#who knew that helping people + getting healthy + cutting out bad influences would cure your mental health fr 🥹

[bittermedecine]

Part A - Historical Context of their Growing up

           There’s a long history of mental health stigma since the beginning of time. People who were mentally ill were shunned and were outcasts to society. Why were mentally ill people shunned in the time of the 1970’s? Well, back before the 19thcentury, mentally ill people were viewed as lunatics. It didn’t help when a famous American sociologist, Erwin Goffman, started a mental health stigma stating, “There is no country, society or culture where people with mental illness have the same societal value as people without a mental illness” (Rössler, W. 2016. p.1250).  This was one of the many reasons why stigma started. It didn’t help that society in the past, before the 1970s, Mentally ill people were thrown into jail or shunned because of their mental health and because they were different than others who don’t have mental illness. It was hard for society to view mental illness in a non-judgemental way because people were scared of how their behaviour, especially those living with schizophrenia. This was a new dilemma, mental illness being a mystery and a disorder no one knew how to cure.

           With the coming of a new disorder, it would come with stereotypes in the stigma. It was alright if people had experienced depression because depression didn’t have a bad reputation compared to schizophrenia or any other known mental illness. The mental illness schizophrenia has a bad reputation even to this present day. But why is that? Besides the media shedding negative light on mental illness, it is because the symptoms often lead to odd behavior, and it is unpredictable how the individual with schizophrenia may act. Some examples are when individuals with schizophrenia hear voices or they exhibit violent behaviour, which can scare people. In addition, for some reason, the social distance between people who have schizophrenia and society  has increased in the 21stCentury compared to the past. There are no clear answers for why this is happening and it’s a shame to shun someone who had no choice in having this mental illness. A survey was taken for people’s opinion on people with schizophrenia, “about ¾ of the population have a negative attitude towards drug dependency and about 2/3 towards alcohol dependency and schizophrenia, whereas depression finds more sympathy, presumably because more people are familiar with it” (Rössler, W. 2016. p.1251).  

           Along with this comes with the stigma from the community, health professionals and individuals who struggle with schizophrenia. Even though health professionals are supposed to stay neutral with different health cases for different patients, health professionals have stronger negative ethics in relation to people with mental illnesses compared to the mentally healthy population. “Nordt et al interviewed mental health professionals and members of the public about their attitudes towards persons with or without psychiatric symptoms, such as depression or schizophrenia. All interviewed persons showed less desire for social contact with [these people].” (Rössler, W. 2016. p.1251). With more research, it supports that psychiatrists have a strong stigma against schizophrenia. There is so much more supporting evidence of this that no wonder in “Bitter Medicine”, people dismissed Olivier Martini for his schizophrenia. No matter how well Olivier behaved, because of his mental illness, it defined him as a person. It didn’t help with all the stereotypes and quick judgement of schizophrenia that it influenced how people would talk about or judge Olivier. The problem of the stigma was already too big at that point in 1970’s and the people in the past weren’t as open minded about metal illness compared to now.

           A point I’d like to touch on is besides the stigma revolving around the community and medical field, there was self-stigma and family stigma. These were other issues that only people with mental health would experience. When it came to family stigma, it was normal for what the Martini family was going through. It was normal for how the Martini was taking the whole diagnosis and their process of coping with Ben and Olivier’s schizophrenia. It couldn’t be helped that they were feeling guilty for what Olivier and Ben went through.

          Furthermore, there was self-stigma. Self-stigma is when the individual with the mental illness bottles their feelings about the stigma on the mental illness inside. They may have lower self-esteem or lose faith in themselves just like Olivier feels in the book, “Bitter Medicine.” People who experience self-stigma can even have an episode before they are diagnosed. It was a similar experience to Olivier when he was experiencing a few symptoms of schizophrenia. His transition from experiencing the symptoms to being diagnosed is a part of the episode. It is normal for Olivier to feel depressed or even deny the mental illness.

           The issue with mental illness doesn’t get any better compared to the long history of how medical professionals dealt with mentally ill people or how people perceived mentally ill people.  It was trial and error before the 19thcentury. Health professionals didn’t know how to deal with mentally ill people so the old procedures were to cure these people with shock therapy or ice baths for patients until they passed out. There were even blood practices in hopes that it would drain the mental illness out of the person. All these procedures led to many deaths and no one knew how to heal mentally ill people. Asylums were then created for the purpose of mentally ill people. Once asylums were created, some stigma was lifted off of the mentally ill people because there was some hope and places for the patients to stay. That being said, the stigma was still a big problem regardless if there was some hope.

         Eventually surgery became an option to rid of the mental illness that ailed the patients. It was the start of lobotomy. Lobotomy is a type of a surgery when a surgeon creates a cut in the prefrontal cortex or in easier terms, the front of the brain. Then the surgeon would cut the connections in the front of the brain in hopes of taking away the mental illness patients struggled with. When lobotomy seemed to work, it was a popular procedure although quite time consuming until they created a quicker solution called trans-orbital lobotomy. It was a faster version of lobotomy that involved a device like a pencil into the patient’s eye and tapping lightly with a hammer to similarly cut the connection of the front of the brain. This was the darkest method of curing mental illness because although this method was popular too, it wasn’t guaranteed the patient would survive (Leupo, K. (2013). Most patients who did this procedure either died, or needed lifelong care from the doctor because of this dangerous procedure. Many people went through with the quicker solutions and numerous people didn’t survive the procedure. This is one of the worst procedures in curing mental illness in mental illness history.

Doctors and medical professionals didn’t know the right solution still until drug therapy broke through. Considering the history of these past treatments, people in the health field created new anti-psychotic drugs like Thorazine and more. They had created drugs before in the past to try and help patients cope with their mental illness but this time, they got better. Things were looking up for patients because it was working a lot better compared to the other treatments. Prior to drug therapy breaking through, there were overcrowding in numerous asylums all over the country. Overcrowding occurred since there were many mentally ill people and there was still no solution at the time for resolving the mental state of these patients. Finally, they came with the breakthrough of drug therapy that was better than ever.

Due to drug therapy really helping, asylums weren’t needed as much nor mental hospitals. The decline of patients was needed in hospitals or psychiatric wards. This is where Olivier’s issue comes into play. From the breakthrough of drug therapy, the government’s budget on mental hospitals or psychiatric wards weren’t needed as much. Therefore, it made sense why there wasn’t as many available places for patients like Olivier Martini. The budget cuts of mental hospitals and more made it hard for Olivier’s mental illness to be cared for. From the lack of budget to no mental hospitals made patients very limited into what they could get help for. Patients including Olivier had limited resources and places they could stay. The space that was limited in hospitals for individuals like Olivier and on top of the stigma with health professionals as mentioned prior, this was a tough time period for mentally ill people.

Overall, Olivier and Clem’s mental health journey was hard considering the circumstances. The stigma that lingered from the past that carried onto the 1970’s, people still feared mental illness especially schizophrenia due to its bad reputation. On top of the bad reputation, society didn’t accept mental illness to well and health professionals had a worse opinion of mentally ill, especially individuals with schizophrenia. What didn’t help either was how mental illness was being treated because no one knew how to cure it in the first place. To conclude, this was a hard period in time for mentally ill people like Olivier and were quite limited in resources for medical attention for people who struggled with mental illness.

Link to Sources:

Frankenburg, F. (1982, March 12). The 1978 Ontario Mental Health Act in Historical Context. HSTC Bulletin, 6(3), 172 – 177.

Retrieved from doi:10.7202/800144ar

Leupo, K. (2013). The History of Mental Illness. Kathi’s Mental Health Review

Retrieved from http://toddlertime.com/advocacy/hospitals/Asylum/history-asylum.htm

Rössler, W. (2016). The stigma of mental disorders: A millennia‐long history of social exclusion and prejudices. EMBO Reports, 17(9), 1250–1253. http://doi.org/10.15252/embr.201643041

[matthewshaley1996]

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[londonqueeneva]

Drugs and meaningless life in London or how I became a junkie

Emptiness is lack of meaning in anything in life, lack of purpose. It is unexplained as those of us who are healthy, wealthy or just have a 'good' life still feel it. At some points in our lives we feel it very intense and others we do not even notice it but it is still there. Events in our lives can intensify the feeling or help to reduce the strength of it. So it does have some relation with hat happens in our lives but it is something that comes from inside of us. I know that because sometimes you feel it and eating your favourite ice cream or buying something you love still does not influence this and give us THE happiness.

This leads to both active, painful thoughts and emotions and a passive lack for motivation to live. This becomes unbearable as everyday tasks like going to school or work, taking a shower etc all become very difficult to do since we see no real purpose and meaning in any of it because we have no direction. We are not sure what we should do with our lives and why living a 'good' life does not make us feel satisfied. Could it be a traumatic past or biological imperfection handed down from previous generation? Then some of us having these 'problems'  will look at different escapes, or ways to numb the feeling .We are going to discuss common escapes I encountered including drugs which are part of 'London culture'.

My inspiration for this analytical text is fuelled by experiences from drugs I took at a rave last night. As I  am writing now I am still drugged, unable to sleep in my bed. I have been struggling through most of  my life with my feelings. To me now it is important to identify what exactly I am feeling and why I feel it. This is very difficult and progress is slow. I believe my experiences are common and some might find them useful. Most psychologists, counsellors and psychiatrists offer help with the things on the surface like self-harming, anorexia, bipolar but all these issues seem to have same/similar roots which are rarely dealt with.

My first knowledge and opinion on drugs was of course from home and family. It was successful to make us scared from drugs and drug addicts and was often used to scare us from staying out late.This changed. When I was 12 and going through very difficult time I was looking for something to help me deal with the pain. My father is a pharmacist and he often makes jokes that he sells drugs. I do not remember where I had the idea from but I looked through his 'stock' of medication that was located in my room to search for something to make me feel better. I googled the names of the different tablets and found exactly what I needed. I found Xanax which is benzo type drug used to cure depression which recently I found that is also popular on the street and used as recreational drug. I began taking it and had an accident where I overdosed, panicked, cried and shouted, had irrational thoughts that took over my mind. In this agony and unexplained self-hate I was cutting my arms with a kitchen knife and I had an intense desire to die. I was home alone but then father and step-mum came back and started praying, thinking I was possessed. Xanax was taken away from me, later I found some similar tablets and took them but I had no major accidents.

A year after that I became very religious and thought I was a new person. I started going to Church and felt some hope. Religious people say that this feeling of emptiness is common among non-believers but once you believe in God you will feel complete and happy. I am a former Evangelist Christian I can say that it can help you get through things in life because it is very comforting idea. People also use it as escapism and has negative outcomes like extremism. Religion does not work for me any more, though I still believe in God. A person who is seeking 'the truth' by actively evaluating life and reading would be intelligent enough to see that this man-made purpose and meaning of life religion offers is very limited and simplified. There are some great ideas in religious literature and people can find some of 'the truth' in there but it is not complete and a big part of the texts are rubbish. Religious people and their institutions have twisted many of the ideas by designing them to fit their needs, most people who turn to religion are there to deal with their problems. They are old or have health issues, addiction, loneliness. Some religious people become so engrained in their religious life that they rarely read other literature or communicate with none-believers so they become out-of-touch with reality. This soothes them because religion offers them comfort in their self-made utopia with all-powerful God who is guiding them and preserving them from the hostile world. This God not only helps them on Earth but promises a reward in the afterlife that will compensate for their suffering and bring justice and equality to the unjust and unequal world. So it is another form of escapism, I think just as dangerous as other forms as this can lead to people loosing their sound mind. I believe in God but I do not think he is a Christian, Muslim, etc. This is evident from the history of violence, hate and extremism that are relevant globally even today. I would expect from people who know 'the truth' about the purpose and meaning of life to be happy, peaceful and loving towards others.

It had been a year since I was religious and then I left the country and my Church at age 13 I migrated to London where my mother lives and here I smoked my first joint. When I came to London my life took another direction. I spent most of my free time outside on the streets of south London (actually mostly Sutton) that have drugs, criminal immigrants, homeless people and poverty. That is of course not the only things Sutton has to offer you but this was the Sutton I knew.

I did not manage to fit in with the rest of the students at my school here as I was freshly arrived from a different country, we had a language barrier and no common interests. This is because of our distant cultures and also because I grew quicker than them at the time. Therefore I did not have close friends and was mostly isolated, however this helped me focus on studying and get good grades. That was my first form of escapism when I arrived here after previously turning to religion. I was reading and studying both for school and for pleasure and my interests were mostly academic. This continued for a while until I realised how lonely I was as I do not have a supportive family or friends to turn to.

I have a broken, reconstituted family where both biological parents are pre-occupied with their lives. I did not feel like a priority to them but felt like a reminder of their unsuccessful marriage. They both went on to create new families and they were busy working on their new families. I was the left overs from their unhappy marriage that reminded them of their mistakes and they would often associate me negatively with the other parent. For example I do something bad or something they are not happy with and they would say I am resembling the other parent. When I was younger and living in my home country I compensated this lack of family support through very close friendships but I could not find those friendships after coming to London so after a while I became desperate for social interaction.

Making friends in London is difficult because of the fast-phased lifestyle and scale of the city. The large size means that there are long distances to travel if your friends live far which is also time consuming and people here do not have much spare time. The constant movement of the city is also not helping, people change their location and job frequently so the friends that live close to you now might not be there after time. In my first year here I changed five accommodations. I am now at the same one for three years and I will move again in September. So this is common for Londoners but I did not have close friends at school and then coming home where I also felt lonely I began to go out more.

I was a young girl hanging out with older men and even homeless people. Many of them came and left. I ditched some friendships, then created new ones and again. So I met many people but the only sample of people that were interested in me were mostly older, poor, males. They were mostly migrants from ex-Soviet countries, attracted by my looks or just wanted to have a young companion that shared their culture. Since my circle was male and I had a large sample of men around, it was difficult to avoid the naturally developing emotional and physical interest between me and some of the individuals I have met so some of the friendships turned into something else. I have learned a lot from their experiences including drugs. I became exposed to their world which was different from mine, being a school girl.  Most people will be disgusted by that but most of the people I came across were good and did not take advantage of me. It is surprising but I had more things in common with them than girls my age at my school. We discussed interesting topics like politics and history, had conversations about life and made dirty jokes. They could offer me more mature conversations than my classmates most of which were misbehaved, childish and often ignorant about the world around them and the things it has to offer them.

London is a lonely place and this is especially true for migrants who are marginalised into poor areas and spend most of their time working on a meaningless job for little money that are mainly spent on rent. To them this lifestyle is monotonic and they spend their leisure time drinking beer, smoking weed and sometimes taking other substances. We were all lonely and looked out for connections and friendships that could give us a sense of meaning. Sometimes it felt like they were the replacement for my broken, non-functioning family. I  was supported, guided and looked after. This was what a girl my age needed, I thought this was a good alternative to family.

My contacts made drugs available to me. I tried different drugs with different people at different places. I did not plan to take drugs but  I had opportunities and used them so it all happened by 'chance'. Still to this day I have never went out to buy drugs for myself, whenever I did drugs it was given to me. Most of the time it was in the park as I did not have 18 and pubs have security in the evening so we had to get there before the security. If you are under 18 and do not want to stay at home late in the evening or night there are not many places to go so we often sat outside and hanged on the streets. Sometimes we did more fun things like going pub, cinema, house gatherings, raves or even just at my favourite ice cream place where we took drugs too.

This is where my life as a school girl and the lifestyle and leisure of adult men collided into one,  bonded by the shared culture, foreign identity, isolation and loneliness. I had a double identity where at school I was quiet, well-behaved, modest and studious with a little circle of people to sit around with. Outside of school, I had different identity. There I was the complete opposite, dressing different, flirting and having sex. At this point drugs did not look scary, it was not as addictive as my grandmother and teachers described it and people used drugs to have fun and they still led a decent life without the drug affecting it. Having taken another look at narcotics from a more real perspective and my own experience, my views about drugs were challenged. In the space of about a year I knew what it felt like to be on some of the most widely used drugs. Suddenly I entered 'that' world that people were afraid of and looked down on, I became what my grandma was trying to scare me with. No, I am not a drug addict and I hope I wont become one but I am a junkie. I have briefly explained how and why I encountered drugs in my life so I have compromised on a lot of key details.

Those are my experiences of life in London and drugs but London is big and its citizens are diverse, some poor some rich, we look different, come from different places and have different lifestyles. So we all have a different perspective on London. However there is one thing Londoners seem to share and this is their miserable faces in the morning at the public transport-  professionals and businessman or labourers and painters they all have grumpy faces with zombie eyes from lack of sleep. My impression is that most of us feel what I have described, lack of meaning and purpose in their lives, for how can someone be happy and also spending most of their time working at a job they do not like. How do we professionals of London find purpose in what we do and purpose in our lives if we do not enjoy the lives we are living? People turn to escapes like pubs which are the most popular leisure activity around here, it offers them opportunity to connect with others while  enjoying the primitive pleasure of intoxicating themselves. This could be because they are trying to numb the sense of meaningless which is with them Monday to Friday. It is also very common to see mature individuals, loose control over themselves after getting intoxicated. For example Fridays and Saturdays always finish with pub/club fight, fat girls rolling on the floor in their mini dresses without shoes and lots of police going around to tame them, it is part of British culture. I am off the topic but I think this proves that people have serious issues whose underlying causes are lack of purpose and meaning. We may have different lives and jobs but we have the same feelings and we all turn to some forms of escapes.

Drinking and taking drugs are almost the same since harmful substances are used to lift a person's mood for a short period to offer them a temporary escape from their daily life at the expense of their health. This can turn into dependency and addiction. Drugs are very popular in here for example within the radius of 15 minute walk in Sutton we had about 20 dealers to buy weed from.

At certain periods of my life especially when I have difficulties I can get very low and loose all motivation to live. But motivation comes when you have goals you work towards. Then you have some sense of purpose in life. So far my goals have been academic and I am achieving them so far. It felt good but this type of goals like academic or financial success give you no sense of belonging and connecting with people. This is also crucial because we get a sense of meaning through the relations we create. This is what I learned so far however this means that the meaning of  life is designed by the individual himself and that the meaning of his life becomes the goals he set for himself to achieve before his death. I am not completely satisfied with this idea.

Society tells us what is highly valued and what we should achieve to appear successful to those around us so we feel appreciated. Society's values are good looks, profession which earns good money and family life. People strive for these and these are good goals but some people are not satisfied with their life even after achieving them and leading a life socially regarded as 'good'. Economic status has little to do with happiness. Also it seems absurd that you spend all your life working and studying, generally unpleasant tasks to then enjoy a good standard lifestyle in the little spare time you have.

Lately I was again at my low points when I did not feel that I belong somewhere and that I had no meaningful relations of any kind, I have no purpose and direction, academic goals and financial success is not a significant enough purpose of life. I started to go out more with friends to distract myself and avoid feeling lonely. For a long time nothing could make me genuinely happy. I felt empty and clueless because my life technically is not that bad but I was missing something that made me feel incomplete.So at this desperate moments of my life, where I felt little enjoyment in being alive my escape was to go out with friends. Those friends do drugs so of course I do it with them when we are out together.

I went to a rave last night and I focused on my feelings and tried to remember what I felt because it felt special. I used ecstasy pill, meth, amphetamines, weed, alcohol. None of these are new to me,  familiar companions. However there was something special because I felt good for first time in a while, and not just good but amazing. Drugs are the best feeling known to humankind. This feelings I felt gave me hope that life wont always be bad and there will be positive emotions like this one and is worth the suffering. The most impressive effect of the drug is that it ERASES the EMPTINESS. You feel COMPLETE and satisfied. There is unlimited happiness you feel, like the happiness has no end. Unlimited love for everyone and everything that fills you inside and you feel that you cannot stop smiling. I did not receive any purpose of life but this was not important, I just felt and this was enough because I felt healthy, alive and very happy to be alive. There was peace in my mind and no tension in my heart from stressing, neither the exhaustion and demotivation I get when I am depressed. My thoughts were clear and I noticed everything and felt everything, before the drug my thinking was cloudy and head heavy and I had difficulty concentrating. So drugs can successfully deal with such feelings and bring back motivation to live but this is only temporary and it has a high price and could destroy your life if used as a treatment. I wished this feeling would never end. The effect of the drug is almost completely gone now, and reality is slowly returning. I am back to living this life and I must find strength to continue living it.

[mrjohnhthompson]

How Emotional Are You About Money?

"Do you know exactly how much money you have?" I asked. "No," Mike replied. "Why don't I help you calculate that?" I asked. "It'll help you know exactly how much assets you have." "But I don't want to find out. I'm afraid. I don't want to think I have a lot of money and then start making stupid decisions." This was a conversation from late last year. My friend used the word "afraid" to describe his relationship with money, but his facial expressions and body language suggested he was more terrified. Mind you, this wasn't some 23-year-old fresh graduate. This was someone who's (by my estimates) a closet millionaire. I was stunned. Not only because I realised how most people (even smart, rich ones) attach emotions to money, but also because I realised I do it too. But why do we attach emotions to money? And are those emotions actually hurting us?

What’s your history with money?

Looking back at my history with money, I'm ashamed to say that I never understood it till my mid-twenties. Of course, I knew the math and the practical uses of money. I knew how much things cost, and how to pay for them. What I never fully understood was this: where does money come from and what does it really represent? I suspect most people are the same. We see the practical uses of money, but because no one ever formally taught us personal finance -- money takes an almost mythical form in our minds. Like when we look at a 50 ringgit note. Do we see it as a magic pill to solve all our problems ("Hey I need to get more of these notes! Then I can pay off all my debts and buy even more stuff!") or for what it really is: A piece of paper that only holds value because the government says so, and because everyone else believes in it. If everyone just decides to stop accepting the RM50 note tomorrow, it would become worthless. The problem isn't with the pieces of paper, value or the government. But my fear is when people don't understand something like money, we start to attach all sorts of irrational beliefs to it. Here's another example: let's say your father lost a lot of money in the 1997 Asian Financial Crisis (when you were growing up) and told you, "Don't ever play the stock market -- it's gambling, you'll lose, and won't have enough food to eat." You might develop a fear of investing. But is investing in the stock market gambling? Not necessarily, depending on how you do it. Will you lose? Sometimes, but there are ways to evaluate risk and cut losses. Will you starve? No -- if you manage your money well. Because if you don't understand money, then you can't fully optimise it.

What are your feelings about money?

Here are some common feelings I've seen people have about money, that aren't good for you: [block type="warning" title="Lust"]Commonly seen in money-addicts; lust for money can make you do things you normally wouldn't do. As the saying goes, "The love of money is the root of all evil."[/block] [block type="warning" title="Fear"]Commonly seen in poor people: "I'm not going to be like one of those evil money-minded people. I just want enough, and not let money corrupt me." [/block] [block type="warning" title="Shame"]Seen in both high-income earners and low-income earners: "I feel inadequate. But if I could just make more money, I could be a better husband/wife/father/mother/son/daughter..." [/block] [block type="warning" title="Anger"]"The government sucks and my bosses suck. The cost of living is going up, and I can't afford nice things anymore. It's not fair!" [/block] [block type="warning" title="Jealousy"]"See that guy driving his BMW? I bet he's a corrupt businessman with rich parents. How else could he be so rich at this age?" [/block] Because here's my theory: the better you are at isolating emotions from money, the better you become at managing it. Like how emotionless computers can beat humans at Chess and Go now, and how your hustler cousin won all your ang pow money during Chinese New Year poker -- we could make better money choices if we’re less emotional about money. But of course -- you and I are not machines. And let's be honest -- none of us can fully control our emotions. I don't think anyone can help themselves from feeling devastated if they don't have enough money to feed their children. On the flip side, I don't think anyone can not be ecstatic if someonek suddenly awards them a brand-new home. But we can all take the first step by being more aware of how we feel about money. And if there are unhealthy feelings there -- we can start by changing our behaviour.

What’s your future with money?

You can't control your emotions, but you can control your actions. And you can change your beliefs. All these will eventually influence your emotions. Here are five beliefs and actions to counter the negative emotions most people have about money: 1. Be content You will never be able to make enough money to satisfy lust. The more you have, the more you will want. Would it be better to be content with what you have? (This doesn't mean you don't try to improve your finances. It means you draw the line between healthy ambition and destructive greed.) [block type="success" title="Suggested action:"]Create a detailed breakdown of how much money you really need. Everything else beyond that is a want.[/block] 2. Money is a neutral tool If you think money is evil -- you will never accumulate wealth (unless of course, you view yourself as an evil person). You will lead a life with poor money habits because of your poor beliefs. It is much better to view money as a neutral, yet powerful tool. [block type="success" title="Suggested action:"]Consider all the good things that your money can do in this world (e.g. helping to feed the poor or cure cancer?)[/block] 3. Self-esteem does not come from riches How you feel about yourself should not be dependent on how much money you make or how much you have in the bank. As a person, you have inherent value, worth and dignity. [block type="success" title="Suggested action:"]Surround yourself with people who will love you no matter how much money you have. If you're not sure they'll love you, talk to them and find out.[/block] 4. Be responsible Life sometimes throws us sucky situations -- like corrupt politicians and increasing petrol prices. But all of us can do things to respond to bad events. We are not powerless -- we can create change. [block type="success" title="Suggested action:"]If you're angry about something -- stop complaining. Start doing something to help solve the problem.[/block] 5.  Be happy for others (Compersion) Jealousy is a useless emotion. It only creates a wall between yourself and the person you're jealous of. And if you're jealous of someone's money -- it creates a wall between you and that money too. Better to stay positive. [block type="success" title="Suggested action:"]Whenever you're feeling jealous, practise gratitude. List down blessings that you're grateful for in your own life. Even better, try to get to know the person you're jealous of better. You might learn something from them.[/block]

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No one will ever be completely free of emotions when it comes to money. But changing our beliefs and behaviour can help us manage those emotions better. And it can help us make rational decisions that will be good for you and your money. After all, when it comes to money, you should really be happy. [block]Aaron Tang is the founder of mr-stingy.com. He writes about optimising time, money, and relationships – to make the most out of life.[/block]

Image from US News

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