shaking the glasses on the table. “everyone— everyone expects things from me, i’m— oh my god.”

“kitty?”

“i’m— i’m gonna pass out,” she wheezes. “i’m having a breakdown. i cant do this. i have no sense of identity.”

“what do you—” he follows her to the living room.

“nothing i do is chosen by me. everything i do is chosen by my parents— my family— no one sees me like an adult. they see me as some kind of child hybrid. old enough to pay taxes, too young to spend my money to make the taxes happen.” she sits. lays down. hiding her face with her hands, letting her transformation unstitch in the middle of adrien’s apartment. plagg phases into view, petting her hair with a worried look. “expectations. expectations. i cant exist without expectations. i don’t exist, sunshine.”

“of course you do. of course you exist.”

“i don’t have me. i have facets of me. squirreled away to make myself advertising friendly, but for my parents. for my friends. for paris. and every single one my family just thinks im incompetent in them anyway. my family doesn’t let me pick anything. i bet you i cant go to the store and buy my juice because i should’ve bought the other one. im made to think im being unreasonable when i want to buy something for me—”

“breathe for me.”

she sobs. “i can’t do this. no one— i— i don’t have things that i like.”

he brings her a cup of water. but doesn’t dare to tell her to drink it. “there’s a lot of things about you that is you, though. you exist. for example, you like plants.”

“do i like plants? or is it that plants were one of the only things my family vetted for me to be a reasonable opportunity for me? a little hobby?”

oh. she might be onto something here— he sees where the exhaustion is coming from. “you like me.”

“i do,” she whispers. downing the water in one go, putting the cup on the coffee table, and laying back down. “but my uncle is the reason why we became friends to begin with.”

“i guarantee you if i weren’t mister bug we’d still be together.”

“if you weren’t mister bug, i don’t think you would’ve left me in your room that night.” she looks back up to the ceiling. “can i be something without people telling me how to be it?”

“what do you want to be?”

“i have no idea. i’ve been stuck in this that i don’t know— don’t even have the faintest idea— i have no clue. i don’t know the things i like. and i’m so scared.”

“this isn’t something that can be solved tonight,” plagg sighs. finally breaching the silence when adrien struggles to find words. “but just with everything, we’ll find it. whoever kitty is, and whoever she’s supposed to be, we’ll find it together. even if that means we gotta get through the hard parts first.”