#which seemed both obvious and impossible but i was rly not having a good time so i kind of took it as like

[lov3nerdstuff]

How long is forever?

*Tom Hiddleston x reader*

Parts: Oneshot

Words: 4.2k

Genre: flufffff

Imagine: You catch Tom's interest at Comic Con

Request: by @my-mind-was-lostintranslation I rly hope this is something you will enjoy 💗 I just never end up writing requests the obvious way 😂

______________________________

You had been reluctant about agreeing to come along. Reluctant about the entire idea of going to Comic Con, about buying tickets for way too much money, about your somewhat-friends wanting to randomly crash with some people they would surely meet instead of getting an overpriced hotel, about your one friend making you wear this skimpy green Loki dress because she thought it would go along nicely with your tattoos and skin color. And still, some demon had planted the seed of hope in your brain and thus you found yourself coming along, hoping to meet the only person at this convention you actually found any interest in. Tom Hiddleston.

You were dressed as one of his characters after all, even if not entirely by choice. Sure, you had seen his movies and shows and enjoyed his acting quite the deal, but what truly fascinated you about him was his own person. His character and opinions, smart thoughts and deep questions. He just seemed like a person you would love to get to know, for surely he was more interesting than any of your other acquaintances (maybe even than the friends you were here with… it was more of a community of purpose than a real friendship after all). And listening to Tom's panel was probably the closest you would get to spending time with a kindred mind.

Unfortunately your friends were more the anime and manga kind of people, definitely more than you were at least, and thus you found yourself going to Tom's panel alone. You weren't one of those girls who would sell their soul to sit in the front, or to ask questions… no, you were content sitting in the middle of the room and just letting life happen around you.

As an artist yourself, you had originally been fairly interested in the artwork you would get to see here, but all too soon you had been severely disappointed by the few artists who had even bothered to come to a rather small con like this at all. That someone like Tom was present for the day bordered on a miracle, really, considering the size of the convention. Maybe he had been in the region for shooting whatever film he was currently working on?

As you sat in the middle of the audience room, waiting for the panel to start, you found yourself mesmerized by the lightning situation on stage. It hit the objects in such a way that they just begged you to be turned into art… and you didn't have anything else to do anyway. So, thinking that you maybe just should've gone to the museum instead of this convention, you dug a black pen out of your bag, along with a small blank paper notebook and started sketching with a content sigh.

Once the panel started, having someone else talk first before Tom would come on, you went on to also sketch the portrait of the panel's host and the first guest, for listening was just easier while drawing. And when finally the time had come, and Tom was greeted on stage with thundering applause, you found yourself smiling to yourself as you flipped the page of your notebook to start on a portrait finally worth drawing.

_______________

Tom was tired. Very tired indeed, as he had been urged to come to the convention impossibly early despite having spent most of the night traveling and doing interviews. And now he was to go out onto the stage and smile and chat with people while pretending not to fall asleep any minute. It had been easy enough to smile and say hi and bye in a sinus curve of repetition while signing pretty much whatever people had brought, but now he actually was supposed to talk some sense, and avoid spoilers, and preferably also do some subtle and appealing PR for his newest movie. However all he really wanted to do was to have a nice cup of tea and get some sleep. But this was work, and this wasn't even half as bad as his tired brain made it out to be. He liked talking to people, to fans and interviewers and host, after all and this surely would be fun.

So he really only had to fake a smile for the first three seconds as he walked onto stage, for he had to smile for real from then on. It was a smaller convention, but the room was packed nonetheless. He enjoyed the fact that he could actually see the audience for once, and not only a black pit of murmurs and occasional flashing lights. It made the whole thing way more pleasant, and as he shook hands with everyone and sat down, he actually felt comfortable and ready to have a nice chat.

He answered some questions about the movie he was working on, had a couple laughs with the host, and then some time to let his eyes wander through the audience while the other guest was being interviewed. It wasn't a habit, really, but he liked to count the number of character he recognized from people's costumes. It was a good way to check if his pop culture knowledge was severely lacking or only minorly lacking currently.

His eyes flew over the audience members quickly but intently, and he found himself smiling in excitement a couple times whenever he spotted someone dressed as Loki. But otherwise, the crowd wasn't unusual in any way, to his eyes… Until they fell upon a young woman in a green sleeveless dress, scribbling something into a journal. Her eyes moved from the stage to the book, back and forth, again and again, as her hand moved quicker than Tom could begin to follow. She had drawings, tattoos, on her shoulders and arms, but Tom couldn't really tell what they depicted nor if they were real or part of the costume. But he could tell that, as his eyes moved on over the audience, they were drawn back to her within seconds, again and again. He tried ignoring her, scanning the rest of the audience part by part, but it was of no use… his eyes would always revert back to the girl.

She was still drawing, or writing maybe… Tom couldn't tell. But the tiredness in his brain was washed away more and more the longer he watched her, inspecting both her actions and her appearance.

The dress probably was supposed to be a costume of some kind, but not a particularly good or detailed one… more of a jersey dress than a costume created with effort. Nothing that would cause his mind to cling onto her so much.

Suddenly every thought was stilled in the depth of his mind, as her eyes moved back to the stage and found his own. It had been merely accidental on both ends, he could tell by her surprised look, but now that their eyes had locked, Tom found himself unable to tear his gaze away. So did she, and they remained entirely focused on each other in complete stillness.

"Tom? You still with us, buddy?" The host's amused voice came crashing into Tom's muted mind and he almost jumped a little as his eyes left hers to look at his fellows on the stage. Gosh, he had completely forgotten that he was still very much on public display… no sleep wasn't too kind on his brain.

"I'm so sorry." Tom replied with an apologetic, breathless laugh. "What did you say again?"

For the next fifteen minutes, Tom answered the fans' questions. Ever so often, his eyes would flick back to the girl in the green dress for a mere second before coming back to the person he was actually speaking to. It wasn't very polite, he knew that, but he just couldn't stop himself, couldn't stop his mind from returning to her whenever chance allowed him. Unfortunately he didn't meet her eyes again, and the intriguing, time stopping experience from before remained a singularity.

Why couldn't she be asking him a question? Tom would've loved to speak to her, for whatever reason. Maybe just to hear her voice. Maybe to find out why he couldn't stop looking at her, wondering about her…

The questions that were asked, as usual, ranged from the boring things people could just have googled to the slightly more interesting things such as his favorite book quotes. But yet again, there was nothing all too interesting, nothing Tom really had to focus on too much. It was rare that people asked him things he actually needed to think about, but maybe that was due to the brief nature of the convention. Question, answer, next. In under a minute. Yes, maybe it was Tom himself who was too demanding in the things that would interest him. Still, he was grateful for everyone who bothered to come to his panel and to ask him a question, no matter how boring the question itself was. Just seeing the joy in people's faces when he answered them would be enough on most days to make him happy indeed.

But today, it wasn't enough. He found that while it did fill him with joy to see people being happy about his answers, he couldn't quite be content as long as he still hadn't spoken to the girl. At least hear her ask a question… since real conversation was so rare at con.

"I'm afraid we're running out of time." The host declared sadly, drawing Tom out of his thoughts. "That was the last question."

A loud round of disappointed 'ooh's from the audience made Tom smile ever so slightly, until his eyes met the girl's once more, causing his features to relax into neutral curiosity.

"Any last words, Tom?" The host asked dramatically, laughing at his own exaggeration.

"Actually…" Tom started, thinking that at least this once he would actually make use of him being a celebrity and thus having the ability to do a great deal of things that weren't planned and that would thereby cause chaos for other people. But he couldn't help it. "Actually, I would like to ask a question too."

"A question? To… to someone in the audience?" The host rose his eyebrows and Tom nodded, upon which the former continued. "Uhm, well, go ahead then. A question from Tom Hiddleston, everybody!"

People clapped and cheered for a moment and Tom turned in his chair to face the audience, to face the girl he was so keen on getting to know. Her eyes were back on the journal, jumping back back forth between the item in her lap and Tom on the stage.

"My question…" Tom started, heart picking up speed rapidly. What was he doing here…? Causing Luke problems, most likely. "My question is for the girl in the green dress who has been scribbling in her notebook for the entire duration of this panel. Twelfth row from the back, right in the middle."

The spotlight that had previously been fixed on the audience microphone moved over the crowd, until it halted right on the mysterious girl Tom meant to talk to. She looked up from her notebook immediately, looking around herself in mild panic first and then staring right back at Tom like a deer in the headlights.

Tom's stomach dropped, twisting in nervousness… he hadn't meant to make her uncomfortable, hadn't thought about putting her on display like that. Gosh, he really should've put more thought into this, he usually put way too much thought into everything… but now he had to follow through with it either way. What did he want to ask again…? Her eyes fixed on his had his heart skipping multiple beats and his mind fall silent for a moment… until he remembered that everyone was staring at him expectantly. He still hadn't come up with a question.

"Alright, my question for you is…" He paused very briefly, wondering how he could find out who she was with only one single question. But then again… maybe he only had to find out if getting to know her would be worth the trouble. "How long is forever?"

_______________

Murmuring erupted in the audience room around you, and your heart beat so fast that it almost jumped out of your ribcage. Was this really happening? Everyone was looking at you… some people were even filming the whole thing. And everyone was waiting for your answer. Great… How long was forever indeed? Right now, every moment that passed with Tom looking at you felt like an own eternity. That's when it clicked in your mind.

"Sometimes, just one second." You replied loud enough to be heard all the way to the front, actually pushing yourself to get over your nervousness. Easier said than done… you felt like fainting. Luckily you were sitting already, otherwise your knees just might have given in. And when Tom started smiling at you widely a second later, your insides turned into a mushy goo of nerves and excitement and tingles.

"Thank you." He said with the most adorable expression, and you bit your bottom lip to keep from grinning. Surely, you had noticed how he'd looked at you a couple times throughout the panel, but you had thought you'd imagined it. That he had looked at everyone that way.

But when your eyes had met, it had sent a bolt of liquid lightning through your veins, flooding your body with a new kind of excitement. Then he had gone on to say he meant to ask one single question to someone in the audience, and you had been sure it wouldn't be to you. Obviously you'd been wrong about that.

Almost in a haze, you observed how the host thanked Tom and the other guest for coming, before ushering both out of sight. The lights on stage went out, the ones in the audience room brightened, and people around you started to leave as if your heart hadn't just almost exploded.

Well, that certainly had been something. Didn't happen to you every day that people wanted to quote Alice in Wonderland with you, and even less that someone actually talked to you willingly, and still even less that this someone was a person you actually wanted to talk to as well. And yet even less that the person happened to be Tom Hiddleston. You closed your eyes for a moment to calm down.

Now that the adrenaline was slowly letting you breathe normally again, you flipped your notebook shut and stuffed it into your bag together with the pen, wondering why exactly he had asked YOU, out of all people, THIS question, out of all the things he could've asked. Your friends would never believe this.

Once you felt like you could actually walk again, you rose to your feet and made your way to the exit, only to be stopped by a hand on your shoulder.

With a frown you turned around, believing you might have lost something maybe, only to find a man in a suit standing in front of you. Your frown deepened.

"Excuse me, but you're the girl Tom asked that odd question, right?" He asked politely, withdrawing his hand from your shoulder the second you turned around.

"It wasn't an odd question, it was Alice's question to the white rabbit. But yeah, that was me." You replied before you could stop yourself from being a smartass, looking at the man curiously. He wore one of those badges that gave him access to the VIP and backstage areas… obviously he belonged to the staff. The suit alone was a poor indicator of that, after all… someone in a suit at Comic Con could also just be a man in black, or whatever incarnation of the doctor or anything really. His suit looked too expensive to be a costume though.

"Would you mind coming to the VIP area with me? Tom, that nut, begged me to do whatever it takes to get you over there and I really don't want to have him running around out here himself. Who knows what mischief he may cause..." The man sighed with a small smile and you felt your cheeks heating up. Tom wanted to talk to you. For real. What?!

"Uhm… Of course, I mean… sure?" You replied insecurely, and the man in the suit sighed in relief before walking ahead and motioning for you to follow. Three minutes later you had passed on into a different hall and ventured past a couple security guards, finally coming to an area that was completely closed off to the public. You felt only minorly nervous now, and mostly curious. Without a thousand people staring at you, it was way easier to think.

The man in the suit led you towards a group of people standing in a loose circle, talking and laughing. You actually recognized most of them from movies or TV shows as you quickly went over their faces, looking around until your eyes fell upon Tom. As he saw you approaching, his eyes lit up and he smiled in your direction.

"You owe me." The man in the suit said to Tom as you came to stand in front of him at last. "Don't do anything stupid."

"I would never!" Tom replied to him with a grin, upon which he rolled his eyes.

"I'm keeping an eye on you, Hiddleston." The man grinned back as he turned to leave again.

"That's what I'm paying you for!" Tom called after him, laughing and shaking his head to himself before finally looking at you with a small smile. "Hi."

"Hey." You replied, unable to keep from smiling yourself. "Did I answer correctly?"

"Oh, you did for sure. Don't worry."

"Good." You chuckled, looking to your feet for a second and then back at the man in front of you. Gosh, he really was too handsome for his own good.

"Am I making you nervous?" He asked reluctantly, giving you an almost concerned look.

"I'm not starstruck, if that's what you mean." You replied easily, actually not feeling nervous at all for once. "I'm just wondering why I'm here."

"Because I'm curious about you." Tom smiled, and you could swear that he was blushing a little bit. It looked rather adorable and your heart skipped a beat. "What's your name?"

"I'm Y/n." You replied lightly, taking in all the small details about him that you hadn't been able to see from the distance before.

"Y/n… that's a lovely name. I'm Tom."

"Yeah, I know." You laughed, biting your lip to keep from grinning too widely. Whether he was trying to make you relaxing by humor or if he really was just a dork, you found yourself to be comfortable with him.

"Of course you do…" He laughed too, looking down to the ground and shaking his head to himself. Oh, he was definitely blushing now, and it was freaking adorable.

"You observed me during the panel, didn't you?" You asked calmly, trying to ease his embarrassment a bit by changing the topic.

"I did indeed." He gave you an apologetic smile as he motioned for you to take a seat on the couch, before sitting down across from you. "I just couldn't help it."

"And here I was, thinking I'm making things up." You chuckled.

"What were you scribbling in that notebook the entire time? If you don't mind me asking..." He inquired curiously, eyes searching and finding yours. Somehow they held the power to stop time for you and leave you feeling completely mesmerized. Tom seemed to experience a similar thing, for he only kept looking at you while you looked back at him for a second bearing your own forever. Until someone dropped something on the concrete floor very loudly, making both of you jump.

"I… I was just sketching some random objects, some people…" You finally replied as you found your words again. "Nothing special."

"So you're an artist? Here at the convention?"

"Yes, and no. I am an artist, but not in a million years famous enough to be invited to con." You laughed, taking in the sincere interest in Tom's expression. It'd been such a long time since anybody had looked at you like that...

"May I take a look at today's work?" He asked with so much hope that there was no way you could've said no to him. Whatever it was he would ask of you.

So you handed him your journal, and he flipped the pages open at your bookmark. That would be the portrait you sketched of him.

"Wow, this is amazing…" He remarked, frowning as he focused entirely on the drawing for a moment. "You did this in, what, fifteen minutes?"

"Yup." You shrugged, feeling your cheeks heat up yet again. "I mean, you're too tempting not to draw."

Tom's eyes shot up from the page to meet yours as he pulled up one eyebrow and grinned at you, while you only now registered what you had said, closing your eyes and biting your lip in embarrassment.

"I just meant that with you as a sitter, every portrait would look good." You tried to make it sound right, only to find Tom still grinning at you in amusement.

"Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter. The sitter is merely the accident, the occasion. It is not he who is revealed by the painter; it is rather the painter who, on the coloured canvas, reveals himself." Tom spoke softly, and your skin tingled pleasantly at the warm depth of his voice.

"Oscar Wilde, nice." You smirked at him, causing his eyes to light up yet again.

"You enjoy literature?"

"Probably just as much as art."

"Literature is art though, wouldn't you say?"

"It is indeed." You replied softly, smiling. "Maybe that's why I enjoy it so much."

For the next hour, or maybe rather hours –who could tell how much time passed when so lost in each other's captivating presence?– you and Tom stayed sitting on that couch, ignoring everything and everyone outside of your conversation. Talking to him was so much more than you had ever imagined, so utterly intriguing and captivating… You had completely fallen for him before you knew.

"Y/n…" Tom started, velvety voice wrapping around your senses like liquid sin. "I…"

He was interrupted by an assistant stepping up to the couch hastily, letting Tom know that he needed to get to his signing table ASAP, being twenty minutes late already. Your heart fell upon those words, more than you would've assumed, as it meant that you would have to leave too. That the little time you had with Tom had come to an end. But you wouldn't be so foolish as to assume that any of this would lead to anything more than a nice memory.

With a sad smile you couldn't really brighten up, you rose to your feet, urging Tom to do the same.

"It was truly lovely meeting you, Tom. A dream." You said gently as you stood right in front of him, the assistant having left to be of use elsewhere.

"It is your dream. You decide where it goes from here." He replied in the same soft quiet, looking down at you in both affection and reluctance. "I'm afraid I find it rather impossible to part from you. What are we to do about that?"

"You will go your way and I will go mine… And by tonight you won't remember my name, my face or my words anyway. I'm one in a million, a passing star in an entire universe of equals." You smiled at him with a heavy heart, meaning your words to be encouraging rather than saddening. "While you, Tom, you contain multitudes all by yourself."

"I'm your equal, Y/n…" He protested lightly, frowning with an almost shy smile. "I want to be."

"You do?" Your eyes widened as gentle a shiver ran down your spine.

"Of course." His smile widened for a moment, and his eyes flicked down to the small gap between you very briefly before he looked back to your eyes and let his fingers brush gently against yours. The minimal touch left your skin ablaze in an instant, scorching liquid heat running wildly through your veins. Your breath hitched, and his smile widened even more. "I have to go to my signing now, or Luke will have my head. But I'm refusing to let you go, and I would be the luckiest man in all those multitudes if you would wait for me here. I'm gonna be all yours once I return."

With your stomach in pleasant coils, and your heart in his hands already, you didn't even need to think before nodding with the happiest smile. "I will be here. How long does the signing take?"

"Sometimes, just a second, my dear." He grinned at you, giving your hand a light squeeze before jogging off to where the man in the suit was waiting for him with a roll of his eyes and a smirk. And as you watched Tom leaving, winking at you once more before he was out of sight, you already couldn't wait for his return.

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[lemongogo]

hey im the anon abt gyutaro/ume and i dont remember what happens to demons after they die ?? did i miss smth ? regardless i wanna ask what do you think their fate should be ? cause on one hand i think they're just victims of a cruel world who took the first way out they could find but on the other hand it doesnt rlly justify all the slaughter, and i also think abt the demon slayers who also suffered horrible fates and used it to fuel their determination to save other people from that pain

hi !! i don’t think kny ever explicitly mentions what happens to demons after they die (as in we never have concrete evidence of where they go or how their lives after are spent), but i think the general consensus is that the demons go to hell. 

in some cases, the family can decide to go with them (ex: rui and i think akaza? if i remember correctly?) but their fate is pretty much sealed from that point forward i believe. 

heres a pic of gyuutarou and ume, actually, in chapter 97 !!

but yeah !! thats something i think about a lot tbh. as you mentioned, many of the demons we’ve seen have either been groomed into demonhood (rui, ume, susamaru, etc.) or had their pain and suffering exploited (akaza, gyuutarou) for the sake of advancing other demons’ plans (muzan, douma, etc). so i agree ! a lot of these characters are unfortunate victims in themselves and its impossible to view their stories without incorporating the struggles they’ve had to face as both humans AND demons. especially considering that lots of these individuals experience muzan’s abuse regardless of their status relative to him (such as with the upper and lower moons). i think this is best explained through akaza’s relationship with muzan,

(ch. 67)

(ch.156)

and further explored though tanjiro’s observation of rui’s death. he notes that being a demon, for most, is an existence punctuated by extreme grief and despair, and that’s equally supported, i think, by the humanization of these demons following death. that their original conscious is restored (albeit with knowledge of everything they’ve done) and are oftentimes plagued by the guilt of what’s happened.

(ch.43)

what he says here is probably what sums it up for me. that while it’s important to condemn these demons and hold them accountable for the truly awful things they’ve done, it’s also important to consider the suffering they've experienced through existence alone. its so !! complex !! and thats what i love about kny. i love how .. you have some demons who are entirely despicable and bask in the carnage they create, but you also have some for whom demonhood was simply what appeared to be the only answer towards living a healthier life or righting the wrongs that’ve been done to them (usually with false promises and manipulation unbeknownst to them). and .. its so hard to figure out where to.. draw that line. or view these characters at least. because you sympathize with their pain, but you also realize that their actions have caused endless pain for many hundreds of people. tanjiro losing his entire family, giyuu losing his. shinobu watching her sister die before her very eyes, and kanao the same. the ubuyashiki family’s curse or the slaughter of himejima’s children. you look at characters like sanemi, shinobu, or giyuu and understand that you cannot invalidate their view of demons either. while kanae and tanjiro may find hope and humanity in demons, they exist as monsters who feast on pain to everyone else. its important not to discredit their perspective when making a personal choice to observe the demons’ hardships yknow. shinobu’s anger is just as warranted as tanjiro’s optimism and that neither are wrong for how they personally feel demons should be handled after death. 

im like. AAAAAAAA theres so much to it , its really hard for me to condense into a few sentences AHAHA im so sry for making u read this if u still are. but . i guess i’m not too sure. i think maybe, had i experienced the same pain as those above, it would be easy for me to say the demons deserve to go to the worst hell imaginable regardless of what they’ve gone through because that history isn’t accessible to everyone like it has been the audience (or that they’ve seemingly made the conscious decision to cause harm w/o understanding the ways in which demonhood obscures their original conscious/morality). but at the same time, you have those like tanjiro whose world view is shaped by positive encounters with demons like nezuko, tamayo, yushirou, etc. where it seems very evident that . theres more to it than what meets the eye. 

one of my friends ive talked to about this had a rly good perspective on it thats kinda stuck with me since !! she said she likes to view their conclusion as some . separation of identity?? if that makes sense?? that the demon side of them goes to hell while their human form goes to heaven (or division into whichever afterlife). and !! i think thats a really neat interpretation because there’s obvious descrepancy between demon personas and human personas. that the demon personas are like. exaggerations of their flaws, almost (akaza becoming hellbent on battle spirits and physical victories when hajuki’s fury & determination was fueled by love in a sense) while their human personas are the truest sense of self. and depending on which influence there is (muzan vs the appearance of loved ones), their identity changes accordingly. so ! idk ! thats one nice way of looking at it. holding their demon personas accountable while also recognizing that many of these characters deserve some form of healing after many hundreds of years of abuse. its hard because ofc i don’t want to negate the harms they’ve caused but its also? not cut and dry given the environment they were placed in and the fact that muzan’s blood essentially removes their humanity against their will you know. so in this way at least you have both forms of self receiving the proper conclusion. 

whwhwhw so im. !!!!!!!!!!!! ah !! i can’t say i have a definite answer but i think the one above is smth thats comforting to me. i think the story settles with sending them to hell once they’ve regained their past self but also .. “softens” it by providing them company by their loved ones who are willing to go w them?? so thats rly cool to look at too. because it holds them accountable for all that’s happened but also.. recognizes that they’re not wholly responsible for it either and that .. even in hell they’re able to keep their connections and human emotions/experiences . its tragic yet oddly. fitting, i think, of the kny narrative. while i like the aforementioned interpretation, i also really.. appreciate the way its set up in canon too. like yeah i want the best for them but also. it fits in with the tragic nature of demonhood and what it meant for them all. oddly enough. 

u make a good point too !! about demon slayers experiencing the same hardships but using their pain to help others. i think a lot of it is plainly chalked up to luck in terms of.. what they were exposed to following tragedy. how shinobu and kanae were saved by himejima, tanjiro saved by giyuu, kanao picked up by shinobu and kanae, sanemi given the guidance of kagaya while akaza was killed by muzan during his lowest moment, ume and gyuutarou were cornered by douma, rui misled by muzan, etc. i think circumstance is definitely a large factor in determining the paths that were taken. such as sanemi’s anger being validated and heard by ubuyashiki vs, say, akaza’s same anger being intentionally exploited for muzan’s gain.

aaa anyways. theres a lot 2 be said about this. like. SO much on my mind and obviously the extent of muzan’s abuse goes far deeper than what’s briefly mentioned here but.  i love talking about the complexities of kny . and how i view the demons vs the corps and how each of them have grown into their respective stories . AA but ill end it here THNK U >> also so sry for making u read thru all of this i get so excited i could talk abt kny all day long if i had the chance AAA 

[tiffgeorgina]

fuck it black monday soulmate au

this one goes out to brit pricevore and that damn quote rt about hating soulmate aus. also to all the time i wasted in the shower last night thinking about this. brit if you’re reading this i have done my part. 

this fic is sponsored by the hyuna and LE collab that i cannot stop blasting. it’s called blacklist and it kind of invented music

-ok so im starting with mo and dawn because of fucking course i am

-mo spends like four years in prison starting from when he’s 20 or 21 or sum shit. around this time, dawn’s getting her MBA from northwestern. as soon as mo’s out of prison, jammer stakes the jammer group and hands majority ownership over to mo. alright so mo needs some employees he can’t do all this by himself. so he schedules an interview with dawn and meets her and realizes that this is His Soulmate. 

-im not really certain what the exact soulmate au would be for this because frankly i don’t care, i don’t want to get into that rn lol. but it’s something obvious and clear-cut, like seeing color for the first time when you make eye contact with your soulmate or smth. Actually i rly like that idea so im gonna roll with it. Fuck it you see color the first time the first time you touch your soulmate (i’ll get into the general implications of this some more later on, maybe after keith/mike’s part stay tuned xx) i love me some ambiguous soulmate aus but all the relationships in this show are ambiguous enough so i’ll pass in that regard this time. also in this universe, your soulmate isn’t necessarily regarded as your romantic partner for life. some conservatives/evangelists/fundamentalists/traditionalists will consider any marriage/sexual or romantic relationships with people other than your soulmate to be an abomination or w/e, and the 80s were pretty conservative, but they were also pretty weird, so a lot of people give zero fucks and will date/fuck/marry whoever. these people tend to regard soulmates as the most important person in your life, regardless of the nature of your relationship with them. some people’s soulmates are like a parent to them, and could never imagine being romantic/sexual with them. lots of people never meet their soulmates due to distance/death/etc. basically fate is not as all-knowing in this soulmate au as it is in some others. there is more to a long-lasting, successful romantic relationship than just love. back in the 40s or whatever, people would meet their soulmates and marry like two weeks later, never having had sex or a romantic relationship with anybody else, and then two days into the marriage they realize how devastatingly incompatible they are and the relationship crumbles under the strain of resentment and confusion within a year. people in the 80s have started to learn the lessons the people in the 40s never had time to figure out, so most people have some romantic/sexual experience before they meet their soulmate. besides, who wants to wait that long to have sex? not me tf

-ok back to the plot now that we got the background is down. mo and dawn meet and know they’re soulmates. so they get to know each other, but their main focus is work bc they’ve got a lot of work to do if they want to get anywhere. the company is young, dawn’s just out of school, and mo’s just out of prison. there’s a lot of ground to cover and they’re impatient asf to be rich and powerful. 

-the romance sort of happens naturally, given how much time they spend together, and they fall hard. they start dating, and when it’s great, it’s great. but when it’s bad, it’s fucking horrible. they’re both really underdeveloped as people (should i mention that they both literally just entered the workforce lol) and they just. can’t. get. along. 

-they hire some more people, like keith and yassir and wayne, and even they can tell that their relationship just sucks. they fight all the time over petty shit, and their fights always go way too far and never get properly resolved. sure, the sex is good and they want pretty similar futures (lots of money and no kids), but emotionally, in the short term, they are as incompatible as it gets. they have the same argument that they’ve had a gazillion times about promoting dawn to partner, but this time it goes a little too far. the things they say are a little too hurtful, and at this point, the relationship is a little too broken to salvage. they both know that when dawn storms out that night, it’s the last time. she moves out the next day.

-but she can’t really quit, can she? at this point she’s put in like three years of work at this place, and it’s moving up the ranks, and she’s head trader. she’s not taking a pay cut because she’s too immature to work with her ex-who-is-also-her-soulmate. so she sticks around. it’s a little awkward at first, but she and mo just come to an unspoken agreement that they’ll spend less time together and let themselves detach as much as possible, because at this point, a romantic relationship just seems so impossible, so why try? they can be each other’s most important person without being romantic partners, right? of course they can! Yeah, maybe they were just destined to be platonic soulmates. this will definitely work.

-so dawn meets this guy. his name is spencer. they hit it off right away too. of course, they’re much less compatible (in terms of long-term plans and all that, especially regarding having a family) than she and mo ever were, and the chemistry is nowhere near as electric, but at least they can have a conversation about something other than how much they hate the lehman brothers without screaming at each other. despite how much she knows she doesn’t love him like she still does used to love mo, she thinks she can live the rest of her life like this. they get engaged after dating for a year, and then married after a six month engagement period.

-mo stays single for about a decade or so. the most serious relationship he has isn’t even monogamous and it’s like, barely a year. he tells himself that he’s not looking for love, and he’s much happier to just sleep around and count his money and focus on that. everybody he ever talks to knows this is a bald-faced lie. they choose not to bring it up.

-(IM REALIZING HOW SIMILAR THIS IS TO THE CANON BACKSTORY/PLOT OF BLACK MONDAY IM SCREAMING SHGLKSDFHGLKSDRGHLS WHATEVER IM HAVING FUN) so mo and dawn are still working together and their relationship is... getting better. time heals all wounds right? well, not if you keep rubbing salt in the wound by literally working with your ex-who-is-also-your-soulmate and seeing them everyday. they know subconsciously that they could’ve been really fucking great, if only they hadn’t been such idiots in their 20s. but now that chance is gone, and they both just have to accept that. they still get into fights and shit, but it tends to be over much more superficial stuff. of course, people without fifteen years of history don’t get into screaming matches over tiny shit like they do. but that’s the territory of working with your ex-who-is-also-your-soulmate.

-so mo has this stupid fucking idea that he doesn’t even run by dawn before throwing $60 mil on it, because of course he does. so she has no choice but to go with it. they hire this kid, his name is blair, because they need him to pull this off. blair finds out that mo and dawn are soulmates who used to date but don’t anymore, and he’s really not even that surprised. of course, it’s weird to find out that your bosses whom you’re weirdly close to, who seem to hate each other, used to be in love and date and the whole nine yards and all that, but it makes a lot of sense.

-so they go off to the predator’s ball bc even rich people need money sometimes. you know that scene where they’re walking back to their rooms after that wild ass night, and mo’s like “you want to call it, or?” and dawn’s like “would if i could but im married” and then they get into a fight over collateral shares? fuck that scene entirely. let dawn find out about that 30% collateral shit like the next day or some shit idfc. instead, dawn’s just a smidge drunker than she was in canon, or maybe she was thinking more clearly than she has in a while, and she just fuckin goes for it. she kisses him, and of course he kisses her, and they... sleep in the same room that night. lmfao you know what i mean. and so starts this sort of friends/business-partners-with-benefits thing. 

-they are next level awkward when they get back to NYC, and blair and keith notice the fuck out of it. they aren’t exactly on speaking terms, so they don’t bring it up to each other, but fuck if they don’t bitch about to their respective soulmates (which i will get into)

-dawn feels soooo guilty it’s unreal. But she rationalizes the hell out of it. Her relationship with spencer has a textbook dead bedroom (which is actually sort of canon), and she signed up for monogamy, not celibacy. it’s not her first example of fucked up morals for sleeping with somebody other than her husband, anyways; there are worse things she can do (and has done) than cheat. It’s not fair that he gets to have all the sex he wants while she has to suffer in silence. So she keeps hooking up with mo even if it’s the worst thing she could do for her relationship with him (and her relationship with spencer, who doesn’t even know that she’s met her soulmate, let alone that her soulmate is her fuckin business partner [canon divergent, spencer does not find out about her and mo in 1x02])

-mo feels guilty in theory but really he’s just happy to be with dawn again in some way. They’re never in dawn’s apartment, so there’s no chance they can ever be caught ever. This is fine. They are fine.

-as one can expect, they are not fine and spencer notices dawn acting differently. Eventually she has a couple drinks one night and the guilt overwhelms her so she ends up coming clean. Safe to say she and spencer get that divorce.

-around this time, mo is telling blair about the georgina play, and blair is telling him to go fuck himself. Also around this time, tiff is getting kidnapped.

-dawn immediately suspects that mo did some stupid shit when she finds out mo told blair everything. So she goes to find him, only to find him at his lake house, spreading ashes. After he tells her he knows nothing of tiff’s kidnapping and he’s spreading the ashes of a friend, she relaxes and they spend the night together, just talking over all the shit they’ve been through. They don’t have sex that night, but they feel what they used to feel when they were together 15 years ago.

-in the middle of the night, blair calls dawn in a blind panic, talking about how tiff’s parents arranged her kidnapping for the press without telling her. Blair says, “Let’s you and me run the georgina play. That’s right, i know you knew, you’re too smart not to” and dawn says “no.” she doesn’t give excuses or anything, she puts her foot down because she will not let this kid she’s known for barely a year convince her to fuck up the most fulfilling relationship she’s ever had as soon as they get to a good place again. She tells him she’ll run the play with him, but it’s not gonna be against mo. either all three of them are fucked with mo and dawn $60 mil in the hole and blair out of a job, or all three of them can be filthy rich and successful. That’s the deal. Blair says he’ll call her back tomorrow.

-the next morning, mo and dawn are talking on the doorstep, and mo brings up the georgina play and how the kid fuckin hates him now, and there’s no chance of pulling off the play bc he quit. Dawn’s like “yeah, about that… we need to schedule a meeting with him” and mo’s like “what for?” and dawn’s like “i spoke to him last night, his fiancée’s kidnapping was a sham that her parents pulled off and he might be in the right headspace to fuck them over right around now” and mo’s like “holy shit you miracle worker” and they make out and when they walk back into the office, they’re hand in hand. 

-they call blair into the office and they basically just yell at each other for three hours. Keith, yassir, wayne, and ronnie do not know what is going on and frankly they are too afraid to ask. Eventually, they reach an agreement: blair will pull hand over 6% of georgina jeans in exchange for 20% of the jammer group, and another 25% to dawn (after they use blair’s algorithm to grab that last 30% from the lehmans). They shake on it, but none of them leave happy.

-blair’s not exactly happy to fuck over his parents-in-law, and mo isn’t happy to lose majority control of his own company. Dawn lucked out, gaining more power and losing little in the play, but her relationship with both of them is so on-the-rocks that she can’t imagine upholding a business partner relationship with them. This is gonna go so great after blair gets married in *checks watch* like two months.

-so blair gets married and the georgina play is a thing that happens (successfully might i add) and everything is kind of shitty because there are at least two relationships to repair here, and one that’s coming back from the dead. But little by little, they all get to a better place until they’re more or less back at where they were before mo told blair everything and they were all just friends except this time mo and dawn are dating xx

-WHEW and that is that on that. And by that on that i mean that on mo/dawn for this au. Dw im gonna get to blair/tiff and mike/keith and im super excited to write those too but i’ll make sure to put those in a separate post because i don’t think tumblr could handle a +7000 word post lmfao (since this post is nearly 2500 words jesus christ)

-i hoped y’all liked reading this as much as i loved writing it!! Again i love feedback and i read everything y’all say in the tags so please put stuff in the tags bc i love that shit!! Gn xx

[ts-2020-olympics]

Episode 7 - “I wonder why you're not liked” - Nicole (& Ben)

Glad I sat out on that one - really didn't know anything Survivor related. Darcy's score of 12 is a huge shame, but gives me incentive to vote him out. He tried, he flopped, that's how it is. If it's me going this round, GGWP. 

Oh yeah! So, Nicole returned to the game.... Grrreat. It was probably the worst outcome I could have, but honestly, I don't want to dwell on it too long. With Nicole and Jacob both back in the game and Juls out of it, my fate looks worse and worse each day, as my list of allies continues to shorten and my list of enemies only gets longer. I feel very scared for the future, and rather trapped as of now, trapped between millions of possibilities, none of which have me doing very well. But hey, hasn't that been how it's been since Day 1 of this game? I started things off on Sonkei, a tribe so quiet I couldn't tell if I was running the show or on the bottom of everything until like 3 tribal councils in. A tribe where every new enemy I made would come back from the arena with a vengeance, and things only got harder. A tribe where I consistently lost challenges despite putting in my all. Then I got to nuMIraitowa, and my time here has been incredibly hectic. A bumpy road, to say the least. It's been a journey of gaining friends and then losing them, knowing people are lying but not knowing why, and just struggling to find the tiniest crack so I can get off the fucking bottom and just... SURVIVE. It's really been tough out here, and you can see the game starting to wear me down. My insanity is starting to come through in the main chats and honestly I've just lost all patience and tolerance that I had at the beginning of the game, the real me is beginning to show through. The one who lashes out, and desperately tugs at every heartstring possible, and says exactly what he's thinking without giving a fuck who's listening or the repercussions it might have down the line. Who makes everything public. I KNOW that these things are not typically good for my game, and yet, I just find myself so inclined to do them. Even though they've never helped me win anything, I can't help but be true to myself. I don't know, I guess I just feel frustrated. I'm at a place in ORGs where I feel so helpless, like I'm the victim of my own personality. I know exactly what's holding me back but I can't seem to just get past it. I guess I just keep hoping that one of these days, I'll play exactly true to myself, 100% me, and people will like that person enough to want to work with him or be happy to reward him a win. But it hasn't happened yet and I don't know if it can happen here anymore. I'm really struggling to push through. But, if there's one thing I'll never do, it's give up. Even when everything feels like it's caving in and I'm ready to just collapse, like I was saying earlier - no matter how much I want to do something, the real me ALWAYS fights back and does what it wants anyway. And the real me can't give up. Deep down in my core I always fight back, I always stand up for myself, sometimes even when I'm wrong. I just can't stand letting things go, and I know it's a character flaw, but hell, it's also a strength, and it's something I'm proud of, in a weird way. I don't want to be the player who gives in, never reveals anything, or plays it safe. I want to play it my way because if I don't, then how can I enjoy a win? How can I be proud of myself for winning if it wasn't ME that won? I have to win it my way, and sure, right now it looks difficult. VERY difficult. Maybe even impossible. But I'm approaching on the Final 16, and maybe, just maybe, a swap is on the horizon. Maybe new things are coming and maybe this entire game is about to reinvent itself for me. I've got allies in Jordan, Eve, Pete... potential allies in Caeleb, Ben, Sammy, Kevin... Maybe I could fix things with Emma. Honestly, who knows what's ahead. I'm very scared, partly, if that wasn't obvious by this big emotional confessional. But I'm also kind of exhilarated, this is exactly what Survivor is supposed to be and I can't wait for the next stage of the game. These are the Olympics, so it's go big or go home. Let's do this.

Hello again, this is Darcy here reporting with more confessing.  So, for starters, I still have yet to find something at the Olympic Village, which is really nothing new at this point of the game.   Now for the fun parts, my tribe lost Immunity, which not really surprising, since that kind of challenge I felt whoever had gold medal won that challenge.   So, we get to enjoy another tribal, where I am hoping for it to be Ben, since Ben is the one I trust the least, due to hearing about Ben wanting to come for me last round if I lost immunity, assuming that was a true tidbit anyways.   I have a feeling this vote could be between Ben and I, but here's to hoping Ben targets someone else and not me woo!   I do have enough trust in my alliance with Beck, Tommy and Karen though that us four should hopefully stick together to just take out the common enemy in Ben.   Then Ben may come back again with a gold medal, but if he does, I mean good for him.

I'm back, babes! Okay, so regarding my last confessional...I guess maybe I went a little too hard on some people. But, I was angry and validly so. Nothing much has changed even though I'm really good at faking forgiveness. About twenty minutes after I dropped in the FOUR AND A HALF HOUR PRESSURE COOKER, Sammy messages me asking to call!

I'm back babes! So as soon as I got back after the FOUR AND A HALF HOUR ENDURANCE, people were all of the sudden really happy to see me -- which was a LOT different than 24 hours prior! I talked to my best ally Kevin first, of course! I really hope at the end of the game Kevin's confessionals aren't like "oh geez and then I had to talk to Nicole, she's so annoying" bc I will be crushed, as a person he is just so nice and I'm so happy we have been given the opportunity to become friends from this game! So I talk to Kevin, then Caeleb and then...whatta know! Sammy! Right to the rescue, he wants to call after 1) voting me out 2) revoting me out. Now, long story short I made significant peace with Sammy through the phone call BUT something did happen that really did not sit well with me. While we were calling he said he DIDN'T want to apologize because we both did things wrong. Hm. Well, Sammy! Okay! I would have had more respect and less wariness of him moving forward if he did apologize but, he didn't. He kind of said like "ok so i know i lied about the advantages I had in this game and gave you nothing to trust me off of, got mad when you didn't trust me, then decided I was going to vote with Eve to get rid of you, revoted to seal your fate and called you out on a tribal call like 'if anyone wants to apologize now would be the time', but i don't think I NEED to apologize because, we were equally wrong.' Someone please explain to ME how exactly it is that we would be equally wrong when everything I did was to protect myself, and everything he did was because he had other people he could trust over me. Now that Juls is gone and he kind of showed his ass, he's now saying hey haha let's work together again though! I haven't decided if I want to do that, AND now I have a lot more options because people saw how kick ass I could be :) Speaking of the comp, it kind of grinds my gears that coming back in the last few messages before I entered again were Emma and Landen actively rooting against me. Landen, I understand. Emma...who even are you? Why do you hate me? lmao. Okay I may still be a little bit mad. Ben also as I'm typing this messaged me "I wonder why you're not liked", which is like hurtful but accurate. Anyway....I'm making at LEAST f15 now (bc my gold medal) so that's very fun, A+ content. I think we are swapping after this THANK GOD bc I have to get AWAY from this tribe. I hope I get to stay with either Jacob or Kevin, and maybe even get swapped with Jordan Pines or Karen so I can feel some semblance of security. I'll make a confessional about it next round bc :) im back :) hehe

anyway so this ugly ass tribe lost again. The only good thing to happen over the last few days is that nicole is back ugh I wasn’t ready to lose on of my allies skdjfkdjfj anyway so juls is gone and it’s down to me tommy Darcy beck caeleb and Ben, 4/6 of us are in an alliance and then there’s cae and Ben sjdjjddnjd obvs Ben is the choice to vote but also like bc it’s so obvious I’m scared that he’ll know and play an idol /: scares me bc I’m not 100% sure who he’d vote and he’s shown that he’s willing to vote for me at any moment so I’m just debating whether I should throw a vote at caeleb just in case to tie it or if I should let one of my alliance members potentially get voted out. Best case scenario if Ben plays an idol is that he votes for beck bc I don’t trust that hoe at all wkendkdndndn but yeah I haven’t had time to really talk to Ben so it’s prob too late to probe into his plans. Ugh I hope this tribal is quick & painless /: 

hello. confessional #472. i've survived another round so that's fun! i feel rly solid about the bonds i have with people right now so i know a tribe swap is incoming but that's for the best bc i'd rather not vote out anyone on yushu rn… so we'll see! 

Really mad I got voted out, feeling pretty betrayed by my tribe rn. 

I wish em didn't have to get voted out, but I'm pretty confident she'll fight tooth and nail to get back into the running..

Tribal just happened and we voted out Ben again in a unanimous vote. It was an easy vote I think either we are swapping into 3 tribes of 5 at Final 15 or 16, but if it's Final 16 the Gold Medal winner will be exiled. If we don't swap I think Ben will win the Gold and Beck the silver medal so we have a good chance of winning immunity incase there's another round before we swap. I'm really just trying to maintain get close to Caeleb because he's probably still skeptical about the whole Juls vote which I'm happy she's out because she's a threat but on the other hand she was so sweet it was sad she had to leave early. At this point I'm trying to maintain good relationships going into a swap and hope I get a good tribe that's strong and will leave me in the majority going into the merge. Also, at this point once Emma or Ben is officially voted out we'll be down to 9 returnees and 7 newbies so I really don't care if some of these returnees start hitting the road and going home. It's gonna come down to who wants to take me to the end and that's who I'm with. 

It's the end of the round, you know what that means? LAST MINUTE JORDAN PINES CONFESSIONAL TIME! It's america's favourite game show where Jordan Pines quickly makes a confessional at the last possible moment to not recieve a strike and tries to make his thoughts sound coherent. Let's Play! Whew this round was awful compared to every round so far in every aspect. First we get a challenge and I'm like... Oh Shit we can win this! and I work my ass of coordinating, doing most of the work for the tribe getting list ready in shit. And guess what it worked, we had the best scores over all and it wasn't very close... until you remember that each member of a tribe getting 20% on a challenge like this is basically a guaranteed win unless you are absolutely garbage. So we lose! Here we are and I have 4 people on my tribe including and I want to go far with all 3. Like I was at a loss. Not to mention the fact that I was having the day from hell where I could only be on for a minute like for the whole day. It ends up being emma and that fucking sucks cause emma is an icon. She has now won the duel and thank god I had some common sense not to blindside her and give her a heads up so that I can repair the relationship. Let's see how she feels about me tonight, but like I stand by it that I quote it here, in an ideal world i would go as close to the end with emma, shes iconic and i trust her a lot. I hope I havent damaged this relationship too badly! LET ME SWAP ALREADY!

I am tired of losing!! we’ve been attending tribal nonstop and it sucks. All these people are amazing. The vote was between Sarah and Em, Jordan was quite busy and didn’t care who left so it came down to my decision unfortunately. I decided em should go because I just don’t have a relation with her like I do with Jordan and Sarah. Luckily she won and is still in the game and got us gold <3 Jordan’s gonna try and do damage control with Em to keep her on our side. We’ve got a few advantages rn  and have been leading these tribals so I hope we stay in a good position. 

[wannasoftimagine]

park jihoon as your older friend

(( AS REQUESTED! // jihoon scenario where you're 2 years younger than him so you think he only sees you as a little sister but he confesses to you when he thinks you're gonna date someone else bc he's scared of losing you??? this is lowkey rly specific but THANK YOU!!! ))

ure used to hearing ppl talk abt how young jihoon is, and how hes so so so cute

of course, u agree with him

everyone does tbh

still, it makes u feel a little upset bc it seems like everyone who says those things are older than him, with jobs and life experience and history and Fancy Stuff like tht

so compared to them, u feel like a toddler

even tho ure only 2 yrs younger than jihoon, it feels like theres 100 yrs between u

it doesnt help tht jihoon is always going on radio shows and reality programs, acting cute whenever someone older so much as looks his way

still

u know u should prob just feel grateful tht ure close friends, since most ppl dont even get tht far

but sometimes u wonder if itd be better if u werent close, bc now he only sees u as a little sibling to take care of

u wish u could say it wasnt true, but everything he does is exactly like an older brother

he dotes on u and watches over u, but instead of acting like a caring boyfriend, he just seems like someone babysitting his little sibling and u haTE IT

ure not even sure how long uve liked him romantically, but its like whenever u remember how he used to treat u even when u first met, ure stuck thinking abt how he mustve seen u

after all, who can look at a kid tht used to cry whenever their parents went to work and go “oh yeah theyre cute i like them a lot” ???

not jihoon

esp when hes already way out of ur league to begin with

as u get older, ur feelings for jihoon dont completely fade

there r times when theyre easier to ignore, sure, but its impossible to think tht theyre actually gone

whenever u guys make eye contact over dinner at a fast food restaurant, he beams at u in a way tht cant possibly be taken as platonic

ur heart is beating way too fast for u to lie to urself

anyways

u try and move on by befriending other ppl and even trying to date some other ppl

of course tht rlly doesnt work out

u turn down almost anyone tht u could possibly go out with, and even when ur friends try and set u up with other ppl, u can never make it past the first blind date

(ure too busy comparing the strangers to jihoon and watching them all fall short)

u mention some of the blind dates to jihoon

at first its bc ure hoping he’ll get jealous and confess

but as more time goes on, hes still just as supportive in his answers, and u realize tht theres no use in hoping when he clearly doesnt feel the same way

then a new guy transfers to ur school, and hes vaguely attractive and smart and funny and u get along well enough

he asks u out after school one day, and ure like why not? so u accept a first date bc u might as well give it a shot

its the first date tht ure on where u try not to think so much abt jihoon

it works for the most part, but u still find ur mind drifting off and wondering what jihoons up to

when the guy excuses himself to take a phone call from one of his friends, u manage to text jihoon to check up on him

u banter back and forth, and u cant help the way ure grinning down at ur phone with every text he sends u

at some point he asks where u are, and u realize wHOOPS guess who didnt tell jihoon tht u were having a date tonight

...

u

cmon dude whats up w that

anyways so u explain to him tht ure on a date w the new guy in ur class

and jihoons response is surprisingly short and clipped

its just a quick “oh” and ure like “???” bc hes never responded quite like tht before

so u ask him if smthns up

u see the typing bubble appear and disappear, appear and disappear, and so on

eventually it just disappears completely and he doesnt start typing again and ure even more confused than u were before

after what seems like forever, he texts u to ask if ure having a good time

u tell him tht u think u are

honestly tho, ure not too sure bc now its impossible for u to think of anything other than him

the guy comes back with an apology and a smile, and ure forced to tuck ur phone away and try not to be too obviously distracted for the rest of the evening

tht proves to be WAY TOO HARD

the entire night ure picking apart the way the guy cuts his food (jihoon looks cute doing literally anything), how he gives u a smile when u meet eyes (it doesnt look as genuine and bright as jihoons), how jihoon wouldnt even take u to a restaurant like this (u both feel more comfortable somewhere lowkey and relaxed)

if the guy notices, he doesnt say anything

at the end, he just drops u off back at ur home and tells u he had a nice time, and “maybe we could do this again?”

all u can do is choke out a “maybe” in response before ure hurrying inside and scrambling to check ur phone

jihoon hasnt rlly texted u since u last checked, and u can feel ur heart drop a little in its chest

u send him a quick msg, asking what hes up to and if he wants to facetime or smthn bc ure done with the date, and hes quick to agree

right before u call him, u see his text saying tht “i need to talk to u abt smtn too so its good timing”

ure freaking out a little bc maybe hes going to tell u abt his own s/o now tht uve told him abt ur date and u can feel ur hands shaking as the connection loads

once ure in ur room, u manage to make out his tired (but still glowing) features on ur phone screen

u greet each other with half-stilted questions, and u cant help but wonder why ure both so awkward w each other

i mean. obv u know why u are

but ure like ? why is HE acting so weird

and after a few more moments of tense silence, u finally ask him what he wanted to talk abt

somehow even thru the phone screen u can see his face turn bright red

and u would think abt how cute it was if u werent also thinking tht u mustve been right, hes dating someone else, and u can feel ur eyes start to well up w tears bc uve always known tht he didnt like u back, but this time its so painfully obvious

thts when he clears his throat like “um,, y/n,,,, we’ve known each other for awhile and i kno ure kinda young but,,,,,,”

and somehow he hasnt noticed tht ure having a mental breakdown as he gets closer and closer to saying what he wanted to tell u

“anyways y/n,,, i rlly like u so please dont go out w that guy again and mb go out w me instead??”

which. WHAT

ure literally shellshocked and hes trying to explain on the other end like “i mean u dont have to if u dont want to i just wanted to tell u and-”

its honestly precious tbh

u barely manage to cut him off but ure still a mess of emotions so u cant rlly talk properly

ure pretty sure tht u end up saying the equivalent of a keyboard smash,,,

he quiets down tho, and as ure trying to figure out want u want to say, he just looks at u w this rlly cute earnest expression and ur heart MELTS

eventually u manage to choke out tht u like him and now its his turn to get surprised

“WAIT ARE U SERIOUS”

he whisper-screams the whole thing, bc he doesnt want to actually scream and hurt ur ears but hes still freaking out and cant contain everything hes feeling

all u can do is nod and grin into ur hands and hes like “uGH now i wish i could tell u in person” but hes acting all soft and shy and tbh u dont think either of u could handle it if u were in the same room right now

still

ure both blushing and giggling and u feel so so relieved its kinda embarrassing

but he manages to cough out tht he’s rlly rlly happy tht u like him too, and “lets meet up soon? please?”

and who are u to deny him smthn like tht

(esp when uve been dreaming abt going on a date w him since forever ago)

eventually u have to end the call

but u both go to sleep that night with ur phones nearby, smiling even as u drift off to sleep

[hrina]

Popsicles And Kiwis

PAIRING: Harry/Y/N RATING: R WORD COUNT: 4800+ REQUESTED: yes !

so this came from a small request about eating a popsicle and accidentally starting something that couldn’t be finished.......i went a bit overboard with it, but i hope u enjoy some smut! please let me know what u think :-) it rLY motivates me ! [feedback] [masterlist]

~*~

It’s hot.

The unbearable heat that’s swept over the country still hasn’t ceased. It had been hot when you’d woken up (Harry had yelped when you’d practically pushed him off the bed, moaning about how he just wanted to love on you and being met with your rebuttal of how his body was like a furnace and today that kind of temperature just wasn’t welcome). It had been hot when you’d arrived at Anne’s, and whilst you’d been eating lunch. You couldn’t stand it.

Thankfully, Anne had insisted on giving you a popsicle; she couldn’t have her son’s fiancée fainting in the middle of her kitchen, now could she? You had expressed your gratitude with a kiss to her cheek, and now you’re happily sucking on a raspberry-flavored treat on the couch. Harry’s documentary is playing on the television–Anne had said that she wanted to watch it with him (you’ve already seen it about four times, but really, that’s something that nobody needs to know).

“You little felon!” Anne laughs as the Harry on the screen pulls off his shirt, his pants quickly following. Your fiancé covers his face with his hands, leaning forward and groaning in embarrassment.

“I didn’t know they were gonna put that in!” he protests. He presses his forehead to your bare shins, which have been slung over his lap carelessly. You smile, watching Harry and his mum interact–every so often she lets out small, teasing quips, and she even tears up a few times, her pride getting the best of her.

“Dont cry, Mum,” Harry warns, “If you cry, I’m gonna cry.”

“I’m sorry,” Anne chuckles. She reaches for the remote to pause the documentary before standing and dusting off her pants. “I’ll be right back–I need some tissues.”

“Take your time,” you say, and she shoots you a grateful smile. 

Once she’s out of the lounge, you turn back to Harry, subconsciously swirling your tongue around the popsicle in your mouth. “She loves you so much,” you say, the thought slipping out.

You wait for a response, but when it doesn’t come, you lift your eyes. Harry’s staring at you intensely, gaze focused on where you’re sucking the sweet treat into your mouth, lips molding around the shape and cheeks hollowing almost pornographically. You raise your eyebrows at him.

“Harry?”

“Hmm?” he blinks, snapping out of his obvious stupor. You smirk at him, hearing his mother ruffling around in the kitchen. A moment later, you extend your arm, offering the popsicle to him.

“Want a lick?”

“No,” his voice is hoarse as he watches you. He licks his lips, his jugular bobbing almost painfully in his throat. “No, I’m—you can have it. Finish it, please.”

Your brows knit together in confusion—what’s gotten into him? It’s only when you sit back, your legs shifting on his lap, that you feel it. Oh.

Oh.

“Are you…?” you trail off, the popsicle slipping from your mouth. The pursing of his lips is an unconscious answer, and you scowl. “Harry!”

“’M sorry!” he whispers fiercely, throwing up his hands. “Can’t control it!”

“Your mum is here!” you hiss at him, reaching over to slap his arm. He groans, but if anything, the sound is more sensual than pained. You frown—your ice cream hasn’t found its way back past your lips, not now since you’re aware of the effect that it has on him. You hear Anne make a triumphant sound from the kitchen and you assume that she’s finally found some tissues. Her footsteps become louder as she nears the lounge, and you turn back to Harry with an even expression.

“I’m finishing this,” you tell him, quietly but firmly. “It’s hot, and it’s not my fault that everything is hypersexual to you.”

“It’s not!” he protests, but you shush him.

“Try to make it go down before we have to leave,” you say, and then you pop the cold treat back into your mouth, giving it a particularly forceful suck just to spite him. Harry lets out an agonized groan just as his mum sashays back into the room.

“What’s wrong, love?” she asks, having heard the sound.

Harry shoots you a panicked look before clearing his throat and glancing back up at his mother. “Stomach ache,” he grits out. “Think it might be the heat. Mind if I duck out to use the loo?”

“Of course,” Anne nods. Harry springs up quickly as his mother sits down, taking full advantage of the time that it takes for her to get settled on the sofa. He’s out of the room before she even looks back up (which is convenient, obviously—the last thing either of you need is for her to see her son’s raging erection), and you’re forced to cram your popsicle into your mouth to hold in your laugh.

~*~

That fucking treat.

Harry swears under his breath as he rapidly unbuckles his jeans, forcing the constricting material only down to the middle of his thighs. He doesn’t have much time before his mum comes knocking and wondering if his abrupt stomach ache was a result of something he’d eaten. He pulls his cock out of his boxers, hissing as his thumb brushes the tip. There’s already a dollop of precum beading at the head, and he grits his teeth, wrapping a loose fist around himself.

“C’mon,” he mutters, starting at a quick, rough pace—usually he’d tease himself, but he’s painfully aware of the time constraint. He knows it won’t take long for him to get there, but he’s paranoid, and right now, his release seems impossibly distant.

“C’mon, be good for me.” Imagining you with him always does him in—he takes full advantage of that. For one fleeting second, he’s pounding into you; the next, you’re on your knees, waiting with parted lips and wide, expectant eyes. He swears yet again, frustrated that he’s unable to focus on a single memory without being overwhelmed by nearly all the sexual endeavours that you two have experienced.

He puts his left hand on the bathroom counter next to the toilet, trying to steady himself. The position is brief, however, seeing as a prominent, incredibly bright image pops into his mind. It’s something the two of you had only done once, after he’d returned from Jamaica. You’d jumped him the moment he’d stepped into your flat, peppering his face and neck with kisses and begging him to make up for lost time.

His left hand leaves the counter and joins his right. He presses his palms to the base of his cock, slowly sliding upwards towards his tip and hissing through his teeth. Though he’s unable to replicate the sensation perfectly, it’s enough. He can see you beneath him, eyes clouded over with both lust and love, hands pushing your breasts together as his dick slides between them fluidly. His thumb runs over his tip, and he imagines that he’s just bumped your chin in his eagerness, causing you to let out a small chuckle.

“Such pretty tits,” his whispers. He can practically hear your whimper—you love the praise, and the sound has been ingrained in his mind thanks to months upon months of being together.

His hands are picking up speed, and—almost subconsciously—he reaches down to squeeze his balls lightly. He can hear the documentary still playing a few rooms away, mixed with laughter—your laughter—and fuck, he knows he’s there.

“Good girl, such a good girl, pet,” he mumbles furiously. He balls his left hand into a fist, shoving his knuckles in his mouth to muffle the groan that escapes him as he finally explodes. Thick, opaque streams of cum shoot into the toilet, a few haphazard ropes dribbling down his hand. Harry closes his eyes, his lips forming around a silent prayer of gratitude.

He pulls on the roll of toilet paper, ripping off a piece to wipe his hand. He then tosses it into the trash can a few feet away; after a moment, he grabs some more, balling that up as well and meticulously covering the cum-covered tissue. He’s at his mum’s place, after all.

He flushes the toilet and turns on the faucet, looking up at his reflection in the mirror as he washes his hands. His cheeks are slightly flushes, eyes frenzied yet fucked-out. He runs his tongue over his lips lightly before turning the tap and shutting the flow of water. Your voice floats through the air, and over the ringing in his ears, he hears something about “checking up on him”.

He opens the door after the first knock. You’re standing there, your fist raised and your eyes wide in surprise. Harry takes advantage of your posture, his hand wrapping around your wrist and tugging you into the washroom.

“Wha—?” you yelp, but then his lips are on yours, subsequently cutting off your exclamation.

The kiss is bruising, and you can’t help but to melt into him as he grips your face in his hands. The tension leaves your shoulders, and your knees suddenly feel wobbly, like they’ll give out on you any second. Harry doesn’t fight the smile that curves along his lips; after a long moment, you place a delicate hand onto his chest, pulling back and inhaling deeply.

“Hi,” you murmur. Your fingertips come up to tap gently on your lips; you do that every time one of Harry’s kisses catches you by surprise. It’s almost like you’re trying to savour the flavour of his mouth.

He finds it unbearably adorable.

“Hi,” he smiles at you, his grin lopsided. He’s feeling the effects of his post-orgasmic haze: his insides are warm, eyes droopy, muscles loose and flexible. He always becomes insanely cuddly and affectionate after his release, and his mannerisms spark a flicker of recognition on your face.

“Did you…?” your lips part in surprise. His response is simply another pert kiss delivered to your nose, and you gasp, pushing away from him.

“Harry!”

“I’m sorry,” he says, but his words are painfully slow, and you can tell that he doesn’t really mean it. “Was nothing else I could do.”

“You could have—,” you break off abruptly, searching for another plausible option, but he’s right. Nothing—at least, nothing inconspicuous—could have been done to control his little problem. You abandon the rest of your sentence, letting out a long sigh and pinching the bridge of you nose in exasperation.

“I can’t believe I’m marrying you,” you say. Harry grins dopily at you, his eyes shining with love, and you just shake your head. His expression is enough to make you smile, though, and you close your eyes as you nuzzle your nose against his cheek. “I love you, you idiot.”

“That’s my girl,” he says, turning his head and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Love you more.”

~*~

Payback is a fucking bitch.

Your chest is puffed out, filled with a held breath that you can’t force yourself to release. Your lips are pursed, and your eyes are boring into your fiancé’s skull, silently urging him to quit it. Harry remains completely unaware, though, biting into the soft half of a kiwi and humming in delight. The sound is pure torture, and you have no other choice but to look away.

Usually, he does things like that on purpose. A tiny gesture to get you riled up—whether it be the pass of his hand on your lower back, or a small kiss to the crook between your shoulder and your neck—usually followed by a teasing smirk that tells you he knows exactly what he’s doing. But this…this is downright painful, and it’s all because he’s so oblivious to the effect it has on you.

Why are you making it so much more sexual than it should be? He’s just eating a piece of fruit, for God’s sake. But then he dips his tongue into the crevice created by his teeth, his eyes closing in satisfaction, and you swallow convulsively. That’s why.

When he lets out a moan of pleasure, you snap.

“Can you stop that?” you demand.

Harry freezes, his eyes popping open and his brows knitting together in confusion. He pulls the kiwi away from his lips, and you want to sob. His mouth is shining with juice, a few haphazard droplets running down his chin. On cue, his tongue darts out to lick his lips, and he wipes the excess fluid away with the back of his hand.

“Sorry?” he asks—it’s not an apology, it’s him wondering if he’s heard you right.

“Can you—,” you grit your teeth, looking back down at the pasta that you’re cooking on the stove, “—just…fuck me.’

You mutter the last part under your breath, the words acting as an exasperated exclamation. Harry, however, pushes back from the kitchen table and rises from his chair. “Can I just ‘fuck you’?” he asks, his eyebrows still furrowed in bewilderment.

“No!” you say, before realizing that you want him to fuck you. “Yes,” you backtrack, before gritting your teeth; this really isn’t going well. “I mean—just stop eating that fucking fruit!”

He’s still confused—you can see it written all over his face—but your disgruntled behaviour makes him laugh. He circles around the counter, wrapping his arms around your midsection and pressing his forehead against the exposed nape of your neck. When he exhales, his hot breath tickles your skin, and you tighten your grip around the wooden spoon in your hand.

“Why’re you so cranky today, hmm?” Harry asks. He peppers a handful of kisses to your shoulder over the large t-shirt draping down your figure; you let out a shaky breath.

“’M not,” you mumble, glaring down at the pasta in the pot. You need to prepare lunch; there’s no time to act upon your needs.

“You are,” Harry muses. You sigh, setting down the spoon. It lands with a muffled noise onto the counter, and you reach forward, turning the knob on the stove and shutting it. The pasta can wait.

“Fine.” You spin around in Harry’s grasp. He steps back slightly, evidently not having expected the movement. Your gestures are dramatic and exaggerated, but you can’t find any other way to express your frustration. “I’m cranky because I’ve had to watch you basically eat out that kiwi for the past ten minutes. And it’s...it’s making me hot, okay?”

His brows were furrowed before, but now, with your confession ringing in his ears, they creep up his forehead until they’re almost disappearing into his hairline. Harry smirks, pinching his bottom lip in between his thumb and forefinger; his eyes are trained on you, smug and tempting and God, you just want to kiss the annoyingly handsome expression from his face.

“Don’t laugh at me,” you mumble, casting your gaze downward. You play with the silver band that circles around your ring finger, tapping the large diamond idly.

Harry snorts quietly, and you jut your bottom lip out into a pout. “C’mon now,” he says, stepping forward and running his thumb over your mouth, smoothing out your hurt features. “Don’t be like that. If you want something, you need only ask. Thought you knew tha’.”

“I do,” you breathe, tilting your head up so that your gaze locks with his. Your hands creep up his chest, fingers gripping the material of his crewneck. You wait, looking up at him expectantly—he usually makes the first move, and it’s something that you’ve come to love about him.

“Do you need to excuse yourself to the loo?”

You gasp, swatting half-heartedly at his shoulder, but a knowing smile curls at the corner of your lips anyways. Harry laughs loudly, baring his perfect teeth and the dimple that you constantly poke, despite his grumbling (you know he loves it though—he’d told you once while he was drunk).

“Last time I checked, we were the only ones here,” you murmur. You stare fixedly at the skin of his neck, running your fingers along where you know his veins bulge when he’s singing. You tap his jugular lightly, and he swallows in response. His hands find your face, and before you can make a sound, his mouth is on yours.

“’M sorry for teasing you, pet,” he grits out the words through hot, heavy kisses, “Lemme—fuck—lemme make it up to you.”

You whimper in affirmation, and he spins you to the side, pressing you against the counter a bit harder than was intended. A small, pained sound echoes in your throat, and Harry grimaces, kissing you softly and stroking your cheeks in apology.

“Sorry,” he says, “So sorry, love, I—”

“It’s okay!” you gasp, your voice bordering on frantic. He’s lit a fire in the pit of your stomach, and with each pass of his hands over your body, with each kiss from his lips, you can feel the flames crawling upwards, licking higher and higher until your chest is hot and tight with need. You pull at the collar of his blue crewneck. “Off, get this off, please.”

“Easy, easy,” Harry tells you. “Gonna take care of you, I promise.”

He stoops down slightly, placing his hands on the backs of your thighs and lifting demandingly. You help him, wrapping one leg around his waist before hopping up so that he has a firm grip on you. He exits your kitchen and carries you into the adjoining lounge, placing one knee on the couch before toppling over.

You squeal when you land on the cushions with a muffled noise, Harry groaning as his body plops down on top of you. A brief laugh leaves your lips before he’s stifling the sound with his mouth against yours. The chuckle that he makes melts into a moan when you run your tongue along his bottom lip, and he opens easily—eagerly—for you.

Before you know it, he’s got his right hand in your pants, wedged between the fabric of your shorts and your underwear. The elastic band of your bottoms presses against his wrist as he twists, finding your clit with ease and rubbing you through the cotton material of your panties. When you twitch underneath him, he lets out a satisfied sigh. “Oh, there it is.”

“Shut up,” you choke out, throwing your head back when he moves your underwear to the side so that he can brush his fingertips against you fully. Harry swears, frustrated with the awkward angle and the shorts that are still seated on your hips. With a final kiss to your lips, he pushes up so that he’s kneeling and moves down your body. His large fingers hook into the waistband of your bottoms and he pulls them down in one swift motion, knocking a gasp from your lungs.

“That’s it,” he mumbles, his eyes trained on the apex of your thighs, where a small wet spot is staining your panties. Your fists ball up tightly when he leans down, planting a long kiss to your left hip before running only the tip of his tongue along the skin right above the elastic of your knickers. A squeak leaves your lips when he presses his nose against where he knows your clit is practically throbbing with arousal underneath the fabric.

“So…warm.” It’s almost like he’s in a trance, his eyes closed and his lips puckered in thought as he nuzzles his cheek against your inner thigh. “Always so warm and ready for me, angel. Love your cunt.”

“Harry,” you say meekly, his name a plea for more and a reminder that you’re here, you’re with him, and you’re waiting for something. Harry finally opens his eyes, dark irises trained on you. His lips are pinker than usual and slightly swollen due to your fierce kisses, and his cheeks are flushed—he looks freshly-fucked, even though you haven’t even done anything yet.

“Sorry,” he apologizes softly. He litters kisses along the sensitive skin on the inside of your thighs, and you can sense him slipping away again, getting lost in his own head. “So, so sorry, love. Lemme fix it.”

He pulls at the cotton covering your pelvis, eyes fixated on the skin that is revealed to him as he inches your panties down your legs. His nostrils flare when he smells how turned on you are—he’s been reduced to only the most primal of instincts, and your scent is driving him positively wild.

“Making me mad, love,” Harry says gruffly. He yanks your underwear down the rest of the way, and you thrash momentarily to fling them off. Harry’s on his stomach between your thighs, and you spread your legs a bit wider to grant him enough room. You lift your right leg so that your knee is nearly hooked over the back of the couch, and Harry burrows in deeper so that he can angle your left thigh over his shoulder. His large hands find your hips, holding you down as he leans in and inhales deeply.

“Fuck. Love how wet you get, angel. All for me, yeah?”

“Yes.” You hate how your voice shakes.

Harry hums in approval before pressing a quick, teasing kiss to your clit. You gasp at the brief stimulation, your hips bucking up involuntarily—he’s quick to pin them back down. The slight show of dominance makes something in your stomach curl deliciously, only adding to the flames that have spiralled out of control.

“Really wanna hear you, alright? You gonna be good for me, pet?”

“Yes, I will, I will, just—,” you huff, your impatience getting the best of you, “—please, Harry I’m so…it hurts, it—”

“Oh, my sweet girl,” Harry shushes you, laying his cheek against your thigh, “’M sorry. Haven’t been very nice to you, have I?”

You stay silent, unsure of what to say. Thankfully, Harry continues, which only assures you that he hadn’t wanted an answer to begin with. “I’m gonna make it better, love. Gonna make you feel so much better.”

With that, he—quite literally—dives in.

You gasp when he wraps his lips around your clit, his tongue flicking the sensitive nub in rapid strokes. He’s merciless with his technique, pulling out all the tricks that he knows will have you positively quivering underneath him. Your hands fly down, fingers braiding into the soft tufts of curls atop his head, and you let out a shaky breath when you feel him give a firm suck to your clit.

“Fuck,” you whisper, your eyes fluttering shut. Harry hums against you, and the vibrations make you whimper quietly. For the next minute or so, the only sounds that can be heard are those of him greedily eating your cunt and you rewarding him with heavy pants and groans.

When his tongue begins to circle your entrance, you let out a particularly loud moan, opening your eyes and peering down at him. His hair is tousled from your fingers, and you only tighten your grip when he sighs against you. His nose is resting on your clit, and his eyes are closed in bliss, eyebrows high up on his forehead. It’s the same expression he wears when he’s fast asleep, vulnerable and exposed.

Except the bottom half of his face can’t be seen. His mouth is hidden from view, but you can feel the contrast—he’s licking and sucking and kissing with a franticness and an urgency that you’ve never quite seen before. You vaguely remember him telling you once that he enjoyed eating you, that you tasted tart and ripe and inviting—but you’d never truly believed it until now, when the evidence of his satisfaction is driving you closer and closer to your orgasm.

“Harry—,” you warn, toes curling in pleasure, “Harry, I feel—oh God!”

He smirks against you. Your hips buck up, but he’s quick to pin them down, hands gripping you tightly and thumbs rubbing soothing circles along your skin. You pant, your chest heaving beneath the material of your t-shirt.

“Gonna cum for me?” Harry asks, his words slightly muffled against your clit. “Gonna help me out, love?”

“Yes, please,” you cry, “I w-wanna cum.”

“Do it for me, darling, c’mon…”

His words are utterly sinful, coaxing you closer and closer to the edge. His hand pinches your left hip comfortingly before sliding up under your t-shirt, fingers dancing over your ribs until he finds your breast. “Fucking love these,” he tells you, pressing a pert kiss to your jumping clit. “Perfect, they are.”

“Oh!” you call out when he reattaches his lips to your clit, and God, he’s really determined to get you to cum. Your fingers are positively yanking at his hair, eliciting a deep, throaty groan from his lips. His own digits are playing with your nipple, tweaking it and rolling it between his thumb and forefinger and only adding to the powerful coil that’s tightening in your stomach.

“Wanna taste you, love,” Harry admits against you, his tongue stroking your outer lips with a gentle pressure. “If you cum for me, I’ll fuck you after—fuckin’ ruin you if you want me to.”

While he speaks, he keeps your clit stimulated with his thumb, rubbing harsh, unforgiving circles into the small bud. Your hips careen upwards and this time, he doesn’t bother pinning them down. A yelp gets caught in your throat, and you let out a pained, imploring sob. “Harry, I’m gonna—!”

“Yeah,” he whispers, more to himself than to you. “Yeah, give it to me…there we go, you’re there, you’ve got it…”

His cheeks practically hollow when he delivers one last powerful suck to your clit, and you cry out, body wracking with tremors and fingers locking in his hair. Harry kneads your breast gently, his thumb flicking against your nipple as you ride out your orgasm. Your thighs quiver around his head and haphazard whimpers fall from your lips, piercing the air as he watches in silent awe.

He doesn’t know how long it lasts, too caught up in watching the way your lips pull back over your teeth and how your brow forms that small crinkle that he loves so much. Eventually, your dry sobs die down, and you’re left spent and breathless, sprawled across the sofa. Your grip in his hair loosens and your hands fall to your sides, completely limp. In fact, your entire body has gone lax; the sight makes Harry smile with a smug kind of satisfaction.

“Oh, you did it, love,” he whispers, kissing your hip encouragingly. “You did it, I’m so proud…”

“Harry,” you mewl, “Harry, I need…need you, please—”

You lift your arms slightly before whining and letting them drop back down, lacking enough energy to properly convey your desire. Harry, however, understands perfectly. His lips part in surprise before he’s scrambling up and splaying himself out on top of you. He clings to you tightly, gently turning you over so that you’re both laying on your sides. You whimper, fingers flexing as you try to make grabby hands at him, and he hugs you, his lips pressed firmly against your forehead.

“Just need me close?” he mumbles, and you sigh quietly, rewarding him with a faint nod of your head.

You grip the material of his sweater in your fist, realizing something. “You never…never took this off.”

Harry chuckles, inhaling the sweet smell of your shampoo. “Do you want me to?”

“No,” you murmur, “S’okay. You’re…warm.”

He chuckles again, shifting slightly; you hiss when the fabric of his shorts brushes against your still-sensitive core. “Sorry, sorry,” he sputters, gritting his teeth at his mistake, “Christ, you came hard, didn’t you?”

“Mhm,” is all you say. You press your forehead against his collarbone, fingers dancing up and down his covered chest. Harry’s still as you explore his body, but he wheezes in pain when your thigh accidentally nudges the full, plump erection that is still trapped beneath his shorts. Your mouth pops open in surprise—you’d completely forgotten.

“Shit,” you whisper, “I’m so sorry. Do you want me to—?”

“No,” he cuts you off firmly, “No, I…you’re tired, love.”

“But I can—my hand?”

“No,” he says again, but there’s a faint smirk adorning his lips—he’s endeared by you and how you still want to get him off despite not being able to keep your eyes open. “Later,” he adds as an afterthought, because he knows that once you’ve started, you’re nearly insatiable, “We can do it later.”

He kisses your mouth softly, and without thinking, you part your lips and open up for him. It’s quite one-sided, seeing how you’re still drained, but he hums happily nonetheless, cupping your face in his hand and stroking along your cheek.

“Love you,” you breathe when he pulls back.

He smiles. “Love you more.”

He presses a series of smaller, teasing kisses to your lips—you giggle—before pausing. “And for the record,” he muses, his eyes sparkling with mischief, “I’d pick eating you over eating a fuckin’ kiwi any day.”

~*~

if you enjoyed this piece, please consider donating to my ko-fi! thank you bunches <3

[survivorhephaestus]

EPISODE 02: Hmm, Okay, Sounds Weird But Okay

For the castaways’ second immunity challenge, a glitch in the system took down their Deep Space Survival Procedures and Protocol Manual, also known as the Rules page. Their task was to reconstruct it as best they could, which shouldn’t have been hard since they all definitely read those rules thoroughly before beginning the game, right? 

Hmm, perhaps not. They both did a decent job reconstructing, though. Within the first two hours of the challenge, Lovelace found a loophole and used the Rules from one of Ari’s other games as a template to work from. Even with that, Minkowski was a fierce contender - maybe they actually did read the rules - and the teams tied. Ultimately it was Lovelace’s early submission time that secured them a second win.

At Minkowski’s second Space Council, Jay was voted out 6 - 1 and went to join Karen inside the star. The DSSPPM was restored, and the anarchy of this round was laid to rest.

RICHIE

i got my way and karen just left :) noah fence karen you just were the only person on the team i wasnt aligned with bc i needed someone to vote out if we lost im sure youre great!!!!!! i'm not aligned with everyone left which isn't good bc if we lose then i'm fucked lmao... the person i'm least aligned with is probably Pat??? which is interesting bc stevie and jay didn't vote with me.... i really wanted to vote with them but they wanted to vote for jakey and he's one of my closest allies at this point.... i should have just straight up told stevie and jay that i had the votes to get out karen that way there would be more team unity and if we lose again jakey wouldnt be so for voting one of them out and i could point the finger to Pat for the least amount of blood on my hands but I know stevie and karen are friends and i didn't want to be so obvious about the fact that i know the votes were there for karen bc im the one who got them all lmao we really need to win this and then hopefully a team swap happens bc if we go back to space council with this group i'm fucked i have too many allies this is wild

JAKEY

hello!! so basically today was SPACE COUNCIL DAY!!!! so we have some content ladies, saddle up! 

so coming into council i've only spoken with richie and pat one on one lol which is clearly NOT GREAT so i had to get to #werk. richie informs me at 7:10 that miss karen wanted either me or richie to leave. 

now clearly since i'm me and richie is one of the two people that have built a relationship with me im like hell no!!!! so at this point it's clear karen is the person i was gonna target since she came for me yknow 

so RENEE messages me today and we get to talking a little bit and we immediately have a GREAT bond. i get good vibes from her and i was so happy to find someone i could potentially work with closely in this game! 

so she rly wants to keep me and she hasn't talked to karen, so i knew i could get her vote from there. so then it was mostly talking to pat and what i've gathered from pat is he's very secretive and sketchy... like this vote he wasn't saying much which i know he was busy and everything but he was telling richie like he wont be around so he might not be able to vote or something and it was ????? also he's apparently close with JOSH because i havent spoken once to josh and pat was like "ok josh will vote with us" and i was like hmmm okay sounds weird but okay. 

so yeah it ended up being me/richie/renee/pat/josh for karena n karen/stevie/jay  voting for me. im all fine for this outcome especially since i got to have my sandra-esque "AND THE QUEEN STAYS QUEEN" moment... i was LIVING... but im so worried pat/josh will turn on me in the next vote!!! i don't trust them at all and maybe it's time to start trying to built relationships with stevie and jay since maybe they feel on the outs after this vote. 

at this point i know im going to be an ONGOING target on this team so the quicker we swap, the BETTER (i also want to reunite w some cuties on the other team) 

LOGAN

i just realized there were confessionals but honestly i've been sleeping this whole game and don't really talk to anyone lol #socialgame

PATRICK

Welp, that was a shit show.

A bit of context: I hated both options that came up. I tried subtly dropping Renee once or twice, but it was clear that wasn't gaining traction. My next preference would have been Jay, probably. That wasn't happening, either. People seemed locked on Jakey and Karen, which irked me and still kinda does. But since I was out I didn't really have much ability to make anything happen.

So, why take out Karen over Jakey? It gets complex. At the core of it, in a vacuum, I feel Karen would have been more loyal to me than Jakey likely will be down the road. But the issue comes in who I would have been throwing my hat in with if I'd gone with Karen. Those three votes were Jay, Stevie and Karen herself. I'd have made it four, and I presume Josh and I were always voting in lockstep. Either that, or rocks on the first vote which yikes.

Plain and simple, I don't like that group as a means to reach the end. I think me/Josh/Jakey/Renee/Richie will be a much more effective group. I wish Karen had talked to more people, because adding her to this group would've been great.

Also, Josh stated a preference to voting out Karen over Jakey. I really want to keep Josh feeling like he can trust me 100%. I always do better in these games when I have an unquestioned #1 ally. So I let him feel – rightfully – that if his preference was Karen, we'd do Karen. It helped that I was leaning that way, myself, for the reasons above.

Also, Jakey's pretty fun. A bit abrasive sometimes for my taste, but I'm not mad at all about working with him. He'll be a good ally, I think.

Ah well, onward and upward. RIP, Moose Alliance.

RICHIE

so we lost and now i'm fucked bc no matter who i vote for tonight i'm going to be backstabbing someone since i'm a dumbass lmao

me stevie and jay aren't an official alliance but we have talked about working together jakey has told me i'm his #1 and we have gotten close josh and renee are 2 of my favorite people who i just won't vote out rn

and pat and i really connected at the beginning of the game but i've kinda stopped the breaks on that relationship bc i needed someone with no connection with in case we went to council but it looks like it's impossible for me to put the vote on pat tonight which sucks for my game bc im going to be pissing off someone just who's it going to be??? idk bc we're less than 2 hours from council and no one is around!!!!!!

i love jay and i wanted to work with him but the last vote really fractured the team and choosing to go with the minority with a possible team swap coming just isn't the best idea???? i'm trying to do damage control with stevie 15 minutes before the vote so that if this all goes down as planned then i still have room to work with him hopefully

KARTER

I can't trust anyone? Or can I? I can't tell! I just want us all to be friends.