#who's facing huge indecision rn

[valyrou]

Hii! Could I get a romantic match up for BSD?

About me

-she/her

- pan but would like a match up with one of the guys cuz I have hard time choosng the best match (+ no minors of course)

Likes/Hobbies:

▪︎writing&reading

▪︎astronomy, stargazing- special interest of mine since I was like 13

▪︎running&gym - a) u gotta stay healthy b) u gotta look good

▪︎sudoku, rummikub, puzzles - i'm old

▪︎history - huge on ancient Greece but also obsessed with my country's history, i'm always happy to share my knowledge about it with ppl

▪︎making plans/spreadsheets/list & organizing things in general (things in home, papers, even parties u name it i will do it)

▪︎cleaning- u don't understand how much i f**king love it good lord nothing better that a nice, deep cleaned house

▪︎cloudy and rainy weather

▪︎ cats

▪︎long walks especially at night

▪︎energy drinks- basically living of them

▪︎cooking/baking - pretty basic but i love making food for friends and loved ones

▪︎flower arranging- really random but who doesn't like a nice bouquet

▪︎music - Lana Del Rey, Mitski, Hozier, ABBA, TV Girl + playing violin

▪︎ cozy places with homey atmosphere

Dislikes

▪︎loud noises, intense smells, bright light, big gatherings of people, places with high humidity - i'm autistic so yeah

▪︎coffe - never grew to like it, don't think i ever will

▪︎childish & know-it-all & argumentative & reckless ppl

▪︎ dramas - let me just stay in the back and mind my buisness u don't have to get involved (as long as it doesn't involve someone i care about cuz if so then u better know that i'm stepping in)

▪︎ not keeping your words

▪︎ cheating

▪︎ snitching

MBTI: ISFJ

Personality traits (kind of):

▪︎loyal, dependable, caring, devoted

▪︎i have hard time making close friends so i get into one relationship at time and stick with them for ages (I'll help u get out of even the worst situations, if we're in it we're in it together there's literally not a thing i wouldn't do)

▪︎ acts like the coldest b*tch on the planet but is actually a softie

▪︎always ready to help, give an advice or gets u out of trouble (after spending 30min screaming at u for how dumb u're and telling u that there's no way i'm getting out of my house rn)

▪︎random punching as love language

▪︎either loud af and joking 25/8 or won't say a word for a week (same goes with texting), but generally much quieter and calmer in private

▪︎uses xD unironically

▪︎kind of a control freak + can get bossy and rigid at times

▪︎always doing like 5 things at a time cuz i won't let myself catch a break but will demand u to rest after a one task

▪︎stress cleaner - mopping floor at 2am is a weekly occurrence

▪︎indecisive- just tell me ehat to do and i'll get the job done don't leave picking options to me cuz i will just tell u that neither of them is optimal

▪︎ I have a habit of calling everyone sweetheart/sweetie/sugar/hun...

▪︎ I often see beauty in things that others might not notice and really enjoy the beauty of nature

Looks:

4'11☠

black mid-back straight hair that i always wear in a pony tail cuz i hate when it gets in my face blue eyes + glasses

i wear only black + lots of chains and heavy boots/platforms (i gotta add some hight u know)

Hope you're doing well, have a nice day!♡

-bandages girl

(yeah it's me again sorry to spam you inbox so much this week :// )

A/n: HII!!! Sorry for the wait! Also don’t worry if you spam my inbox, I’m always super happy to get requests and messages!!

I Hope you‘re doing well and enjoy who i matched you up with! <3

I‘ll match you up with….

EDGAR ALLAN POE

You two probably found each other because you have much in common!

You like puzzles? He‘ll write a story for you to solve, with the help of his gift!

Like an escape room date!

Gentle kisses on your bandages…?

Not necessarily a hugger, but if he hugs, he hugs you like he won’t see you again

Very gentle and patience

You will be his muse and inspiration for novels

Date night stargazing? Meteor showers together?? (Captures the moment in one of his novels for sure!)

Captures all his favorite moments with you together in his books

Forehead kisses frfr

Poe tends to overwork himself, so you telling him to take a break from time to time is nice

I mean you like cats.. a raccoon is close enough to a cat… right?

Karl will be your cat, don’t worry abt it

If you punch him lightly he will chuckle a bit, but be INCREDIBLY GIDDY

he is a goofy lover

He gets flustered easy, but sometimes can be a little dominant and has the balls to caress your cheek or Something

[amadeyus]

HI EVERYONE AND HELP: an announcement i’d like y’all to read it concerns y’all (to some extent i guess)

ok so i don’t have much time cause i travel tomorrow and i have a bunch of things to do (which i won’t ramble on but) FIRST THINGS FIRST

During my 3-day mania episode (and now spread to be a 5-day episode rip me), I thought of a lot of creation ideas (art and design, fandom and non-fandom alike)

[More long words ahead about my creation ideas and i want y’all to help me choose what i should work on next; with the exception of #6 and #7 bc those are guaranteed works i’ll work on first]

(This is a really long post ik but I’ve used the @ mention features a lot below and idk if it works under the cut so im sorry for the longass spam this is a once in a long while thing i promise)

AND bc i do not have the brainpower/energy to choose/think about these stuffs IMMA ASK YOU GUYS TO HELP ME CHOOSE which ones you want me to work on bc I love all of these ideas and are !!!! about these but honestly indecision is taking control of my brain pls send help. D: ok so to help me out (and i guess this is great for you cause you can vote to see the content you wANT)! anywho, pls help me decide (specify the number and if you can, the reason why you’d like to see it; it can be a short one sentence answer honestly idc i just want help rn):

A levihan fic-inspired work; the fic is canon-divergent where Levi dies and he’s given a funeral service bc of his efforts as Humanity’s Strongest and Hange goes up to give a speech (fic by Frances @daisybrien ); will use lyrics from Poet - Bastille

A work for Cosmic Love - Florence at the Machine lyrics for the levihans bc why not (but also partial credit to Sophie @drinkyourfuckingmilk bc i remember her mentioning it that it was a levihan song and i love both cosmic love and the levihans sooooo)

Still transparent edits for the lyrics from Stay With Me - You Me At Six for the yumikuris (my first non-levihan work idea :OOO) but also like if you remember, transparent edits are stuff like the Haunt edit I made for levihan spookfest and the All of Me poster I made for Manna @julystorms​

A gifset for Gio @themusicalbookworm 's amaze™ song called Stardust Veins about Yaoyoruzu Momo (im love her so much rn ajelddl;) - this one i have a lot of different ideas/possibilities for but I would go give Gio’s song a listen (especially if you’ve watched BNHA and or love Momo) bc honestly it was the first fanart-song I heard and honestly I don’t regret listening (i love it so much you have no idea dude)

A lyrics gifset feat. Laughter Lines - Bastille for the movie Coco (i wanted to make this for a long time and i kno i won’t be able to get to it for a while so pls if you’re reading this don’t steal my idea cause i know the film has been out for a while now)

[Urgent] Mikasa’s bday post with a hp quote - has duality themes/techniques/symbolisms if you’re interested but it’s a zekeret™ and i don’t want to give stuff away/ruin the surprise

[Urgent] Ymir’s bday post with Call of Silence lyrics and starry stuffs. I give partial credit to Gabby @sookashira who made a Ymir gifset/gfx where she said there was literally a Ymir constellation in the universe if i remember correctly so that’s partially inspired that idea (i can’t find it rn bc i’m tired but i do remember it my dude). And also partial credit to Daya @eren-s bc her latest Eren and Reiner edit of a recent manga chapter was cool and I found the way she did the dialogue pretty interesting and my idea for Ymir has dialogue sooooooo (i’m also lazy to find it bc limited brainpower sorry daya but i remember it and i talked to you about it)

A lyrics gifset/motion gfx for Shake it Out - Florence and the Machine Part 2; basically a continuation to Levi’s birthday post I made last year but with even more lyrics and cool stuffs™ (what i think is cool at least)

A lyrics gifset/motion gfx for Unstoppable - Sia feat. Hange’s moment where she shines and  dodged them MPs and is doing a bunch of cool stuff (have i mentioned how much im love her too)

ahhhhh soo this is really long and if you’ve made it to the end of this i truly commend you for your efforts (come i clap for you™). tbh this is not even all of the ideas i thought of you have no idea how inspired i was these 5 days. buT, i say again, i would really appreciate it if you could tell me which idea you like the best and want me to make (and if you’re feelin extra generous i would appreciate 1-2 sentences of reasoning re: why this idea over the others)

[i might rebagel once or twice more to get more exposure again but yeah that’s it]

and also fyi i am behind on replies and tag games and communication in general; im sorry my brainpower rip but i will get to it tomorrow after i land so it will ALL BE DAIJOUBU (hey @hushpiper look im sayin what you said earlier to me)

THANK YOU THAT IS ALL

[yikeswtfmate]

I’ll hold you to that

Summary: There’s a new message from a stranger in her DMs, but what does he want from her and why exactly is he so freaking cute?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (College AU)

Warnings: swearing; that should be it, I think?

A/N: This is the second fic in two days, who even am I? What am I even doing? What is happening?! My only excuse is that I’ve started this like 2 months ago and only now got round to finishing it so...enjoy?

This might need a second part though, I feel like I need some college dorkiness in my life rn

Also, do some text and ig messages count as making this a social media au? Probably not, since I was too lazy to do that format with the apps and all that?

masterlist // Watermelon Sugar - another part

Natasha is lying on her friend’s bed, furiously typing away at her phone. The chime of incoming messages is constant and it is starting to drive Y/N up the wall.

“You could do this in your room as well, you know.” Turning in her desk chair, ready to start going off on the redhead, Y/N is cut short by a long suffering sigh. “What’s wrong now?” She knows that if she ignores Nat now, she would only get more annoying, which in turn would leave her no chance of finishing studying for the night.

“I’m talking with the people in my group, trying to prepare for the mock trial next month and there’s this guy who is completely infuriating!” Nat spats and lets out another groan, as her fingers fly across the screen. “He says that we should stop defending the CFO and try and get a settlement because it’s obvious he actually did indeed commit fraud. How are we supposed to make a case and win when he’s completely disregarding everything we’ve studied this semester? Of course the prick committed fraud, but we still have to make the case for him, this is the fucking assignment, you pompous asshole.”

“Yeah, babe, I have no idea what you’re saying there, but go you! Down with Wall Street or whatever, but I still need to study for this management exam, so it would be great if you could kindly fuck off to your room?” Y/N smiles at Nat, who finally looks up at her and sighs.

“Fine. I’ll let you study for your stupid exam, but you still need to reply to that cute guy like you promised.”

“Remind me again, why am I supposed to do that?”

“Because you promised, you ass! And your sex life is shit so Wands and I reckon if you get laid, you’ll stop being so stuck up about school.” It’s Nat’s turn to smile sweetly at Y/N, who throws a pen at her retreating form.

“Why are you guys like this?!”

“We both have unresolved daddy issues, now get on with it or I’ll send Wanda in here.”

Y/N sighs heavily and slumps in her chair. She glances at her charging phone on the desk and tentatively picks it up. She unlocks it, a picture of her and her roommates popping up on the screen and the notification is still there. Still taunting her, still adding fuel to her friends’ pestering.

They have looked through his page, of course. They have looked at all the pictures with his friends, some of them recognisable from the halls of college, all the pictures of him in various cafes, restaurants, bars, gyms, but the picture she still comes back to is the one with him at the beach. Wayfarers perched on the bridge of his nose, ruffled hair in the wind, and that tan that stretches from the set shoulders to the prominent six pack (although the bottle of beer in his hand makes those abs so unfair to believe exist) to the firm thighs. She has looked through all of his pictures, analysing every detail and description, still wondering how in the hell she managed to catch his attention enough to grant her a message from him. And then she would go on her profile, filled with pictures from the dance studio, her coffee filled all-nighters in the library, and fair enough, there is that picture of her at the pool where her bum looks just right and she could get why in a sense, but what the hell, look at that guy!

Her fingers still hover over the notification indecisively, when the group chat pops up on her screen.

Wands: do it, bitch

Y/N: I was just getting myself ready!!!!

Wands: u’re a clown

Wands: JUST DO IT

Y/N: why must you attack me like this

Nat: I’m interrupting my fight with that idiot to send you this very important message

Nat: do it, bitch

Y/N: I hate you both

Y/N finally taps on the notification and there - in all its glory there is one simple message that has been giving her a headache since the previous night. Granted, she was a bit drunk on wine, and the shriek she let out when she saw the blinking notification made her toss her phone to the other side of the couch. Wanda picked it up and looked at it confused, while Natasha slumped on the couch in order to see over her shoulder. They both whistled at the same time, which was disturbing in and of itself, thinking how alike all of their mannerisms have become since they became roommates two years prior.

She takes a big breath that does nothing to relieve her nerves, and biting her lip, she finally opens the app to her messages.

JamesBBarnes: Hey

Huh. Funny how such a little greeting makes her tap her leg unconsciously to the point that their downstairs neighbours will be complaining at their door soon. She closes her eyes for a second, shakes her head and mutters a 'what the hell.'

Y/Nwhatthehell: Hi

Now that this obstacle is over, Y/N idly wonders what made her so flustered. He's just a guy who happened to send her a message after following her on Instagram. There's nothing weird about it, is it? They're both attending the same university, she's fairly sure one of his friends is actually the guy Natasha is currently fighting with on that project of theirs. Maybe he just wants to be friendly, maybe he needs some management information for one of his mock trials. Who even knows, so what is she so stressed about? With a huff, she throws her phone away, determined to finish the chapter opened in front of her and relax for the rest of the evening.

She's in the middle of writing the last note on employee engagement, when a ping from her bed startles her into dropping her pen. She turns cautiously, as if sudden movements would force Aragog crawling out of the device, but decides she's being stupid again so she stands up and nearly lunges on the sheets.

As confusion is written all over her face after reading the first line in the notifications bar, she opens the app and stares at the screen.

JamesBBarnes: Listen, I know this might sound weird, but could you ask your friend to stop fighting with Steve? I'm trying to study over here and he's been throwing stuff around since yesterday saying something about a redhead girl who's hijacking his trial just bc she wants to prove a point

She doesn't know what she was expecting, but it's definitely not this. Is that disappointment she feels for hyping herself up just so he can ask this type of nonsense of her? Maybe, but maybe she just feels a little silly for having thought this guy would hit on her on Instagram. She sighs and replies to him, now annoyed with herself more than anything.

Y/Nwhatthehell: why didn't you just send her a message?

JamesBBarnes: From what I've heard about this Natasha, you seemed like the more reasonable one

The reply is swift, and makes her smile. Nat can be a bit too much if not handled with care, especially when it comes to group work. However, Y/N now has what seems like a million questions, and she’s even more confused than a few minutes ago.

Y/Nwhatthehell: how did you even find my IG anyway?

JamesBBarnes: oh Steve has a huge crush on Natasha and we were all forced to go through her every single photo and hear about how amazing she is every single day since the beginning of the year

JamesBBarnes: but maybe don't tell her that 

JamesBBarnes: you know what, screw that. You can even show her that msg, the punk will never be man enough to tell her himself, might as well get my revenge for all the days I've been forced to listen to him go on and on abt her

She takes a second to read the messages again, when a howl of laughter bursts out of her chest. She had an inkling this was the case, from the way Steve has suspiciously been assigned to every single group project Nat had since September. And Y/N could bet his feelings weren't unrequited, for all the hissy fits Natasha has been throwing about him lately.

Y/Nwhatthehell: what if i tell you he might get what he wants if i tell her that?

Y/Nwhathehell: would you be able to put up with him when he's in a relationship with her? He's probs gonna be 10x worse

JamesBBarnes: oh shit u're right 

JamesBBarnes: fuck it, might as well get it over with. At least he'll stop moping every time she calls him an idiot 

Y/Nwhatthehell: you make a very compelling case, James. Studying law must have its benefits...you know, like having strong well rounded arguments

JamesBBarnes: my arguments would make more sense if i would be allowed to study ya know 

JamesBBarnes: and it's Bucky 

Y/Nwhatthehell: ?

JamesBBarnes: my friends call me Bucky 

Y/Nwhathehell: so we're friends now, are we?

Y/N can't stop the feeling of giddiness that starts to inflate through her chest. She might not have gotten the flirtatious messages she was expecting, but this seems somehow better. More real.

JamesBBarnes: if we're playing matchmakers for our friends, might as well be, don't you think?

Y/Nwhatthehell: i think i'll need a stronger argument than that in order to help you

JamesBBarnes: tell you what. I'll buy you a coffee and a pizza if you help me with those two 

Y/Nwhatthehell: coffee and pizza? A man after my own heart

She wonders for a second if that comment will freak him out, but hangs her head with a grin that splits her face when she sees his reply.

JamesBBarnes: only for you babe 

Bucky stares at the screen, unable to process what he just sent. He likes this girl, likes how his first impression after seeing her profile hasn't changed after starting to talk to her. He knows how easy it is to lie away your life on social media, and he can admit he's more than excited that she seems as wholesome and funny through text, and not only through pictures. Following her and sending her that message yesterday was his genuine desperation at trying to do something, anything really to make Steve stop, but he didn't expect to actually want to keep talking to her. He really hopes he hasn't messed up anything, when 'Typing...' keeps appearing and disappearing.

Y/Nwhatthehell: i'll hold you to that, babe

[buttercup-bard]

Thank you very much for tagging me Allie @alipiee! <3 <3

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

Tagging: @totheverybestoftimesjohn, @morgendaemmerung89, @bakerstreet-irregular, @missmuffin221, @mademoiselle-lani, @the-moon-loves-the-sea, @lost-in-fandom and @ila-221b (Only if you want to of course! <3)

So I’ll put a cut before the actual questions because this really is quite long. :’D Here goes loads of way too specific and personal information you probably didn’t want to know. ;)

LAST…

Drink: Coke.

Phone call: My mum.

Text message: A friend of mine.

Song you listened to: Je veux (ZAZ)

Time you cried: Properly? About two weeks ago.

HAVE YOU…

Dated someone twice: No.

Kissed someone and regretted it: No.

Been cheated on: Nope.

Lost someone special: Depends on what is meant by "lost", but yes.

Been depressed: As in sad, yes obviously. As in mental illness, no. (I hope I'm phrasing this right.)

Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope, I don't drink (I just don't like the taste). Lots of fun at parties back in school let me tell you, I used to be the only sober one and watched everyone else get drunk and throw up.

Made new friends: Yes, of course. Back when I started Uni and also here on Tumblr.

Fallen out of love: I guess? I don't know if I ever really was in love with that person though.

Laughed until you cried: Yes. It's rare but it happens.

Found out someone was talking about you: Yeeeeah... Back in school. Like, a lot.

Met someone who changed you: Yes, quite recently. Like not huge changes, but it’s there.

Found out who your friends are: From time to time I'm reminded of it, yes.

Kissed someone from your facebook list: My ex?

Kissed a stranger: Nope.

Drank hard liquor: Well not so much drank as forced it down? #NeverAgain

Lost glasses/contact lenses: Nooo I take good care of them.

Turned someone down: Sort of? Kinda? A little? Probably? I have a terrible tendency to get scared and stupid and indecisive when things threaten to get serious and managed to chase someone away with that, so that’s something.

Sex on the first date: I've never been in a position where that was an option, but I guess I would not not.

Broken someone’s heart: I... don't know? I don't think so.

Had your heart broken: Not really, at least not by someone else's fault.

Been arrested: God no. :’)

Cried when someone died: Yes.

Fallen for a friend: Kind of, yes.

Kissed on the first date: I have never really been on a "first date" as such, but yes I probably would.

GENERAL

List three favourite colours: Orange, Green, Turquoise

How many facebook friends do you know in real life: Well what is "knowing" even? I've met/seen all of them except for maybe two or three.

Do you have any pets: Not anymore (used to have a budgie).

Do you want to change your name: Nah I'm good.

What time did you wake up: 6 am

What were you watching at midnight last night: I was asleep? :'D

Name something you cant wait for: I don't have anything I'm waiting for rn.

When was the last time you saw your mum: Sunday.

What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Right now? I sort of wish I could take back/change some things I said and did recently? But other than that nothing specific.

What are you listening to right now: Cars driving by and birds singing.

Have you ever talked to a person called Tom: (This is so delightfully random omg. :'D) Yes, I used to know several Toms actually.

Something that is getting on your nerves right now: My inability to concentrate/lack of focus?

Most visited site: Tumblr I guess?

Mole: Yeah lots, for example next to my left ear.

Mark/s: I have some scars from stupid stuff I used to do as a child (mostly in the face/head area).

Childhood dream: I wanted to be a doctor actually. Little Me did not yet know that I can barely stand the sight of blood, let alone handle needles or knives. :’D

Do you have a crush on someone: Well yes sort of.

What do you like about yourself: Not much really? Physically probably my eyes? Character wise, maybe that I always try to be kind and helpful? And when I say try I mean it doesn’t always work.

Piercings: Nope.

Blood type: I honestly don’t know? I need to find out?

Nickname: Don’t have one. (Apart from maybe @missmuffin221 calling me her Hobbit. :’D)

Relationship status: Forever Single (Because I’m an idiot and a coward and prone to ruining all the good things in my life. Gosh, someone’s bitter.)

Zodiac: Libra

Pronouns: She/Her

Favourite tv show(s): Used to be BBC Sherlock, but that turned out to be shit, so. Dr Who, Shadowhunters, Lucifer, HTGAWM, Glee, Star Trek TOS, Granada Holmes, ...

Tattoo: Nope. I’d love one but I’m afraid of needles.

Right or left handed: Right

Surgery: I got my wisdom teeth removed (and some other spare teeth that were just chillin’ in my jaw).

Hair dyed a different colour: Nope. I tried to get it a bit lighter once or twice but it didn’t really work. Also I’m a coward and scared it wouldn’t suit me. (I'd love dark brown or red.)

Sport: I used to do ballett and fencing, also I love swimming but I haven’t been in ages.

Vacation: Paris? London? Frankly I'm fine rn.

Current and all-time best friend name: I don’t have one?

Eye colour: Dark brown.

Favourite movie: A few weeks ago I would have said Beauty and The Beast (2017) without hesitating, I guess it's still true though. I love almost all Disney and Marvel movies, also The Hobbit Trilogy and Harry Potter.

WHICH IS BETTER?

Hugs or kisses: Both? Both is good? But hugs I guess if I have to choose.

Lips or eyes: Eyes omg eyes, eyes are beautiful.

Shorter or taller: Taller (since I’m tiny myself).

Nice arms or stomach: Stomach?

Sensitive or loud: Sensitive.

Hook up or relationship: Depends on who it is with really?

Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

Yourself: Haa I wish... :’)

Miracles: I’d like to but no, not really.

Love at first sight: No. Attraction at first sight yes, love no.

Santa Claus: Nope, never did actually.

[archirenaux]

Wait can I ask for Wynn and Niall on the "get to know my characters" thing? I'm interested in if you'd make changes now :)

yes you can!!! it was fun to see what i’ve discovered about them over the years, tbh, especially in the case of niall. i think he has changed the most vs. how he was when i first “made” him, like, 4-5 years ago? yikes.

01. Full name: Wynn Ercwlff Carmichael (I couldn’t actually remember the middle name I originally gave him so I went with the most Welsh bastard I could find)02. Best friend: I remain a BIG FAN of him being best friends with Marcas and Helbert.03. Sexuality: He’s an artiste... who knows.04. Favorite color: I won’t waste your time by naming them because he fore sure cannot decide, though he does keep coming back to pear green.05. Relationship status: Married B)06. Ideal mate: Wynn found his way into being a lil’ uptight under the careful watch of his mother and then after he started working with teenagers who can stress him tf out, so someone who would help him relax at the end of the day. Someone who doesn’t put too many expectations on him, or demand too much of him. (Not that he can’t handle responsibility, he just can’t really handle demanding people at this stage in life.) Someone funny, creative, and supportive. :’)07. Turn-ons: Nice smiles, lots of laughter, affection, a feeling of security with the person, compassion, and humor.08. Favorite food: Crempog/pancakes09. Crushes: His wife @theblushdahlia aka you)10. Favorite music: Duran Duran, Hall & Oates, Men at Work, aaaand probably Tears for Fears tbqh.11. Biggest fear: He got two. 1) Not being able to provide for his family and 2) waking up one day and feeling like he didn’t do enough re: his career in art/that he settled by becoming a teacher.12. Biggest fantasy: Rn his biggest fantasies really revolve around his children succeeding and being happy when they grow up? Lame!!! (jk)13. Bad habits: He’s so dang indecisive!!! Midnight snacking, biting the ends of pens and pencils and things, tries too hard to make people feel okay about something until they’re like “ok thx but pls stop”, can get kinda whiny about small things, leaves the toilet seat up a lot, and not to drag him but he probably drinks a lot of expensive juices.14. Biggest regret: His falling out with his mom because it was right on the cusp of her getting sick and he didn’t try to patch things up for awhile.15. Best kept secrets: He can’t count to 100. Lol jk. I think, for a long time, it was his family (specifically, the state of it and his relationships with them).16. Last thought: “When will these children finally all be asleep AT THE SAME TIME???”17. Worst romantic experience: That time he proposed to his gf at the time and she said no lol.18. Biggest insecurity: His art and his ability to make art.19. Weapon of choice: Even in the FWW verse I wouldn’t say his wand because he is just Not Great at defensive magic, so idk. He’s the least violent character I have, probably.20. Role Model: I don’t think he has a role model but in terms of someone who he respects and inspires him, it’d be Calista, especially after everything she’s gone through and how she’s such a great mom to their kids.

xxx

01. Full name: Niall Brennan Mulloy02. Best friend: [banging pots n pans together] JER-EM-Y WOOD ( @multisamicis​​ )03. Sexuality: Hetero but I mean, we all know the Jeremy/Joce/Niall ot3 is something he’d be into.04. Favorite color: [Niall Mulloy voice]: Who over 10 has a fuckin’ favorite color? (It’s a blue-gray.)05. Relationship status: Obviously it depends on the timeline, but where he is in the verse in which he currently exists, he is in fact in a loving and committed relationship with Marlene ( @theinglenook​ ​). 06. Ideal mate: From his perspective, someone intelligent and relatively spontaneous, not boring or naive. Someone who’s not very dependent or WEIRD (lol he’s v. judgmental so he would not fare well with someone Quirky). He likes someone who can take charge but not necessarily controlling/bossin’ him around. But I also think he needs someone who will pull him out of shell (though, to be clear, I don’t mean in the He’s Shy type of shell, because he definitely isn’t, but the shell he’s constructed for himself that can limit the things he experiences or the people he interacts with cuz he Jaded and closed-off). Also, someone who’ll call him out when he’s a dick and not like, police his behavior but make him face the facts when he’s being ridiculous. And, depending on the timeline, someone who’s not only chill with him having a daughter but likes and is kind to her.07. Turn-ons: You know as well as I that he is a Butt Man(TM). But also, back to the taking charge thing →  ✓. Ummm. Long hair, good hygiene, lots of kissing, aaaand idk, I don’t want to sound redundant by saying intelligence but it’s true, but he’s also kinda shallow so like if you hot, he’s like “nice.”08. Favorite food: Forfar bridies09. Crushes: Other than the babysitter his parents hired when he was like, eight? His gal, Marlene.10. Favorite music: He’s not a huge music person, tbh. He will mostly listen to whatever his brother, Ian, is playing, which is 70′s/80′s punk music (Buzzcocks, Stiff Little Fingers, Joy Division, Ramones, etc). He’s been conditioned to enjoy it. But if he were to make the steps to explore more and see what he really likes, he’d be more into The Who and, like, Cream, haha. 11. Biggest fear: Losing the people he loves/cares about.12. Biggest fantasy: Tbh, to just be a good dad, brother, friend, bf, etc. He has always felt like he’s not doing enough irt his interpersonal relationships, but he’s reached a point where he wants to make an effort to be better.13. Bad habits: Can I call general apathy a bad habit? Lmao. But also, hardly remembers to do the dishes until there’s a full sink, judging people before he gets to know them, bad at communicating, swearing a lot, smoking, and ya know being generally unfriendly for no valid reason (though less so than he has in the past).14. Biggest regret: He has... A Few of those, but I guess his biggest one, in FWW verse, was that time he disappeared and didn’t tell anyone where he was for months LOL!15. Best kept secrets: He reeeally, really truly believes he let his brother down. Niall thinks he failed Ian in so many ways, but it’s something he doesn’t want to say aloud for fear of it being validated.16. Last thought: It was either about Maggie, Marlene, Jeremy, or work lmao.17. Worst romantic experience: He didn’t have very many romantic experiences before he got together with Marlene when he was around 18. But I guess if I took the definition of romantic much, much more loosely, I could say that the two-birds-one-day fiasco was like, super great while it happened, but the backlash was A Lot ahahahhaha.18. Biggest insecurity: Niall’s reluctant to show his emotions because he’s forgotten how and it makes him feel Weak when he does, so -- that!19. Weapon of choice: Tbh, I honestly don’t know. His fists? Prob.20. Role Model: His mom.  

[waynonna]

I'm not sure but I think I might have BPD, until I can talk to my doctor about it do you have any advice on how I might have a clearer understanding whether or not I do have it, like smaller symptoms, tells, etc. Thank you

hey anon! this is quite a lot, but i hope it helps

ok so, i know some people say “oh, just google” but tbh i dont trust google for this because

1. most stuff you’ll find are related to “how to deal with a borderline relative/partner/friend” and not enough about how to make the people with bpd feel better and

2. most articles and stuff talk about the major symptoms, but not everybody experiences the same thing, and some people have a milder disorder than others. as for the smaller symptoms, it’s harder to find stuff on

tbh when i started looking up bpd (in august last year) before talking about it with my doctor, i was really frustrated, cuz not only did those make me feel bad and abusive, but they didn’t give me information.

what helped me a lot was really trying to pay attention to my emotions, my mood changes. because a lot of doctors get bpd mixed up with bipolar disorder, it’s good for us to evaluate this too. one thing that i was told that’s different between both is that in bipolar disorder the mood changes can last for days, while in bpd they’re usually (but not always) in small intervals. sometimes it even lasts for a few minutes. 

one thing that might really help not only with anger/sadness/etc relief, but also with understanding those symptoms is writing a journal. doesn’t even need to be anything extensive, just something small about what youre feeling will help. and then when you gather all of that, you can analyse it.

now, as i said bpd is often different for different people. what i’m mentioning is mostly my own experience and what signs helped me realize i have bpd and talk to my doctor about it:

- an intense fear of being abandoned. i have a really big history of going into really deep depression after a breakup, being it romantic or not. any thought of being alone completely breaks me. which brings me to the jealousy. in my case, it isnt really a vengeful kind of jealousy, but more sad and angry, because that person who i idolize “is leaving me” or at least that’s what it looks like to me. that reminds me of when i was 16, and idolized my math teacher. she was helping me through my depression and ocd, and was amazing. then every single time i would see her talking to another student i would get really upset, have panic attacks, cry, and just want to interfere and stop it. i didnt know why, but somehow i had to be the only one she liked. once a friend of mine was talking to her about me and i had a major episode, because i Had to know if she was talking shit about me i just Had To.

- i tend to abandon everyone else, unconsciously, whenever i idolize someone. usually everything i do or want to do is related to that person. but then out of nowhere they make me hate them for a day or so, and then i love them again.

- impulsive behavior is a really big sign too. in my case, it was never anything like spending too much money, eating too much, having lots of sex, etc. mine were always unnoticed by me, actually, until i started thinking about it. since i was a kid, i always started a sport, dance, any class, and would drop after a month or so. ive tried literally everything the school had to offer, and every time it would get less exciting or id get sad, id drop it. when i was 10, i was attending an english language course, and we had an exam after just a week of classes. within a minute of the start of the exam, i started crying and asking to leave. the coordinator came and talked to me, telling me it would be ok to do it, but i didnt care. so i cried so much they had to call my mom. and i dropped it. now, in 2015, i started an architecture program at uni. it was fine at first, but then i had a major breakdown due to a person, and i decided to drop everything. so no more architecture. then i tried engineering. 1 month, something happened, i had a suicide attempt, ended up at the hospital, dropped the program. so pay attention to these behaviors, even if they seem normal to you. mine seemed like it because i justified it saying that i was just looking for “my calling”, but nothing would ever be that calling, because i wouldnt let it.

- overwhelming emotions, everything being exaggerated. always black or white, never gray. it you love it, you idolize it. if you dislike it, you hate it with everything in you. not only with people and things, but also ideas. and you cant understand neutrality. when someone is neutral with you, even if not being negative, it is like an insult anyway, and you lose it. and these are emotions that are terribly hard to control. you want to control them, but you cant. you try, but it’s never enough. and no one understands why youre freaking out over something as simple as dropping your ice cream, or getting your hair wet. small things like these have an enormous effect on people with bpd. and people always say “youre overreacting!” but honestly, not really. we feel that way. it may not be a big deal to them, but to us it feels like a stake to the heart.

- but also feelings of numbness. it took me a long time to realize i have this, because i honestly thought it was normal, everybody had it. and for a while related it to being sad (maybe theres 2 types of sad, feeling too more and not at all?). i usually describe it as feeling like im in a movie, like i know people and things are there and i can see and touch them, but i cant feel them. like im putting my hands in ice cold water, and i know its cold but i cant feel the cold. like i know the world exists but does it really? most of the time, when im not dissociating, i dont even remember what it feels like, because it feels like nothing.

- trouble expressing feelings and thoughts. idk if many people have this, but i have it quite often. somehow i cant put to words what is really going on with me and even when i do, people dont usually understand it.

- indecisiveness. seriously, i cant even decide what underwear to wear. i say i cant, because it’s not like i don’t want to, it just takes the whole of me to make a decision. whether it is a big one (lately ive been struggling with deciding where to go for my exchange program) or a small one (what to eat for dinner), it’s always a huge fight in my head, and most times it expresses itself in terrible ways. every time im faced with a choice, i end up crying, panicking, and most times decide to give up and not choose anything at all. sometimes i cant even choose to give up, i just lay there crying and screaming and hating everything. it’s a nightmare.

- a lot of anger when things dont go as expected, or when feeling abandoned, as well as extreme fear, and not being able to trust easily. but a lot of times being very kind too.

im trying to think of something else but dont really remember rn. these are the most important symptoms for me though, and what made me realize i have it. but really, if possible, write a journal, write things you feel, bad or good, anything can be useful.

you can also learn more about it and/or find some good helpful stuff here, here, here, here, here, here and here