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May 16, 2018: Columns

Ruth Graham—a lifetime of being good to others...

Editor’s note: The following are remarks give by Ken Welborn at the Tuesday funeral of Ruth Graham.

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

Good morning.

My name is Ken Welborn, and I am honored to be given a few moments to speak about a truly remarkable lady, Ruth Graham.

On Monday afternoon, when I called Dickie Whittington to tell him I might be a bit late for the Rotary meeting because I was going to Ruth Graham's wake at Reins-Sturdivant, he went silent, then he drew a long, slow breath and said simply, “Heaven got another angel this past Thursday.” That reaction was universal-- sadness, and then a quick recount of something Ruth had done for them, their family or a friend.

In addition to her work as a wonderful nurse, and as director of nursing at Wilkes General Hospital, she was also involved with many outside groups and organizations, notably working tirelessly on the Dr. Fred C. Hubbard Scholarship Fund.

She had a deep abiding love of God, and for this historic church in which we have gathered to remember the wonderful soul that was Ruth Graham.

And how she loved this church (the First Baptist Church of North Wilkesboro). Her obituary noted that she was a member of the Home Health Board, a Deacon and Assistant Clerk, as well as serving on the Library Committee, the Homebound Committee, and the Benevolence Committee. Just the names of the groups on which she served speaks volumes to her kindness and sincere interest in the welfare of others. Her name would come up in the company of folks like Raymond Blevins, and U. W. Foster, just to name a couple of First Baptist icons in their own right.

There was simply no downside to Ruth Graham. If she had an enemy on this earth, they have had the good sense to keep their mouth shut about it.

Most of my life with Ruth revolved around her long-standing friendship with my second father-in-law, Dr. William L. Bundy. They had worked together for many years at the then Wilkes General Hospital after Ruth had moved to Wilkes in 1954 with her husband, James “Jim” Graham, a teacher at Millers Creek High School. While she did not work for Dr. Bundy. she certainly worked with him a great deal, most notably often making hospital rounds with him at night after his office had closed. This was a blessing for Dr. Bundy and his patients, because his hearing problems were legendary, and, while Ruth's notes were a great help, her hearing clarified many a patients concerns and conversations with the good doctor, to the benefit of all.

Circumstances create a lot of twists and turns in people’s lives. If ever the saying “when one door closes another door opens” has a home, it is in the lives of Ruth Graham and Bill Bundy. In 1989 Jim Graham died suddenly and shortly thereafter Beatrice Bundy also passed away. Call it what you may, random changes, fate, karma, but, after a few months had passed, Ruth Graham and Dr. Bundy, already friends for many, many years; were inseparable.

I already knew Grandpa Bundy to be as kind and as forgiving a man as you could ever want to know, and I soon came to know Ruth Graham as an angel on this earth. As he became more feeble, I would offer to do some task or errand for him, but he would always brush it off, “Graham knows who to call,” or “Mrs. G. has already looked after that.” The one thing I did do for him was to start putting his morning paper behind his storm door after I saw him almost fall down the front steps one morning. He did go along with that one.

Bill and Ruth went everywhere together, and it became obvious they were far more than just friends. In some ways shy, and certainly not the most demonstrative person you ever met, Grandpa Bundy never really confided his feelings to me. Then one evening when Ruth had called me to go check on him because he wasn't answering the phone, I went to his house on Cowles Street in North Wilkesboro. As soon as I arrived, I knew exactly what the problem was--his hearing aids--because I could hear the television set outside in the driveway. His batteries had run down and he had gradually cut the sound up on the TV so he could hear the programs, and he couldn't begin to hear the phone ringing.

After I let myself in and got his attention, we changed out his batteries and he called Ruth to let her know he was all right. As I sat in the chair next to his recliner, they spoke for about five minutes. I waited patiently till they finished, because on these particular evenings I would often stay awhile and we would swap stories. He could be funnier than Jay Leno. He then closed the phone call to Ruth with “I love you, goodnight.”

Well, I don't know that I had ever heard him utter those three words to anyone since I met him as a high school student in 1965. So, with my new found opening I felt emboldened a bit and asked him if he would mind if I asked him something kind of personal. “What's that?” he replied. I told him that I had heard him say out loud something that I and everybody else already knew, that he loved Mrs. Graham.

He smiled broadly and queried, “And?” So I blurted out, “Why didn't you just marry her and get it over with?” “Kenneth,” he began, “I had no idea she could manage to keep me alive this long, or I would have.”

And take care of him she did, to the very end. Ruth, me, and a niece and nephew were at home with Grandpa Bundy when he drew his last breath on a hot Friday evening in August of 2003. Jimmy's wife, Diane, told me that the last sound Ruth made was to say, “Bill…, Bill...” just before she died.

Now that's a love story for the ages.

I'm just about finished, but I want to leave you with something that I know will have Ruth smiling down at us today.

In her obituary, when it came to the part about the family visitation at the funeral home on Monday, it said that “... those attending can help celebrate Ruth's life by wearing red.”

Well, anyone that knew her knew that she was the enthusiastic N. C. State Wolfpack fan that ever lived. She will be wearing her bright red jacket throughout eternity, complete with an N. C. State pin.

It is with this in mind that I share with you her favorite bumper sticker of all time, one which she faithfully displayed on her car. So with a nod to Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson, here it is, words to live by from Ruth Graham, “Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Tar Heels.”

Thank you.

Ruth Long Graham

September 8, 1925 – May 10, 2018

Rest in Peace

After Mothers Day

By LAURA WELBORN

It's the Mothers Day cards and good wishes that make Mothers Day all worthwhile. Behind the cards and sentiments is the feeling of being appreciated. We may not do everything right but when we get the chance to see our children become parents and when they acknowledge how hard being a parent is that we realize our life’s work is worth it. Because being a parent is the hardest work we do.

As a grandparent I work hard at keeping my mouth shut and not constantly reminding my child that I was a Pediatric nurse, a child development specialist and a mother and stepmother of nine. The inside of my mouth has sores from chomping down and not giving advice. (I am not always successful as I do slip more than I care to admit) I am reminded of the saying, “You are never a King in your own land.” Quite frankly I found being a stepparent much easier as I could relax and just be a “buddy” and not be responsible for the outcome. My best advice comes from living and “walking the talk.” I try to plant little seeds of wisdom and hope they grow without me hovering and over watering the seeds.

I like to think of myself as raising my children in the “free-range parenting style” versus the helicopter parent, but being a grandparent has challenged that theory. I guess as we get older we worry more see the upcoming hardships and want to change the story. What I have found is that I try and make my advice general life lessons that I have learned (usually the hard way) and stay away from the direct advice of “don’ts and do’s” they listen more. So here goes:

What we focus on grows stronger in our life, so its important to focus on the positive and take responsibility for our happiness even when we don’t feel like it. How do we train our mind to make the best of what we’ve got in front of us, even when it’s far less than we expected is the key.

The stories we tell ourselves change what we see in life. When we enter an experience with a story about how life is, that tends to be what we see, even when there’s plenty of evidence against it. So it becomes important to check our stories to make sure they are not reinforcing our own viewpoint.

How do we keep our children from letting the bad things that happen take over their thinking? Negative thinking stops us from seeing and experiencing life’s positive and neutral outcomes, even when they happen often. It’s as if there’s a special mental block filtering out everything except the data that confirms the negative biases we have. The answer is to redirect towards positive thoughts ultimately helping them change their response. There are people I know that have faced a lot of childhood adversity, yet they keep a healthy happy attitude and their lives are positive against all odds. Then there are those that have less traumatic childhood experiences but they get stuck on the negative and tend to live very unhappy lives.

I want my children to be able to be the ones who overcome the negative (adverse childhood experiences) and pass on a positive happy childhood to their children, so maybe I will slip in a few of these words of wisdom along the way.

Transforming the Landscape

By EARL COX

Special to The Record

Right now in Israel there is much taking place. The US Embassy has moved to from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. The Iranians are threatening Israel on her northern border with Syria and the Palestinians are rioting along the Gaza border sending firebombs attached to kites over the border fence causing Israel’s harvest to go up in smoke. Yet, even in the face of turmoil and chaos, Israel presses on leading the way in so many areas to include science and technology - both of which are important to America’s farming communities.

For example, Israel is a powerhouse in agricultural technology and holds an edge in genetic plant research. Her advances in gene editing (GE) have the potential to make agriculture more sustainable for the world’s booming population, despite climate change.

In arid regions of the world, drought can slash crop yields by up to 25 percent. Israeli scientists are researching desert plants such as East African natural wheat cultivars, which resist drought and intense heat. But wild wheat cultivars expose them to a toxic compound, making them useless for breeding, said Dr. Avi Perl, chief scientist for the Israeli Ministry of Agriculture. “We are genetically editing these cultivars to eliminate the gene responsible for the negative traits,” he said. “Then we can safely use them to introduce drought- and heat-tolerant cultivars into commercial wheat.”

Safe use is key, Perl stressed, emphasizing the difference between editing genes and modifying them. Genetically modified organisms (GMOs) introduce DNA from foreign species into plants, often with unpredictable results. But gene editing simply removes a gene with an undesirable characteristic that occurs naturally in one species.

“Genome editing mimics what God does through natural mutation,” Perl said, speaking by phone from his experimental vineyard in the Mediterranean heat. “In a vineyard growing green grapes, the farmer finds a red one of the same cultivar. This is a natural mutation in color. That’s why gene editing is a safe breeding tool.”

Despite scientists’ duplication of a natural phenomenon, every novel food product in Israel must pass a rigorous risk assessment and regulation process, Perl said. “We read all the genes in the plant to ensure there’s no random insertion of foreign DNA into the crop from another source. There’s a Yiddish saying, “Don’t just wear your belt, put on your suspenders too—in other words, provide an extra layer of safety.”

Because of Israel’s risk-assessment and registration processes for GE foods, the USDA in 2017 approved it as a breeding tool, and also permits the marketing of GE agricultural products without labels. But plants and their progeny into which foreign DNA is inserted remain subject to regulations and guidelines, and require USDA consumer labeling in the United States.

Experts agree that the safety of genetically modified foods has not been proved. But due to consumer concern about GMO safety—it’s important for the public to be informed of the facts as to the safety of GE foods, Perl said. Otherwise, resistance to innovation could curb its potential to combat hunger and disease.

Gene editing can make our foods safer to eat, Perl said. Potatoes are popular, and children love fries and chips. But when potatoes are cooked in hot oil, temperature shock produces acrylamide, a toxic carcinogen that also disrupts hormones, stimulating premature puberty. Israeli scientists are examining deletion of the acrylamide-producing gene.

They’re also tackling a gene in eggs that causes allergies and adverse reactions to measles, mumps, rubella, and flu vaccines, which use egg protein or cells during production. “Eliminating the gene would make eggs a valuable source of hypoallergenic protein and produce safer vaccinations,” Perl said.

Gene editing holds promise for medicine as well. Medical cannabis research in Israel focuses on deleting the THC compound that causes hallucination, while retaining benefits such as pain relief. The new medical marijuana plant may eventually treat anxiety and depression without the risk of addiction.

“In bigger countries, there’s often resistance to innovation when you bring a new technology to agriculture,” Perl said. “But farmers here are eager for innovation, which eases the testing process. Israel is like a small beta [product-testing] site for the rest of the world.”

Though Israel bans commercial GE crop production, it endorses GE research and development, subject to seed-regulation laws. Israel's Ministry of Agriculture has announced the allocation of funds to subsidize GE research for breeding new fruit and vegetable varieties.

Early Summer

By CARL WHITE

Life in the Carolinas

What do you do when Summer comes early? In the Carolinas tubing and kayaking down a meandering river is a favorite for many. My niece Kaylee enjoys being in the sunshine with family, friends and no cell phones.

As it turns out the Yadkin River is a great place to meet another fun-loving nature enthusiast. 11:00am -6:00pm is a good float time. You can get a good amount of sun, and there are easy access places to stop and enjoy a picknick along to way.

One of the places that Kaylee’s group likes to put in is at the park in Ronda NC and float down to Elkin. The waters are smooth for the most part.

It’s a great way to take the edge off, and even with a group, you can get some quiet time. She says, “it’s just you and the sounds of nature.”

It’s important to know the waters you are in, and responsible floaters always carry a few extra trash bags and clean up after those who are less considerate. Kaylee said, “I would not necessarily call someone out on being a litterbug, however, “We like to leave places better than we find them.” It’s a regular part of our summer life, and it just would not be right to leave the trash for others.”

Many of our Greenways in the Carolinas join up with waterways. I have written about the calm of brackish waters of the moss-draped Live Oaks along the Waccamaw River in Conway SC. It’s a beautiful stop on the way to Myrtle Beach.

Goat Island Park in Cramerton NC features guided and non-guided walking trails and welcomes the South Fork River which is another favorite for many kayak enthusiasts. If you catch the park on the right day you can take part in other local activities.

Falls Park in Greenville SC offers both city dwellers and visitors a chance to enjoy a tranquil moment with nature as the Reedy River provides a natural water feature and the well-maintained trails inspires the user to leave behind the unwanted stress of the day.

It is reported that the impressive Liberty Bridge is unique in its geometry and there is nothing like it anywhere else in the United States.

Harriet Wyche brought the idea of Falls Park to the Carolinas Foothill Garden Club and worked tirelessly with others to see that it was built.

She said “I believe having a place where city people can go is as important to a community as an economy is. A green area is absolutely vital to any urban place.”

In the Carolinas we have many places to commune with nature. The kind of places that allows us to forget about our troubles. If we are lucky, we may just leave most or all of them on the trail. I am sure they are biodegradable.

It’s easy for me to be proud of my niece for embracing nature and a since of responsibility in keeping it tidy.

Of all the things she loves, kayaking with her mother and fishing with her father are at the top of her list. These are the things that bring about her biggest smiles.

I join the list of many others who take heart in the line from the film directed by Robert Redford. ” In life and in love all memories become one and a river runs through it.”

May we all enjoy the heat that drives us to our rivers and streams and the memories that will last a lifetime.

Carl White is the executive producer and host of the award winning syndicated TV show Carl White’s Life In the Carolinas. The weekly show is now in its seventh year of syndication and can be seen in the Charlotte viewing market on WJZY Fox 46 Saturday at noon. For more on the show visit www.lifeinthecarolinas.com, You can email Carl White at [email protected].

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