#when sophie said “where i come from a little grifter learns to take a car before shes 11”

[mangoapple]

they mention the London crew in one episode, and my desire to see the Hustle team as a part of the Leverage: International is reawakened

[fraks]

LEVERAGE REDEMPTION 1x11 THE JACKAL JOB

- ngl, this was the episode i was most excited for. maybe. or maybe it was 1x16 from the episode title alone. but then this was a very close second. FINALLY a flashback episode for gina. her role in van gogh job was pretty small, and her part in db cooper job practically nonexistent. and now this! IT'S WHAT SHE DESERVES. though i have to admit right off the bat: i'm not feeling any of the flashback wigs. especially with how gorgeous sophie's own hair has been this season.

- that said, i felt slightly underwhelmed at several points in the episode, in part because i (thought i) knew what was coming. i even complained to @cminerva that the cons in redemption are more predictable than they were in the original. and in some ways, they are, but the show immediately proved me wrong anyway by taking what i thought happened and saying "lol nope try again next time". and i LOVE THEM FOR IT.

- anyway, let's get started. breanna having to do community service is hilarious to me. and sophie driving her around to do it. :') i know gina said that sophie isn't really a mother figure to breanna the way she sort of was to parker and hardison in the original, and i agree (she's definitely mentor and teacher, but not really a mother figure, especially since i think breanna has a little crush on our miss devereaux), but i do love their scenes together.

- AND THEN SHE CATCHES THE PHONE LIFT. this is the second time this season that sophie devereaux has caught someone stealing and made them her "project". :')

- sophie is wearing that top again that makes her boobs look spectacular. i'm very fond of that top.

- this was the first episode i watched without @cminerva, so i only got to yell vague things at her. very disappointing, that, but i probably wouldn't have been coherent enough for proper discussion anyway.

- "she said she fell in love with a mark—cardinal sin of any con." okay now i want some au fic where harry is (one of) the mark(s) cause he's still a bad guy but he already has doubts, and sophie falls in love with him before they even discover he's secretly been working against his clients or whatever. ANY TAKERS?

- "let's go steal the world's greatest grifter." gina said it in an interview the other day, that she loves getting to say all the "let's go steal"s this season, and I LOVE IT TOO. but sophie, darling, YOU're the world's greatest grifter.

- "he looks like a used car salesman's sneeze!" lmfao parker i love you and your crazy similes.

- "sophie hasn't taught me that con yet." okay LISTEN. a) he said "sophie" again. and b) THIS IS CANON CONFIRMATION of something @cminerva and i have been suspecting for ages—sophie is TEACHING HIM ABOUT CONS. not just the active grifting bits, but also the theory behind it. and i just. late nights, with takeout and wine or beer, just the two of them sitting together in the old theatre. CHINHANDS.

- harry has definitely gotten better at the grifts. he must have put in a LOT of time practising with a certain teacher. 😏 and i can say from personal experience that having a crush on someone who's teaching you things is THE best motivation for learning and doing well.

- awwwmaaaaaaaaan i think i know where they're going with this ep and i'm equal parts delighted and disappointed. is what i said to @cminerva so i wouldn't spoiler her. what i meant was: i was delighted that leverage, a very Straight show aside from breanna's hinted-at sexuality and the never-quite-confirmed ot3, finally had a queer storyline! and part of me was disappointed because i was hoping they'd let noah wyle play the mark stella fell in love with, like they did with beth+aldis in van gogh and beth+christian in db cooper. and then i was disappointed again when we didn't even see gina bellman kiss a woman. thank the universe for coupling, ahem. and it was a little weird that none of the cast other than gina was in the flashbacks to stella's life. in both other flashback jobs, the entire main cast was playing some of the characters.

- calling harry straight is a bit of an insult. he's CLEARLY bisexual. though i have to admit i've kind of had it up to here with television's fetishisation of wlw relationships. i mean, this show is not the worst by far, but. it does make me uncomfortable.

- "hey, i own a table just like that." (...) "i have that chair, too. and that lamp. wait a second! is this all my stuff?" HARRY YOU GIANT DORK. you have terrible taste in furniture. but also, CANON CONFIRMATION OF HARRY LIVING AT THE BASE INSTEAD OF HIS OWN APARTMENT. @cminerva!

- "we needed used crap that looked expensive. and boring. like... you." OUCH.

- lmao in one of the flashbacks, they're playing that db cooper song in the background. how terribly meta. 🥰

- romy as stella's kid! :') she's super cute.

- "it's not easy to look at your life." have i mentioned how absolutely in love i am with harry wilson? he's such a fantastic character both from a storytelling perspective and as a human being. GIVE ME ALL THE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT AND MATURE MEN PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

- "if you'd known it was gonna end... would you have still left with jo?" THANKS FOR THAT PUNCH IN THE GUT, LEVERAGE. so that's what sophie has been struggling with all this time, huh? figuring out if all the pain was worth it. "never define love by its length, only by its depth." i... i'm not ready to go into details, but god i really needed to hear that, personally.

- oh shit okay. oh SHIT. OKAY. i might be reading into this, but stella saying she had some of her greatest adventures after losing the love of her life, "life is about the journey", and then to have that interrupted by harry???? that is some INSANE metaphor shit for harry/sophie. MAYBE.

- stella and sophie grifting together is PEAK leverage. :')

- "ZEE parker?" 😂

- "you were right. i lost someone. his name was nate. he was my greatest score. and i would give anything for one more day with him." WHY DO YOU HAVE TO COME FOR MY HEART LIKE THAT, SHOW? WHYYYY. 😭 i loved this ship so much. and i still do. always will.

- yeaaah i wasn't reading into things. at all. that was a very deliberate choice they made in that scene earlier.

- THE ENDING OF THIS EPISODE IS EVERYTHING. "penny for your thoughts." - "just wondering what my next adventure is gonna be." - "buy you a cup of joe?" OHMYGOD. OH. MY. GOD. SHE'S LEANING INTO HIM ON "MY NEXT ADVENTURE". HE'S LOOKING AT HER LIKE SHE'S EVERYTHING TO HIM. THEY WALK OFF TOGETHER, HER HAND TUCKED INTO THE CROOK OF HIS ARM, WHILE "I JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU" PLAYS. AND THEY LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER. HOLY CRAP. SAY IT WITH ME: E N D G A M E

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Second David Job

leverage 1.13

parker AND eliot were both using lil flip notepads when they were casing the museum

- - - - -

they were apart for three months. THREE!!! MONTHS!!!

- - - - -

the whole scene where parker, hardison, eliot and sophie are casing the place and just narrowly missing each other until it all blows up in their faces? BIG doctor who vibes from the episode where donna and the doctor keep barely missing each other until they see each other through the windows and get caught

- - - - -

aww the last dammit hardison of the season

- - - - -

(Hardison drops his helmet as he rounds a corner, followed by two guards)

Hardison (to Eliot): Help me.

Eliot: I got you.

Hardison: Help me, help me!

(Eliot grabs Hardison’s arm and flips him, then gestures to the other guards)

Eliot: I got it.

Eliot: All right, check one floor up. I think I saw another guy dressed just like this one.

Guard: Got it.

Guard 5: Let’s go.

Eliot: Move! (pushes Hardison into the elevator)

Hardison: I'm gonna kick your butt.

Eliot (pushes Hardison): Stand over there!

Hardison: I'm gonna kick your butt

🥰 chaotic boyfriends 🥰

- - - - -

(Sophie walks toward the doors. Parker drops down in front of her)

Parker: Oh! W- Where did you --

Parker: Run now. Talk later

- - - - -

sophie took off her heels to run

- - - - -

okay but I NEED THAT SCENE OF ELIOT, HARDISON, AND PARKER SQUISHED INTO THE BACK SEAT OF NATE’S CAR AS THEY SPEED AWAY, HAVING NOT SEEN EACH OTHER FOR THE PAST THREE MONTHS

- - - - -

Hardison: How'd you know we'd be there?

Nate: Last week before the exhibit opens, security almost in place, but not fully staffed. Best time to case the joint. Plus, I did chase all of you at one point or another.

- - - - -

Eliot: Is she in on this?

Sophie: "She" can hear you, okay?

Hardison: Wait a minute. There is no "this," Eliot.

Parker: Sophie did come back for me.

(Nate walks over to the table, which is covered in plans)

Eliot: Wouldn't have had to if she wouldn't have lied to you.

Hardison: No calls for three months. I don't need you people.

Parker: What do you mean, you don’t need us?

Sophie: I’m sorry, I seem to remember a certain job with horses where I backed your play, actually.

Eliot: I don't care! You don't con your crew!

(the four of them begin arguing, talking over each other. Nate whistles to get their attention)

parker immediately backing sophie up? we love a trusting daughter

hardison acting all dismissive and parker IMMEDIATELY calling him out? amazing

eliot having trust issues? we’re sad to see it but not surprised at all lol

- - - - -

Nate: Glen-Reeder security system here.

Parker: And that's not the worst of it. (walks over to table)

Nate: Hmm?

Parker: The Davids are under bulletproof glass on a motion-Detector pad.

Nate: Really?

(the others join them, Nate takes a step back)

Parker: Mm-Hmm.

Sophie: Environmentally sealed…

Nate: Really.

Sophie: …kept at a constant temperature and humidity in the case. I saw them working on the airflow.

(Nate walks away, no one notices)

THE FAMILY BACK TOGETHER AGAIN

- - - - -

Nate: Why'd you come back? We agreed to scatter for six months. All of you–all of you—made an amateur move being there.

Parker: It's too hard to leave a job undone. It's like an itch.

Hardison: I put a lot of work into us, into that office. It was like my second home. I blew up my second home.

Eliot: As annoying as you people are, I quit this crew when I quit this crew. Nobody makes me leave.

Sophie: I just, I really wanted to hurt Sterling.

THEYRE A FAMILY, YOUR HONOR

- - - - -

eliot smiled when nate said he taunted them bc:

1. fuck with sterling at all costs,

2. typical nate, and

3. he MISSED THIS

ALSO

hardison and sophie look exhausted and annoyed when nate said he told them he was going to steal it. meanwhile, parker and eliot fucking smile because yeah, get on their level. they Get It™

- - - - -

the team sitting around the table like old times ,,,

ALSO hardison’s worktable tho,,, half eaten bag of chips, empty bottle of orange soda, mini basketball, etc. we love to see how this man works

- - - - -

Sophie: Hey, I think the roof's the way in, but it looks like they've rigged alarm sensors to the skylights.

Parker: I can get around those.

Eliot: Really? And end up on one of the new 20 cameras they got down there from our last little trip to the basement?

Parker: That was fun.

Hardison: Yeah. Could we talk about that?

Parker: Talk about what?

hardison: can we talk about the kiss or ???

parker and eliot are sitting next to each other :)

also eliot is wearing flannel now and we love to see it

- - - - -

Eliot: How'd we miss that?

Nate: Grifter, hitter, hacker, thief. You were all trying to solve your version of the crime instead of just trying to solve the crime. There was a reason we worked together.

- - - - -

Parker: What about Maggie?

parker likes maggie

+

Parker: Okay, look, you always have a plan "b," right? So, fine. Without Maggie, what's the plan "b"?

MASTERMIND PARKER IN SEASON ONE

- - - - -

Nate: You know, I had to ask her out 10 times before we even got a coffee --

Eliot: Coffee? I would love to. Yeah. What time--? In an hour? I, yeah, I would love to. Let me write down where you want to go. I know exactly where that place is at. All right. I'm looking forward to it. (hangs up)

Nate: Yeah, all right -- No.

Eliot: She probably just really wants some hot coffee.

Nate: Shut up!

Eliot: It's not like a date. (pulls his hair back)

Nate: Are you kidding me? You're fixing your hair?

Eliot: Because I’m playing the professor Sinclair dude!

maggie’s thirst + nate ready to die LMFAO

- - - - -

parker, hardison and sophie watching the button cam footage like a soap opera (sophie is literally eating gummy bears lmfao)

- - - - -

(Parker, Eliot and Hardison sit on the stairs as Maggie and Nate stand in the dining room, arguing)

Eliot: I feel used.

lmao poor eliot. although we love to see the ot3 sitting together as a unit

- - - - -

eliot using a tight alias and then using his real phone number? big dumbass energy

- - - - -

Nate: So we replace the rebar, reinforce the concrete, with any luck, they'll never know what hit 'em. And that, that's the plan.

Maggie: You actually expect this to work?

Nate: Um…

Hardison: No, no, you're supposed to say, "wow. That's just crazy enough to work."

Sophie: Incredibly, chance does seem to bend itself to his bizarre machinations.

Parker (whispers): That's his superpower. (smells Maggie)

in this house we love and respect maggie

also dnjsjsjjdnsn under the cork boards there are two (2) big cases of orange soda and beer for eliot

+ now parker is wearing a very pretty flannel that I want

- - - - -

Maggie: I have to check museum inventory.

Nate: Oh. Easy.

(Nate looks at Hardison, who types on a laptop, then shows monitor to Maggie)

Maggie: This is confidential. (takes laptop) You're not reading my e-mails, are you?

Hardison: No. No.

(Maggie looks down at the laptop. Hardison nods to Nate while she’s not looking)

LMFAO

- - - - -

Sophie: Okay, why don't you run up to him? Being just a little bit out of breath, it changes the speech rhythms—

[Blackpoole Gallery]

Sophie: --makes it harder to detect a lie.

(Maggie passes Parker, taking Lloyd’s phone, and starts to run)

Maggie: Lloyd!

[Mansion Dining Room]

Hardison: See? Like that right there. It's informative.

Eliot: You learn and you con

it’s true, your honor

- - - - -

Nate: Okay. What's he found?

Hardison: Oh. Well, looky here. Dr. Ernst Volk, University of Berlin, dead. Dr. Schliemann, London museum, dead. Oh. Oh, and also the three guys that actually discovered the tomb. Eliot, what does that say?

Eliot: It says "dead."

Hardison: D-E-D, dead, baby.

Eliot and Nate: D-E-A-D.

Hardison: I-I know how to-- I was throwing a little style on it, Just a little bit, a little style. I know how to spell "dead," damn it. I can steal a bank, I can spell "dead. (annoyedly drinks orange soda)

give him a break pls

- - - - -

Sophie: Wrap it up now, Maggie. You're doing great.

THEY HAVE CHEMISTRY

john rogers said that they had a fling in canon (I’m thinking during sophie’s absence in season two) and bless his soul for giving that to us

- - - - -

Eliot: You need something?

Sophie: I was just trying to make myself useful.

Eliot: Yeah, well, last time you tried that, we had to blow up the office.

Sophie: That's not fair.

Eliot: I was just getting used to it.

Sophie: What? Having an office?

Eliot: Being part of a team.

Sophie: Look, I didn't mean, you know, it wasn't supposed to go down like that.

(Parker walks in and tosses a bag on the floor near Eliot)

Parker: What's going on?

Eliot: Sophie here was just trying to apologize.

(Hardison carries the painting into the room)

Sophie: No, I wasn't.

Parker: She tried that with me earlier. She kind of sucks at it.

Eliot: A little bit.

Hardison: Oh, did she give you the speech about how we're thieves and about how this is what thieves do and if we were in her shoes, we'd have done the same thing?

Eliot: No, I think she was just getting to that part.

(Eliot puts the part he was working on down and stands up)

Eliot: You apologized to him first, huh? Why am I last?

Sophie: I wasn't apologizing. I...

Eliot: That's the problem.

Sophie: I just wanted to see if w-we… we were all okay with each other.

Eliot: Okay. There it is.

Parker: I forgive you.

Hardison: Apology accepted.

Eliot: Yeah.

they give sophie shit but they still love her

also eliot is such a sap he misses the office and even admits that he liked having a team what a SOFTIE

- - - - -

Geary: Pictures have been distributed. We're scanning every guest that comes into the museum.

Sterling: Eliot Spencer?

Geary: Eliot Spencer, (referencing files) wanted in five countries, including Myanmar—

(Eliot walks behind Geary and Sterling, pausing to listen for a moment as they walk away from him)

Geary: --which is offering a half-million-dollar bounty on his head.

Sterling: Bringing Spencer to justice and getting paid for it? It's icing on the cake.

(Geary and Sterling get into an elevator)

[Museum Lobby]

(Geary and Sterling walk out of the elevator)

Sterling: Parker?

Geary: Parker. Wanted in nine countries, including Brazil and Yemen.

Sterling: Yeah, tough choice. I'll have to flip a coin.

(Parker is working in the gift shop of the lobby, watching them walk by)

Sterling: How about Sophie Devereaux?

Geary: England, France, Spain, Luxembourg -- Europe, basically.

Sterling: France. Wonderful shopping, horrifying prisons.

(they walk past Sophie, who stifles a laugh)

[Mechanical Room]

(Hardison turns on a light on his hat, opening a panel and attaching clips)

Sterling: Alec Hardison.

Geary: Well, he better not show his face in Iceland

I LOVED THIS MONTAGE

also we love to learn more about the team

- - - - -

on hardison’s phone when it shows their synchronized countdowns, he has himself down as “big h”

- - - - -

Ian: Conspiracy to commit robbery is what, five years? Catching him in the act, 20.

- - - - -

nate rappelled in this one!

- - - - -

nate snatching the gun right out of blackpool’s hand? eliot taught him that and you CANNOT change my mind.

- - - - -

Ian: Maggie!

(Ian walks over to Maggie, followed by Nate and Sterling)

Ian: Well, you understand –

(Maggie punches Ian in the face. He falls to the floor)

Maggie: Screw therapy. That felt really good. (walks away)

we stan a QUEEN

- - - - -

Sterling: Of course, you know your entire plan depended on me being a self-serving, utter bastard.

Nate: Hmm. Yeah, that's a stretch.

(Nate hands Sterling the gun and heads for the door)

Sterling: I'll call you when it's done.

Nate: You do that

- - - - -

(the team stands in a circle, dressed for travelling)

Nate: Thank you, all of you. You surprised me.

Eliot: We had a good run.

Hardison: It's a good time to move on.

Parker: I'm going somewhere... else.

Sophie: A fresh start.

Nate: We made a difference. Remember that.

Hardison (to Parker): Where you going?

Parker: Let's see how hard you look.

(the team separates reluctantly, each going a different direction. They all pause for a long moment, then the screen goes to black)

parker and hardison are still cute, parker is about to cry, hardison and eliot look very sad and almost tearing up, and sophie is actually crying

also hardison was the last one to turn around and that’s so in character it hurts my heart

+ the ot3 were each wearing leather jackets (plus eliot wearing a hoodie underneath = bix2)

I hate the scenes when they split up and the producers said that they ended every season as if that was final anD B O Y IF I HAD TO WATCH THAT AND HAVE IT BE THE END I WOULD HAVE R I O T E D

[elysiumwaits]

Leverage Not!Fic - Accidental Baby Acquisition

Also on AO3 with a deeper explanation of where this came from: You’re So Precious to Me (Baby Mine) - Roughly 2500 words of baby and working through thoughts about children and childhoods. Heavily influenced by some internal turmoil I got going on about parenthood vs choosing not to have children.

I want to see Eliot - big, tough, punch his way out before he talks his way out Eliot - with a kid around 1 or 2. 

Nate, of course, knows how handle a kid, but it’s painful, digs at wounds he’d rather not reopen, and while Sophie’s not the best with children, she can get by - they’re just not her forte at that age. They offer to come by and help out, fly in from wherever they are this week, but Eliot comes in and tells them that he’s got it.

Hardison has to Google everything about taking care of such a small child, Parker has no clue about children that small and is, frankly, very perturbed by the fact that a 1 year old is basically helpless.

So you have Eliot, who does have experience with kids and babies, and, more importantly, a strong protective and nurturing instinct. They’re pretty much stuck with the kid until the end of the con for one reason or another, and Eliot is officially appointed babysitter. Eliot, who understands that a child at this age has a pretty intense fear of strangers and works to soothe and distract and appear trustworthy. Eliot (thanks to his culinary and nutrition skills) knows what a kid actually eats and how to serve it, instead of the bulk barrel of Goldfish that Hardison was going to panic-buy off Amazon along with a massive delivery of milk, toys, furniture, and other baby-related items. He keeps the order for some of the furniture, clothes, and toys, and adds a metric ton of diapers just in case.

And eventually Hardison becomes Eliot’s assistant in their brief stint as caretakers - Parker is good for entertainment, but she really has no desire to be left responsible for the baby. If Hardison or Eliot is around, she’ll turn the place into an impromptu jungle gym, but the crippling fear of something happening to someone so vulnerable on her watch is too much for her to deal with (she remembers the bicycle, after all, and the last time she was any kind of mentor to a kid). She’s got a protective streak a mile wide too, though, especially with kids, so she’s the one who kid-proofs the apartment, to an almost ridiculous extent.

(”Parker, is this a pool noodle on the table leg?” Eliot pokes it - it does look like she’s butchered a pool noodle in the name of safety. There’s another one across the edge of the table, and on all the corners.

“Yeah, kid can barely walk, he could fall and crack his head on the table. I also stole a helmet. Do you think he needs a helmet?” Parker gestures at a backpack by the door, outside of the baby gate they’re using to block off the living room from the kitchen. Eliot can probably safely assume that’s where the stolen helmet is.

He looks back at Parker, who’s sitting in front of the bookshelf with books on the floor around her in stacks. He notices belatedly she’s got a drill in one hand, one of his. “Are you screwing that into the wall?”

Parker throws up her hands, glares at him like he’s said something horribly offensive. “What if it falls, Eliot?! He’s tiny! The hysterical strength response doesn’t happen in toddlers!”

There’s two packs of those outlet covers on the coffee table too, and Eliot decides then and there that the apartment has probably seen worse. He’ll let Parker do as she pleases.)

Hardison is also really good at entertainment, and can do high chairs and naptime and playing while Eliot’s out doing Eliot-things that only Eliot can do. He can put the kid to sleep, but he can’t transfer him, meaning that he’s pretty well stuck under him in a rocking chair for an hour and a half to two hours. He gripes about it, but he doesn’t mind, not really - he likes the feeling of something small and practically helpless trusting him enough to use him as a pillow, relaxes in the calm of the gentle scientifically-proven-to-be-relaxing lullabies playing through the speaker, remembers doing this with a couple of the other kids that Nana fostered for a short time. He usually ends up falling into a light sleep, too. He knows how to be a caretaker in theory, and could easily work up the ability to be a parent - he studied early childhood development, after all - and now that the initial panic of surprise baby acquisition is over, he can handle this.

Parker, quiet as ever, doesn’t know how to feel about Hardison holding a baby, gentle and sweet - she doesn’t want kids, but she wants Hardison to have everything he wants out of life, and she worries that maybe being with her is denying him something.

They talk about it, later, of course. Hardison easily figures out that something’s bugging her, and she comes clean about her insecurities and how she knows that she’s not the type of person that can raise a child and have that child come out healthy, whole, and normal.

(“I don’t even think I want to try.”

Hardison turns in his chair. She loves that about him, the way that he gives her his full attention every chance he gets, even when he’s in the middle of a game. “That’s okay. I’m not gonna ask you to.”

“Do you want kids?” Parker asks, and listens with one ear to the distant, almost-unintelligible sounds of Eliot singing Journey and walking across the floor of the guest bedroom that’s serving as a nursery.

Hardison blows out a soft sigh - it’s not his annoyed one, she’s learned, it’s his thinking sigh. “I don’t… know. Maybe? I don’t know. We don’t exactly lead a stable kind of life.” He gestures at his computer, presumably to encompass all of his illegal activities.

Parker’s quiet for a moment. “I’m not a mom, Hardison. I never even had a mom. I could be an aunt, maybe? What do aunts do? Archie worked for me, but not every kid needs an Archie.”

“Parker,” Hardison says, in that gentle and loving tone, “Being a parent is all about loving them and doing your best. There are books and stuff out there. If you ever decide you want to, and if you don’t want to, that’s okay, too. Hell, someday we might adopt baby grifters just like Nate and Sophie did.” He reaches, grabs her hand where it rests on the desk. “You’re… you and Eliot are enough for me, okay? So, if you ever decide that having a kid is something you want, then I’ll be here. He’ll be here. And if you never want a kid, then I’ll still be here, and he will too.” 

Parker can breathe a little easier after that, but it makes her think.)

Hardison knows she could do it if she wanted to - thinks about how much she wants to do the right thing, about Serbian orphans, about a kid stealing cars to survive, making sure kids didn’t get their Christmas ruined by arrests. He knows that Parker can do anything she wants to, learns new skills and concepts with an intense, single-minded focus. Any child she chose to have would be the best-protected kid in the world. 

Growing up with the three of them would probably end up in a strangely competent and paranoid kid, but ultimately a pretty well-adjusted one. He wonders briefly about what a baby of theirs would look like, if it would be a little girl wreaking havoc at a computer or a little boy climbing through vents. Maybe more straight-and-legal with tech summer camps and ballet or gymnastics.

He thinks about it, lets himself want it for a moment while he gently rocks a sleeping baby that isn’t theirs, one that they’re protecting just long enough to get home. Hardison adds it to the “maybe someday” list, the “pretzel” list, where it’s there if Parker wants it, and only if Parker wants it.

But it’s Eliot who is good at walking the kid to sleep and actually getting him into a crib/bed, Eliot singing classic rock and country songs as lullabies, Eliot who patiently sits through overtired tantrums, Eliot who can understand and respond to the baby babble interspersed with random words. After a few days, Eliot is the one that the baby cries and reaches for. He’s the one getting up with him at four in the morning, long past his not-safe-enough-to-sleep days where he only slept 90 minutes a night. Now he tries valiantly to listen to the baby play on the floor (completely safely thanks to Parker’s intense baby-proofing) while laying on the couch with his eyes closed.

And so it goes, for about a week and a half, maybe two. They manage to run the con and balance pseudo-parenting - Hardison does most of his work from the van, after all, and he’s not above handing the kid an iPad with a YouTube playlist of Mother Goose Club in the name of keeping his family safe (Eliot, even in the middle of fighting off hired guns, bitches mightily about screen time and child development). At one point, Parker spends a terrifying (to her) hour alone with a baby that is fast asleep, while Hardison does some intense hacking and Eliot does some good old-fashioned B&E to send a message. 

The day comes that the con works. The mother is freed and can return to her life, now that she’s not being hunted or threatened. Eliot, Parker, and Hardison have to say goodbye to this tiny human that they’ve grown super attached to. No one cries - not even the baby. It’s part of the job, never mind that they have an apartment full of baby stuff now and a year’s worth of diapers they don’t need. They hug the baby, they hug the mom. Eliot holds on a little tighter and longer than Hardison, and Parker holds the baby just for a moment, just long enough, before passing him back. 

And then they walk away - job is done, after all. 

Hardison’s gonna miss the kid, but in that way where he got attached but he can let go easily enough. It wasn’t his kid, it was never his kid, and he made himself remember that so he didn’t get too attached. 

Parker is quiet. The baby had reached for her, just once, and she’d given him the hug he wanted. She doesn’t know how to feel about any of this, so she makes the choice to stuff it in a box in her mind, where she can open it slowly and pick things out one-by-one.

Eliot, though, Eliot doesn’t look like he’s processing it well, which is actually pretty expected - Hardison knows a lot about psychology and even more about Eliot, after all, and Eliot in another life was a family man, Eliot in another life was a strict but fun dad, Eliot in another life made PB&J sandwiches and played soccer in the mud in the backyard. 

Eliot in this life, though, isn’t the marrying kind - he’s made a promise, after all, “‘til my dying day,” and that’s probably as close to commitment as Eliot Spencer will ever get. He’s chosen his path, walked it since he was 18 and signing up for the army, has spent close to fifteen years choosing it again and again. This is where he stands his ground, with Parker and Hardison, and there’s no room for some suburban house with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids. He’d wanted that back in another life, with Aimee, thought about it again with Kaye Lynn in their passing moment together. It was never even on the table with Mikel. He can’t drag some poor woman into his life, into what he’s done - he can’t have a relationship with a “civilian,” not without unintentionally grifting. He doesn’t want to build something on lies, doesn’t want to bring a kid into the world and expose it to the ghosts that haunt him from the past.

Besides, he doesn’t think he could even begin to fall in love with, let alone trust, someone that isn’t Parker and Hardison. In another life, where he’d never met them, maybe he could have had that. But here he is, for better or for worse, ‘til his dying day, just as good as any official wedding vow he’s ever heard.

(“It’s not something we can do,” Hardison says later, in the quiet of a closed bar. Parker is somewhere, dangling off of roofs and recovering from the overwhelming sensation of emotions. “It just isn’t. We can’t… you’re wanted in like five countries-”

“Seven,” Eliot corrects automatically. “Well, maybe eight.”

“Parker’s wanted in nine, and I’m just… wanted. In a lot of places.” Hardison taps the table. “It wouldn’t be… we’d be giving a kid a life of crime from the very beginning. And if certain people found out, the kid would be in danger literally all the time.”

Eliot nods and doesn’t say anything. “You and I know that, but…” 

A beat. They think of Parker and Serbian orphans, Parker and Christmas, Parker and a look of astonishment and joy for a split second as a baby reaches for her to say goodbye.

“If she decides it’s something she wants,” Eliot says slowly, softly. “And only if she decides it’s something she wants, we’ll make it work.”

“I got lots of identities,” Hardison agrees. “We could go straight if we wanted to.”

Eliot takes a drink of his beer. “We’ll donate what we’ve got upstairs,” he says - the furniture, the diapers, the sippy cups, the toys, all of it can be used by another kid. “And if she brings it up, we’ll deal with it then.”

“Pretzels,” Hardison agrees.)

Somewhere on a rooftop in Portland, in the gray and the misting rain of the Pacific Northwest, Parker dangles her feet over the edge and allows herself to think. She thinks of foster homes and stuffed bunnies, of bicycles and Haagen Dazs. She wonders how many other kids there are out there like her, picking pockets and surviving day-by-day, waiting for an Archie if they’re lucky. She remembers wanting a “real family” at one point, remembers the bone-deep longing of it back when she was young and alone, back when she was stealing cars, back when she wasn’t rich and wasn’t a master thief and wasn’t one of the good guys.

There’s potential, there, she thinks, in the same analytical way that she processes cons and jobs and plans. She’d have to shift her plans, that’s for sure. It’s all hypothetical anyway - it can sit with her awhile, and she can figure out if she’d like this particular bowl of pretzels or not in as much as time as she wants to take.

Potential, though. Daydreams. What has been, what could have been, and what still might be.

[averydistinctiveteam]

Chapter 3

Word Count: 1519

Triggers: None?

A/N: Thank you all for the really nice asks, replies, messages, etc. I really appreciate it. I’m not going to stop the story until I’ve written everyone in, I feel like I owe you that much, and then I’ll decide if I want to continue it or if it’s too stressful or whatever. Again, super sorry about me being weird lol, so here’s chapter 3

“Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me.”

“Look, I’m sorry that it didn’t go as planned, but you still owe all of us the money you said you were going to pay us,” Luke was irritated, sure, and frustrated that he hadn’t gotten the job done, but it wasn’t his fault.

“None of you are getting paid until I get my painting, ok?”

Caro rolled her eyes. “Fine, how the hell do you expect to get it back then? We don’t even know who took it!”

“Oh, you might not, but I certainly do.” His mischievous smile set all of them on edge. He sat back at his computer and typed away for a while before coming back to the rest of his crew.

“This is Leverage Inc. They’ve been smearing the name of thievery since around 2008. Since then they’ve expanded so now they’re all around the country making everyone’s lives miserable. While you two were monkeying around and NOT getting the painting, I was actually being useful. I hacked their databases and they don’t even know it yet. This,” He pulled up a picture of a young woman. She was tall and had long light brown hair. “This is Irene Ellis. Not a pro hacker, wannabe hacktivist, overall nerd. She’s the hacker in the local branch of Leverage. I’ll take care of her, since you clearly can’t,” he addressed Luke who glared at him. “This,” he then pulled up security footage of a short woman hitting a punching bag and a man approaching her. “This is Levada Sinclair. She’s their team’s hitter, and trained until Eliot Spencer, you probably know him. Caro, you might be able to take her, who knows.” Caro cracked her knuckles. Was this punk for real? “This is Moriah, infamous grifter, almost as good as Sophie Devereaux, but not. Definitely better than you, Julie.”

“Ok, hold up,” Julie said cutting him off. “I swear, you say another shitty thing about us and I’m walking out. You can grift your own damn self.” Her arms were crossed and she had a look on her face that meant business. Caro stepped behind her and followed suit. Luke looked at the girls for a second and then scurried over to stand behind them.

“Oh, well isn’t this cute. I’m paying you, remember? Now just do your damn jobs.” Julie didn’t want to give in, but she rolled her eyes and backed down. “Now, I have a plan, but you all need to actually do your jobs well for it to work…”

“Why exactly do I have to climb through the ventilation shaft again?” Luke grumbled into his com.

“Because I didn’t want to and you lost the coin toss,” Caro replied, smirking. Luke huffed and continued climbing until he got to the right room.

“How much time is Julie giving us?” “Not much, like two minutes at most, so hurry up.” Luke took a deep breath and slid the replacement painting off of his back. If this worked, then maybe they’d all get the handsome fee they were owed and he’d never have to see that dirty, lying, cheating…

“Ok, she’s in position, go!” Caro’s words jerked him out of his train of thought so he quickly removed the grating and lowered himself into the room. He located the painting and then switched it out with the fake. “Get out now! Miscalculation! They’re heading back sooner than we expected!” Luke dropped the fake painting about where he thought the real painting had been laying and scrambled back up the shaft and out the back of the building. He handed the painting to Caro and wiped his brow. Caro looked over the painting and nodded.

“We’ll pick Julie back up when she’s done “playing her part”,” Caro said, walking towards the car. “You’re sure the cameras didn’t pick us up?”

“Yeah, I just had them loop the last three hours when nothing was happening,” Luke replied, getting into the passenger side. “And now, it’s time to get paid.” Caro rolled her eyes at her brother and drove off. This team would never know what hit them.

It turned out that they realized very quickly that something had gone wrong.

“That’s not the same painting that you sent me a picture of,” Becca said, “I mean, it’s clearly a forgery, the signature isn’t even in the right place. The person who did this was in a hurry.”

“How the hell did someone steal the real painting? We only left it alone when…” Arlana trailed off and then looked at Nate. They both thought of the same thing at the same time. “She was a grifter.”

“Stay here,” Arlana said to the group before she and Nate bolted out. When they went back outside, there was no woman, no car, and no helpful patron. Arlana quickly turned around and went back inside, zeroing in on the patron they had seen earlier. “Excuse me, sir?” he set his weights down and looked up at her. “We were wondering what happened with the woman you were helping earlier?”

“Oh, once you guys went inside she said she had like a brother or something that was coming to pick her up. She said she didn’t want to bother me and told me to go back inside, so I did.” He shrugged. “Why did something happen to her?” Arlana sighed.

“No, no, you’re fine,” she said, walking off.

“So there’s another crew in town?” Nate said. Arlana gritted her teeth.

“Not for long.”

While they were out, Hardison noticed something off about the company’s system.

“Oh no.” How had he missed this before? Irene took a second look at her computer as well, trying to decipher the drunken hack that had been going on right under their noses. Hardison had to find Nate or Parker. “Guys! Guys, I think I know who hacked us, who stole the painting, the whole 9 yards,” Hardison said, catching up with Nate and Arlana.

“What do you want, Hardison?”

“Colin, you know damn well what we want, now give it back.”

“Oh, Hardison, you’re going to have to try harder than that.” He tsked and then shut down the video feed. “Got the painting?” he asked as Caro and Luke entered the warehouse. Luke held it up high so he could see it. “Yes, the money’ll be wired into your accounts.”

“It better be, nerd,” Caro said, picking up her jacket. “Don’t think you can double cross us and get away with it.” He brushed off the threat and examined his painting. This was a successful job. Maybe he could use one of them in the future.

“Colin Mason, more commonly known as his hacker alias “Chaos.” Trust me, he’s only a little smarter than he seems.”

“And cocky as all hell. If ya see him don’t hesitate to punch him.” Eliot added to Hardison’s briefing. Hardison nodded.

“From what we can tell, he’s using Caro and Luke Grayback, both of them are extremely talented thieves, Luke is very proficient when it comes to hacking, Caro, when it comes to hitting, and they’re also using Julie Mason, no relation. She’s the grifter and we think she’s the woman who pretended to have car trouble earlier. They’re all really good at their jobs, so make sure you’re vigilant when we get this painting back.”

“And remember,” Nate interjected, “Chaos is smart. He’ll have contingency plans, we just have to prepare for them.” Moriah raised her hand.

“Couldn’t we just track them and do a smash and grab?” “No.” Arlana said, flipping through paperwork. “They know we’re here, and now we’re pretty sure they know that we know. So all we have to do is….”

“Wait, I though Chaos worked alone? Why would he have a team now?” Jesse asked.  

“Well actually, when we first met him, he was with a team, as well,” Sophie said, “Thieves working with other thieves isn’t very common, most of us like to work alone, but sometimes especially if you’re tryig to pull off a really big job, like this one, you hire out some of the work. For example, Chaos can’t punch to save his life, so he hires Caro Grayback to do it for him.” “And then once the team has done its job, they get paid and then disperse.” Nate finished.

“Guess ya learn somethin’ new every day,” Lavada said. “So, if it’s not a smash ‘n grab, how’re we getting the painting back?”

“We haven’t gotten that far, but we’ll think of something on the way.” Arlana said, grabbing a set of keys off the table and walking to the back door. “Always good to see you, Becca, thank you so much!” Becca rolled her eyes as the back room empties.

“Sometimes, I’m curious about what they’re doing, and then I remember that I don’t want to know,” she said to herself, shaking her head slightly. She knew she was going to get dragged into this mess in one way or another later, she was just glad she could relax until then.