#why does he denote whenever you do extremely specific shit

[juneboat]

the fact that save files in deltarune are quite possibly even more diagetic than they were in undertale fills me with fear and dread like no other

[revasnaslan]

(Hey, it's me, the writing tips anon.) If you have an notes on introducing characters or dialogue in general, that would be super helpful. Sorry I'm so terrible at communication.

no no you’re fine!! it’s just that writing is such a broad topic to cover that it helps me if i have one specific thing to talk about (i’m no actually as articulate as i’m sure my fics lead people to believe lmao y’all should see me in my group chats)

As for introducing characters, it helps if you give them an establishing character moment. That’s not a trope for no reason. I’ve had to do that a lot in my fic Raised Amongst the Stars because so much of the cast is OC’s that the reader isn’t going to be familiar with because before they were on paper, they only existed in my own head.

This got a little long cause I basically picked three of my OC’s and listed off a bunch of things from their introduction scenes that basically establish who they are as people without actually having to come right out and say it. So it’s under a cut :3

Kyren’s Establishing Character Moment (from Chapter 1):

Thace drew his blade, and its form shifted as he held it out in front of him. Ulaz began reaching for his, hugging Keith close to his chest as he tried soothing the cub before upset became a full blown tantrum.

“Sorry!”

A younger Blade slide down a nearby ladder, landing soundly on their feet. Their age was clearly denoted by the make of their armor and also their size. They were just a tad shorter than Thace was. They made no attempt to retrieve their blade from where it had embedded itself in the stone wall of the alley, four inches deep.

This is meant to establish that Kyren is young, but he’s skilled. It takes exceptional aim to nearly take Ulaz’s head off from such a distance and quite a throw to embed a blade into a wall as deeply as he did. Kyren is the ace of his initiate class, so it makes sense that he’d have the most skill out of them (although the class is only made up of three individuals so it’s not saying that much with that alone).

Kyren definitely recognized Thace, as his entire expression brightened. “Sergeant Thace!” he greeted, very close to bouncing up and down on his toes like an excited cub half his age. “I—I didn’t know you would be coming to check on me! Commander Kolivan didn’t—he didn’t tell me I would be having visitors so soon!”

Ulaz cut in before Thace could respond, choosing his words carefully. “This… isn’t exactly a schedule visit, Kyren.”

He wasn’t sure if Kyren had heard him, though. “I haven’t prepared any briefings for you yet, sir,” he explained. “But—but I have all the notes!”

Ulaz forced a smile. “Well, that’s nice of you, but we came here hoping that the local Blade would be in possession of a shuttle—”

A grin broke out on Kyren’s features. “Of course!” he said enthusiastically, “Anything you need, sir! And I can provide you with briefings too, to show Commander Kolivan I’m doing my job! I just need time to type them up and—”

This establishes that Kyren is extremely eager to please. He wants to be helpful and to prove himself, especially since he’s just fresh off of his trial and this is his first field assignment. It also establishes that Kyren really really looks up to Thace and wants to impress him. He’s excitable and extremely talkative and has no qualms with showing that.

Kyren made no attempts to hide his curiosity about Keith, even though Keith was completely and utterly uninterested in the new person he had just met. “Why do you have a cub with you?” he asked, ears alert as he tilted his head.

“Don’t you have a report to write?” Thace asked.

Basic, but establishes that Kyren is very interested in new and unusual things. Also this scene serves as a contrast to a later scene from the yet unposted Chapter 4, where Kyren meets Keith when he’s older. By then Kyren has matured a little bit more (meaning a new establishing character moment since he disappeared from the fic for like three chapters), so he’s a lot more soft spoken and such.

Evren’s Establishing Character Moment (from Chapter 2):

Myrek’s still unawakened blade ricocheted off of Evren’s arm guard, leaving a series of sparks in its wake. The initiate bared his canines in a snarl before lunging at Evren again, but his attack didn’t phase her. Slowly, Evren stepped backwards, reversing the grip on her blade and blocking most of Myrek’s attempted blows—one did actually land, grazing along Evren’s upper arm. Myrek mimicked her then, reversing the grip on his blade as he aimed a blow at Evren’s right side—the wrong side.

During his years of training, Thace had learned that Evren lacked much of the peripheral vision on her left side. While she wasn’t completely blind in her left eye, it did take her longer to react to attacks that were aimed there, leaving her opponents with an opening to strike. As such, she normally tried to keep her opponents on her right—Thace had noticed that Kolivan frequently stayed on her left side whenever they led doubles training matches for the initiates. And now Myrek was forgetting to use her weakness to his advantage.

Seeing Myrek’s attack coming, Evren locked her arm with his and kneed him hard in the stomach, throwing him off balance. Myrek let out a strangled cough as the air was forced out of his lungs, and he yelped as Evren gripped him by the forearm and easily flipped him onto his ass. He hit the floor with a grunt, and his blade clattered across the training room, out of his reach. Then, Evren’s stance shifted so that she was lower to the ground. She crouched over him, and poised her blade to strike, holding the tip just shy of Myrek’s jugular.

“Do you yield?” Evren asked.

This scene is meant to establish that Evren is a seasoned warrior who is very skilled in what she does. Basically, I wanted to establish that she was a badass, while also establishing that she has a handicap. Evren has heavy scarring on the left side of her face as a result of an attempt on her life, and the result wounds caused her to lose peripheral vision in that eye. By having Myrek attack that side, I established the Evren has that handicap while also establishing that she’s worked out methods to deal with said handicap.

... also i just wanted too write her kicking ass lmao

“Then why doesn’t he just put me in maintenance?” Myrek said.

Evren gave a heavy sigh, before she moved forward to lightly place her hands on Myrek’s shoulders. Her mask dematerialized as well, revealing her face as she looked up at him. Her gentle expression contrasted sharply with the scarring that marred the left side of her face, standing out against her dark purple fur.

It was a rare sight, to see Evren without her mask on—a sign of complete and utter trust on her part.

“What, and waste so much potential?” she asked, offering a reassuring smile. She gently began smoothing down the thick fur on the back of Myrek’s neck—something Myrek would have hated had it been anyone else attempting it. When Evren did it, though, some of the tension left his shoulders. “If you just keep training, I promise that you will be able to take your trial.”

“But Kolivan said—” Myrek began muttering.

Evren scoffed, making a show of rolling her eyes, though her smile didn’t fade. “You never mind what Kolivan says. He’s an old blowhard—nothing but hot air.”

Myrek tried to stifle a tearful laugh.

this scene is meant to establish that while she is a fighter and a damn good one with a lot of experience under her belt, she is also exceedingly kind and gentle with those who need comfort. I didn’t just call her a space mom for nothing. Evren very much fits the trope of Team Mom because she’s so gentle and kindhearted, although the aformented ass-kicking also makes it clear that she’s not to be trifled with.

Do no harm, take no shit.

“Good,” Evren said, “Now, go get your blade and stretch for another practice match. I have to speak with Thace.”

“Yes, Evren,” Myrek said, dipping his head and bringing a fist to his chest in the makings of a salute. Then, he moved toward the opposite side of the room, stopping to scoop his blade up off the floor as he went.

“And no slacking!” Evren shouted after him, “I don’t think Kellun would appreciate seeing you so early in the morning because you didn’t stretch properly!”

“You need to stop babying him,” Thace sighed, as Evren finally turned her full attention to him. “He’s not a cub—”

“I worry about all my officers,” Evren retorted.

this establishes that Evren is a trainer in addition to being gentle and kindhearted. she doesn’t need her students slacking, she doesn’t need them being injured, but she’s like that because she worries about them because she sees all her officers like they’re her own cubs.

so yeah, only love and respect for my space mom

Nylak’s Establishing Character Moment (from Chapter 3):

“Hello, Sergeant [Antok],” Nylak greeted him, voice smooth as running water. She didn’t bother to look him in the eye while addressing him, though, and one of her large ears shifted back into a relaxed position at the side of her head. She continued filing one of her claws without further acknowledgment of his presence.

This alone establishes Nylak and Antok’s relationship. Even though Antok outranks her, Nylak shows him only the barest amounts of respect, calling him by his rank. However, she also refuses to give him the courtesy of looking him in the eye when she’s talking to him. The only acknowledgement of his presence is her ear moving in his direction and then shifting back. 

Nylak’s ears gave a couple more irritated twitches before she spoke up, cutting Myrek off. “You’re right, Myrek,” she said stiffly. Her gaze snapped up to meet Antok’s. “I would hate to upset the cub.”

“And I have better things to do than pick fights with a fresh-furred Corporal who has a grandiose opinion of herself,” Antok conceded dryly.

“Oh, do you really?” Nylak questioned.

This establishes that Antok and Nylak bring out the worst in each other. Antok is older than her, and while I tend to write Antok as being somewhat childish in his mannerism, he at least can be mature and doesn’t descend into this kind of childish bickering that isn’t even teasing. Antok and Nylak can’t fucking stand each other and I make that abundantly clear in the text. If Nylak was less put together of a person, perhaps she would have lost her temper by now, but instead she maintains an air of grace with everything she does or says (which as i make clear in the fic, is a result of her upbringing, since she’s imperial-born and was recruited rather than being born into the blade)

“Did you need something, Sergeant?” Nylak asked, as she went back to filing her claw. She only stopped when she seemed satisfied with the edge on it, before moving on to the next one.

“I would hate to interrupt your threat display with more pressing matters,” Antok said, crossing his arms over his chest as the tip of his tail lashed back and forth, sweeping across the ground. Nylak’s ears gave an amused twitch at the sound of it, and Antok’s own ears perked when he heard Myrek’s soft, irritated groan. However, his gaze didn’t stray from Nylak.

She flexed her claws, watching as the light caught and glinted on them in the dimly lit communication hub. “There is nothing wrong with a little claw maintenance, Sergeant,” she retorted. “Don’t be so sensitive… Myrek isn’t bothered by it.”

And here, she’s still filing her claws. In my headcanon, one Galra filing their claws in the presence of another can actually be taken as a threat display. Nylak knows damn well what she’s doing but continues doing it even though she knows that it’s making Antok uncomfortable because... well, she’s a bitch. i mean i love her, but she’s an unrelenting bitch XD

basically nylak’s entire introduction scene is meant to showcase how she’s a really unpleasant person to be around...