#watch in real time how i remember how to write leatin lol

[iamkidfish]

just wanted to pop by and thank you for the cazzie fic! i've been obsessed with them lately so having one of my fave fic authors write them really helped me cope. if you ever have the time i would love it if you could write something where leah is jealous of dot cuz she thinks there is something between dot and fatin, and fatin realizing this. thanks, have a great day!

thanks for your kind words! <3

here's a quick little 900 words for your prompt! also on ao3

Honestly, Fatin should’ve figured it out weeks ago (she’s usually better at this stuff) and she’s a little bit annoyed at herself for how long it took, even though the lack of food, sleep, orgasms, and the overall health benefits of spending your summer vacay shipwrecked on a deserted island has made her brain tragically lackadaisical in the social comprehension department, except of course, if the certain social interaction involves death or threats of injury, then she pays attention.

Still, Fatin has eyes. Eyes that have categorized and tracked every single other girl on this island, so she knows a thing or two about patterns of behavior and all that other junk about observational studies from her AP Psych class she took last fall. Between getting a five on the AP Exam and predicting the Toni/Shelby hookup (listen, they just had too much weird sexual energy between them for something to be not going on), she really deserves some sort of medal to recognize her achievements. But then, it’d have to be revoked too, on account of her being an idiot the past few weeks.

The evidence becomes even more glaringly obvious and Fatin’s forced to see what’s in front of her face: Leah has feelings for her, feelings that sometimes make Leah more territorial of Fatin than usual.

Maybe she should do some of her own unpacking of why that realization has her stomach doing flips, especially every time they all have a meal on the beach, and Fatin notices how Leah chooses to sit down next to her more often than not, sitting so close sometimes their knees knock together.

It starts small, of course. Interactions Fatin would deem inconsequential, if she wasn’t so in tune with Leah’s general state of being—which, on the island, teeters between fragile and volatile, at best—so really the first hints aren’t really hints at all, until she’s looking back and includes them with the rest of the examples. By themselves though, a few moments here and there when Leah looks at her funny aren’t anything substantial. It certainly happens other times too, not just when Fatin is pretending to flirt with Dot, like when she sticks around and helps Dot with the inventory, or like last week when they all voted in favor of recon missions into the woods (to scope out more potential relocation spots ) and Fatin voted for Dot’s argument without even really thinking, and then volunteered to go on said recon missions with Dot, when everyone knows walking in the woods, or walking in general, isn’t her favorite thing, or like—

Okay, maybe Fatin is noticing a pattern now. But if she’s only just realized something odd about Leah’s behavior, the rest of the girls, especially Dot, are blissfully oblivious. Fair enough, staying alive has got to take up most of everyone's time and energy, so there really is no time for the type of drama Fatin used to live for, back before the island. That’s her old life now, she supposes, before a plane ride irrevocably changed the trajectory of her life forever.

In the end, Dot helps her in the most Dot way possible, because of course; she’s helped Fatin in every other way on this island, why not one more of Fatin’s predicaments for her to solve? Dot helps Fatin and doesn’t even realize it, just wanders over to her one day and tells her, tonelessly, “Leah wanted to switch with me for firewood duty today. Weird, since she hates it.”

It’s like she has the last puzzle piece to figuring everything out, but then suddenly, the puzzle goes missing. Later, when they’re walking through the woods, various shaped branches and sticks in hand, Fatin tries to get a read on what Leah really seems to be feeling, but the other girl is guarded with her emotions for once, and they only make small talk while doing their chore.

Thankfully, it’s that night that everything finally clicks into place. Fatin’s dozing, almost asleep, when she feels the sand shift around her, meaning Leah’s turning over to try to get comfortable. (Another thing Fatin now notices, Leah makes it a point to claim sleeping space next to Fatin most nights.) She tries to keep her breath even so Leah doesn’t suspect she’s still awake—not that anything would happen right now, they’re surrounded by the six other girls, most of them who are probably still awake. Fatin feels the sand shift again and imagines Leah’s arm moving to tuck itself under her head. It’s her own preferred way of sleeping, using her upper arm as a pillow and having the rest of her arm and hand stick out. Instead, she feels the soft heat of Leah’s hand on hers, just barely, as her pinky finger loops itself around Fatin’s own finger. There’s a second where Fatin feels both of their heartbeats (she hopes Leah can’t tell hers has ticked considerably uptempo) before they sync up, beating as one.

Fatin doesn’t dare open her eyes, she just lays there listening to the roll of the waves and feels the thrum of both of their hearts beating together, under the stars.

(In the morning, Toni shoots her an eyebrow-waggling when she walks over to wake them both up and sees their hands tangled together (Fatin wonders when that happened during the night) but she doesn’t even care.)