#victoriasisland

[kaijusdream]

Pigeon Scratch Music Update, Late 2023 Edition!

Wasn't intending on not posting a single update on how things are going for over half a year, but that is just how the turn tables I suppose. A little bit of laziness and procrastination, a little bit of art block, stressing myself to near breaking point on multiple occasions, both in music making and overall life stuff. Summertime this year was pretty damn rough, the lowest my mental health had been for a while, and the next couple of months were just trying to bounce back from that. During that time at least I've been able to have a healthier relationship with music. Both in how I feel about my own work, but also in how I enjoy music by others. I've been able to get back into the swing of things. Now it's just procrastination. Let's start with some of the tracks for Northern Minnesota, Part II.

The most recent song I've been working on is with the working title "Fargo Breakdown." About five minutes long, the general gist for this song is to be a slow build with more guitars and drums added onto itself with every repeat. A really big shoegaze-y, post-rock, wall of sound style crescendo that just abruptly ends and sharply transitions into the next song. Current plans is to have this be the first song on the album, with "Pretty Pink Eyes," what I used to affectionately call "The Long Song" going right after it. Can't call it that anymore because now we got at least two songs that are over ten minutes long.

As I've grown more comfortable working on Ableton, and understanding how to more properly produce on it, I've grown accustomed to a more wall of sound approach for this album. It fits perfectly with the genres of music I am making here. Working on this song, as well as The First Snowfall (more about that track and Pretty Pink Eyes later), has actually been helping me determine the kind of style and tone I want, something I'm more comfortable settling on than I was with what I had for Pretty Pink Eyes and The First Snowfall a year ago. One thing I've realized while working on this album is genuinely how well Post-Rock goes with the concept of suffering with OCD, escapism, gender dysphoria, stuff along those lines. And I'm really excited about the idea of mixing my style in more with that genre. Post-Rock has always been such a massive inspiration for me, so I hope I can do it justice with my own little spin on it.

"Muni" is one I can't exactly remember if I did ever post about it here on Tumblr. I did scroll through my entire blog and checked my tags just to make sure, but I didn't see anything. Started working on this track earlier in the year, I believe after my Vancouver trip. About seven minutes long, this is definitely more of a two-parter of a song, in vain to Pretty Pink Eyes and The First Snowfall being multiple parts in a track. Starts off as a slow somber piece with a ton of reverb and cymbals crashing, and the second half being another breakdown. Plans is to have this track on the latter half on the album, almost right before the final couple of tracks. Honestly not much more to say about this, it's just a damn solid track that really came out of nowhere. I think a good thing about Northern Minnesota, Part II is that it's more focused on longer songs than amount of tracks. Focusing on a couple of songs at a time instead of a bunch of one to two minute long tracks really lets me work on the smaller details of these songs to sound exactly how I want them too. I'd also have to assume it's easier for some listeners to listen to a ten track long album than a twenty-five track long album, even if they are about the same length. I just think it's cool I can actually make longer songs.

"Actually Leaving" Is the only song that has been released in full, albeit as an old demo version on EFMC Vol. 2. It also has been shown in full on my Tumblr page as well, over a year ago. Track used to only be two guitar tracks and a drum track, but I decided for the breakdown bit at the end to double the tracks just to get that wall of sound I desire. Still planning to have this be the last song of the album, since it's such a great end piece. Especially now, since Fargo Breakdown and Actually Leaving both have the same vibe, and I like the idea of all the tracks being similar enough to each other to really feel like a concept album. These tracks have different chord progressions and arrangements, different pacings, but very similar ideas for the base. My main concern with Northern Minnesota, Part II is just making sure nothing is filler, and nothing sounds too samey, while also sounding like it all belongs on the same album. All the main songs I've been working on as of late, the ones that have and will be shown here, are very much based on some sort of build up and breakdown, crescendo type of song. Personally though, I think each breakdown I've done in these songs are different from one another. Each showcase a different style of crescendo. At the end of the day, its okay for some of these songs to sound similar to each other because this is a concept album in heart. And it's especially okay since I'm planning on these songs to be related to each other's concepts. Lyrics, arrangements, even song titles. I want to go crazy with the song titles especially, because I'm a fan of complexity in titles. There is gonna be a lot of part II's in parenthesis and reprisals in brackets, vice versa. Just makes me stupid giddy over the idea of it.

The First Snowfall is one of my absolute favorites on this album. The arpeggio melody in the beginning, the first breakdown with the noisy leads similar to Godspeed You! Black Emperor, the jam session in the middle, and the wall of sound, noise, and reverb at the end as it just gets faster and faster in each second. This song was an absolute blast to make, as well as incredibly difficult and painful. Specifically at the end with the increasing tempo. Playing that on guitar and drums and trying my damn best to keep up was really hard, but I think the sloppiness at the end works really well in its favor. Planning this to be the second to last track of the album, right before Actually Leaving. About ten minutes long. I'm a little concerned that going from the wall of sound to another breakdown might screw up the pacing a little bit, but the times I have listened to the transition, It works pretty well. If I do need to put a trick in between, I'm sure I can figure something out, but we'll see later on when I got more songs to work on.

I remember talking about "Pretty Pink Eyes" on my Tumblr literally a year ago, at the time I'm writing this. That image of Ableton didn't have this many tracks, that's for certain. For the past year I've been struggling with how this song sounded in comparison to everything else. That struggle only got worse as time went on, when I started songs like The First Snowfall, Muni, and especially Fargo Breakdown. This was the first song I started working on alongside Actually Leaving, back in late June of 2022. That was during the time I was still learning how to use Ableton, and how to use it exclusively, no Audacity. Because of that, it just sounded completely different no matter what I tried, and my confidence in music making severely plummeted. There came a point where this song no longer sounded like a song to me, and it sounded worse each time I tried.

At the end of last month I finally realized what my big problem was. It was how I was trying to fix it. Working on old varnish doesn't make things better. They don't mix well. I was working on set ups for tracks that I did a year ago, give or take. It didn't matter if I added another guitar track, or if I changed the distortion or the amount of reverb, or even if I included audio recordings of the song through my speakers into the mix, it wasn't gonna sound like how I wanted it to. I had to start from scratch. I kinda knew this for a while, but I was so afraid to do so due to how hard of a task I thought that would be, and I was afraid I wasn't gonna get exactly what I wanted. There were parts I thought that fit the album well already, and there was the thought it'd be pointless to just restart in that department. But again, there came a point where I just said screw it, and just do it. Wouldn't hurt to try. So I created a copy of the project, got rid of all the audio effects, and reset all the volumes and channels, and started from scratch. And holy hell, the entire song sounds so much better, and more accurate to what I wanted for the album. The amount of relief I felt after finishing the base of the mixing in just a week was literally indescribable, and it felt really good to have been able to do it without that much hassle. Three part song, with three breakdown parts. About eleven minutes long. It's finally the wall of sound I've always wanted it to be. And that makes me incredibly happy. Plans for it to go right after Fargo Breakdown. Whenever this album release, remind me to never work on the same song for over a year and a half ever again. That shit was fucking brutal.

Here is the current tracklist. For clarification, this is nowhere near a finished tracklist, both in order and amount. I want to fill in the middle part of this album more. I just tend to focus on the beginning and end the most. I got plans for a song that will also be ten minutes long that would go right before The First Snowfall. A more slower piece, similar to Snow Globes right before Basketball Shoes by Black Country, New Road. All of these songs shown here, except Actually Leaving, will include lyrics or at least vocals of some kind. I will probably release an instrumental version of this album in the future, whenever the album comes out. I really thought I was gonna release this album this year. That's kinda funny. Soon, I'll probably release some snippets of these tracks onto here, just for fun. Don't expect anything much, probably just thirty second pieces of my favorite parts of these tracks. I might as well tease a little bit more than I have been, eh? Thanks for reading this painfully long post. I appreciate it.

[kaijusdream]

work in progress title. work in progress song

[kaijusdream]

During the Kaiju Era, there were a ton of ideas being made and tracks being created. A lot of good stuff that I just completely forgotten about even before release. This includes stuff that honestly compares to a lot of the tracks in the official releases, stuff that I considered DEMOS. Planning on making a special bandcamp exclusive compilation of tracks that either were from older releases now removed, or ideas nearly finalized from I Wish I Was Kaiju and After Kaiju. Here is a list of tracks that I'm considering. Don't worry, I won't include all of these (Some of these aren't worth it, promise)

[kaijusdream]

Leftover Graffiti From The Station. Bandcamp Exclusive, The Kaiju Era Compilation Album. Releases April 25th.

13 tracks (plus a bonus track upon download) that were made during the Kaiju Era (I Wish I Was Kaiju - After Kaiju, 2019 - 2021) that didn't exactly fit in anything. Voice memos away from home, initial Ableton experiments that turned into full songs, old forgotten audacity projects, all recently edited and remastered to be as good as possible for public availability. Comprises of two parts. First part is electronic guitar tracks only, all of them made during After Kaiju, usually through Ableton, Guitar Amp, and a Line 6 HX Effects pedal, edited through Audacity back then. Cleaned up as much peaking as I could, made things sound more fuller in the process. Consider these tracks as demos for songs in the future, probably as a collaboration with others. Second part are all acoustic tracks. Two from 2019, the early days of working on I Wish I Was Kaiju, intended for collaborative projects that didn't necessarily happen. One track initially for Oneshot Aftermath, though didn't fit the style. Two tracks on voice memos in the Twin Cities with friends listening in during 2021, around the time of Jet's passing. Everything else was at home through audacity.

To celebrate the three year anniversary of the release of I Wish I Was Kaiju, I felt like making a compilation album that means anything. Probably some of the more harsher, more depressive tracks I made at the time, during a time where I consistently and constantly burnt, and had no confidence in myself anymore. Making this was cathartic, and reminded me things are okay. I hope you enjoy this short, bandcamp exclusive, release. Happy Kaiju Month.

[kaijusdream]

Updates on the music and myself.

January was essentially a break for me. Was in Vancouver with my girlfriend (Hey, VK! <3), though even then it was still a time of many ideas both for my future and in my music were blossoming. Finally having good experiences of what I want to talk about, it's no longer just wanting to see someone, it's being with someone, and having to go back home.

I'll admit embarrassingly, I've never even really experienced emotions to that degree ever in my life. Sure I've had it in the past, but never in such a physical turmoil leaving the month of January behind me was. It feels like it happened just yesterday, but also a year ago. And that's what I wanna put into my music.

I genuinely think these next few releases will be the most genuine personal experience of mine.

--

Still working on the long song. Filling in the gaps with goodness. Lyrics are still absent. Long songs are a nightmare to write. But, again, hopefully my experiences will help me out.

Still trying to come up with more songs. I already have enough breakdown/crescendo like songs, granted different kinds, so trying to transition from that to something else is tough. Maybe something more poppy?

Would love to incorporate some more electronic stuff into Northern Minnesota Part II, like it's predecessor, but not as much as I'm planning for Victoria Island.

Got another EP idea. The Eye Camera Project Part II. Gonna have Vixia help me out with getting more genuine lofi sounds and gonna try not just depending on the PS3 Eye Camera, even if that goes against the original name. I don't really care, just don't tell anyone it isn't.

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I do have one song publicly available from these albums! Came out on Ember's Furry Music Comp 3! Meant to share a link around here a bit ago, maybe I did, I don't really remember. Give the comp and my track "Actually Leaving" a peep, hm?

Anywho, take care, see you around.

[kaijusdream]

Today is Bandcamp Friday! It's a great date to support artists and I.

Check out my recently released compilation I made with leftovers from I Wish I Was Kaiju and After Kaiju!

https://pigeonscratch.bandcamp.com/album/leftover-graffiti-from-the-station

[kaijusdream]

A little update on my future music projects!

Things have slowed down quite a bit for a couple reasons. Work, future planning, and just simply not feeling motivated to work on the things I currently have. April and May have been very rough months to say the least.

Currently still putting the majority of my creative time into Northern Minnesota, Part II. Got several song structures of decent to long length, two tracks over ten minutes long. First time to have a song that long that isn't just improvisational piano or drums or something or other. Also, the month of June marks the first time I've been working on a singular song for a year. I don't know how to feel about that, but it is also one of my favorite songs I've made, even despite how much of annoyance it has become. It is what it is.

I'm thinking with Northern Minnesota I might finally try releasing official singles. At most I've released music videos or promos for releases, and back then I released a cover on my Bandcamp page or a single somewhere else. I've never released a single with the intention of promoting an album. Now I'm considering it. Maybe I will announce something soon, of course when I actually have stuff that's more finished. No point in half-assing.

Also still have ideas to make sequels to some other EPs from around the time of the first Northern Minnesota. The Eye Camera Project and Photographs on my Shelf. The main issue is I don't want these to be half-assed or seen as throwaways without care. We shall see I suppose.

Also would love to put some stuff on tape. I need to look into that more.

Happy Pride Month. 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

[kaijusdream]

Not coming this bandcamp friday, maybe on the 14th or 21st though! Closer to the three year anniversary to I Wish I Was Kaiju. Happy Kaiju Month.

[kaijusdream]

One day, I'll stop making tracks about making music, but honestly my music has always been such a big part of how I'm feeling, for better or for worse, and until I can get into the habit of fully ENJOYING making music, I guess I'll just have to be the meta fuck I'm supposed to be.

[kaijusdream]

I might as well explain a little more about the two albums I’m working on! While these albums are related, Victoria’s Island being the future sequel to Northern Minnesota, Part II, but asides from underlying themes and perhaps some song structures, there are some key differences.

Northern Minnesota, Part II as previously mentioned in earlier posts and from the obvious album title, is a sequel to a release of mine back in 2019. Originally called Northern Minnesota: Why I Want To Leave, my goal with this sequel album is to bring back the more noisy distorted stuff with an emphasis on drums. For the Kaiju era I heavily refrained from using drums, in fact, only one song on the sessions album for I Wish I Was Kaiju has a real drumset used, very limited. I Wish I Was Kaiju’s percussion was ONLY drumsticks. After Kaiju was more lenient, though drums were only used for a couple songs. So it’ll be good to go back to doing more drum stuff, especially after listening to so much DnB, IDM, Breakcore, as well as Slowcore and Post-rock. The main difference asides from the severe improvement in production and mixing between Northern Minnesota Part I and Part I is the choice of instruments. Less synths, more guitar shit.

Main reason I’m going back to Northern Minnesota is that I believe the Kaiju Era, the past three years of music, has ended. Maybe I’ll make another Kaiju album, but probably much later in the future, and a different take on things. I released a ton of stuff in 2019, and I think that there is a story that needs continuing. Three years later, and I still live in Minnesota, go figure, but now is a part of my life that can absolutely change at any moment. A complete transition to something new, and completely different to what I’m used to, hopefully for the better. And of course my feelings of escapism and self sabotage are on high alert, and my OCD is killing me on the inside. I’m planning on visiting Vancouver for a month after my birthday next year. And if things go well, I can lay the grounds to stay there in the future. And that’s why I’m also making Victoria’s Island, and also maybe even a small EP in between for that delicious smooth transition.

Victoria’s Island is gonna be my attempt to experiment more with electronic stuff. Not just the abstract ambient stuff I’m known for in my circle, way more structured than that. In fact, it will be my attempt to make a more pop like sound with my stuff, while still trying to stick with my style of experimenting and abstract stuff. Another big part is it’s gonna be my attempt to allow myself to have collaborations with other musician friends of mine. While thats for both albums, its more specifically for Victoria’s Island. Something I’ve always been afraid of but it’s something I realized I need to get into. Synths, maybe bass, maybe brass, and hopefully some album art if the people I wanna commission are down to do so.

The goal is transition from real life stories and struggles from Northern Minnesota to fictional stories and escapism with Victoria’s Island. Finding comfort in escapism and fiction without obsessing over it, maybe even merging of the two.

I’m stupidly excited.