#well actually there is an outcome worse than oh so ur a girl. its actually being harassed lmao

[lokh]

UGHHHHH i just wanna look cute but dont want to deal with ‘oh so ur a girl =0′

[words-writ-in-starlight]

humble request: rey or phasma, ur choice, for the headcanon meme

Heck,how about some Rey feelings.  Pleaseobserve that I have literally never given a fuck about the extended universefor more than long enough to Make Things Worse, and I have no idea what Rey’scanonical backstory is in the New EU.

A: what I think realistically

So…this is what I started followingWilde for, way back in the day, but Rey has definitely eaten a dude before,right?  Like, she grew up a feral desertorphan child and has definitely killed a couple people to protect herself andher home and her food supply, and. Well.  Supposing it was a sort ofbeing whose flesh isn’t toxic to humans…that’s a lot of food.  Your average human runs about 40,000calories, if you eat whatever organs are edible (not all, but a goodnumber) and make appropriate use of the bones. That’s literally almost a month offood for a skinny nervous abandoned teenager.  More if you ration it.

Rey feels worse about losing some of themeat because she was learning how to cure it than she does about any other partof the situation.

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

Rey has never had a last name.  Neither has Finn.  Finn comes into the Dqar base unconscious andbleeding out and who the hell else is going to put themselves down as people tocontact in case he needs something (incase he dies, they do not think) except Rey, who Finn came back for, andPoe, who came back for Finn.  So throughsome confusion with medical staff Finn is officially down as Finn Dameronbecause…well, Poe’s not going to tell them they can’t, okay?  Poe has a big extendedfamily back on Yavin IV, they won’t mind one more, and honestly just Finn is starting to look a littlelonely, flapping out in the breeze without any other names on it.  The guy can pick a last name when he wakesup, but for the moment, Finn Dameron it is.

Rey is informed, after she’s had fourribs and a mild concussion repaired, that they’ll need her last name so thatthey can record the concussion and make sure future doctors know about it.  This takes a remarkable amount of explainingabout the point of medical records,followed by a lengthy but competently recalled list of every notable injury Reyhas ever sustained.

“Thank you, Rey,” the medic says dryly,noting down the last of them.  “And alast name?  You can just pick one to fillin, for now, and change it later if you need to.”

“Dameron,” Rey says offhandedly, becauselast names are about family and family are the people who come back for you andhonestly that’s about the extent of Rey’s understanding on the matter.

By the time Rey’s back from hunting downLuke from some backwater corner of the galaxy, the entire Resistance knows thatPoe Dameron gave Finn his jacket and Rey his droid (temporarily, he did get itback, but no one seems willing to listen) and the both of them his last name.  As far as Rey is concerned, corralling Finnand waiting for Poe in his quarters is nothing short of the obvious solution toeveryone’s problems.

Rey is a feral desert child whoseknowledge of bureaucratic nonsense is limited at best and nonfunctional atworst.  She mis-files a couple of thingsa week, and usually it’s caught by the actual administrative staff, but howwere they supposed to know that she didn’t understand that she’d accidentallyfiled all her documents with two spouses. She does live with Finn andPoe, she protests when it comes up, and they are her family, and they aren’trelated, she just eliminated options until there was only one left!

To Finn, who grew up in a world wheremarriage barely existed as a concept and certainly wasn’t something he wasfamiliar with, this seems perfectly legitimate.

To Poe, who is literally the last person on base to find out whenLeia very dryly hands him an anniversary present and says “I hear you gotmarried this time last year,” this prompts a lot more questions.

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

Do you ever think about Rey as a littlegirl, trying not to cry because it wasteswater and she has so little water left, and sitting out under the stars asshe wonders why she wasn’t good enough? Why she wasn’t good enough for her parents to stay?  Why she wasn’t good enough for them to takeher with them?  

Why she wasn’t good enough for them tolove?

Because if you ever think about that,let me raise you one up.  Do you everthink about Rey as a young woman, holding an ancient weapon in both hands andtrying to drive back a ragged blade of scarlet light, trying not to fall intothe crevasse opening below her feet, trying not to die here, at the hands of this wild-eyed creature behind thatterrible mask, this monster who killed the only person who had really, trulyoffered her a place in the world (do youwant a job)—and do you ever think about how, in total desperation, shereaches out to the Force and begs I amnot good enough for this, please save me anyway.

And the Force comes to her call with theforce of a sun being born and answers oh,wild girl, newest heart, thing-with-teeth-and-starlight-eyes, you are just as goodas you choose to be.

And Rey opens her eyes and throws themonster away from her and, prowling forward with her teeth bared and starlight in her eyes, makes a choice.

D:  what would never work with canon but the canon isshit so I believe it anyway

Right, so, we all pretty much know thatRey is probably going to be Luke’s daughter because ultimately Star Wars is thestory of the Skywalker family more than anything else.  But honestly I think if I had total creative control here I would gowith that one suggestion that has drifted past once or twice about Rey beingthe Force’s second attempt at balance, another Force-child meant to repair thedamage wreaked in the wake of the last. Her mother was not a Skywalker.  Hermother was no one of note.  Her motherwas not equipped for a child like Rey.  Reywas born and the Force shook, and Reycried and the Force soothed her, and Rey laughed and the sun’s light was lessbrutal.  Her mother ran when Rey wasseven.

Rey had no control over it, of course.  But alone, scaling the gutted hulk of fallen destroyersand battlestars, Rey always seemed to find the last valuable items, waiting tobe ripped from the walls and control panels, and she never stumbled, never fellinto the depths below her, never quitegot severely injured.  Once, she found aship wrecked on the sand and followed a tug that anchored somewhere under herbreastbone, and found a door that had jammed shut in the crash.  No one had ever tried to open it.

When she pried the door free, Rey rippedout the hyperbaric chamber beyond and managed to rig up a sledge behind herspeeder, and took a dead relic of a dead man who had once been the Force’s ownchild, unknown father-twin-cousin-selfto Rey, to be traded for food.  It hadearned her an entire month’s portions, and the quick-rise bread and the proteinbars tasted strange on her tongue.  Likecannibalism, almost.  Eating one’s ownkind to survive.  

The first time Rey uses the Force—intentionally,with anger and willfulness and desperation behind it—Luke and Leia almost havea mutual heart attack.  The sunburst of presence,the supernova, is familiar but unspeakably foreign, a gravitational pull like asupermassive star that draws the world behind it and how dare anyone question.

The first thing that flickers throughLuke’s mind is an impossible Father?  On Dqar Leia feels a fierce lurch of Ben, you fool, don’t you dare—

When Rey fights with her saberstaff,white light a deadly halo around her hands, she could almost be another Jedi,at the height of his power and honor and glory long ago.  But Rey has never allowed anyone to dictateto her, and perhaps this is why the Force left her alone, to raise herself andlearn her own limits.  Rey is a killer,certainly.  Rey will do what has to bedone for the survival of herself and her people, now that she has people.  But no one has ever told Rey to feel nothing,to abandon her heart, and Rey’s heart holds the whole of the Force in itsfolds, her blood pumping starstuff and power.

When she stands again the First Order,against the Knights of Ren and their captain, against generals and armies andmachines, against Snoke, the last of the Sith Lords, the outcome isforegone.