#when Sayaka throws away her soul for his sake- only for him to not give 2 shits abt her-

[tart-miano]

Alternate timeline where Sayaka became a magical girl earlier on, and she and Kyosuke talked about things. Which made the situation worse.

[themonotonysyndrome]

The Holy Quintet in Twisted Wonderland! (all 7 dorms - Part 2)

Now we have Kyouko’s reaction to the other dorms! Sorry that it took a whole weekend to edit this.  

Hope you guys enjoyed it!

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Sakura Kyouko & the other dorms (except Savanaclaw)

HEARTSLABYUL!

Bless Sayaka for warning Kyouko in advance about the many, many rules of the Heartslabyul dorm. Riddle’s collar would probably latch on her if the redhead girl walk into the dorm lounge, screaming for Sayaka. 

Now, before she was introduced to the seniors of Heartslabyul, Kyouko got to know Ace and Deuce. She easily got along with the two boys since they’re always around Sayaka. It didn’t take long before their trio to become a four member group and they can often be seen goofing off around campus and trouble usually follow after them. 

Kyouko loves going along Ace’s crazy plans. After they accidentally destroy a shelf full of potions in the Alchemy lab, Ace immediately suggest they burn down the lab so Divus won’t find out that it was them. Kyouko was ready to use her Soul Gem as a flamethrower if it weren’t for Deuce and Sayaka.

(Expect Kyouko and Ace to be detention buddies, often)

Deuce treats Kyouko just how his Mama raised him to treat any other girls! Though once in a while, he couldn’t help but drop a cauldron on her whenever she and Ace are up to no good. Luckily he and Sayaka are the ‘chiller’ of the duo.

Trey and Cater got to know Kyouko properly only after Riddle’s overblot episode (she wasn’t with them when Sayaka went all out trying to ‘save’ their Dorm Leader). After the ordeal, the two of them were very grateful that Kyouko was no where near Heartslabyul when it happened). Trey is relief that Kyouko took Riddle’s light chatises over how she eats and etc without a fuss, sometimes she would even tease him back. A good thing that Riddle is now more acceptable to friendly affections and interactions from others. Sometimes if Trey is working in the kitchen and Kyouko swings by at Heartslabyul, she’s his food tester and helps out with the more heavy labour when it comes to cooking. Kyouko loves it!

Now, she’s not very big on the whole social media thing so by right, she shouldn’t have anything in common with Cater. But I can see that she loves music apart from food. So learning that Cater is the guitarist and vocalist for the Light Music club got her really interested. She wonders if she can learn to play musical instruments too. As for Cater, well, he’s more than happy to teach her how to play the guitar (even encouraging her to join his club) and they tend to take selfies together.  

Seeing that Kyouko is genuine and serious about the Light Music club hurried him to introduce her to Kalim and Lilia. Kalim is more than happy to teach Kyouko what he knows too and Lilia always wanted to know more about Madoka’s friends. 

The result? Apparently joining the Light Music club is the first step for Kyouko to actually enjoy being a student for once in her life.  

OCTAVINELLE!

Listen, no one could’ve predicted how Kyouko would got herself entangled with the mermafias and the whole Octavinelle dorm, alright? 

See, while Kyouko just got out from the cafeteria - her arm holding a paper bag filled with food for herself, Ruggie and Jack back at their dorm - she caught a flash of pink walking by. Oh look, there’s Madoka! Alone and walking to meet up with Silver or Sebek, maybe. It’s so odd to see Madoka alone ever since they came to TW. 

Anyway, poor girl was completely oblivious to a 191CM tall boy rushing towards her with a maniacal girl, arms wide open.  

Kyouko is a more of ‘beat’em-now-and-think-later’ sort of girl. So please forgive her that the moment she intercepted the eel boy, her spear was already drawn out and proceeded to smacked him away - violently - like a baseball bat. Poor Floyd got the wind absolutely knocked out of him as he crashed to the Main Street. 

“What were you planning to do to Madoka, hah!?” 

Floyd could only whistle despite the pain flaring on his torso. So one of these pretty girls is super feisty, eh? He’s gonna have so much fun squeezing her!

Let’s just say the two got into a brawl that nearly destroyed the Main Street if it weren’t for Azul and Leona actually coming over and putting a stop to it. 

(Leona doesn’t appreciate having to interfere in someone’s else fight, not when their Brawler could give Floyd a run for his madols, but he really had to pulled Kyouko away before Savanaclaw gets in trouble with the headmaster)

(Azul actually can’t believe there’s someone that could beat his tanker. He thought that the other girls would be like Homura and Madoka; cautious yet gentle. Clearly these girls are an odd bunch! He would need to carefully reevaluate his plans involving them now)  

From that fight onwards, the two are constantly trying to beat the other once and for all. Floyd is living the life; finally a fun prey! For once, he needed to get creative. Squeezing doesn’t do much, not when Kyouko is just as strong and she could easily stab him with a turn of her large spear. She could dish out whatever attack his ‘Bind the Heart’ retaliate and quick on her feet against his elemental spells. 

Kyouko finds Floyd a crazy yet seriously strong student. She has no idea what his problem is, but no way in hell will she back down or show that he unnerved her. Seriously, there’s something wrong with that guy and it’s not just his mood swings. The whole mermafia trio is creepy. 

Jade wonders if his twin’s obsession with the Savanaclaw Brawler will end badly. Oh well, since the outcome is still murky, he’s fully planning to enjoy the show.

Jade will smirk whenever Kyouko scrutinised him. Clearly expecting him to behave like Floyd since they’re twins and all. It’s cute how he knew she wants to prod and poke him just to see if he’ll lose his composure and Jade appreciates that she holds herself back every time. 

While Floyd went on a very direct approach to ‘befriending’ Kyouko, Jade is a subtle and nothing but polite. Enticing her with the menus of Mostro Lounge, the colourful drinks they served and sweeten his offers with a promise that Floyd won’t try to pick a fight with her if she dines at their café. 

(Kyouko eventually caves in on the offer. Won’t you be too if Jade promise to cook you something?) 

Azul wishes there’s some way he could properly learn about these girls apart from observing them in classes or their interactions with their dorm mates. After that fight at the Main Street, he underestimates just how much of a threat these girls can be. Especially Kyouko. Fortunately, Jade told him all about his offers and practically everyone in college knows about her love of food so Azul just had to wait. 

The third Magical Girl to visit Monstro Lounge after Homura and Madoka’s tense dining experience is Kyouko. Azul is surprise to find her alone. He expects at least one of her friend to accompanied her. 

Nevertheless, Azul is quick to muster up his gentleman-like behaviour and silver tongue to try and charm the redhead girl. Or at least get her to trust him a little. Throughout her visit in the café, Kyouko hardly complain about his treatment. 

It’s only after she paid that she gets down to it. In a complete 180 turn, she asks Azul why he’s taking her for an idiot. That stumped the Dorm Leader of Octavinelle. 

Kyouko didn’t bother to minced words; she told him that prior coming to TW, she lives on the street; never having a home. So she sees a lot of... unsavoury people who try to take advantage of a young girl like her. How the conmen with their honeyed words and parental-like sympathy would want to ‘help’ her. Kyouko knows very well what would happen to naive girls living on the streets. They won’t last a night. 

And Azul? Azul is no different from those men the moment he smiled at her. Her words sting the octo-mer more than he would ever admit once Kyouko storms out of Mostro Lounge. 

The Leech Twins are even more fascinated by Kyouko now while Azul and Kyouko barely acknowledged each other’s existence. 

Kyouko has not step into the cafe ever since. 

SCARABIA!

As a favour that she was willing to do for Homura, Kyouko in the end decide to cash it in when it comes to school work. Those History and Summoning classes are tough! 

Since the aloof Magical Girl never invite any of the girls to her dorm, Kyouko decided to invite herself, unanounced. She always wanted to know what a dorm in a desert would look like. The sand soon irritates her after a while. 

The students all directed Kyouko to a spot in the lounge that they all unofficially dub as Homura’s comfort space. Underneath a tapestry of a beautiful queen famous for her thousand stories, there’s Homura in her little nest. 

Kyouko really doesn’t like Homura’s know-it-all attitude but for the sake of her homework, she grits her teeth as Homura explains again for certain subjects. The other students of Scarabia know not to disturb the girls. (words about Kyouko and Floyd’s fight quickly spread throughout college. So seeing her frustrated expression over her books were enough to drive away the Scarabia students).  

Except for Kalim, of course. 

The moment he and Jalim returned to Scarabia and a passing student mentioned that Homura has a guest, Kalim scurries off to meet up with them. Jamil follows after him in an exasperated pace. 

Having gotten used to Kalim’s random, cheerful outbursts, Homura went with the flow as the Dorm Leader introduce himself and let Kyouko talk with him. Seeing that the two were studying, Jamil suggest rather than throwing a feast for Kyouko, why not they study together and Jamil can cook something quick for them to snacked on. That got Kalim and Kyouko on board. 

With Kalim and Jamil between them, Kyouko and Homura kept their snark to a minimum level, to the point that Homura would actually smirk when Kyouko regale them of her misadventure with Ace, Deuce and Sayaka. Not long after, Kyouko begrudgingly throw a compliment about Homura, telling the two boys that although she might be stuck-up, Homura does know her stuff.  

(Perhaps there’s hope for these two girls)

Kalim totally vibes with Kyouko. He loves how spunky, confident and funny she is! He loves her quick hugs whenever they meet up and always accepts an apple from her. If Kyouko loves to eat, then Kalim can’t wait to cook for her. The next time he throws a party, Kyouko would be one of his guest of honour for sure!

The first time Jamil saw Kyouko sparring with her dorm mates, she instantly reminds him of a scorpion. How she would thrust her spears from behind and he watched as the weapon retracted and pull back so smoothly. Fast and brutal, it fits her. 

Compare to Homura, Jamil is internally grateful that Kyouko is such an open book. There’s no hidden meaning underneath her words, no need to feel like he’s squeezing blood out of a stone just to know something about her. As long as she’s not a threat to Kalim, Jamil honestly doesn’t care all that much about Kyouko.

Jamil is so used to cooking for a bunch of people at a drop of a hat because of Kalim and so he’s not too annoyed having to cook for Kyouko whenever she visits Scarabia. 

Jamil is also aware that Kyouko and their Scarabia Raven doesn’t have a good relationship but that’s none of his business.  

POMEFIORE!

If Heartslabyul was the first dorm that Kyouko is hesitant to visit, Pomefiore is the second. 

Unfortunately, Mami wasn’t feeling well that day and it’s up to Kyouko to send over her school notes since they shared most of their classes together. 

The moment she steps through the mirror and standing in front of the entrance of Pomefiore, she felt like a prey getting ready to be ambushed. 

The pretty boys of Pomefiore whispers how glossy her red hair is; what product does she use? Do you think she’ll share the brand with them? Look at how powerful and confident her posture is, yet you can still see her feminine curves hold nothing back! Some wonders what her beauty and skincare routine are to be able to look so beautiful despite being a student from that roughhousing Savanaclaw. 

Kyouko couldn’t help but shiver, her skin crawls when she heard the whispers. The boys are very eager to show her around their dorm but Kyouko awkwardly interrupted them. She’s just here to see Mami to pass her notes! Their insistent to help her out in every little thing creeps her out!

Her saviour came in the form of Epel Felmier. He remembers how awkward he felt after the sorting ceremony when the other Pomefiore students all crowd around him, praising him for his looks. So without hesitation, he slide in and loudly explain that Mami send him to pick her up. Kyouko is grateful for his intervention. 

You can bet Kyouko feel something like a bull in a fine china shop the moment they head to Mami’s bedroom. Everything look so shiny... and expensive!

Kyouko help recap what she could remember in class to Mami when she pass along her notes before telling that she doesn’t believe Mami could get sick. Since they became Magical Girls, they rarely became ill. Mami assured her that she overworked herself a little, trying to keep up with classes and training Madoka and Sayaka. 

(Yes, Vil had fussed over her when Mami told him this. He gave her a list that she must follow so she could resume her classes soon.)

In a rare gesture of thoughtfulness, Kyouko offer to take over their trainning while Mami rest up. This makes Mami very happy and when she express it, Kyouko scratch her head and look away, muttering that it’s only right. 

When she left Mami’s bedroom, Kyouko throws an apple to Epel as thanks for helping her out earlier. This startles the boy and it sparks their friendship. He promises to teach Kyouko how to carved apples when they hang out next time. 

Now, Kyouko likes to playfully tease Epel when he told her that he wanted to be sorted into Savanaclaw and that he wanted to grow some muscle. For all her teasings, she does invite him to her and Jack’s work out sessions. It makes him happy so why not? Just don’t tell Vil.  

Since Kyouko very rarely visit Pomefiore, Vil and Rook heard of her through Epel and Mami. Vil and her doesn’t see eye-to-eye due to their personalities being on the opposite end of the spectrum. Kyouko absolutely have no patience to be groomed or lecture by Vil and whenever he sees her arm-wrestling with the other boys, Vil just shook his head at the lost of such beauty.

It’s a shame, Vil thinks. Kyouko is beautiful in a way that a ruby with a powerful fire inside is, but she’s just too... all over the place to even listen on how to put on a concealer properly. 

Rooks finds her fiery spirit and compassion to her friends beautiful. Like a female warrior from Afterglow Savanna. It doesn’t let him down when Kyouko couldn’t appreciate him reciting a poetry that he wrote for her. At least the girl was kind enough to wait until he was finish before running off. 

(Rook heard of the infamous brawl at the Main Street, too. Despite not being a beastmen, perhaps Kyouko is worthy of a hunt!)  

IGNIHYDE!

Honestly, Kyouko actually forgot there’s seven dorms instead of six here at NRC. It’s not her fault that it totally slips her mind that Ignihyde exist! She hardly sees any students from that dorm around campus!

According to Ruggie, they’re the odd, shut-in types that rather spend their time with their techs than people. So a dorm full of shut-in nerds in Kyouko’s opinion. 

Her opinion on Ignihyde changes when she spotted this tiny, blue robotic thing flitting around the college. The moment she spotted Ortho, her interest and attention is immediately on him. 

At first, Kyouko doesn’t know what to make of him as he follows Ortho around curiously. Is he a toy? Some high-tech butler? Who made it? 

(Kyouko is no Rook. So Ortho is actually aware that there’s someone been tailing him for a while now, but he lets Kyouko do what she wants, thinking they’re playing some sort of game) 

In the end, Kyouko just laugh sheepishly when Ortho confront her, asking what game are they playing? She admits that she has never seen anything like him before back home. 

Ortho, off course, wasted no time telling the Magical Girl that his big brother made him, how cool he is, maybe they could all play together and etc. The more Kyouko got to know Ortho, the longer she sense that this boy actually has a soul! This is not a robot, it’s a living person!

Utterly fascinate now (plus Ortho thoroughly charm her with how much he talks about his older brother. Heh, her little sister used to bragged about Kyouko to her little friends too...)

Kyouko and Ortho become friends and despite how rough she can be, she always make sure to treat the boy gently. She won’t admit it, but she loves babysitting him and Cheka, bringing them around campus to play. Sometimes, when she sits on the bench and watch them pick flowers near the garden of Pomefiore, she could see her little sister playing amongst them too. 

Idia doesn’t really know all that much about Kyouko other than what he could find from his cameras and the bare-bone information from Homura. She’s strong. She often hangs out with those two boys from Heartslabyul and their Knight. She also possess one hell of an appetite. 

So the moment Ortho burst into his bedroom, shouting about befriending the redhead girl, Idia has somewhat mixed feeling about their friendship. 1 - he worries that she would accidentally hurt him (Ortho doesn’t exactly have sturdy frames to withstand the strength of a Savanaclaw student). 2 - he doesn’t think he could handle having another pretty girl hanging around their dorm without wanting to crawl under his bedsheets forever. 

He actually let out a relief sigh when Ortho told him that Kyouko won’t barged into Ignihyde if it makes him uncomfortable, but he hopes that Idia could play with them sometimes. 

Idia promises that he will try to spend some time with them after Ortho told him how gentle Kyouko treats him and Cheka. How attentive she is to their presence despite looking bored. 

In the end, Kyouko finds the Shroud brothers alright in her books. Idia might be the nerdiest of the bunch with a sweetheart of a little brother but she can respect a dude rocking out flames for hair. 

(Idia probably self-combut if he knows that Kyouko thinks he’s cool for a nerd)     

DIASOMNIA!

After she became a Savanaclaw student, Jack had onced told her that there’s beef between their dorm against Diasomnia. Something about how Diasomnia always beat them during the college’s inter-dorm tournament, yada yada yada. If those students from Diasomnia wanna spar sometime then she’s more than happy to kick their asses. 

While walking back to her bedroom, she overheard a tense argument between Sebek and Jack that it suddenly became a point of the two challenging on another. 

So an impromptu fight between the first year Savanaclaw and Diasomnia students are scheduled at the stadium on a Saturday night. No one really knows how the first year students kept the event hush-hush from the seniors or teachers but they managed to. 

When the day arrive, most of the first year students from every dorm came to watch the fight. 

Kyouko & Jack VS Sebek (& some random Diasomnia NPC). Madoka came as well but she doesn’t want to fight unless she absolutely has too and no one in Diasomnia has the heart to push their gentle Fairy. 

The fight was brutal as the rounds went on into the night. Heartslabyul students cheer for their friends while having picnics on the bleachers, Scarabia students are trying to use Astrology to predict the winners while working along with the Octavinelle students who are running the bets, some Pomefiore students complain at how barbaric and unnecessary violent these fights are but stick around to take selfies with their friends and a couple of extrovert Ignihyde students are livestreaming the entire thing and doing commentary. 

Homura, Sayaka and Mami are seated around Madoka. Sayaka cheer for Kyouko, of course. 

When it comes to her fight against Sebek with Jack beside her, she just told him that she’ll handle the nameless Diasomnia NPC and detached her spear to attack. 

It was amazing! Kyouko live for the rush and adrenaline of the fight! Looks like they were right - those Diasomnia folks are really strong! But other than strengths, can they keep up with her? 

Kyouko knocked the nameless Diasomnia NPC out of the ring just in time to see Sebek raised his Magic Pen to call forth his lightnings. She cast a ward-like dome on Jack. When the smoke cleared, her ward remain standing. 

“Sakura-san...”

“I get it, I get it. Beat his ass, Jack. I’ll cover for ya”

It’s almost easy, really. Jack and Sebek are evenly match and Kyouko kept her promise, only lingering away from the fight. 

Funny enough, in the end, neither dorm wins when the collision of Jack’s fireball and Sebek’s lightning ray knock them both out of the ring. Even still, the audience cheer and instead of going back to their respective dorms, they actually gathered around and have a mini-party. Even the Pomefiore students were having fun.   

With good food and drinks, the tension between Diasomnia and Savanaclaw disappear eventually. At least for tonight. 

(the headmaster blows it when it was reported that the stadium is totally trashed. After that, news about that fight spread because of the livestreams. As punishment, the Savanaclaw and Diasomnia are tasked to fix the stadium. Much to the surprise of Leona and Malleus who were supervising the whole thing, their dorm mates are laughing and playfully shoving each other on the shoulders as they fix around the field.)

Malleus caught Sebek furiously practising with his sword and magic in the training hall of their dorm one day, his knight flustered and explain how masterful Kyouko wields her spear. He caught her deftly strike away every clash of the sword from the nameless NPC without breaking a sweat. It also infuriates Sebek that after knocking her opponent out of the battle, she easily snap her fingers and cast multiple powerful spells to shield Jack from his more deadly attacks. 

The way how Kyouko wield her magic and weapon simultaneously without exerting herself had Sebek begrudgingly respect her. 

When Madoka invited Malleus to her and Kyouko’s ice-cream trip, Malleus learn a little more about the Savanaclaw Brawler. She’s blunt, brash and doesn’t seem to be put off by him which is good. Though she completely steam-rolled his brooding murmurs. She admits that she doesn’t understand his fascination with gargoyles, but assures him that if they make him happy, then by all means, talk away! 

Lilia find the fire of youths’ as well as their bout of recklessness refreshing. They make him feel younger. When he spotted how Kyouko’s charisma boost Madoka’s courage and confidence little by little, Lilia likens Kyouko to a fire that not only burn enemies to ash but is also a hearth that warms one’s home. At least for these young girls. 

Like the rest of the students in NRC, Lilia has heard and seen the fight online. Kyouko’s battle was certainly impressive! In fact, it’s a good idea to have Sebek and Silver expand their sparring opponents so they could learn a thing or two. Especially from these girls. 

Silver finds the whole secret fight pointless, but since Sebek felt so passionate at the time and it’s be done with, there’s nothing else he could add. He agrees with Lilia; it’d be nice if he could clash his sword against Kyouko’s spear. He finds the weapon’s ability to attached and detached at will fascinating. How does it work? What is its range? How big can Kyouko make them? How many can she summon them at once?  

Kyouko agreed to spar with them sometimes if they paid her in food. Silver and Sebek hurried to stop Lilia from rushing to the kitchen when they heard her offer. Although Lilia pouts, the Vice Dorm Leader can easily fulfil their end of the bargain. So whenever they finish sparring, they would all sit down and munch on snacks and drinks.

After sparring for a couple of times, Kyouko finds that Sebek is actually alright. He’s just so loud and can be so passionate when it comes to Malleus. Cue teasing from Kyouko and trying to make Sebek blush whenever they hang out together. As for Silver, well, Kyouko wishes she has his ability to nap whenever and wherever without a care. Lilia is hard for Kyouko to figured out (just like Jade), but she does know that Lilia is genuine with his friendliness so she appreciates that. 

All in all, the Diasomnia boys are the morbid sort of weirdness in Kyouko’s opnion, but pretty chill for the most powerful dorm of NRC.

And beside, it’s pretty funny to see them running around their dorm trying to figure out how to do their laundries or where their Dorm Leader is.         

-

Alright, that’s a wrap for Kyouko’s part! Sorry again for the delay. This was supposed to be out in the weekend. 

[mistbornthefinal]

Madoka Magica Aniversary Analysis: Part 6

Do Not Throw Souls!

We pick up where we left off last episode. Kyouko goes for the kill on Sayaka and Homura moved to action by Madoka’s distress moves to interrupt the fight. Kyouko is confused by this turn of events and tries to hold Homura at spearpoint. Tries being the operative term there. Kyouko identifies Homura as the rumored irregular. Sayaka tries to continue the fight but Homura makes short work of her.

*timestops behind you* nothing personal kid

Kyouko’s fence thing dissolves and Madoka quickly rushes to her stricken friend who Kyubey assures us is merely unconscious. Kyouko as Homura who’s side is she on to which she replies.

“I’m an ally to those who maintain their composures and an enemy to idiotic aggressors. Which are you, Sakura Kyouko.”

The two meguca still standing have a staredown after which Kyouko elects to back off. Homura then chastises Madoka fairly harshly for still being involved. As Homura walks away Kyubey ponders “Akemi homura could you be...” (cue Connect.)

After the credits we’re at the Miki household watching Sayaka cleanse her gem. Kyubey informs here the now full grief seed is dangerous but he’ll take it off her hands cutely catching it on his head before tossing it into a hatch on his back. According to Kyubey if Sayaka is to have any hope standing up to Kyouko she’ll need a bunch more of those. The more magic you use the more you soul gem is tainted, thus if you have surplus Grief Seeds you can use magic more recklessly. 

Sayaka notes that Mami also never had enough Grief Seeds yet she seemed to be able to fight just fine. Mami had the benefit of talent and expertise says Kyubey as does Kyouko. Of course if Sayaka wants to even the odds there’s always Madoka and her vast potential. Surely if Sayaka were to ask her..? Sayaka rejects that answer this is her fight.

Elsewhere Kyouko is tearing it up at the DDR (Dog Drug Reinforcement) machine. Homura has a proposition for her, she’ll leave the city to her so long as Kyouko let’s her solve the Sayaka problem. Kyouko is down for that but she want’s to know what’s in it for Homura.

There’s a bigger threat on the horizon and Homura needs allies to fight it. Once Walpurgisnact is defeated Homura will leave Kyouko to handle Mitakihara’s affairs. Kyouko seems bullish about the two of them being able to handle the legendary Witch and offers to seal their pact with some Pocky (or rather Rocky).

The next day Sayaka and Madoka have returned to the scene of the crime. Unfortunately the Familiar’s trail has gone cold. Madoka wants to try talking it out should the run into Kyouko again but Sayaka reminds her that the two of them were seriously trying to kill each other yesterday, that bridge is burned. Attempted murder aside Sayaka can’t forgive Kyouko’s indifference to human life. She can’t forgive Homura either.

Sayaka was not privy to Mami and Homura’s confronation in EP 3 and Madoka has apparently neglected to tell her. So Sayaka belives that Homura intentionally let Mami die to eliminate the competition. Madoka tries to correct the record but it’s too late for that. 

Sayaka then rather viscously lays into Madoka asking her if she could so easily forgive Kyouko if the Familiar that Kyouko let live out of greed and callousness were to kill one of her family members. As far as Sayaka is concerned any Puella Magi that fails to live up to the image Mami projected is her enemy. Not the wisest course when both the other girls were each able to own her fairly handily.

Madoka asks for Kyubey to bring Sayaka back to reason where she has failed but again the bunnycat claims incapacity. 

That night Madoka is unable to sleep her worries keeping her from rest. She seeks counsel from her mom. Her friend is in a tough situation despite we she is doing not being wrong, rather her attempts to do right seem to make the situation worse. 

Her mom says that unfortunately that’s they way of the world. It sucks but virtue is not always rewarded. Her mom suggest that she instead do the wrong thing for her friend. It might not be the cleanest solution but this is the time in their lives were they can afford to make mistakes. When you’re young it’s easier to pick yourselves back up if you fall. It’s harder when you’re an adult, that’s why adults are allowed to drink.

OK so maybe Junko isn’t the best role model.

 Not the worst advice for you teenage daughter for ordinary problems, but of course Madoka neglects to mention the part where lives are on the line. So it’s hard to blame Junko for how Madoka acts on that advice.

The next day Sayaka rushes to Kyousuke’s hospital room only to find it empty. He’s been discharged already and seems to have neglected to tell her. So Sayaka goes to his house but lingers outside hesitating to ring the bell, and here we see clearly why Sayaka’s wish “failed”. 

As much as Sayaka wanted to see Kyousuke healed for his own sake, she also wanted a relationship with him. That’s all well and good but Kyousuke’s injury was never the thing stopping that from happening, it’s that Sayaka did not have the courage of her convictions to confess. Neither healing Kyouske’s hand nor becoming a magical girl changed that. 

Of course Kyouko is there for her in her hour of need with some free advice. Using magic to help others is a suckers game, what she should do instead is go in there with her shiny new magic and break his arms and legs so he’ll be helpless without her. Kyouko even offers to do it for her as a favor to a fellow magical girl. Needless to say Sayaka isn’t having any of it.

The two of them agree to take their incipient battle elsewhere.

Back at Madoka’s hose our heroine is still mulling over her mothers advice when bunnycat informs her of the immanent duel to the death. Given the travel time involved I’d have to assume this is before Kyouko and Sayaka have their confrontation. So I guess he decided to fetch an innocent bystander rather than tell Sayaka the girl who tried to kill her two days ago was still on her tail. Say it with me everyone bunnycat is a dick.

At the pedestrian bridge that our Megucas have for some reason decided is an inconspicuous place to fight Kyouko shows off her rad transformation sequence. Sayaka is about to do the same when Madoka arrives on the scene. Homura isn’t far behind her as always and she reminds Kyouko of their agreement. This doesn’t actually defuse the conflict. Sayaka is just as willing to fight Homura despite all signs pointing to that being an even lower percentage play. 

So Madoka grabs Sayaka’s Soul Gem and yeets it right off the bridge.

It falls onto a passing truck and despite her visible surprise Homura is after it in an instant. Sayaka asks “what the hell” and then

she collapses like a puppet whose string were cut. Perplexed Kyubey asks why Madoka just threw away her friend. Kyouko rushes over and grabs Sayaka’s body by the neck, and pronounces her dead.

Kyubey explains. After the contract is made the Soul Gem is the “real” magical girl, the girl’s literal soul ripped from their body and bound into a gem. The body is just a puppet a shell animated by magic and if the Soul Gem is more than 100 meters away the link breaks and the body is just a corpse. 

Needless to say neither Madoka nor Kyouko are happy about this revelation. Kyubey claims that it’s to their benefit that they are altered in this way so long as the Soul Gem is intact the body can recover from any injury. Of course it’s hard to imagine he has their best interests at heart given he failed to mention any of this beforehand. The girls are not convinced by the supposed benefits of this arrangement.

Kyubey claims not to understand why this upsets people pegging it to the irrational nature of humanity. Of course once again he knows that this upsets people and then doesn’t tell the before or after they contract. Bunnycat is a dick.

While Kyubey is expositing Homura uses her time powers to catch up to the truck a retrieve Sayaka’s gem. It’s only when she returns her to her bodies hand that she reactivates. Confused at everyone's distress she asks what’s wrong. (cue Magia)

So that was EP 6 it gives us the second of our big shocking revelations. Though the fandom sometimes claims the girls overreact to it I’d say that their reactions are totally appropriate given the context of their friend/frenemy suddenly becoming an empty husk.

This is also the first time we really get to see how alien and amoral Kyubey really is. He claims no understanding of why getting your Soul ripped out might upset someone and understanding that this part of the contract upsets people his solution is to just never mention it. It’s now clear the he’s a malevolent force if it wasn’t already. 

This is also interestingly enough the episode where no Witches or Familiars make an appearance. 

[thekitchensnk]

and the spider lilies bloomed in the fall (chapter 19)

Rating: T Warnings: Violence Pairing: Gin/Ran Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19

“They say that lovers doomed never to see each other again still see the higanbana growing along their path, even to this day.”

A girl collapses on a dusty road one day. A boy takes her home.

The girl lives.

—

(The boy doesn’t.)

Rangiku leaned over and scrubbed viciously at the table under the window.

She was good enough for the academy. She was more than good enough- she was brilliant. Then why could she not bring herself to leave?

She bit her tongue and it poked out from between her teeth slightly as she cleaned. There was a recalcitrant water ring marking the table’s surface. She paused for a minute, and, casting a glance around her to make sure no one was watching her slacking off, ignored it and craned her neck to look outside. The sun was shining high in the sky, and the shadows of nearby buildings were short. They were still in the shadow of the walls of Seireitei; they stood like pale grey giants in the distance.

He was out there somewhere, out there in the big wide world, clothed in black, learning magical spells and sword fighting techniques to fight monsters.

That could be her too if she wished it. She was strong enough.

Then why did she resist?

She stared out into the distance, rag clenched in her hand.

Three square meals a day- good ones too, she had heard. She would make as much as a shinigami in a month as she currently did in almost a year- all the sweets she had once dreamed of, the fancy silk kimono given only to the highest earners at the Floating Moon, they could be hers with money like that. She was strong already, she knew, but she would become stronger still with a bit of training, and the thought appealed to her. She would be able to put her strength to use, protecting innocent souls in the world of the living and banishing monstrous creatures.

She would be brilliant.

She could imagine herself in black. Now that she’d thought about it, had pictured it, she wanted it. She wanted it badly.

She’d look good in black.

Then why did she resist?

We don't need you. We made it through before you came, and we'll be alright after you're gone. We don’t need you, Rangiku.

How could words spoken so gently have hurt so much?

It had been a week since Ayame had confronted her, but the truth still stung.

Rangiku bit at her lip as she looked out.

Maybe it doesn’t matter if they don’t need me if I need them, she thought.

(But really, she needed them to need her, so that they would never abandon her.)

How could she leave them?

Sayaka with her raucous laughter and her dirty jokes; Rin with her dignified, aristocratic manner and her endless tendency to indulge her; Yuki, with her sad smiles and her soft, lined hands; Ayame, fussy, ferocious, beautiful Ayame with her impeccable aim and her scathing comments, those scathing comments which she never truly meant. They were hers now.

She had just found them; how could she leave them now? Did it matter if she wasn’t needed when she wanted so badly to stay?

(Would it hurt, she thought, to give up that brilliant future?)

She sighed, and her shoulders sank as she did so. Her eyes were downcast and unseeing, and her cloth made vague circles on the table-top.

She’d be alone if she left; alone again.

But-

But-

(He’d be there.)

It was a whisper in her heart, a small and furtive thought which she tried to pretend she wasn’t thinking. She could only bare to examine it if she looked at it from odd angles, from out of the corner of her eye, if she refused to acknowledge the full weight of the thing.

But there was no way that she could avoid thinking of him, not on this day of all days. The trees were putting on their autumn finery; the world was painted in shades of auburn and gold; the autumn mists were descending.

It was her birthday and it had been almost three years since he’d left.

What was he doing? What was his life like now? Did he wake late with messy hair and have to run to his lectures, like she’d heard all the students did? Did he go out and drink with friends, and did his cheeks glow pink when he was drunk? Did he still play pranks, and did he still hustle at go with a hidden gleam in his eye? Did he drive his teachers crazy? Were they smart enough to see through him?

Had he grown, as she had? Did he still smile widely and inscrutably, as he always had? Had he learnt to cut his own hair, or was he stuck with it stupid and lopsided? Had he grown stronger, more skilled, more powerful? Was he still stupid and annoying and mocking, and brilliant, so brilliant?

Could he possibly be standing right now, as she was, and be looking at the same rosy sky? Could he be eating the autumn-harvested persimmons he had loved so much, and which he had once shared with her, had once fed her hand to mouth?

What would he say if he could see her now, with her long hair and her wide hips?

Would he-

(Would he look at her softly, as he once had?)

Her heart squeezed like a vice at the thought, and she had to steady herself.

Or-

Would he still feel whatever it was that had made him leave her? Hatred, boredom, contempt- whatever poisonous thing he had felt which had inspired him to leave?

She balled her hands into fists, and her nails carved semi-circles into her palms. Shaken, she faced up to what she had suspected all along.

She was frightened.

She was scared to go to the Academy because she was scared to see him.

She was scared because she would see him. They were drawn together, he and she; it was inevitable. She would see him, and the moment would come when it would all be confirmed anew.

She was not sure she could survive being rejected again.

Maybe she’d prefer it if she never saw him again. It would be safer that way.

(She frowned. The thought did not sit right in her mind.)

She’d never hurt again.

(Except for want of him.)

The sun, just beginning to set in the sky, was painting Seireitei’s grey walls pink. She stared into the distance blankly, her mouth a grim line. Pink, as far as the eye could see.

Something banged suddenly on the window, rattling the frame loudly. She yelped and stumbled backwards.

“Could you help me?” a baritone voice called plaintively. “Are you open? Do you have any sake?”

Rangiku shrieked.

“Ow!” the voice whined. “No loud voices, okay? Can I get a drink? I’ve got money.”

“Ayame-chan!” Rangiku hissed loudly, her eyes darting to the amorphous skein of pink at the window. Now that she paid attention, she could see that the pink was embroidered in a floral pattern. A woman’s haori.

Not the walls of Seireitei then, she thought sheepishly. Just some creepy drunk.

Ayame walked over to the window and squinted out. “Some weirdo in a woman’s haori and a straw-hat, Rangiku-chan. He must have been day-drinking and gotten lost. No one would wear that get up together otherwise.” She nodded to herself, convinced of her logic.

Rangiku sat up from where she had lain sprawled on the floor, and rubbed her shoulder.

“Helloooooo?” the voice said morosely.

“Should we let him in?” Rangiku asked, hoping that Ayame would say no so that she could continue to shirk work. “Opening’s only an hour and a half away.”

Ayame’s mouth twisted as she ran calculations. “Could you manage him alone? I need to get ready for tonight.”

“I guess so,” Rangiku sighed. “Extra work.” She glared at Ayame, as if it was her fault the man had turned up.

“Stop being lazy, you,” Ayame huffed guiltily. “You know you would just have spent the time in the tub anyway.”

“I like my baths!” Rangiku muttered in protest. “It soothes my aching bones from all the scrubbing you make me do.”

“You talk like you’re Chiyo-san’s age, Rangiku-chan. Stop being lazy.” Ayame rolled her eyes, and moved to let the man in.

“Hello, sir!” she said brightly, putting on her best and most enthusiastic customer service voice. “I’m afraid we don’t officially open for another hour and a half, but of course we’ll try to accommodate you. My name is Ayame-chan, and it is my pleasure to introduce you to my colleague, Rangiku-chan, who will be serving you whilst I make preparations for opening!” She rattled the pre-prepared spiel off perfectly, as if it has been engraved on her eyeballs, having given it a million times before.

The man looked delighted.

“Ayame and Rangiku! Will there any other lovely flowers joining us?” he said, casting his eyes around hopefully.

A vein pulsed in Rangiku’s forehead. Such an original joke; no one has ever been creative enough to make flower jokes based on our names, Rangiku thought sarcastically, internally throwing her hands up in the air 

Ayame lips quirked upward as they shared a look, doubtlessly aware of what was running through Rangiku’s head, having heard the old complaints countless times before.

“I’m afraid not, sir! Not until opening!” Rangiku said with feigned cheer. “What can I get you to drink?”

She slid behind the bar, rolling her sleeves up as she went. Her hands flew with precise and automatic movements to a cleaning cloth, which she threw over her shoulder. Her working nights were already long; this was going to be a tough evening.

“I’m going up to get ready,” Ayame said. “If you need help…” she trailed off, and mimed ringing a bell.

Rangiku cottoned on quickly, and gave a thumbs up. “Don’t worry, don’t worry,” she said, genuine cheer starting to enter her voice. She was sure she could handle one drunkard in a straw-hat by herself, no matter how massive he was. “We’ll be fine.”

Despite her complaints, she did enjoy the perks of the job, and getting to meet new people ranked chief amongst them. She had spent many nights listening to tall tales and gossip, getting genuinely invested in her customers’ complaints, periodically letting out an outraged “No!” or “You’re joking!”.

She was particularly intrigued by her customer’s interesting choice of dress for the evening, and was looking forward to getting that story from him.

Ayame trod steadily up the stairs, leaving Rangiku alone with the customer.

“Sake,” the man announced grandiosely. “Sake. Gimme the good stuff. The good sake. Rangi-Rangiku-chan.”

She was mildly impressed that he had managed to keep hold of her name in his sorry state. He looked as if he had been dragged through several hedges backwards and had slept on someone’s roof. The stranger’s warm, brown eyes seemed to have trouble focusing, and he seemed insistent on giving her his dopiest, drunkest smile.

But his seemed to be a well-intentioned face. And he seemed like he liked a bit of fun, which made him alright in Rangiku’s book.

She played along, pouring him their second best sake. The real good stuff was for special occasions, and she was hesitant to let a dubious pink-robed stranger have some without sign off from Chiyo.

“One of our finest sakes coming right up for you, sir,” she said in the stuffiest impression she could muster of a noble.

The stranger heard her, and guffawed so loudly that his straw hat fell across his face. She handed him his sake, and added the amount to his tab, and the man plonked his hat down on the counter.

“I am glad to see that I have found my way to an establishment of quality,” he said with the same feigned pomposity.

“Everything here is quality, sir,” she assured him. “Booze, music and tits.”

“Now you sound like a true noble,” he grinned.

“What?” she said with lazy disbelief, “You can’t be saying that the nobles go around talking like that? They’re not that rude. How would you even know anyway?”

The stranger ignored her and stretched his large limbs across the bar, his bearded cheek pressing against the cool wooden surface.

“Ahhhhh,” he sighed in pleasure. “So nice and cold.”

Ayame had polished the bar earlier, but it irked Rangiku know that the facial imprint of a drunken eccentric would be smudging it all evening after her efforts. She resisted the urge to poke him in the offending cheek. A vein twitched in her temple.

“Hey!” she said loudly instead, “What do you mean, ‘like a true noble’?”

The man rumbled and vaguely waved his hand in the air. “You meet the Shibas, and they’re all vulgar, the whole lot of them- riding boars and screaming, shooting off fireworks into the sky, swearing. The Shihoins aren’t much better.” His liquid brown eyes took on an amused gleam. “And the Kyourakus- well, they’re a bunch of ingrates. The less said about that lot, the better really.” He grinned, seemingly entertained by his own jokes. Rangiku was lost. “Once you’ve got enough money, you can afford not to have manners,” he informed her, and he sloshed his sake around in his cup as if to prove his point.

She digested this, and then nodded vigorously. “That makes sense,” she said sagely. “I was talking to a-“ rival? Antagonist? Pain in the ass? “-guy here one night who’s in Seireitei at shinigami school, and he said that the students from noble families are stuck-up pricks who look down on everyone from Rukongai.”

The man scratched sheepishly at his hair and twiddled with one of his hairpins. “It does happen,” he admitted, “but usually they get over it by the time they graduate. By that point a shinigami is a shinigami and you’ve got to trust your comrades when you’ve got a Hollow breathing down your back.” The man changed the topic quickly. “It’s quite rare, isn’t it? A shinigami coming from fourteenth?”

For a drunk man, he spoke very cogently. Rangiku was impressed, and wonder what that spoke of- a long and practiced history with alcohol, or a tendency to try and get people to underestimate his abilities.

“Yeah,” she said with a shrug. “Not that rare though. It’s far harder making it to Seireitei from a district out in the thirties or fourties. If he was from Inuzuri, then I might be more impressed. I kicked his ass.”

The man laughed, and Rangiku flushed in self-righteous embarrassment. “I did!” she protested hotly. “I kicked his ass.”

“No, no,” the man said placatingly. “I was laughing at the fact that it would take coming from Inuzuri to impress you. Those are some pretty high standards that you’ve got there, Rangiku-chan. I’m sure you did kick your poor boy’s ass.”

Rangiku considered the man’s justification for a moment. “Okay,” she said grudgingly, a suspicious look on her face. “I can buy that. Anyway, my friend made it to Seireitei, and I think we were from around that number, though it’s hard to tell- we didn’t live in a village or a town.”

“Makes sense,” the man said reasonably. “Guess you would have high standards if that was your experience.” His warm, dark eyes filled with pity. “That must have been pretty rough. We don’t do enough for the poorer districts.”

Rangiku felt uncomfortable; she had never liked to be pitied. It made her feel as if she was being singled out, exposed, and for all the wrong reasons. The increased scrutiny of the man’s gaze felt like worms wriggling on her skin.

She changed the subject quickly.

“Why were you out drinking? What’s the occasion? Did you lose your friends? What sort of a party costume is a woman’s haori and a straw hat?” she asked rudely.

The man looked affronted. He shifted his head, with all its dark curls, onto his arms, and gave her a pained look.

“It makes no sense to say something like ‘woman’s haori’,” he complained. “Why can’t it just be a haori? And even if you insist on calling it that, it’s no big deal. I suit it.”

A slow grin crept across Rangiku’s face as she realised.

“It’s not a costume,” she said gleefully.

The man pouted at her. “I wear this every day.”

“But a straw-hat? Really? ‘S not very stylish” she asked dubiously.

He looked wounded. “It stops my pretty face from getting sunburn if I fall asleep on a rooftop,” he said plaintively. “My friend told me I should wear it because I kept getting silly sunburn marks. He’s more sensible than I am.”

He had fallen asleep on a roof! Her first impressions had been bang on. Pleased, she hummed to herself.

“So what’s the occasion then? What brings you out tonight?”

The atmosphere turned in a moment. The man’s eyes were suddenly stony serious.

Rangiku reeled from the mood whiplash.

“Eh?” she said in shock.

The man held her gaze intensely for a few seconds, and his eyes bore down into her soul. It was transfixing and a little frightening. He looked at her, and then-

He could not help but sputter in laughter. He took a sip of his sake.

“Hey!” she said in alarm. “That was just plain creepy! Watch it before you stare like that at a pretty lady!” In spite of herself, she leaned over to refill his cup.

“I’m sorry for giving you a fright. I’ll tell you why I’m drinking.” There was something there, something tight about his eyes, which she had not noticed at first, and she looked at him in concern. “But…” he trailed off slowly, and sudden merriment danced in his eyes. “I’ll only do it if we play a game!”

He winked at her.

“Eh?”  Something about the man was thorough disorienting. He was serious one moment, morose the next, and then his eyes would twinkle and he would joke and laugh and offer to play games. The constant feeling of disorientation reminded her of someone. “What sort of game?”

“Quid pro quo. I ask you a question, you ask me a question.”

That seemed very reasonable to her. It could even be quite fun. She grinned. “No. I ask you a question, you ask me a question." She paused, and sighed melodramatically. "But if we're going to talk all evening, my poor throat will get all dry and sore and my voice will get raspy..." She looked at her customer with big, blue, beseeching eyes.

He leapt on the opportunity. "A drink then!" he cheered with a wide smile, "For my lovely, attentive barmaid. And another one for me!"

"You're my new favourite customer!" she enthused.

She poured their drinks, and raised her cup. "Kanpai!" she said, before knocking back the drink. It certainly beat staring at the ceiling gloomily in a bathtub, as far as birthdays went.

She wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand, and bent over the counter, her weight resting on her arms. "Right," she said with determination, looking over him. "Right. Let's get this started. First question. What's your name, mysterious stranger?"

He blinked balefully at her. "That's a boring question!" he whined.

She stuck to her guns. "Name!" she demanded, banging her cup on the bar-top.

The man pulled a face. "Kyouraku Shunsui."

"Kyoura-" she paused. "Wait! You said that name before! You're a noble? You?"

He moved a hand lazy hand in the air. "That's circumstantial evidence! Immaterial to the case at hand!" He protested. "I'm innocent, I swear! And anyway, that was two questions. You’re cheating already," he said accusingly. "Wait your turn. It's my turn now. What," he paused dramatically, "is your name?"

Her palm came up to smack her face before she could help it. "You already know my name! I told you earlier! How drunk are you?"

"Oh yeah," he said with drunken cheer. "You're like the flower. Rangiku-chan. Whoops."

She sighed weightily and sipped her sake with a scowl. It was going to be a long night if the man insisted on asking questions like this. "Ask another question."

"Hmmmmmmmm," he extended the sound for a comically long time. "Okay. Right… How long have you worked here?"

"Almost three years now."

He looked at her expectantly, as if expecting more detail.

"What?" she said. "That was your question!"

"Booooo," he drawled childishly. "This game won't be any fun if you don't give any details."

"There aren't any details to give on that question!" she argued hotly. "It was a bad question. You want good answers? Then ask good questions! It's my turn now. Why do you wear that haori?"

He looked taken aback, and he ran his fingers through his tousled hair. "Yare, yare," he sighed wearily. "I wear it to commemorate a woman I loved." His eyes took on a strange gleam and a smile twitched at his lips. "Or I wear it because it's the only socially sanctioned way of wearing something as comfy as a blanket outside my bedroom. One of those two things- you figure it out."

Rangiku was annoyed. "You're supposed to tell the truth," she complained to him.

"I was!” He smiled mysteriously. “Maybe. It's my turn anyway."

"Go for it."

"How did you beat that shinigami student?"

Rangiku perked up. "That's an easy one. We went out into the street behind the bar. I concentrated my spiritual energy into my hands, and bam!" She punched the air ferociously. "Just like that. I got him smack bang in the chest and he went twirling through the air. It was brilliant,” she informed him.

He nodded slowly, and as he did so, sake sloshed out of his cup. She moved to refill it.

"So you have spiritual power. That makes sense."

"What about you?" she asked. "You're a noble. Don’t you high and mighty folks usually have powers?" Thinking about it, he had seemed to know a lot about the academy and how students treated those from Rukongai. That should have tipped her off.

He seemed to find the question hysterically funny for some reason. His shoulders shook with barely suppressed laughter, and he kept making sputtering noises.

Her eyes narrowed. "Hey!" she said hotly. "It's rude to laugh at a beautiful girl's heartfelt questions"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." His eyes shone with humour. He did not look sorry in the slightest. "Yes- yes, I have spiritual power. Y’know- just a little bit."

"Are you a shinigami?" she demanded.

"Not your turn!" He wagged his finger at her, and she huffed at him. "If you have spiritual energy, why aren't you at the academy?"

It was a question she had been asking herself all week, put to her by a complete stranger.

"Was that a bad question?" he asked, not unkindly. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to. Who even says that you want to go?"

She looked at him, and sighed, her previous melancholy washing over her again. His eyes, warm and brown and full of compassion, looked at her with genuine curiosity. "I do want to go," she said firmly. "A lot, actually. It's a two-sake cup question.”

"Would you like me to buy you another cup?"

"Go on, and I'll give your question my best shot."

She poured herself more sake, and began to piece together an answer.

She did not know what it was that compelled her to answer him.

She had always avoided expressing her worries and her fears to people that she knew. It was not a rational or thought out thing, as far as she could tell. It was just that it was... Safer. In her experience, if you became too much effort for someone, they would just leave you behind. It was best to show the world a smiling, happy face, to laugh and to be merry and beautiful; there would never be any reason to leave behind someone who was no trouble.

A stranger though- there was no reason to hide from a stranger.

She'd likely never see him again, and so she took the plunge.

"At first I didn't think I was good enough. Or at least, that's what I told myself for a long time." She told him with a side-long glance. "I think… That it was just an excuse I was using, so that I wouldn't have to think too hard about anything difficult. It was easier just to say 'Oh well! I can't make it, so what's the use of trying? Guess I have to stay here.'" She took a deep breath. "But that was a pile of shit! It turns out that I'm actually amazing. But actually... I think knew that all along. I was just lying to myself because I didn't want to leave. Do you get me?"

He looked at her, and his gaze was soft and serious. Was this really a drunk man? For a moment, she doubted it.

"I think so," he nodded, and almost to himself, he said, "Sometimes the person we're best at lying to is ourselves." He paused, and addressed her directly. "What is it that's keeping you here then?"

A small, shy smile crossed her face, and when she looked at him then, it was like she was looking past him, to something that only she could see. "My job. My friends,” she said warmly.

But then her smile faltered.

“They don’t need me though,” she said quietly. “Not like I need them. Ayame-chan is desperate for me to leave. She'd kick me out the door with my bags tomorrow if she could. She doesn’t want me to waste my talent. She doesn’t want me to get ‘trapped’.” She looked at him earnestly. "It's difficult, because I want to go! I do! So much! But I don't want to leave either."

Kyouraku hummed in sympathy.

Rangiku could not stop. “But I don’t want to be alone. Not again. Not ever.”

The man pulled himself up from his drunken sprawl across the bar.

“I don’t think loneliness would be a problem for you. Look at us! Nattering on like fishwives! And we’ve only known each other for what, an hour? You’re a charming girl. I don’t think that would be a problem.”

He paused.

“Just for the sake of argument here,” he said, “why couldn’t you visit them? You’ll be very busy for your first few years, but of course, you’ll get plenty of vacation time from the academy. It wouldn’t be a hard thing.”

She had gone still, very still, and his sharp eyes had noticed it immediately. He inclined his head towards her slowly. “There’s a gap here…. You knew that you would be able to visit. So why not go? You knew that you could always visit.”

He was very sharp, for a drunk man.

She swallowed, and closed her eyes slowly.

There was a beat of silence, and then he spoke.

“Is it a boy?” he asked with mischievous delight.

Rangiku squawked loudly, and glared daggers at him.

“It is a boy!” he crowed.

She could not even deny it, so she just fumed uselessly at him. “It isn’t like that! Not at all!”

He was obviously very entertained. “Isn’t it?”

“No,” she gritted out, and he grinned. “He left me behind.” Her heart was sickeningly tight. “I didn’t even know he was going to leave, and he abandoned me. I should have known. He was always leaving, but I’m stupid and didn’t even suspect a thing.”

To her horror, there were tears in her eyes, and she tried furiously to blink them away. She felt a kind of writhing anger. She had never told anyone before, and it was shaping up to be every bit as intrusive and bruising as she had thought it would be.

Kyouraku noticed the tears, and was shame-faced.

“I’m sorry,” he offered quietly, and she gave him a fierce look. “I didn’t mean to pour salt on old wounds. That must have been very difficult. It’s tough, being left behind.” He paused. “I know I may not seem it, looking as virile and handsome as I do, but I’ve been round the block a few times. There’s not much I’ve not heard in my time. You should talk to me about it and I’ll see if I can give you some advice.” He was obviously trying to make up for his insensitivity by extending an olive branch.

Rangiku sniffed, suspicious, but she took it anyway.

“You say ’Talk about it’ like it’s an easy thing… Where would I even start?” she said accusingly.

“How did you meet?” Kyouraku prompted gently.

She was silent for a long moment, pulling together her thoughts. It did not all come flooding back. It was not an easy thing. She had to reach fiercely for every word, to fight down the reluctance to speak, to strain and grasp to pull the sentences together.

But she did it.

“I’m not sure how long ago it was, now. Time had a way of blurring together, back then, so that days could go by and feel like hours and months could pass in minutes. But this is the way I remember it, and that I’ll never forget,” she said.

“There was a day, a day a long time ago, when I was stumbling along a dirt road in my old, worn out shoes with the sun burning the back of my neck. It was the kind of dry heat that you occasionally get at the end of summer, before the mists set in- the sort where your throat dries up with the heat and your eyeballs itch, where the cicadas buzz so loudly that the noise feels like it will never stop bouncing around in your brain.

“I hadn’t eaten in almost five days. I just knew that I had to keep moving, because if I didn’t, it might just be the day I finally collapsed and never got up again.”

Kyouraku’s expression was a grim line, and his eyes were dark.

“As it turns out, I did collapse.” She laughed but it was an odd, soft thing. “But it was okay.

“When I opened my eyes, he was there. He had a dried persimmon in his hand, and he put it to my mouth, and I chewed it, though I don’t know how I could have, my mouth was so dry.” Her gaze fell to her hands, her expression was gentle, but she didn’t see them. She was too far off, lost in some distant, untouchable memory.

“I don’t know how it tasted, that first persimmon. I don’t remember. I was too out of it, too light-headed even to stand. But it must have been the sweetest thing in the world.” She looked up at him. “I don’t remember what happened, but when I next woke, I was in his bed. I had stolen his only blanket.” She laughed brightly at the memory. “I was so panicked! I thought he was going to throw me out! But he didn’t- he told me to stay. That’s how we met.”

Kyouraku looked troubled, but captivated nonetheless.

“I don’t know whether that’s beautiful or incredibly sad,” he admitted to her.

“A bit of both, maybe?”

“Maybe. The most beautiful things are usually a little bit sad.” He said the words with such sincerity that she knew in her gut that he had to be speaking from experience. She looked at him askance, but he motioned at her to continue on.

“We lived together for a long time,” she said after a beat.

“I have a bad habit of only remembering the good bits- the times when we laughed, the times when he tried to push me in the river and I managed to slip him up instead, or the one time I ever managed to beat him at go, when he had stolen a bottle of sake on my birthday. I remember the songs we sang by the river, the made up lyrics he added, the times when he held my hand the first time we went into town, or the way he kept me safe. What I remember most is the way he never let me starve again after he found me.

“I forget that he was a pain in the ass, that he pissed off everyone he ever met, that he would leave all the time telling me where he was going, that he made me feel so lonely, that people were scared of him, that they all hated him. I even hated him sometimes, I think.”

Her voice trailed off.

“I was so stupid, to think that all of it- any of it- meant anything at all. In the end, he left me, and that’s what I keep coming back to. He just… left. And I was alone.”

She paused, shame-faced. Something she had buried deep and secret within herself was rising from in her, something so fragile and so powerful that she could barely face it in the light of day. But she was tired, too tired to keep it back now. She had kept it to herself for almost three years, and now she could bear it no longer.

She looked at her hands, at skin that had been made rough and worn by the endless work of cleaning. Her hands, which had never been soft.

“He didn’t love me,” she said quietly. There it was now, out in the world. There could be no turning back. “If he’d loved me, he would have stayed.” She looked Kyouraku in the eye. “I think I might have loved him though.”

There was a heart-rending beat of silence.

“Anywa-“ she tried to rush out.

“Is that why you’re scared?” Kyouraku asked compassionately.

She bit her lip, and she nodded mutely. “I keep wondering what would happen if I were to see him again,” she confessed quietly.

“Would that be such a bad thing?” he asked reasonably.

“What if he hated me?” she mumbled pathetically.

He held her gaze, suddenly very serious. “And what if he didn’t?”

“What?”

“What if he didn’t?” He repeated. “What if he was just being stupid and insensitive when he left, Rangiku-chan? What if you’re throwing away your shot at a comfortable future on a groundless, misplaced fear- a misinterpretation of the situation- when things could actually work out? When you could be friends again? I don’t know the odds- I don’t know the boy- but wouldn’t you want to at least try?”

He paused, and he sighed.

“The time you have isn’t infinite. Not even here. Trust me, I know what it’s like to be working on a timer. That friend I mentioned earlier- he’s really not well. Time is precious. Don’t waste it.”

She bit at her lip, uncertain, but he continued.

“And consider this- what if it’s worse than that? What if he is such a bastard that he really didn’t ever care? Why would you let fear of a bastard like that rule your life?” He looked at her intently. “Don’t let fear ruin your life.”

He paused, and he grinned then, and for a moment, she could remember that he was supposed to be nothing more than another drunken fool.

“Or bastards. Don’t let those ruin your life either. Or fearsome bastards for that matter. They’re probably the worst of all. It might even be the case that you don’t even see him at all for a very long time. Seireitei is a big place. So why worry? Be merry. Drink. Party. Have fun. Don’t let it get you down. Forget him, even if only for now.”

He knocked back the rest of his sake, and gave her a hopeful look. “Did that help?”

She looked down, her brows furrowed in thought.

“Actually…” she said, “I think it might have.” She paused, her face twisted. “Weird!”

It felt suddenly like a massive weight was beginning to lift from off her shoulders. All of a sudden, she could not fathom how she had managed to struggle for so long in silence.

She smiled shyly at him, with such heartfelt gratitude that he was taken aback. His brown eyes widened, and his hand flew up to his hair self-consciously.

“Thank you,” she said. It was as simple as that.

She looked around furtively, and reached up to the top shelf.

“This is the best sake we have,” she whispered to him in a conspiratorial fashion. “I think you deserve some after that speech.”

The change in track allowed them both to circle back to less emotionally fraught ground, and they both seized on it.

“Rangiku-chan!” Kyouraku whispered in a betrayed voice. “You were holding out on me the whole time! You said the other sake was the good stuff!”

“This is for emergencies!” Rangiku whined, glad to be back on familiar ground. “Chiyo-san- my boss- measures how much is left in the bottle with a ruler, I swear. I’m taking a serious risk just showing this to you. She’ll kick my ass if she finds out that I let you have some on the house.”

She poured him a generous helping, and looking around to make sure that no one was watching, sloshed a little into her own cup.

“Kanpai!” she cheered in a hushed voice.

He raised his cup to hers, and his haori sleeve dragged in some spillage. He groaned lowly. “I’m going to have to ask Lisa-chan to get this cleaned for me tomorrow and walk around naked until I get it back.”

She tasted the sake and she moaned. “This is the good stuff. I’m ruined now,” she informed him dramatically. “Now that I’ve tasted this, I’ll never be able to go back to the cheap stuff.”

He grinned. “You can get better stuff than this in the mess halls in Seireitei, I’m pretty sure.”

She knocked him with her hand. “You’re just making that up. No way you can get such good sake there so easily.”

“I’m not kidding! Even on an unseated shinigami’s wages, you would be able to drink nothing but sake of this quality every night, I reckon.”

Her head went back and she laughed joyfully. “Now that should have been their sales pitch. Do you think I would have worried for a moment about joining up if I’d known that? I’d have left years ago.”

She hummed to herself as the sake curled warmly in her belly. “I’ve forgotten- whose turn was it to answer a question? Was it mine?”

He looked at her hopefully. “We’re still playing?”

“Don’t see why not. It’ll keep me entertained until we open,” she said with a shrug.

“I think it’s your go to ask a question.”

She hummed again, this time in thought.

“Who were you drinking with this evening?”

Kyouraku smiled a lazy grin. “I started off with some of the higher seated officers, but they couldn’t keep up. No one else wanted to keep going, and so I marched the long march to drunken glory by myself after they all left.”

Something about that sat wrong with Rangiku. “It’s no fun to drink on your own!” she protested. “You should have gone with them.”

“I’m not alone now,” the man pointed out quickly. “I’ve got you to keep me company.”

But he had been before, Rangiku couldn’t help but notice, and her eyes narrowed keenly.

Kyouraku whistled innocently to himself and gave her a dopey look. “My question. Who’s your favourite co-worker?”

Rangiku stumbled. “I can’t answer that!” she protested hotly.

“That’s my question, so you have to answer it,” he said, pointing his finger at her in triumph.

“That’s too hard! I can’t choose between them!” she whined pathetically.

“That’s my question!” he sang at her and she pouted.

“They’re right upstairs- they could hear me,” she said desperately.

“Rangiku’s a chicken!” He grinned.

It was a blow to her honour, and she pulled herself up with a kind of clumsy haughtiness. “Fine!” she said with a bang of her fist. “Fine!” She scowled. “Yuki and Rin are the nicest to me, but they’re older than I am, and so they treat me like a child. That can be nice, but it means that they’re less fun, and they’re less willing to mess around.” She mulled it over. “Sayaka is the most fun, but she doesn’t always think about what she says, and it’s her fault that I had to fight the shinigami student in the first place, so she’s in my bad books at the moment. Ayame is a pain in the ass.” She paused. “But it’s so much fun to wind her up. She gets so angry and she stomps around in a huff, even though she likes to pretend that she’s so above it all. It’s fun when you get her to join in.” Rangiku paused again, and a small smile crossed her lips. “It’s probably Ayame,” she confessed.

Kyouraku had a devilish look on his face. “I’m going to tell the rest of the girls you’re playing favourites,” he announced.

Rangiku glared. “No you’re not. I’ll kick you out before you can.”

She suddenly felt the pressing need to come up with a good question, to get revenge for his stupid prodding. “My go!” A devious look crossed her face. “What was so bad that you had to go on drinking alone?”

One eye looked at her from under a heavy eyelid. “What makes you think that?”

This was what he did, she realised. He equivocated and changed the subject and artfully wrong-footed her to keep her away from topics that he did not want to discuss, and he had been doing it all evening. Rangiku was young, and, she admitted to herself, occasionally quite self-absorbed, but she was not stupid. She knew what avoidance looked like.

She gave him a level look. “I’ve stood behind this bar for almost three years. Give me some credit. No one drinks on their own unless they don’t want to be sober.”

“I’m not drinking on my own,” Kyouraku insisted again. “I’m drinking with you.”

“You were wandering the streets alone before, looking for a drink.”

“Because I knew I would find someone to drink with,” he said firmly.

Rangiku was not convinced. “It’s not very fair to avoid the rules of your own game just because you’re afraid to answer. I answered your questions, and it was painful. If it’s a bad question, you should tell me and I’ll ask you a different one.”

He had a haunted expression in his eyes. “I’m not afraid,” he said, but the look in his eyes gave lie to his words.

“Sure,” she said sulkily. It stung a little that she had spilled so much of her soul to this stranger, only for him to refuse to do the same. Her heart clenched with the unfairness of it. Her lips curled in a pout and picked up a cup and began to clean it with quick, agitated movements. “I told you everything,” she said intensely, refusing to hold his gaze.

“You didn’t have to,” he pointed out sharply.

“But I did anyway.”

He sighed deeply. She took a chance, and glanced up quickly from her busy hands, but he caught her eye. His brown eyes were dark and heavy, and focused on her. She fumbled with the cup and glared at him fiercely.

He was silent for a moment, and when he spoke, it was slow and reflective.

“My niece has applied to the academy this year. I saw her application letter with my own eyes last night.”

Rangiku halted. His expression was fragile- vulnerable- and he could not meet her eye. It moved something in her. She put the cup down slowly, and rested her arms on the bar, leaning forward so that he face was only inches away from his own.

“Is that so bad?” she asked gently, her eyes wide but searching.

“Yes,” he said, swallowing. “No. But also yes.”

“Why?”

He was silent for a moment, and could not hold her gaze. “She’s so young,” he said finally.

That was not it, and Rangiku knew instantly, but she was hesitant to say so.

“I’m young,” she said, her heart fluttering oddly. “My friend was young when he left.”

Kyouraku’s mouth twisted, and something in Rangiku twisted in response. He was a stranger; he should have meant nothing. But here she was all the same, reluctant to say the thing that would upset him.

“Too perceptive,” he said quietly. “Too perceptive by half.”

She took a deep breath, then, and said what she had suspected all along.

“You’re like me,” she told him quietly. “You’re scared too. Scared like me.”

Something lit in his eyes, a wariness or a fear- that he had been seen and seen so easily- but he said nothing.

“It’s alright to be scared,” she said, and she drew in a deep breath. “But ‘don’t let fear ruin your life’. Right?” They were his own words, offered back up to him tentatively, and her forget-me-not eyes were bright and blue and earnest. “Right?”

His eyes widened. His mouth was dry.

When he laughed, he laughed and laughed, and it sounded hollow.

“Can’t even take my own advice,” he said bitterly, and she caught the self-loathing in his voice.

Rangiku’s mouth formed a small ‘o’. “Hey…” she said hesitantly, leaning forward. “Hey-“

He stood suddenly, and did not wobble at all. It was hard to believe that the man had ever been drunk. He grabbed his hat as he rose. She had not realised before how tall he was.

“It’s late,” he announced blithely, ignoring her. “And I should be off. Lisa-chan will be out looking for me, and I don’t want to make my adorable Lisa-chan any angrier than she is already. That wouldn’t be nice.”

He was running, Rangiku realised- running away from the truth and the pain of confronting it. “Hey-“ she said sharply.

“It was a pleasure, Rangiku-chan,” he said. He paused, and as had so often been the case that evening, Rangiku found herself wrong-footed once again by his emotional turns, these strange games he always seemed to be playing and always seemed to be winning. He grinned at her, and she could only blink back. When he bent down to push a hair behind her ear, she looked at him with wide eyes. “I’m looking forward to seeing you in Seireitei,” he told her warmly, as if he wasn’t running away in a bid to avoid confronting his problems. “Maybe we can do this again.”

She stumbled. “Y-yeah,” she said uncertainly.

He placed a generous amount of money on the counter, and Rangiku’s eyes went wide. He beamed at her. “A smart, pretty girl always livens up a party! We’ll definitely see each other.”

He left so suddenly that had Rangiku looked away, she would have missed it. One second he was there, and then next, he had vanished as if he had simply melted into thin air.

She blinked owlishly for several seconds after, alone behind the bar. She wondered what it was that frightened him so much that he had felt that he’d had no choice but to leave.

The last thing she had seen of him had been a flash of white as he had turned on his heel, where his pink haori had lifted with the speed and turn of his movement-

A flash of white, and the number eight.

[conartisthaiji]

In which Sayaka saved Kyouko, so Kyouko decides to try and save her too. 

warning: character death

damn i’m writing fic again 

re-watched Madoka Magica and decided to write a little something for Kyouko/Sayaka! canon compliant though, so it do be painful. 

fic here, the link above, and also under the cut~

The stained glass glows behind her as the sun begins its dramatic descent, and Kyouko feels her lungs burn.

Sayaka slams the door on her way out.

Miki Sayaka’s stubborn determination to uphold justice would be the death of her—that much was obvious. “I’m fighting to protect people from getting hurt.” What nonsense.

“It’s magical girls like you that I cannot stand.” Like, seriously? Sayaka was out of her mind. Kyouko knew what happened if you used your wish for others. It didn’t end well.

There was no point in “saving humanity” or whatever noble nonsense Sayaka believed in—humans were fucked up, and becoming a magical girl in order to “save” them was pointless. Humans didn’t need saving. Only you needed saving.

She sighs, staring up at the hospital that Sayaka had once spent so much of her time at, worrying over Kyousuke. Fucking Kyousuke. He had no idea what Sayaka had done for him.

Sayaka’s corpse, falling on the pavement as her soul gem was carried away. All that—for a boy.

For a boy.

Kyouko can barely fathom it. Kyousuke isn’t even interesting.

Well. It’s not like she was any better, was she? Kyouko takes a bite out of her apple, relishing the satisfying crunch beneath her teeth.

Where was Sayaka, anyways? Kyouko wanted to talk to her. Still does, although there’s doubt swirling in her gut now.

Another bite. Sayaka was good. So endearingly, ceaselessly good. It wasn’t fair. Chomp. Her unerring belief in justice. Chomp. Look what it had gotten her—Sayaka—in the end. Chomp. A walking corpse, her soul attached to a glowing blue gem.

She finishes her apple, and without thinking, runs.

Before she knows it, she’s outside Sayaka’s house. Her chest heaves from exertion and she leans over to catch her breath.

Hey, she thinks. Come outside. I want to talk.

She stands there for a few moments, just catching her breath and thinking. She wonders if Sayaka will even come out.

To her surprise, Sayaka does.

“Hey,” she says to Sayaka. Something strikes Kyouko as off about her—the look in her eyes, maybe. They’re blue and bright as they should be but yet somehow flat and dead.

“I want to show you something,” she tells Sayaka. Sayaka only nods, and Kyouko leads her down, down, down, cutting through the city and its steady orange and yellow daylight. They pass under trees, light turning soft and green around them. Eventually, they make it to the abandoned church, dark and imposing in front of them.

Sayaka doesn’t even question why Kyouko is leading her here. That’s concerning, but Kyouko finds that she isn’t ready to answer those questions anyways.

In some strange way, she is grateful for Sayaka’s uncharacteristic silence.

Kyouko places her hand on the heavy wooden door. It’s been…years. Years. Years since she last stepped foot in this place. After…everything.

Sayaka is still silent behind her.

Kyouko takes a breath, steels her resolve. This is what she came to do.

She just hopes that she can reach Sayaka before it’s too late.

She shoves open the door and strides up to the altar, ignoring the tension in her gut. Dust stirs around her feet, but she ignores that too. She has a mission, and she intends to see it through.

It just…needs to work. It has to work.

“Why did you bring me here?” Sayaka asks, voice cool, steady, not angry but not pleased.

“To talk. Want an apple?” Kyouko asks, tossing her one. Sayaka catches it in a fluid motion.

“No,” she says, and throws it on the ground.

All Kyouko sees is red. Her little sister, whispering, “Onee-chan, I’m still hungry.” The growling of her stomach. The hollowness in her belly that still, despite everything, never truly seemed to go away. The gleam of the apple’s red skin as it falls to the floor.

She grabs Sayaka’s collar and raises her up. “Don’t waste food in front of me.”

Blue, blue, blue. Wide but calm, patient, curious, even. Sayaka doesn’t even seem afraid.

What is she doing? She releases Sayaka, bends down, picks up the apple. The apple itself is fine, maybe just slightly bruised. She moves back to the center of the altar, just like her father did.

Chomp. The apple is sweet, crunchy, delicious. Just as it should be.

“Once upon a time, there was a preacher,” Kyouko begins. “He saw all the problems in the world, and he knew how to fix them.”

In her head, she sees her father, standing at the altar, gazing down at his congregation. “You must always be good,” he told her.

She shakes off her father’s ghost. “But his teachings went against the church. The people…they didn’t like that. They began leaving, fearing he was crazy.” Empty pews. But her audience is Sayaka, not the world. Empty pews are fine. Sayaka is there. She’s not moving. Her eyes…they’re intently focused on Kyouko.

“Eventually, he was ex-communicated. They stripped him of his authority. He continued to preach, but no one would listen.”

That stupid letter…she remembers the way her father had stared blankly at it. Thrown it on their dining table and locked himself in his room.

“So I made a contract with Kyuubey. To ensure that people would listen to him. And we saved the world together! Him through his preaching, and me in the shadows, fighting evil.” She shakes her head. “And our lives were good. But somehow…somehow, he found out.”

Her cheek still stings, sometimes, from the ghostly weight of that slap that her father had given her when he found out. “Witchcraft!” He had shouted, and a young Kyouko stumbles backwards.

“He was distraught to find that his congregation was fake. Accused me of being a witch. Eventually, he went mad. He killed his family and himself. Before he died, he even set the house on the fire. I came back to a house in flames and a dead family.”

The heat of the flames as she stared at her house, gaping, struggling to find words that never came. Orange scorching her vision, searing her eyes as she felt her heart drop.

How at some point her voice unlocked and she screamed for her family, but they never came out.

Sorry, kid. But your family is dead. Lucky you weren’t home, right?

“After that, well. I swore to never help another person again. People are selfish, Sayaka. I wasted my wish on my father, and…look how that turned out. So this might be my lot in life, but now I’m going to focus on myself.”

She looks at Sayaka, feeling raw, numb, vulnerable, exposed. “I guess…the point is, you don’t really ever know what others want. So why should you care about them?”

Sayaka is quiet, taking in the words. Kyouko’s gaze falls to the colored light on the dust-covered floor. Reds, oranges, yellows, greens. Purples, even. The stained glass really is beautiful. Kyouko always did love this place.

She looks up, and sees…blue.

Sayaka clears her throat, and Kyouko hates how she flinches oh-so-slightly. But it’s the first sound Sayaka has even made after rejecting the apple.

“That may be the path you chose, but I can’t agree,” Sayaka declares. “I became a magical girl for the sake of others, and I’m not going to abandon my morals because I’m technically dead.” She looks at Kyouko: cold, stern, resolute.

What happened to the cheerful, hopelessly optimistic Sayaka? Kyouko…

Kyouko misses her.

This Sayaka looks…looks ready to die.

“Where did you get those apples?” Sayaka asks, landing the finishing blow, the coup de grace. Kyouko freezes.

“As I thought.” Sayaka smiles, still sad and cold and ready to die. “I don’t eat stolen food, sorry.”

And just like that, Sayaka—blue, quiet, cold, dead, alive, musical Sayaka—turns away, and walks back through the empty church, slamming the door on her way out. The sound rings hollow and loud in Kyouko’s ears.

The stained glass behind her is awash with light, casting a swirling rainbow of colors around her feet. In the past, Kyouko had loved this rainbow.

Now though, Kyouko slams her fist on the pulpit. It lands on a spot of soft blue light.

“Damn it, Sayaka!” She shouts, before taking another angry bite of her apple.

She had just wanted to bring that light to Sayaka. Give Sayaka her light back.

Because after every rain storm, there’s a rainbow.

Sayaka just needs to push through her storm. There will be a rainbow. There has to be.

Chomp.

There has to be. There was one for her, after all.

Because Sayaka reminded Kyouko why she had become a magical girl. She had reached out to Kyouko, unintentionally perhaps, but with enough resolve to remind Kyouko of…well, everything.

Now it’s her turn to reach out and remind Sayaka of the same thing.

She chomps on her apple, and ignores the tears running down her face.

It’s just—they become the very thing they were trying to fight?

If Sayaka and her upstanding sense of justice had done anything, it had reminded Kyouko that once upon a time, she too had believed in fairy tales and happy endings.

She needs a miracle. No, scratch that, Sayaka needs a miracle.

And so she will bring Sayaka a miracle.

An idea begins to form in her mind.

In fairy tales, love solves everything. The love she had for her father had inspired her to become a magical girl, to use her wish to save her family. It’s always love.

Kyousuke would be ideal, but…he doesn’t know about magical girls. He can’t even sense the grasping despair of a witch; see the intricacies in a witch’s grief. Rumor has it that he’s going out with someone else, anyways.

It will have to be Madoka, then. The best friend, the one who was always there for Sayaka no matter what. A different kind of love, of course, but isn’t that the beauty of this? There’s so many different types of love. Friendship is just as valuable. Madoka can see the witches; she knows about magical girls; she is just as desperate as Kyouko herself to get Sayaka back.

She reaches out to Madoka, who all too willingly comes running to her.

“You want to save Sayaka, right?” Kyouko asks.

“Of course.”

“Then I want to try reaching out to her.”

Madoka nods, resolve growing in those soft pink eyes of hers. What a pair Madoka and Sayaka made.

“Do you know if it’ll work?” She asks, and Kyouko sighs.

“No one knows how to purify a witch. We’ll be the first. But that’s why we have to try.” Kyouko tosses her soul gem up. It’s glowing red, red, red, the opposite to Sayaka’s blue. “Will you come with me?”

“Yes.” There’s no hesitation in Madoka’s voice. Maybe she and Sayaka had more similarities than Kyouko had expected.

Kyouko catches her soul, and with it, her stray thoughts. Funny how her life is now tied to what is essentially a shiny rock. She wonders what would happen if she dropped it.

“Let’s go,” Kyouko says, recalling the task at hand, and offers Madoka a smile. Madoka returns it with one of her own.

They begin, walking around the city, following Kyouko’s soul gem in hopes of a trace of Sayaka, or the witch Octavia.

Her gem flashes, and Kyouko grins while Madoka gasps.

A signal. They found it.

Or rather, they found her.

“Ready?” Kyouko asks.

Madoka nods.

They step inside.

Octavia is quiet, at first. There’s nothing but mirrors and silence and the echo of their footsteps. Such a weird place to think of Sayaka being in.

Or is it a reflection of Sayaka?

Kyouko thinks that she’s going to have a hard time fighting any other witches after this.

“Kyouko?” Madoka says, her voice timid. “I was wondering…does this feel familiar?”

Kyouko shrugs. “It’s different from every other witch I’ve fought,” she offers. She’s not sure what else to say.

“Of course,” Madoka says, and whatever she’s thinking, she doesn’t get the chance to say anything else, because Octavia—no, Sayaka, it’s Sayaka—senses them, and greets them.

They run, Kyouko in the lead, Madoka following close behind her. Kyouko doesn’t say anything, just wields her spear and chain and prays that this will be enough.

“Now, Madoka!” She shouts when they reach Octavia. She puts up a barrier between her and Madoka, hoping that Madoka will be safe. “It’s got to work!”

“Sayaka!” Madoka calls. Kyouko assumes she says something else, but she tunes it out. She has a mission, an obligation to Sayaka.

It’s what Sayaka deserves.

Octavia is relentless.

Kyouko’s arms burn as she swings her lance. Sayaka never did know when to give up, and Kyouko kind of loves that.

But she had nearly beat Sayaka once, before Homura had intervened. She’s sure she can beat her again, even if Sayaka is now a witch.

The boundary between her and Madoka shatters, and Kyouko is thrown back violently. She stands up, coughing, and spies Homura standing there, holding Madoka.

Fuck.

Of course it didn’t work. No one knows how to purify a witch, after all.

“Take Madoka out of here!” She shouts to Homura, creating a boundary between her and Madoka, trapping Sayaka in here with her. It doesn’t matter how Homura found them; it’s fortunate that she even came. “I’ll be fine!”

The words sound like a lie. She knows she won’t leave this place alive.

Heck, Homura knows she won’t.

But Homura nods anyways, her face not truly impassive. She seems sad but accepting, Kyouko thinks. Almost as if she had expected this.

“Good luck, Kyouko-san,” Homura tells her, and then with a toss of her hair, leaves.

Kyouko turns back to Octavia, the great music witch. The despair of a girl who could have been something.

She’s out of ideas.

So she does what she knows best.

“Oh, Sayaka,” she says. “No one chose you, did they?” She kneels, falling back into prayer, into the one thing she had sworn not to do all those years ago. “But…I chose you, Sayaka. You’re okay.”

Somehow, she always found herself praying when she was most uncertain.

“You’re so good,” she cries, reaching out to Octavia. Within the witch, she feels a stirring of something, some small flickering of hope and warmth amidst the crushing despair. “Sayaka, you’re so, so good. So selfless.”

In her mind’s eye, she sees the rainbow lights dancing across the alter of her father’s church, crossing over Sayaka’s eyes, coloring Sayaka’s skin in beautiful ribbons of rainbow. Sayaka, Sayaka. It’s always Sayaka.

“Sayaka,” she whispers. “I’m still here.”

This is when Kyouko accepts that she is going to die—and she won’t turn into a witch, some small kindness—but she’ll take Sayaka with her.

Small mercies, huh.

She reaches out once more—not with her body, but with her soul.

Blue, blue, blue. That’s always been Sayaka’s color, but here, it envelops Kyouko in a way that it hadn’t.

“Kyouko?” Sayaka asks. “What…how did you find me?”

“You gave me hope when I had forgotten it,” Kyouko replies, wiping away Sayaka’s tears. “It was only fair that I do the same to you.”

She presses a kiss to Sayaka’s forehead. “It’s going to be okay, Sayaka,” she murmurs, and she feels Sayaka settling into her arms.

“Tell me something nice,” Sayaka whispers.

Kyouko smiles sadly. “The rainbows in my father’s church…from the stained glass…I always thought it was beautiful.”

“We can sit there, then,” Sayaka replies, a tiny smile dancing on her face. “Let’s go.”

That’s the last image Kyouko sees—Sayaka, in her arms, the stone of the alter underneath her legs, and rainbow lights dancing across the two of them.

In another world, Kyouko thinks, they get their happy ending. It would go like this: Kyouko can’t stand Sayaka’s goody-two shoes nature; Sayaka can’t stand Kyouko’s lackadaisical attitude. They clash, they fight, they somehow expose their vulnerabilities to each other, Kyouko begins to trust, Sayaka worries less about right and wrong. They would kiss here, Kyouko thinks, surrounded by the rainbow lights from abandoned stained glass and dust at their feet. A happy ending.

But in this world, they don’t get that.

Blue and red are only two colors of the rainbow, and that’s what she gets in this world. Two colors, not the full spectrum.

A taste of what could have been, cruelly ripped away from her by grief and despair.

[recentanimenews]

Kimi no Na wa. (Your Name.)

Simply diving into a review immediately after watching a film as devastatingly gorgeous and emotionally affecting as Kimi no Na wa is probably not a great idea, but this is an anime review blog, so here goes.

Kimi no Na wa isn’t just a charming body-swap rom-com, or a time-travelling odyssey, or a disaster prevention caper, or a tale of impossibly cruel temporal and physical distance between two soul mates, or a reflection on the fragility and impermanence of everything from memories to cities, or a tissue-depleting tearjerker.

It’s all of those things and more. And it’s also one of, if not the best, movies I’ve ever seen, anime or otherwise.

After a cryptic prologue, Kimi no Na wa starts out modestly: Miyamizu Mitsuha, Shinto shrine maiden and daughter of a mayor, has grown restless in her small town world, so one night, shouts out tot he night that she wants to be reborn as a boy in Tokyo.

This, mind you, happens after an odd incident in which Mitsuha essentially lost a day, during which all her family and friends say she was acting very strange and non-Mitsuha-y…like a different person.

That’s because she was. She and a boy from Tokyo, Tachibana Taki, randomly swap bodies every so often when they’re dreaming. As such, they end up in the middle of their couldn’t-be-any-different lives; the only similarity being that both of them yearn for more.

Despite just meeting these characters, watching Mitsuha and Taki stumble through each other’s lives is immensely fun. And because this is a Shinkai film, that enjoyment is augmented by the master director’s preternatural visual sumptuousness and realism. Every frame of Mitsuha’s town and the grand vastness of Tokyo is so full of detail I found myself wanting to linger in all of them.

As the body-swapping continues, the two decide to lay down “ground rules” when in one another’s bodies—albeit rules both either bend or break with impunity—and make intricate reports in one another’s phone diaries detailing their activities during the swaps.

Interestingly, Mitsuha makes more progress with Taki’s restaurant co-worker crush Okudera than Taki (she like’s Taki’s “feminine side”), while the more assertive Taki proves more popular with boys and girls when Taki’s in her body.

Taki happens to be in Mitsuha’s body when her grandmother and sister Yotsuha make the long, epic trek from their home to the resting place of the “body” of their Shinto shrine’s god, an otherworldly place in more ways than one, to make an offering of kuchikamisake (sake made from saliva-fermented rice).

While the three admire the sunset, Mitsuha’s granny takes a good look at her and asks if he, Taki, is dreaming. Just then he wakes up back in his own body to learn Mitsuha has arranged a date with him and Okudera—one she genuinely wanted to attend.

Okudera seems to notice the change in Taki from the one Mitsuha inhabited; she can tell his mind is elsewhere, and even presumes he’s come to like someone else. Taki tries to call that someone else on his phone, but he gets an automated message.

Then, just like that, the body-swapping stops.

After having cut her hair, her red ribbon gone, Mitsuha attends the Autumn Festival with her friends Sayaka and Teshi. They’re treated to a glorious display in the night sky, as the comet Tiamat makes its once-every-1,200-years visit.

Taki decides if he can’t visit Mitsuha’s world in his dreams anymore, he’ll simply have to visit Mitsuha. Only problem is, he doesn’t know exactly what village she lives in. Okudera and one of his high school friends, who are worried about him, decide to tag along on his wild goose chase.

After a day of fruitless searching, Taki’s about to throw in the towel, when one of the proprietors of a restaurant notices his detailed sketch of Mitsuha’s town, recognizing it instantly as Itomori. Itomori…a town made famous when it was utterly destroyed three years ago by a meteor created from a fragment of the comet that fell to earth.

The grim reality that Taki and Mitsuha’s worlds were not in the same timeline is a horrendous gut punch, as is the bleak scenery of the site of the former town. Every lovingly-depicted detail of the town, and all of its unique culture, were blasted into oblivion.

Taki is incredulous (and freaked out), checking his phone for Mitsuha’s reports, but they disappear one by one, like the details of a dream slipping away from one’s memory. Later, Taki checks the register of 500 people who lost their lives in the disaster, and the punches only grow deeper: among the lost are Teshi, Sayaka…and Miyamizu Mitsuha.

After the initial levity of the body-swapping, this realization was a bitter pill to swallow, but would ultimately elevate the film to something far more epic and profound, especially when Taki doesn’t give up trying to somehow go back to the past, get back into Mitsuha’s body, and prevent all those people from getting killed, including her.

The thing that reminds him is the braided cord ribbon around his wrist, given to him at some point in the past by someone he doesn’t remember. He returns to the site where the offering was made to the shrine’s god, drinks the sake made by Mitsuha, stumbles and falls on his back, and sees a depiction of a meteor shower drawn on the cave ceiling.

I haven’t provided stills of the sequence that follows, but suffice it to say it looked and felt different from anything we’d seen and heard prior in the film, and evoked emotion on the same level as the famous flashback in Pixar’s Up. If you can stay dry-eyed during this sequence, good for you; consider a career being a Vulcan.

Taki then wakes up, miraculously back in Mitsuha’s body, and sets to work. The same hustle we saw in Taki’s restaurant job is put to a far more important end: preventing a horrific disaster. The town itself may be doomed—there’s no stopping that comet—but the people don’t have to be.

Convincing anyone that “we’re all going to die unless” is a tall order, but Taki doesn’t waver, formulating a plan with Teshi and Sayaka, and even trying (in vain) to convince Mitsuha’s father, the mayor, to evacuate.

While the stakes couldn’t be higher and the potential devastation still clear in the mind, it’s good to see some fun return. Sayaka’s “we have to save the town” to the shopkeep is a keeper.

Meanwhile, Mitsuha wakes up in the cave in Taki’s body, and is horrified by the results of the meteor strike. She recalls her quick day trip to Tokyo, when she encountered Taki on a subway train, but he didn’t remember her, because it would be three more years before their first swap.

Even so, he can’t help but ask her her name, and she gives it to him, as well as something to remember her by later: her hair ribbon, which he would keep around his wrist from that point on.

Both Taki-as-Mitsuha and Mitsuha-as-Taki finally meet face-to-face, in their proper bodies, thanks to the mysterious power of kataware-doki or twilight. It’s a gloriously-staged, momentous, and hugely gratifying moment…

…But it’s all too brief. Taki is able to write on Mitsuha’s hand, but she only gets one stoke on his when twilight ends, and Taki finds himself back in his body, in his time, still staring down that awful crater where Itomori used to be. And again, like a dream, the more moments pass, the harder it gets for him to remember her.

Back on the night of the Autumn Festival, Mitsuha, back in her time and body, takes over Taki’s evacuation plan. Teshi blows up a power substation with contractor explosives and hacks the town-wide broadcast system, and Sayaka sounds the evacuation. The townsfolk are mostly confused, however, and before long Sayaka is apprehended by authorities, who tell everyone to stay where they are, and Teshi is nabbed by his dad.

With her team out of commission, it’s all up to Mitsuha, who races to her father to make a final plea. On the way, she gets tripped up and takes a nasty spill. In the same timeline, a three-years-younger Taki, her ribbon around his wrist, watches the impossibly gorgeous display in the Tokyo sky as the comet breaks up. Mitsuha looks at her hand and finds that Taki didn’t write his name: he wrote “I love you.”

The meteor falls and unleashes a vast swath of destruction across the landscape, not sparing the horrors of seeing Itomori wiped off the face of the earth—another gut punch. Game Over, too, it would seem. After spending a cold lonely night up atop the former site of the town, he returns to Tokyo and moves on with his life, gradually forgetting all about Mitsuha, but still feeling for all the world like he should be remembering something, that he should be looking for someplace or someone.

Bit by bit, those unknowns start to appear before him; a grown Sayaka and Teshi in a Starbucks; a  passing woman with a red ribbon in her hair that makes him pause, just as his walking by makes her pause. But alas, it’s another missed connection; another classic Shinkai move: they may be on the same bridge in Shinjuku, but the distance between them in time and memory remains formidable.

Mitsuha goes job-hunting, enduring one failed interview after another, getting negative feedback about his suit from everyone, including Okudera, now married and hopeful Taki will one day find happiness.

While giving his spiel about why he wants to be an architect, he waxes poetic about building landscapes that leave heartwarming memories, since you’ll never know when such a landscape will suddenly not be there.

A sequence of Winter scenes of Tokyo flash by, and in light of what happened to Itomori quite by chance, that sequence makes a powerful and solemn statement: this is Tokyo, it is massive and complex and full of structures and people and culture found nowhere else in the world, but it is not permanent.

Nothing built by men can stand against the forces of nature and the heavens. All we can do is live among, appreciate, and preseve our works while we can. We’re only human, after all.

And yet, for all that harsh celestial certainty, there is one other thing that isn’t permanent in this film: Taki and Mitsuha’s separation. Eventually, the two find each other through the windows of separate trains, and race to a spot where they experience that odd feeling of knowing each other, while also being reasonably certain they’re strangers.

Taki almost walks away, but turns back and asks if they’ve met before. Mitsuha feels the exact same way, and as tears fill their eyes, Taki asks Mitsuha for her name. Hey, what do you know, a happy ending that feels earned! And a meteor doesn’t fall on Tokyo, which is a huge bonus.

Last August this film was released, and gradually I started to hear rumblings of its quality, and of how it could very well be Shinkai’s Magnum Opus. I went in expecting a lot, and was not disappointed; if anything, I was bowled over by just how good this was.

Many millions of words have been written about Kimi no Na wa long before I finally gave it a watch, but I nevertheless submit this modest, ill-organized collection words and thoughts as a humble tribute to the greatness I’ve just witnessed. I’ll be seeing it again soon.

And if for some reason you haven’t seen it yourself…what are you doing reading this drivel? Find it and watch it at your nearest convenience. You’ll laugh; you’ll cry; you’ll pump your fist in elation.

By: sesameacrylic