#which i am also debating on going to but then ill have 3 concerts in 3 days that is a lot

[petvles]

Mr worldwide come to the Netherlands challenge

[00towns]

ty track: taeyong's first solo concert and seoul 2/22 - 2/26

i debated writing this because it has always felt very silly to me to read people attempting to do serious reviews of kpop shows, which by nature can feel like very silly things, but after this show what kind of fan would i be if i were to still fall back on the cheap excuse that it wasn’t anything serious, artistic, and worthy of review? i also told close to no one that i was going to korea for the weekend – my nerves for the trip were too high to withstand so much inquiry, so if i lied to you, i’m sorry, but please read anyway. 

it was a weekend of kismet: i wasn’t scheduled to teach on the head or tail end, it was a long weekend holiday for the emperor’s birthday, it was the day(s) of the solo concert, and it was my 24th birthday on saturday. all the signs were pointing towards seoul, so on a random thursday i dipped out of work three hours early and almost broke into a sprint on the way home. i arrived in seoul past midnight, ate a shitty pyeonuijeom meal, and crashed in my airbnb after bothering the neighbors to help me with the electronic lock. 

the next morning, p and k surprised me with a birthday call with my friends from home. it meant more than they knew – birthday anxiety is an illness and i am not immune, and i was feeling slightly anxious about the trip overall. the size of my anticipation seemed to have gotten away from me, and i almost felt like i was setting myself up to fail for its sheer magnitude. an hour on zoom later, i could have moved mountains with my hands. love you guys, thank you for making something already special even more so <3

i moved through friday in a daze – picked up my show tickets from my mom’s friend, went to my usual bookstore, ate my favorite lunch, walked probably thirty thousand steps while waiting for some friends to get off work. i made it out to my favorite art museum to see a show on queer korean futures (loved) and on the problems of art museum practice (hated). the whole day felt like a snapshot of a seventeen year old’s saturday. perhaps the only thing that hadn’t changed at all was the squirming independence that moved my body torso-first through the city, a taste of something, an eternal appetizer. it felt a little ridiculous to be back in seoul, six years after living here last and about to watch the first solo concert of an artist i had loved even then. i thought about taeyong, and i thought about what was bringing us together again in this city. i thought about how far we’d come, growing on our own in that time. 

at soundcheck on the first day of ty track, i almost expected something to cut to black when he started to make his way down the extended stage to where i was standing at barricade, but nothing did, and he just kept coming, so i waved, and he waved back, and he was really there in front of me. i’ve been able to see taeyong in show more than just a few times, but anyone could have told you this was different – he carried on his shoulders being a ten-year artist holding the first solo concert of entirely his original work and vision before going away for his mandatory service. it was also easily the closest i’ve ever been to any idol ever. being a head taller than most of the fans around me was a big favor too, and for most of the show i felt like we were staring each other down. 

taeyong is an artist who has always known when to take himself seriously, and i feel like in the last few months in the leadup to this second project, he has absolutely locked in. the choices he’s made for this recent concert and project are seriously good, and he’s thought about it all in the context of his world, his discography, his upcoming enlistment, and the way that his fans have grown with him. it’s a much more sonically advanced project than i would have anticipated, exhibited by the fact that he could hold a solo concert with strictly self-composed and produced songs, many of which are unreleased and will remain unreleased until he returns in 2025, and still show out at the level he did. even in changes in demeanor, attitude, and poise through the unity shows in nagoya and osaka – he came to ty track knowing what he was showing out to do. the stage design, writing, pacing, and performance all screamed taeyong, through and through. 

on the second day, i felt more relaxed going into the actual show knowing what to expect, but wasn’t prepared for how emotional i’d be when he began reflecting on his career, team, and life up until now. i don’t think anyone was – they prepared so much for him but by the end most people were in tears. i thought about how taeyong’s work and music have moved me for so long, and how easy that is to take for granted. i’m beyond grateful to have shared that moment with him, his collaborators, and a stadium full of people who have been touched by his work. 

after the show, every attendee got a rose, after the penny sized scar on his face that looks like a flower in bloom. i thought about how the title of his first solo concert was from his first baby-faced official verse on an sm song back in 2014. i’ve been a taeyong fan since before we were even named taeyong friends, and the anniversary coming up this summer will make 8 years for me with 127. i’ve been so blessed to be able to spend so much time with them, especially over the last year since my move to japan (something about how the familiar will make itself clear). perhaps it is a bit silly to assign so much value to a kpop boy, and my relationship to kpop overall remains a bit complicated, but even as it waxes and wanes i’ve been thankful for taeyong’s music, talent, and thought. i’m grateful to have grown with taeyong and 127, and to have felt myself mature from someone deep in the swamps of teenage obsession to an adult fan who can cheer him on and be cheered on by him from whatever distance and time. thank you, taeyong, for ten years of artistry, hard work, and sincerity. i’ll see you in 2025 <3 

‘tap’ the second mini album comes out tonight at 6PM KST! 

[yukina-otome]

Ikevamp pregnancy and family headcanon pt.3

I am back ! This time with Isaac and jean ! I hope you enjoy ! Please encourage me and let me know what you think !

@ginshoujo​ @bierunderdbeeren​ @fun-ghoul-neela​ @loverofmanyrandomthings​

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 

-Isaac: A daughter

-He spent most of his life alone so the idea of one day being a father was foreign and impossible for him. -When you came into his room one day being all nervous and refusing to look him in the eyes he thought you were there to dump him. -The last thing he expected you to say was that you were pregnant. -Isaac was so shocked he kept silent as you started rambling in nervousness. -After few minutes of Isaac staying silent and you rambling on how you want to keep the baby because it is the product of your love, Isaac  finally spoke: -"P-Pregnant....as in....B-Baby? Mine ? Wait....no that's no what i should be saying in this situation...ah wait a minute.....So there is a baby made of my sperm and your ovule in your uterus ??" -"Yes Isaac that's exactly what pregnant mean....are you not happy ?" -"NO ! I am very happy ! It's just that i never had a father, and I'm so awkward and clumsy I don't know if i can be a good father to our child" -The word "Our child" felt so foreign to him yet the second he said his heart felt so full. -After that you spent long hours reassuring him before you both fell asleep dreaming of your future together with your baby. -Few days later both of you guys decided to announce it to the whole mansion during dinner and as soon as the word "I am pregnant" left your mouth the whole dinner room fell silent. -The silence was broken by Arthur who said "Congratulation Newt you old chap, I can already suggest a pretty good name for your child! What about Apple if its a girl ! And if its a boy Applo !" -Isaac started arguing with Arthur and Dazai who also suggested naming your child Ringo. The rest of the resident all congratulated you and Sebastian banned you from doing house chores. -Your pregnancy was very peaceful. You would visit Isaac at the university almost every day and all his students treated you as if you were made of glass. The dean would always ask you about how you were doing and when you were in your 8th month, all the students and the dean gave you presents for the baby. -You were in university attending one of Isaac's class when your water broke. You started groaning and screaming in pain and the whole classroom started panicking. -Isaac was at your side by the second and quickly carrying you out of the class and toward the hospital (the students followed you) -And so you were in the delivery room while Isaac, 80 university students and the mansion's resident were waiting outside. -Napoleon was by Isaac's side trying to calm him down while Arthur Theo Dazai leo and le compte were making bets about the baby's gender. -After what felt like hours, the doctor came out of the delivery room and looked at the huge crowd in amazement before saying "Who is the father ?" -Isaac raised his hand and the doctor invited him in the delivery room. -You gave birth to a beautiful baby girl with light brown hair and pink eyes. -After much consideration you named her Cherry (As in cherry blossom) -Cherry was a very innocent and shy child. -She was also a huge crybaby. -One time when she was around 5 Arthur teased her and the second her eyes filled with tears and she started sniffing the whole mansion looked at arthur like he had just committed murder. From that day on she started avoiding him (it broke his hearth) -From when she was very young Isaac often took her to his classes where his student would gush over her and one day when she was 8 she corrected the student who was sitting next to her as he made a mistake in his formula. -That's how you knew she was a genius, her IQ was extremely high. But you guys never forced anything on her as she was more interested in cultures and languages than math's and physics. -By the age of 12 she was fluent in all the languages that were spoke in the mansion, English, French, Japanese and Dutch and of course Latin (her father taught her). -She would spend long hours having a debate about history with Sebastian. -You guys would go on stroll in the city and Isaac would smile as you and cherry would start nerding about some monument and the history behind it. He would thank all the stars and it would not be enough because he knew that he would never feel lonely ever again.

-Jean : A daughter and a son

-Jean didn't want children at all. -He was a monster. He was dirty. what kind of child would come from his genes. -But then he met you and slowly but surely he started loving himself a bit more. -You were his everything. For him you were the most beautiful and pure person. -Nevertheless you two never spoke of having a family. But you dreamed of having a big family. -So one day as you were resting in jean's embrace you decide to try and see what he thinks about it. -"Jean have you ever thought of having a family ?" -Jean thought for few minutes before saying "I never thought i deserved to have a family....but if its with you...." -You started crying and squeezed him in your arms. -And so from that point on the two of you started trying. -Few months later after a visit to your doctor you came in the mansion looking for jean only to find him sparing with napoleon in the training room. -Both of them stopped sparing to look at you as you screamed "I'm pregnant". Jean dropped his rapier and picked you up in a hug. -Both you and napoleon heard a laugh that sounded like it came straight out of an angel's mouth. Jean was laughing. -After that jean became your personal bodyguard. When he was busy he made napoleon keep an eye on you of all time. -Not that you needed any more protection as the whole mansion babied you. -"Guys i am not ill. I'm pregnant" -"But then why did you vomit this morning?" Mozart said -"It's just morning sickness !" you answered back -"Sickness....that mean you're ill. I'm taking you to the doctor right now" jean said as he carried you in his arms. -Anyways days passed and when you were in your 9th month jean had to take a job as a bodyguard with napoleon. Mozart had a concert to prepare for, Isaac was busy with his job as a professor, Sebastian was too busy, Leo Vincent and Theo were away on business, and no way he would leave you to Dazai or Arthur. -Which led him to ask the one and only person who was not busy that day.....Le compte. Truthfully he didn't want to owe him anything but he would throw away his pride for your safety any day. -That day you spend time with le compte drinking Tea and eating cake when your water broke. -Le compte took care of everything and took you to the hospital. He also sent a messenger for jean. -When jean got the message he was few hours away from the city. Napoleon assured him he would take care of the rest and jean took off as fast as he could. -When he arrived you had already given birth and you were sleeping. As he came into the room he saw you with your eyes closed and panicked. He checked your breathing and pulse and relaxed when he saw you were just sleeping. Then he heard the tiniest sound. -He looked toward the direction the sound came from and he saw a crib. He peaked inside the crib and saw the most beautiful dark blue eyes. His baby girl looked at him in curiosity before giving him a smile that reminded him so much of yours. -Now he had one more person who loved him, one more person to protect. -His daughter Louise was shy and timid. She didn't speak much. -She loved her uncle Napoleon the most and admired her uncle Mozart. -She would always listen to Mozart as he played the piano. At first he was awkward with her because he didn't know how to behave with kids but one day when she was 3 he found her sitting on the floor outside his piano room and asked "what are you doing?" -She looked at him with her big eyes and said "music" -From that day on she always came to listen to him playing. She would sit on the sofa in the piano room (it wasn't there before, he bought it just for her) and listen for hours. -When Louise was 6 you got pregnant again. This time Jean refused to leave you for even a second. He wanted to be with you when you gave birth. -"Jean its only the 5th month...I'm not going to give birth any time soon." "I don't care I'm not leaving you". -You would be chilling in Jean's room (that was redecorated to look more homey and less like a prison cell) and both Louise and Jean would have their ears on your tummy trying to hear what was happening inside. -After few hours of listening Louis said "It's a boy". "How can you be so sure darling ?" "I just know. He told me just now." -And she was right. Few months later you gave birth (with jean by your side this time) to a boy who looked like a mini jean. -His name was Orlean. -From his cold deadpan expression, to his androgynous features, to his dark sense of humor  he was a copy of jean. -He was so mature for his age and often took care of his bigger sister. -Orlean and Jean looked liked they were awkward when they were together because none of them would say much, but in fact the silence between them was always comfortable. They would understand each other with a single look. -Jean taught Orlean how to use a sword but Orlean preferred reading. He always spent time in the Library with his uncle Leo who would teach him all kind of subjects. -You, Louise and Orlean would come watch jean spare with napoleon and would cheer for him like crazy. -Jean never thought he would have anyone who loved him let alone a family. He would always be thankful to you who showed him love and gave him happiness. You, Louise and Orlean were his treasures.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Ralph, my mom sent me a New York Times article about the “real” chances of getting a breakthrough case of covid if you’re fully vaccinated. There was a quote at the end that drew me up short and which I’ve been trying to make sense of since. The author writes “I will confess to one bit of hesitation about walking you through the data on breakthrough infections: It’s not clear how much we should be worrying about them. For the vaccinated, Covid resembles the flu and usually a mild one. Society does not grind to a halt over the flu.” My first reaction to this was a very large cringe - the author seems to adopt an attitude of “well if you’re not vaccinated by now that’s nobody’s fault but your own and I shouldn’t be expected to still go out of my way to protect you.” I recognize this is me reading into the quote, and part of my reaction was influenced by the tone of the article as a whole. But in general, that seems to be a problematic position to take - it ignores all the barriers in place preventing people from getting vaccinated, and the way those barriers seem to run very precisely along racial and socioeconomic lines. My second reaction was to think about this in context of Harry’s concerts, since they are very much top of mind for me right now. I thought well, it’s kind of true that we don’t shut everything down every flu season - I myself have been to numerous concerts in big arenas and tiny bars during the winter and fall and come home with nasty viruses, and I’ve never found myself thinking “that artist should not be touring right now.” But then again, covid is not the flu. I thought about the calls I have seen and am still seeing for Harry to cancel his shows until it’s “safe” to resume touring. But safe meaning what exactly? When there’s a way to do it with an absolute zero level of risk? Because that seems to be what a lot of the people I see calling for the tour to “be canceled until it’s safe” are getting at - the idea that any risk of transmitting covid is too much and we should stop tours until that risk is gone. And that feels like a big assertion to make, with all sorts of implications and questions raised for me - do we shut down bars again? Restaurants? Restrict travel? Where’s the line? What’s acceptable and what’s not? Are we just going to stay in lockdown for 3-5 more years? I mean here in the US people lost their shit after 3 months of lock down, so that doesn’t seem like a particularly feasible approach. And to be honest, there’s a part of me that does feel like I have done everything “right” and am still being punished, and I don’t relish the idea of another lockdown or regression to more strict protocols where I am sidelining my life to abide by them while so many other people just don’t and go on living. (I realize this feeling of mine is problematic in a lot of ways - I’m working through it, but for now it is a feeling I find coming up a lot.) I guess I’m just having trouble figuring out how to live in the space between “we need to go full on bunker mode until this is GONE” and “screw everyone else *I* did what I was supposed to and now I’m just going to watch out for myself.” How are you navigating this? (And if you happened to catch the NYT article this quote came from I’d be interested to hear your thoughts about it.)

Thanks for your thoughts anon - I think these are really interesting and important questions right now.

But I'll begin with a disclaimer - I don't have to navigate this. When where I lived in NZ went from Level 3 (which is lockdown) to Level 2 (where pretty much everything is possible) - I said to my brother 'you don't know how lucky you are. It's not just the fact that people aren't dying, it's the fact that you can trust the decisions that are being made.' I know that the swimming pools and cafes have now opened because it is safe for them to open. So when I go to them I don't need to worry about whether I'm safe, or whether I'm putting the lives of other people at risk. And maybe that makes me the wrong person to answer this, but it does make me someone who can say ot's a failure of society that means that this feels like an individual burden on you.

You suggest one option being full on bunker mode until this is gone. But as someone who lives somewhere where that's official government policy - you can't do that on your own. Full on bunker mode requires substantial government support to workers, and regulation of essential workplaces to make sure they're run safely. Without that - it's just another way that rich people get to be safe and poor people don't.

To turn ot the rest of what you said, out of the context of the article, I would read that snippet very differently from you, but I agree with your conclusion. I assume that when people say that COVID really isn't that special as a respiritory illness if you're vaccinated, then the point that follows is: 'therefore less time and attention should be spent on the worries of the vaccinated and instead all resources should be dedicated to ensuring vaccine equity both between and within countries, taking vaccines to where people are, and celebrating their effectiveness. But perhaps I have too much faith in people's analysis and values.

I totally agree with everything you say about vaccine accessibility. I've been really distrubed at the way US discourse has focused on the fact that some people who aren't vaccinated are Republican anti-vaxxers, and ignored the deep inequalities in the US vaccination programme. (And it's even more disturbing when that rhetoric is exported to other countries).

I do think this is a particular sort of hard time for vaccinated people in places where the vaccine programme has stalled out at less than 75% fully vaccinated. Processing what the change in risk means, after experiencing so much fear is really hard.

I think it's particularly hard for people who put a lot of weight onto their own and other's individual choices. What people did mattered this pandemic - so many people made so many decisions that kept people safer and protected each other. But they have always made those choices against the limitations of government policy and an economic system that saw people facing a choice of work or die. And now more than ever there are limits about what we can do. We can get vaccinated. We can talk kind and compassionately about vaccines to the vaccine hesitant people in our lives. We can resist the urge to posting anything that might contribute to polarising the vaccine debate. We can organise politically to advocate for well-funded programmes to take vaccines where people are, and for an equitable global distribution of vaccines. And some people might have something to contribute to the process of taking vaccines to where people are. But vaccines make such a difference to COVID that anything else we do pales in response - and that can be a difficult adjustment.

And I do think the only solution is to move as much as possible from an individual analysis to a structural one. Think about things in terms of who has access to a vaccine and who doesn't, not in terms of who has done the right thing or the wrong.

**************

In terms of Harry's tour - here's my starting point: I don't know whether Harry's tour should have gone ahead. I'm anxious at the moment that he's travelling through states with high case loads and low rates of vaccination. I think in those circumstances there's a risk that any large event may cause a spike infection that puts too much pressure on the hospital system. But I haven't followed any US state in enough detail to really know what is happening.

And the other part that I think is useful is that it doesn't matter what I think of Harry's tour, or you think of Harry's tour, or anyone else. It's going ahead. It's going ahead because people in power (both in government's and the entertainment industry) decided it could. However, we personally feel or think about it won't change that reality.

I don't think that calls for nobody tour until it's 'safe' are particularly serious (without some articulation of what that would look like. But they're also not going to change the reality. The tour is going ahead (until someone on the team gets a positive COVID test).

I hope that acknowledging the limited power of our reckons is a bit freeing. Of course feel that it's not fair and you've done the right thing and this shouldn't still be happening! It's not and it shouldn't and you (just like everyone else) have given up so much.

I don't think figuring out what level of risk you're comfortable with and figuring out how you can live a life you value under these circumstances is saying 'screw everyone else'. There isn't a magic way that people can act that will make COVID go away. The big decisions are being taken by corporations and governments. So organise to change those decisions (I would say the most important focus is meaningful vaccine equity) and figure out the best way that you can live in the world we live in right now.

[theoptimisticpatriot]

Devolution and the Governance of England

‘England is the only part of the union whose people have not been consulted or offered a referendum on how they wish to be governed in the past twenty years.’

Evidence to the Constitutional Affairs and Public Affairs Select Committee. I am currently scheduled to give oral evidence on Tuesday 2nd February 2021. John Denham.

I am the Director of the Centre for English Identity and Politics at the University of Southampton. I was MP for Southampton Itchen from 1992-2015 and the Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government from 2009-2010. (In that capacity I approved the formation of the Greater Manchester Combined Authority, the first of combined authority). My published work includes a study of Labour’s approach to the governance of England (in Governing England, British Academy, 2018). I am also a Founder and Director of the Southern Policy Centre.

The focus of the Centre for English Identity and Politics is on the relationship between national identity and political choices, and on the governance of England and the union. In the past twenty years English, British and combined identities have taken on a political salience with, for example ‘English not British’ voters voting heavily Leave and ‘British not English’ voters tending to vote Remain. National identity is also a good predictor of attitudes towards English governance and the union.

The Southern Policy Centre is an independent think tank for central southern England. The SPC has delivered research, reports and events on devolution and regional policy since 2014 and has argued that any local devolution proposals should reflect a coherent regional strategy.

1. England’s national governance

Discussion of devolution within England must start with the unsatisfactory nature of England’s national governance. A key reason why English devolution has been challenging is that the national government and state from which powers might be devolved is ill-defined and lacks coherence. The key features are

*  England is governed by the union government and state

*  Although EVEL provides English MPs with a veto power on legislation, England does not have its own legislative programme, nor has EVEL provided the parliamentary ‘voice’ for the people of England that was initially promised.

*  There is no clear machinery for English government at ministerial or official level. This mitigates against a coherent and joined up national policy for England. It has led to inconsistency between departments and ministers in their approach to devolution.

*  There are very uneven mechanisms of accountability for minister or officials with responsibilities for the delivery of policy in England

*  England’s position within the union is made difficult by the ambiguous role of many ministers in representing both union and English interests.

*  England’s government is characterised by a high degree of centralisation that reflects the long-standing centralist traditions of the union state

England is the most centralised nation in Europe as measured by the local control of resources and in the over-dependence on Whitehall decision-making and the under- development of the capacity of local government to exercise autonomy and initiative. In turn this weakens the capacity of local government to work in concert with other institutions (including universities, health services and business organisations) to shape local and regional policy.

While English devolution would be enhanced by a more coherent system of English national government, its absence should not be used as reason not to move ahead with devolution as swiftly as possible.

A more distinct machinery of English government and ministerial accountability would also improve intra-governmental relationships with the union. Parliamentary reform could provide the much-needed national forum in which England’s future and interest can be discussed.

2. English devolution – devolutionary government

The purpose of English devolution should be to develop a better functioning state that delivers public policy more effectively, engages with the public more fully, and better reflects the different needs and interests of different parts of England.

The devolution debate is too often characterised in terms of the centre ‘letting go’ of powers and resources currently held by central government. While there are indeed many areas of public service and welfare delivery where better outcomes would be achieved by the devolution of power and responsibility to local and combined authorities there are also challenges where the role of the central state will be key.

The economic transformation required to meet zero carbon goals, for example, will require a strong and concerted drive from central government, including resources, regulation, public procurement and legislation. At the same time, the transformation will depend on elected local bodies with the resources, powers and autonomy to form effective networks and partnerships with small and large business, universities and other public bodies. The overall policy challenge with need synergy between local priorities and initiatives, regional issues including transport and energy, and national policy.

Managing this devolved state will require a new form of statecraft. This will be a more subtle culture of statecraft offering effective leadership of relatively autonomous institutions rather than seeking to mandate their behaviour. In devolutionary government the central state would no longer hold the default assumption that local action should be determined by or subject to the approval of the centre.

3. The principles of devolution

English consent

It should be noted that England is the only part of the union whose people have not been consulted or offered a referendum on how they wish to be governed in the past twenty years. The first principle of English devolution is that the people of England should have the right to decide on how they wish to be governed.

English aspirations have too often been subordinated to other considerations. The claim that England is too big to enjoy national political institutions has largely gone unchallenged for over 150 years. Technocratic preference for imposed regional structures or ‘functional market areas’ have taken little account of local views and identities.

Since UK devolution English domestic policy has been largely distinct from that of the rest of the union. The experience of English Votes on English Laws has shown that identifying English only legislation is far easier than had been assumed. As yet, neither development has triggered a rethink of how England is governed.

Public debate about England’s governance is under-developed. Although the government can move ahead with many devolutionary measures it should also initiate a rich consultative process, involving deliberative citizens assemblies and other means, to recommend the principles of English devolution, including its national institutions and the approach to local devolution. After Parliamentary consideration, proposals should be put to English voters in a referendum.

Finance

Devolution should ensure the fair distribution of resources across England. The Barnett formula gives relative protection for the devolved administration against changes in union spending in England, but England’s regions have no such protection. In recent years, austerity has fallen disproportionately on the poorest regions.

‘Fair spending’ is a contested concept. Different measures such as spending per head, deprivation, capacity to raise local income, and potential to generate economic growth all produce different outcomes. Government should establish an independent commission, ideally with cross-party support, to develop a fair funding formula with a view to embedding it as deeply into England’s system of government as Barnett is to the union. It should be based on granular local data, such as LSOAs, and with the results aggregated to form the budget of local and combined authorities.

4. Equivalence with the devolved nations

As a matter of principle only Parliamentarians elected by English voters should be able to make legislation, vote on policy and hold ministers to account on issues that are currently devolved. While the extent of devolved powers is not consistent across the devolved nations, there are no issues that are devolved to any other nation that should not be subject to such English decision-making.

UK devolution has created national democratic institutions and the political communities of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have all developed in depth and character since the creation of Parliaments and Assemblies. English reform also needs to create an equivalent national forum.

As in the devolved nations, England’s own devolution should be decided by England.

The disparity of size between England and the devolved nations does mean that English decisions may have more impact on the smaller nations than vice versa. This highlights the need to improve the machinery of intra-governmental consultation.

5. Consistency in devolved and local government

The most important consistency is that residents in each part of England should feel that the appropriate powers and resources have been devolved to the organisations accountable for their area. This is far more important that whether devolution looks ‘neat’ or consistent from Whitehall.

In parts of England where counties retain a strong sense of identity, the unit of devolved government might be the county councils. Where these are too small to tackle strategic transport, energy and other infrastructure issues and government policy would need to incentivise cooperation between councils in order to gain collective control over devolved policies. In other areas, such large combined authorities and London, there may be a single tier to which a wider range of functions can be devolved. Although an imposed regional structure should be avoided, there may be parts of England where a regional or sub-regional approach would best reflect public preferences and identities.

This flexible approach would produce a system of ‘messy devolution’ but it should be part of the statecraft of central government to manage relationships varying structures across the nation. If the centre insists on uniform structures these are unlikely to work well anywhere.

6. Devolution deals

The characteristic of devolution deals is ‘elite co-option’ in which central government engages local leaders and stakeholders to achieve the delivery of central government priorities. This has been a consistent feature of both current devolution policy and the regional administration of the 1997-2010 Labour government.

In limited terms the approach works. Local and central priorities often coincide to some extent and a pound spent locally will usually be more productive than one mandated centrally. However, the process does exclude many other potential priorities and areas of service delivery. It has tended to reward city centre regeneration, based on property and higher education, at the expense of more peripheral towns. It does not build up the capacity for autonomous innovation and initiative that is required.

Localities do not have any right to access devolved resources and powers. The ‘deal-making’ approach has led to inconsistent and arbitrary decisions and government has not taken a consistent approach to devolution deals. Proposals agreed by local authorities in, for example, southern Hampshire have been rejected apparently for reasons of national partisan politics.

7. Taking decisions on English devolution

It is time to move beyond the deal-making approach to create a consistent palette of devolved powers that local authorities and combined authorities can draw down. There will obviously need to be some criteria, ideally agreed with the Local Government Association, to ensure that the powers devolved are appropriate to the size and capacity of the devolved authority.

It would make sense to require some evidence of local support, whether through consultation or referendum, before powers are drawn down. To underline the shift from national to local accountability, this process should include public education about the powers and the responsibilities that the devolved authority is taking on.

8. Representation of England’s localities

Representation within England

The key challenge is to establish a coherent machinery of English government with clear ministerial accountability.

This machinery would then be able to engage with local and combined authorities (or regional bodies where these are appropriate) through both formal and informal structures.

A Senate, established for the UK and including local representation, could also provide a structure for formal consultation between ministers responsible for English policy and representatives of English localities.

Intra-governmental representation

Assuming for now that the union retains its current basic structure, England should be separately represented in the intra-governmental machinery. Intra-government cooperation should include representatives from Northern Ireland, Scotland, Wales, England and the UK government. (There are wider questions on constitutional reform of the union that are beyond the scope of this paper.)

There is no merit in suggestions that would bring together representatives of the three devolved administrations with the UK government and only allowing with some form of consultative status for English local authorities. Aside from the difficulty of deciding who should represent England, such a structure would merely confirm England’s marginal constitutional role within the union.

There is a strong case for a broader union forum or Senate, that brings together local government representatives from every part of the union together with national and union representatives. The current system of devolution tends to work against the sharing of common interests and good practice, and a broadly representative Senate would help to strengthen links and practical cooperation across different parts of the UK.

Such a Senate could also enable formal consultation with England’s localities on English issues.

Parliament

England’s parliamentary representation needs to provide a national forum in which England’s issues and future can be debated, a legislative chamber for English domestic legislation, and a clear structure for Executive accountability. These conditions could be met either within a ‘dual-mandate’ Commons or a free-standing Parliament for England. There is no viable option for delegating either legislative functions to regional assemblies. In any case these could not provide the forum for English interests that is required.

A Senate at union level could also be to give English ministers the opportunity to consult representatives of English localities on a formal basis. However, the successful management of a devolved England will depend more on the development of effective devolved statecraft than on formal consultative mechanisms.

9. Public demand for change

As no major political parties or civic organisations have encouraged a broad-ranging public debate about England’s governance, only limited weight can be placed on current polling to ascertain what might emerge from an informed and engaged debate. It is possible to highlight key elements of current attitudes:

*  There has been majority support for the principle that Welsh, Scottish and Northern Irish MPs should be excluded from voting on English only-legislation for most of the past 20 years.

*  Parliament of England receives more support than opposition but, with a high level of ‘don’t knows’ does not achieve majority support. It is perhaps surprising that support for a Parliament remains so high when no major party advocates such a change.

*  Both options, and the maintenance of the status quo, are significantly more popular than elected regional assemblies. This suggests that the public prefer to see England treated as a national unit of government.

*  Evidence on devolution within England is highly sensitive to the questions asked. The public have a broad preference for decisions taken closer to where they live but also want consistent standards of public service in all parts of England. (The two views are not mutually incompatible: it can be argued that the postcode lottery is the result of over-centralisation of service delivery).

*  There is no part of England where regional or local identities are generally more widely or strongly held than English or British national identity. However, in many parts of England the local or regional identity is important to many people.

*  There is significant polarisation by national identity with those who identify as ‘English more than British’ showing the strongest support for a Parliament or EVEL and most opposition to regional structures, whilst the opposite is true amongst the ‘British more than English’.

On the basis of current polling, we might expect a citizen’s constitutional convention to support a dual-mandate Westminster with a full-blooded EVEL, and administrative, financial

and executive devolution within England to recognisable local structures that might be combined authorities, counties or regions/sub-regions in different parts of the nation.

10. Conclusion

A new strategic approach to English devolution, based on principles agreed with the people of England, would enable each locality to draw down powers appropriate to the needs and identity of each area. The current centralist assumption of the union state should be replaced with devolutionary government that would enable central government to engage in a more effective and productive way with empowered local elected government. Further reforms to the organisation of England’s governance and parliamentary representation would improve the government of England, support devolution and improve intra-governmental relationships across the union.

November 2020

[lezvia]

mashup of things i’ve been tagged in but forgot to answer

because i’m Lazy and right now i need a Distraction

Tagged by @where-did-atlantis-go​ and @bakugoukatsvki​, thank you daisy and mary!!! ily both <3

1ST RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

idk suddently i can’t read

uuuuh whoever wants to do this one or one of the following, feel free to say i tagged you!!

2ND RULE: Bold the statements that are true for you

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7" or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people

People tell me that I’m funny

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it 

ABILITY:

I can sing well

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone (hmmm debatable)

I know I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have been in a relationship for at least a year

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close to my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the United States

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CDs

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life

I speak at least 2 languages

I have made a new friend in the past year

Tagged by @rosenmarille pari i love your questions lsghlsh thanks for tagging me!!!

1) Favourite sweet?

this one, which i just learned is apparently called “salame de chocolate”... i promise it tastes much better than it sounds

2) Coolest memory?

first thing that comes to my mind is riding a quad bike in a race and scaring my instructor bc, as he said, i ride as if i’m “not afraid for my life in the least” (he’s... not wrong...)

3) Do you like travelling?

i love travelling!! love to have the money for it someday...

4) Any hobbies you’ve been meaning to try?

being productive

5) Have / Want to get any tattoos?

ooh boy i don’t have any but i definitely want a few!! i want a trail of flowers starting from my collarbone and ending above my elbow on one arm, and i also really like the idea of a small trail of black birds somewhere near my hipbone

6) Most annoying meme?

memes that make fun of mental illnesses, like “triggered”... Yikes

7) Most Tragic™ pic you have saved?

hkglkadhkl

8) What’s your dnd alignment?

chaotic neutral!!! ayyyy

9) Favourite video game / video game series?

i’m a basic fake gaymer who loves crash bandicoot gaymes

10) Do you even lift bro? 

ye a....... do u

[jupiterm00n]

September 23, 2017 1:57am

I decided to withdraw from school to go to detox and rehab then hospital. Then maybe to an outpatient program? I don't want to do an outpatient program though because honestly, every time I look at my body I just freak out. And I know when I go awAy they'll make me eat which I've been debating for over a year. Honestly that's one of the only reasons why I haven't gone. They make you eat. They weigh you every day and the last time I was in hospital they made me drink ensure throughout the day. Thankfully I had Mandy, who taught me that straws make it easier to drink, and that if I feel like I'm gonna throw up, she showed me the plants I could pour the rest of the ensure In. Last time I went to hospital I gained like 8 lbs because they took away my diet pills and laxatives, and I couldn't puke anymore, they watched me eat. I had to. I can't look at my body. It's disgusting and hideous and damaged. Dysfunctional. It's gotten worse. It's not just sad or panic anymore, it's like whenever I see pictures of myself that others have taken or if I look in the mirror too long I start to dissociate. And people use dissociating as such a causal term which pisses me off so much. It's not just zoning out. It's where you're no longer connected to reality. I can't even look in the mirror long enough to do makeup. I have to take breaks. If I stare at myself too long I start to see stars. And everything blurs and it's like I'm sitting in a crowded room of people but I'm not in my body. I've had so many out of body experiences recently. Where I'm literally not in my body because I get so anxious about just stupid shit like how big my thighs are. And whenever I feel my arms touch my ribs I want to scream and rip out all my hair. I know there are more important problems. And I want to get better, but I want to be 75lbs so badly. It's the most fucked up thing. I'm prepared to go to detox, get clean and go through alcohol withdrawals. I've lost so many friends. I'm so out of control. And the one way I feel power is through this. The week before I decided to drop out I had one of the best nights I had in a while. I saw one of my favorite bands, Andrew Jackson jihad, and I hadn't eaten for probably 3 days and I felt so powerful and in control. I could see how hollow I looked. I lost 5 lbs in 4 days. And I felt like I could do it again, be thin again. I had a lot of fun that night. And I went out to eat that night and had something to eat and had a tiny bit to eat and immediately felt so full. I felt so good. I felt so good all that night. I mean I was happy from the concert and good company anyway, but the feeling of not eating at all and going to bed, knowing that in a few hours when you step on the scale, the number will have dropped so much. That week I felt so much power and confidence. I went to a movie with friends the next night and I looked at myself in the mirror. I was weak and I could hardly get out of my friends bed. But Before I left I went to splash water on my face and run water over my wrists since I was having heart palpitations. Something I haven't had since I was like 84 80 ish lbs... but I looked at myself for the first time for a while. I looked completely hollow. The bags under my eyes were protruding like watercolor clouds. My bones were sticking out and my skin was dull and pale. I looked like a corpse. A walking corpse. But when I smiled my teeth were even whiter and my cheekbones looked higher. Looking down at my stomach I noticed there wasn't any bulbous flesh that left lumps under my sweater. And it's scary. Wanting to be completely diminished. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. And I don't know why I want this. And why whenever I'm upset about something I self punish by binging, eating massive amounts of food. Then I get more upset about that and then spiral I've been spiraling for so long. Binging. Starving. Fuck. I've also been told that I'm a manipulative bitch, people think I'm manipulative. I was really happy I was making friends with people and really happy I could still be friends with my ex's friends but, apparently a ton of people, most of them, think I'm toxic, they think I'm manipulative. They don't trust me. They think I'm a monster. And I know I'm a destructive bitch but not in the ways they think. Mental illness appears a lot in the early 20's and he knows that and he's told me that and I know that and I know it's not all my fault. But it's my fault for oversharing. For trusting these people. For telling them I have borderline personality disorder and anorexia nervosa. And they googled bpd. And I know what comes up when you look up that. You get articles about how you should never date someone with bpd, or how people with bpd are manipulative monsters, or you'll just get the whole fucking screenplay of fatal attraction, or who's afraid of Virginia Wolfe. There's nothing else. I can't convince them I'm sane. My friends, have seen me when I thought they were asleep. They've seen me break down fucking sobbing, ripping my hair out. How the fuck can they ever see me as I want them to see me. I want them to see me as normal. They can think I'm fucked up. But having depression is one thing. Having a personality disorder that's constantly labeled as "the devils illness" is a whole other thing. And idk how to deal with it. I want it to go away. I wish it could leave. I wish I could be happy more than anything. I wish I could eat and not feel guilt. But I also wish I was 70lbs. I wish people could understand that personality disorders are hard, but that I'm not a psycho bitch. That I have a ton of empathy. That I'm always there for anyone who needs help. That my manipulation doesn't come from evil or psychopathy, but from the fAct that I can't ask for anything. I haven't been able to ask for anything because I was always punished for it, and because I'm so scared of abandonment, I don't want to lose anyone I'll do anything and I'll try to make them stay. I'm so fucked up I wish I was dead I want to be dead but I see too much beauty in people and the world and I want to help. That sounds so fucking dumb and selfish and godlike. Honestly, I want to die so badly. But I cant keep just doing that. I can't keep trying to die. It never works, and in the end I just end up more upset that my 13th attempt failed yet again. I don't want to die I'm equally scared of death as I am of living. I don't know what death is like and I never will fully. But being close to it sucks. And I'm going through so much shit that I know that if someone tries to save me that another failed attempt won't be worth it. Plus. I've had days where there are small things that make me ant to cry because of their beauty. The stars I looked at the other night made me feel so small and so insignificant and less alone, the sunlight through a windowsill, a moth dancing along a light, my best friend giving me a hug, knowing all the shit all the garbage he's been through I wish I could take it all away, wishing I could be what he wants me to be my best friend hugging me telling me he loves me. Those things make death seem like the more scary option I think

[atlanxic]

ok so i actually have an extensive arc-v/zexal crossover university au that i’ve talked a lot about on my private twitter and on discord but i think it’s time to put it all on tumblr. i wanted to make this all one post but i actually feel like it’s too much for that? so here’s part one of..... five or so?

yuuto, shun, and ruri lived in the same apartment complex as children, theyve known each other literally forever.

in middle school, yuuto & shun both discover hardcore/punk music and spend a couple years being kind of awkward and terrible about it until high school hits and they kind of level out. ruri teases them a lot for liking that awful racket but eventually she gets into it too, mostly because her and shun are kind of inseparable for quite some time. the three of them go to the local shitty music venue just about every weekend. for the first year or so ruri insists shes going to keep them out of trouble but like i said, she gets more into the music after a while.

shun and yuuto both mosh, shun probably more frequently than yuuto. they show up to school with bruises pretty often and rumours are started that they get in fights a lot or that theyre involved in a gang. there are also rumours that theyre dating, which dont go over very well, and result in them getting in actual fist fights a couple times. they try dating for like... 3 months in grade 7, and then decide that its weird and they work better as friends.

yuuto wears his hair in a mohawk for about a year before switching to the spiky mess we know and love. towards the end of middle school, they meet kaito at a prog-rock concert, all four of them pressed against the front rails together kaito and yuuto hit it off immediately, and exchange phone numbers after the show. shun is immensely suspicious. they text a lot, and then they start hanging out, and then they start going out. shun threatens to beat kaito up, kaito is fine with it, yuuto is not. etc.

meanwhile, ruri and sayaka meet in class. it doesn't even occur to shun to be suspicious of her until he catches them making out. he yells about it, sayaka is understandably frightened. ruri tells him off for scaring her girlfriend. she stays angry at him for longer than she has before. he eventually gives in and apologizes to both of them, but in a kind of dickish way.

yuuto and kaito break up towards the beginning of 11th grade. neither of them are upset about it, they stay friends. it was mostly because kaito felt like he needed to focus more on school, now that he's getting into college prep-level courses. yuuto cries about it once, and it takes several hours to convince shun that violence would be neither appropriate nor helpful.

all four of them move to a different city for college. sayaka goes to school in the town they grew up in. her and ruri stay in touch, but after half a year they decide that the long distance thing isn't working out for them. they still hang out when ruri and shun go back for the holidays, and its fairly bittersweet.

yuuto shun & ruri dont realize that kaito is going to the same school as them until all four of them are present at a queer alliance meet & greet. shun glares at him across the room for a while before yuuto notices he's there and goes over to say hello like a decent person. yuuto and kaito immediately hit it off again. theyre both kind of "fuck you grew into yourself really well im Gay."

immm gonna say that in first year, yuuto & shun live in the dorms together. they eventually decide the res life is not for them but. apartment hunting when youre like 18 and moving out for the first time is a bit much, so dorms it is.

anyway, shun catches yuuto and kaito making out in their shared dormroom like 3 fucking days after the meet and greet. kaito's expression is one of fear and conveys that he knows full well that shun is 2 seconds from beating him up. yuuto is kinda pissed off about it. yuuto and shun have a long conversation that night about how protective shun is. they fall asleep in each other's arms.

kaito avoids them for a little while, but the next time they see him, shun makes a genuine apology. yuuto and kaito start dating again a few weeks later. ruri is surprised and delighted about it. ruri ends up dormed with rin in first year.

they get along reasonably well, but they dont get close until rin accidentally lets slip that she's gay, and then ruri is like "oh thank god, me too." the context is probably: that yuugo visits them like basically every other day, and is Really Obviously In Love with rin, and rin's affectionate with him, so ruri just kind of assumes theyre dating. and at one point is like, do you want me to go somewhere else so you guys can make out, i could hang out with my brother tonight its nbd. yuugo blushes bright red and is like aaaaa its not like that, like, exactly like he does in canon. and rin's like “lmao im gay. i mean. what.”

ruri probably ids as pan? but anyway, shes like "ohhhh cool me too.” they both kind of stare at each other while this new info sinks in, and then yuugo says something and the moment is broken.

this is still a bit before yuugo's gay crisis

[later, during yuugo's gay crisis about yuuya] [rin] yuugo you had a crush on a boy in /middle school/ [yuugo] no i didnt i had a crush on you [rin] you used to complain to me about how hot he was like every lunch break [yuugo] that doesn't mean anything? [rin] obviously it does? how are you only realizing this now

ruri discovers that rin's been wanting to go to queer alliance meetings but has been too shy about it, so she drags her along. and someone mistakes them for yuzu and selena. idk who it would be..... sawatari maybe?

sawatari is like, Flaming Gay, a legitimate twink despite iding as bi.

anyway theyre like, thats not us, youre mistaken, and sawatari, instead of fucking off, is like, "holy fuck you have to meet them, you look so much the same it's eery." sawatari drags them through the party for like 20 minutes before actually finding yuzu and selena, and he's like "look i told you."

and all four of them are kind of like "holy fuck???" they get a selfie together, its not very good because the lighting is terrible, and they spend the rest of the evening hanging out.

yuzu and selena had a class together and hit it off immediately, theyre already dating. theyre a bit surprised to learn that ruri and rin /aren't/ dating. rin blushes at the suggestion and gets raised eyebrows all around. the four of them become fast friends and start getting lunch together and studying together on a regular basis.

ruri and rin meet yuuya through them, and because yuuya is friends with Everyone, they become friends as well. which sets the stage for yuuya and yuugo meeting, and yuugo's consequent gay crisis.

shun, ruri, and yuuto as pakistani immigrants, they arrived when they were very very young but they get a lot of shit for it anyway, especially ruri, who wears a hijab.

i figure the commons would be mostly latinx/mixed. so like, yuugo, rin, and shinji are all latinx. i rlly like the concept of black crow with a bleached-orange hi-top fade and subtle freckles. yuuya, yuzu, and gongenzaka can pprrobably be white? dennis could be ethnically jewish & light-skinned. fusion dimension crew are mostly japanese, so sora, yuuri, and selena. i.. am not really sure about reiji? following the theme i guess white/japanese mixed. tsukikage is japenese & immigrated like within his memory rather than a few generations back, he's bilingual. jack is latino and white-passing.

i like the concept of shun as a veterinary student, partly because i think he'd follow his interest in birds if things hadn't gone horribly wrong and partly because i find the idea of this edgy asshole in scrubs really funny. yuuto takes social work and ends up with crow as a teacher. yuuya, dennis, sawatari, and sora are all drama majors. yuuri is in botany. reiji is a law major, as well as being on the debate team and the student council. he never fuckign sleeps. shun also joins the debate team, and they do Not get along, but since debate team is the yelling hobby anyway, thats fine. yuzu is in the music program. selena is in poli-sci. yuugo stays in engineering. i dont, know about the rest of everyone.

conceptually, this is a north-eastern reasonably liberal college town, featuring two colleges and a trade school. one college is for the arc v kids, the other one will eventually be populated with zexal kids when i get to know them. kaito starts in zexal school and transfers at the beginning of second year. everyone is in first year rn except reiji and tsukikage, who are in second year, and also are dorming together, and also are gay.

so now that thats all set up!! back to the plot!!

ruri and rin meeting yuzu and selena happens a couple weeks after ruri and sayaka break up. selena hears about it and is like, hey if you need a rebound i can hook you up with someone, and ruri is like. "i feel like itd be disrespectful to date someone else before im over sayaka, ill stay single for a while." she never actually completely gets over sayaka, but she does eventually get enough emotional distance to move on. every time she goes home for the holidays they have awkward not-quite-gay moments.

much like in sfu, sawatari is loaded and hosts house parties whenever his father is away on business trips.

once the 4 girls are hanging out on a regular basis, they all sort of get to know each other's orbital boys. like rin and ruri get introduced to yuuya and get to know sawatari better. yuuya's goal is to be friends with absolutely everyone, and they make good progress on it.

yuzu and selena get to meet yuugo. yuugo is starry-eyed at all four of them, but alas, they are all too gay for him. at one point selena slaps him in the face and he spends like the next two weeks thinking about it lmao

likewise, they all get to meet shun. shun immediately decides that he is going to protect all of them. rin finds it kind of cute, yuzu finds it kind of weird, selena is outright offended about it. they get along a lot better with yuuto, since yuuto is just, easier to get along with. he joins their lunch dates once in a while, as does yuuya.

selena and yuuri met in their high school gsa and relentlessly gossip about everyone they meet. selena introduces yuuri to the rest of the girls exactly once, it does not go well. probably kye gives them all backhanded compliments. shun hears about this from ruri later and decides that yuuri is his enemy.

the first time yuuya and yuugo meet, its because the girls have invited both of them to lunch. yuuya introduces themself with a firm handshake and a wink. yuuya flirts a bit throughout the meal, as they tend to do. yuzu tells yuugo after the fact like, "dont mind them, theyre always like that." yuugo tries not to think about it much.

the second time they meet is at one of sawatari's giant house parties. yuuya, being slightly inebriated, is even more flirtacious than usual. yuugo gets it into his head that this is some kind of challenge, and refuses to back down from yuuyas advances until theyre in a closet together and yuuyas hand is up his shirt.

the next gay he visits rin to have a gay crisis. ruri politely sees herself out so they can talk.

i want to say shun is having a similar crisis about having come very close to having a one night stand with reiji. not because it was gay but because he hates the guy.

rin is exasperated but understanding, she rubs yuugo's back and calls him a pathetic baby while he whines. by the end of their conversation, yuugo has accepted that he's bi, and additionally, that making out is Great and he should do more of it. rin is slightly worried and gives him a safe sex talk, he yells and covers his ears during the entire thing.

meanwhile, shun is like "i fucking hate that guy why was it so satisfying to bite him" and ruri is like "bro i love you but thats way tmi, please do not tell me about your sadistic hatesex kink or whatever the fuck it is youre trying to convey." yuuto, also present, is like "i cant believe you made out with that asshole, and you still have the nerve to get angry at basically anyone i kiss for no fucking reason." shun swears up and down that it will not happen again, and also says that he has already apologized several times for being possessive about both of them, please let him live it down.

(it absolutely does happen again.)

(the second time they actually do go all the way, it is the best sex of shun's life, and he's upset about it.)

[yuuto voice] you have a Problem, why cant you date someone decent and have vanilla sex like the rest of us

rin slowly develops a huge crush on ruri. when she tells yuugo about it, hes like "yeah she's really pretty i completely understand."

[amontilladont]

Character solidifying: Lucien

So I used this handy list to create a good masterpost of headcanons about my lucien! I will ofc put this under a Read more, but if you want to know more in-detail about my specific Lucien, this is a good read!

1. How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have?

Lucien has a super close relationship with his dad, but Due to being a teenager, he at times Prefers to act neutral about him. Lucien knows his Father has struggled, being a single father, struggling balancing a job, dealing with his, at times, reckless behavior, and pursuing his passions of historical life. He looks up to him, and is proud of his father's journey, and success in living as somsone he is comfortable with, and loves him alot.

2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have?

Lucien have very, very few memories of Damien pre-transition, but he doesn't look back on those years, as he knows the person from back then is not his Father, and his father prefers to not think of that time, other than remembering his birth. It's a silent agreement in the small family to not bring up those years, unless talking about Lucien's birth, and childhood.

3. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Why? What do they despise about their siblings?

Lucien is an only child.

4. What type of discipline was your character subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient?

Lucien was raised rather leniently, as Damien believes more in diplomatic parenting than authoritarian parenting. however, he can get upset if Lucien endangers himself or others, and understands that most times, Lucien has no ill intentions.

5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered?

Lucien, being an only child, is of course Damien's Treasure, but he's never been extremely sheltered, and more allowed to experience life himself. Of course, he'd not get left alone for hours, but he wasn't sheltered, or hidden away.

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

Lucien, when he was 5-6 years old, was very alone, seeing as his Father got very busy with transitioning, therapy, and work, so Lucien spent most of his very young years alone, with Mary, or other babysitters, rather than with his father. Lucien doesn't remember alot of this time, but he do remember when things got from lonely to better, and when his father started to change, appearance wise and mood-wise, when he got more confident, happy with himself, as due to his transition going well. He does not remember feeling very rejected, but he does remember loneliness, or late nights of staying up and waiting for Damien to come home, often staying up long past his bedtime, just so he could see Damien before going to bed. The very few times he didn't, he had nightmares, or bad sleep.

[AVAILABLE TO BE CHANGED DEPENDING ON WHO I AM ROLEPLAYING WITH]

7. What was the economic status of their family?

They are currently rather well-off, but there are often mishaps coming along with being a single parent.

8. How does your character feel about religion?

Lucien doesn't like religion when used to spread hate, homophobia, etc, but he is very open to people from different religions, not judging people, and tries his best to respect people with dietary needs due to religion.

9. What about political beliefs?

Lucien strongly believe in anarchy, he doesn't like politics dictating people's lives and choices. He'd also beconsidered a liberal, but he never claims he is either or another.

10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted?

Lucien is very street-smart, and due to his upbringing, has a lot of historical knowledge, but sometimes people think he is uneducated due to his uncaring attitude to what he considers "useless" subjects, aka math, and of course, sociology.

11. How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated?

Lucien sees himself as a free spirit, willing to do whatever for his self-expression. his sense of self is extremely important for him.

12. How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations?

Due to Lucien's upbringing, he CAN, if he has the needs to, dribble out a speech that could Rival Orcar Wilde, but in daisly conversations, he has a rather single way of speech, keeping his sentences short, unless he has to explain things.

13. Did they like school? Teachers? Schoolmates?

Lucien's feelngs when it comes to school in general is that it's a sort of prison, with forced education, and removing of indvidulity, and in a sense, he sees teachers as the ultimate authoritary, and he is very anti-authority. He often is very defiant when it comes to school, causing troule, skipping classes, vandalizing, and pulling pranks that ends up getting him suspended, and a few times risk expulsion. His classmates aren't very noticeable for him, except his close friends, or the other kids at the cul-de-sac.

14. Were they involved at school? Sports? Clubs? Debate? Were they unconnected?

Lucien strongly refuses to join clubs, or partake in activities that are established by others.

15. Did they graduate? High-School? College? Do they have a PHD? A GED?

Lucien is still in high school, but did go through elementary and middle school with no trouble. Only last year of middleschool did he start getting difficult.

16. What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike?

Lucien goes to school, and has no part-time job, but he does sell Oregano for Molly, who works at the record store downtown, which evolved due to an incident that started as a joke on Ernest, and now has evolved into a scam, and sometimes selling actual weed. He keeps that as a deep secret.

17. Did they travel? Where? Why? When?

Lucien is a bit of a freeroamer, and often disappears during long weekends or schoolbreaks, and oftentimes doesn't talk about where or why, but often he goes with friends, getting in trouble or going to concerts out-of-state.

18. What did they find abroad, and what did they remember?

^see above answer

19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

smallest disillusion: That the Victorian era was filled of happiness and beauty. He learned later on about all the horrors and discomfort of the old era.

biggest disillusion: That people could be evil enough to hurt, attack, or even murder people just for who they were born as. When he discovered Transphobia and Homophobia he at first believed it was a rare event, but later learnin that there were full-on political movements trying to stop people from being happy as themselves, he realized the world is not so accepting.

20. What were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced?

The first time his father 'passed' with him, aka the first time people immediately called Damien Lucien's 'Father' intead of 'Mother'.

21. What are your character’s manners like? What is their type of hero? Whom do they hate?

Lucien was raised to be very polite, but he intentionally acts rude as it fits into his personality more, but he seldom pushes it, and often only needs to be told once to behave himself. he does often behave in a sarcastic manner, but a quick frown from Damien can stop him from insulting anyone.

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner?

Lucien's friends at school is the stereotypical 'goth gaggle', a group of five other kids that share his interests, and style. He is also very close to all the kids in the cul-de-sac, but Ernest is considerd his closest friend, living next door to each other and getting in trouble together means they have bonded to the point they are inseparable, and often, i you find one of them, the other is not far behind.

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

Lucien doesn't really care about relationships, seeing as he pefers to be alone, but if he would have a partner, he'd mostly just ook that they wouldn't stray too far away from his personality. He'd not want to date someone who's a big snitch. He wouldn't demand they matched his aesthetic, or is lifestyle, but he'd want them to be open-mined, and obviously, not transphobic/homophobic.

24. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

Lucien's social life mostly involvs his goth group, and with them he often either hangs around at Maple Bay mall, outside the school to cause trouble, or at times goes to concerts with them. With Ernest, or any of the cul-de-sac kids, he's often very different. being the oldest he ften ends up sort of guarding them, despite being very incapable of fighting, he watches over them. They mostly spend time during Joseph's Barbeques, talking to each other, and trying to avoid the grown ups.

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

Lucien has some hobbies he only shows with certain people. If he's alone at home, he can easily get sucked into a book, ending up reading for hours. He does like going to the movies with his dad, but he would much prefer going with his friends. Lucien has some musical hobbies as well, going to concerts, hanging around the local record shop and sometimes even spending time at the coffe spoon with Ernest to study together.

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

Due to Damien's aesthetic being victorian gothic, Lucien's style has ened up in a more modern way of life, dressing more like the late 2000's gothic, or punk style, but he also fits into the grunge scenery. He's very into body modification in the form of pircings and tattoos, and dyed hair. Lucien's bedroom is actually very unlike the rest of their house, Damien working hard on the home's aesthetic, making LUcien's room, and even door, shine out as odd.

27. How do they relate to their appearance? How do they wear their clothing? Style? Quality?

^see above answer

28. Who is your character’s mate? How do they relate to him or her? How did they make their choice?

N/A

29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling?

Lucien has a bit of an over-expecting personality, expecting others to have the same views as him on alot of things, and sometimes, when he pushed his pranks onto others, he doesn't understand why someone would get offended at his michief.

30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive?

Lucien can never for give any person who has ever insulted his dad, wether minor or major insult.

31. Does your character have children? How do they feel about their parental role? About the children? How do the children relate?

No, Lucien is 16. He does not have children yet.

32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?

When lucien gets stressed he tends to have two reactions. He either gets agressive, answering people in a quick, angry tone, which often means he snaps at well-meaning people, like his dad or his friends. Other instances though, he goes quiet and locks himself away, aviding socialization until he feels better.

33. Do they drink? Take drugs? What about their health? [DRUG USE TW]

Lucien tends to sometimes drink wine, when he's alone at home, but he does so very rarely, and nly very little. He has only gotten drunk twice in his life, during weekends out with his friends. Lucien has smoked weed a few times in his life, smokes cigarettes at times, and when with Ernest, vapes, but he tends to avoid doing such around Damien, not wanting him to worry, or get angry.

34. Does your character feel self-righteous? Revengeful? Contemptuous?

With everyone describing Lucien as different things, he often is contemptous about being put into labels, such as 'Rebellious', 'delinquent' or other Negative phrases, but he's also very apathetic to them, as he has ore of a sense that, people can think what they want, but he knows what he truly is, and if they are right or wrong.

35. Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures?

Lucien often tries to avoid failures, due to his pranks, failure can mean ending up getting in trouble, and he has a sort of anxiety about failing, and tries to plan ahead to avoid it. Smetimes he fails though, and he can end up getting slight anxiety attacks when it happens.

36. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?

Despite Lucien often pranking people, he's not a spiteful person, and doesn't like t see anyone suffer, except if they have hurt his dad, minor or majorly. He tends to prank people in a personal vendetta, but tries his best not to cause genuine harm. Of course, sometimes things go roughly, and he ends up harming someone, and he ends up often feeling extremely bad about it, unless he talks to his dad about it.

37. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

Lucien has a habit of when he listes to music, he phases out, and disappears in a sort of trance. His imagination isn't verly imaginative, as he doesn't really enjoy fantasy, so his daydreams often ends up being more realistic, and the few times he does end up on a bit of a surrealistic side, he often tries to steer his daydreams into a more realistic zone.

38. Are they basically negative when facing new things? Suspicious? Hostile? Scared? Enthusiastic?

Lucien is a bit of a mix between hostile to new things, and enthusiastic, he values the outcome of the new thing, it can be listening to a new music band, travelling to a new place, pranking a new person, etc. He tried his best to figure out a plan to get the best utcome of trying new things, and when it goes badly, he shuts down and refuses to try it again to try a new outcome.

39. What do they like to ridicule? What do they find stupid?

gullible people, he often takes advantage of people not knowing things he does know, to twist things and cause confusion, r scare people. He also liked to be mrbid and clzim, ex. that the cul-de-sac is buit over graves of innocents, or that his home is haunted, or that he sometimes sees people dragging bodies around and burying them in their yard.

40. How is their sense of humor? Do they have one?

^see above

41. Is your character aware of who they are? Strengths? Weaknesses? Idiosyncrasies? Capable of self-irony?

Lucien is aware that he can be rather selfish at moments, and in other moments that he cn react rather harshly to small matters, but the problem is he can be very apathetic to the damage he may potentially cause, via being rude, or harming people. he can also come off as rather reckless at times, and the few people who are allowed to see his vulnerable side, can see him as gentle and sympathtic, or even kind. Lucien denies all of it, though.

42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

Lucien wants understanding, and acceptance. His wants mostly go with being who you want to be, and not being forced to do certain things based on who you are. He mostly just wants a right to express himself freely.

43. Does your character have any secrets? If so, are they holding them back?

Lucien's secrets are mostly secrets he hs because the truth would get him in trouble, such as his Oregano scam-weed dealing, his troublemaking, or his wanderlust tendencies.

44. How badly do they want to obtain their life objectives? How do they pursue them?

Being a teenager, he doesn't have a lot, or barely any lifelong goals.

45. Is your character pragmatic? Think first? Responsible? All action? A visionary? Passionate? Quixotic?

Lucien can be called irresponsible, reckless, quck-tempered and very ill-temepered at times, but he ften change based on who he is around. Damien often clls Lucien responsible and well-mannered, but most people only know him as grumpy.

46. Is your character tall? Short? What about size? Weight? Posture? How do they feel about their physical body?

Lucien has a tall-slender build, having had some problems being underweight. He is 5'7" at age 16, and is still growing. he desn't feel too bad about his body, other than that he doesn't have enough body modifications, aka  piercings and tattoos.

47. Do they want to project an image of a younger, older, more important person? Does they want to be visible or invisible?

He wants to be consideed mature, but often fails due to his quick temper, and his apathy.

48. How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled? Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish?

Lucien moved very slowly, and isn't very epressive on his bosy language other thn facial expressions, and while there aren't alow of significant expressions, he doesn't stop himself from expressing what he feels.

49. What about voice? Pitch? Strength? Tempo and rhythm of speech? Pronunciation? Accent?

Lucien' voice is often very low, and he doesn't like speaking long sentences, preferably using shrugging of the shoulders, nods, and grunting noises rather than long phrases.

50. What are the prevailing facial expressions? Sour? Cheerful? Dominating?

Lucien's expressions are few, and he has a very significant scowl on his face most of the time. He does have some smug expressions, but thse are rare, and only really Damien is able to get a genuine smile out of him, or seen him cry.

[themoon-andvoid]

1-102 for the ask thing

1.) what’s a song you depict with your childhood? doesn't remind me- audioslave
2.) did you have a memorable childhood pet? Ophelia!!! She was a beautiful and amazing cat
3.) have you ever been drunk? Ya
4.) have you ever tried drugs? U bet
5.) have you ever completely regretted what you’ve said? Yep
6.) have you ever made someone cry? Yeah
7.) has someone ever made you cry? Yep!
8.) have you ever been in love? if so, describe the moment you knew it. Yeah, the first time I fell in love I knew because she just gave me this feeling like I only wanted the best for her regardless of if she was with me or not (but it was awful to see her with anyone else)
9.) which came first the chicken or the egg? Chicken
10.) are you part of the lgbtq+ community? do you support them? I'm queer af
11.) how many siblings do you have? 4
12.) have you ever been in love with someone you couldn’t love? This is gay culture/ yes
13.) are you a good cook? Eh
14.) what is your favorite tv show? the Gay and Wonderous Life of Caleb Gallo!
15.) what is the last movie you cried during? Tbh that one with Robert pattinson where he dies
16.) what are songs you’ve cried to when you first heard them? (if any) Space Oddity- David Bowie
17.) do you have a middle name? Elaina Dorothy
18.) have you been out of your country? Yeah I've been to the US, France, and Spain!
19.) are you a chocolate fan or not? Yaaa
20.) how many people have you kissed? Not counting truth or dare kisses with friends- 11? At least
21.) what is your favorite album? Rn probably Digital Druglord or Nothing Above Nothing Below
22.) what is your dream car? Something old and aesthetic
23.) what is your lucky/favorite number? 9
24.) what is your favorite flower? Baby's breath?
25.) books or movies, why? Books bc they've always been there for me
26.) have you ever been on a blind date? No
27.) has one of your friends ever backstabbed you? High school in a nutshell
28.) have you ever backstabbed one of your friends? Probably
29.) what thing do you symbolize love with? Making people watch heathers
30.) do you have neat handwriting? Noooo
31.) do you have a friend with benefits? Sorta
32.) do you want a friend with benefits? Depends on the alternative 
33.) if you could be anything in the world, what would you be? Not mentally ill
34.) have you ever been blackout drunk? Far too many times, far too often
35.) have you ever met someone famous? A couple musicians ?
36.) how many concerts have you been to? A bunch
37.) which concerts have you been to? I can't remember things rn
38.) do you have a hidden talent? ;)
39.) what do you do when you’re stressed? Masturbate/smoke/cry/run repeat
40.) do you think money can buy love? Not real love
41.) how old would you date? 20
42.) have you ever done something illegal? Shoplifting+ tresspassing
43.) what is your biggest fear? Being alone and unloved
44.) what is an unusual fear you have? Idk
45.) can you drive? Less can you, more should you
46.) do you believe in supernatural creatures? Sorta
47.) do you believe in karma? Yes
48.) what is one quality you need in your partner? Independence 
49.) do looks matter? Yes (not conventional beauty tho)
50.) does size matter? Nah
51.) who is the last person you forgave? I'm more of the one to be forgiven 
52.) what is your favorite ice cream flavor? Coffee or caramel or chocolate 
53.) what languages can you speak besides english? French-ish
54.) ever been on a plane? Ya
55.) ever been on a boat? Ya
56.) is there anyone you’ve lost touch with that you wish you hadn’t? Yep
57.) are there any friendships you regret? Yes
58.) are there any friendships you wish you could make? Yeah
59.) have you ever stayed awake for 24 (+) hours? Yep
60.) have you ever walked outside after 12 am? Yes it's my favourite thing
61.) have you ever seen a sunrise completely through? Yeah!
62.) are you scared of rollercoasters? Yes
63.) on a scale of 1-10 how stressed are you usually? 6
64.) do you have any plans this weekend? Take a bath, call Addison, see my friends! And work :-(
65.) do you miss anyone right now? Yeah
66.) who do you wish you were talking to right now? Jade or Simon or Addison or Avery I miss Avery sm tbh
67.) if you could have any superpower, what would it be? Super good memory
68.) who is your favorite superhero? Spider-Man tbh
69.) are you dirty minded? Ya
70.) what is your favorite song from every decade starting at that 80’s? Can't pick just one
71.) how many kids, if any, do you want? MAYBE one
72.) who is your biggest OTP? Me n mental stability 
73.) what is your favorite food? Is latte foam food 
74.) do you want to be married one day? Fuck that but also yes ya feel 
75.) dogs or cats? Both 
76.) do you drink enough water daily? So much
77.) have you ever seen a shooting star? I think
78.) if you had the opportunity to go to the moon, would you? Nah
79.) how many best friends do you have? 1 soulmate, 4 best friends
80.) when was the last time you cried? Yesterday
81.) have you ever laughed so hard you peed yourself? I think so
82.) have you ever made anyone laugh so hard they peed? Maybe?
83.) if you could travel any where in the world, where would you go? California 
84.) what are 3 words you would use to describe yourself? Gay, anxious, loser
85.) do you consider yourself a loyal person? Yep
86.) what is your favorite season and why? Fall! Perfect weather for my fav clothes+ halloween
87.) have you ever told anyone you loved them, and didn’t mean it? All the time my dude
88.) do you know how to play any instruments? Yeah! Cello guitar bass uke and piano
89.) do like like falling asleep to music or not? Yep
90.) what are you allergic to? Healthy stable relationships
91.) have you ever wanted to be someone else for a day just so you could see what there life is like? Yeah
92.) if you could be any character from your favorite tv show would you, and if so, who would you be? I'd be Jon snow bc he pretty
93.) if you could be best friends with any celebrity who would it be and why? He's not really a celebrity but I wanna hang out w Matt toka 
94.) are you outgoing? Trying 2 b
95.) have you ever wanted to kiss someone, but weren’t brave enough to? Story of my life
96.) are you a good flirt? Good? Debatable. Flirt? Yes.
97.) have you ever been turned down, or have you ever turned anyone down? Ya and ya!
98.) which planet is your favorite? This one
99.) are you superstitious? A bit
100.) are you a good listener? I think so
101.) are you a good kisser? Apparently! I've been told that quite a bit
102.) would you kiss any of your friends? I think I have kissed all my friends (who live within kissing distance)

[theotherboywhonevergrewup]

MY TOP 10 SONGS OF 2018

Disclaimer: These are certainly not the “best” in terms of musical quality, nor are they what I think are the “best.”  They’re not even my favorite songs of 2018.  They are simply the 10 songs I find to be most defined the year 2018 for me.

I think the first thing I should mention is that Rihanna had released absolutely zero songs this year.  She did not even feature on one, which is the first year that this has happened ever since she started her career.  This also means this is the very first time she has not made this list.  Hope to hear new music in 2019!  I would also like to give an honorable mention to “Lost in Japan” by Shawn Mendes which was on this list before I arranged it.

10. “Give Yourself a Try” by The 1975

And I was 25 and afraid to go outside A millennial that baby-boomers like Won't you give yourself a try?

I had the honor of seeing The 1975 live in 2017, and it was an incredible show.  The band’s lights perfectly matched the mood of each of the songs, taking the crowd through an emotional rollercoaster.  Most notably their hit “Somebody Else” took everyone to a different place.  Their 2018 release, A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships, is another definitive 1975 album, with songs like “Be My Mistake,” “Sincerity is Scary,” “It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You),” “Surrounded by Heads and Bodies,” “Mine,” and “I Couldn’t Be More In Love” being my favorites.  “Give Yourself a Try” gets the 10th place on this list because it was the most prominent single that made the biggest impact on me.  In true 1975 manner, it lyrically dives into a dark place with mentions of fear of growing old, STDs, suicide, depression, and drug addiction, but all oddly over Joy Division’s “Disorder” bright guitar riff and bouncy drums.  This song is the epitome of singer and writer Matt Healy’s open honesty about such subjects but in a positive way, moreso as advice given to their younger selves but more importantly their fans.  Ironically, I also struggled with anxiety and depression when I was 25, so this song speaks to me in that you’re never alone and you live and you learn.  He’s encouraging us to let go of all those fears and things that don’t matter and really give ourselves a try.

9. “Get It” by Busta Rhymes featuring Missy Elliott and Kelly Rowland

Every time we step up in the spot Homie, I'ma take yo shine from you Homie, you ain't got the slightest clue Diamonds'll shine with the brightest blue

I’m not the biggest Busta Rhymes fan, but he has been such a constant presence ever since I was little, so his songs have always gotten me hyped up.  Even moreso, Missy Elliott was always playing in the house when I was little.  “Get Ur Freak On” was one of the most memorable tracks of my childhood.  Last but certainly not least, Kelly Rowland is absolutely one of my favorite singers ever.  Her new single “Kelly” was her first main artist release in five years and it does not disappoint.  It’s such a banger, and I love how she continues to grow in her confidence.  Something about having all three of these people on one track really got me going.  It felt like bringing back my childhood but also felt so fresh.  Busta and Missy do not hold back, and their raps were a stark contrast to the ever-popular mumble rap of 2018.  Not saying that there’s anything wrong with mumble rap necessarily; it’s just not my cup of tea.  My only gripe with this song is I wish that Kelly was on it more than just the sample.  Even then, I can’t be that mad because it goes so hard!

8. “Love Lies” by Khalid and Normani

If you're down, don't hide it Feelin' me, you don't gotta deny it Baby you gon' make me overnight it Tell me, are you down?

Last year, Khalid’s “Location” made my 2017 list.  I had mentioned that none of his other tracks really stood out to me, but I was hopeful for his future releases.  Well, “Love Lies” certainly does not disappoint.  Again, the slower, bumping R&B beat really supported Khalid’s smooth, deeper vocals sliding on top.  I am a sucker for duets, and who better to add to this track than the smoothest Fifth Harmony member Normani.  While she vocally may be on the weaker end of her former group, her voice perfectly fits this type of song as it flows over the deeper sounds.  Normani just oozes sexiness too as she adds a little bit of flair to both the video and live performances of this song with some choreography.  She really made 2018 her own, and I look forward to her future releases as well!  The only thing that is holding this track back for me is that it is for a film, Love, Simon.  I’m always wary of made-for-film songs because I’m not sure how true the artists of the song are being to the piece itself or if has been molded to fit the film’s narrative or theme.

7. “All the Stars” by Kendrick Lamar and SZA

I hate people that feel entitled Look at me crazy 'cause I ain't invite you Oh, you important? You the moral to the story, you endorsing? ..., I don't even like you

I’ve been following SZA for a few years now, and I have to say that she is really making a name for herself and changing the R&B game.  Of all the megahits this year, this is easily my favorite.  It’s received one Oscar nomination and four Grammy nominations, and it deserves every ounce of the respect it’s been given.  The simple rocking beat serves as a metronome for some more complicated percussion as Kendrick expertly serves his flow, slowly introducing the synths and strings that allow SZA to take the song to an otherworldly place.  The music video is absolutely stunning too.  Like “Love Lies,” however, this song is held back for me in that it was also made for a film, Black Panther.  I am not saying either of these films are bad necessarily, in fact, they were both fun movies.  I’m just saying I wonder where these artists could have taken these songs if they were completely untied from any other projects.

6. “We Don’t Care” by Sigala featuring The Vamps

Try to keep my composure Would be easy if I was sober But you keep getting closer And I'm feeling alright

Another artist that was on my top 2017 songs, The Vamps had several bops this year, including singles “Too Good to Be True,” “Hair Too Long,” and “Just My Type” and non-singles “What Your Father Says” and “Cheap Wine.”  I had the opportunity to not only see these guys perform live but also finally meet them!  They were the nicest dudes, and it was definitely a highlight of the year.  My favorite 2018 release by them though was their feature on Sigala’s “We Don’t Care.”  Even though it’s not their track, it harkens back to many Vamps songs just about having a good time, and that stress-free nature is why I love them.  Sigala certainly knew how to make the best of this collaboration, and I feel like I’ll be dancing to this for years to come.

5. “Tempo” by EXO

I can’t believe 기다렸던 이런 느낌 (oh) 나��� 듣고 싶은 그녀는 나의 멜로디

For reasons I will explain later in this post (see entry #3), I have officially fallen in love with K-pop, and in my search to find more K-pop artists to love, I have oddly landed back to one that I saw live a few years ago, EXO.  In 2015 or 2016, my friend Brit became “ill” to K-pop fever and fell in love with EXO.  As someone who claims to love all genres (with a few exceptions), she asked me to go with her to their concert in 2016.  I did not hesitate at the opportunity, and while I saw that they were truly talented, something held me back from loving them at the time.  While I had never really been a K-pop fan in the past, I was aware of what they could deliver.  When it came to boybands in particular, I was aware of Big Bang, Super Junior, and SHINee and how different their songs were from American and European music beyond the language they are sung or rapped in.  However, I found EXO’s repertoire to be quite lackluster at the time.  This was before the release of Ex’Act, so their biggest hits at the time were “Growl,” “Overdose,” “Call Me Baby,” and “Love Me Right.”  With the exception of “Overdose,” these songs as well as a lot of their other songs sounded too familiar.  They were safe R&B vibes, and as someone who grew up with R&B, these songs did not stand out to me.  “Overdose” was somewhat of a highlight, but it was still just a bit lacking to me.  My favorite song of theirs at the time became “Wolf” (and Brit aptly made fun of me for it lol).  Sure, “Wolf” gets made fun of because it’s kind of a mess of a song, but that’s why I love it.  It’s so out there and experimental.  It was EXO trying to find their voice.  It wasn’t safe; every aspect of it goes hard (maybe too hard).  The icing on the cake that “Overdose” was missing?  Chen!  Let me quickly explain my love for Chen.  This man (who I’m exactly only 10 days older than!) has the voice of an angel.  Even back then when I went to their concert and couldn’t remember any of their names for the life of me, I remember telling Brit, “The one with the cheekbones has the best voice!”  And while “best” is debatable with Baekhyun and D.O. in the group (and even compared to other vocal powerhouses like Super Junior-K.R.Y., and y’all, don’t you dare sleep on Suho), Chen still stands out to me because his vocal quality is 100% the kind of voice that I wish I had.  He has this vibrant, clear tenor timbre to his voice that I find so pleasing.  Chen is apparently the least favorite EXO member for whatever reason (maybe he’s the ugliest? idk, I’m not a girl/don’t like men), and some people say his voice is less emotional than the others.  I disagree, as I think the lightness in his voice just puts the emotion in a different place where people aren’t used to hearing it.  Regardless, since “Overdose” was made when they had the EXO-K and EXO-M split before, it largely lacked Chen vocals, and he goes hard in “Wolf.”  All this to say, when I revisited EXO’s discography this year, it was chock-full of hit after hit that finally filled that sweet-tooth K-pop craving.  They were no longer standard R&B hits.  They were each creative directions, starting with “Monster” which built off of many of the same vibes as “Wolf” and “Overdose” but with more expertise and a healthy dose of Chen (“Don’t be afraid / Love is the way / Shawty I got it / You can call me monster” what an english-god! lol), to “Ko Ko Bop” which is a reggae fusion smash (if you know that I love Rihanna, then you gotta know that I love me some reggae fusion and who knew that it would fuse so well with K-pop), to the infectiously fun and upbeat “Power” that they performed at the Olymics closing ceremony.

Now let me finally get to why I am obsessed with “Tempo.”  Chen opens the song with “I can’t believe” and then silence.  I am a Chen fan, so you know I’m already hooked.  Then the synths come back in and there are some a capella elements.  Baekhyun dares to sing over Chen (just kidding, he sounds good too obviously).  Once Chen is done singing, the drums come in leading into the chorus, with the bed squeak which is a R&B/hip hop sample staple.  To be clear, I never wanted EXO to leave their R&B roots; I just wanted that and more from them, and this song is it.  After the second verse, instead of going back to the chorus, they hit this alternate “slowed down” version of the chorus which again hits different R&B vibes, and this beautiful piano brings us to the a capella portion and oh my.  Then Chen’s scream signals the piano, drums, synth, squeaky bed, and everything to go into the last chorus.  And let’s not forget his Michael Jackson-esque ad-lib.  The line distribution was mostly fair too.  I mean, obviously I’m biased, but Sehun got a whole rap section.  If anyone, Xiumin and D.O. (and Sehun) probably could have used more lines somehow.  Lay was even in the Chinese version (though I’m not sure how many songs he was gone for?)  But honestly, zero complaints here.  GET IT GUYS.

4. “Remind Me to Forget” by Kygo featuring Miguel

I need you to let go I got these mementos And I'll be alright

Shortly after my breakup this year, I still had tickets to see Miguel and no one to go with.  So I asked my ex if she still wanted to go, and she did.  He performed all my favorite songs by him, including “Adorn,” “Sure Thing,” and “Pineapple Skies.”  It was kind of an ethereal experience in a way.  A huge amount of his repertoire is baby-making music, and boy did that make a mood that night.  I’m not sure if she realized it, but Miguel was actually what I put on during our second date (I also just remembered that his song was on when we had our first kiss during our first date).  But this song (which he did not perform but played afterwards as everyone was leaving the venue) is lyrically actually so significant to that relationship.  Kygo’s echoey instrumentals was a match made in heaven for Miguel’s soaring vocals, and while the song doesn’t exactly convey pain, it beautifully encapsulates letting go of a relationship.  I still like my ex as a friend, but from experience we know that’s all it should be.

3. “Ddu-Du Ddu-Du” by BLACKPINK

두 번 생각해 흔한 남들처럼 착한 척은 못 하니까 착각하지 마 쉽게 웃어주는 건 날 위한 거야

All right, here’s how I became ill with K-pop fever.  As I’ve mentioned in entry #5, I try to be a lover of all genres of music.  I’m not perfect; I have a few dislikes: parodies (because I want the originals to stand out), covers and remixes (for the same reason), anything I find lyrically too heavy or too opposed to my values, and anything that includes too much screaming.  When it comes to falling in love with a genre, I’ve noticed I have a trend: I fall in love with a girl.  Sometimes it’s an actual girl that I meet, but most of the time it’s one of the singers.  R&B, hip hop, and pop is what I naturally grew up with, but Paramore got me into rock, Kelly Rowland’s collaboration with David Guetta got me into EDM, Whitney Houston got me into 80′s music, Carrie Underwood got me into country, etc.  As I’ve also mentioned, K-pop has been on my radar for several years now.  I’ve never been opposed to it (with one-ish exception, which I will get to), but I’ve just never fallen in love with it myself.  My first real exposure was about 10 years ago from my friend Kalvin.  I specifically remember hearing Girls’ Generation/SNSD’s “Gee” non-stop, and I couldn’t blame him.  It was catchy!  At the time, though I honestly was having trouble loving my identity as an Asian.  My younger self wanted to be white or black or latino.  Why?  Because if you looked at America’s standard of who was famous and attractive, there were barely any Asians, and the Asians who were there were women (Lucy Liu).  Anyways, Kalvin and a few other friends such as my prom date Esther introduced me to a few more K-pop artists over the years: Super Junior, Kara, Big Bang (and G-Dragon and Taeyang’s solo music), T-ara, 2NE1, and f(x).  I liked them, but again, I never fell in love with them.  Then, Psy’s “Gangnam Style” came into the picture.  I hated it so much because I knew this song would be many people’s first impressions of K-pop.  Psy’s talent aside, it was a song and video that was intended to be funny, almost like a parody.  This perpetuated the Western thought of Asian men being only smart and funny, not sexy.  Years later, BTS came into the picture.  While I didn’t fall in love with them either, I supported them because they are a K-pop artist that America is actually taking seriously.  Around the time I heard about BTS was also the time I first heard about BLACKPINK.  When it comes to pop music, the girls I like the most are in my opinion not too girly (i.e. SNSD) but also not too unconventional (i.e. 2NE1).  I think Rihanna is a good example of that balance.  She’ll sometimes wear all pink and sometimes go with a completely baggy hip hop vibe, but most of the time she stays somewhere in between.  When I heard “Boombayah” a few years ago, this song was so close to being my K-pop drug, but the “oppa!” and the chanting at the end of the song killed it for me.  Stars did not align back then.

This year, as I continued to grow up, I learned to love my Asian identity more than ever.  2017 was a hear of depression and anxiety and just overall hating myself, so I made a conscious decision to love myself more in all ways.  It just so happened that 2018 was the year of films like Crazy Rich Asians and To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before.  The former took a man who I find to be an average or slightly above average looking man (like the Ryan Seacrest of Asia) Henry Golding and made him into a superstar.  He even got to star alongside one of my favorites Blake Lively in A Simple Favor as her husband.  This amongst other things did wonders for me in viewing myself and Asians as attractive and equally viable partners.  To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before did something else for me.  With that movie, I realized I wanted more young Asian celebrities to fill this void of “there are no sexy Asians” because if I have a child, that child will undoubtedly be at least half Asian.  I want that child to grow up to be confident in who they are and find themselves to be absolutely beautiful or handsome.  All this to say, yes, I finally started seeing Asian girls as sexy.  Then, “Ddu-Du Ddu-Du” dropped and my life was changed lol.  Here were four sexy women (Jisoo is my bias!!) singing and rapping a song that was perfectly in between girly and unconventional.  It wasn’t the usual bubblegum pop girly K-pop, and I loved it.  After listening to it two billion times, I needed something similar, so I went back to “Boombayah.”  I found “Whistle” and then the gateways flooded.  I now listen to pretty much every K-pop artist I previously listed and more.  I am so proud of these girls charting higher on the Hot 100 than any other K-pop artist other than BTS and Psy.  I sincerely hope either BLACKPINK or BTS (or anyone really) beat Psy’s record (thank God for Maroon 5 for preventing Psy to ever hitting #1).  Here’s to hopefully a full BLACKPINK album next year and more Asian sexiness!

2. “Dangerous Night” by Thirty Seconds to Mars

I, I am a man on fire You, a violent desire

From the get-go, you can tell that this is not your ordinary Thirty Seconds to Mars track, and that’s because Zedd’s producer mark on it is undeniable.  I absolutely love the America album, especially “Rescue Me,” “Great Wide Open,” “Hail to the Victor,” and “Live Like a Dream.”  However, Zedd’s spin with “Dangerous Night” makes it hopelessly catchy.  It takes the recklessness of entry #6 and combines it with the tumultuous relationship of entry #4.  Above all, I had the opportunity to see Thirty Seconds to Mars live and to meet them in person.  What a wild night!  It was one of the best experiences of 2018.  The Leto brothers are so kind and rocked the night away.  They fought with security a couple times to let fans do what they wanted (in still a safe way).  And the absolute best part was that they invited a random select few in the crowd to go up... including me!  It was insane being on stage with my favorite band singing one of my favorite songs “Closer to the Edge” in front of thousands of people.  INSANE!  Truly a night I will never forget.

1. “Never Be the Same” by Camila Cabello

And I could try to run, but it would be useless You're to blame Just one hit of you, I knew I'll never be the same

Someone who is just looking at this list and my list from last year (where Camila also made #1) might think I’m obsessed with her haha.  I swear I’m not.  Rihanna will always be my true number one.  I honestly don’t even like that many more Camila songs than this and “I Have Questions” (last year’s number one).   I mean, I like her songs, but those two are the stand outs for me.  Anyways, Camila’s unique voice and creative runs take the cake here on this track over the equally addictive synths and drum beats.  Lyrically, the song is about being forever changed by a relationship that she doesn’t outright say is bad but heavily hints at it with the imagery she uses.  It’s kind of a love song but has the feeling of a breakup or near breakup song.  After my first date with my ex, we sat in my car for a long time just listening to the radio and while there were several cute moments like singing Ed Sheeran and Beyoncé’s “Perfect” together, one thing I remember is staring into her eyes while this song was playing.  Throughout our relationship, it became apparent that we were bad for each other in a way.  And in many ways, I will never be the same.  I don’t regret it.  I’ve learned so many things.  But yeah, even though this is not my favorite song of 2018, it is definitely the most 2018 song to describe my year.

[virgosznisforever]

MAKE OUR GENERATION SAFE AGAIN

There have been 8 school shootings this year and it’s only the 22nd of February. Forty innocent students and teachers have lost their lives at a place that is supposed to be safe; a place where we are simply to attend, learn/educate, and socialize. A place where we shouldn’t have to worry whether or not we will be gunned down while absorbing knowledge to help benefit our future. Sadly, 40 people had their future ripped away from them this year at school. We need demand for our government, who represents “we the people” to listen to “we the people” and enact legislation that will: pass sensible gun laws that will ban semi-automatic military style assault weapons, support extensive background checks for those submitting applications to purchase guns, restrict gun purchases for those with documented mental health issues, and provide resources in schools to make our generation safe again.

On December 14, 2012, a mass school shooting took place at Sandy Hook Elementary School leaving 20 children and 6 adults dead. It was the third deadliest mass shooting by a single person in US history. President Obama gave a speech the same day stating, “He would bring action to prevent such tragedies from happening again”. Multiple gun laws were proposed at the federal and state levels. Within hours of the shooting, a “We the People” user started a petition asking the White House to “Immediately address the issue of gun control through the introduction of sensible gun legislation in Congress.” On December 17, the petition reached more than 150,000 signatures. On the 19th, President Obama issued a statement announcing an inter-agency gun violence task force. Wikipedia states “Obama announced a plan for reducing gun violence in four parts: closing background check loopholes; banning assault weapons and high-capacity magazines; making schools safer; and increasing access to mental health services.”

On January 16, 2013, President Obama offered a plan for minimizing gun violence but his proposals were strongly opposed by the NRA, which heavily influences the congress through financial and verbal endorsements. Then on January 24, Senator Dianne Feinstein introduced the Assault Weapons Ban of 2013. Despite petitions, marching, and lobbying by families impacted by the devastating effects of gun violence, on April 17, 2013, the bill failed; 15 democrats, 1 independent and all the Republicans voted against it. There have been 239 school shootings nationwide and 438 people shot since that time.

Now we are here. On February 14, 2018, another mass shooting took place at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. Seventeen people were killed, fourteen wounded, and countless lives are forever changed. The shooter turned out to be a 19 year old, ex-student with mental health issues. The question is, why is a 19 year old, mentally ill student allowed to buy an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle and nine additional guns? How can this be possible? How can a troubled 19 year old legally posses this type of arsenal, however, he is not able to legally consume alcohol until 21?

Australia had one mass shooting in 1999 and immediately passed a gun law that states, “License holders must demonstrate a ‘genuine reason’ for holding a firearm license and must not be a ‘prohibited person’; All firearms in Australia must be registered by a serial number to the owner, who also holds a firearms license.”  Australia hasn’t had a mass shooting since. The same with the UK and Canada. As a matter of fact, Japan has never had a mass shooting. The USA’s first mass school shooting took place on July 26, 1764, leaving 10 dead. It was named the “Enoch Brown School Shooting” and we still don’t have any sensible gun laws. We can’t blame this problem only on the previous administration. This is a problem that we collectively bear responsibility for when we fail to hold ALL those accountable who represent “WE THE PEOPLE”; when we fail to vote; when we fail to chose political party over the lives of innocent students, teachers, and concert goers; when we fail to see past skin color and socio-economic differences to provide resources to those in need; and when we chose to be bought and silenced by lobbyist for gun associations like the NRA because of their power, influence, and money. According to www.fortune.com, “In the 2016 election, the NRA spent $11,438,118 to support Donald Trump and another $19,756,346 to oppose Hillary Clinton. That’s over $31 million spent on one presidential race.”

The NRA stands for the National Rifle Association; an “organization founded in 1871 that stands for the protection of the Second Amendment which guarantees a citizen’s right to keep and bear arms.” The Second Amendment states, “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed”. The Second Amendment was written in 1789.  The debate over the Second Amendment and a person’s individual right to bear arms continues to be the sources of strong views relating to gun ownership and legislation.  Many people believe that if we repeal the Second Amendment, it will stop the senseless killing; while others believe that their rights under the Constitution are being attacked.  After every school shooting, this debate passionately continues with little or no results.

Its simple for me, guns have no place in schools. More importantly, guns used for hunting and fighting wars have no place in schools. We are not animals, we are not enemies, we are simply kids trying to get an education. Giving a teacher a gun will not just magically fix things. So many liabilities are added on when you hand teachers a gun. Why can’t we just go to school without having to worry about guns in a classroom? A few things I believe should happen:

1. Shouldn’t be able to purchase a gun until age 21

2. Limit the number the guns a person can purchase in a 5 year period

3. Ban military style weapons, bump stocks and high-capacity gun magazines

4. People with diagnosed mental illnesses should not be able to purchase a gun

5. When purchasing a gun, a mandatory background check with a 72 hour waiting period

 This is the time to stand up. With our current administration, I don’t know if change will come or how long it’ll take. The survivors of the Parkland shooting are speaking up to end gun violence, I stand with them and you should too. I salute those teens who are making a difference and bringing justice to their family and friends. I am so proud to be apart of this generation who is constantly determined to ultimately bring change and peace to this country.  Please do whatever you can to help our country have gun control. No matter who you are, who you support, democrat or republican, black or white, these are our lives in danger. To stand up for what’s right, is the ultimate way to ACTUALLY make our country great again.

Websites that give ways to lend a hand to end gun violence:

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/oct/04/five-things-you-could-do-right-now-to-reduce-gun-violence-in-america

https://mashable.com/2018/02/15/how-to-take-action-on-gun-control/#nT17vmYW9aqi

[maksnorwood-blog]

TEACHER Turn to any dictionary and it is defined as a person who instructs students. That's it, that's all it says. That's what we thought a teacher was. How wrong we were... This is Scott Beigel, a Geography teacher at the high school in Florida where a gunman opened fire on a peaceful Wednesday afternoon. When the shots rang out he did exactly as he was trained to do, get his kids secure in the classroom and lock the door. But Scott did something else. When he saw other children running in horror from the gunfire down the hallway he put his own life at risk by opening his classroom door and ushering them in. He saved them. Before he could secure his own life however he was hit with a bullet and killed. Make no mistake - he traded his life for theirs. Our teachers have to be so many things. Yes, they have to instruct and teach what's in those textbooks but they are also social workers for the troubled children who need a friend they can't find at home. They are caregivers making sure everyone in their class has the supplies they need to succeed in the classroom and the food in their stomachs to get through the day. And now as we have seen time and time again with these school shootings they have to become the guardian angels to these poor terrified children. Unarmed and in the middle of absolute chaos they have to make split-second decisions that will save those children. That's not what a teacher signs up for but they do it willingly. If you find yourself near a school or dropping off a child and see a teacher tell them 'Thank you.' We ask the impossible of them for too little money. This is Scott Beigel. A teacher. His last moments on this earth he taught his students the most incredible lesson any of us can ever learn. He taught them that he loved them.

John Gray, Journalist & Writer

In the aftermath of the shooting at Majory Stoneman Douglas High School, we view the mass chaos erupting across all formats of social media and news platforms, for some people, the focus is not only on the slaughter of children but that of their teachers as well.

The day after the shooting in Florida, as I was speaking to a high school band director I know, the conversation turned after discussing a Frank Ticheli piece entitled ‘Rest’. The piece had been written for a friend of Ticheli’s, in honor of the friend’s young son who had recently passed away. After talking about that piece, the director’s eyes glassed over, and he refused to look at any of our faces in the room. “You know, I know the band director at that school. I know her. Those are her kids. I can’t imagine what that would feel like as a teacher to lose any of the smiling faces you look for every day as they walk in the door.” Another member of the staff replied, “I can’t imagine if she’d have known any of the teachers they lost. Can you imagine if one of your staff buddies came up to you that morning and said something like, ‘Hey, man, lunch? On me.” And then they’re gone two hours later. I can’t imagine that.”

I have been a student of over nine musical directors for orchestra, band, percussion, and elementary choir. In my family, there are six musical directors (two choir/theater, three instrumental, one general music). Because one of my parents is among those, I am also close friends with over thirty-six music and theatre directors within my home school district alone. In total, among family and friends are over seventy-five teachers, music or otherwise, across the country. At any moment during the school week, here is the list of things those teachers do, all for your students. YOUR. KIDS.

An average of 1-3 hours a night is spent on lesson planning; this entails making it possible for your students to take good notes (if necessary), making it so that your students are engaged, entertained, and excited about what they are learning, and figuring out if homework is necessary to keep on track with the curriculum they are given to teach. Depending on when in the concert season you’re looking, school band, orchestra and choir directors add an extra 5 hours a week choosing music for your students to play. This is based on the level at which your students play or sing (not just at an ensemble level, but at an individual level as well), the director’s ability to create a variety of cultural, literary, rhythmic and stylistic experiences for your student, and making sure that the students are entertained. Cocurricular teachers like theatre, PE, music and some STEM programs also have to make sure that they are within the budgets given to them by their school or by their program fundraising. Many of the teachers I know have to work with a variety of students on an individual basis due to special needs, attention problems, mental illness, IEP’s, ALP’s, etc. They also spend at least two lunches a week (which should be a time away from students for a little while) conducting detention with students who are irresponsible, not attentive to their work (in class or at home), or who have somehow disturbed the learning environment of another. Teachers are friends to students who don’t have any, parental figures to students who don’t have any, families to students who don’t have any, food providers to students who don’t have any. Their job is not to antagonize your child or make them feel worse about themselves or to make their lives hard. It is the child’s decision how they want their education to go.

First of all, I have already discussed how demoralized the debate has become over gun violence - politicians would prefer lots and lots of money to the guaranteed safety of their children and ours. We know this and it’s not going to change. In moments like those experienced in Florida last Wednesday, it is the teachers who will step in front of your students, YOUR KIDS and in all actuality take bullets for YOUR KIDS.

Even more demoralized, based on the facts listed above, is how we, as a society, treat teachers. Earlier this week, the twisting of words committed by middle school students turned into a fight between parent, administrator, and one of my parental units (who is a choir and theatre teacher at a local middle school) about a student being called an idiot by the teacher in his choir class. Every other student in that class has later reported that no such sentence or insult was uttered by the teacher, but the parents are still infuriated and refuse to believe that their child heard wrong. Even after all evidence suggests the teacher’s innocence, they are demanding a three-day suspension without pay for this teacher - a blemish on their permanent record - and have made physical threats in private. One of the threats made over the phone included the statement “If you ever say anything like that to my kid again, I will come to your house and fucking kill you.”

At this particular school, many other such threats have been made against a variety of other teachers, not all of them electives teachers. Though this may not occur everywhere, parents these days believe their child is entitled to more respect, more pampering, and more leeway in their education than the teacher deserves to live. (Do you see a trend? Politicians are to money over children’s safety as kids are to laziness over learning.)

Let me tell you a little something. I have worked very hard for my education because neither of my parents make a lot of money - if we were just on the educational parent’s wages, we would have so little money that we would have to choose between having food and having a house. Everything that I got, I fought for it tooth and nail. I do not have to fear for my life every time I speak with certain people. I am not afraid that someone has a gun or other weapon when I walk into a building. But every day, on my way home, I’m worried that the teacher in my family will not come home, or will come home jobless. I’m worried for the generation that can’t take a few hours of homework - the most homework I’ve ever come home with on a given day is approximately 2 hours, that’s on an IB curriculum, so I don’t want to hear about how much homework you have.

Get over it. Let your kids fight their own battles. If a teacher is genuinely and repeatedly singling out your kid, then make a peaceful confrontation. But don’t make teachers feel low for teaching your student. Don’t make teachers feel low for giving their lives for your student. They’re not paid nearly enough to do everything that they do for YOUR KID. Scott Beigel probably never even made enough money to pay off his college debt, much less support his family.

Taking your education for granted is the reason we do not seem to know the difference between what is right and what is easy. It’s the first thing you learn: “Well, I need this education, but I just don’t want to have to put in the work.” If you give in to the laziness, you’ll never do anything important or necessary ever again - like enact gun control laws that could save thousands of children’s lives, or show teachers the respect they deserve, or hell, even run a respectful presidential campaign. I have met kids in places like Haiti, Spain, the Dominican Republic, and even downtown where I work, who have never seen the inside of a classroom. They are made to feel so low that they believe everyone else is smarter and therefore more important than they are. Those kids would give anything to sit where your child sits in class every day, the very place that your kid would give anything to get rid of. Really?! If you think illegal immigrants or minorities are taking all our jobs, jobs that don’t belong to them, it’s because they’re not lazy pieces of shit like the kids you’re raising right now. They desperately want and need but do not get the things that you and your kids take for granted, and you don’t even realize that it’s just handed to you on a silver platter. If you are raising your kid to think that “Mexicans are stealing all our jobs,” then good for you. You and your families are perfectly entitled to your beliefs. However - if you think that is a serious problem, how about you take matters into your own hands? Here are some steps you can follow.

1. Make sure your child understands that education, though it is a civil right and a freedom that ought to be given to all people, because it is not so in all countries, is a privilege that they have to work for. They cannot take it for granted.

2. Help your child succeed. Don’t leave your child to fend for themselves constantly, but also don’t do everything for them. Let your child gain a sense of self-dependence and independence, let them feel like they did something cool, not something cool was just handed to them. It means that much more.

3. Then your child will grow up to beat out all the others in the job they want - even the Mexicans (if that really matters to you).

[samanthasroberts]

27 Of My Most Cringeworthy Moments From My Early Twenties I Will Recount Here For Your Entertainment

If you are my mother or my father or are in any way affiliated with them, please stop reading right here. Unless you’re Aunt Julie. Because you can hang, Jules.

1. I once locked myself into a bathroom with several cases of beer, because the cops showed up to a college party. I declared it my throne and proceeded to continue to drink cans of Coors Light for over an hour BY MYSELF until I decided it was safe to emerge.

2. After my 21st birthday party, I fell asleep on my staircase with my tights midway down my legs cradling my then baby dog and assuring her over and over, “You’re so beautiful.” I woke up to her chewing on my hair.

3. I played Peter Pan in college and had some sort of weird virus that resulted in 85% of my body being covered in hives. I was released from the ER after my school’s health center sent me there post thinking I was going into anaphylactic shock, but I had to do press and several photo shoots for the show. So now, there are photos of me (that yes, you can find) dressed as Peter Pan, flying around, while on several milligrams of Valium. Gives a whole new meaning to “flying high.” (sorry I had to.)

4. Once I got drunk in a field solely so I could hang out with a goat named Penelope. Here’s a picture:

5. My boyfriend for the latter half of my early twenties was around a year younger than me. So he couldn’t drink with me (in public anyway) at my 22nd and instead had to take care of me, bless his heart. On my 21st birthday a friend had challenged me to take a shot of SUPER cheap whiskey and I’d managed to do it. On my 22nd I tried to complete that same challenge and ended up puking into a cloth napkin, and sneakily throwing it away in the trash. My boyfriend promptly took me home after.

6. Another throw up story (let’s just stick with the theme) involved a pint glass. A party was being thrown at my ex’s house and naturally, I didn’t want to attend. One of my best guyfriend’s offered to accompany me to a bar near said ex’s place called “The Town And Country Lounge” which is a bar in a refurbished double wide. We sat there for approximately two to three hours, drinking cheap beer and shooting whiskey. The last shot of Jameson I did didn’t sit well, and I ended up methodically vomitting into the pint glass next to me, filling it straight to the brim. Surprisingly though, I didn’t spill.

7. At 25 I got so heated with a cab driver after a long night that he ended up calling the police on me. From my own phone. Saving that whole story for my eventual Lifetime movie. But it happened.

8. I went to a One Direction concert and a stranger who was drunk and talking animatedly with his hands clocked me straight in the face. I told him it was okay, I missed Zayn too. Again here’s a photo from said evening:

9. At 25 I sent presents to some dude who wrote for the same website as me, because I thought it meant we’d be friends. Now I’m pretty sure he just wanted to have phone sex (never did) because he was lonely as he stopped talking to me the SECOND there was a possibility of us hanging out IRL. Learn from my mistakes kids: don’t send flat-brims to people just because they’re sad. Save that money.

10. I left my number on more coasters and napkins for cute bartenders than I can even remember. It’s not really a cute move though, and I fully shake my head at myself now.

11. I sort of notoriously trolled a guy on Tinder and wrote about it. It made a lot of people really mad. I still stand by my original intent of writing the piece, which was/is that it’s kind of fucked up that we laugh when people threaten us or harass us or even just get rude, but I didn’t execute this well at all. Like honestly, I am linking to it and saying, “I think this ispoorlywritten and I am the one who wrote it.” BUT – I don’t believe in deleting work even when I don’t really relate to it anymore or even when it doesn’t garner the reaction I was hoping for. Instead I just shake my head when I get random messages about this piece (yes, even over a year later) and use it as a reminder to always do better.

12.After my first big breakup I decided to get out of a dodge for a bit and flew home to be with my parents and my childhood best friends. Only problem, I was flying out of my college town on my ex’s birthday. And apparently, his parents were also flying out on the same flight to go on vacation. I was in first class (not bougie – just the only ticket that was available) and they had to awkwardly stand beside me waiting to get to their seats. One of my absolute least favorite memories.

13. I impulsively got a tattoo with a sort of boyfriend one day on my ribs. I didn’t really WANT a rib tattoo but this dude told me it was “so sexy” so I caved. I also made the mistake of not going to a reputable artist, and frankly the tattoo looks like shit now. Eventually I’ll get it covered up but for now, the scratchy quote stays. Here’s another a picture so you can see visual representation of my mistakes!! Yay!

"curiosity often leads to trouble."

A photo posted by Kendra Syrdal (@kendrasyrdal) on Apr 6, 2013 at 4:58pm PDT

14. Once I went out on a date with a guy who actually, seriously quoted that fucking AWFUL book about picking up women called and I didn’t leave. Not only did I not leave, but I let him stay the night at my apartment (didn’t hook up with him because I maintained SOME level of self-respect) AND let him shower in the morning. He used my brand new, pretty spendy Sephora bubble bath as body wash, and opened brand new shampoo. He wanted to have a “discussion” after I told him I wasn’t interested in seeing him again. Yeah…I pick winners.

15.For my 20th birthday party I threw a joint birthday party with my friend Nicki that was “P” themed. This meant everyone who came to the party had to come dressed as something that started with the letter P. (Best costume was this dude Kyle who came as the preamble. It was gold.) The only other rule was that no one could come as a princess because that’s what Nicki and I were being. I dressed like this:

16.I was so in love with a boy that I bought him Decemberists tickets for literally no reason. Actually, come to think of it, a lot of the moments where I look at my younger self and go, “What the actual fuck were you thinking?!” have to do with spending money on boys who didn’t appreciate me. My therapist told me that I show affection through material goods because I have difficulty expressing emotions. Whatever, I’m working on it.

17.I have written so many prose pieces about guys who I knew were pulling away from me in a sad, pathetic attempt to try and make them see that I was worth their time and attention. Spoiler alert: If a guy doesn’t even read your stuff to begin with, this will literally never work.

18. At 23 I went to Las Vegas for my best friend’s 21st birthday and the two of us go so lit up before going to the wax museum that we found a karaoke machine (it’s next to the was figure of Simon Cowell) and started serenading the entire museum with renditions of Celine Dion hits like “Taking Chances” and “The Power of Love.” We attempted to shake his hand after. We cleared the room of 70+ people. What I’m saying is, it was embarrassing.

19. I was really bad about remembering to renew my tags for my car in college and was pulled over for said offense one summer, and still didn’t renew my tags. 7 months (yes I know, I was/am the worst) later I was pulled over AGAIN for the same thing. Apparently there was a warrant out for my arrest and the officer decided midnight was the appropriate time to lecture me about this. Catch? I had just finished a performance ofwhich, if you’re not familiar, is set in Japan. So I was in FULL kabuki makeup while this policeman decided to lecture me about my fuck up. I was sobbing, Ben Nye makeup was smearing everywhere, he felt pretty bad. It was overall just a mess. But I didn’t go to jail. Thanks, Missoula Cop who didn’t take me in while I was still rocking the geisha makeup. I really appreciate it.

20.Iwas feeling vulnerable and sad one Halloween and decided the cure to this was hooking up with my friend’s much younger, VERY hot, trying to be a stripper friend. It was fine, it was whatever. But we hooked up on the floor of an apartment which was basically concrete. I ended up slipping a disc, bruising my tailbone, and having to spend the next 3 months getting chiropractic work to make my back okay again.He was hot, but not hot enough to justify that amount of back pain. #srynotsry

21.I got violently ill once from antibiotics and promptly shit in my leggings after trusting the fart. There is more to the story but again, saving it for my future bestseller.

22. I thought this was a good look. And also did this in public.

23.In college I played Columbia in the live musical version of where, for the midnight shows only, we were topless. I debated about it, but it was a paid gig and I felt fine about it so I decided sure, why not. My boyfriend at the time was NOT okay with it. I later found out he adamantly REFUSED to let his friends come to the show, even going so far as to pay them back for the tickets they had already purchased. I didn’t find this out for years and it still makes me super embarrassed for his behavior.

24.A guy broke up with me when I was 25 because I didn’t make enough eye contact. That was his honest to god reason. (Still bitter.)

25.I went on a mini vacation with some friends to Austin, Texas for my 26th birthday and decided to really just GO for it when I was there. This meant doing one of the ultimate “why not” moments: the Tinder one night stand. Only problem? We didn’t know our way around Texas and I didn’t bring any condoms. So my solution was to have Postmates deliver them. I didn’t even try to play it off and ordered like, chips and gum to make it better. I straight up just ordered a box of 16 Trojan’s to the AirBnb. The delivery man was loling, my “date” was loling, my friends were loling. It was lols all around. 10/10 recommend.

26. A friend of mine came to Seattle for an audition and I took her out one night to blow off some steam/show her the city. We ended up drinking all night with a professional indoor soccer team from Vegas, and I definitely got naked in a photobooth with a bunch of them. Somehow though, I still didn’t get laid. Only I could be one of two girls surrounded by a bunch of guys who were hot, professional athletes, show them all of my tattoos that required me taking my clothes off, and end up going home to eat queso in bed.

27.I lived. I made memories. Or I had those memories told back to me because I didn’t really…well… them. And even though sometimes that makes me all “god dammit smdh” I honestly think it’s pretty dope that I have all of these stories – cringeworthy or what have you.

Plus I once peed on my neighbor’s lawn furniture because she was threatening to call the cops on my Harry Potter themed party. And you can’t pay money for those kinds of stories.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/08/30/27-of-my-most-cringeworthy-moments-from-my-early-twenties-i-will-recount-here-for-your-entertainment/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/08/30/27-of-my-most-cringeworthy-moments-from-my-early-twenties-i-will-recount-here-for-your-entertainment/

[adambstingus]

27 Of My Most Cringeworthy Moments From My Early Twenties I Will Recount Here For Your Entertainment

If you are my mother or my father or are in any way affiliated with them, please stop reading right here. Unless you’re Aunt Julie. Because you can hang, Jules.

1. I once locked myself into a bathroom with several cases of beer, because the cops showed up to a college party. I declared it my throne and proceeded to continue to drink cans of Coors Light for over an hour BY MYSELF until I decided it was safe to emerge.

2. After my 21st birthday party, I fell asleep on my staircase with my tights midway down my legs cradling my then baby dog and assuring her over and over, “You’re so beautiful.” I woke up to her chewing on my hair.

3. I played Peter Pan in college and had some sort of weird virus that resulted in 85% of my body being covered in hives. I was released from the ER after my school’s health center sent me there post thinking I was going into anaphylactic shock, but I had to do press and several photo shoots for the show. So now, there are photos of me (that yes, you can find) dressed as Peter Pan, flying around, while on several milligrams of Valium. Gives a whole new meaning to “flying high.” (sorry I had to.)

4. Once I got drunk in a field solely so I could hang out with a goat named Penelope. Here’s a picture:

5. My boyfriend for the latter half of my early twenties was around a year younger than me. So he couldn’t drink with me (in public anyway) at my 22nd and instead had to take care of me, bless his heart. On my 21st birthday a friend had challenged me to take a shot of SUPER cheap whiskey and I’d managed to do it. On my 22nd I tried to complete that same challenge and ended up puking into a cloth napkin, and sneakily throwing it away in the trash. My boyfriend promptly took me home after.

6. Another throw up story (let’s just stick with the theme) involved a pint glass. A party was being thrown at my ex’s house and naturally, I didn’t want to attend. One of my best guyfriend’s offered to accompany me to a bar near said ex’s place called “The Town And Country Lounge” which is a bar in a refurbished double wide. We sat there for approximately two to three hours, drinking cheap beer and shooting whiskey. The last shot of Jameson I did didn’t sit well, and I ended up methodically vomitting into the pint glass next to me, filling it straight to the brim. Surprisingly though, I didn’t spill.

7. At 25 I got so heated with a cab driver after a long night that he ended up calling the police on me. From my own phone. Saving that whole story for my eventual Lifetime movie. But it happened.

8. I went to a One Direction concert and a stranger who was drunk and talking animatedly with his hands clocked me straight in the face. I told him it was okay, I missed Zayn too. Again here’s a photo from said evening:

9. At 25 I sent presents to some dude who wrote for the same website as me, because I thought it meant we’d be friends. Now I’m pretty sure he just wanted to have phone sex (never did) because he was lonely as he stopped talking to me the SECOND there was a possibility of us hanging out IRL. Learn from my mistakes kids: don’t send flat-brims to people just because they’re sad. Save that money.

10. I left my number on more coasters and napkins for cute bartenders than I can even remember. It’s not really a cute move though, and I fully shake my head at myself now.

11. I sort of notoriously trolled a guy on Tinder and wrote about it. It made a lot of people really mad. I still stand by my original intent of writing the piece, which was/is that it’s kind of fucked up that we laugh when people threaten us or harass us or even just get rude, but I didn’t execute this well at all. Like honestly, I am linking to it and saying, “I think this ispoorlywritten and I am the one who wrote it.” BUT – I don’t believe in deleting work even when I don’t really relate to it anymore or even when it doesn’t garner the reaction I was hoping for. Instead I just shake my head when I get random messages about this piece (yes, even over a year later) and use it as a reminder to always do better.

12.After my first big breakup I decided to get out of a dodge for a bit and flew home to be with my parents and my childhood best friends. Only problem, I was flying out of my college town on my ex’s birthday. And apparently, his parents were also flying out on the same flight to go on vacation. I was in first class (not bougie – just the only ticket that was available) and they had to awkwardly stand beside me waiting to get to their seats. One of my absolute least favorite memories.

13. I impulsively got a tattoo with a sort of boyfriend one day on my ribs. I didn’t really WANT a rib tattoo but this dude told me it was “so sexy” so I caved. I also made the mistake of not going to a reputable artist, and frankly the tattoo looks like shit now. Eventually I’ll get it covered up but for now, the scratchy quote stays. Here’s another a picture so you can see visual representation of my mistakes!! Yay!

“curiosity often leads to trouble.”

A photo posted by Kendra Syrdal (@kendrasyrdal) on Apr 6, 2013 at 4:58pm PDT

14. Once I went out on a date with a guy who actually, seriously quoted that fucking AWFUL book about picking up women called and I didn’t leave. Not only did I not leave, but I let him stay the night at my apartment (didn’t hook up with him because I maintained SOME level of self-respect) AND let him shower in the morning. He used my brand new, pretty spendy Sephora bubble bath as body wash, and opened brand new shampoo. He wanted to have a “discussion” after I told him I wasn’t interested in seeing him again. Yeah…I pick winners.

15.For my 20th birthday party I threw a joint birthday party with my friend Nicki that was “P” themed. This meant everyone who came to the party had to come dressed as something that started with the letter P. (Best costume was this dude Kyle who came as the preamble. It was gold.) The only other rule was that no one could come as a princess because that’s what Nicki and I were being. I dressed like this:

16.I was so in love with a boy that I bought him Decemberists tickets for literally no reason. Actually, come to think of it, a lot of the moments where I look at my younger self and go, “What the actual fuck were you thinking?!” have to do with spending money on boys who didn’t appreciate me. My therapist told me that I show affection through material goods because I have difficulty expressing emotions. Whatever, I’m working on it.

17.I have written so many prose pieces about guys who I knew were pulling away from me in a sad, pathetic attempt to try and make them see that I was worth their time and attention. Spoiler alert: If a guy doesn’t even read your stuff to begin with, this will literally never work.

18. At 23 I went to Las Vegas for my best friend’s 21st birthday and the two of us go so lit up before going to the wax museum that we found a karaoke machine (it’s next to the was figure of Simon Cowell) and started serenading the entire museum with renditions of Celine Dion hits like “Taking Chances” and “The Power of Love.” We attempted to shake his hand after. We cleared the room of 70+ people. What I’m saying is, it was embarrassing.

19. I was really bad about remembering to renew my tags for my car in college and was pulled over for said offense one summer, and still didn’t renew my tags. 7 months (yes I know, I was/am the worst) later I was pulled over AGAIN for the same thing. Apparently there was a warrant out for my arrest and the officer decided midnight was the appropriate time to lecture me about this. Catch? I had just finished a performance ofwhich, if you’re not familiar, is set in Japan. So I was in FULL kabuki makeup while this policeman decided to lecture me about my fuck up. I was sobbing, Ben Nye makeup was smearing everywhere, he felt pretty bad. It was overall just a mess. But I didn’t go to jail. Thanks, Missoula Cop who didn’t take me in while I was still rocking the geisha makeup. I really appreciate it.

20.Iwas feeling vulnerable and sad one Halloween and decided the cure to this was hooking up with my friend’s much younger, VERY hot, trying to be a stripper friend. It was fine, it was whatever. But we hooked up on the floor of an apartment which was basically concrete. I ended up slipping a disc, bruising my tailbone, and having to spend the next 3 months getting chiropractic work to make my back okay again.He was hot, but not hot enough to justify that amount of back pain. #srynotsry

21.I got violently ill once from antibiotics and promptly shit in my leggings after trusting the fart. There is more to the story but again, saving it for my future bestseller.

22. I thought this was a good look. And also did this in public.

23.In college I played Columbia in the live musical version of where, for the midnight shows only, we were topless. I debated about it, but it was a paid gig and I felt fine about it so I decided sure, why not. My boyfriend at the time was NOT okay with it. I later found out he adamantly REFUSED to let his friends come to the show, even going so far as to pay them back for the tickets they had already purchased. I didn’t find this out for years and it still makes me super embarrassed for his behavior.

24.A guy broke up with me when I was 25 because I didn’t make enough eye contact. That was his honest to god reason. (Still bitter.)

25.I went on a mini vacation with some friends to Austin, Texas for my 26th birthday and decided to really just GO for it when I was there. This meant doing one of the ultimate “why not” moments: the Tinder one night stand. Only problem? We didn’t know our way around Texas and I didn’t bring any condoms. So my solution was to have Postmates deliver them. I didn’t even try to play it off and ordered like, chips and gum to make it better. I straight up just ordered a box of 16 Trojan’s to the AirBnb. The delivery man was loling, my “date” was loling, my friends were loling. It was lols all around. 10/10 recommend.

26. A friend of mine came to Seattle for an audition and I took her out one night to blow off some steam/show her the city. We ended up drinking all night with a professional indoor soccer team from Vegas, and I definitely got naked in a photobooth with a bunch of them. Somehow though, I still didn’t get laid. Only I could be one of two girls surrounded by a bunch of guys who were hot, professional athletes, show them all of my tattoos that required me taking my clothes off, and end up going home to eat queso in bed.

27.I lived. I made memories. Or I had those memories told back to me because I didn’t really…well… them. And even though sometimes that makes me all “god dammit smdh” I honestly think it’s pretty dope that I have all of these stories – cringeworthy or what have you.

Plus I once peed on my neighbor’s lawn furniture because she was threatening to call the cops on my Harry Potter themed party. And you can’t pay money for those kinds of stories.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/08/30/27-of-my-most-cringeworthy-moments-from-my-early-twenties-i-will-recount-here-for-your-entertainment/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/164769835047