#which apparently Alfred completely disregarded (rude)

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

In light of recent events (Gotham War), I think

Jason should

Do something of this nature again.

Batman (1940-) #648 / Batman: Under the Red Hood

[jilliancares]

A Royal Pain: Chapter 8.5

Word Count: 1.3k

link to masterlist ; next chapter

ao3 or wattpad!

this is just another lil mini between chapters update to hopefully tide you over until saturday! maybe now you’ll all forgive me for that cliffhanger?

CHAPTER EIGHT (AND A HALF)

Dear Dan,

Do you remember the time we first met?

I do. I think you hated me.

You've always been stubborn. When we first met you were so determined to not like me. Competing with you has always been fun, which I suppose is why I wanted to beat you at your own game, wanted to make you like me.

It'd been my first time out of Leona. At the ripe age of eight years old my father had decided that I was old enough to visit our neighbor, Hirona. Our kingdoms have been allied since about forever, so the journey was nothing more than pretenses and, more importantly, vacation. For me, it'd been the most exciting thing in my life.

It was crazy to me how once we passed the border everything changed. The accents changed, the land changed—even the architecture changed! I was astounded and amazed, and I hadn't even met you yet!

Once we arrived, my father went off to talk to yours about boring old country affairs, and I was left to explore the garden. Being an eight-year-old, this seemed like a great opportunity, and I took to exploring with reckless abandon. Your garden was much bigger than the one I had back in Leona, and I especially liked the towering hedges. Which, apparently, you did as well. After all, the garden was where I first met you.

You were torturing some poor guard, dragging him along with you (as if it wasn't his job to follow the young Prince around everywhere already) and insisting he do whatever you wanted.

"You have to find me the best rock, Alfred," I remember you saying, your chin tilted upward imperiously, though you were much shorter than the guard. "For my rock collection."

"Yes, Your Highness."

Excited to see another kid my age, I plunged forward to meet you.

"Who are you?" you demanded as soon as you saw me, crossing your arms tightly over your chest. I pretended not to notice as you shuffled slightly behind your guard.

"I'm Prince Phillip," I said brightly. You had scoffed, looking as if I'd told you I was a frog.

"I'm the Prince," you sneered.

"I'm the Prince of Leona," I then corrected. You just glared at me. I'm pretty sure you'd never even talked to a kid your age before, and yet for some reason I was determined to become your friend.

"Well then why are you in Hirona?" you'd demanded.

"My father is talking to yours about our ah-lie-ance," I pronounced carefully. I can remember quite clearly that my father had taught me that word on the journey to Hirona, and I'd felt like a genius saying it to you.

You then turned up your nose at me. "I don't think it'll work out," you answered. I'm pretty sure you were just trying to say something mean, not even sure what that alliance thing I'd mentioned even was.

"What's your name?" I had asked, disregarding you completely. You looked affronted, but you also didn't hesitate to answer. I think you were as fascinated by me as I was by you. After all, I was not only a little boy, the same age as you, I was also a prince.

"Daniel," you answered. I nodded.

"Dan," I responded. Your face practically went purple! I remember now! It'd taken all my effort not to laugh at the look on your face!

"That's not my name!" you'd said shrilly. The guard behind you had seemed amused (and also a little relieved that you'd been distracted—I assume he was tired of having to occupy your [demanding] attention).

"It's in your name," I argued.

“I—but—!” you yelled, looking infuriated. "Then I'll call you /Phil/," you spat.

"That's what all my friends call me," I responded pleasantly.

"Then I'll call you Philip," you said, looking as if, for the life of you, you couldn't figure out how to beat me. (And it wasn't your fault, I was in for the win with this game).

"That's fine."

Outraged, you yelled, "Then I won't call you anything at all!" With that you'd turned and stomped off, your guard reluctantly following after you. I'd always wondered why guards were constantly with you or guarding your rooms, but I guess our kingdoms were just different in that regard. I'd always had free rein back in Leona, and sometimes servants would be running around everywhere looking for me, having not realized that I'd wandered off to the library or the pool. That would never happen to you—you couldn't go anywhere without everyone knowing.

I can remember following you around in the garden after you'd retreated, hiding behind hedges and spying on you. You'd pestered your guard throughout the rest of the afternoon, demanding to know why "that boy" was even here, and "wasn't that boy a right arse?" (He'd reprimanded you for that one.)

Of course, we didn't travel all the way to Hirona simply for my father to have a quick conversation with yours. We were readily invited to stay a while, which was when my real mission began. You would be my friend and you would /like it/!

At first you avoided me like the plague, turning and running the very moment you saw me. But I was always faster, and I could catch up to you quite easily. And then you took to accepting my presence but simply ignoring me, even when I shared wonderful stories about my homeland with you. Though somehow, your resolve crumbled, and you couldn't resist responding to me.

"How rude," I remember commenting, after you'd asked a passing guard to play hide and seek only to be sneered at.

"He should be fired," you'd said vehemently, before seeming to realize that you'd actually responded to me, the person you usually tried so desperately to ignore.

"I'll play hide and seek with you, Dan," I offered, and after some serious internal debate, you'd accepted. And then said, "Don't call me Dan!"

Our friendship grew swiftly after that, which I'm sure you remember. We spent nearly every waking moment together, and plenty of sleeping ones too (after all, sleepovers soon occurred more often than not).

When the time came for me to go back to Leona, you'd actually looked a bit sad. Instead of offering me a heartfelt farewell, you'd told me, "Good riddance!" with a firm nod, before crossing your arms and marching across the grass. I'd thrown a rock at your back. (It missed).

I don't think you know this, but on the ride home my father told me about how you'd begged him to bring you with us.

"I want to see Leona!" you'd said. And then, "Plus, I'll really miss Phil." (That is, if my father is to be trusted. He could've just made that story up after seeing how sad I was on the journey home).

Still, I don't think he was lying, as there was a letter from you waiting for me when I got home. I'd been so excited I'd started writing a reply before I even remembered to read it! Anyway, I've read it a million times by now, and I've even copied it down, so you can't ever deny writing it. I didn't know if you remembered it though, so I've included it in this envelope.

In hopes of seeing you again soon!

Love, Phil.

--

Dear Prince Philip,

I am quiet glad that your gone now. You we're to loud and noisy, after all. Also, you werent as fun as you think you are. I'm having a much funner time now with you back in Leeonah, and there's no body to steal my blankets.

Yes, I am very happy your gone.

That being said - when are you coming back?

Only because I want to kno so I can preepare. I will have the bestest hiding places and you will never be abel to find me. It will be like your not even here!

See you Never,

Prince Daniel (of Hirona)

~~

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