#we are survivors

[lgbtq-archives]

𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡 & 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐆𝐁𝐓𝐐 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 | 𝐖𝐞 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐬!

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

[citrusacidic]

assigned pookie bear at birth 😢🫶

[dawntrailing]

FINAL FANTASY XIV: DAWNTRAIL

[azatas]

"we need more complex female characters" you couldn't even handle her

[cozylittleartblog]

8th annual nick valentine post! fallout 4 npcs Love sitting. they'll see a chair and ask "is anyone gonna sit here" and not wait for an answer. its like nick is on a personal quest to sit in every chair in the commonwealth. if he sees a chair its on sight

its because his joints are bad, obviously. he's like 140

[thebibliosphere]

I just read the most unhinged ask accusing me of some TikTok, new age, other dimension bullshit regarding my “belief” that I’m married to Mothman and how I’m “promoting mental illness as spiritualism.”

Like, bestie, I don’t know how to tell you this, but that's my spouse's username @mothman-etd.

[fellthemarvelous]

It pisses me off to see the way some Star Wars fans are so dismissive of Reva, Third Sister.

She's complex. She's interesting. She's clever. She's intelligent. She's strategic. She's conflicted. She's traumatized. She's scared. She's angry. She's a survivor.

The Obi-Wan Kenobi series literally opens with her and her friends watching one of her Jedi mentors get gunned down by clone troopers during Order 66.

She was a FUCKING CHILD!!! They were in the middle of a lesson when the clones walked in and started shooting everyone!! These were Anakin Skywalker's troopers and they were executing every single Jedi around them.

These children had NO idea what was going on. They were scared and they tried to run to safety.

We remember this scene from Revenge of the Sith and we all immediately knew what it meant.

These are the same bodies that Obi-Wan Kenobi found when he and Yoda returned to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant after having to kill so many of Anakin's clone troopers just to survive.

These are children that the Jedi Council wasn't there to save.

Palpatine snuffed out the light of the Jedi in one swift act of terrorism and then blamed the Jedi for their own genocide after taking over the entire galaxy.

And in times of war, the weakest among everyone always suffer the most.

This is what Reva, Jedi youngling, remembers most about the end of the Clone Wars.

Anakin Skywalker, hero of the Clone Wars and former padawan of the great Obi-Wan Kenobi, murdered all of her friends and injured her.

She had to play dead amongst the dead bodies of her friends, and that's how she survived. She witnessed Anakin Skywalker murder all the Jedi in the temple with no one there to stop him because the other Jedi Masters were being executed in a war they had never wanted to enter into in the first place.

She blames herself for not being able to save her friends because she wasn't strong enough to fight back. No youngling was ever going to be strong enough to stand against Anakin Skywalker. She wanted revenge against Anakin Skywalker, and she was just as desperate to get to Obi-Wan Kenobi as he was. She wanted to kill Anakin Skywalker just as badly as Darth Vader wanted to kill Obi-Wan.

She was alone in a galaxy that tortured and executed surviving Jedi. She spent ten years plotting her revenge against Anakin. She was angry at Obi-Wan for not being there to stop Anakin, and rightfully so.

The Republic fell. Reva and her friends were left unprotected. She was the only person she relied on because everyone else failed her. She was only a child when she lost everyone.

And it's clear she was conflicted by her role as an Inquisitor. She doesn't have the training the other Inquisitors do because she volunteered to be an Inquisitor while all the others were tortured and terrorized into falling to the dark side. She only wanted access to Anakin so she could get justice for what he did to her and her family.

Unlike Anakin, Reva couldn't find it in herself to harm a child. She was seeking revenge solely against Anakin Skywalker. Luke and Leia are the same age she was when she watched her friends and family die in front of her.

Yes, she was prepared to torture Leia, but she consistently hesitated, and when Tala walked in, Reva turned away. She stopped. Yeah she was mad, but she didn't have to go through with it. She'd already planted a tracker on Lola. She was already planning on allowing them to escape so she could locate their secret base. She just needed to bait Obi-Wan. Her plan worked perfectly, and she didn't even have to hurt this child who was annoying the shit out of her (not realizing she was dealing with Anakin Skywalker's offspring).

She went to Tatooine to kill Luke, but she couldn't. She hunted him down without bothering to kill Owen or Beru. She only cared about one thing. Getting justice for what happened to everyone she had been unable to save at the end of the war. She was only a child, and when she realized she was about to kill a defenseless child just to get revenge, she couldn't do it. She saw her face when she looked down at Luke and cried when she realized she couldn't do it.

She was so horrified by what she had been prepared to do and returned him to Owen and Beru alive. She fell to her knees and sobbed because she thought she failed her family in the end.

Obi-Wan was there for her this time. He reminded her that by showing mercy, she was giving her friends and family peace. She was not going to become the monster that Anakin Skywalker was.

Obi-Wan helped her and reminded her that she gets to decide who she wants to be from this point forward. She refused to become Anakin Skywalker, and a weight was finally starting to be lifted from her shoulders. A weight she had been carrying for ten long years.

She did what she thought she had to just to survive. She had only been a child with no guidance because everyone she loved died. She survived by joining the ranks of the enemy so she could plot her revenge. Obi-Wan showed her mercy at the moment she needed it most. He wasn't angry with her. He was compassionate. She survived Order 66 just like he did, but she had been defenseless when they were thrust into a galaxy that tortured and killed Force sensitive individuals and those who helped them. He had failed Reva during Order 66, and he wasn't going to fail her this time.

She is getting a second chance at finding her path in life despite the bad things she did. Everyone deserves a second chance. She was robbed of her childhood and had to grow up overnight. She had to learn how to survive. And that's exactly what she did. Just not in the way she expected.

[stealingpotatoes]

I get the feeling if cal and merrin have kids of their own, cal would definitely be buying ponchos for them for like the next ten years or so of their lives lol

but the drama when they get to teenagerhood...

(commission info // kofi support!)

[qbedience]

SR-1 squad advocate for mental health

[gobald]

You both wear the same outfit:

[thundergrace]

Erica Ash died from cancer today. It really is a shame she never got her big break in Hollywood. But that isn't to say she didn't make an impression.

I knew her from The Big Gay Sketch Show. Then she was on the last season of MADtv. The next really notable thing I watched her on was Survivor's Remorse (M-Chuck, one of few Black lesbian characters ever, still). She was also hilarious on The Real Husbands of Hollywood. Speaking of which, she produced tumblr's favorite meme on that show:

I think the very last thing I saw her on was Legacies. She played MG's mom, and she was so good. That was the first time I'd seen her play a dramatic role.

Ah wait no she was in Horror Noire, that's right! I recommended that to you guys! It is so good!

Seems the last thing she was in was a family horror film with Anthony Mackie, David Harbour, and Jennifer Coolidge called, 'We Have a Ghost' last year. So I'll be checking that out soon!

R.I.P Erica 😔

[stalkersquirrel]

We Are Survivors | Chapter 8

Writer: StalkerSquirrel | Co-Writer: Unicornymous

Warning The Overall Story Contains: apocalypse, fighting, weapons, death, murder, horror, dark thoughts, dark moments, fantasy creatures, mutant creatures, Fallout Series Themed, powers, religions, etc.

Chapter 8: Love

"When is Basil coming back?" Bonny asks as she gently rocks Casper, "Tomorrow, why?" Ace answers before adding an question as he looks up from his book. "Casper is more pink then before-" Bonny starts but Ace quickly cuts her off, "Uxue said he is fine that all it is, is because of the hard crying. He did just finished crying just seconds ago." The wolf tries to reassure but the look she gave him told him that she was still worried. With a heavy sigh he gets up and walks over to the bed before sitting beside her, "The moment Basil gets here, I'll request him to look at Casper." Ace states as he pulls her into his embrace carefully to not disturb the baby. "Thank you." Bonny whispers after a few moments as she gets up to lay Casper in his bassinet, "Are you watching tonight?" The bunny asks as she crawls underneath the covers. "No, Jae and Eirik are watching tonight. They volunteered for Zhi and me." Ace replies as he carefully climbs over his wife to get to his side of the bed, "I haven't seen him in a week, I hope he's okay." Bonny whispers as she cuddles up against her husband before trying to get some sleep.

"Good evening, Jae!" Eirik calls out with a soft smile as he waves towards the sleepy slime, "Not so loud, people are sleeping." Jae states as they walk up the steps. "Are you ready to test out my weapon tonight?" Eirik asks as he holds up the gun that he shot the beast with a week ago, "Yes!" Jae shouts before a cuss drop soon after as they looks around them to make sure no one was exiting from their homes. "I thought we were suppose to be quiet?" The black haired man teases as he sets his night bag down beside one of the chairs before readying it up for Jae, "Leave me alone!" Jae whines as they set their miniature bag on the long end table. "Tell me about the weapon." Jae says as they take the weapon from Eirik, looking it over.

Eirik sits down in his chair as he thinks back to the vault with a soft smile, "My husband, Nikon made it. He called it the 'Windslicer' because no matter how strong the winds and if you use only the powdered pellets, it'll never ever go off course." Eirik explains as his eyes look out into the darkness. "But the weapon is best suited during windy days or surroundings with loud machinery." Jae looks over their shoulder with confusion, "Why?" The slime asks as they lower the weapon. "Because it is quite loud." The black haired man states as he takes the weapon back, "Have you ever used it back in Settlement 22?" The slime asks as they sat in the chair beside the long end table. "Only once." Eirik answers as a wicked grin spreads across his lips before shaking his head and looks over with a soft smile, "Anyways, it's an good weapon for picking people off. If you are able to keep your hands steady and aim for the ear canals then people would be confused what is happening, the powdered pellets won't kill them instantly and depending on what powder you use depends how they react." Eirik picks up several different hardened powdered pellets.

"Which one is your favorite to use?" Jae asks as the lends forward on the end table in between the chairs, "The yellow one: it will immediately numb whenever it hits, it'll start thinning the blood and it takes roughly three hours to kill someone if they aren't bleeding out." Eirik explains with excitement before he carefully puts the pellets into separate small bags. Jae watches carefully before lending back and grabbing their bag, "Want to get high?" Jae asks as they pulls out a tiny bag. "Definitely." The man said with a grin as he opens the lantern as he grabs a fire stick, Jae holds the blunt out and Eirik lit it before turning away to blow out the fire stick.

"Got another question." Jae finally speaks up after a few minutes, "Shoot away." Eirik replies but not bothering to open his eyes as he stays relaxed in his chair. "How many people have killed?" The slime asks as giggles leave him as he tries to keep themselves from turning into a puddle, "With the weapon or with the sabotage?" The question leaves him as he lazily looks over at the hybrid. "What sabotage?" Jae asks in surprise as their eyes widen looking over at the man, "The sabotage that made my unit leave." Eirik grins as he closes his eyes again. "That was you?" Jae whisper yells as they lead over the end table, "Why? What made you do it?" The slime questions as Eirik's laugh fills the air. "Enyo's parents were idiots. I knew my parents shouldn't have said anything to them, the moment they learned about the gas they were like 'Oh No! How could you?' and 'What about the children?' God, they were so annoying and even more when they decided to change the rules and how to run the vault" Eirik's voice grew in anger before shaking his head, "For fifty years they stopped the gas, so it was fifty years of build up. Accidental sabotage but I'm not mad, they finally understand it now." Eirik explains as he runs a hand through his hair.

"I killed two people with the Windslicer and over 20 people with the sabotage but they didn't stay dead for long so technically I only killed one person." Eirik states as he closes his eyes and lends back, all the while Jae process the information. The slime didn't know when it happened but they felt strangely sober again and just as Jae realized that, they also realized that the man in front of them was a serial killer. The slime looks down at their feet before slowly getting up, "I am going to get some water." Jae states as they look over their shoulder at Eirik. The man waves his hand, unaware of everything around him as the slime tries not to race down the metal stairs or tried to keep a normal enough speed as they head towards Rosabell's leader.

Bonny shoots up in her bed, the sound of rapid knocking wasn't what woke her. The sound of her babies crying did, she shakes Ace before getting out of bed after confirming that the man was waking. "What is it?" Ace asks groggily as he sits up watching Bonny pick up on of the boys, "Get the door." Bonny barks in annoyance from lack of sleep and crying babies. The wolf nods as he stumbles out of bed and rushes to the door, a distressed slime wasn't on his list of things to see tonight but there they were. "Jae, what's wrong?" Ace asks in confusion as he lends out the door to see if anyone else was around, "Can we talk inside?" Jae asks quickly, every bump in the night making them jumpy as they thought that Eirik might have realized what he confessed. "Shit, yeah, come on in." The wolf said as the step aside allowing the slime to rush in, "Jae?" Confusion left Bonny as she looks at the nervous slime. "What's wrong, baby?" The motherly side left the bunny as she set her son down, they were quiet again but peace was a limited luxury, "Eirik is a bad man." Jae blurted out making the other two furrow their brows. "What makes you think that?" Ace asks as they watch the slime sit down on the couch and Bonny follow close after, "Because he confessed to me that he was the one that sabotaged the vault." This took them back as the couple looked at each other before looking at the slime. "You are sure that he said the he, Eirik, did that?" Ace asks carefully, he was shocked.

Ace knew whatever happened that the vault dwellers were going to fight, he knew some hearts would be shattered as he walks out of his home. Ace walked up to Enyo's home knocking on the door, the tired woman opens it after a few seconds has passed. "Ace? Why are you waking me up?" She asks in confusion as Nick steps into view behind Enyo, choosing to ignore the thought of why Nick was there. "We got information on Eirik and I wanted to tell you first since this is your team." The wolf starts causing Enyo to straighten up but the confusion never left her, "Eirik confessed to sabotaging your vault." This took a minutes for them to process before Enyo shakes her head rapidly, "No, no, no. Eirik would never do that! He had people he loved in there, he had a family!" Enyo states as she turns to Nick but Nick was still processing what he heard. "I am sorry but based on what I received it seems he knew what he was doing and what he was doing it for." Ace quickly adds as he hears a door to his left open, "What is going on?" Sven's voice was recognized quickly causing everyone to look at him before back at each other, "Ace just told us that Eirik sabotaged the Vault." Nick replies as he slips pass Enyo. "What? That can't be! If he did then... then..."Sven trails off as he looks pass Ace's shoulder, "Did you lie to us about Sonja?" Sven's question caught everyone off guard but soon made clear when they see Eirik standing in front of his group's houses.

"That Sonja killed Monat? That Sonja couldn't accept Monat or Nikon?" Eirik asks as he tilts his head back, his body still showing he was relaxed still. "What I said about Monat is true but I lied about Sonja's actions." Eirik clarifies a bit as his eyes darted to Ace, Ace freezes when he finally sees in the darkness that Eirik is holding a weapon. "Then tell us the truth, you bastard!" Nick yells stomping in Eirik's direction but his approach was halted when Eirik lifted the windslicer, "Now, now. You must wait for me to respond before trying to attack me." The black haired man teases as a weak smile covers his face. "Sonja wasn't a bad person nor was Monat but what they both had in common was sleeping with my husband. Sonja was always head over heels for him, the week they stopped seeing each other was the week they were trying to cover their tracks but I already knew." Eirik starts as anger starts to show, "I also found out during that week that my husband as been sleeping with Monat! My husband fell pregnant and it wasn't MINE!" his voice grew in rage as he moves the gun towards Sven. "I thought it was Monat's but I remembered that Monat couldn't give his wife a baby, you were the one that slept with him. Just like Monat's wife and Brittania, you were infamous for sleeping around Sven." Eirik snares as everyone felt fear sink into them.

"Penny said she wanted a baby and you both agreed for me to help her!" Sven yells as he holds his hands out in front of him in pure fear, "IT'S NIKON, HE! RESPECT THE DEAD!" Eirik screams as his finger moves to the trigger. "Sorry! Sorry!" Sven replies as he falls to his knees, he didn't want to die. "Hey! Hey!" Enyo calls out catching Eirik's attention, "Did Sonja kill Monat or not?" Enyo asks as she listens to Ace carefully crawl around her home. "No. Sonja proposed to Monat the week before the expedition, reasoning why they didn't see each other because Sonja wanted to give Monat time to think about it without her making Monat feel pressured. That happiness clouded her judgement that day." Eirik's anger softens as his eyes drift off to the side, "I hated it, they destroyed my life and they were off to be happy." Eirik's anger returns as his eyes locked onto Enyo, "You watched me leave the settlement the day Monat died and didn't question it so thank you." This made Enyo's stomach drop, her body lends against the door frame as she thinks back to that day when he left with the windslicer.

"Why are you doing this? Why did you sabotage the vault?" Nick asks as he takes a step back, "I am getting rid of people that ruined my life. Sonja, Monat, and Sven stole my husband from me. Made me lose my cool, I didn't mean to kill him. I swear, I was just angry." He whispers as he lowers his gun a bit. "The gas wasn't suppose to kill, the gas in low amounts is harmless. It was why people never seemed to age or were still strong despite their age. I just wanted my wife back and I got it but you made us leave!" Eirik's voice raises as he points the gun at Enyo, "The dead should stay dead, Eirik!" Nick yells as he covers Enyo with his body. A wicked smile covers Eirik's face, "Is that right?" The black haired man asks as he points his gun at Sven. "Yes..." Sven answers unsurely as he looks straight into Eirik's eyes seeing nothing but evil, he never thought Eirik would do something so cruel.

Two shots rung out and two bodies hit the ground, Enyo's screams filled the air as she ran over to Sven's body. Nick looks pass Eirik's to see Uxue silently standing there with Ace to her side, Uxue quietly hands the gun to Ace before walking away. "I'm sorry." Ace states as he watches Enyo cradle Sven's body, "I wish I was faster." he states before following after Uxue. Nick slowly moves over to Enyo, he rubs her back as he tries to process everything. It all happened so fast, he felt lost as his head pounded against his skull.

Basil was definitely confused as he opens the gates to Rosabell since the settlement was never this quiet, Madog side steps in with his weapon drawn as he looks around for any noticeable monsters about. "Ace!" Basil calls out when he noticed the wolf coming out of the medical bay, "Where is everyone?" the bear asks as he got closer to the leader. "Graveyard." Ace replies weakly as he sits down on the fountain. "Why? What happened?" Madog asks as he runs over after closing the gates, "Eirik confesses to sabotaging the vault and killing Monat." Ace states as he lays his head in his hands. "He also killed Sven before he died." he continued before a sob ripped from him, "I wasn't fast enough and Zhi won't open his door, I am scared. I am so fucking scared for these people." He yells as Madog pulls him into a hug. "I'll get my spare key and check on him." Basil states as he walks off to his home, he knew Zhi had fell into depression but he didn't know how bad it was until today.

"Zhi?" Basil's voice filled the small house as well as his footsteps as he walks further in, "Zhi, are you here?" The bear asks as he rounds the wall before stopping in his tracks. "Oh, hun, you couldn't answer even if you wanted to, huh?" Basil's voice softens as he kneels in front of the dissociating man that was laying on the rug in front of his bed, "Come on, darling, Mad and I will take care of you until you come back." He whispers as he cradles the thin man in his arms before walking out of the small home. The bear was quick to get to his home, not wanting to add anymore worry or grieve to the others. He carefully lays the man in the middle of his bed before leaving his home to retrieve the fox, "Madog, follow." Basil orders once he noticed Ace heading away from his husband. The fox tilts his head in confusion by the urgent tone as he followed the big man from the fountain, "What is wrong?" Madog asks as they entered their home.

Basil pulls back the curtain to their dimly lit room, "I need you to watch Zhi as I go make him something easy to eat and as well get a bath ready so we can clean him?" Basil asks causing the fox to snap his head to the bed then back at the bear. "Clean him, what?" He whisper yells as he looks back at Zhi but the man didn't respond in the slightest, "He is stuck in his mind, Mad. His body isn't fighting to live anymore, he needs help and we made a promise to him if he EVER needed us to care for him that we would." Basil explains as he finally pulls his eyes away from the bed to Madog, "Was that a lie?" this made the fox take a step back in shock before looking down at the ground. "No, I adore Zhi but I never thought it would get this bad." He whispers causing the bear to pull him into a hug, "I didn't either but regardless we must help now," Basil said as he pulls back a bit to see Madog. The fox gives a nod as he pulls away completely, "I'll do the bath if you do the food?" Madog asks as a gentle smile appears on Basil's lips as he nods.

The fox quietly walks over to Zhi, "I don't know if you can hear me but don't worry, Basil and I will be here until you get back. We'll care for your body until you are ready to take that reasonability again." Madog whispers as he carefully pulls the thin male into his arms and heads to their bathroom, he knows this was going to be a long journey. He remembers the day Basil fell into a similar headspace but the bear was more conscious compared to Zhi, Basil needed help back then too. Reminder to shower, to eat, to drink, and to breathe. Madog remembers feeding Basil when the bear's arms just felt too heavy to do so, remembers helping him shower when he was too overwhelmed to even try, remembers holding him at night in fear Basil's mind wound consume him in the way Zhi's did him. Madog also vaguely remembers when he also fell victim to his mind when he thought Bonny was gone, vaguely remembers Basil caring for him and Ace but those memories were to far and before Rosabell to get a firm grasp on anymore.

"Were there any movements?" Basil's words broke Madog's thinking, the fox looks up from Zhi as he steps out of the bathroom. "Huh? Ah! No, he didn't say or move at all." The fox replies after a few seconds of processing Basil's question, the bear's shoulder sink a bit as he nods. "Hey, he'll be okay Basil. We aren't going anywhere, he isn't going anywhere." Madog gently reminds with a soft smile, "Our love is strong, we can take it." Basil cracks a smile as he gently kisses Madog's forehead before placing lending his head against Zhi's for a second or two and pulling away. "I'll do laundry after I bring you two food." He states as he walks back over to the stove, "Okay, thank you." Madog replies as he walks back to their room. The fox carefully moves Zhi into the middle before the knock on the door gets his attention, "I got it!" The fox calls out as he walks pass the curtains and opens the door. "Bonny! How are you?" Madog asks with a smile as he looks down at Casper and coos at him, "Is Basil home? I need him to check Casper and make sure he is okay." Bonny asks quickly as she rocks Casper. "Yeah, he is in the kitchen. Come on in." Madog replies as he steps aside and closes the door behind her before pulling back the curtain that covered the doorway into the rest of the house.

The bear looks over his shoulder when he heard his name being called, "Bonny!" He states happily as he puts down the wooden spoon and turn down the heat before moving towards her. "Can you see if Casper is okay? He been real pink and it is just not going away." Bonny quickly asks as Basil carefully takes Casper from her. He moves pass her to his small medical area, he carefully lays the few week old baby on the table before doing some tests he was able to do. A soft smile rests on his lips as he picks up Casper and hands him back to Bonny, "Skin pigment, possibly a genetic he got from someone further up in either side of the family." Basil calmly states as Bonny furrow her eyebrows. "How did you get that?" She asks as she looks down at the babbling baby, "Because he is pink everywhere and there is no signs screaming he is ill. He doesn't he act ill, Bonny. He is a healthy baby boy." The bear explains with a loving smile as he leads her back to the front door. "Thank you, Basil that means a lot to me." Bonny states as she gives him a side hug before leaving. A soft laugh leaves Madog as he lends against the archway, "You know, our love for our friends is unmatched." The fox jokes making the bear laugh in response as he pulls the fox into his arms.

-End of Chapter 8: Love-

[earwig5]

it’s kind of crazy that both fallout new Vegas and fallout 4 have the same driving force for the first half of the narrative (find the guy who wronged you and make him pay) but Benny is so much more memorable and narratively interesting than Kellogg.

It’s a matter of a strong character foil versus a weak one, in my opinion.

Benny and the courier are very much alike. They are both ambitious people who are willing to do anything possible to stack the odds in their favour. Honestly, Benny and the courier are the same card, reversed.

The Sole Survivor and Kellogg are also intended to be character foils. The game tries to convince us of this with the scenes in Kellogg’s mind, where we see that he ‘isn’t so different’ from our protagonist after all. But we don’t know anything about Kellogg other than his backstory. How can he parallel the protagonist if we don’t know which traits he has? Which traits the two of them share?

(As a side note, I wish Fallout 4 had touched way more on the ‘Man/Woman Out of Time’ thing. The protagonist being frozen in the past + Kellogg being functionally immortal would’ve been really cool to explore! Especially in the context of grief!)

In the end, I think the reason Benny is a more powerful character foil is that he doesn’t disappear from the world when you kill him. The chairmen can mourn him, House will comment on it, and even NPCs across the Mojave will talk about Benny’s death!

In Kellogg’s case, the protagonist is basically the only person who knows he even existed! Once he’s dead HE’s DEAD! He disappears completely from the narrative! As soon as you leave fort Hagen, the game doesn’t bother looking back.

that’s why Benny is a more haunting force for new Vegas; particularly an independent courier. You are Benny’s legacy because you are what he leaves behind whether he likes it or not. People remember him as the couriers victim. Meanwhile, nobody remembers Kellogg at all. The memory of who Kellogg was dies with you, and you can choose to forget him.

[fumifooms]

Rin, smiling, and nagging

Rinsha Fana’s character is summarized in a couple facts thrown here and there. Because she worries for him, she follows Kabru to help his cause and protect him, and to nag him. She’s a grumpy angry tsundere, but it seems not only rooted in her attitude but on a deep rooted physical level, to the point where any intense emotion she feels will make her frown and scowl even if it’s genuine joy. Her childhood was half spent ostracized in the tallman community her family lived in and half with the elves, where she’s said to have been treated like an animal.

We don’t know how she was raised exactly or who it even was, but knowing she was "treated like an animal" by the elves taking care of her…

Elves are shown to have a highly hierarchical society, not only with their concern with status such as nobility and the purity of bloodlines but also reflected by its social culture imo. They have high society and etiquette, upmost devotion to the queen, very role-oriented, like cogs in a machine, and as such, it’s a bit skewed since most of what we see of the elves is in a military context with military people but they seem to value having emotions under lock and key to be efficient and not bring dishonor, Flamela is an interesting character on this. Don’t be a bother and do your job until you’re called on, fulfill your role, everything else is extra at best inconvenient at worst.

Personally I do think the canaries kept Rin, it’d make sense that whichever canaries got stuck with the job at the headquarters would be barebones with her and treat her like an ‘impounded article’, they couldn’t find another place for her and this way they can get her report on the events whenever she can speak again in however many years, and this way it makes sense that she could keep in touch with Kabru too. They’re used to prisoners, not kids. Being raised in a military context rather than at some orphanage would shape her further.

All of this to say…

She’d already seen the world’s harshness to those who don’t conform in her hometown, but with the elves? Her disdain for those who had formal education at a magic school?

Wouldn’t she become very concerned with proving she is not an animal, proving that she’s smart and skilled in her own right on her own merit, even without schooling. And to do this she nitpicks and nitpicks, because even being pristine isn’t enough to be respected, but at least it’s not giving others reasons to disrespect and dehumanize her. Learning to school her emotions, to scowl as a defense mechanism because anything else makes her vulnerable, because they don’t care about her as a person with feelings, because showing other expressions was dangerous or punished in some way: because it was fit in or don’t fit in and that’s the difference between having your house burnt down and being tolerated, between getting her food or having her questions answered and being yelled at to shut up… Because all her life she’s been surviving in hostile social environments and at the mercy of others, but unlike Kabru she doesn’t become a people pleaser but becomes very self-reliant and wary of socializing.

So she nitpicks and nitpicks and nags, because she’s worried. Because flaws are dangerous. So she has a hard time smiling and laughing, because it’s dangerous to allow yourself to feel safe in being authentic.

It would be nice…

Is my red, red enough? I'm waiting for your teeth at my throat. It’s only good manners. -Stephanie Valente 

[capcollector]

tit for tat