#wanting and continuing to want and putting the effort into it becuz the love happened and could not be helped.

[lepertamar]

i hate………it when my loves’s patterns look like they are mere expressions of a preexisting and underlying platonic ideal i Actually love…..there was a post i saw asking if ppl had any kinks that they only had specifically in the context of doing it at or with one specific person, the implication and responses suggested this was very strange and unusual and it made me realize……nearly .all my kinks are like this—i do not have a kink for x, and merely want someone who is able to fulfill it. i have a kink for ‘doing x with this one specific person who is not interchangeable with any other person on earth who has ever lived.’ same with broader contexts of relationships—i don’t want to be looking for someone who fits Into a preexisting slot for me, i am not into a particular 'type' of thing and looking for real things that can fill—or mimic, live up to, sort of approximate—that role. that is not me! that is so not me!

sure there are obviously some patterns but that’s different, that’s only after the fact. the encounters are what create the pattern in me in the first place. my loves — in ideas, stories, etc — are not ‘oh this is an Example of the preexisting Thing i want’. they are things that i encountered that caused some kind of reaction in my electron bonds that cause me to stick to it and become a slightly different shape, and sure some of that is only possible because of what i am, but mostly it’s that once i have encountered this thing that reshapes my electron bonds and sticks to me, then i also become capable of sticking to similar things, or completely different things i wasn't able to stick to before, sometimes due to convoluted associations, often transcending the association after a bit and connecting with the other things independently of it. i have a really really hard time not reflexively — even just in my own brain—‘justifying’ my loves and patterns by trying to make up an underlying preexisting Empty Slot in the way other people do — trying unthinkingly to explain and come up with ‘a type’ (preexisting) that this one singular particular one-of-a-kind thing or person is just a mere example of/fitting candidate for—but it’s a lie when i do this. it’s lying to myself, and lying to others. i think i have done it on this blog before. but it’s ugly, and untrue, and not me.

[l0vem41l]

star stickers and best efforts.

「 tws + notes: no tws, unedited, hurt/comfort but 100% not at all, reader is mildly mean when nervous LIKE A BAD DOG /ref and most definitely written self-indulgently by accident, sun is mildly condescending, they r each others best supporters, mentions of a customer being rude but rly nothing crazy, sun uh... he's an interesting fella, BIGGG dialogue chunks im sorry im sorry 」

「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic <3 」

↳ ft. the daycare attendant/sun/sundrop

author's note: my wip title was literally just "the one where you're yelled at" :p but... hiiii!!! obligatory return to fnaf real quick becuz,,, no, i still havent gotten into the ruin dlc but YES i do love sun's personality in help wanted 2..... if this is ooc u can erm. shove me into wet concrete. (。﹏。) aaannywayz!! missed this!!! missed this so much!!!! ( ╯□╰ ) sorry for not valentine's day posting,,, scandalous ik since im lit rally Called Valentine. but oh well. enjoy! or dont. if you dont im sorry please request fnaf stuff so i can Fix That /srs

if you weren't relying on this job to put food on your table and a roof on your head, you’d burn the freddy fazbear’s mega pizzaplex to the ground for a piece of pocket lint and a pat on the head.

maybe it’s a bit dramatic to say that— you're paid well, you like your mostly robot coworkers, and most of the time (emphasis on most and not always) the work is manageable enough.

the customers are another story.

sun notices the minute you walk in the daycare. you look like you're a minor inconvenience away from murder— which naturally, makes him feel inclined to prod a little.

“well, someone’s awfully sulky today!”

while you’d typically crack a smile at the upbeat jester animatronic, his enthusiasm in the face of your misery is grating. there’s no energy left in your body to banter with him— you were using most of it to drag your feet over to the shoe caddy, toolbox in hand to fix up its shelf, now hanging askew due to a busted bracket.

“can it, sunny, i don't wanna hear it.” you mutter, more venomous than you intend it to be. he doesn’t even blink at your grumpiness. instead, he happily holds up the shelf while you inspect it and grab a new bracket to secure it.

at least he’s trying to make himself useful. you think to yourself.

his faceplate tilts slightly, staring at you with that ever present grin. his staring isn’t really helping, but you don’t fault him for it. you’ve gotten used to his antics by now. “woke up on the wrong side of the bed?” sun questions.

you shake your head.

“got yelled at by a customer— now, if you could please just drop the topic—” you sigh exasperatedly, not even bothering to finish the sentence as you sit down cross legged in front of the shoe caddy, slumping slightly in defeat.

much too persistent for his own good, sun decides that inquiring even further about the incident that seems to have you beat down is a good idea. “what’d you do?”

you consider feigning offense as he insinuates it’s somehow your fault. but you don’t. you just shrug it off.

“my job.” 

“ah, they do hate it when you do that.” he tuts.

“it wasn’t even that big of a deal,” you mutter, getting the bracket in place and marking it, “this one kid just so happened to walk up to the arcade machine i was putting an out of order sign on. i felt bad, so like, obviously, i hand the kid a few tokens, apologize politely, explain— and you’d think it’s all good right?”

you pause mid-ramble as you fix up the shelf. in all your misery, you forgot that you don’t even know exactly what caused the shelf to collapse like this. you consider asking.

sun leans in just a bit too close, interrupting your train of thought as you stare at the shelf. when you glance at him, he gives you a little nod.

go on, he seems to say wordlessly. he’s waiting silently for you to continue your story. it’s never not unnerving when he’s quiet.

“...anyways, uh... the kid’s dad came by and got mad or something. didn’t understand why i couldn’t just let him play one game since it looked perfectly functional— keep in mind, this is the arcade machine that literally kept eating up tokens only to not function, and shocked kids when it did— so i kept trying to explain why i couldn’t exactly do that. but for some reason, it was such a big fucking deal—”

“language.” he chides.

“...fricking deal. of course, i had to be berated for it. i offered to grab them more faz-tokens as compensation and i thought the problem was solved... and then i checked and saw he still left a bad review. definitely gonna hear about that from management.” sun hands you a tool as you continue to speak.

“but now i’m upset, i’m definitely in trouble, and my face hurts from the whole customer service smile i was holding that entire conversation. like seriously, i don’t know how i’m expected to do that 24/7.” you stop at your last remark and stare at sun and his unchanging expression. “...my bad.”

the awkward silence only lasts for a moment, thankfully. you’ve spoken your piece— sun decides to speak his.

“you did your best.” he says simply, as you finally fix the shelf into place. he pats you on the head and doesn't even hide his amusement when you sulk.

“i know that tone, sunny, you're making fun of me—”

“poor thing.” he continues, grinning brightly as he makes a show of patronizing you. sun’s hand continues to pat the top of your head gently, like he would when consoling a child. or when greeting a dog. has he,,, ever seen a dog before? probably not.

you groan and manage to shove his arm away.

“i do mean it though,” he continues, his tone still lighthearted— but notably more earnest as he notes your expression. sun helps you put your tools away neatly back into the toolbox, even though it really is just a one-man job.

“you tried your best,” sun closes the toolbox with a flourish and a click, “...and for that—!”

with a dramatic flick of his wrist, bells jingling as he does, sun produces a gold star sticker from… somewhere. he holds it up for you to see.

and then gently presses it onto the tip of your nose.

“to my favoritest human employee here! and my bestest of friends!” it’s hard to bite back a smile at those words. even if his little show of empathy and affection is much too theatrical for your current mood.

“whatever.” you shrug a little, unable to stop the corners of your mouth from twitching into a little grin. standing up and grabbing the toolbox, you give him an awkward thumbs up.

“thanks. and uh… sorry. for being mean. i guess.”

sun shakes his head dismissively, bouncy and bright as ever. “oh, don't mention it!”

something about his seeming lack of offense towards your prickliness makes you feel even more guilty. still, he gives you a wave as you head out, “bye-bye”-ing happily as you walk away, sticker stuck to your nose and smile on your face like an idiot.

you decide you’ll find a way to make it up to him later. you figure he deserves that much for putting up with everything.

meanwhile, sun is taking mental notes on more stuff to break of whenever you’ve been away for too long. just in case, of course. maybe you’d have more interesting customer encounters to rant about. and hey, you could use the company, couldn’t you?

— reblogs always appreciated!

[trapastrology]

All my pisces north nodes, forgive yourselves first and always!

Forgive the people who have done wrong BUT have genuinely changed (which is rare) and have put in an immense amount of effort to improve and they continue 🩷

We have a tendency to seek revenge on ourselves as well as revenge on those who did us wrong BUT are actively being better confusing them as the worst and making them pay for someone else’s actions.

So if you want to put it below, who do you want to forgive first or what’s something you’d want to forgive urself for?

I’ll go first

I’d like to forgive myself for being repeatedly by people I knew didn’t love me the way I loved them and never would. (As a 4H Pisces NN) I should never regret being open, loving and vulnerable. So for all the times I was & it went “wrong” I don’t regret it Becuz it’s taught me something even better. I don’t have to have my walls up 24/7 (10H Virgo sn) and stay on guard. I also have to let go(Pisces) of the way my parents (4H)treated me & their wrongdoings and stop trying to take it out on my partner whom I love and adore immensely. Not everyone is the same & not everyone is worth your revenge. A few months ago or even a week ago, I would’ve never shared this on my platform or even with anyone personally. But moments at home (4H NN) in isolation (Pisces NN) has taught me so much. So I’m no longer ashamed of what I’ve done, what has happened to me and I’m also willing to be better! & having such a sweetheart like mine (Venus sextile NN natal) has helped me learn so much about myself unintentionally and I love that. & I love him. 🩷 & I love you all for always supporting me, commenting, liking, booking readings, buying my book & more. I could never have thanked all of you enough and I hope everyone here feels appreciated and not used for money. I appreciate and always remember all of you! Y’all are like the family I never had in a way. So thank you for even taking the time out of ur day to read this. Have a good one🩷⭐️

-Ms.Aris🐉🤓

[awsugawara]

bnha hcs with an artsy s/o [2/?]

part two of this series! i will continue with maybe 2 more sets of bnha characters, so if i don’t touch basis with one you really like, then don’t be afraid to send a request! i can also do pt. 2s or scenarios for these, if y’all want as well :)

note: your quirk will be the same all around, if implied you have one!

Quirk: AMBIENT ILLUSION - with a single touch of your hand or glance, you are able to make your opponent think that they’ve been taken to another “realm,” but in actuality their body movements mimic those in the illusion; it’s a quirk that can be used for good or for bad; your creativity isn’t limited, but the side effects are headaches, nausea, and sometimes insanity for a short period of time until your stamina runs out or unless someone knocks you out

Hero Name: Chiaroscuro or Chiasu [for short]- referring to the major contrast of light and dark in an image; in italian it is said to literally mean light-dark

enjoy :)

---

i. midoriya

> you both go way back to childhood years, but you moved away

> you two only reunited because you knew mirio and he told you about izuku

> “wait- does he have a broccoli like hair?” 

> nevertheless, izuku was ecstatic to reunite with you and vise versa

> he noticed the subtle changes to your appearance, such as your choice of clothing

> you talked a lot about your newfound love for art and aesthetics, he found it cute

> he told you about all might and his new quirk becuz something seemed off about him

> being quirkless, you make the most of being kind to people all around the world and to those you meet

> that’s one of the qualities that izuku likes a lot about you

> he isn’t really there after moving to the dorms, so you try to make the effort to come see him and that’s how the rest of his friends met you

> he feels bad you’re always spending time alone, while he was training really hard

> as an artist, you do get insecure, so losing deku to his dream was kinda a harsh reality check and you needed to find another outlet

> you worked at a nearby art teacher at the night painting sessions and you loved it

> gaining better critiques and learning about different potential styles made you so much more confident

> when izu saw you after long grueling training for the provisional license exam, he saw you were glowing with confidence and he was convinced he was going to one day marry you

---

k. bakugo

> he keeps you a hidden secret from the rest of his nosy friends. PERIODT.

> katsu is kinda embarrassed to admit he has a BIG soft spot for your artsy self

> you work at an art store and one day kirishima and kaminari decided to grab some materials for an art project that aizawa assigned

> you happened to be there helping out a flirty kaminari and an enthusiastic kirishima

> he was just kinda there...staring at you and your cute HANDMADE grenade earrings

> “you good bakugo?” -kirishima asked when they left

> “tch whatever.” 

>  he was forced to go BACK THE NEXT DAY because he broke some of the markers when he was getting riled up

> he ACTUALLY made a compliment to your flame earrings that day and you wrote your number on the back of his receipt

> fast-forward, he takes the time to escape the dorms during the weekends to see you

> his mom LOVES you to DEATH

> she knows you’re the one and pesters baku about marrying you NOW

> neway, you’ve made cute little charms for your boom boom boi as good luck

> BONUS: you have matching charms that he keeps in a display case in his dorm room in his desk drawer

---

s. todoroki

> since he’s fairly quiet, he never really mentions you, except to his sister or izuku

> he collects the scrapbook pages you put together in a safe scrapbook

> for once, his dad is actually proud of his son’s gf and as he proclaims “his-future wife”

> your quirk is something that his dad practically fangirls about

> your family doesn’t really like the idea of quirk marriages just because they value trust and love

> shouto loves that and so he can be seen coming over often on the weekends

> he admires all the art pieces you draw in your sketchbook that you carry around for your quirk

> the more details you can memorize of a scene, the more the victim becomes more entranced

> he admires the fact that you like making art not only for your hero courses, but because you value making others happy with your gift

---

d. kaminari

> den asks himself how and why he ended up with such a cute and gifted girl

> you like making him small gifts and art pieces because it brightens his day

> but you attend seiai academy, which you extremely dread

> but when it comes down to it, you aren’t one to associate yourself with saiko intelli, just because she’s kind of in over herself with her fancy teas

> you spend a lot of time drawing and such that you never really socialize with the other girls

> you only attend seiai because you had gotten a recommendation from your old art teacher, and suddenly...you feel out of place

> all the girls in seiai seem to be snotty rich girls with nothing else better to do other than gossip and drink leaf juice

> denki tries to make you feel better after talking about his day and then asking about yours, which you respond to as “the same old lonely dorm room day”

> he feels really bad and tries to make you happy

> the day of the sports festival, he invited you to attend a week before since it was a really big deal coming from class 1-A

> you met his friends and eraserhead at the provisional license tournament, which you had finished pretty quickly, considering how you broke away from your peers and kinda just went for some unlucky chump

> eraserhead was impressed oop-

> anyway, when you saw their performance, you got literal chills and was pretty jealous of denki, you made some excuse to go home

> you ended up crying by yourself, but that crying sess ended when you found den at your dorm room, hugging the daylights out of you

> “i have a suggestion for you...how about you ditch these rich girls and come eat the rich with the rest of us at U.A.?”

---

f. tokoyami

> edgy boi + soft aesthetic s/o = b a l a n c e

> fumi isn’t one to outwardly express himself in the love dept, so how he ended up with you was simply being classmates

> being a transfer from shiketsu high school was probably the most nerve wrecking

> after everyone had gotten their provisional license, your dad came back from overseas and didn’t like that you weren’t at U.A., so...yea

> ANYWAY, fumi is soft edgy boi for you, and really admires your pieces

> he gives you ideas for some dark pieces that could help you spook more people 

> fumi does little thoughtful things to help you through commission surges like bringing you flowers, snacks and dinner

> when you moved into the dorms, the rest of class 1-A had convinced you to let them into your room, which consisted of a lot of ORGANIZED art supplies and...PETS????

> apparently you had gotten permission from aizawa to bring some of your pets to the dorms, such as a cat, a puppy and a couple of birds

> “i couldn’t possibly come up with my pieces without having them”

> **cue cuteness overload**

> class 1-A didn’t pick up on your relationship with him and when they did, they were like......!!!!

> it was all thanks to your polaroid and printed photos of all your friends and some of your dates with fumi

---

e. kirishima

> you met during one of his patrols with fatgum and tamaki

> fatgum recognized you as you frequently came from seiai to visit, since fatgum was your relative

> kiri was curious about you since you go to seiai, an all girls academy

> fatgum had taken you along with his two interns to patrol and let me say kiri began simping after seeing you in action

> as a prep girl, you spend quite some time in the art room for your quirk

> having been prepared, it wasn’t any big deal to have you take down the bad guy within mere 15 minutes

> you were close with tamaki, but even closer with kiri

> at one point, you both started dating and you met his friends when you came from seiai to drop off some food you made for him

> “you go WHERE???” -denki

> lemme say that a lot of class 1-A was skeptical of you, but kiri convinced them that you meant no harm and was just visiting him

> “it’s okay, kiri! i’m sorry to intrude! i’ll be heading out now!”

> **cue dejected kiri for the rest of the week**

> his classmates felt bad seeing him in such a downer state, and apologized to him

> “nah, it’s okay...i was kinda hoping you guys would like her too and i’m sorry i’ve been down lately...so not manly.”

> but they learnt that kiri’s gf had been getting bullied for dating someone from U.A. and they had to go and make it worse

> “kirishima?” -mina

> “oh hey, what’s up?”

> “how’s s/o?” -denki

> “do you think that s/o would want to come to U.A.?” -midoriya blurted out

> mission: get s/o to attend U.A.

---

SORRY SOME OF THESE ARE LONG! I COULDN’T HELP MYSELF AOAFNOANF