#we have to aknowledge what else was going on at the time and we cant just pretend it isn't happening

[phatcatphergus]

While I definitely see how this feels out of nowhere to how qTubbo was feeling, I feel like assuming it was all done to "calm down twitter" and "appease to chat" takes away agency from ccTubbo. He could've just turn down Fred's attempts at reconnecting based on how his character felt, but he didn't. The admin and him noticed a communication issued that wasn't supposed to happen and altered it (doesn't work well with the rp but oh well)

Sure they could've gone about it in a different and more natural way, all your criticisms are really valid. I just don't get why you're mad at twitter/chat as if this isn't a Tubbo choice, he could've just not done it, he wasn't obligated to.

Sorry this isn't supposed to be mean or anything I'm just confused cause this is very clearly something the cc wants, isn't wasn't executed in the best way but at the end of the day it was his choice

Hope you're doing well thought !! English isn't my first language hopefully this sounds fine

No worries nonnie! I always appreciate it and I totally see where you are coming from.

The reason I say the main reason they did this because of chat/twitter is because of how Twitter/chat treated ccTubbo both last night and today. There were a LOT of people that convinced Tubbo that he read the book wrong and then forgot his own lore because he's dyslexic and forgetful. They called him dumb and blamed the whole thing on him when it was a mutual miscommunication.

The thing is that we ALL read the letter the same exact way and we ALL came to the same conclusions so dogpiling Tubbo into thinking HE messed up is absolutely unacceptable.

Now this goes into how the lore played out today. ccTubbo is a grown man who can make decisions himself, that is 100% true. The problem lies in Tubbo making decisions that he wants to make if that makes sense. He has a history of putting his own wants aside to play games that chat enjoys over something he would enjoy more. He's said as much on his alt streams. So for basically all of Twitter and his chat to say that he fucked up, bully him, and straight up call him dumb and that the whole thing was his fault, its not impossible for him to feel like its easier to just go with what chat wants or do smth to fix it and make up for "causing this problem" in the first place.

Also, even though they can fix the miscommunication issue through rp, there's no reason to do it NOW and there's no reason to do it how they did it today. This is a main reason I think it's a "fix-it" for Twitter.

Everything was rushed, OOC, and the whole thing with Ramon knowing Fred was at Tubchunk, Sunny immediately having the tea part reason and tubbo checking the tab list the second Fred logged on makes me think it was planned and planned quickly. There was no reason for Fred to visit or even hear rumors of Tubbo misunderstanding his letter because qtubbo didn't even know he misunderstood it!

At the end of the day, lore and rp and what goes on behind the scenes are more subjective to people than objective. I've just been watching Tubbo for a while and the treatment he's received paired with his past comments brought me to this result.

[ladycatland]

I love the direction tommys story is taking because. Like.

Him being exiled and all was about breaking down his character, right? His character is defined by many things but the two main bits are

Absolute freedom and doing what he wants (stabbin shit and stealing like a dirty crimeboy)

And his friends.

And before those two parts were always mixing very well! He would do anything for his friends especially Tubbo.

He gave up his disks for Lmanberg, sure, but he didnt give up his disks. He was always planning on getting them back. The compromises he makes are temporary and the whole duel with dream thing shows that his freedom is more precious than even his life in the long run.

And since his exile both of those things got pretty fucked.

He lost his friends (not LOST lost his friends but isolation took that very defining part of that character and gave him no real way to fullfill his need for companionship

And in an attempt to earn it back he restricted his freedom. He couldve gone anywhere else but he'd have even less companionship there and he was already miserable with the limited one he had in logsted.

And when he became even more miserable he doubled down on that, not consciously but still. In his attempt to hold onto the minimal "friendship" he got from dream he gained nothing and made things worse by giving up the one thing he actually had control over: being free

Now we all saw how that culminated into him being... Yknow...

Which is accurate btw. Whenever people irl suppress a part of themself to gain praise or acceptance or something else from other people they usually just become more miserable in the long run.

But then he had his little moment on the tower and like. Yeah. He cant actually do anything to get friendship or company because he has to rely on others for that. What he can do by himself though is doing what he does best. Being a bug on Dreams wall. And we see him get back some of his pep IMMEDIATELLY. And of course he does! There are two things that make him happy. Freedom and friends. And while he cant change the friend-o-meter being at zero, he can stick it to the man (aka green godcomplex) and while he might not be happy he is happier because maybe he doesnt have both of those things but he has one and thats better than neither.

And like yeah! You go racoonboy! Youve been too miserable too long you take whatever happyness you can get and you hold onto it! And if Dream kills you for it at least you die as you lived, annoying him more than anyone else on that server!

Go live in your brothers walls! Steal his shit! This is the time to be selfish and just minimally make life harder for the people ignoring you until they either give up or are forced to aknowledge your existence!

If you cant live for your friends just live for pettiness against the green man that wants to see you break! Live out of pure spite!!

Even if the disks dont matter go get them anyways and have them all just because you can!! And dont you dare listen to the green bitch ever again!!!

MAKE HIM WATCH YOU THRIVE

[icecreamkink]

so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe 

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence ....  but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad 

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that 

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured. 

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot”  that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird. 

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN 

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

 the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute  

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased  

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong! 

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid 

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene 

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit 

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve  done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better 

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT 

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that? 

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK 

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is       

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation,  and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like   Like them, as in, personality wise 

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues, 

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

 demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

 carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon, 

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast 

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory        miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying! 

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

 and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses? 

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

 tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :( 

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that    but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting??   ?  ??    ??        ?                ?    ?          ??                  ?    ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture...  uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@  johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart. 

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY 

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out 

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

 ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd 

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!

[pandylovepost]

what are your headcanons for andy and panchos relationships with the other characters in the kingdom? ❤❤❤ I love your blog!!

ohhh i love this question & tysm!! 🧡

it ended up being rlly long so here’s the cut ;)

Pancho

•Julien; Julien is like a brother or cousin to Pancho! He trusts the king more than anything after Julien basically saved .. well himself, but also him. any scheme Julien comes up with that he knows Maurice wouldnt approve of, he’ll go to pancho

•Maurice; maurice has a kind of wary vibe around Pancho ever since Pancho suggested eating him on the sub in exiled. he’s suspicious of him mainly because he wants to protect Julien tho, & he cant shake that Pancho is (or was) a sleeper agent programmed with the sole purpose of killing his best friend so

•Clover: Pancho is kinda cautious around clover since she’s always round the corner ready to bust him & Andy’s schemes. when it comes down to it they DO work together as they aknowledge each others skillsets. literally pancho is the only lemur (from the kingdom) who’s beaten Clover in combat. just once though.

•Mort; Pancho just......aknowlegdes his existance. he’s there i guess. doesn’t find mort as terrifying & creepy as the average citizen but Panch has probably seen worse. or he just doesn’t care. mort also does crimes so theyre just aware of each other.

•Becca & Abner; he’s kinda friends with them cus Andy’s friends with them. he goes round to deliver them stuff sometimes like moonshine or weapons from Andy. He probably shouldn’t pay too much attention to their government conspiracy theories though, they tend to really freak his paranoid ass out

•Timo; Timo is scared of Pancho or at least wary. He admittadly would like to study him tho & Panch is often a great help to him doing manual labour for any of Timo’s big projects

•Masikura; she mindmelded with him once & swore never again. she just doesn’t wanna know.

•Ted; Ted has a lil crush on Pancho (he’s one of Ted’s many crushes) & Panch will lightly flirt with him sometimes when he’s in the mood to. Pancho will bicker & grouch with him but they are really tight friends especially after their time together during exiled.

•Dorothy; at first she saw Pancho as this ideal bad boy type, but then realised how bad he smells cus he hates bathing. She’ll offer him tea like she does with everyone & (begrudingly often) lets him crash with her & Ted when they all stumble back drunk after a night out. Literally her & Ted both just have a mutual crush on Pancho is that not canon though

•Willie; despite being mean to Willie like EVERYONE ELSE IS Pancho and Willie are quite good friends. He’ll go stay with him whenever he’s worried about something cus he knows Willie will understand. sometime’s he’s too panicky for Pancho to be around though cus it sets him off

•Hector; I WANT THEM TO BOND OVER MILITARY HARDSHIPS & EXPERIENCE I THINK IT WOULD BE HELPFUL & HEALING FOR THE BOTH OF THEM! I should write about this sometime..........

•Horst; the DJ friend who he can always have a crazy sesh with; they actually get along pretty good. except when Pancho’s out here stealing his bolos. Like with everyone, Horst just rambles to Pancho when he’s drunk.

•Tammy, Butterfish & Todd; no real connection to them besides that him & Butterfish will often do the same jobs. They usually just make casual work chat. Tammy thinks Pancho is posessed by demons but he doesn’t let that phase him.

•Karl: he’s not rlly a “kingdom citizen” but he’s about there enough so. anyway Pancho just doesn’t treat Karl like the evil genius villain he portrays at all, since Pancho’s own morality is in the grey area, which kinda infuriates Karl that Pancho just talks to him like hes a normal person. he wants Julien’s people to FEAR HIM!!

•Dr. S; Absolutely not. they don’t even really have a friendship of any kind & Pancho is terrified of going to see the doctor as Dr. S literally experiments on lemurs...he’s not about that after what happened with the previous king.......Andy often has to drag him to the hospital kicking & biting to get him to go to checkups

•Nurse Phantom; u know what they’ve never interacted in canon but I think Nurse Phantom senses how troubled & anxious he is & takes a lot of time to talk to Pancho like if ever Andy or anyone else manages to drag him to the hospital, Rob will hold his hand if it comes to it; he goes into major helpful mode like offering him fruit & telling him he’s gonna be alright. He’ll also scold him for getting into so many dangerous scrapes & tells him he’s gotta look after himself!

Andy

•Julien; for some reason Julien just refuses to exile him even after all the bad shit he’s done BUT i think that’s because Andy is overall helpful to him like he ignores all the weirdness for example when they walked in on him & that rat holding a body wrapped in leaves because hey! we need tropheys Andy fast! thats the issue here!! perhaps its Julien’s awful adhd memory though & he just genuinely forgets. Julien is close with Pancho of course so Andy’s been round to the plane for parties & dinner as Pancho’s +1 of sorts— heck even he can be “polite” when he has to be.

•Maurice; Momo hates him. hates him hates him theres no turning back. i mean its hard not to when most of the citizens suffer from rediculous lemur stupidity & ur the only one who can see through this bat when he’s just standing there chatting shit. Very suspicious of Andy— plus he just thinks he’s creepy

•clover; LMAO bUT .....like obviously she hates him for good reason. but i do have this hc that’s way too long to write out that after Julien, Maurice & Mort literally fucked off to go with the zoosters in madagascar 2 Clover was literally responsible for two kingdoms cus she couldnt just leave them with a gecko in charge. I just want some situation where theres a proper twist & Andy ends up mellowing the hell out & actually being useful to her & the kingdom...he has skills but he uses them for nefarious reasons. She’d probably save his life somehow in the post-Julien chaos & he’d b like....”why would YOU of all people save ME?” n she’d b like... “well you are technically a citizen of this kingdom and ....i’ve gotta make sure you’re ALL safe for when ..... if King Julien ever gets back.....”

•mort; ??? sometimes theyre legit business partners. Mort can get in on a good scam. that second rub’s gonna cost ya. theyve probably been in the same prison before at one point. Mort’s so old.

•Becca & Abner; his fellow anti-establishment pals!! he doesn’t fully believe all of their ideas & theories but he loves em cus they’ll always buy self defence scorps off him. They get along & they drink a lot together by the stagnant watering hole. they’ve seen Andy in horrible states; all 3 of them are an idiot squad when theyre together. Becca & Andy argue a lot cus even she thinks some of the things he says are wack sometimes

•Timo; i have this hc that Timo, Andy & Karl knew each other when they were kids they kinda bonded together during school cus they were three non-lemur losers who got bullied for their eccentricity & varying levels of intelligence. Timo will sometimes go to Andy for stuff but he is his last resort really

•Masikura; probably mindmelded with him once & just saw a vision of him daydreaming about being kissed by Pancho & since then she was like. “Im not scared of the bird demon he’s just a big softie. where is my shipment of “ect” for my tea, that bird demon’s late again—“

•Ted; Ted is such an easy mark he can sell almost anything to him if he’s cheery enough. Helps that Ted thinks he’s really cute so Andy can just easily sweet talk him into buying whatever dodgy product he’s got at the moment. he knows & interacts with Ted mainly through Pancho being his friend!

•Dorothy; rlly wild hc actually that Dorothy used to be a propper crime don before she settled down with Ted— or when Ted was shifting into Snake more frequently back in the day for whatever reason—so Andy knows her from the criminal underworld. Cus of this he’s very respectful towards her... he’s seen what she’s capable of

•Willie; Andy could walk round the corner with his wings outstretched & say “boo” & Willie would pass out from shock. He’s also very easy for Andy to sell to- his fearmongering really works on Willie he’s very suseptable to it

•Hector; Hector doesn’t take any of Andy’s crap he’d probably just hit him with a broom if he came round his hut to sell him dodgy hand cream honestly

•Horst; Andy keeps him topped up with a steady supply of beverages...........Horst will actually sometimes ask him & Pancho for help with importing various new vinyl records

•Tammy, Butterfish & Todd; that family buys a LOT of product off him since they’re just typical americans basically he finds it rlly easy & reliable to sell stuff like drinks & toys to them. Tammy kinda hates Andy though & like Pancho, thinks he’s a demon. Doesn’t help that Mort nicknamed him “bird demon”.

•Karl; like with Timo i hc he knew him when they were in highschool—! Karl found Andy infuriating & so annoying though & didn’t consider him a friend at all. a lot of his early lazer guns were born from Karl’s growing need to shoot Andy out of the sky cus he’d fly up to get out of reach of his claws when he’d annoyed him.

•Dr. S; i hc that Andy and Dr.S are business or trading partners of sorts but they keep it very lowkey. Andy probably handles hits and the crazy snake doctor requires bodies and “test subjects” for his manic experiments. Andy is the perfect guy for the job! When Nurse Phantom is unable, Andy will hide the evidence of Dr.S’ malpractice for a reasonable fee, of course. He dislikes going to checkups himself though— he doesn’t like people knowing too much about him! Plus Dr.S always “””jokes””” about “””studying””” him because he finds the fact Andy is a flying mammal facinating & talks about using Andy’s wings to create a frankenstein flying lemur.

•Nurse Phantom; Rob just lectures him about being reckless & getting into fights everytime he sees him. Kinda the same as Dr. S really, but he does tell him like.. Hey I used to be pretty mean & put people in danger too. And that there’s always time to turn another leaf. Andy usually just scoffs, collects his paycheck, & leaves.

[sundayhasmyheart-blog]

How would you feel?

Not very attractive overall but was enough for me to be noticed by someone that was older than me in high school. I remeber like it was yesterday , we were at the ROTC classroom in a group meeting , me seating at the first chair in attention trying to keep my eyes on whoever was stating the announcement when i cought myself staying at him for a quick second but felt like long minutes , he was painting the door dark blue of the logistic room, he smiled at me and thats when i realized i was starring for the longest. Meeting was over and had to think a quick excuse to go to the logistic room just to see him closer.  All i got to say to him was hi and that was it , it was like having a brain fart, i rushed and left the room & went on to my next class. This was long time ago so i dont quite remember the details but I can still feel how he broke my heart , but not only him but other important people that turned their back on me when i needed them the most. We started to talk more & more everyday , little by little , I knew he was a sigle man now thats why i continued talking to him and allowing myself to fall for him. We then started to make out in every corner in the school , but i never got the chance to sleep with him. Just to feel his hands over me was good enough for me to fel that i was his . I felt like now is my turn to shine & be part of the population of girls that had  the luck to have a boyfriend in high school, i wants a loner anymore , a weirdo anymore at least i felt that way . I was sorrounded by friends but i never considered them mine , always a competition on everythig, who got the best cell phone, the best custom uniform, the shortest skirt, the best body, who got theur boobs or big ass on time in puberty. I knew people talked behind my back once they knew i was with him but they never told me nothing face to face. I felt in love with him so hard i cant even explained but just remember how i felt. And the fact that he didnt asked me to have sex with him was more attracttive to me. I love him for that. Once that i was convince that we were meant for each other , in a summer of my Junior year i was sitting on his lap in the second floor of the school in front of the senior spanish classroom, I saw his ex walking directly to me to ask me if she can have a moment with him because it was urgent , she aknowledge that we were dating , I looked at him waiting for his response & he stared at me & kissed me and promise it will be a short conversation with her , I agreed and let him go out of my side. I still regret that day , that time when i easily lost him , because i didnt insist to be present on their conversation. I technically gave him back to her myself. Strangely all my close friends when to em to check if i was ok , i tried to pretend that it was just a conversation between them , i was so sure he wasnt going back to her. Why would he? He was happy with me & he was misserable with her. But all of my friends had that face that they already knew what was going on but afraid to tell me . They knew how much i loved him & i was holding on on all his promisses, his kisses, his hugs, I can still smell his cologne today and I just want to scream & cry for how stupid i was for falling for him.  Today i am 29 y/o and that happened when i was 16 and it still burns my soul, I can say that has been one of the 3 worse day of my life .   I decided to look for him because it was taking so long , to my surprise they walked right pass me holding hands & he didnt even looked at me for a second. I froze . As i saw them going down the stairs and leave the school I didn’t know how to react. My ears were warmed, my whole body numb, I couldn’t even hear anything else, or think anything else but just remembering how they just pass by like I was nothing, Like he seemed happy and left me aside like a was some object that he didn’t need anymore to feed his recently broken “heart”. Why would men go through all this trouble of making you fall for them, all this energy ? all those words and the timing when to say it, how can a person be capable of that?  make you give your heart delivered to his hands and crush it right in front of your eyes and my reaction was speechless.  I didn’t want for anyone to see me how a break but it wasn’t time to go home so I ran to the back of the school building where there’s no other because no one uses those classrooms and sat at the stairs and cry, my friends found me, later on, to tell me the reason he left with her.  She was having his baby.

[keith-is-not-an-emo]

which fics are you reading atm if you don’t mind sharing? ty!

Oh boy anon, oh boy.

You don’t know what you’ve done.

There will be E rated fics but they won’t solely be smut fics or too extreme.

edit: it seems like you can’t access the post from your dashboard so you have to be on my blog to see it *sighs* good job tumblr, like always.

star-crossed by realfakedoors (or anything they write, you’ll be seeing a lot of that here)

They said, once upon a time, in a faraway land, there was a peaceful and prosperous kingdom, rich in romance and tradition. They said the Prince would host a ball, and choose his spouse, and they would live happily ever after.Well, they lied.

–

Keith is a Prince, and Lance lives with his shitty extended family. Neither of them are very happy, and when they meet, they’re surprised to have so much in common. Strangers, to friends, and then, well…

Meanwhile, Hunk is a sweetheart, Pidge is an iconic asexual, Shiro is a supportive Knight Dad™, Allura isn’t here for anyone’s crap, and there’s some political shit going on that forces them all together.

okay so how do i say it? it might be fave kl fic atm. this is my dirty laundry, my on thin ice. i love eveeery thing about it. i literally drop anything im doing if i see it updated. Also the last chapter? got me Shook.

also i KNOW about that big E rating there but the smut is in only one chap and i think the author marked it so it’s totally complementary and doesn’t add anything to the story so don’t worry.

breakfast on the moon by DairyFarmer (also very very recommended author!!)

Future Prom King, student body president, and all around hottie Lance McClain is abducted from his home in Arizona in 1997.

He is found decades later in the clearance section of an Earth paraphernalia store by the Paladins of Voltron.

another one of my big faves atm. everyone is very attentive of lance which is *clenches fist and wipes tear* very good. also it screams future langst and i cant wait :) (im kind of a langst hoe sorry not sorry)

let’s play pretend and hope it comes true by fevered_dreams

The Kingdom of Altea was quickly heading towards ruin. At least, it had been until the Royal Family’s eldest daughter had been born as an alpha. The people had rejoiced at her birth, and there was hope yet for a new ruler and a future secured. Even the fact that the second Royal Child had been born a beta couldn’t dampen their spirits.

Except Lance was not an beta. He was just an omega, trying his best to keep the charade going with a set of spells, pills, and all the tinctures he could brew because being an omega was dangerous. Being an omega made him something to be had, a rusted tool of barter worth less than scraps in return, and Altea couldn’t afford to let him go.

But, if Lance’s luck would have it, Prince Keith of the Blade wouldn’t mind being lied to too much.

okay okay in my defence, this one STILL doesn’t have smut. only kinda steamy make-out sessions. also don’t let the a/b/o scare you, there is talk about the dynamics but not so much in the sexual way, u’kno?

anything by BleuSarcelle, but if i have to chose one, let’s go with Of Pink Freckles and Green Moles

Lance now can see the boy’s face and he can only stare at the pretty color in the boy’s eyes before he’s suddenly being squished by two hands.

“Papa!” the boy shouts happily back at the adult that makes his way other them hurriedly. The boy hardly notices, still too fixed on squeezing Lance’s cheeks for a second longer before he giggles. “Papa, ugly!”

“Keith, no! Oh my god -”

“Ugly,” the boy repeats obliviously, patting Lance’s cheeks with a proud gleam in his eyes. “Ooh-gly!”

Lance doesn’t know what that word means but for some reason, it makes him cry harder.

[Or the one where Keith and Lance meet when they are two and three years old respectively and spend their entire childhood going through charity contests. Lance says they are rivals, Keith only hears ‘best friends’.]

super cute G kidfic.

Ground Control to Major Tom by yourfavoritetsundre

A year after Keith and Lance have a big falling out, Lance is…well, he’s not missing. He’s fine. He’s just not telling anyone where he is. Keith decides maybe the best way to apologize for being an absolute monster is to track him down.

Following Lance’s path of self-discovery, Keith starts to remember all the things about Lance he had buried years before. Because of the war, because of the Blade, because of Allura. And he starts to realize that maybe he’s to blame for more than he thought.

Meanwhile, Curtis just wants to plan his quiznacking wedding.

post-s8 fic

Written in Sand by MuseofWriting

Lance wakes up in a hospital on Earth to discover he has been missing for four months, with no memory of Voltron or the Galra. Drawn inexplicably to the desert where they found him, he discovers a hut full of research and notes that may provide the key to his missing memories. With secrets and conspiracies surrounding him, and the Garrison potentially hiding far more than he could ever have imagined, Lance grows to trust the notes in the desert - but he may not believe the person who claims he wrote them.

this one has been around for a while (a year to be precise) and i thinks its pretty aknowledged in the fandom but *shrugs* 

until we get there by starlightment

Sometimes his mind is cruel. He’ll wake in the dead of night, drowning in his sweat, choking on his tears. He’ll clutch at old bedsheets until his knuckles fade to white. He’ll shiver in the darkness, and the light blue marks beneath his eyes will start to burn, and his lungs will heave, aching for a breath that just isn’t there.

And sometimes Keith comes to visit.

Those are the best days, Lance thinks.

Those are the days when it’s easiest to breathe.

—

Or: Lance loses himself a little bit, but Keith is there to help him find it again.

post-s8 fic. i think i dont even need to present they author since they’re better know for writing something blue (i heard wonders abt it but havent found the chance to read it yet). also i cant fucking wait for their new fic like im vibrating here on my seat bc i LOVEEEE the trope of jock keith / nerd/prep lance dont judge me

sunflower by xintong (uuh i think i dont have to introduce this author either lmao)

On the morning of their first summer back on Earth, Lance receives a gift of sunflowers. A confession, a rejection, and the passage of time, all leading to the one person who’s always been there for him.

another post-s8 fic because honestly i needed healing at that time okay. super soft and cute and uuughhhh i cant deal

Pretty Ob(li)vious by msmooseberry

Lance loves make-up and being pretty while wearing it. Unfortunately, even in the world where Earth becomes one of the main centres of intergalactic communication and home to many races, his hobbies are still largely frowned upon. He never wanted other cadets at the Galaxy Garrison to find out, especially not his half-Galra crush, but that is exactly what happens. Lance prepares for the hate or ridicule at best, but the reaction he gets is something else entirely. Who knew Galra viewed lilac sparkly lips as a betrothal symbol?

keith finding lance the most beautiful being ever? uuh yeah? gimme that shit

Chestnut And Onyx by MilkTeaMiku (great author too!)

If his eyes weren’t deceiving him, Keith looked a little flushed. He crossed his arms over his chest, wings all puffed up and ruffled like he was preening. “I didn’t know you were that flexible,” he said. And then he looked angry, and his wings puffed up even more, and he stormed away. -Lance thinks his wings aren’t all that pretty, but Keith has other ideas. If only Lance knew.

langst wing-fic. what could i ask more for?

you’re lucky that’s what i like by zenstrike

Lance rescues a hamster from certain doom.

or, Lance has Keith wrapped around his little finger and doesn’t even realize it.

just. take the whole fucking thing. just take it

aaand these are the ones that appear on my feed that have been updated recently since most of them aren’t finished (sowwy). the bad thing about reading a lot of fics and having bad memory is that i already forgot half of my fave fics, probably, lmao.

[teddy-feathers]

@fairy-gothfather alright dude take all this withba grain of salt and do with it what you will

Because i absolutely and positively refuse to see or aknowledge any shit what so ever real or fucking not

However

My moms got some stories and advice and ontop of me just plain wont well got something that might help with the heebie-jeebies

Heads killing me and no one needs half the words im gonna say letta lone the shit i aint but

Essentially

Your will matters when facing fear.

Its not bravery zactly, cause im a coward through and through, it's about... Lets say laying down ground rules.

Its about enforing them.

Its about in a weird way being a parent

Because by the powers that be or arent well that shit aint going to fly in your home/space/ whatever.

Mom says it better but - you are, by virtue of just being yourself and aware of that, meaner than anything else youre going to run into.

Maybe you won't believe/agree with meaner but thats the easiest way for me to feel about it.

Youve got way more presence and will than you think.

Hell even kids making up silly rules - as long as i dont stick my limbs over the side of the bed/ as long as i hold my breath across the room to the light switch/ as long as the covers are over my head the scary thing cant get me

The thing is, the rules are arbitrary because what matters is the will enforcing them. You cant touch me because im putting my all into believing this will protect me.

Now where youre at is... A transitory place and youre unfortunately coming back again and again

But the thing is you get to leave. 2 more hours 4 more 8

Everyday you get to leave and if there was some energy that took notice of you well it has to start over every time you come back. Exhausting. But you come back knowing you can leave replenished.

Leave to a place infused with your will, your family or friends or pets. Nothing else is allowed there.

Kinda like how we're aware when people are in our personal space. We distance ourselves or shove them out.

Ita not allowed. And youll protect your space.

At home and your personal bubble.

If its all in your head no biggy da, if its a little creeper than that or even a shit ton bad feeling you just gotta be aware - youre not gonna let it get in yourspace.

Nothing can really honestly occupy the same space as another person. So. Scared or not the absolute worst anything can do is be fucking furious at you. But. You're in a transient space with a lot of other people who bring their own energy and stir things up and generally are just more interesting and in better places than you.

Youre just there a lot more and some days noticing or being noticed is going to be easier.

But. Really just remind yourself your fear can do whatever it wants like an attention seeking child. You dont have to give it that attention if you don't want to. And if you do give in and pay attention nothings going to happen because its just a feeling. And you're aware of your feelings but ultimately in control of them. Just like youre aware of other peoples feelings but they dont have to necessarily effect you if you can be mindful and not let it.

And if things do get overwhelming remembering itll pass helps.

Like. Sorry to ramble and i tend to... Edge my bets of belief and not wanting anything to do with the whole shebang but. Without getting more specific and telling you some stories from mom and me both this is the best my tired mind can do.

And stories are great examples but... Idk how well they convey the explanation of like. What to do about.

Especially when most of my answer is to just. Nope away from the possibility in the first place

Tl;dr tell it to fuck off and it prob will. If not itll make you feel a little better and thats just as good in the short and long run regaurdless of reality vs overactive fear drive.

[tumblunni]

Man, god, im just suddenly thinking about "ak/ur/oku" and like.. How the fuck did that even become such a huge thing in early 2000s fandom? Dear god so much early gay shipping in fandom was super unhealthy "sinful" bullshit made by straight people for fetishy purposes rather than genuine representation. But a/kurok/u was such a weird one because it was like.. Just globally accepted and never aknowledged to be problematic?? Man i still remember how lil 13 year old me didnt know there was anything wrong with it, like seriously when stuff like this becomes popularized it ends up sending bad messages to actual queer youth. Learning about your sexuality via the internet cos there's no sex ed irl for you, abd you end up stumbling into toxic fandoms before you have the critical thinking skills necessary to know that this stuff is bad and shouldnt be imitated. Like seriously one of the things i worry about EVERY NIGHT AT 2AM THAT KEEPS ME FROM SLEEPING is that stupid lil 15 year old me made a post on deviantart going like "are pedophiles really all bad? I mean it sounds like an illness. I mean maybe theyre just scared and they want help." Like im terrified constantly that someone will find that old thing and judge me as if i still believe that apologist crap, or as if it was actually an opinion i formed from a fully developed mind, rather than from a kid who (as far as i knew) had never met a pedophile, thinking about pedophiles in the abstract, while being influenced by fuckin pedophile-dominated fandoms and having NO IDEA. and of cooooourse i wanted to believe that i was mature for my age, i thought that was a compliment.. Uuuuugh...

Sorry, going a little offtopic there.

But anyway isnt it kinda weird how akur/oku was just.. Not even regarded as pedophilia? And when i was a kid it wasnt just me not understanding the gross parts of the fandom, i legit never thought axel was that much older than roxas. And it was one of the more popular gay ships cos at that point as far as we knew it was the only person axel had any sort of backstory with, and he cared so much about this guy that he was willing to sacrifice his life to help sora even when he knew roxas would never come back. At the time without further context it seemed like a reasonable assumption to make? And it wasnt until Days that i realized axel was intended to be an adult rather than a teenager, and even worse A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO MADE THAT SHIPPING ART KNEW THAT. Uuugh it was so gross in retrospect to go back and see all the clues i missed that these people were fetishizing roxas's inexperience and veey much writing him as underage. AAAAAAA!

Anyway im glad that shit is now recognized as shit and now we have canon evidence of this dude being old as balls. And honestly i love the relationship of him as a big brother/dad to roxas and xion a lot more, even though as a kid i was desperate for any kind of queer representation in kh. Like.. I never really actually liked the ship that much or felt any chemistry? I just latched onto a few bad writing flubs that could potentially be interpreted as Gay Evidence because i was SO damn desperate! Like i felt like i had to support all these gross abusive ships in fandom cos if i wasnt then i was being 'homophobic', i mean they were THE ONLY AVAILABLE OPTIONS, right? :( Its only now ive grown up i can see how wrong that was, and how people just used it as an excuse to make gross shit and get away with it. Like how in Black Butler all these 'yaoi fangirls' kept erasing the rarest of rare things, a canon trans woman, because 'its sexier if its gay'. Ughhhh. And seriously that discourse still exists for poor Grell, and there's still a lot of these shitty bigoted people pretending to be allies, but like seriously this was EVERYWHERE in 2005! And lgbt rights and even lgbt communities at all were way smaller and less available to the poor teenagers who really needed that positive influence while they were figuring out who they are. So man the abusive side of yaoi fandom was WAY more powerful, and wya more.mainstream, with barely any criticism. And the whole content of this fandom was creepy fuckin adults making pedo porn, and kids who just discovered they were queer and tried to headcanon their favourote characters as being like them. Fucking predator heaven! So yeh that ruined KH for me and definately made me scared of returning to Black Butler for almost a decade. And then i found out that the manga itself has none of that pedo shit and that one of the fandom's biggest abusive gay man archetypes was actually a trans woman this entire time, and just gahhhhh....

Also like seriously this is a tad offtopic but can we kill the anime trope of either everyone looking young or everyone looking old? Or creepy things where just one character looks the wrong age in order to fetishize pedophilia? I dont think kingdom hearts was one of those intentional ones, like i mean there's super bad shit where its like 'this 5 year old looking person is really 9000 years old/actually 18 and just hasnt had their growth spurt yet' (somehow its even more insulting when theres not even a magical excuse) Or the other way around and we have a character thats canonically underage but drawn looking sexually mature with big ol knockers so its somehow okay. The existence of those horrible things is why i end up feeling uncomfortable even seeing ambiguous ages as just a trope in completely innocent anime, yknow? Like in pokemon and digimon all the 10 year old protagonists are exactly the same height as all the adults, and all the female love interests for ash have to be early bloomers in terms of chest and hips, while notably Iris is the only one who actually looks her age and also the first non love interest. Its another reason why i prefer the new art style for the latest season, they make everyone look like kids and Lillie continues to look like a kid even though she's the main girl and has all the cute scenes with Ash. The girls even got very normal looking kiddy swimsuits in the beach episode! Why is that so uncommon, to find the bare minimum thing of underage kids not being sexualized at the beach??

Soooooo yeah, thats at least part of why kid me thought axel and roxas were within a similar age range. Like i thought roxas was maybe 16 and axel was 18?? Somehow?? I dont even know, kingdom hearts isnt even SUPER bad with the 'kids look like older teens,all adults look like age 20 at the most' anime syndrome. Its probably more because id been raised on games and anime that followed that trope, before i played kh. And as a kid you just dont really know the exact differences between 'old', like i mean i knew teenagers were tall and boys get a growth spurt, so somehow it made sense to me that axel could be the same age as roxas?? And man even if i knew he wasnt, i was barely educated at all about pedophilia and i didnt know the nuances of it. I just knew 'its bad for adults to marry kids' like man i was really behind the curve in general learning due to my undiagnosed autism and abusive parenting so like HERE'S 12 YEAR OLD ME NOT EVEN THINKING ABOUT THE SEX ASPECT. And i didnt know that adults in relationships with teenagers was bad too, or like 16/17 year old teens dating kids... I was so fuckin dumb... I really cant believe that not only did i believe stupid adults saying 'pedophilia isnt bad if you're non offending, its okay to make cartoon child porn as long as you dont physically abuse real kids' but also i somehow just DID NOT EVER REALIZE that axel was an adult and roxas wasnt even a goddamn older teen...

So yeh im making a lot of excuses for why my stupid younger self was blindly parroting bullshit, but im not trying to excuse how goddamn wrong and bad it was. I still wake up ashamed in the middle of the night for crapoy decisions i made as a dumb kid, and in terrified that some shreds of it might still exist out there on the internet and maybe someone else could read it?! Gahhhh! Seriously could i have accidentally helped spread that bullshit brainwashing to other kids? And seriously when people say this shit is harmless they just need to look at this, look at how being into problematic yaoi is such a common 'phase' for ACTUAL CHILDREN. Like its not fuckin NATURAL for kids to fall into this stuff, they do it because they dont know any better but the people making the goddamn founding blocks of the fandom are fuckin grown women fetishizing gay men or grown men fetishing lesbians. There's people who do know better who actually conciously decide that a/kurok/u is a good ship while knowing all the goddamn details of what it actually is and exactly what theyre supporting by shipping it. Ughhhhh!

So yeh fuckin Please Stay Safe In Fandom, Kids

And pedophiles have absolutely none of my sympathy, please ignore that goddamn shit i wrote as a little kid being fuckin groomed by a fandom without even knowing it.

This also applies a lot to the rest of LGBT+ aside from just gay shipping, like seriously it took me til age 18 to find any positive representation of trans people or even a proper explanation of what being trans is, yet before i was even 8 years old i'd seen a million 'lol gross man in a dress who gets sexual gratification from wearing women's underwear' jokes in kids shows. And when i was 12 i'd already been exposed to the fuckin hell of m/pre/g thanks to its prevelance of untagged n/sf/w shit in the kh fandom. And by age 15 i'd been exposed to pedophile apologists arguing whether child porn was okay if they only got off to that and didnt personally abuse that kid with their own hands. All of that shit but actually learning about homosexuality and gender in sex ed would have been 'too much' for someone my age...

God what a fuckin mess. Fuck im really really fuckin worried that any of my ignorant comments at those ages could have been read by other ignorant kids and contributed to that disgusting fandom atmosphere. Fuck i think about this so damn often im so damn ashamed of how ignorant i used to be yet i know the adult fuckfaces making pedo shit never reel one lick of shame any damn day of their life. I used to excuse their shit as an actual kid cos i just ASSUMED they would be ashamed and want to seek help! Gahhhh..

[johnnyhadhisrevenge-blog]

the 2 guys in my grade

.i have cut my wrists. i have cut my legs. i do it when im mad at myself sometimes. i threw out my ONLY razor today so that i dont do it anymore. I have scars on my wrists. there is this boy who constantly harasses me at school and i thought i was hiding my scars well enough and i didn't think they were noticeable. i was wrong. i was grabbing my chair (because we are making chairs in shop class) and he saw my wrist. he kinda paused and stared at them and looked into my eyes. i was holding my chair in midair when he suddenly said “whats on your wrist?” i froze because i was so affraid. “brii. did you... do you have a cat?” he asked. i looked him dead in the eye and said, “yea. actually i have two cats.” which is true. “did they attack you or something?” he asked. i was really worried at this point. “yes.” i stated as plainly as i could. he said “oh okay,” and walked away and worked on his chair. He kept looking at me through out class because i kept looking at him waiting. waiting for him to ask me if i lied. waiting for him to harass me again. waiting for him to say SOMETHING to me. The looks he returned werent at all what i expected from him. sympathy. he saw right through my lie. My cats didnt attack me. Infact, one of my cat LOVES me and the other is usually on her own in my parents room. My cats didn’t attack me. My cats will never attack me. i lied to him. he probably told his friends that ALSO harass me. ever since then, he hasnt harassed me. his friends havent harassed me AS much. but i know for a fact he KNOWS i lied to him. and i know for a fact he isnt an awful person just because he harassed me. because he noticed something nobody else has, i know he cares at least a little bit. he knows i exist. by harassing me, he aknowledges my existence. he isnt mean when he harasses me. hes just extremely annoying and loud. he brings the whole classes attention to me when he harasses me. it isnt to be mean. it isnt to be annoying. i do think hes a very nice person and i think his friends are very nice people. and quite frankly, i have a crush on one of his friends that harass me more than him. he actually cares about me. he always says something when i say i want to die. and all of this is true.

I was waiting at the door waiting to get into enlish class one day and i was depressed. this was maybe in september or october during or after my step grandmother was dying. she did die and i was really upset and suicidal because i missed her so much. i was talking about it with my friend who is in that class with me and i told her “i want to die.” this boy that I like looked to me and said “no you don’t.” i was annoyed at the time and said “how would you know?” this is when i sorta came to life inside again. only a little. he looked me dead in the eye and told me “because your still here. if you wanted to die you wouldnt be here. youd be in a hospital or dead.” and i realized he was right. everytime im suicidal i think about what he said. i think about that maybe he harasses me at school it isnt harassing me. its to make me happy and cheer me up. im always really upset in shop class, which he also in that class with me and the other guy, and he comes up to me sometimes and just has a dead face and just jumps in front of me. random as fuck. but i usually tell him to fuck off. he does and he keeps coming back til i start laughing with my friends. even when im with my friends and im not smiling or laughing he comes up and does the most random things and says the most random things to me until i light up a little. we have english together and we have to sit at the same table. hes SO random because hell just randomly bang his head on the table and look at me and say sorry. but im already laughing. he moves the table away from me sometimes to annoy me but lately its been kinda funny because ive only started liking him again (i liked him in 2nd grade and most of 6th grade and some of 7th grad) recenly. hes a really nice person and if ill never be with him, ill never forget what he told me. hes said so many other nice things to me but i cant remember them all i know is that it all happened.

im never going to forget either of these guys. they may be a small part of my life and i may not know either of them very well, but they are so important in my life and mean a lot to me even though ill never admit it to my friends that hate them for them being annoying. JAKE AND LOGAN, I LOVE YOU GUYS THANK YOU FOR BEING ANNOYING AND CARING AT THE SAME TIME.

[iam90sgirl]

Free write:

Influencers and Brands Silence SPEAK VOLUMES

Influencers and Brands Silence SPEAK VOLUMES!

So ive been very vocal on media pages im active on despite a strong notion that a completely strategic and mobilized fight needs to be had instead of the same old posting, praying, protesting but idk the people around me dont seem to see that however I cant stay quiet inspite of myself and I recently unfollowed a ton of people on my public page that havent said anything becase silence dosent save us in these situations. People are vocal about everything else and want you to follow them and their business and like all their posts and support their product but wont show any love back or recognition and then when things actually matter, radio silence. So no they had to go. I understand that many need a push but if you read a newspaper picked up a good book you should know what is what. And what is right and what is simply wrong. So my tolerance for it all is very low right now. If you are an influencer or brand even a black owned brand and especially a black influencer and you are silent right now, do better, people look to you and frequent you and you owe it to your followers to be on the right side of history and to at least TRY to make a difference.

I know some people work behind the scenes and do more that way but people respond to what they see or inturn dont see. It just is that way now with all this technology and such, the perception is your lack of words is a lack of conciousness. Which we know isnt always true but I've seen the most brand locked in pages acknowledging these injustices. I understand that its alot of peoples meal tickets however you gotta stand for something or your so called brand and branding is probably whack anyway. And then some, if any brand decides not to work with me or give me a shot based on this or my vocalness that black life should not be degraded to sensless meaningless death then that's their loss. I will stand for truth and justice and I think its better to know those representing a brand or service have real values so you know that theyll represent you with actual heart and what theyve got. Its too many fluff people and pieces out there anyway. Wheres the substance? Dont just be out here for money, have purpose, vision, morales and character. Whoo that can go into a whole 'nother post so let me digress.

Some of my personal frustration with words in the fight against injustice is that ive been saying them every time and nothing happens. I dont have the platform yet or influence to make huge strides with my impactful words, it seems. and I never thought words alone save us when these things happen. Growing up i was always a hard fan of King but for longer than five years I'd say Malcolm knew what was up. We protested and had Civil Rights but that didnt do much. And i fear a hundred years could go by before people do what needs to be done if the earth is still sustaining all our consumerist behinds by then.

In closing cuz honestly everything im saying is stuff ive been saying for what seems like centuries and i dont care to speak mountains and be met with valleys. words are the least people can do and they arent doing that so why would i think our words will change anything. Its gonna take a hella lot more than words and protesting but words and protesting are the least any of us can do so we of all colors oughta be doing that anyway.

Oh PS so the first and only brand i saw aknowledge this and other injustices was actually Curls (curly hair brand founder and CEO Mahisha Dellinger) I am proud of large brands taking a stand, as they should, to stand against injustice. And then I saw tgin, Shea Moisture and Eden BodyWorks and Target finally say something however they can still do more and other brands and influencers. Recently saw Netflix has taken a stand, and Beyonce, Drake so now others are following as well. Time will tell. Again them saying something dosent solve the issue but it encourages other brands to follow suit which I guess is something still.

Notice, some brands and influencers rather than take a public stance offer public empathy towards the injustices which on one hand is not the same and is a bit of a side eye because it isnt always in care for your mental health, its just playing it safe, however it can be nice to know that people get it and it is heavy on their hearts as well so in terms of keeping investors happy and such its smart bussiness wise but a public stance does more to encourage peopleto do what needs to be done is how im putting it which is simply more. More support from, as Nicole Walters puts, our lighter brighter counterparts on this earth we share as home and more action by all that back up the strong words we say.

5/30/2020

[astronomifier]

Magnus Relisten Eps 43 and 44

Section 31 and Tightrope

Episode 43: Section 31 Case #0160919 Statement of Police Constable Basira Hussain, regarding her time investigating strange occurrences as part of Section 31. Statement taken direct from subject.

We get a pretty major break in formula, this time around. We open with a non-statement conversation between Jon and a police officer, PC Basira Hussain. Hussain quickly transitions to giving a statement, but the statement isnt... exactly about an event. Rather, its about the general experience of being a Section 31 officer, which means we get a series of little vignettes. First, an explanation of what Section 31 is, which is a great bit of worldbuilding: the police totally know about the supernatural, they just really really don’t like dealing with it so they push all that stuff onto a few unlucky officers. Its a clever way to make the supernatural simultaniously feel integrated with human society while still only existing at the edges of it. We then get what are basically two mini-statements: an encounter with Diego Molina, who Jon identifies with the man from First Aid, though i don’t know exactly where he gets his certainty from. There is a lot of overlap with the descriptions, most notably the heat magic stuff, and the word Asag, but i mean do we know for sure that they are exactly the same guy? i guess the author’s think its enough, so lets go with it. This part of the statement also intruduces and then quickly kills off an officer John Spencer. Then we get the story of a man who is trying to kill himself but cannot die. Given that his room is said to be full of domino sets, im going to guess that this is one of the victors of the games with Death that we meet in Cheating Death. basically matches the description perfectly. In this section we are also introduced to Detective Daisy Tonner, who seems to have had some run-in’s with Trevor’s vampires. Basira also mentions a call about a spooky clown doll that she never actually got to see which... i mean it could be a coincidence, but that sounds a lot like she was one of the police officers called to investigate in Strange Music. With her talk about the mentally ill seeing ghosts, she could also have been called out as one of the officers in A Sturdy Lock, as well, though this has only the slightest of evidence for it. Anyways, as i think should be obvious from my write up, there is a lot of worldbuilding and lore connections going on here, but i cant find myself feeling much by way of fear or emotional connection from this episode. All the sub-statements come and go really fast, and are presented so matter-of-factly that they aren’t able to leave much of a frightening impression. It sounds more like Basira is just stating weird things that happened like they’re curiosities.

Basira is a new voice-acted, character though, so thats cool, and she seems like she’s not going to be a one-off, as the episode ends with her promising to get Jon the tapes (and indeed, the next episode from today features one of them). Basira’s voice work, done by Frank Voss, is really good here. Like, every line read feels super natural, with just the right emotion. Basira feels more like a real person talking than, well, really anyone else we’ve gotten on the show so far. She also has a very matter-of-fact personality which is likable, even if it doesnt really lend much to the horror of the statement, which is a real shame.

3/10. Again, i listen to TMA to be scared. This episode lays some important groundwork for worldbuilding and Jon’s plot going forward, but it doesnt really... do the scaring part.

SPOILER PARAGRAPH: Honestly... theres... not a lot to say here? like,,, this episode has a lot of callbacks to older stuff, but as far as looking forward... We get introduced to Basira (probably my favorite reoccurring character) and Daisy, who will both be coming back, and learn a bit more about the Lightless Flame, but other than aknowledging that these characters are around, this episode doesn’t really introduce any new factors that need “solving” or anything. But honestly, thats nice sometimes. Can be good to get answers to old questions for once rather than opening new questions up.

Episode 44: Tightrope Case #9790302 Statement of Yuri Utkin, regarding an incident in the Russian village of Algasovo in November 1952.

So, we get a recording from one of Gertrudes tapes today, following up from the last episode. Gertrude Robinson, voiced by Jonathan Sims’ mother Sue Sims, immediately jumps out thanks to the amazing vocal performance. I mean, Sims is perfect in this role. You can hear the age in her voice, but she is far from feeble. She sounds hardened as steel, honestly, threading the line between academic distance and compassionless coldness. The character is super interesting from the moment go, jumping hugely up from the incompitent old woman we’ve been semi-expecting before this. I especially love when she says she’s glad the children were unharmed, the way it sounds almost sarcastic, where you know she’s only saying it because its a Societaly Expected Disclaimer. Now, as for the actual content of the statement. This is one of the farthest flung of the statements we’ve had so far, taking us all the way to 1950′s Soviet Russia, so this is a huge change of pace. This statement appears to be a prequel to Strange Music, the statement about the evil calliope and clown dolls. We get an insight into Nikolai Denekin’s time at the Circus of the other, featuring a Robotic Tiger, terrifying tightrope walk, mind control, and freak show. All the elements of the horror here are really creepy, piecing together to turn the circus into a nightmarish entity. This is assisted by our point of view character, more on that later. We also get an appearance from a pair of russian workers in overalls who talk very strangely, people who even on first listen i was fairly confident were some past version of Breekon and Hope. This would make sense, as B&H was responsible for bringing the calliope to the Magnus Institute in Strange Music. It seems that wherever they are they adapt to the societally expected version of “generic workman”. Perhaps most interesting about this statement though is the fact that Robinson clearly knows plenty about this circus, probably having researched it quite a bit. Of course, as these notes seem to be mostly for her own use, very little of that information actually passes down to us, other than the clue that “after Denikin left” the circus got a lot tamer.

So, narrator. I think Yuri is the closest we’re ever going to get to a child PoV on TMA, as while written by an adult the event in question took place when the narrator was a young child. That definitely adds to the horror of the statement, in my opinion. Nothing actually needs to menace the child directly, the mere fact that such a young kid is walking through such an obviously dangerous place with naive confidence is enough to trigger anyone’s instinctive parental fear. And even if not, he’s just so vulnerable. The fact that all the adults seem to be enthralled with the circus also adds to the fear, as it gets at that childhood fear of adults becoming untrustworthy or unsafe. The soviet perspective of this episode is also really neat. Plot-wise it doesnt do all to much here, but it adds a nice wrinkle of color to the statement.

9/10. Man i really like this episode. Its just so genuinely creepy, and on top of it narrated by the amazing Gertrude Robinson who, ima be real, I honestly like listening to more than i do Jon.

SPOILER PARAGRAPH: I’m honestly really proud of myself for figuring out the Breekon and Hope connection on first listen. I’m sure its not as hard as i think it is, but it still made me feel smart. We also have the matter of the Tiger. This appears to be much the same as the taxidermies from Episode 54: Still Life, another Stranger focused episode, though I don’t fully understand the mechanism for it getting to Britain under the care of Daniel Rawlings. Speaking of the stranger, i feel like this is the ultimate stranger episode; just about every aspect of the entity shows up here. Creepy clowns, creepy music, the taxidermies, Breekon and Hope, impossible bodies, people you know becoming untrustworthy. The only thing thats missing is the NotThem, and that seems to be a one of a kind thing, so it gets a pass. This episode also collects like, all of the parts of the stranger that make it terrifying, and the episodes entire mood is that “not quite right” unsettling that basically defines the entity. I did think it was funny though how our narrator specifically sites not having a fear of heights, only a fear people close to them being injured. That’s definitely Jonny going “yes i know the main set piece of this episode is a tightrope walk but this is NOT a Vast episode”. In the meta-plot, we also get the first hint of the Unknowing here, as Gertrude is clearly researching the Circus of the Other when she makes the recording. Though, as this recording was made in 1997 it might be a bit early for the unknowing. maybe she had simply identified the Circus as a potential threat.

[minimalvariety]

hello! I would love to know if you have any tarot guidance/spiritual guidance or general advice about letting go of past tension with friends? I would like to forgive them, but can’t seem to get past how they’ve previously made me feel. Does it also have anything to do with trying to find my own way? Thank you so much, V 💫

the cards: the hermit + high priestess + strengthon one hand, the first pair can indicate that your feelings about the situation will remain hidden forever, on the other, both are solitary cards based on intuition, personal development and self reflection. distance yourself from these people, think about what has happened, but the strength card suggest you find the power within you, focus and move on.from me: im also in a similar situarion, although we arent friends because they fucked me up big time and i hate them. i actually did do a reading at the time and got the hermit. so i distanced myself from them, and werent they only mean to me with no compassion, they were jealous of my own success and tried to tear me down, i left and now they are rotting lol.maybe this isnt the same situation for you and its just a misunderstanding, but the pendulum implied your friend(s?) doesnt value you and the relationship isnt important, especially to you.i cant tell you to just "get over it" especially if the situation didnt have any closure, but here is what i did, and i hope it helps you as welldirect actions:- burn incense or deep clean your room, it is a form of cleansing and will help you focus- delete pictures/contacts/messages, if you dont want to delete pictures for whatever reason, put them in your pc and delete them from your phone. dont read any of the convos n shit, nostalgia is a fake hoe- gifts and items from them: burn them trash them, do a banishing spell, piss on them you name it, throw it away- unfollow from social media, unfriend them on facebook or whatever, delete any posts you have with themif you arent in school, congrats! you probably dont have to see them again, if you do happen to see them on a daily basis, find a new friend and ignore them, they probably have done the samehow to mentally get over it(??):- bawl your eyes out if you must, let it all out, let out all your anger. you cant get over the feelig unless you aknowledge it first. did you release stress? great- think about the bad things they have done for you, chances are, when you do think about it, they have done a lot more shit that would upset you if it were anyone else, but you didnt mind because they were your friend. - know there are more people out there, these arent the only people there is, they are insignificant and not worthy of your attention, it may be hard at first, but try not to give a shit, even if you think about it, immediately change the thought.- if it is about your own personal development, delete them, if they were looking to tear you down and not support your decisions, they arent worth the time. dont let people pull you back from your potential. ditch them, do what you want, accomplish your plans and let them eat your dust.i hope i helped just a little bit, my personal advice is more than the tarot cards, prob because i got through a similar situation, feel free to dm me or ask again for clarification or anything, good luck 💕

[teddy-feathers]

So to get to work we drive to the store thats being built get into a van and go bye bye to denver. And theres this one kid (hes married and has a baby so hes not a kid i just call everyone not last gen a kid cause habit) who likes dnd and me and him show up early and he wants to talk about dnd so i figure itll be destracting and I can keep up (hes making and editing classes so no i cant but it sounds cool) but the longer we sit there the more anxious i get even after the others show up the vans not there and theyre parked down a ways from us so what do they know only the guy doesnt want to move his car and even if we moved itd be aknowledgement i was wrong and didnt know what the fuck i was doing and Then there's the van showing up literally at go time So we walk over to the competent group and i sat to make room but was actually last on the bus so then moved to have space and sit by the window instead of next to a person (only to make room i sat in the middle middle and not next to the person id been talking to so now ive been weird around two people) I just got so fn anxious about all of it and it built what felt really fast and i almost uh well freaked out so i put on my music and head phones id brought only then i worried because what id we're supposed to talk or listen only the drivers playing the radio and everyone else is listening to music so i finally calmed down but Anyways i dont know the last time i was around human people but that sucked lets not repeat it today The rest of the day was spent in actually not akward small talk but the three of us who were new new dont know how to shut up because (like talking + politeness) and i really didnt want to talk just learn so i dont fuck it up and all but i dont think that kid gets that and i dont want to be rude and i wouldnt mind listening on our breaks but at the same time IVE used a smart system a telzon know how to read them and signage and how inventory works to SOME extent because ive done some of this in a different system but still i think with a little practice I'll be fine quick fast and in a hurry but this kids only worked grocery and has no fucking clue he NEEDS to be asking questions and playing with the damn telzon and figuring this out YES its a lot to take it if youve never seen it but you cant just go "yeah brains fried after the first bit of explanation i give up for the day" because like yeah these people expect you todo and understand a lot but RIGHT NOW is the time for fuck ups because rn youre new and know jack and shit and they EXPECT that so they allow for.mistakes right? Later youll say or theyll expect you to at least have grasped it and you dont want to be that guy alone with your job and having to crib off of someone else meaning your shit doesnt meet expectations AND youre dragging down the guy next to you with basic questions. Like i get attaching yourself to people and trying to make friends i do but dude while i understand some of it some of it is wild and new and confusing and i need to get and practice but i have a base for this stuff and i get being confused and not wanting to fuck the system but at the same time you know nada. You should be the one making grabby hands at the telzon while the manager walks you through shit. Should be asking questions even the same ones until you get it because youll never be allowed to be this clueless ever again. Im an anxious individual akward and beat myself up over literally everything i almost had a panic attack in an fn van full of people almost started crying and gave up while in said van before we even left the city but i got there and i can do the job and learn the job and make sure that reguardless of my quarks i can learn and do it as fast as possible to get the learning curve out of the way as soon as possible so i can be smooth at it before they finish the training period and learn my people friendly scripts and where things are and ALWAYS try to be johnny on the spot and on top of things FIRST SO THAT LATER theyll know im competent and a good worker so theyll tolerate odd things like how akward i am and how later i wont feel allowed to fuck up or wont be forgiven it the way i am rn So FIRST you make yourself a dream worker as best as you can around you until you fit. THEN youre allowed to talk and goof off and stand around for a bit or do nothing. Right now youre allowed to be clueless but you dont want to be that guy who does nothing or doesnt seem to try to be learning because i dont care if youre new theyre sizing you up amd juding your behavior now as your work ethic too. Getting the job doesnt mean youre getting the job dude. I know im weird and mean and harsh and my thought process may not be right but dont drag me down with you. I will help i will try to show and explain and things but dude right now im not trying to be your friend except during breaks im trying to learn the job and do the job and KEEP the job and i know more than you do PLEASE please please do the SAME so that you dont give up or get in trouble because when the people were covering that topic you were trying to be buddy buddy with me. Also like if you dont shut up i cant hear him and have to ask him to explain what he JUST said over again and new or not i already look stupid i dont need help thanks.

[tumblunni]

Bwoop! Cathedral tower defense ideas! Havent really made much damn progress on this game since I havent got a design for the protagonist yet, but at least now I have designs for two of the party members. (Thanks @summon-daze!) So for now lets just have some rambling ideas for potential sidequests you could have with these two!

BRIEF SUMMARY TIME Amity: Protagonist. A gruff and badass wandering priestess whose homeland was destroyed in the war. Now she’s joined another church in a foreign land and is dertermined to defend it against the demons, and never let that tragedy happen again! But she has to win the trust of these strangers first, and teach them how to survive... Florin: First and only party member you begin with at the start, deuterogonist, cute sidekick of sass and pep. He’s a plant type demon who’s haunting Amity for reasons unknown, and refuses to leave! Now she’s stuck trying to get rid of him, while he insists on being annoyingly helpful yet comically lazy at the same time. Also, as an incidental fact, he suffers from narcolepsy. Malachi: Optional party member, and the only other demon in the cast. An adorable little choir boy who doesn’t seem entirely aware that he’s become a demon. It’d be cruel to judge him the same as the others, we need to keep him safe! He’s quiet and cuddly and comically oblivious. What do you mean humans don’t enjoy eating rocks??

THUS, SIDEQUEST IDEAS

* Multiple different attempts to get rid of Florin, which all inevitably fail and end up causing him and Amity to become closer buddies. TFW you try to exorcise a guy and end up frolicking through the fields of friendship~! * Similarly, it could be fun to have some silly plans to trick him into being less lazy. Predictably the answer is just gonna be ‘when you’re nicer to him, he actually wants to put in the effort’, but that doesnt mean we cant have some fun shenanigans in the process! * Amity sneaking around trying to spy on Florin and find him doing something evil. He’s GOT to be here to pull off some ultimate plot, right?? Lol, 90% of their friendship is just Amity being suspicious as heck and Florin rudely persisting in being harmless. * A plot where somehow they actually do get separated, and Amity begins to realise how helpful her lil demon sidekick has actually become, and how much she genuinely appreciates him as a friend. Could possibly be that instead of being gone, Florin is ill with some sort of demon sickness and you need to go on a grand quest to save him? or maybe he’s been kidnapped by a villain who wants to use his powers for nefarious purposes, and accuses you of doing the same thing because why on earth else would you pretend to care about this monster? (And then when you rescue him you can have the grumpy excuse that of course you only did it because he’d be dangerous as anyone else’s sidekick. No affection was involved at all!!) * Mysterious flowers are appearing around the cathedral, and Amity starts to suspect that Florin is setting up some sort of evil demon plan. But she actually discovers that this is a sign of how much he’s genuinely begun caring about the other npcs, he’s been paying attention to their troubles and secretly giving them the flowers he thinks they’d most like, without wanting to take any credit for it. So you get a sassy friendship scene of Amity blackmailing him by threatening to reveal he’s been being nice! Thus florin gains the bonus skill of opening a little flower store. (And blushing himself to death every time anyone says thank you) * A conflict between Amity and Florin, where she accuses him of just being lazy as always, but this time he really was trying! He started off not caring about anyone, and only working when it benefitted him, but now he’s working his butt off and has become really self-concious about the fact he’s not really able to keep up with the rest of the party. And so he ends up talking about his narcolepsy problem with her, and if they have enough friendship points she starts being more considerate and trying to help him out with it. And maybe unlocks a longer quest chain of improving the home base’s medical facilities? * Florin hibernates in winter, everyone has to cope without him and realises how much they miss him. Like a repeat of the earlier quest where he’s kidnapped, but this is a new perspective on how Amity feels about it now they’ve been close friends for a while. And also how everyone else around the church feels. Maybe a plot of them all deciding to write down letters for him to read when he wakes up? And maybe tensions getting high when some sort of disaster happens, and Amity is like ‘oh god i dont want to have to tell Florin that this place fell apart without him’. (With it being up to player choice whether you include the bad points in the letter, or try and hide it from him.) * A potential bad ending for Florin, and how things continue afterwards. I think he’d be one of the characters who (initially at least) doesnt die when defeated in battle. If he’s taken out, he’s just near-mortally wounded and recovers after a very tense period where he’s in a coma. And then the plot explores everyone’s feelings at almost losing him, and his own feelings of uselessness now he’s too injured to go back to the fight. And because malachi can become like an adoptive brother to florin, they can still have a happy ending together even if florin has been removed from the party like this. He retires to take care of his lil bro full time, and he doesnt worry about feeling useless when he knows he’s got someone who thinks the world of him. And Malachi can inherit some of his skills and equipment since now Florin can devote all his time to tutoring him into taking up his former place in the army. * Oh, and of course Malachi’s recruitment sidequest! You’d first encounter him as a feral rock beast in a dungeon somewhere, and there’s a conflict between Amity and Florin because she believes this thing needs to be destroyed and he insists that they can redeem it. He can sense it’s a demon, and its got to be corrupted if it’s going wild like this! But Amity believes that demons are inherantly evil, so this one’s behaviour isnt unusual like florin thinks. She’s aknowledged that florin isn’t evil, but she still feels he’s an exception amoung demons! But eventually she’s convinced to take a chance on florin’s convictions, because its rare for him to be so un-lazy about something, and to defend something even at the risk of his own life. So they manage to find a way to purify the monster, and find out that it was a very young child, underneath all that scary rock armour. So if they’d slain it without a second thought, they would have committed an unforgiveable sin... * Malachi’s next sidequest would be convincing him to leave the ruins and come home with them, while exploring the dungeon to try and find out what exactly happened to turn such a sweet kid into a demon. (Not to mention the fact he was absolutely crazed with corruption!) I don’t wanna spoil the ending to this, but I have a lot of Sad Ideas for this charrie, hee hee~ * A potential plotline that once Malachi joins the church base, he could have trouble making friends with the normal human children. I Had an idea of a bully character who’d get redeemed and ultimately become accepted as his friend after a big ol sad apology scene, and then they become this misfit buddies duo. And the ostracization from the other kids doesnt hurt as much when he’s got this tough former-bully lady defending him against her former-comrades. * And he also grows closer to Florin as theyre the only two demons, and florin was the one who saved him. Plus they both enjoy sitting buried in the flowerbed and eating dirt! I think the relationship wouldnt start off this close though, Mal would initially be scared of Florin. Since he doesnt know that he himself is a demon, he just thinks florin is the only demon and he has much the same fears as Amity once had when the story began. But it could be more comical, because its inherantly silly when you have this kid with giant horns yelling ‘ITS A DEMON’ and hiding behind the couch XD And eventually he does grow to love florin like a parent, but he’s still comically oblivious. He just decides that florin ISNT a demon, of course! He’s just... a little more green than other people!! * Possibly a plot of everyone holding a funeral for malachi to cheer him up, since he never had one when he died as a human. But since malachi doesnt comprehend the whole concept, he’s just like ‘when normal people get put in the ground they sleep forever, why did i wake up? is it because i never got tucked in like they did?’ And then it could be funny like bender’s fake funeral in futurama, but also a bit bittersweet and sad and heartwarming. * Sudden panic! Malachi accidentally calls florin ‘dad’, and florin FREAKS THE FRICKLE FRACK OUT! ‘I’m not a good influence, amity! aaaaa!!!’ Worries too much about not being good enough, maybe comically tries to change his personality into a generic sitcom father and malachi is like ‘wtf’ * Possibly a plot about malachi and florin bonding as demons, and figuring out what being demons even necessarily means. I’m thinking florin might be a bit scared by seeing how malachi can sometimes hulk out and run on pure instinct. Its such a huge contrast that this sweet kind child can have such bloodthirstiness inside him, he doesnt understand how malachi seems to enjoy fighting. And he doesnt understand how malachi can think he can control it! He gets a bit scared that this means the fighting side of him is the real side, and the childlike side is just a front, just a lie like everyone says demons manipulate everyone. And does this mean that florin himself is the same? Is he just deluding himself that he can be good? So the resolution is florin being able to accept that both parts of malachi are still malachi, and its completely possible to have both sides without being evil. It is indeed in the nature of demons to fight, but they dont enjoy destruction or evil, its not like holding back some horrible monster who’ll murder everyone you love. And florin has always been holding back this side, he’s been afraid of using his powers too much, worrying he only exists to kill. Malachi helps him accept that his powers have equal potential to heal and to harm, and that it IS possible to control them, that the choice between good and evil is indeed his own choice. At the same time this helps malachi accept that he is indeed a demon, and cope with remembering his horrifying backstory. Knowing that he isnt alone, and that demons dont have to be evil, he’ll be able to be okay, and he has this other demon friend who can help him though it. And they’re able to work out the whole Fearsome Demonic Instincts by doing some playfight sparring together like total dorks XD If you’re worried about your sense of control, then never using your powers wont help! Gotta actually practise! * Possibly florin officially adopting malachi as his son, and its possible for the player to expand out and make more bases once you’ve fully upgraded the cathedral. And maybe florin could become the boss of this new place, and turn it into like an orphange for malachi and others? it could be a big sign of his character development that he’s come this far! Also it could just be hilarious to imagine how baffled travellers would be. “Aaaa there’s a demon and he’s... looking after small children??” “We must rescue the small children from that horrible demon and take them to the orphanage!” *knocks on the door and its florin again*

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Aaaaa ugh time of the month started And I’m breaking my ‘no caffeine’ fast AGAIN because I’m just so exhausted and gross feeling and I need it :P and just... uuuugh it doesnt hurt as much as it used to, I get less abdominal cramps now i try sleeping on my back whenever it starts but its still just so draining and demotivating when I know I’m not female yet I’m gonna have to deal with this shit anyway just GUH its so gross stop reminding me i have ovaries period blood fucking SMELLS, even! it smells completely different to regular blood and just a million times worse than anything on earth. i feel just as unclean as people used to treat women on their periods in ancient civilization, its just so horrible i have to pay attention to my ovaries for a week each month i have to be all achey and smell like a monster and constantly never be able to get clean and its so bad cos i have an inconsistant period i can never predict so theres always just that horrible moment of realizing halfway through the day that its started and now a good mood is ruined I refuse to let this mood be ruined, I’m just gonna stop thinking about it, ok take the pain meds and think about ANYTHING ELSE except dysphoria jesus christ and even seriously THE WORST BIT is how my period almost always coincides with my birthday too! it landed on my birthday this year and last year and on my 18th. it always fluctuates around the 12 to the 15th and its always the 12th in october exactly when i dont want it GAHHHH and sometimes its really painful and sometimes its okay and sometimes its REALLY PAINFUL I have these ridiculous blisteringly horrid periods that make me unable to fuckin walk straight cos my entire abdomen has gone numb while I vomit out everything I try to eat and sweat straight through my clothes with fever and friggin hallucinate this year’s birthday i had to go through that I had to WALK HALF A MILE TO THE SHOPS while going through that I was all out of medication and i nearly fucking fainted in the street on the way back I couldnt see anything at all, i was that goddamn dizzy it took me five tries to unlock my own door and i fucking didnt leave the house for a month after having to be outside while i was all gross and sweaty and probably everybody hated me and gahhhh I get paranoid that people can fuckin smell it on me and they know this body is female even if the person inside it isnt... I get paranoid they’ll all know I’m a fake I need to stop spiralling and just take my medicine dear god I keep freaking out more and more each month, i was able to handle this better when i was younger... it just keeps settling in that im gonna have to deal with this for the rest of my LIFE for no goddamn reason at all plz tie my tubes dear god doctor: okay we can talk about the transgender thing later, right now the priority is fixing your depression MY DUDE MY GUY DONT YOU THINK THAT WOULD HELP WITH MY DEPRESSION??? god i know probably he just means my medication would interact badly with testosterone suppliments but whatever seriously can i at least talk to a therapist about it or have my right pronouns used i built up all the courage to tell my support worker and they just pretend like it never happened and i keep cringing every time everyone keeps saying ‘miss’ and ‘woman’ even though I TOLD THEM seriously please dont make me remind you im not brave enough to speak up againnnn its hilarious the only place im out of the closet is frickin DWR CYMRU WATER BILLS COMPANY they added a ‘mx’ option on their registration forms and allowed me to change my details i dont even have it on my birth certificate, i dont even have my psychologist aknowledging it, but my frickin bathroom faucet provider is there for me they provide representation where it counts and also tap repair when it counts just imagine me scraping my claws across my face because that is what i am doing right now I need to eat my takeaway and take my medication and think about LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE okay okay I’ll try doing the measurements to get my custom binder ordered I’ll do that ...maybe tomorrow I dont know I keep putting it off cos I hate looking at my naked chest I wish i just had a bra size to give them but I legit have never known my bra size I couldnt fucking stand getting tested for it and having saleswomen look at me and touch me and talk about fucking breasts like theyre something great and like I’m a fucking woman when im not, please listen to me dear god and everyone’s telling me to get cervical exams for vaginal cancer and blablabla its important to get tested once a year when you’re over 20 but I AM NOT GETTING PEOPLE SHOVING SHIT UP MY HORRIBLE DYSPHORIA ORGAN WHILE TALKING ABOUT HOW FEMALE I APPARANTLY AM god why do i keep spiralling and thinking about everything bad I dont want to think about my body i just want the pieces gone i feel like a lunatic cos even most trans people dont have moments of literally wanting to cut your own stomach open with a knife and take the parts out i get the stupidest most over the top self harm thoughts I spend way too much time thinking of how the fuck I could possibly perform my own top surgery without bleeding out or dying of infection or whatever I ended up dwelling on it way too much when that old comic Y The LLast Man mentioned amazons ‘burning off their left boob’ as a sign of fellowship or something, I spent ages trying to figure out how the fuck you do that and how I could do it right now someone save me from this flesh coffin gross fucking sacks of uselessness and a spiderweb of disgusting blood organs that serve no purpose except punishing me every month for not wanting to have sex yeah geez fucking christ isnt femininity great cant imagine why anyone would ever not want to be a woman gahhhh and then I end up being a rude piece of shit and probably alienating all my trans woman friends who want this kind of body, and im just like PLEASE TAKE IT AWAY why cant there be a magical ray that lets us swap give me a way to pretend I’m being generous instead of selfish by self-mutilating this sad sack of a body gahhh ... sorry, dont take it serious guys, I’m just venting. I’ve had a lot of disturbing self hate thoughts before but I havent acted on them since I was a teenager. Its not all dysphoric though, sometimes god likes to spice it up by making me imagine slicing my own eyeballs out of my head or whatever XD i was having such a good day, I was going to go start drawing again... why now...

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Man i'm remembering how raw all of Nami's early arcs were in One Piece and how much it sucks that she just got completely sidelined later on and increasingly turned into a sex symbol as well as being pushed further into the box of 'token weak normal human who can never win a fight' while usopp eventually escaped it. Oh except she can sometomes win sexualized fights against other sexualized women. *sigh* That moment where she got fuckin assualted ny an invisible man while naked in the shower and it was all played as sexy to the audience and sanji makes a shitty joke about wishing he had the invisible power to perv on girls and then EVERYONE ELSE EXCEPT NAMI gets some damn resolution on beating up invisibiluty asshole and its clear the whole thing was just an excuse for the author to show tits and her feelings dont really matter. Oh and the fuckin literal soap bath battle with the lady whose power is magic soap that makes people extra slippery and shiny like JESUS CHRIST BRO

Anyway lets not go on for an hour about the bad nami stuff and instead remember the great stuff!

Like that FUCKIN RAW moment in her backstory arc where theyve played the reveal of her being part of Arlong's crew SO WELL that you genuinely cant tell if she was really evil all along and is really betraying everyone. And then they slap you right in the face with what seems to be a scene of her murdering usopp! And its just done so damn great and dark and shocking, like right down to the framing of it where it looks like he escaped for a second and then he barely has time to gasp out a word before she stabs him. And they let this ride for a decently long amount of time too before revealing she's not evil after all. Just enough time to sink in and make you believe it! And the circumstances of the reveal are SO DAMN GREAT, yo! I think its straight up the most badass heroic thing anyone has ever done in the entire series and i hate how it doesnt get remembered much or aknowledged as much as the bigger more dramatic fights.

Cos you see...yeah Nami was not in fact evil and was just pretending to be loyal to these villains because theyd been blackmailing her for years ans she had a plan to trick her way out of it and wanted to keep her friends safe from being involved (and loads of other complex shit!) But she REALLY FUCKIN DEDICATED HERSELF TO HER ACTING cos she knew just how damn dangerous these bastards are and how much it was gonna take to fool them. The real reason Usopp got cut off mid sentence into a strangled scream is because Nami stabbed HERSELF to fake killing him! She wrecked the shit out of her arm and rubbed the blood on him and told him to stay down, and then managed to not let out the slightest sound of her pain and continue pulling off her amazing fake villain acting while bleeding out underneath her sleeve. Its not really brought up again but from the degree of how goddamn much she injured that hand and how she wasnt able to get it treated until after HOURS OF HIDING THE PAIN, it probably would have left her with permenant muscle spasms and difficulty moving her fingers. And she's a mapmaker so thats an injury that would really affect her career for the rest of her life. She risked all that to save a friend who believed she'd betrayed him and was 100% down to fight at that moment! Like seriously they also had some great development with usppp realizing he was wrong and working hard to overcome his cowardliness and put his own life on the line to help save Nami later on. It was such a good arc!!

Oh and of course theres the entire context to this whole thing that this villain group actually murdered nami's mother when she was a kid and groomed her into joining them. And right from the age of like six years old she was already planning how to out-manipulate the manipulators and gain the trust enough to take revenge someday. And she faked joining the villains, faked being fine with it, faked not mourning her goddamn mom. She let herself be treated like a heartless demon child by everyone she ever knew, so she could make these monsters believe she'd betrayed them and thus someday save them all. Save all those people who never even fuckin believed in her! And the villain dude fuckin branded her like a cow and she was so traumatized she tried to dig the tattoo out with a knife and seriously man her left arm must be so damn scarred and i hate that they dont atually show it just cos 'she's gotta be sexy'. They used to show the scar underneath her life-affirming happier replacement tattoo, but it just got phased out around the same time her waist became 2cm wide...

Also it really fuckin sucked that this arc just ended with Nami's decade long plan to save her family failing and she cries into the dirt and then all the male characters save her aand defeaat the bad guy instead. Even worse that this started becoming a trend where every new arc from now on would have some sort of femle character who was very sad and her grand character development was admitting she needed luffy to save her and then everyone else except her gets to defeat the bad guy she has this deep personal reason to want to defeat. Sigh!

So yeh seriously Oda i know ur tryin real damn hard to amp every damn battle as the biggest thing ever now but nothing will ever be bigger than back when you had more simple fully realized concepts that gave the whole cast time to shine and aalso very specifocally nami who was the best most goddamn engaging character and you suddenly somehow forgot this. "Woman who is so much of a damn hero that she'd stab herself to save her friends who didnt even believe she wasnt evil" is like the fucking apex of what this series has ever achieved and i wpuld personally like to remember her always as the way she was in that moment.

Also seriously it would have been way better if nami got to contribute towards defeating arlong AT ALL, and especiaally if she could have dealt the final blow. Like yeah she isnt some beastly strong superpowers guy like luffy and co, but it would have been so satisfying to see all her intelligence and planning pay off! Instead of just bullshit 'arlong somehow magically knew everything she was ever planning and he only let her believe he was fooled so he could have fun shooting down her hopes when she got so close'. Nah yknow what would have been really satisfying and great? If we still had that moment but then it was revealed nami actually double-doublecrossed him! Like he's boasting about seeing through her whole plan and then suddenly he stumbles and realizes she poisoned his drink or something. Would have been extra mega double triple satisfying if this was after him actually beating all the main brawn-over-brain characters in a physical fight, and it looked like our heroes were all doomed but she managed to take down this guy they couod never hope to defeat. Though some very simple clever trick that he never expected because he underestimated her. And also this could work well to introduce the seven warlords kf the sea without immediately undercutting them, like if we clearly show that arlong actually WAS wildly out of their league and they genuinely could not defeat one of the warlords at their current power level, they just got lucky with a creative solution. That would have worked better than having zoro fight mihawk for literally no reason except 'i wanna prove im stronger than mihawk'. Srsly so much of zoro's goddamn honor shit seems so dumb on a rewatch, he outright stabs himself to give himself a handicap cos something sonething honor, and refuses to accept help because honor and fights people who didnt wanna fight him because honor and generally this looks more like signs of the man being suicidal, geez! Also stabbing yourself for no reason is nowhere near as raw as stabbing yourself to save a friend. Also zoro fuckin passed out from blood loss and nami not only didng do that but also completely hid her injury from a literal shark man who can smell blood. And stared him right in the face and lied about murdering her best friend. Nami is the highest goddamn power tier in one piece and if the creator cant figure that out then i have no interest in reading any more of it

WE ARE NAMI STANS FIRST AND HUMANS SECOND