#viewers will realize that Jess has to die for Sam to say yes

[platinummoonsea]

Supernatural AU - A bigger Family

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairings: SamxJess(established)

Warning: none? Bad writing XD

Description: What if Dean left before Sam, met Adam and Jess found out about Sam being a hunter.

Authors note: Got the idea while rewatching season 1! Just wanted more characters to play with

-------------------------------------------------------

The reason for the Winchesters to become hunters stays the same, Mary dies and it causes John to become obsessed with justice.

John Winchester is raising the two siblings through hunting, at 13 and 9 years old the siblings get attacked by a werwolf who wanted revenge on John. Both of them ended up in the hospital. Bobby, who was helping out, finds out and allows the siblings to stay with him from that moment on, while John is busy hunting.

This causes Dean to lash out, he wants to prove himself. He made one mistake by letting the werwolf get to close, it is his duty to finish the job. Bobby tries his best to explain that he is just a child and to let the adults handle it.

Dean doesn't listen, he ends up sneaking out and hunting the werwolf by himself.

His little brother is the first to notice, Sam tells Bobby immediately and he warns John.

They save Dean and John ends punching Dean. This causes the adults to have an argument about the treatment of the children. John takes Dean and Sam by force and continues raising them in motels. The disrespect Dean showed that day was never forgotten.

Dean fears his father and tries to make up for his wrong doing, but gives up at the end and focuses his time protecting Sam.

Two years later, Dean runs again this time not towards a monster but from one.

Dean ends up back at Bobby's place, surprising him, but being accepted with wide arms.

He made another mistake and it caused John to freak out, Dean didn't know what else to do but run to Bobby.

He didn't eat or sleep since driving there, Bobby allowed him to stay on the couch.

John knocks angrily on the door and Bobby opens it with his gun in hand. Promising him to shoot, if he doesn't leave his property. It causes another fight, Dean hears everything.

Bobby shoots a couple warning shoots and John leaves, warning that he would come back. Bobby focuses his time with Dean, trying to sort everything out while Dean pushes him away.

Bobby tells Dean about his own father and that he had to kill him.

Dean is shocked and doesn't know how to react, but Bobby tells him that he doesn't have to. They end up living together since then and growing closer.

The siblings still talk with each other, but it's getting less and less.

Bobby ends up finding out about Adam Milligan through a hunting friend who was told by John. Adam's mother died through a poltergeist and with no known family, he would end up in the system. Bobby forges some papers and Adam is allowed to stay with him.

His fear of being like his own father is being healed by his relationship with Dean. Dean(16 now) mistakenly calling him Dad didn't hurt either. Adam, 5 years old, has to adjust to having a new family and seeing his mother die in front of him. Surprisingly, the two new siblings bonded fast over fast-food and movies.

Time moves and Sam plans to go to Stanford, John feels betrayed and they end up having their fight. Sam goes through the door and doesn't look back. He ends up calling Dean for the first time after a while and finds out about Adam.

He feels replaced and let's his emotions get to him. Not even telling Dean about college.

Sam starts his journey in law school and meets Jessica through their friend Brady. They become a couple fast, him in law and her in medicine.

Sam tries to live his normal life until his nightmares start, he gets spooked by them until he can't ignore them and does his own research to calm himself. It only makes him more nervous and he ends up debating on asking for help, before he can decide Bobby calls him.

He decides to pick up, they want his help on a hunt that they can't ignore and Sam agrees to escape his own thoughts.

Jess who is worried about him and tried her best to calm him, decides to secretly tag along to ensure his safety.

Sam(22) meets Dean(26) and Adam(15) in a library, going over the information they have. Sam is a bit jealous over Adam, while Adam gives the two siblings the space they need. Only stepping in when necessary, Jess meanwhile is finding out for the first time that Sam has siblings.

They are hunting a group of Vampires, Jess gets caught by one of them and gets used as bait. Sam is freaking out and tries everything to get her back, his brothers help.

Together they end up beheading them and saving Jess. She ends up patching the boys up while explaining her reason on being there before it's Sam turn to explain. Sam comes clean about his life and introduces his siblings.

Sam and Jess go back to college, but Jess is unable to focus on becoming a doctor while more important things are happening under people noses. She ends up calling Dean and telling him her issues. They end up talking for hours and keep going over everything multiple times. Jess head tells her no, but her heart already made the decision on becoming a hunter herself.

Sam is angry, because the plan he had for them gets ruined. It gets revealed that Sam wanted to propose to Jess.

Jess admits that she wants to say yes, but that she can't ruin his live and she leaves to learn under Bobby the same way Adam is. Both of them got the chance to choose a normal life, but both want to fight.

Sam isn't able to keep his emotions in check, his worry and nightmares become worse. He finds out that he has telekinesis powers. Sam ignores it, deciding not to tell a soul and focuses his time on finding Jess.

At Bobby's house the five try to talk but get interrupted by a call from another hunter, who request help. Bobby, Sam and Dean go hunting while Adam starts to do research. It's his current main role in the group, while also now teaching Jess. She gets the hang out of it quickly and ends up finding the crucial information to kill the monster. Unfortunately, they aren't able to reach out to the others. Adam ends up leaving to go get them, while leaving Jess at Bobby's place. Handing her a weapon and telling her what to do for her safety.

Adam is allowed to hunt smaller jobs or as extra backup if something needs to be burned while Sam and Dean fight. He is eager to fight more, but is willing to wait because other people lives are at stake.

He ends up taking a day and a half to get to the city only to find Bobby in the hospital with no trace of Sam and Dean. The hunter friend was the one who brought Bobby to the hospital and is now also looking for the two. Adam and the hunter end up finding them tied up and before he frees them, the hunter attacks him from behind. The shapeshifter took the appearance of the friend and has now all the siblings tied up.

He takes the appearance of Adam and goes back to the hospital to deal with Bobby. While there the siblings manage to escape and they try to get there on time to warn Bobby. Bobby was able to knock out the shapeshifter himself after arriving in the motel. The shapeshifter making a small mistake that made Bobby realize the truth. They deal with the corspe and do a funeral for the hunter.

Both parties drive back, Sam with Dean and Bobby with Adam. Sam calls Jess to inform her about how the hunt went.

Jessica keeps reading articles the next morning on her laptop, switching from one tab to the other and cross checking with Bobby's book. The lights begin to flicker and she feels watched and notices that some of Bobby's traps where pampered. Jess tries to act cool, her mind racing on what to do. Holding the knife tighter and being prepared for everything and nothing.

She sees a man standing in one of the rooms before the blond could do anything, in one blink of an eye the being disappeared.

The main door opens later that day and the boys enter tiredly. Jess tells them about what happend, Sam is concerned and angry about not being told immediately after it happened.

Redoing the traps and drawing more protection symbols on. All of them are on the edge, they realize that the monster just wanted to prove that it could do anything if it wanted to, it was toying with them. Sulfur. A demon. The hunt continues.

Dean Singer,

Sam Winchester,

Jessica Lee Moore,

and Adam Milligan

Fighting together and finding their family on the way.

[deanwasalwaysbi]

Dean’s Self Acceptance & Chekhov's Grenade Launcher

If you aren’t here for a deeper look at episode 12x22, metaphors, and Dean being bi, keep scrolling because we’re going to get into that holy hand grenade - Supernatural’s Grenade Launcher, the weapon that Dean has loved since season one but always got shamed out of using; shamed out of using UNTIL 12x22; an episode literally titled, ‘Who We Are’.   

After which Dean loses Castiel and goes into the Widower arc ... ok. ... Cool. I’ll just read nothing into any of that shall I?

(cont under the cut)

Okay first- ‘what grenade launcher? I don’t remember a grenade launcher?’

Dean has a grenade launcher in the trunk that we’ve never seen him use. It's been there at least since episode 1x02. He has assigned a gender to the grenade launcher, calling it ‘she’ like his car.  It has appeared multiple times, but one noteworthy time was two episodes ago when Dean was showing his arsenal to Max Barnes, the openly gay witch hunter, in 12x20. Mmmhmm, nothing to see there. Nothing about the slow progression of Dean learning to accept himself. Nothing about Dean opening his trunk up to a canonically gay man.

Dean often wants to use  it  her, but  it’s  she’s impractical,  it’s  she’s not stealthy.  The thing is unsafe, and other characters are constantly telling him no, put it back, don’t bring it, don’t use it. (See 12x05) 

When Dean lost his memory - when he would have seen no reason NOT to use it, one of the other characters reminded him with a post-it note: this thing that you want to do, that’s a natural instinct for you, don’t do it. (See 12x11)

[gif credit to @demondetox​ & ​ @shirtlesssammy​]

Okay, now that we have a bit of primer - let’s talk about 12x22.  There’s a lot to unpack in this episode.

Mary has been brainwashed and the boys have been locked in the bunker to die.  After trying magic and pickaxes (shout out to “goggles? goggles.”), Dean realizes it is time. Time to tear down his big concrete wall with something, "Big, Beautiful, and Dumb" regardless of what the British lady in the bunker says, and he's getting no more resistance from Sam.

"I have had this thing for so long, I have been waiting for the *perfect* moment to use this."

We've been seeing the grenade launcher for 12 seasons, and in how many episodes and they just happen to have Dean finally use it to break OUT by breaking DOWN walls in an episode titled ‘WHO WE ARE’?!  

Having torn down that wall with the grenade launcher, it becomes time to deal with other, less physical ones.  There are British Men of Letters to fight, Mary is still brainwashed, and there is no magical shortcut that is going to cut through. In a display of how far the characters have come, Sam is becoming a leader in a fight he originally wanted no part in [which the show will drop over and over for no reason] and Dean, well this one’s about Dean for me.

Dean fucked up his leg coming out ... of the bunker, I mean. Finally using the grenade launcher, it hurt, but it didn’t kill him.  An earlier Dean would have joined the fight at the men of letters compound anyway, prepared to die in a blaze of glory.  However, Dean has changed.  Instead he recognizes that going into a fight right now would be idiotic and he stays behind to fight with EMOTIONS instead of brawn.  It’s okay to Dean, and even his idea, to not go into the ‘manly’ fight.  Dean has become secure in himself enough to volunteer to go into the battle that requires being open and honest about feelings.  He initiates the hug and feelings talk with Sam, (only undercutting a lil with a classic 'bitch' 'jerk' call response). No chick flick moments indeed. 

So Dean and Sam hug, Sam promises Dean he’ll come back, and we move on to the most important scene in the episode. Dean has broken through mind control with feelings before, with Cas in season 8 episode 17 when we had the infamous ‘We need you. I need you’ moment (though apparently Jensen Dean  was still guarded enough that this was not an ‘I love you’.) but this time Dean goes into Mary’s psyche; Mary who has been a stand in all season for who Dean was emotionally before his character growth.

The viewer is expecting some big declaration of love, that’s how dean broke through last time.  But no. That’s not what we get. 

Dean finally lets out his true feelings. About his childhood. About John. About Mary’s death.  About everything that has ever happened to Sam. The walls are coming down.   Dean is honest with someone about the resentment he feels (which should be directed at John) about the responsibility that was put on him as a child.   In sharp contrast to his reaction to Mary’s guilt at the beginning of the season, of Dean as the perpetual caretaker, now Dean gets to acknowledge his own feelings, that he does blame Mary and her deal for what they went through.  Watch this scene.  He hates her and he loves her. okay. 

Yes, Dean got to use the grenade launcher, but it wasn’t in a climax of some epic battle.  It was in the ramp up - the beginning of an episode.

No, the climax of the episode was Dean comin to terms with feelings the character has had since season one.   We’ve been looking at this grenade launcher for 12 years, but we’ve been witnessing Dean’s feelings here for just as long & Dean takes his emotional predecessor, Mary, along with him. 

I will skip past the fight scene between him and ketch - which is actually impressive given the horse tranquilizer he’d been given.  Instead, I want to get to 12x23, to his reunion with Castiel. 

Dean has used the grenade launcher. Dean has accepted himself and admitted something to himself that you can’t even really see until you look back at this episode’s placement retrospectively.  Dean is no longer trying to fight with Castiel, he just wants to help him.  Castiel heals Dean’s major knee injury and Dean, well we get an interesting jacting joice: 

in fact, the moment continues with a lil half smile and Dean looking down and checking his knee, I’m just having trouble getting a gif or a video to make one from.  Throughout the entire episode Cas routinely addresses Dean specifically despite being in a group at all times. Cas later makes a run at Lucifer and Sam wrestles a yelling concerned Dean away and back through the rift, just as Dean wrestled him away from Jess in the pilot.

At the end of this episode Cas is killed in front of Dean, who for the first time doesn't continue on in the fight, instead dropping to his knees. This all flows right into Dean’s intense season 13 widower arc.   Dean feels Cas’s death in a way we have never seen him grieve before. 

Ho.ly.Shit.

"Who We Are". 

It gets another use later in the series in the same episode where Dean also wears a live action version of the pink sleeping gown he wore in scoobynatural, but we’ll get to that later.

[ramajmedia]

Supernatural: 10 Hysterical Sam Winchester Logic Memes That Only True Fans Will Understand

Within the world of supernatural TV shows as well as within the fictional world of Supernatural itself, Sam Winchester is a literal icon and legend. His exploits fighting the demons and monsters that would send an average, sane person running scared have earned Sam a lot of admiration within the world of hunters, while his character has secured him an insane amount of fans. While Sam typically likes to keep things very serious, his fan base is more than happy to get downright silly.

RELATED: 10 Things From Supernatural That Haven’t Aged Well

With 14 seasons under its belt, Supernatural has given its fans a whole lot of material to have fun with. What is the most thing that any hardcore fans can do with their favorite characters and TV show? Well, make them into memes, obviously! There is a never-ending list of Sam Winchester memes to keep fans and casual viewers entertained, but here are ten of Sam's best.

10 Well He Had To Get Those Muscles Somehow

Supernatural has evolved in directions that no one would have ever expected. Earlier on in the series, surrendering yourself to anything demonic for your own benefit was very strongly frowned upon. Therefore, the fact Sam Winchester essentially allowed himself, along with some help from Ruby, to become a blood addict as a way to enhance his abilities was a dark secret, one that caused Dean to lose his mind once he found out.

Of course, it all went wrong in the end, but at least Sam seemed to have a good time while he was doing it!

9 Sam The Murder Puppy

I mean, can anyone really argue with that? It's actually a borderline miracle that Sam, as well as Dean, are both still as good looking as they are.

RELATED: Supernatural: 10 Times Destiel Was Canon

Sam has a bit of an advantage because at least he eats healthy, but after spending literally his entire life getting his face and body bashed in by demons and monsters, you'd think there would be more readily apparent damage to his relatively fragile frame. They're both lucky though, as looking like sweet young dudes certainly has its advantages both in demon hunting and just living life.

8 Too Soon

That's not cool, man! Jess didn't deserve the awful end that she met at the hands of Yellow Eyes and Sam certainly didn't deserve to witness it either. Jessica may have only survived literally one episode, but Sam and the rest of the Supernatural fandom will never forget her.

Also, we all know that Gordon Ramsay's shtick is to be loud and angry, but if he ever let these fighting words fly then undoubtedly the entirety of the Supernatural fan base would be coming at him like a freight train. Even someone as tough as Ramsay doesn't want to make that mistake.

7 It's Hard Being The Normal One In The Family

Considering everything that Sam is, everywhere he's been, and everything he's done, it's a little crazy to realize that he's actually the relatively normal one in the family. However, if your family is made up of antisocial demon hunters and angels, "normal" is rather subjective.

RELATED: Supernatural: 10 Reasons Why God/Chuck Is The True Villain Of The Series

We can see why Cas might be confused by something as mundane as a voicemail and realistically, anyone who calls him is going to know that Cas is an unsocialized weirdo. Same goes for Dean, yes his voicemail message is weird, but will anyone who calls him be confused or surprised by it?

6 You Hear That Yellow Eyes?

Or you killed my girlfriend, prepare to die. Or you killed my mother, prepare to die. Or you killed that random person I hung out with a day and a half, prepare to die. Anyone noticing a theme here? Sam is definitely always on a mission for revenge like Inigo Montoya, however, the hunter's kill list and "people he knows who have been killed" list is about eight miles longer than Montoya's.

With this particular coif and facial hair, Sam really does look like the long lost brother, son, or cousin of the incomparable Inigo Montoya.

5 Is He Laughing Or Crying?

There are many memes made for many things, but this meme seems a little extra special because it's such a painfully, hilariously accurate representation of Sam and Dean's relationship. Yes, they have a million things worth crying over, but they try to deflect all of that pain with their dark senses of humor.

Then they cry anyway. If they were ever looking for a side gig then writing monster and supernaturally based jokes could be a very lucrative deal, that is, if they can get over their pedantry and don't feel the need to correct every piece of lore information out there in the world while they do it.

4 Anything But The Hair

Even if his hair was blue or he was completely bald, no one would ever say that Sam Winchester looks busted. With that said, clearly, Sam holds a deep interest in the appearance of his own hair. It's easy to understand considering what lustrous chestnut locks adorn his head, but he really doesn't need to be quite so worried about the upkeep of his tresses.

It's actually quite an impressive achievement though, you'd think his hair would be in incredibly rough shape after the constant torture Sam's entire body is under, and you'd think extra long hair would be a hindrance in the job.

3 Not The Brightest Lightning In The Sky

Look, after dedicating his entire life to heroic pursuits, no one should be surprised Sam Winchester is capable of lifting Thor's hammer. Yes, it's supposed to be one of the rarest gifts in all of Marvel Comics' history, but Sam is definitely one of those who may just be worthy.

RELATED: Supernatural: 10 Times The Show Broke Our Hearts

However, Sam really dropped the ball in leaving it behind. It is supposed to be one of the most powerful weapons of all time, and almost no one in the world can actually use it! Furthermore, a lore expert like Sam should have known that!

2 Planning Ahead Always Helps

Isn't it weird to think back to the very beginnings of Supernatural and remember that at one point in his life Sam Winchester was the kind of guy who might be brought to tears at the thought of his homework being late? While he probably wouldn't cry, Sam is also an obsessive school freak, so anything is possible.

Everyone on earth can relate to Sam in this instance, sometimes you just drop the ball and once you realize it's too late, all you have left to do is give the teacher a sad face and hope they show mercy on you.

1 Ancient Demons

Sam's experience with the supernatural world is so insane that even the lives of angels and gods can't compare to what he's seen and done. After what he's seen and done, undoubtedly nothing is too crazy to completely write off.

However, if Sam were to share his reality with the rest of the world, he would 100% be seen as someone even nuttier and weirder than the guy from Ancient Aliens. That said, if Sam and Dean ever had their own History channel show detailing the supernatural world, it would be a sure-fire success.

NEXT: Supernatural: All the Angels And Their Powers

source https://screenrant.com/supernatural-hysterical-sam-winchester-logic-memes-true-fans-understand/

[shirtlesssammy]

All Hell Breaks Loose: Part One: Recap

Then:

Sam is a special demon psychic snowflake and the whole thing is spinning out of control!

Now:

It’s been a long time, but while on the road the boys stop at a diner, and Dean wants some pie.

While Sam gets their grub, Dean cranks his Boston. His radio starts to crap out though and he looks around in wonder. He quickly notices that there is something hinky happening in the diner and runs to Sam’s help. Once in the diner, he notices customers and staff lying dead in pools of their own blood, but no Sam —just sulfur!

Sam, meanwhile, is resting peacefully.

Err, he’s in Westworld* Frontierland. *Boris has never actually seen Westworld. Anyway, upon waking he tries several shop doors with no luck and finally runs into another human: Andy, the psychic dude that conned Dean out of the Impala. They have a fun catch-up, and then hear screaming and run to check it out. It’s Ava! (Uh, she was mentioned in the Then, but I don’t remember her story. We’ll recap it one day, I promise!) She’s freaking out! Andy’s freaking out! And Sam is Mr. Cool. They soon hear another voice and meet Jake and Lily. They’re all SUPER confused, and all 23 years old. Btw, Lily wins with the whole killing people with a touch of her hand. Ugh. Sam fills all the Yellow Eyed Demon Specials in on what brought them to this place.

Meanwhile, Bobby and Dean are lost on how to locate Sam. Dean gets a call from Ash (Awww, Ash!!!) He knows but can’t talk over the phone. It’s huge. Dean and Bobby head to the roadhouse.

Sam’s new buddies think he’s crazy. Sam tries to give his best Jack Shephard line: “Live together, Die alone.” but no one is buying it. (Whew, bringing out a Lost reference is really dating me, sorry.)

Thunder rolls, and Jake, the brooding soldier wanders alone through the desolate funhouse landscape. Will he find the answers he’s looking for? Will it start raining before he finds shelter? Will he stupidly investigate visions of creepy girls in windows alone? Yes, to that last one apparently.

Creepy ghost girl shows herself and prepares to attack.

Sam attacks first and iron bars her away (He also calls her a demon, but she really seemed like a ghost to me?)

Sam realizes where they are: Cold Oak, SD. A town so haunted every resident fled the joint. Lily wants to get the hell out of Dodge. No one points it out to her that they’re not in Dodge. (I’m so funny.) Anyway, Sam tries to remain the voice of reason. Lily reveals that she accidentally killed her girlfriend. Wow. <Insert no joke because that’s some sad shit.>

Sam keeps the group mostly* together and instructs them to find weapons. *Lily takes off on her own.

Dean and Bobby rumble to the roadhouse and find it burnt to the ground. Dean finds Ash’s watch in the rubble. I don’t remember being too broken up about this on my first viewing, but upon subsequent viewings, I’m seriously bummed. Ash was great and this is really sad.

Lily keeps walking away from the group, in the forest, towards laughing child voices. Sounds like a plan. Sam finds a knife. Ava is hungry. Andy finds salt. They all discover that Lily is missing, but quickly find her.

Yep, she’s hanging from a rope in the town center. Ava wants to get the hell out of there, but the others realize it’s not going to be that easy. Sam is missing his brother. Aww. Andy says that he can try to use his mojo to contact Dean.

Dean is bitching about not finding Sam, when he gets a vision. He buckles under the psychic intrusion and tries to brush it off when he sees flashes of Sam and the bell in the town. Good thing Bobby’s there with his penetrating gaze and questions about what is obviously some kind of Sam-like vision. Bobby asks immediately if the engraving on the bell is an oak tree and based only on that fact, knows where to find Sam. We all want to grow up to be Bobby, right?

Back at the frontier theme park Sam and his new buddies continue to weapon up. Sam bonds with soldier Jake over their shared war experiences. We also get some fun dialogue about how Sam is beginning to doubt Dean’s ability to solve all problems, setting that up nicely for season 4.

Azazel’s recruits lay out salt circles, light candles, and line the windowsills with salt. Ava tells Sam that she wants to just curl up with Brady and watch bad TV. Sam breaks the bad news: her fiance is dead. She falls into his arms, weeping.

Sam falls asleep and Azazel walks into his dreams. Azazel tells Sam that he’s gathered them in this town to kill each other off until one person stands. Azazel wants a leader for his army. The rest of the “soldiers” are collateral damage. He tells Sam that Jess had to die because otherwise Sam would end up a tax lawyer with 2 babies and a paunch instead of a hunter/soldier in his prime.

The dream shifts to baby Sam’s nursery. Azazel explains that he accidentally murdered his mother. Yeah. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. “It wasn’t about her, it was about you.” Sam watches, shocked, as past-Azazel infects him with demon blood. Mary walks in and sees past-Azazel.

“It’s you,” Mary says. (Unsuspecting viewer: WHAAAA?) Horrified, Sam watches her get dragged to the ceiling and then...Sam wakes up to the news that Ava is missing. As they head off to look for her, Ava skulks out from behind a building. You can practically see the moustache twirling.

With the recruits divided, Ava corners Andy alone and lets the creepy demon child into the house to kill off Andy. She begins to weep and scream, claiming that she had gone out to get water from the well. Sam sees the window open and salt brushed away and calls her on her lies. He puts eight and five together and realizes that Ava had been fully in control during her five months’ absence.

She owns up to it. “People just keep showing up,” she says gleefully. “Children like us. Batches of 3 or 4 at a time.” She reveals that she’s getting into the killing. “I can’t believe I just started out having dreams. Do you know what I can do now?” She calls her demon girl in to get rid of Sam but Jake steps in and snaps her neck. Her control of the demon severed, the demon zooms away.

Sam decides it’s time to leave, only to be stopped by Jake. Jake reveals a similar dream from Azazel and tells Sam that he knows only one person can leave the town alive. If he escapes, Jake explains, he’ll kill Azazel for sure. So, could he please just kill Sam already and get it over with? Sam tries to talk him down. He drops his knife on the ground as a show of good faith. Jake slowly sets his weapon down as well. But then Jake gives Sam a super strength wallop. Yeah. Forgot about the super strength, eh? 

The two engage in fisticuffs. Sam grabs the iron bar from the ground, knocking out Jake. He lifts his hand for the killing blow then stops and tosses away the weapon. Because he’s Sam Fucking Winchester.

And then there’s Dean, yelling for his brother. Bobby and Dean have found their way to the town! You can practically hear the sound of trumpets hailing our heroes. And then a not-so-passed-out Jake stabs Sam in the back and twists the knife up towards his heart. Bobby runs after Jake while Dean cradles Sam. “It’s not even that bad,” he says as Sam dies in his arms. 

Me RN ^^

You wanted to end this week on a down note, right? You’re welcome. (Bwahh, and we have no scheduled date on recapping the second part to this episode!! The agonizing, tense, painful wait will probably not be worth it!)

The Ultimate Quote Match:

See if they got any pie. Bring me some pie!

Give me a minute. I’m still working through “demons are real”.

Gay porn, all hours of the day.

That was about as fun as getting kicked in the jewels.

I don’t think God has much to do with this, Sam.

[endlessceaselessboundless]

Humanity & Faith & Fan service

So the only other real life person I know who watches SPN is what you’d call a casual viewer. She thinks it’s fun, she likes watching them kill the monster of the week, and she thinks Cas and Dean are just really good friends. 

She finally just watched the first 4 episodes of S13 and I was dying to hear what she thought since I knew she didn’t ship it. And after watching those eps, she still doesn’t. Which is mindblowing and completely fascinating to me, because I felt like the show was really bludgeoning us over the head with the Dean and Cas love story during those eps. 

We discussed some moments from the show, Dean praying in the first episode for God to bring back Cas (and everyone), the Cas/Mary beers at the start of ep. 3, the mix tape and “I love you” scenes from S12, and basically she waved all of that away. A mixture of fan service and misplaced emphasis it seems. 

Now, I have also just finished reading, The Things They Carried for my book club, and the rest of this is gonna get cray cray, so it’s under the cut. 

The Things They Carried  is about the Vietnam War, and the author talks a lot about what makes a “true” war story, and basically he says all the stories he tells in the book are not true, but that they happened exactly like this. He breaks up several of the stories with his own sort of author commentary about truth and how a story should work. He says, “All you can do is tell it one more time, patiently, adding and subtracting, making up a few things to get at the real truth.”

This is so true, because this is how stories work. If we told a story exactly as it happened and included every possible detail then the story would be terrible (I know b/c I have a tendency to do this and everyone looks terribly bored in the middle of my stories). ALSO because the story likely involves people we can actually never know the whole story because some part of it, some very important parts of it, are locked in their brain forever. For instance- when Cas says “I love you” in S12, we must all interpret that in the way that best makes sense to us, because it is just never clarified. Cas’ final and real intentions in that scene can only be guessed at, I mean he was dying! Maybe he wasn’t even sure what his intentions were. That’s why we can never know the full truth about a story. 

That’s what I think Tim O’Brien the author of The Things They Carried meant when he said “making up a few things to get at the real truth.” Dean and Cas and Sam are never going to just tell us the real “truth” if they did the show would be terrible. Also, we often don’t know the real “truth” ourselves, so keeping the characters from telling us the truth is part of what makes them believable. 

When I told my non-shipping friend about the number of Cas beers versus Mary beers that Dean had next to his bed at the beginning of ep3 I was talking about something SPN had made up to get at the “real truth” of that scene and Dean’s headspace. This is ep.3 after all, we all know Dean is sad, the real “truth” of this scene is exploring what that sadness is about because we already knew he was fucking sad. The number and types of beer he drank are all part of explaining  the sadness, it’s showing the viewer something to get at the “truth” of his sadness. 

Now truth is highly flexible in some cases, and the thing that has really been pinging around my brain since we talked was her dismissal of certain things as fan service. The mention of fan service suggests that the scenes in question are not as legitimate because they were done to appease a certain faction of fans. That's the “truth” that some casual viewers live. I’m not terribly familiar with fan service, I thought it was just when anime girls wore skimpy clothes for no good reason, but apparently Dean giving Cas a mix tape off screen and then them having a convo about it later is also fan service. This seems wrong to me. 

Here’s the thing though, one character dressed in a sexy manner is not going to impact your plot that much, but creating a bunch of deeply emotional scenes between two major characters on a show, now that’s going to change the nature of your show.  So what is the nature of our show? I would argue there are several levels, there’s that casual viewer level where it’s just fun to watch the brother’s kill monsters and save the day. There’s a deeper level where SPN, like any good story, is about what it means to be human. Obviously, the deeper level covers a lot of ground. After 13 seasons we also have to accept that the nature of the show has changed. Sam and Dean are in very different places in their lives than when we started in season 1. The things they want, the questions they are asking themselves are very different. So....what is fan service then?

Season 1, the episode “Hookman,” Sam and Dean are at a college party trying to talk about the case. Sam looks uncomfortable, Dean wants to have some fun, he’s already making eyes at the party goers and scoping out his chances for the night. Fine. We don’t see who he’s looking at, it could be anyone, this could be Jensen ad libbing because Dean is into PEOPLE, he’s into SEX. Fine. BUT THEN a male extra walks into the frame and has a reaction to SAM and DEAN has a reaction to this. Sam is reading something and does not see this guy who is...checking him out? It’s unclear, pesky humans not revealing their true intentions! But DEAN CLOCKS THIS GUY IMMEDIATELY and has a STRONG reaction. He grabs Sam and moves him away and we cut to them in a different room of the party. Now it’s clear this WAS ALL INTENTIONAL on the part of the show. Someone had to tell that extra what to do and I wish,OH GEEZ I WISH SO HARD SOMETIMES, that I could know what the direction to that extra was. This is a tiny scene, it’s only a few second long, but it’s there to show us something about the characters. It shows us that Dean knows what’s up, he knows when a guy is cruising and he doesn’t want Sam involved in that, they don’t have time, Sam wouldn’t be interested, he’s a little jealous that some guy is checking out Sam and not him, could be anything, we don’t get to know what his final personal inner thoughts are. It shows us that Sam is disengaged from people, he’s not a partier, he’s still upset about Jess and he’s not looking for a good time, he’s looking for revenge, he’s looking for death, so he misses all the life going on around him, including the sex. 

What was my point again? Jensen is dreamy? I mean always, but no not that, Dean is bisexual? Yes, but more importantly it’s been there, it’s been intentional, it just wasn’t part of the plot. So was this small scene fan service? It would seem to suggest that Dean has a different relationship with men than Sam but at this point in the show none of the fans were asking for that, so is this not fan service? The nature of the show in season 1 was very different from where we are now - Sam and Dean didn’t have love interests because they were both going to die or the show was going to end after Season 5. So why was this short scene there? It was there because it makes things interesting, it reveals thing about our characters, gives them more depth.  

But now look at SPN, we are 13 seasons in and what are these two guys doing? I mean WHO are they doing? Because as Sheila O’Malley likes to point out in her recaps Sam is NOT getting laid enough. Even Dean has really slowed down in the one night stand department. Inevitably as we age we think about our life, what is our legacy? Oh wait, Sam and Dean have totally been talking about this for like 3 or 4 seasons now because they have finally reached a place in their lives where it makes sense to talk about it, to wonder about it, to look at your devastatingly handsome bestest bud angel and be like “You know what? Maybe I DO want to know the name of the person I wake up to in the morning.” Because maybe Sam was right back in Season 8 and ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE DEAD except this one sexy, sexy angel who’s been there through think and thin, the end of the freaking world and he still just looks at you with those sad, sexy eyes and what else are you supposed to do? Find some rando girl? No, I don’t think so. Also Sam was into that Eileen girl (as the representation of official culture this makes perfect sense for Sam, good job Sam. Sorry they killed your girlfriend). 

But, oh no! I made it about sex, which is apparently just me being a perv when it’s two dudes. If anything I think it should be about sex, because dudes, life is fucking about sex! That’s the whole point and that’s who Dean Winchester is, he is humanity, I’ve felt strongly that he should be canonically bisexual ever since he held up a whoopee cushion in, I dunno, season 4 or something and I realized he was the embodiment of humanity. It also makes sense that he should be in love with Cas, the representation of Faith on the show. Where would humanity be without Faith after all? We would be no where, we would all be monsters. I’m saying this as a devout atheist, so I don’t mean faith in God, SPN has clearly stated that God is not the answer, God will not be there for anyone. What we have to have faith in is ourselves, in each other. We have to have faith in the idea that we are enough, that we can overcome the challenges life throws at us and keep on living, keep on being good. 

So yeah, don’t tell me stuff is fan service. I’m not buying it. The show has a very consistent worldview you could say, and Dean and Cas’ relationship is a big part of that, it makes sense. I don’t think it’s invalid just because a bunch of fans like it and want more of it. That’s dumb. It becomes a chicken vs. egg argument. Which came first - the themes and symbols the show is working with to tell it’s story or the fan service of Dean and Cas making eyes at each other? *exasperated face*

If I could just bring this back to The Things They Carried, O’Brien says about people who misunderstand his war stories -

“It wasn’t a war story. It was a love story.”