#what an astonishing fucking episode tho. from start to finish - it's incredible

[starleska]

without any specifics: as a person who is very bad with body horror, thank you to Wild Blue Yonder for occupying all of my future nightmares from this moment forward 😭💔

[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews... Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (S03E05) Kimmy Steps on a Crack! Airdate: May 19, 2017 @oitnb Ratings: @netflix original Score: 6.25/10 **********SPOILERS BELOW********** Hold on to your hats... Believe it or not I've watched this episode 5 TIMES. To be clear, I haven't watched it 5 times because I loved it so much, I actually think this is my least favorite of the season, besides the opener... Or maybe I feel that way because of the amount of times I've had to watch this again and again due to interferences and general scatterbrained issues I've had this week... Not to mention all the new shows Netflix has thrown at us all at once. Seriously, does Netflix think I have some sort of chip in my brain I can just connect my account to and watch in my head like some Science Fiction film... I fn' wish! I haven't finished 'Grace & Frankie' yet, nor 'OITNB', nor 'One Day at a Time', nor 'Sense8', nor have I even started 'Flaked', 'Master of None', 'Girlboss' or the final season of a personal favorite 'Bloodljne'. And apparently there are 700 Netflix Originals I haven't even looked at just sitting there... But I did finish Judd Apatow's 'Love', so clap it up everyone. Well, hold your applause until I actually release all the reviews across Social Media and our website. Point is? I'm busy. Oh so fn' busy... But this morning I woke up to a shooting in Alexandria, a shooting in my old beloved home of 'San Francisco', and this terrible deal with the building fire in West Kensington, London, UK 🇬🇧. My heart goes out to everyone affected by this, by now it's no longer just friends and family... We are all affected DEEPLY. It's not just Muslim Extremists that everyone wants to put in a box... Nah, people are just fucking crazy, and not the good kind. You know who people in this world should take notes from... Kimmy Schmidt, that's who! All this bad news this morning had me so down I just had to turn on the show and get some good laughs and general self-empowerment, because Kimmy is not just representing female empowerment anymore (Although it's true, 'females are strong as hell!'... Proof that Ellie Kemper's Kimmy Schmidt is transcending all kinds of boundaries and taking her show to the next level. Oh and congratulations on the S4 Renewal to Tina Fey and everyone involved in making this incredibly funny & insightful show that rides waves of serious issues underneath all those barrel laughs. We couldn't ask for anymore more... But how about an OITNB crossover? And with our girl Black Cindy (Adrienne C Moore). It was truly what I needed today! Kimmy is in a bit of a tight spot in 'Kimmy Steps on a Crack'. She is literally catering to everyone else's needs when she needs to focus on herself and grow as a person, concentrate on her education, and just do Kimmy. From the very beginning of the episode she's pulled into a van, albeit after putting up a helluva fight, where she's taken to a remote cabin where Gretchen (Lauren Adams) is holing up her own cult full of teenage boys in full on puberty. Gretchen is treated like a fragile woman by the authorities she herself alerted, yet she's literally inside building a bomb in a house with a bunch of teenage boys and holding a weapons cache. Gretchen just wants to be taken seriously, and for the boys to take a shower, and stop masturbating so much... Oh, and not attempting things like supergluing their dicks together would be a good thing to add to that list while they do their daily prayers and drawings of Glorb, The Almighty! Meanwhile, during all this FBI kidnapping hoopla and hostage negotiations that are taking place when Kimmy should've been returning home with medicine for Titus' scurvy. Lillian (Carol Kane) is Titus' last hope at survival. Of course, Lillian has been going through her own set of problems... Deeply involved in an arc involving Gentrification, a subject we've covered in detail through the 'One Chicago' crossover based on the Ghost Ship Warehouse Fire that led to over 36 deaths. This kinda ties into what happened in West Kensington all through the night and today, except in a manner where the tables are completely flipped. What happened in Oakland was a direct effect of the gentrification of a building that was not up to code. That building had been put on the radar of Oakland City Officials again and again, but they chose to do anything about it... And as a result, innocent lives were taken. In West Kensington, basically it was the opposite but with the same result. A building was decaying and city officials knew of its infrastructure problem, yet did nothing to alleviate any of the reported issues and many lives were lost because of straight up negligence. Not exactly what I wanted to talk about to lift my spirits, but hey... Life happens. And we have to talk about these things and come to some sort of solution so that lives aren't lost for no reason at all, not when we could have prevented these deaths in the first place. We have enough blood spilling throughout the world for no reason, we can't add to the mess because our leaders and officials who are supposed to protect us are either looking the other way because of gentrification or looking the other way because of classism. It's a fucking nightmare... But dammit we have Kimmy Schmidt... And Titus Andromedon (Tituss Burgess), who is hopefully healing from his oddly timed contraction of Scurvy, of which all taste tests indicated that whatever was coming from his skin was indeed NOT jelly. I like where everyone's storyline is heading... Lillian must come to a place where she is able to see both sides of the coin clearly. Kimmy must focus on Kimmy, move forward without trying to solve everyone else's problems (tho she is a fantastic problem solver, maybe she'd make a great life coach). Jacqueline (Jane Krakowski) is still on her mission to change the name of the Washington Redskins, but she's run into quite the brick wall in a pseudo-live affair initiated by the jealous, corn pudding recipe stealing, brother of Russ... Duke Snyder (Josh Charles), a man who has really blended into this ensemble cast with an astonishing ease. Titus needs to never conduct taste tests of any kind of jelly like substance leaking from his arm ever again. This review got a bit heavy, but that's ok. We'll throw on another one and the more laughs, the more I might be able to crack a genuine smile today!