Will you be updating either of your fics soon? I am soooo excited for them!!!!
I'll be honest with you anon. It'd be a Christmas miracle for me to post any of my fics anytime soon.
I am just way too busy and have no time to do any actual writing! I want to but I literally just don't have the time.
I'm working hard on a project assignment because I want to do well in my art course and submit something good. The deadline is in less than two weeks so I am drawing/painting constantly towards that.
On top of that I'm also doing multiple Secret Santa's and other general Christmas stuff (and just found out that the asshat family member has further screwed me over timewise so guess I won't be sleeping for the next two weeks!)
I really appreciate the support for my fics - but writing is something I do in my free time. And I just don't have any of that right now.
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it's the middle of the night and i can't sleep, i keep thinking about how apollo is somehow an older sibling, younger sibling, middle child, and an orphan all at the same time it's keeping me awake
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to those who claim that exy is the most important thing in neil’s life: you are wrong.
while i do agree that in the beginning on the foxhole court neil only cared about exy, his priorities change as the books go.
first of all, neil already chose andrew over exy once when they were barely anything to each other.
neil almost ran when riko murdered seth. who made him stay? andrew. not exy and a chance to play it as much as he can before he has to run again and face his inevitable death. it was andrew and his promise of a home and protection even though neil knew andrew couldn’t protect him from his father.
you seem to forget that neil went to EVERMORE just to get a chance to protect andrew, are you kidding me? he saw a chance to save andrew even though andrew never asked him for protection and took it, knowing damn well what riko can and will do to him. he literally told andrew he wouldn’t just let andrew deal with everything by himself if it means losing him.
and then again, after waymack tells him he wants neil to be vice captain next year, neil panics and runs. and then, in the middle of his panic attack, he subconsciously calls andrew and asks him to come and get him. HELLO??? my brain still cant register it actually happened.
he might not even realize it himself, but his focus from exy shifts to andrew (and yeah, the rest of the foxes) and it stays there. when he was with lola and saying goodbye to neil josten, he was thinking about the foxes and their smiles, then briefly throwing a line about exy balls. the literal last thing he does before saying goodbye is tracing the outline of a key into his injured palm. the same keys andrew have him. (i died several times at this part and cried my eyes out).
he could’ve gotten into witpro, live somewhere far away and play exy there, but he asks to stay. tells andrew that he will leave if andrew tells him to, but asks to stay with the foxes, with andrew, and be neil josten. and once again andrew tells him to stay and be neil abram josten when he asks if he really can be him.
and once he realizes his feeling for andrew? oh boy. neil might not understand how normal relationships work because he has never seen an example of one, but don’t tell me his single-track mind wouldn’t focus solely on andrew, pushing everything and everyone behind. he loves him dearly (fight me nora), was willing to get tortured by riko when there wasn’t anything between them, and you are telling him he wouldn’t choose him over exy when there’s this thing between them? the one andrew stopped denying? he abso fucking lutely would.
and don’t get me wrong, i don’t mean it in a way that he doesn’t care about exy anymore, he does obviously, his life literally depends on it, but if before it was exy, then andrew and the foxes, now it’s andrew. the foxes. exy.
also little thing i’ve been thinking about: neil was trying to fix the foxes’ relationships. he actually made andrew and aaron go to therapy together. in my opinion, so andrew would’ve had someone who isn’t scared of him and understands him once neil vanishes. BECAUSE NEIL WAS QUITE LITERALLY THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS EVER UNDERSTOOD ANDREW SO EFFORTLESSLY AND NEVER WAS SCARED OF HIM. it hurts so good.
he cares about andrew so much the thought of choosing exy over him wouldn’t even cross his mind. he would choose a weekend away with andrew in columbia over practice with kevin. after andrew graduates, neil would drop everything and flight out to andrew if he needs him.
i need to re-read the entire series to add more details into this because my brain knows i missed a lot of things. but even without remembering all of it, it’s clear that andrew is first for neil at everything, and i will fight anyone who disagrees.
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You know that turning point, usually at the end of a book, when you just can't stop reading because there was some big reveal/twist?
I officially just passed that point.
It is almost 10:30 pm.
I have to get up at 6:30 am tomorrow for work.
Welp, guess who's not gonna get their eight hours of sleep tonight.
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