hellokitska

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling someone I wasn't their bully 100% of the time

Hey so I was a shitty kid and i willbe TA for most of the story. However the ambiguous non-ending spins around my head nonstop

! In high-school I met a friend, Lacy (mtf) who had recently come out. We bonded over mutual Fandoms and shared classes and ended up pooling friends. I was already tight friends with one other girl we can call Sam. Sam went to another school but me and her had been best friends for many years and talked constantly online. After spending a lot of time with Lacy, and with L and S in a group, I started to get a little crush. Me and Lacy had this habit of passing comic notes to eachother between classes and they were just so fun. Anyways I ended up passing them one asking them out and she agreed. We talked about it casually after and I kept the note. In the background, me and Sam talk constantly about Lacy. Outside of school, online, Lacy often goes on long rants and tangents and caps it off being painfully self depreciating and insinuating self harm. I honestly don't hold that against her too much, given how young we were and how much stuff was going on. Very quickly I realize this tiny crush evaporates in the heat of her stomping rants. My gut sinks when Lacy mentions we are dating. It's been less than a day. Sam messages me immediately and I make the terrible snap decision to lie. I lie about it and I have the evidence so my version becomes correct. I tell Sam I didn't *really* ask Lacy out, blah blah. The lie doesn't end. Lacy has an explosive breakdown about it, well warranted, and I lie to adults and school administrators as well. We were friends, I guess she got too attached, we talk all the time but no. I never asked her to date. Papers signed, case closed. Lacy blocks me everywhere. The year ends. I resign to never speaking to her, as the unquestioned bully in this situation I wouldn't have the right to approach her about it. I think I send one anon ask completely unrelated to her or our lives, then block her back as is only fair.

Short hop forwards a month or two. Sam sends me a message about an update to Lacys blog. Lacy is otherkin and Sam is laughing at the kin list, sending anon messages mocking Lacy about the choices and identity. Very unfamiliar with otherkin but struggling with gender thoughts myself I don't respond much.

Fast forward a few years. Me and Sam don't talk much now. I got a boyfriend and couldn't help love how much he ignored me. Everything else fell through cracks. Working at my restaurant job one day, who else comes in but Lacy. We are very busy, I try to be quick, don't make eye contact. "Party of....for Lacy?" She nods. The lobby is full so they walk out the door and never come back. Later when my shift is over I unblock and check her blog. She's made a post saying I was her abuser and had sent her constant anon hate since bullying her in hs. Checking her ask tag I see Sam on anon sends 3-6 hate messages a year. I do nothing and leave everyone be and move on.

Another 3 years goes by. Sam reaches out. She's terminally ill, and we speak stiffly for a few IMs. I don't forgive myself for leaving her and decide it's best we don't keep talking. Another few years and Sam passes. Our old friends go through Sam's papers and pc files reminiscing and find pages and pages of shared chat logs between me L and S. It really was a harsh reminder of how cruel I had been, speaking behind Lacys back and lying. I don't doubt I caused her lasting trauma with my actions.

Part of me wanted to reach out to Lacy and apologize, explaining myself and the misunderstanding and clearing the lie not because I wanted to feel absolved I just that it's finally done now. But it feels so cruel to do it when 1. As the original bully it's still not my place to seek closure 2. I can't just toss my friends corpse under this bus for no reason.

It's soon a decade since we all left school so the time seems well past. I just can't stop thinking about all the mistakes. And there seems no reason to bring it all up after all Sam can't say anything about it anymore and nobody is hurt believing i said these things. So, AITA for not telling Lacy it wasn't me bullying her most of the time?

What are these acronyms?

[give-grian-rights]

HERMITCRAFT 8 LIVEBLOGGING

fifteen hermits worth of liveblogging. i am losing my mind. LONG POST AHEAD.

JOE HILLS (First HC8 Video)

Mumbo did the speech. he forgot everything he was supposed to say <3

Pearl and Gemini were just .in a pit . having stuff thrown onto them

Every Hermit is staying on the same continent !!

FIRST DEATHS VERY QUICKLY, Iron Golems took out Tango and Etho (maybe more?)

Joe seems to be the only one looting the chests

Evil Jevin !!

Evil Xisuma appearance on Jevin’s 60 second video!

Pearl has something planned for an “archeticual wonder” for a resupply area upon death?

Stress, Xisuma and Joe are capturing villagers and starting up a resupply debut.

Bdubs is killed by Cleo and is now OUT FOR BLOOD

First death counts- Etho, Tango, Bdubs, Cleo?

Cleo was killed by Keralis

Joe has now supplied Cleo with weapons and food . She left but not before saying “Time to kill BDubs again!”

Gemini was killed by Bdubs! They both died and are now at spawn.

Pearl was killed by Cleo

Pearl is planning a respawn inn !!

Cleo was killed by Iskall

Cleo was killed by Pearl

False, Stress, and Gemini team up??? AA!!! they brought a delivery of supplies to Joe <3

i wish i knew what was happening on that end .

APPARENTLY XISUMA IS ONTO MAKING THE SECOND VILLAGER BREEDER ALREADY ??

Iskall is the first with Diamonds??

Breathe in that ash !

WAIT IS TANGOS EYES LIKE THAT RN BECAUSE HES TEAMED WITH KERALIS AND BDUBS ???

KERALIS, BDUBS, AND TANGO TRIED TO DO A SHAKEDOWN ON JOE. HE TRIED TO DROP LAVA, GOT HIMSELF ONTO TWO HEARTS BECAUSE HE PLACED IT ON HIMSELF, AND IS NOW SWIMMING OUT INTO THE SWAMP

the big eyed trio are now off to shake down Gemini

Joe fell in Lava in the Nether

Joe Death To Lava Two: Electric Boogaloo

Joe drowned trying to kill a glowsquid

WATCH JOE’S VIDEO OH MY GOD SEAN HILLS RECAP RAP??? MY BELOVED????? i am gonna be streaming this unironically later LIKE OH MY GOD THIS SLAPS. ALSO THE CREDITS AT TEH END IS HILARIOUS

Zedaph Episode Recap

Zed gave us a recap of the continent every Hermit will be living on !!

Wouldn’t recommend Zedaph as the first video for the season, he skips the intro/speech but it’s Zedaph and hes making it fun!! Lots of nice editing :)

~SCIENCE TIME !~

Zedaph.. why is your starter base made out of concrete ?

There are no sheeps whatsoever on his mountain

Hes calling his lab an icecream sandwich..yeah i see it

Zed tried to make a portal underater...f

Scar died to a creeper </3

Zedaphs base is gonna be tracking how long hes there/someones loading the chunk!

XISUMA LIVE BLOGGING

A cool cinema scene of him becoming an axolotl!! <3

NOW I CAN SEE IT, GRIAN WAS THE FIRST DEATH!! Death by Iron Golem!!

XIsuma’s baseplans need over 45 THOUSAND BLOCKS TO BE PLACED

He’s also planning on making a shulkershell farm!!

i’m not gonna lie ! talking axolotl X is horrifying ! thanks !

Day one Villager Breeder... chaos.

Xisuma Derp! looked straight at a buncha wool and said how badly he needed beds and then walked away

THE GIRLS CAME OVER AND CONVINCED HIM HE NEEDS TO MOVE THE DESIGN OVER MY FIVE BLOCKS FOR SWAMP VILLAGERS..

THE GIRLS ARE JUST LAUGHING AT HIM AND HIS VILLAGER TROUBLES

day one and Xisuma has got his axolotl!!

Very pretty starterbase!!

XB’s

..I’m not gonna lie theres not much to say!! He’s very calm :) he says hes going into it without a plan, and htat last season was the only time he had any thought of what he was gonna do.

He made a real nice starter house and thats about it!

Cleo’s

Bdubs: “She ain’t gonna hurt me!! i’m invincible, babey!”

Cleo learnt that BDubs will never hurt her even if she deserves it . I am starting to realize why she kills him

SHE DECIDED SHES GONNA BE A PROPER CHAOS GREMLIN THIS SEASON...

AISDJASID CLEO GOT PAID TO KILL BDUBS?? HDUIAIHSI SCAR WHY

“Alright I found my mission for the season! Murder.”

Cleo, Mumbo, Grian, and Scar are all holed up in a cave together!

..Scar died from a skeleton !

Cleo has now split from Grian and Mumbo! Scar is missing in action

CLEO FOUND A GOAT

SHES KILLING THE GOAT???

she got a HORSE <3 and Joe gave her a saddle! I think her name is..Widget?

She LOVES the candles for shamboo n waterbottles and bits n bobs for her armorstands!!

Got her Armorstand stickgod book <3

Geminitay POV

NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT!!

She has a LOVELY voice!!

The pov of her in a hole . being surrrounded . is kinda hilarious

It might’ve been Etho who was first death?? I GENUIENLY CANNOT TELL BECAUSE OF EDITING

All the murder was just for heads!

Seriously her voice is. wow

WE LOVE A QUEEN WHO KNOWS HOW TO CRAFT A SHIELD WITHOUT USING THE GUIDE <3

False, Gemini, and Stress are on the great journey for MOSS !

Gem just blew their minds with the moss.

TANGO KERALIS AND BDUBS ARE BACK Keralis: “Show the diamonds show the diamonds show the diamonds!” Gem: “Keralis. This is not how you make friends.”

The boys suecessfully recieved a diamond each

Etho n Iskall are travelling together!! You dont see those two together often

Etho got a glowsquid head!!

Gem: “Etho doesn���t share, is what i’m learning..?”

Etho hooked her with a fishing rod and said she has to do what he said .

In order to get the diamonds, Tango, Keralis, and BDubs placed down a sign saying “Gem is Great!” and Gem used a glow inksack on it.

Etho: “So..What is this? Do you have an ego, or this a motivational thing, or..?” He said, while laughing

Iskall: “I think its really funny that you have set your base up in the middle of a birch forest.” Gem: “I love birch forests! Do you not like my birch forest? Iskall: “I love it, yeah.” Gem: “This is the best biome in the game, Iskall.” Iskall: “Mmmm..” Etho: “I’m pretty sure I heard Iskall talking earlier that like, of all the biomes in the game, there was one he hated more than anything. Gem: “Oh really? And what was that one?” Iskall: “..Taiga.” Gem: “Taiga.. That’s true, thats a good one, thats a good one.” Iskall: “Don’t like Taiga.” Gem: “Mhm.” Etho: “Which one do you hate more than anyone?” Iskall: “..Diorite fields. Thats a bad one.” Etho: “Yeah thats a bad one.” Gem: “Didn’t know about that one. Well make sure to avoid’em. Birch forests are really good.” Iskall: “I’m a big fan of birch forests.” Gem: “Yeah, me too, me too. I’m glad we’re on the same page :) This is so beautiful! All the white and- and the like zebra stripes! is fantastic.” Iskall: “I..Um.. Yes.”

OH SHE’S CANADIAN,, ETHO HAS A FRIEND /j

She’s still in college :O SHE’S A SCIENTIST?? SHES WORKING AT A HOSPITAL?? POG!!

She accidentally found an enchanted golden apple in a mineshaft!! she thinks its the first she ever found in survival!!

She has a cow, sheep, and a few crop farms set up!! Her starter house has INTERRIOR!

SHE CHANGED HER SKIN AND ITS SO PRETTY AND HAS OVERALL AND I LOVE IT!!

shes doing a cottage core inspired base!

WOAHH!!! SHE MADE HTE MOST GOREGOUS CUSTOM TREE I’VE EVER SEEN ??

BDUBS IS HERE and he is so so so impressed by the tree ?!

also hes carrying a clock.. :(

He’s here with a present!

HE BROUGHT BAMBOO!

she thinks its so funny that he stops conversations to sleep AOIDHFEAUI\

SCARS

WE GOT A TRANSITION SCENE!! the canonical reason for the bed in his old village always being occupied is because underneath it, was his wizard portal!

Bdubs: “It’s a new season! You’re the little guy now!”

They are all very amused by that ^

they’re rubbing the fleece of bdubs jacket .

Bdubs: “Have a nice rub :)” PLEASEAHSIOJDIUASLDHIASDA

His starter base is gonna be a wagon and he wants the end game to be a bioshock esque skyscraper!

he confused a horse for a player . flashback to iskall thinking mumbo was a mob

PEOPLE THINK MUMBO DOESNT HAVE PANTS ON.... </3

Scar, Mumbo, and Grian.. have NO braincells. at all. THey just placed a crafting table with a boat on top with a bed on top with a boat on top .

this is what BROS FOR LIFE looks like.

BOATEM POLE !

SCAR IS STUCK UNDERGROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IRL AND HAS NO PICKAXE..

AND HE DIED TO A CREEPER .

it seems like Grian, Mumbo, and Scar are working together !!!! HOLY SHIT !!

THERES SO SO SO MANY FARMS???????

he died several times trying to catch a skeleton with a sword

FIRST CHEST MONSTER OF THE SEASON <3

SCAR JSUT TOLD BDUBS HE LOOKS LIKE OSCAR THE CROUCH... BDUBS CANNOT EVEN ARGUE

OH NO.... GRIAN WENT AFK IN A HOLE . WITHOUT A HELMET .

THEY PUT A  GLOWSQUID HEAD ON HIM

OH MY GOD MUMBO MADE A NOTEBLOCK SONG?? AJUDA

SCARS BUILTING IS SO SO SOOS GOREGOUS SERIOUSLY GO WATCH THE VIDEO OH MY GOD ITS HUGE

its a giant ass house boat wagon . its pulled by a llama . that killed him . so now its trapped, pulling hte agon, forever

Grian: “..Thats a very big house, for a very little hat.”

GRIANS SUPER SPECIAL EGG??

SCAR PUNCHED IT..

they really came out here . and killed the egg already.

Scar: “..I touched the thing”

TANGO POV

We see the three big eyed boys forming <3 they interrupted Tangos intro

THEY’RE BULLYING HIM ABOUT HAVING SMALL EYES AHIDUIASUHDWIS

HE TRIED TO CALL THE TRIO TEAM BUG EYE... THE OTHERS ARE VERY OFFENDED

they found an axolotl and Bdubs was TERRIFIED just screaming “WHAT IS THAT YELLOW THING?!”

BDUBS IS ATTACKING IT ???

okay nope Bdubs caught one and Tango lost it

Bdubs is naming his axolotl Idiot

AMAZING HOUSE. WHY IS TANGO SO GOOD AT BUILDING AND REDSTONE??

Impulse POV

MUMBO TRIED TO PLACE DOWN A BERRY BUSH TO HURT IMPULSE . HE FORGOT HOW BUSHES WORK..

I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THAT IMPULSE WAS IN THE BOATEM POLE

so it looks like those four are hteo nes who grouped up together

PEARL BROKE THE CONSTITUION SHE GOT IN THE WRONG BOAT SMH

THIS IS SEASON EIGHT! FIVE BROS !

So its gonna be about five people in the same area!!

YOO!! Fantasy build for Impulse!!

G gave Impulse a spyglass, they had a fun moment of zooming in on eachothers face and complimenting eachother IHAUDIHAW

Grian and Impulse worked on an xp farm!

ASHDUIWAHISD GRIAN JUST LOGGED ON INFRONT OF HIM

a pillager stole his boat . not just any pillager . the one with a banner. </3

he has to live with Mumbo tuning a song .. </3 haha

Mumbo POV

it took fifteen seconds until Grian ran in during Mumbos intro

CONFIRMED? GRIAN WAS FIRST DEATH?

SECOND PERSON TO THINK MUMBOS PANTS ARE SKIN COLOR. GRIAN..

Grian: “Can you..Briefly explain why you’re just wearing a hawaiian shirt?” Mumbo: “Uh- what do you mean ‘just wearing a hawaiin shirt? I have shorts on as-well, dude”

FOLLOWED BY

Mumbo: “Can you explain why you’re wearing a red jumper?” Grian: “You know- you know i was born with this!”

MUMBO AND GRIAN STOLE THE BOAT LOOT FROM RENDOC

I THINK RENDOC JUST STOLE THE DIAMOND MUMBO THREW??

Grian: “Is that Scar?” Mumbo: “I can’t see past your giant waffle!”

DSFSDFJIOA they did an edit where they placed down a boat, both Mumbo and Grian got in, they made noises and then bopped up on top of the ravine they were in <3

THEY HAVE NO BRAINCELL THEY JUST PLACED DOWN A BENCH AND SAID “THIS IS THE MARK OF OUR VILLAGE!” and then placed a torch and a boat and a bed and aANOTHER BED..

..Mumbo is trying to be a pacifist this season!

Grian’s taunting him with beheaded things

And obviously part of being pacifist means he’s gonna be vegetarian in minecraft!

..he cannot use monster farms because pacifisim..

Mumbo was in the middle of reading the magical Timmy shack that Tango made (did i remember to mention that? who knows) and IN THE MIDDLE OF GETTING TO THE PART ABOUT IF YOU REMOVE STUFF FROM THE CHEST, NOTHING WILL BE ADDED IN IT AGAIN. Grian opened the chest . Mumbo SHOUTED HIAUDHUW Grian jumped man

They renamed it “Cave of Do Not Enter” HIAUEDUH

Mumbo and Scar BOTH did not know- at least Mumbo didn’t, Scar forgot,  that podzol spawns from two-by-two spruce..

him and his guitar song to be played underneath his house.. it goes with the aesthetic i suppose

MAN HE NEEDS SO MUCH HAYBALES I FORGOT THATS NEEDED FOR THE TUNE HE WANTS

Mumbo: “What.. On Earth.. Scar, it’s meant to be a starterbase, buddy! What is this? This is many things, many many things, a starterbase is NOT one of them!”

HE LITERALLY DIDNT KNOW THAT THE DRAGON EGG TELEPORTS... WHEN YOU TOUCH IT...

BDUBS

nothing special we havent seen yet!! just him screaming about axolotls.

He was working in the Mesa in his intro, skipping the “speech” from Mumbo

He released Idiot the Axolotl and lost it .

Him SCREAMING “Gemini” is HILARIOUS

While Gemini gave away those three diamonds, Keralis got so excited he won a bet with Tango and Bdubs, that he gave back . two of the diamonds . and none of htem released until well after they left

Bdubs: “That’s why i have my mwoss skin!” PLEASE I LOVE THE WAY HE SAYS IT.. make the moss hood.. REAL..

it took me a while to figure out what his base is but i LOVE IT so so much!!!

Nothing much new to add !!

Stress pov

please i love her . very good !! False seems to have joined her sheerly because Stress sounded like she knew what she was doing. she does not.

False felt peerpressured and asked Stress for permission to fight her because everyone was killing eachother .

It ended up with Stress following False. they found a village!

ISKALL only saw him one other time today!!

JEVIN APPEARS AGAIN !

XISUMA FELL INTO HTE BREEDER AND IT WAS SO FUNN IUAHHYIAUSD

Ren: “Ya look goregous, Stress!” Stress: “Thanks! Don’t murder my dog!”

She’s so proud of herself for caving!! (with False n Gem

Iskall blew up!

..Iskall fell from a high place

Stress has a LOVELY ravine base!!

False

False wants to become pirates with Stress <3

gatekeep gaslight girlboss

BIG OL MUSHROOM HOUSE !!

it looks like a mushroom church and i LOVE IT.

Nothing new we didn’t see from Gem. She does want to come up with a banner design for her base, though!

Grian

..Mumbo just thought Grian had a purpose so decided to follow him <3

ALSO HIS INTRO, AS HE JOKED ABOUT IN THE OTHERS VIDEO, WAS, IN FACT, THE BOATEM POLE

Grian is SO PROUD of the fact taht they got good loot from a treasure map. Ren and Doc are NOT IMPRESSED

Grian: “Lets go, potato boy!”

Mumbo: “I don’t have to replace everything I break! Peace Love and Plants- are these plants..?” He says, mining amethyst

pants

he who controls the egg, controls the server... Grian.. you’re doing great sir

...He decided.. his goal.. is to make his OWN..caves and cliffs update... HELLO..?

Grian was the first one to kill the enderdragon, MAN. Speedrunning career WHEN? /j

Grian: “And now [Mumbo] is flexing on my bed!”

he might not have a base. but he has an egg.

It is now 2am. i cannot do this anymore. This will be continued.. tomorrow!

[kaypeace21]

can you maybe stop telling people what they ship and what they don’t ship.. i swear you’re so fucking stubborn. and if you wanna defend mike so damn much then do it cause i bet more then half your followers hate him. it’s the way you clearly don’t see how many bylers hate mike and love will do you SEE the problem here??

This is the 5th anon message (in 1 day) you sent me.and you’re not stubborn? I’m not the one who has sent 5 anon messages in a row? Why don’t you just chill out and ignore me. You’re this pissed cause I said your hate to Max was unjustified. I kindly pointed out max didn’t make El spy on Mike - like you claimed . El spied on mike in s2 - before she even met Max. Then you got infuriated that I pointed out that all the flaws you claimed were about the elmax friendship were actually just flaws with mileven. Some of you hate on Max just cause you saw her as a hindrance to Mileven. Then in the second message you got pissed and brought up byler (which I didn’t even bring up in the first post!) Cause you just ... wanted to fight about byler despite totally being a byler shipper? Specifically said if mike was actually gay and dated el before he realized he’d be “an ass”. And if el and mike were confused about thinking they loved eachother when they didn’t “they’d be the worst characters ever.” Then brought up Will being bad cause he called El stupid (which was projection cause right after that he called himself stupid 4x). 3rd message went on a tangent about how much better and nicer mileven shippers are and that you ship both byler and mileven. And 4th message just go on about how Will was horrible to El, and max did horrible things in s3 , and that bylers hate on mike all the time , and elmax sucks. And now this. Yes you totally ship byler and aren’t just a mileven who got pissed that my 1st comment criticized your ship . So then in the second message brought up byler randomly to try and critique it. And just got pissy when called out as pretending to be a byler shipper and not getting the answers you wanted 😂 you can ship mileven. I’m not stopping you .

Also , I’ve constantly defended mike. And called out bylers for the hating him in the past. I literally defended mike when you claimed him being gay and dating el before hand would make him “awful”. You clearly don’t follow me and probably just believe all the lies mileven shippers say about me on twitter 🙄 . I’ve even told other bylers that the way Mike treated El was worse than Will. At least mike apologized to Will. Mike never apologized for lying- to El. And I still said that mike hate is unjustified countless times (cause he’s a kid)! Kids make mistakes! And especially cause I explained Mike saying (In the garage) “ it’s not my fault you don’t like girls “ was projecting his own gay feelings on to Will. Similar to how Will (in the garage) saying El was “stupid” was projecting his own feelings - why Will called himself “stupid” (4x at castle byers) after their fight in the garage and this comment about El. But you get angry at the concept of byler / projection so... that won’t help.

Past comments:

Part 1 (their first Max message/my response ) part 2 (second message/ my response ) part 3 (comments 3-4) . In this annoying ass saga 😂

Now please - move on . I only didn’t block you to prove how unhinged milevens get when you don’t block them . Look how angry you’ve gotten . This bylers is why you have block milevens -they just don’t give up and get angrier and angrier 😅

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Update: 6th message

I said for you to leave me alone. Not mike. How was that not clear? Also he’s a fictional character- what are you talking about?Oh my god .😅 You can do whatever you want on your own blog-just stop spamming me.

Mileven fan base (who are predominantly straight) use homophobic talking points and slurs to discredit byler / queer st fans . Many of us have gotten messages calling us the f and d word. Then milevens constantly private message bylers ,minding their own business, and call bylers “stupid” or “delusional “ ( or straight up sending de*th t#reats) . ( When these bylers are in their own tags -minding their own business- and don’t cross tag mileven at all ) . Bylers rarely go on to mileven posts that gush about mileven and then make jokes about how horrible the ship is and how delusional it’s shippers are (in said mileven post). Milevens do that all the time - they’ll go to a random byler post , only tagged byler , and make such comments about the byler ship/shippers . They also personally insult people for shipping byler and not mileven. Like me. Many mileven anons sent me messages making fun of my autism cause I shipped byler and said I’m not allowed to talk about byler /analyze the show cause I’m autistic and incapable of providing anything meaningful to the fandom because of my autism(all while hypocrically saying it’s ableist for anyone to think El isn’t ready to date yet). And bylers have the audacity... to in turn!!! Not like your ship and critique the issues with the (fictional) pairing using canon evidence in the show . And rarely send any direct messages/personal attacks to people who ship mileven . We criticize a ship - milevens directly message and attack the opposing shippers . There’s a difference between saying In the byler tag “mileven (the ship) is bad” or even an offensive blanket statement like “mileven shippers are blank” vs a person directly messaging a random individual who ships mileven and saying “you’re stupid for shipping mileven.bla bla.” A lot of the mileven fandom doesn’t seem to know the obvious difference when playing the victim. 🙄

And now you say byler is shipped just cause it’s “2 hot boys.” Which is yet another anti byler/pro mileven talking point.  You don’t ship byler (you’re just a mileven troll -move on) . Also-Ew - they’re kids. I’m an adult lesbian who actually likes well developed relationships - especially if lgbt. That’s all. And I’ve already criticized other bylers for some of their questionable heteronormative behavior and creepy fetishistic behavior of the characters/actors.  Also Bylers usually like El -more than milevens like Will. We don’t like mileven cause we see it’s bad for El’s character development and mental health. We care about El and think getting to know the real world and herself is better than rushing into a relationship (before she’s actually ready). But, y’all hate Will over a few comments he’s made. And I’ve seen milevens say they want Will d*ad or even say they wish he never came back from the upsidedown. And that’s just cause you’re threatened he’ll ruin mileven. Ya’ll are projecting . YOU EVEN SAID bylers make you not like Will as much- in a diff message. But go off.   (And leaaaave me alone ). Blocked you cause you have no self control to do it yourself .😂

[nightswithkookmin]

Does Run ep 119 fall into the period of Jikook's romantic separation/distancing you talked about? By hairstyles I think this is the time you marked as being 'not a couple'? Did I get the timelines right? Please dont get mad, but they seemed especially cozy+close this ep, and not just skinship (I know this is a subjective judgement and dif points of view are allowed). Just curious if you still hold to your theory? We see only tiny snapshots of time. Do you ever retrospectively change your mind?

Me right now. lol

Running away before I give in to the temptation to rumble on for pages. Lol.

Ahhh shit! Too late. lol.

First of all, it's not so much that questions like these irk me...

It's just I've never had to worry about being 'right' or 'wrong' in forming an opinion about anything or on any topic in my life.

I think the night is more beautiful than the day. I think both Trump and Biden are trash- but better Biden than Trump. I think formal education is a damn waste of time and money. I think a lot of things. But I've never had to worry about that I could be right or wrong about them.

I never assume, when I read people's opinions too, that they are right or wrong. I either tend to agree with it or disagree with it or get informed by it if I had zero opinion prior. I find it bizarre when people want to be right and stuff- especially in a community that is nothing but a swirling vortex of thoughts and opinions. Lmho.

You either defend your stand and give evidence to support it but even then we are just all making assumptions.

Also questions like these tend to put me in a position where I feel like if I should respond then I am not only 'defending' my opinions but challenging other's opinions with my opinions and treating my opinions as if they were the facts. But they are not. It's just one opinion against another.

Know what I mean?

I used to be comfortable doing that because I thought it was all friendly debates and discourse until someone drew my attention to it and pointed out to me that when I do that I come across as 'all knowy,' 'presenting my opinions as facts' and 'challenging other's opinions with my opinion'- which y'all are well aware is the case that has launched a thousand hate comments, privacy invasion, doxing, lies and operation boycott Goldy on ship street.

I don't think it's worth it.

Then there is the substantive issue: how these questions are framed. How should I put this...

I never said anywhere that Jikook were broken up during the On era because they were not acting 'cozy'. Who's theory is that? Who said that? I've never peddled the 'Jikook is real because of skinship or their interactions' theory. If anything, I try to distinguish between Jikook's couple moments and their skinship or mere interactions because neither of those two make Jikook real... to me.

If Jikook showing skinship and merely interacting with eachother to you is a determining factor as to whether they are real- it's not, to me. I've made this much clear over the course of my blogs. If it's your metric then it differs from mine and I can't 'challenge' it. Lol.

I have said, Jikook can interact zero in a content and I still could be able to tell if they are a couple.

Similarly, two people can grind on eachother and stick their tongues down eachother's throats and I still will be able to tell they are not a couple within the same group if they are not.

Am I wrong sometimes? Absolutely. Hell, I said JK was going to post for Jimin's birthday. He didn't. I got that wrong.

I do retrospectively change my mind on a lot of things. If say, in the future, Jimin announced he has a kid and is married to a het woman I would backpedal on my theory that Jikook is real. I don't think it's that deep.

If at any one point, I have reason to believe Jikook aren't together any more as a couple within BTS, or that one of them is straight, I would change my opinion about them being in a gay relationship with eachother.

Similarly, if I have reason to believe Jikook have broken up or distanced themselves from eachother at one point, I would say so and not run around the internet yelling Jikook gay, Jikook married.

There are moments, when I thought Jikook were together but they weren't and so I had to change my mind in retrospect too.

It seems to me, that to y'all, as long as I'm saying Jikook are together then I'm right and it's Amen preach but if I say I think they are or were not together at a point in their relationship then suddenly it's, she is a Trump supporter spreading lies about Jikook and dancing in the rain with convicted serial killers while trying to pass off her published work as Jikook fanfiction. It's all very interesting how some people's minds work...

For the record, I said Jikook were broken up within that period because they were not claiming eachother, reassuring eachother, exercising rights of claim and authority, speaking eachothers love language and all the other metrics I have time and again pointed out several times across my posts that they are the qualities that to me make Jikook a couple.

So do you see why I feel some kind of way when people come at me with the, 'they stared at eachother' 'they smiled at eachther' they touched eachother' argument? Y'all must have me confused a certain shipper on the block. Lol.

You tell me they look cozy and intimate, but then I go and check and they are still not claiming eachother or exhibiting any of the qualities that makes them a couple. Lol.

If I say Jikook is in a relationship, it's usually because I have reasons to believe they are in a relationship. If I say Jikook are not together, it's also because I have reasons to believe they are not together. It's really not hard maths.

I forego a lot of sleep to ensure I share my thought process on a lot of my theories and opinions. I have shared across several posts why I believe Jikook is real. I have shared a few of the metrics I use to decide on that opinion and I have shared my thought process on why I believe in certain moments they aren't together.

It's exhausting when I have to repeat that process each time because then it's not about you asking for my opinion on the topic anymore because I've already stated that, it's about you asking me to change my opinion on a topic based on your assessment and your metric and it just doesn't work that way.

Your assertion that Run 119 was filmed in the same era as On is valid I guess... but I have to disagree. I can't tell you exactly when that episode was filmed but if I had to share my two cents on it, I'd have to place it towards the middle of April this year or somewhere around that period. In my opinion.

I say that because Jimin debuted his jet black hair around 14th April when he appeared in a Vlive with RM. Again I do not know exactly when he got his hair changed but as of March 26th, he had blondish hair.

In his March 30th Vlive- the one where JK interrupted Jin's call, he had a cap on so chilee I'm not gonna argue on whether he had dyed his hair at that point or not.

Then there is Suga, who has blonde hair in this Run 119 episode. He had blonde hair from his birthday in early March and tweeted a bunch of photos of himself in blonde hair from March through to April 28th.

Yet in the JinMinGi Vlive on April 27th when Jimin still had jet black hair, Suga seemed to have a jet black hair too. Which means he could have had blonde hair around the time Jimin went black in early April and dyed it black in late April- but that's theory and that's just my assumption. We can know for sure if and when knew content is released which was filmed around that period.

Thus, I doubt if it was filmed during On era like episode 116 and 117- where you could see clearly, Jikook were having issues.

Just because a peice of content is released in succession don't mean they were filmed around the same period...

So yes I agree with you, we only see snapshots of their time and most importantly we see them in DISORDER. BigHit doesn't release content in chronological order as per when they film them- something I keep reiterating throughout my blogs.

And just as a tip for when you want to reconstruct the timeline for accuracy based on their hairstyles, I think you should look to their Live contents and not their prerecorded content. Their VLives and Youtube lives- actual lives not the prerecorded ones passed off as live streams lol, or even their live reactions to when they win awards or do interviews etc.

I think those are a somewhat accurate reflection of the timeline and helps fit contents in their right time period. But even that- it's still 60/40. But that's me. Feel free to use your own metric to access the timeline.

And the part about them seeming cozy within- On Era, I assume? Because that's when I speculated they had a break up?

I wasn't going to address it because it requires me to provide a comprehensive reconstruction of the timeline but I can't do that until a few more years from now when BigHit has released all or most of the content they have on that period.

I'm just gonna have to repeat myself, for the n>th time though and be intentionally vague about it lol - I had decided not to talk about that period again but I have to just because you make it sound like I would go full on frying pan wielding JK on your ass, step for step, for pointing out that Jikook seemed cozy and intimate within that speculated breakup period. Chilee, I'm not a villain. Lol.

I will not whoop your ass for saying that- but you'd have to answer a seven page query if you are an avid reader of my blogs, so clear your schedule. It's gonna be a long day. Lol.

Query: How do you expect Jikook to look like and behave if and when they are not together together?

I keep saying, at the bare minimum, Jikook are friends not enemies. You don't expect them to act like they never knew eachother during such times. But it takes a while for them to settle into that space when they both feel comfortable with being friends and during such period is when you notice them putting up emotional boundaries and distance between them.

Maybe its just because I saw Jikook as friends and got used to them as friends before lovers and so spotting when they are acting as friends comes easy to me? I don't know.

I think it's similar to how people who are used to seeing Jikook as friends can't seem to see past their friendship to seeing them as a couple.

Then there are those who've only known Jikook to be a couple or saw them as a couple first upon entering the fandom and so can't seem to see them as friends or even think of them as friends. It can be a trip for such people. Which one are you?

If you see Jikook as lovers all the time, really I don't. And I don't need the tensions and the silences to sense something is off. JK unable to check RM or anyone within the group when they are crossing boundaries with Jimin is enough tell.

Same way I don't need to the skinship and 'cosy' to tell if they are together. Jk putting up emotional distance with certain members within the group- all but Jimin, is enough evidence for me.

We don't have to all see Jikook through the same lens to enjoy them. And we don't have to agree on everything too.

We are different people, with different backgrounds and experiences. We can't think the same or perceive on things the same.

I keep saying, to me, there is a quality to Jikook that makes them more than friends. If I see those qualities in them, I believe they are a couple. If not, they are not. Those are the qualities I see only between Jikook and what set them apart from the other ships in BTS.

I see their friendship and I also see their other stuff.

And I notice, during certain periods that they lose that quality that makes them couples- for them to be a couple they need to be speaking eachothers love language, exercising certain rights and privileges over each other, claiming eachother, reassuring eachother yadda yadda yadda and a whole others that don't include them merely talking to eachother or engaging in skinship.

When I talk about Jikook On Era break up period, I'm talking about the period from the 21st to 28th February this year- or the period right before it.

Thats the period I noticed a drastic change in Jikook's interactions and even their personalities. It gave me the feeling that jikook had been through something heavy prior to that date. That period seemed more like the aftermath of a break up rather than the beginning of it as there seemed to be a drastic flip in their dynamics compared to any era before that. Especially late December or around the period when they filmed Carpool Karaoke.

They weren't doing any of the things I've mentioned above that to me make them a couple- they were just interacting and pretty much being civil- except for JK. He seemed more angry, less tolerant and very assertive against Jimin and the group.

He was being super self assertive and was asserting himself even against Jimin- something he has been doing a lot this year which I keep talking about.

Jimin didn't seem different to me at all to me in that period until April.

Why do I feel you are forcing me to talk about something I don't want to talk about? Lol.

I mark that period as significant not only because of the changes that took place in Jikook's dynamics but because it marks the genesis of the JK we are experiencing today.

Their interactions within that period were reflective of a consistent pattern of behavior they've exhibited around periods when they are not together- JK putting up boundaries, not claiming JM, JM trying to reconnect etc.

For instance, at Music Bank on the 28th of February, Jimin did that thing with Jin when he noticed JK interacting with Tae but JK didn't mind him or claim.

Contrast that with their moment on the 1st March, at Inkigayo, where JK literally teleported his ass to stand behind JM when he noticed JM had started his shenanigans on the stage.

Jikook started claiming eachother and acting as a couple again from then- they started reassuring eachother and doing all these things that to me mark them as a couple. Again, this is only an assumption, I don't have the comprehensive breakdown of the period- yet because there are new contents being released on a daily.

On 6th March, during Music Bank when Hobi hugged Jimin during their interview JK reacted strongly to that too in my opinion.

On 30th March, JK interrupted Jin's call to flirt and ask JM on a date- you could see them acting as a couple from that moment at Inkigayo on 1st March throughout to 30th March and their interactions were consistent.

Their interactions in the period before that was pretty much inconsistent and filled with a lot of Jump cuts- which I'm hoping future contents will help fill the gaps for me so I can build a comprehensive breakdown of that era- at least for my self. Iol.

It's just the way Jikook usually behave after these period. They go through a reconnection phase, where they constantly try reassure eachother and then eventually end up in a honey moon phase of a sort where you'd see them flirting up and down the hills, acting super touchy, hitting the red marks- making us and the others feel weird and super uncomfortable watching them.

It's also important to note that around the period of them reconnecting, JK had started distancing himself from Tae. He puts up emotional boundaries with the others and closes himself off to them when he opens himself up to Jimin.

I mean if I'm 'wrong,' and I'm not saying I'm right, I'm just saying if I'm wrong because of your two seconds clip of them acting 'cozy,' then I gotta ask what happened to JK in this period? Why was he putting up boundaries between him and Jimin in that period, and what set him on this self assertive path he's been on throughout this year- think about that while I hold on to my he went through a nasty breakup and had an emotional trauma that pushed him on a path to reevaluate and set his priorities straight theory. Lol

I think some of the content they have released so far within that period were filmed either closer to or far from when that break up happened- Run 116 and 117 would be the closest to that period so far- I just don't know if it was before 21st February or after it.

Run 100 and 101 would also have been filmed relatively closer to that period or immediately after it because Jimin was behaving in those Runs the same way he was behaving during the On Comeback Special VLive which was released on 21st of February- I feel the breakup would happened before this date.

In both those Runs and the On comeback special, Jimin seemed beat, humbled and subdued. He was trying to establish eye contact with JK during the comeback VLive, egging him on to talk about his looks, and putting boundaries between him and the other members. He seemed to be on his best behavior.

For instance, in the Comback he seemed like he was walking on eggshells around Kookie and didn't want to create the impression he was going out of his way to flirt with the others or portray himself as available and so when Suga touched his waist or back, he asked him to stop.

Similary, in Runs 100/101 behind scenes or something, when they were eating and he noticed Tae had food residue on his lips, he tried to help him clean it but panicked and stopped the moment he sensedJK lifting his head up- it seemed he didn't want to piss JK off in those two instances. JK for the most part just seemed serious and less tolerant of JM's bs within that period.

Juxtapose JM's behavior in these two instances with the events at Music Bank and Inkigayo where he was hugging Jin and acting extra around Kook- which to me seemed like he was looking for reassurance by trying to get JK to claim him but of course JK didn't do that.

Jimin likes being reassured by JK when he is feeling 'insecure.' And often, JK reassures him when he notices JM going through that. Jimin does the same for JK.

They are intune with eachother's emotional needs and they consciously go out of their way to meet them.

Take the recent MAMA speech moment when JM was giving a speech and he seemed like he need support- emotional support and back up. Jk turn fully and instantly towards him to let him know he was there for him. We've seen Jikook do this a countless times. I value these moments over them showing skinship or screaming eachother's names.

In the recent BE press conference red carpet moment when JM tried it with RM- did you notice JK's reaction? They both seemed like they were trying to piss eachother other off or make each eachother jealous during that red carpet moment.

JM with RM and JK with Jin. JK grabbed Jin's neck when he noticed JM intentionally acting all up close and friendly with his buddy buddy RM and the frown on his face. He didn't seem too amused with JM doing that...

- it's weird, I know, but it's also their way of reassuring eachother and expressing interest in eachother. Don't judge. It's Jikook- just look away, keep it pushing. Nothing to see here. Lol.

Had it not been for the live events around that On period, I probably wouldn't have noticed these things because the content from BigHit around the period were only showing glimpses of their interactions which again seemed like the aftermath of their breakup and not the start of it.

I think their ability to get to that space where they are each comfortable with relating freely and 'cozy' around eachother as friends depends on how soon they interact on cameras after they've gone through such periods.

If they film immediately soon after, or during, often the tension between them is much more evident like in run 116 and 117.

If they film much later from it, then you wouldn't even notice a damn thing at all. In my opinion. Especially, if you don't know the difference between Jikook as friends and Jikook as lovers.

You can never tell though if you focus solely on Jimin's behavior during such periods- because Jimin is just that guy. He doesn't bring the drama to work. He will smile sunshine through the pain and act like nothing happened. For JK it's different, in my opinion.

Jimin has a very high emotional intelligence quotient and seems to process emotions better and faster. JK is not like that. It is why I feel, he tends to put up physical and emotional barriers with Jimin and with the others sometimes when he is going through it.

They all process emotions at different paces. In my opinion.

I'm starting to wonder if y'all think Jikook is one sided at this point. Lol. Jikook is not one sided. Jimin is not the only one in their relationship. You can't focus on him alone to decide if your ship is sailing or in a good place- because guess what? Jimin can put up a show of it.

It's just as how Tuktukkers tend to focus on Tae rather than JK in determining whether they still have a ship or not. If they paid attention to JK for one minute, they would know their ship got lost at sea at debut.

I keep saying JM's 'the boy in love with Jungkook' persona is a facade. He loves JK through this facade but you have to look past it. I mean this is the guy who told Jin JK doesn't act a certain way around him, but backpedaled and said he was just 'saying it for content' when Jin called him out on it. Same guy Jk says, he intentionally acts cutes when he notices the cameras on him.

You gotta wonder what else he does just for content and for the cameras. Isn't this why people claim Jikook is fanservice?

You have to pay attention to JK too you know? They have different personalities, different ways of handling issues, different ways of loving and different ways of solving problems.

Jimin over expresses himself and tries to establish contact when he is at the recieving end of a freeze out. He did the same thing on stage with JK during Manila when he tried to have a conversation with Kook- to squash whatever issues they had been having but JK needed his space physically and emotionally.

Jimin was sat next to Suga chatting with him, asking him questions, laughing with him but the moment Suga touched him he snapped. He did the same thing in Dynamite MV reaction VLive when JK teased him with Suga. He snapped almost instantly and didn't seem happy with it- he doesn't want to be shipped with Suga and yet he is the one constantly going 'I miss Suga hyung' 'Suga and I are the parents and JK is the son"

In run 116, you could see him trying to interact with Kook even when Kook was clearly putting up boundaries with him. Had Kook not been closed off to him in that moment, we probably would never have noticed anything was off with them honestly.

And that hug JM gave Kook in the end, did you see him looking sideways as if he was doing something wrong? Compare that moment with the Siriux FM interview where he had his hands around Kook. He didn't seem- what's the word, scared.

And by the way, that moment was also filmed on the 21st of February in the US, the same day of their Rockefeller interview and the same day the On Comeback Special VLive was released- so do the maths? Was that the start of a break up or the aftermath of it?

Jimin was leaning forward in that period true, but was JK receiving and reciprocating his actions and matching them throughout that period? No. Or may be its debatable- you tell me. Lol.

Jikook behave in a certain way and give off a certain vibe when they are good and sailing- but not all such moments is because they are a couple. In my opinion.

When they get to that good space where they can be comfortable around each other, they sail as friends too.

It's just like, when they are not good and they give off bad vibes. But not all the bad vibes they give off is because they are not good. Know what I mean?

It's all up to how you perceive them and how much you understand of their dynamics I guess.

It is my understanding that, JK opens up to certain other members within the group while simultaneously putting up boundaries with Jimin when he is having serious problems with Jimin. From my observation of their interactions.

So I ask, within the period of 21st February to 28th, was he leaning towards this certain member he was suddenly BFFs with around the time of their break up or was he leaning away from him? He literally teleported away from him to be next to Jimin when they were getting back together and Tae didn't seem amused by that either.

It's Jikook, I get it. I think you need to pay attention to the way they interact with the other members within the group too? Because that's equally telling. Sigh.

It is my understanding that, Jimin is quick to anger yet quick to forgive and he sometimes glosses over things, puts a lot of energy and efforts into embellishing his relationship with Kook and presenting them as the perfect duo and the perfect relationship- which is something that I think psychologically induces the Kumbaya in a lot of Jikook shippers and influences them into thinking their relationship is perfect and kumbaya. But that's another topic for another day.

JK makes Jikook more real. To me.

I hear often, people talk about how Jimin is less touchy than JK and has personal boundaries within the group and how over the years, he has toned down on his touchiness with the other members because JK puts up a lot of boundaries for him around the members with the frying pans and what not, and would fume whenever Jimin or anyone crosses those boundaries...

But have y'all ever wondered the kind of boundaries Jimin put up for JK within the group and expects JK to uphold within the group when they are together? Hint: It's not JK's touchiness or lack of boundaries. Y'all be connecting the wrong dots. Lol.

Jk puts up physical boundaries for Jimin because that is important to him. Jimin put up emotional boundaries for JK because that is important to him. They overlap sometimes but those times are insignificant to me.

Jk's certain bonds suffer because of Jimin. And he stops respecting those boundaries when he and Jimin are no longer together and the moment they are back together, he puts those boundaries up again with those bonds- this is Morse code, if you catch on message me with it. Wink.

JM throwing his arms around Kook during a serious interview is not him claiming JK or reassuring him. JK yelling Jimin to the power Z is not him exercising right of authority over Jimin- lovers do that. Know who else does that? FRIENDS. Lol.

It's nothing Hobi doesn't do with JM or the other ships don't do.

Listen, I saw all the good bits and things that you saw in that period too and still I formed my opinion on that era the way that I did and have. And the new content from that era, Run 116 and 117 all follow the same pattern of behavior I noticed around that period and have talked about. So no, my view on that era hasn't changed.

Unless, your objective is to have me change my mind based on the 'wrong' timeline dots you've connected, then we would just have to agree to disagree. Lol.

If you believe Jikook were together during that period, I agree to disagree on it. Feel free to disagree with my opinion too.

Always ship Jikook in the way that makes sense to you. And support them while you are at it. Jikook is real. Bless you.

Signed,

GOLDY

[band--psycho]

Negan!Imagine-Part 5

Part 4

Negans POV

I’d brought Y/N/N back to my room, knowing that it would be safer for her then the doctors room; and more private. I know I said she would be safe here, and I was sure she would be, but it was just a precaution. I didn’t really sleep much during the night though, worry and anger filled my head every time I attempted to. I glanced down at Y/N/N who was laying on my chest, she was still as beautiful as ever. I felt my heart ache as guilt washed over me, seeing the bruises and cuts that covered her...I should’ve been there for her, protected her like I promised I would when all this shit began. I couldn’t help but sigh knowing that I couldn’t stay like this forever, no matter how much I wanted to, I still had to run the Sanctuary, and find out who did this to her. 

“What are you thinking about?” I heard her whisper, as she placed a light kiss on my chest, causing a small smile to come over my face.

“Nothing, princess,” I replied back, moving my hand to her hair, stroking it softly. We stayed like that for a while, neither of us saying anything, just enjoying eachothers comfort; something neither of us had enjoyed in a long time. I could see Y/N/N was drifting back off to sleep,before a knock at the door made her jump slightly.

“Boss?” I heard Simon call through the door, reality setting in. 

“What the fuck is it Simon?” I asked, catching Y/N/Ns attention; that’s when it dawned on me that Y/N/N hadn’t seen Simon since this all began. 

“You’re needed downstairs,” He said through the door. 

“Fuck,” I sighed, carefully I lifting Y/N/N off of my chest, kissing her forehead lightly before beginning to put on my leather jacket

“Can’t I come with you?” I heard her ask, as she attempted to sit up, a small wince painting her face as she tried. 

“You need to rest, princess,” I told her, pushing her shoulders back down lightly. 

“I’m fine,” she protested, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. She always was stubborn. 

“Rest,” I whispered, placing a kiss on her hands as I grabbed Lucille and walked towards the door, opening it to reveal Simon. 

“Can you stay with her?” I asked. 

“Why?” He asked, a confused look coming over his face.

“Because I’m fucking asking ya too,” I stated, swinging Lucille over my shoulder. He nodded,walking into my room, as I made my way downstairs. 

Y/N/Ns POV

Well, you look like shit,” Simon said, a small chuckle in his voice, as the door closed behind him.

“Still look a damn site better than you do,” I joked, holding my side slightly as I laughed. 

“It’s good to see ya, kid,” Simon said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. 

“You too,” I replied with a small smile on my face. 

“They really did a number on ya, didn’t they?” he asked, his eyes looking at the bruises and cuts that scattered my body. 

“I’m fine,” I reassured him and he simply nodded his head. 

“I don’t need a babysitter either,” I pointed out, causing him to laugh putting his hands up in a surrendering motion. 

“I’m just doing what I’m told,” he defended, moving over to the sofa. 

“So c’mon, tell me,” He said, causing me to raise an eyebrow in confusion.

“Well, it’s been years since I last saw ya and you seem..different,” he stated

“Different?” I asked

“Stronger.”

“I heard you punched one of our guys, a few days ago, you gave him a pretty good black eye,” he stated, reminding me of the event. 

Simon and I spent a few hours catching up on everything that has been happening since the end of the world. 

“Negan,” I heard a foreign voice call out from the other side of the door, a knock following soon after. I sent a confused look to Simon; worry filling his face as I did so. The voice and knock came again and all colour seemed to fade from Simons face, as if he’d just seen a ghost. Curious as to who this girl was, I began to make my way to the door, my legs felt like jelly underneath me but I wasn’t going to let that stop me..

“Don’t, I’ll get it,” Simon said, ushering me back down onto the bed before he made his way to the door. 

“Simon,” the girl greeted. 

“Tanya, what are you doing here?” he asked but I could sense the nervousness in his voice, which surprised me, he wasn’t normally a nervous person. 

“Well what do you think I’m doing here, I’m here to see Negan,” She said, as she attempted to push her way into the room, only for Simon to put his hand to the wall, blocking her entrance.

“Negans not here right now,” he said bluntly, attempting to close the door on her. 

“That’s fine, I’ll wait, it’ll give me time to get ready for him,” she replied, this time successfully pushing past Simon and into the room. Her eyes instantly landed on me, and the smile that she had when she entered the room, faded quickly. Confusion raced through my head as I thought about what she said ‘It’ll give me time to get ready for him’ what the fuck was going on. 

“Who the fuck are you,” She shouted, dragging me away from my thoughts. 

“Tanya get out,” Simon ordered, pulling her back towards the door, I heard her huff before the sound of heels went faint and Simon closed the door. 

“Who was she?” I asked Simon, fear and confusion running through my head, but he simply shook his head in response. 

“Simon? Who the fuck was she?” I asked again, my voice harsher. 

“I thought he would’ve told you, Y/N/N..” He said, his voice trailing off as he slumped down on the sofa. 

“That was Tanya,” He began, and I could feel my heart racing in my chest. 

“She’s one of Negans wives…” He explained; at his words I felt my heart shatter. 

“One of Negans wives..” I repeated,trying not to cry infront of him.

“Wait...one of….how many does he have..?” I choked out, not really wanting to know the answer. 

“Y/N/N, I don’t think-”

“HOW MANY?” I snapped.

“Six…” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, as he sent me a sympathetic look. 

“Y/N/N, I-” he began but I just shook my head, I didn’t want to hear anymore. I heard all I needed to. 

“Get out Simon..” I said, trying to drag back some of my composure, he hesitated for a few seconds, before slowly walking out the door. As soon as I heard the door close, all the emotion I’d tried to keep in, spilled out.

Tagged: @you-a-southpaw-doll @neganandblake @glicabhainn00 @blushreads @partyelleth7601 @nerdygirlwithacrush @lettherebepink @elliecapper @beltzboys2015-blog @cesarofangirl78 @negan-morningstar @wow-life-love4 @xialewis666 @chubby-dumplin @pleasforhelp @negandad @scorpioempress

Let me know if you want to be tagged!

Part 6

[mirroredglitch]

On the Topic of "Friends"

After seeing the post that @fiftyshadesofdes made last night, I finally have the courage to discuss more thoroughly my experience with someone in the Mystic Messenger fandom. I would like to start with saying that if you got a notification for this post, it is because you are involved in some way. A few names shall be omitted for the sole reason that I don't want backlash from them specifically, but still.

This is going to get rather long, so, under a cut it goes!!

Many of you who follow me know that I was good friends with someone who writes a... decently well known fic involving the Choi twins. And some who I have talked more extensively with will know that this person and I are no longer friends.

I have to start from the beginning though, because although things got extra bad towards the end, there were events that happened along the way that hurt me deeply as well, and that I realize now were manipulative and abusive.

This person and I met through tumblr. I started following them after binge reading a few of their fics. And surprisingly, they followed me back. I was stunned, honestly. Someone I admired had noticed me! Me, who hasn't been active in any fandom in a long time, got in with someone I admired rather quickly.

They invited me to a server on Discord, and we talked more and more. Eventually becoming really, really good friends. I had never connected with someone as quickly as I did with them. We clung to eachother, in a way that I realize now was ultimately rather unhealthy.

I defended them when a 'friend' of theirs insisted on belittling them in the server. Like, I ripped into this person. I don't tolerate bullying, and if I see injustice of any kind, then I speak up. So that's what I did. And this person appreciated that. Probably too much, since this ultimately bit me in the ass later, but I'll get to that.

We, and a few other friends, started a fandom project. This project was met with... a lot of drama and controversy. We lost a friend in the process, and a few of our contributors left rather quickly. But we stuck with it. I would have defended that project and the people who were part of it with my life. And for a good chunk of it, I felt I had to. I answered asks, some of which were honestly nasty. I put out our PR announcements, and was met with some backlash with some of it.

I started to become friends with one of our contributors, @casualpastelgay. We had a shared love of Zen, and I was so, so happy to have someone to gush with about him, because my other friend disliked him so heavily. So I stopped talking about him with them, because I always seemed to be met with annoyance and animosity when I talked about him. Because he wasn't Saeyoung, and because this person also associated Zen with an ex-friend of theirs (the same one I defended them against previously).

I invited Raine into a server I made for my friends. And we talked about Zen in there. As well as discussing Vanderwood with @lokiiwood. My other friend decided that because we weren't talking about Saeyoung or Saeran, that they no longer had a voice. I was accused of replacing them as my best friend with Raine. I was made to feel awful for having friends other than them.

I had to deal with this while being sick, and camping with my (now ex) boyfriend and his family. I had to deal with dysphoria, and being misgendered and dead named, as well as the anxiety that I felt like my friendship with this person was crumbling for reasons I didn't even know. Because they weren't talking to me about why they were upset.

If I recall, shortly before this, I had started working on a Choi Sandwich fic that was meant to be a gift for this person. But, I was dealing with stress and so focused my attention to discussing an idea that was deeply important to me involving Zen. And I was bitched out for even thinking of an idea that wasn't this gift for them. Something that was meant as a stress reliever was treated with contempt by someone who I believed had my back.

They actually left my discord server because they were so upset at me.

The nail in the coffin on this? They had been complaining about how another friend acted jealous towards our friendship, and how they just wanted to be allowed to have other friends... but then turned around and acted the exact same way towards me.

We worked out our shit though, and I thought things were fine. But they threw a fit when I started getting closer with Karin/@lokiiwood as well. I had... a massive crush on her and they knew that, and got upset that I was talking to her as much as I did??

All throughout this, things were going... weird with the project we were modding. @fiftyshadesofdes had joined our team, as well as a few others, but I mention Des specifically because this person was truly awful to her. They got upset when one of our other friends starting getting close to Des and her date mate, @joz-stankovich. I heard numerous times how they thought that Joz and Des were petty and childish. And they misgendered Joz numerous times, which I got frustrated hearing, too. Because if they couldn't use their preferred pronouns, how could I expect this person to use mine when talking to others? As a trans guy, this deeply upset me, but, I held my tongue.

It reached the point where they were actually trash talking the art and writing of these two in private to me. Which was disheartening because they spoke so highly of them prior to Joz and Des deciding that they needed to step away from this person.

One of our other friends had also stopped talking to them for a while because of how they were being treated. And good lord... the amount of times I was complained to about how childish they were being. And how hurt they felt by this person... was honestly overwhelming. Remember how I mentioned earlier that my need to help bit me in the ass? Yeah, I went and talked to this person, and helped the two of them repair their friendship. It felt good to help, but now I feel as though my kindness and need to help was taken advantage of.

While all this was going on, I had to take a step back from the fandom project. I had a lot of life changes going on, and my mental health was getting extremely bad. To the point where I genuinely wanted to kill myself. I had split up with my boyfriend. I moved back in with my mom and brother. My grandmother passed away. My life was honestly a mess.

This person was by me through all of that. The mod team understood why I needed to take a break.

And then I got a new job. And I met my current boyfriend. And I stopped being online as much. I tried to message friends when I could, providing updates. Life was looking up.

My friend ignored me. Every single time I messaged them.

Until they finally responded, getting very upset with me for not being around. For 'abandoning' them. I got upset in return, and I lashed out. I think them getting upset with me for being happy and having a life was the straw that broke the camel's back for me.

I was told I was being replaced on the Choi Sandwich Week mod team. Because I couldn't be trusted to commit to it. So I left the blog and gave them full control. I transferred ownership of the discord server for it to them and left. I was so hurt that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with it.

They left all of our other mutual servers in return.

A few days later I was informed by the current head of our fandom project that I would not be credited as part of the team because it was unfair to the others for me to be credited when I was taking a mental health break. Despite all the work I put into handling things on the blog. Despite the fact that I had been a part of this project from its conception. I had been through hell and back for this project, and this is what I got in return?

I told myself I was okay with that. And then a day or two later I saw that my ability to see all the channels in the server for this project had been revoked. And I was so deeply upset that I just... gave up. I left. I was done being treated like a villain for doing what I felt I needed to. I had been told that my not being credited had nothing to do with my personal relationships with anyone in the team, but the fact that it was mentioned, and what happened afterwards just proves that it absolutely did.

After our fight, I had made the decision to block this person on tumblr and twitter. And I made a post about how a good friend had hurt me. I was upset and I needed to vent. Joz, Des, and Karin were there for me. Joz and Des being surprising to me at the time because I thought they disliked me for being as close with this person as I was. I was pleasantly surprised that they were so open and accepting of me when I reached out to them.

Some time later, I tried to reach out to this person again though. Because I was hurting. How does one go from being best friends to practically hating eachother overnight like that?

I got bitched out for defending myself. For venting. For blocking them when I assumed they wanted nothing to do with me. I was the bad guy once again.

I also found out recently that they hurt my friend @aromaticboar as well. I don't know if they even realized they did it, but still. I know she's done chasing down their friendship, and so am I.

I will not name this person in this post, but anyone who wants to know is welcome to send me a DM. To those of you who know who I'm talking about... thank you for being by my side while I pulled myself together again after I was hurt.

And to anyone who has been manipulated or emotionally abused, by this person or anyone else... know that you are not alone. I stand by you and am always open to talk.

Thanks for listening.

[teamwang]

Today I woke upto jinyoungot7 making a post about me and my friends here and I’m just going to talk about that.

A few days back on March 20th out of nowhere I got hate in my ask, telling me to delete my account and calling me ugly. I had no idea for what I got that hate for but then turns out 2 of my friends got the exact same hate, so i realized its because of the whole “re-giffing issue” that they’ve been very vocal about, they have been getting hate about it prior to this as well (great way of handling stuff btw). 

The thing is, I have never once talked about it, never once reblogged anything related to it. i never once talked about any blog but still somehow someone had told their followers that us 3 were involved in the issue, by giving away my url, and then made it look like we were cyber-bullying. this was what struck a nerve with me and I felt really bad. Everyone had already assumed that my friends (and now me) were talking about jinyoungot7 whenever they talked about re-giffing and they had gotten a lot of asks with her url asking if they’re talking about her, but they never posted those ask because that would have been targeting her, moreover they were generally frustrated at an issue and not always a blog.

Anyway so I decided to send jinyoungot7 a message and resolve this issue, maybe ask her to ask her friends not to give away urls of people that had nothing to do with this, but then I thought that’s really selfish of me to only think about myself and not my friends because all of us were getting hate over trivial things, I thought i’d let her know about this and tell her in a very polite manner that what my friends are suggesting is for you to maybe check before giffing if it’s been giffed or not, and I was prepared for them to be like, “no, i won’t check i’ll do as i have always done” or “sure, i’ll me a lil mindful about it sometimes”, i was prepared for the worst and the best. 

Anyway, so I messaged them, they were online they said they have to go to sleep soon though, and I was like that’s fine, we’ll talk while we can. I sent her a whole message you can find that all here jinyoungot7 very generously made a post about it. below this, i’ll just post the things she missed out from our messages. like how after reading everything we had this convo

wherein I wasn’t sure she was ever going to reply to me because “i read everything but i won’t respond now” seemed very vague to me. she didn’t reply on that day and the day after even though she did come online so it wasn’t like she couldn’t message me and say she’s a little busy and will get back to me. that’s when i again sent her a message and so on the third day I decided to conclude because I didn’t feel like they cared enough. (i also made a text post calling her a bitch “a difficult or unpleasant situation or thing” because she really was being that)

But then she did reply after my long message and you can again find it in her post. we talked, she felt like i wasn’t getting her point because my friends weren’t considerate of her in the past and I told her i’m sorry for their words and “i see that this issue has blown way out of proportion and its not even that deep im sorry both the sides had to see the ugliness of this.” because WE JUST felt bad about making and putting time in our gifs and someone making the exact same thing and ours collecting dust, and i went to talk to her as a friend even though we weren’t i see that now. it’s like your friend made a gifset, now there is no need making that gifset again because already one is out there, you let their gifset boom and you make something else. it’s just it’s not a set of rules but a little understanding between people to respect eachothers work. i expected her to understand this and then be like “no i wont” or “yes i would”.

anyway ultimately she blocked me after these messages and never replied back. said that we weren’t considerate of her so she won’t be considerate of us. 

she instead of replying to me made a post about it on her blog (again you can see it here) saying that she wants to clear her name. tell me why do you need to clear your name when your name isn’t out there because in none of the posts that my friends made they ever EVER used her url. everyone, her, her friends, her followers, my friend’s follower, EVERYONE assumed it was her because she just simply ticked all the boxes. i’m sorry as i already mentioned to her, it wasn’t a big issue and i was sorry it had blow out of proportion, but instead of just ending the issue by replying to me, they made a post about it and replied there.

now the whole issue of cyberbullying is coming forward from people that support her and this really hurts me because I for one didn’t say a single thing, I went to her to resolve the issue because it has already become that nasty, i was never rude to her, i told her when i thought she didn’t understood anything or when i didn’t understood anything, we had a very civil conversation. but she used all our messages and made a post about it, using our urls, now tell me how is that not cyberbullying? defination: “an aggressive, intentional act or behavior that is carried out by a group or an individual, using electronic forms of contact, repeatedly and over time against a victim who cannot easily defend him or herself.”  tell me how do we defend ourselves now and tell our side of the story when she’s already tried to put us in the bad light with the audience she has?

in conclusion, this isn’t about me or my friends asking her to reblog our posts, i’ve said this a lot of times, it’s for all the small blogs, that work hard as much as she does, but aren’t getting the chance or opportunity to grow. if you see 2 same gifsets, one by a big known account, beautiful gifs, but the other by a small accounts, good gifs. which one would you reblog? then again it was only a matter of understanding and she could have said she didn’t understand and didn’t wanna waste her time checking the tags as its “tedious and time consuming” as she did in the post she made. it was very easy to reply to me then to make a post like this but okay. i hope you guys understand what i’m trying to say and what my friends have been trying to say. i just wanted to bring both sides of the stories to you so it’s not like I stayed mute ‘cause I did something wrong.

update: i hope this issue dies done now, even by making that public post jinyoungot7 have replied and said they’re not going to check the tags and keep on giffing like they have and at least we got our answer. we didn’t want to make her do anything but just get our point ahead. this situation has already become too big when it was a tiny thing that anyone could talk out. anyway yes i hope that no party pursues this anymore cause from our side its done.

[sherlock-one-shots]

Babysitting (John WatsonXReader)

Summary: Having no one else on Thursdays, John give you, his neighbor, a job babysitting his daughter. A/N: My first JohnXReader on this blog. The next one will be a Sherlock X Reader because I don’t know how to stop myself. Don’t forget that requests are wide open! “Good morning.” You greeted John as the front door swung open. He was standing there with a smile, Rosie on his hip. She was getting bigger and bigger each time you saw her and her first birthday was approaching in a week. “Morning (Y/N).” He moved aside to let you in. “How have you been?” “Great, thanks.” You put your purse on the chair you usually left it on. Rosie wasn’t able to reach it there and you never sat in it so it was the perfect spot. “How about yourself?” He nodded. “Much better. Getting better everyday.” “I’m glad.” You answered honestly. You had been neighbors and friends with the good doctor for a year or so now. You knew his wife a little, but you weren’t really friends simply because you didn’t see each other. You were sure that if you got to know her you would love her. John said nothing but great things about her. You were there for him a lot after she died. The first few days you checked on him once, just to see if he needed anything. If you were going to the store you offered to pick some things up for him if he needed it, if you went out to lunch you offered to get something for him so he would have some lunch as well, and often invited him and Rosie out with you. He usually declined, though, not wanting to leave the house and you understood, but you wanted to help. After telling him you want to help, he asked if you would watch Rosie on Thursdays. Mrs. Hudson, his old landlady, went on a day out with her friends, Molly Hooper, another friend who usually watched Rosie, was working, and Thursdays were your days off. It worked perfectly. “I’m getting off of work an hour early today, but I’ll pay you the same.” You shook your head, hating that he was paying you at all. “You really don’t have to do that.” You assured him. “You really, really don’t. I don’t mind doing this at all.” You told him the same thing every single morning, but he payed you anyway. “No, it’s no trouble. No trouble at all. She hasn’t had breakfast yet, I woke up late, so she might get a little hungry soon.” He passed Rosie over to you with a smile. She grasped onto his shirt, not wanting him to go. “Come on Miss Rosie, don’t you want some breakfast?” You asked, getting her attention. Of course she didn’t understand even half of what you were saying, but her grip loosened on John’s shirt and he was able to get away. You saw him debate on whether to kiss her on the head or not, but decided against it, not wanting to undo your good work. “See ya.” He whispered while shutting the door. You grinned and waved a hand as he went. As soon as the door closed, you took Rosie to the kitchen, giving her baby cereal and applesauce for breakfast. XXXXXXXXXX John came home early, as promised to find you and Rosie on the couch. Rosie was laying on your chest, half asleep, hands in fists by her head as you brushed back little blond curls that painfully reminded John of Mary. Your eyes, he could tell, were fixed on the telly (which you muted so Rosie could sleep) but shot to him as he entered the room. “Afternoon.” You whispered. He only grinned, shedding his coat and hanging it on the rack. “Tea?” He offered. You nodded and he walked to the kitchen, preparing his favorite drink. “How was she today?” He asked, hoping she wasn’t too rowdy. She never really was when he was around but he didn’t know if that changed when he was gone. Perhaps she was the devil in disguise. “She was great. An angel.” He smiled, glad that she was behaving. He had heard stories from friends and family that already had children, saying that around one and two was when they became handfuls. “As always.” He joked. You nodded with a little laugh. “She really is good, all the time. I never have any problems with her.” You stared down at her, still stroking her curls. She was sound asleep now. John stared at you. He knew that he should look away but he didn’t. You didn’t seem to mind. You were so good with Rosie. That’s one of the things he noticed first. She adored you and you adored her just as much, if not more. You were great with children anyway, but he only saw you with Rosie. You were incredibly kind to both of them all this time. You ran errands when he couldn’t, offered to do things for him and help him whenever he needed it. You were nice and you cared so much about both of them. Not to mention he didn’t think you were bad looking. At all. Quite the opposite, in fact. He just never really admitted it, thought. You had known eachother for years and he was always so embarrassed. Then he met Mary and fell in love instantly. He loved her, he really, really did, but he often wondered how much different it would be if he gathered up enough courage and asked you on a date. Would he still have met Mary? Would he have fallen in love with her like he did. He would never know now. But he was glad of the way it turned out. He was glad he had Rosie. You had a crush on the doctor as well, but with the same problem-no courage. Then he invited you to the wedding. You went with no hard feelings, happy for both of them. Mary seemed nice and treated him well, so that was good. It hurt a little (okay, more than a little…) but you were happy that he was happy and his happiness was all that mattered. John wondered if he was ready to move on. He knew if he was you would be the first person he would think of dating, but then again if he was already thinking about moving on then was he ready? If he was thinking of asking you on a date at the coffee shop a few blocks away and then maybe taking you to the cinema to see the movie you were watching the trailer of intently- was he ready? Might as well try, at least. If he wasn’t he was sure you would understand. He took a deep breath, going to ask before the fluttering in his stomach could silence him, but the kettle beat him to it. As soon as it began to whistle, he jumped up, walking ot the kitchen and taking it off the stove immediately, not wanting to noise to wake his daughter. He quickly turned his head to see if it did. You, knowing what he was checking for, shook your head. He poured the tea, making yours exactly how you liked it and brought it to you. Getting closer, he could see that Rosie was getting drool on your shirt and you looked as if you were going to fall asleep yourself. He grinned, and you thought it was just a nice, friendly gesture, but he was simply smiling at the sight. “You don’t mind if I stay for a while, do you?” You took a sip. He shook his head quickly, sitting back down. “Stay as long as you want.” He invited you. You smiled, eyes going back to the telly and John knew that this was his chance. He was ready. Mary would want this, he thought, and he wanted it too. He took another deep breath, calming his nerves before saying your name to get your attention. “Yeah?” You turned to him. “Would you-well, I don’t know if-” He stopped, trying to figure out just what he wanted to say. He didn’t want to seem silly or stupid, but he didn’t want to seem to formal either. IN the het of the moment it was difficult to find the balance between the two. “Is everything alright?” You wondered. John nodded. “Yeah, I was just wondering if you would maybe like to go out for coffee sometime. Maybe Saturday?” He asked. “It doesn’t have to be coffee.” He added almost so quickly that you barely caught what he said. “We can go to the cinema, or go to dinner somewhere…” he trailed off. You looked at him in shock. You definitely weren’t expecting that. “Like as a date?” “Only if you want it to be.” You couldn’t stop the smile that forced the corners of your lips upwards. You would like that. You really would. “I think…” John went on. “That I’m ready to move forward. And you are such a kind, beautiful person inside and out.” He grinned.”You’re good to me and to Rosie, she loves you and i can’ tell you love her.” You nodded. “I do.” You assured him. “I’ve liked you for a while now, and I’ve thought about it. I would love to take you on a date.” You didn’t know what to say. You wanted to, and he said he was ready to move on, so why not? “I would love that.” His grin widened. Sorry if it wasn't the best. I’ve been trying to write one a day, but I’m on vacation atm so it’s been kind of difficult. Hopefully some more JohnXReader coming soon (I’m a Sherlock gal myself but John is beginning to steal my heart…) Requests are open! I don’t bite. Promise! :)

[lgbtloudhouse]

The fall of Lgbtloudhouse. A Story based on real events. An au of reality.

Depression. It wasn’t as bad as it seemed, for a certain young girl… at least not in their eyes… Celeste B was a normal fangirl. She would laugh and cry over things people called “for kids”.. Well, it was for kids! And she still was a kid, so she enjoyed the things she liked to do. Drawing, editing, watching The Loud House and obsessing over the characters. She loved the show and it was one of her favorite things to watch. She would make connections with them and pick out things about them that she would relate to. “Ok, come on, Luan is gay as hell and y'all know it.” She said to no one in particular, but just thinking out loud. She would just browse tumblr looking at some of her favorite blogs and the ones she makes friends with. They were one of the reasons she lift her head up and smiled. Until one day. Let’s just say to summarize it, she was mentally unstable and ill. She took meds for it, but she still had her moments. Her weaknesses. Her downfalls. It turned dark.

Celeste was scrolling through one day and came across something disturbing. People were calling her out. She looked closer, confused and worried. “Its just a drawing, get over it!” “Wow, I can’t believe some little kid is getting triggered over a simple drawing. Jump only drew an oc!” “Lmao damn sjw’s crying again kys”

“W-what.??” Celeste felt something hit her heart. Was this really happening? /oh.. well, it’s nothing. I’m pretty sure it’s just some trolls…/ But she’ll come soon to know that it was more than just trolls she was dealing with.

-some while later- Celeste was doing well. Drawing random lil things here and there. Going on tumblr was hard, but she still loved it. …..

“Oh.. oh my GOD!!!” Celeste put her hand over her mouth in fear. What is this… this… thing she’s looking at? “Did.. they… they… drew PORN of me???” She was shaking, trying not to cry. She needed to talk to someone about this.

Her friends. The safe squad.

She opened up her messages.

Lgbtloudhouse: Queenie! I.. I found something, it’s very very disturbing.. QB: what is it? *lgbtloudhouse sent a link* QB: oh my lord.. These trashies don’t know when yo stop. I can’t believe they’d stoop to such a low level. I’ll handle it. For now, block aval0nx and report it. Lgbtloudhouse: ok..

Celeste was sitting in her room, just trying to ignore everything. Why would someone so such a thing to a mentally ill teenager who only wanted some peace? She sighed, and went to bed.

-some days later-

Celeste had a huge headache. Dealing with internet creeps was not going well for her. She tried to ignore it, but each time she would make it feel bad about herself. She still couldn’t believe what happened. She just wanted a break, but she couldn’t.. She didn’t know why, or what was holding her back, but she knew it wasn’t good.

/time to see what’s going on again../ she thought.

“You are worse than cancer. You are incurable, never go away, and torments people for the rest of there life’s to the point where you want to kill yourself. I don’t think I need to explain why for both points.”

“Let’s see lgbtloudhouse use those insults later when she isn’t some snobby kid whos parents probably buy her everything she wants, she thinks the whole world has to bow to her just because she thinks we should. Lgbtloudhouse is just a spoiled brat. You can practically smell the friendlessness and bitch from that kid.”

“Lgbtloudhouse is a cunt.”

“She must be a real dumbass cunt if she thought she won. I will use the word strongly. Dumbass cunt.”

“Queenie is just using lgbtloudhouse. Like a tool. She doesnt care about her feelings”

“We may like fictional incest but for the love of God act better than lgbtloudhouse and safehouse!”

“New comic. Page 1/10. Chapter one: a "Celestial” being.“

/NO…/

/OH MY.. GOD…/

Celeste could not believe what she was seeing. Her mind felt like it was crumbling apart trying to stay stable.

/leave. I’m gonna leave./ she thought.

Upon finding more chaos.. she decided to take a break.

Until one day.

A fellow friend of hers decided to message her to inform her on what has happened. Something that she’d never seen before. Let’s call this guy, "Lines”. No shade or anything negative to Lines. But Celeste discovered something horrific that shook her to the core. He sent her some photos in warning to her.

“There’s something I found online.. and i think you need to see this..”

“Sure, what is it?”

*Lines sent a photo*

“Do the world a favor, and do the n— jig off the nearest tree.” One photo showed a Celeste glancing at a rope along with a Clyde dangling on a tree, dead, in the background. Sucide baiting. Something inside of Celeste broke. She couldn’t feel anything anymore.

“Also…”

*Lines sent a photo*

This is when the worst happened.

Celeste. Her being violated, drawn pornography of her and Lincoln was showed on her phone. Uncensored. With Lynn and Lars, loud house canon genderbents, watching and getting off in the front.

Celeste dropped her phone. Her family was out. She began to shake. Cry. Scream. Tear at her skin. Sobbing and crying hysterically, couldn’t take it anymore. She ran to the kitchen. Threw open the drawer. Grabbed the biggest knife she could find.

She tearfully ran back into her room. She turned off the lights and closed her curtains.

But grabbed a pencil and some paper and began writing.

Dear family,

Let me just explain why you are in this unfortunate situation. As you know, I love the loud house and I began to go on a site called tumblr. I found many sweet and lovely friends on there. Let me just give out their names because I really want my beautiful friends to thrive through this horrible time. They are: queenbean03, fangirl20, brighteronthesunnyside, adh2d, vanillafrappelatte, transfairycosmo, loud-siblings-against-loudcest, thebigcrunchone9, asknightvaleandgravityfalls, underratedhero, phandomtrashnumerouno, spectrumbunny, skwhy, sourbetes, thecyancat, summeroverdrive, hadenohade, kirby-universe, doctorgalaxy101, wonderingaboutwander, lifeismarvelous, tamamajasper, animatedtrash4, Adrianacartoonfangirl, and many other beautiful souls and friends. I’m so sorry this happned. I was going through tumblr and I started to get bullied. First it was insults, then name calling, then death and suicide threats, then drawn porn of me. Tell Caleb (my brother, 6), Ariel (sis, 5), grandma, and the family and my friends that I love them. I love you guys so much, but I can’t take this anymore. Love, Celeste.

She raised the knife over herself. And.. *thump*.

“Celeste! We’re home!” Celeste’s mother Jennifer called out. They brought home cheese pizza, which they knew she loved. They also noticed that she hasn’t been coming out of her room lately and looked noticeably sad. They got some pizza to make her happy again.

“Hmmm. Why are all the lights off?”

Celeste’s dad, Rich, shrugged.

“Maybe she wanted some dark.”

“Yeah, but all of them?”

“Yeah that’s weird. Caleb, go wake up your sister.”

“Okay!!!” Caleb was Celeste’s little brother. He can be a handful, but he’s still her brother. He, like his sister, has autism, adhh, ocd, and is in general very hyper but still loving.

He ran to her door and opened it.

She was laying on the floor.

Caleb ran out to tell their mom.

“Mom, Celeste is sleeping on the floor!”

Jennifer laughed. “You’re so silly Caleb. I’ll go get her.”

She walked over to her door. And screamed.

Laying on the floor, was her daughter Celeste. Dead.

“What the???!?!

She looked closer.. and gasped.

A knife was in her head.

She then saw, this was self-inflicted. Suicide.

-month later-

It was a dark and depressing day in South Carolina. Raindrops covered the graveyard like grass covering land. Despite it being summer everyone felt a chill inside their hearts.

"We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of daughter Celeste B. She was a wonderful spirit and lovely girl. But then the harsh pain of evil came over her in despair. May we all come together and this heavenly soul rest in peace. And may the world have peace in future cyberbullying to stop. And for acts of hate against this lady and other victims of cyberbullying to decrease quickly. Amen.”

It was a shame. Love will be found in all the right places. May we come together and figure out that what you say can have a impact on someone’s life. I am glad I never killed myself. I am strong but weak. Beautiful yet fragile. Loving yet fearless. Now what would you react if this actually happned and I did commit sucide? Love yourself and choose your ways carefully. Love eachother and find peace. I am strong for staying. Don’t give up for light or life. You are loved, my love.

[lady-cray]

How a humorous post reminded me of the day I finally stood up for myself.

So I'm scrolling down a humor blog, and they have this post about "When your girl says do whatever you want." And suddenly I remembered that one time I got so sick and tired of my mom not even letting me go to the store at the corner of the block alone because of something or other. Like seriously, she wouldn't even let me get my own groceries, I was a 16 y/o young adult who had to pay her own mother rent because I refused to stop working and focusing on school. I mean, sure, school was a priority, but I had good grades and here in Mexico knowing English is huge! So when a lady in the street heard me and my sister trash talking eachother in perfect English, she offered us both a job, my sister was 14 at the time so she could do it but I was 16 and was alright, and I thought, what better way to get a head start in life and get a feel of real responsibility than to take the offer. She walked with us the two blocks to the office building and gave me the interview and I was hired on the spot. I was so excited I took my sister out for a burger, but when we got to the restaurant my sister was really upset,and when I asked her why, she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said. "mom's going to be pissed, and I don't want her to hurt you." I shit you not, I broke out in a cold sweat. We hadn't ordered yet so I stood up grabbed my sister and left the establishment. My mother was really.... Strict, let's leave it at that. So I was rightly terrified of her finding out I had gone out of my way and got myself a job. Years later I have no idea how I even managed to aquire my paperwork from her when she litterally kept it under lock and key. I was probably in the clear for about a week or two before she found out I had a job. She was furious, I mean shit was flying at my head, and she was demanding I quit because women didn't work, women focused on their education in order to get a good husband. But I told her I wouldn't because this was the the 21st century and women could work and get a good education, the tooth I lost was totally worth it. Fast forward a couple of weeks and the beginning of my last school year comes, I went to work like normal and told them about school and they went ahead and made a new schedule for me to take to school so that they could be aware I had places to be after-school. I was a good student so my last class of the day my teacher allowed me to change out of my uniform and on to regular close for the whole period that way I could just head out when the bell rang and take the bus that left me at work. When I got home that day my mom was beyond mad, and since I insisted I could manage both an education and a job she demanded pay her rent and gave her money for my groceries. The look on her face when I handed over 1k(about 100 USD more or less, the exchange rate was about 1usd = 11.59mxn or something) like it was nothing was both amusing and heart pounding. So from that moment on I was paying her rent and everything, but still had to ask permission. A few months later I met this annoying asshole, who I now call my husband, and we hit it off, he'd ask my on dates and I'd meet him after-school on my days off, and sometimes he would pick me up at school and we'd ride the bus together. My mother was completely fine with this, until we fast forward a year later and she sees that he hasn't discouraged me from leaving my job, instead he's encouraged me to take a year off from school before I go study a carrier(education here is weird no such thing as college, you wanna study law right after high-school, go for it just take your tests and your in). So I did, I took some time off and focused hard on my work. I focused so hard I forgot that my mom was apparently the boss of me and I stopped asking for permission and instead just started telling her I would be home late, and sometimes not even that. I figured since I was paying rent, and she was treating me all... Punto y aparte, i was off the hook. She confronts me about me being my own boss and telling me I live under her roof and stuff, and the wool had been ripped from my eyes for some time now and I had to fight down the urge to tell her that technically she was living under mine, because though the contract was in her name, I was the one paying rent, utilities and groceries. But whatever right I sucked it up. This went in for another year and I still wasn't back at school. I was legal now and some friends from work were taking me out to the old part of town where all the clubs were at and I knew I would be home late as frak and so drunk I would be lucky if I still remembered my own name much less where I lived. So as I was getting off work I called home and asked my mom if I could go, she obviously said no, but I really wanted to go and tried to convince her, finally after about ten minutes of me litterally begging to go to my own birthday bash, I'd had about enough, she screamed at me to "Do whatever the f*ck I wanted." I have no idea what possessed me to say "Fine I'll see you tomorrow, don't wait up." before I hung up the phone. It took me about a minute for me to realize I was a dead women walking, but it was said and done and I never back down, so I sucked it up and partied. But I was still too chicken to go back home so I called my husband (then boyfriend) and he called a cab for me and let me stay at his place. His mom bullied my nonstop the next morning as she made breakfast and she sent me off to work. So I get home that night, keep in mind I had been gone for practically two days now and I get home and all hell had broken loose. I'll cut this part short and say it ended in my standing up to my mother and in turn getting kicked out of the house. Thing is, as soon as my shit was out the house and on the asphalt, I felt like this emence weigh was lifted off my shoulders. I called my husband, told him what happened and he picked me and my stuff up and took me to his parents again. The next day he found me a house and I moved, a year later he moved in. And I sort of realized that... I was my own personal outside of my mother's grip. And that... parents aren't always there for your, sometimes they're the people holding you back. So stick up for yourselves kids, it may seem hard, I know it really is, but afterwards it's worth it. Being able to discover your own person is the most incredible feeling in the world. It's a scary process to begin, but the ending is worth everything.

[rfassholes]

Hey Gray! I love your blog :D I was wondering if you could do this request: RFA+Minor trio reacting to MC's and their own child being bullied in front of them (like maybe the bullies didn't see them RIGHT THERE) for being chubby but the daughter/son is like really chill and hits them with a 'I'm used to it it's ok' thank you :DD I'll request more now!! Good luck with your blog and excuse my english lolol

Hey now, you’re an all star I’m so sorry nobody is allowed to apologize for their English on this blog. You’re really good with it, so don’t worry at all! English is a bitch to learn, and if anyone judges you I will f i g h t. Also, no matter how many other blogs I’ve seen in the past, I still don’t know who makes up the minor trio. I’ve seen it mentioned a lot, and I always assumed it’s Jaehee, V, and Saeran. If it’s someone else, I’ll gladly write for them, too! (Dialogue of fat-shaming in Jaehee’s. Just a heads up!)

Yoosung:

He had to pick up your kid from school one day because he got off from work early

Yoosung drove there just a little too early when he saw your child getting harassed by three other kids

oh no

nonononono

Instead of just driving up, he parked that damn car and walked up

Just far enough so they thought he was a highschooler  even if hes older hes still small you can fight me on this

Once he was in earshot, his only thought was how dare they

The things they were saying were downright disgusting to him

Yoosung walked right up and tapped one of them on the shoulder

“Hey there buddy boy, I’m going to ask, no, tell you to kindly leave and never speak to my child again”

Your kid just kinda bip bopped along with him after he turned to leave after the kids had given half-hearted apologies

“Hey, Dad?” “What? Do you want ice cream? We can go. If you want to talk, we can do that, too” “I just wanted to say that you didn’t need to do that. What they said is pretty normal for me”

oh hell no

Yoosung just nodded slightly “But it doesn’t have to be” “It’s just like that, but can we still get ice cream?” “Yep! Just don’t tell, MC!” “Will you promise not to tell them about my school either? I don’t want them worried, since you seem to be”

So they went out to a small shop that wasn’t too far away from your home and talked about animals

Then once they got home, you could see him looking concerned at your child when the put their bag from school up

He went to his office and typed out an email

Turns out, he got the three kids suspended

PTA Dad Yoosung won’t stand for that shit

Didn’t tell MC because he promised

Zen:

You can’t tell me he’s not a PTA dad either

Sure, practice sometimes doesn’t allow him to go to every meeting

But you know he’s ready to fight Nancy at the bake sale because what were those brownies, Jesus, Nancy

aNYWAYS, you both had to go to one of those lame ass schools fairs

you couldn’t say no to your kid because those puppy eyes reminded you of Zen’s

You were waiting in line for food while Zen was buying tickets for things and you let your child go off with their friends

Then the yelling started dAMMIT, ZEN

“How dare you talk to my child like that?” “Well, um, sir-” “No, I’m not hearing it from you, young man” “I want to say-” “Not you either, young lady!”

Zen walked back with your kid in tow and he was fuming

“MC! Can we leave? There’s much better food at the restaurant we passed” “Only if you tell me what happened, because it looks like our daughter is perfectly fine” “No, she is nOT. They were making fun of her weight! How dare they insult our princess” “Zen, You sound like a script right now, calm down”

Your child just mumbled, “Well, that’s what happened during school anyways”

Turning around so quickly that you got bitch-slapped by his hair, he looked at your kid

He was n o t having this shit

“Who cares if you’ve got squish? There’s just more to love! Those kids are douchebags” “Zen-” “As long as you’re comfortable with you, there’s no issue. If you feel bad because of that snotbag, I will find out who his mom is and raise hell” “Zen-” “That one girl looked like her mom runs a drug cartel. I should know, too, because her mom is probably Bethany” “Hyun!”

He turned back towards you flashing a slightly awkward smile

“MC, that boy was a beast”

“Not this again” Well, damn, if your kid is sick of it, he probably should be, too

You ended up leaving after your kid was done with his shit wanted to leave

He may or may not have raised a little hell on the board

Gave a two minute monologue on bullying at the monthly meeting

Jaehee: (Good end and after end spoilers)

Your son liked to hang around the café after school was done with a few friends

He came in one day with several people, a few being ones you recognized

You were taking orders and Jaehee was wiping down tables along with picking up dishes

cue dramatic plate falling when she overheard their conversation

“Maybe your clothes wouldn’t be so big if your  parents didn’t bake so much for you” “He’s right. All those pastries can’t be that great. Especially with how little you do in PE” “Maybe stop eating all of your lun-”

“Excuse me, but who are you, ma’am?” “Just a friend of this kid” “Get out of this café” “Who are you? Where’s the manager?”

“Mom, it’s fi-” “I’m Mrs. Kang, the owner of this establishment, and the disgusting comments you are making are towards my son. Leave”

The girl turned bright red and moved to gather her things

Jaehee’s badass arm stopped her from properly getting up

“I thought it was heavily implied that you were to apologize”

She was downright glaring at this kid

You paused when nobody else was at the counter and turned your attention to what was going down

This look wasn’t even reserved for customers who threw orders at her

Once the girl left after having to repeat her apology several times, all the others followed, trying not to maintain eye contact with Jaehee

She slid in the booth across from your son and had a lengthy discussion about what was wrong for people to say

Jaehee had had enough in her life getting treated awfully, so your kid wasn’t allowed to have any of that

That night, you had to talk her out of fighting that kid

“Jaehee, that’s assault” “MC, it’s justice”

Seven:

He was dicking around with the security system at your kid’s school

It’s not stalking if its not obsessive

The system’s visual aspect may not be strong, but the audio was pretty okay

Seven just wanted to hear what your child was doing after the bell had rung (I had to look up if it was rung or rang just now)

As soon as he heard what a person was saying that was most definitely not your child, he was ready to f i g h t

Your kid came back from school that day and went to greet him

He may or may not have turned around in an office chair dramactically

“So who’s Jun Ho? He sounds like a real biiiii-I mean, jerkwad” “How do you know who he is? He’s in one of my classes.” “Some teacher emailed me saying he was being rude to you. Making remarks on your appearance or something” “Oh, yeah, he does that a lot. It stopped bugging me awhile ago”

Red Alert: How About No?

“He shouldn’t be saying things like that in the first place. Why do you even talk to him?” “Jun Ho gives me food” “As much as I love food, you should never be degraded to get it” “But it’s soda, and I can’t take that to school” “You won’t get in trouble if no one finds out. That’s besides the point. Can you please drop that douuu-um, that trashcan? You don’t deserve to be told anything that’s negative about yourself that isn’t constructive”

Your kid just tried to assure him that It’s Fine, Dad but it most definitely Was Not

So then he went into every social media account he could find of Jun Ho’s and left some lovely messages and photos for the kid to find later

Jumin:

you know this motherfucker sent your kid to a private school

He didn’t realize that not every person would be magically nice to eachother

Just let him believe

Jumin was content with that for awhile until The Incident

Your son was walking back into your home as he was video chatting people at a party

For some reason, their conversation dropped off to what sports people were playing and some dumbass in the background made a rude remark to your kid

Jumin walked over and took the phone from your son’s hand and got the attention of the teenagers

holy shit, that was the dude that their parents made those important business deals with

that suit is probably worth more than all my organs

damn, he looks like he’s about ready to fail all of us in a class

“Please refrain from ever contacting this phone ever again. Your words are unappreciated by myself”

Your son was desperately trying to mute him repeating that it was all okay

Jumin was still drilling these kids

“Furthermore, it is not any of your business to inquire about an individual’s health whatsoever. I will have you make good note that everything in this household is meticulously organized, so no, you’re not ‘concerned for his health’ or any other excuse that is as incompetent as yourselves. Have a good evening”

Sassy Jumin snapping that hang up button

Then he held out the phone to your son that took it nervously

“You’re never to speak to them again” “Dad, I-” “No, it is absolutely not fine. You will not be told that just because you’re not of the bare minimum weight, that you are any less of a human being. You are to be respected. If you are to speak to any of your classmates, please inform them that all business deals with their families will end soon.”

He most definitely called all of their parents that evening to tell them of these changes

Blocked every number he could

Also made sure that any future advertisements that were made by any department were to be inclusive of plus-size models

V:

There was a new museum and he was invited to attend it’s opening with his family

No way this Cotton Candy Man could say no when your daughter got excited at the mention of an artist she loved that was to have an exhibit showcased

Everyone had gotten dressed up for the occasion, including V in a snazzy I’m so sorry that I use that word suit, yourself in comfortable formal wear, and your daughter wearing a tighter blouse with a skirt

What she wore didn’t bug you or Jihyun, whatever made her the most loving to herself was fine by you

The three of you had walked in and were walking around to greet other guests and enjoy hors d'oeuvres

Your daughter walked off to admire the paintings until who you recognized as one of her fellow students walked up to her

There was no use in eavesdropping so you continued to walk as V walked into the room of the pieces

He honestly didn’t notice them until he could hear your child’s voice

Then he noticed what the other party was saying

Calm Dad walked over to them and apologized for his interruption in the conversation to tell off the student for what they were saying about your daughter’s outfit

“Hey, Dad, Mi Na wasn’t bothering me” “Then she was bothering me. Mi Na, please refrain from speaking negatively about my daughter’s appearance in the future. I assure you that whatever clothing she wishes to wear will not effect you”

You looked over to see the “Bitch, you ain't shit” smile on his face and got interested to see what was going on

He explained to you the situation then spoke to your daughter again with a short lecture on Why She Was Perfect and Why People Suck

Got the girl kicked out from the museum afterwards

To make it up, even though “It was fINE, DAD,” V was able to get artwork from the artist your daughter was so excited to see

Saeran:

this one’s going to do with an ice cream parlor I’m sorry

He agreed to go on a family outing as long as the crowds weren’t too big

Hey, if you made it this far, don’t mess it up

To his favorite ice cream parlor first!

None of you cared if it was eleven am

It was always time for ice cream

While you three were waiting in line, your child noticed that the person scooping was the dickbag of an upperclassman that had been harassing them for a couple of weeks

Saeran noticed how they acted and offered to get a table with them so that it would fit into conversation easily

They nodded and went with them so that he could ask what happened

Your kid told him that the boy at the counter was giving him shit for his weight and that “It’s perfectly fine”

Then Saeran was p i s s e d

He assured them that they were perfectly fine as long as they liked themselves

Saeran then offered for them to go back in the line where you were ordering your food

Your child was slightly anxious as to what he’d do to the worker

He glared at that upperclassman so strongly that you thought he had killed Saeran’s joy in life

Considering how much Saeran loved his new family, he pretty much did, so the kid deserved to be scared for half a minute

He then smiled at you when you handed a cone to him and you sat down with the three of you eating happily

Saeran noticed the glances he was getting but didn’t mind them

He glared at the kid again for good measure when he held open the door

I’m sorry that this took me so long! Also, no offense if your name is Nancy or Bethany. They’re just my go to PTA Mom names. I’m going to try to get at least two requests up each day. I hope that this was to your satisfaction, but I’ll happily fix anything if you see fit. Much love to you all!