#why is gay never used in it? /j/ j i haven't seen it yet but..

[yyyyyyayy]

playing craftmine in shakespherean english i feel like im looking thru kaoru bandoris brain thru a microscope.

[lycanr0t]

if you'd like to share your thoughts on gay trans man marcille i'd love to read them and/or see your art of him! (no pressure of course!)

oh man will I share my thoughts dfjkh I was maybe going to eventually make a post to ramble about it but this gives me the perfect excuse to now :J

This ranting WILL have spoilers for anime only fans/ppl who haven't finished the manga!

Marcille is interesting to read as a gay trans man though. Because how I see it, during the events of the manga he would not know he's trans! Or at most, he would maybe have some Gender Feelings but he wouldn't really understand it yet.

To me, Marcille is the type who would at first do everything in his power to deny it/convince himself he isn't trans. I think he would have a fair bit of internalized transphobia just as a result of his fairly rigid way of going about things. He has specific standards for himself especially but also for others.

This is where my gay trans man headcanon for Falin comes in lol.

Not for romance reasons specifically, but because I think the way Marcille treats Falin when looked at through the lens of Marcille being a trans egg is especially interesting.

For my Falin headcanon, I see Falin as a gay trans man as well, but I think that he wouldn't be out to Marcille until after the events of the manga. This is very integral to how I view Marcille's gender discovery happening.

I think that during the time they're in school together, Marcille would have feelings for Falin that are confusing. In Marcille's mind they're both girls, so he must just be a girl into girls, right? Meanwhile Falin performs girl wrong and this challenges Marcille's worldview. Marcille cares for Falin, and this manifests as Marcille trying to 'help' Falin perform girl better. Basically, Marcille doubling down on his currently held beliefs of what gender is and how it functions instead of considering that it may not be that simple, and he and/or Falin may not be a girl. Falin I think would not bring up being trans for a few reasons but primarily that boy is just not big on conflict with people especially those he cares for.

But anyways. A perfect example of Marcille forcing his idea of correct gender performance being in a daydream hour page where Falin is drawn with short hair, and Marcille is visibly pretty upset by it. (I don't have the translated image but here it is)

I know that it seems like a small thing that doesn't hold much weight, and it's not technically canon but trans mens hair is often something that people feel that they need to control. A girl cutting her hair short is seen as this horrible, unacceptable thing. Now again, obviously Falin doesn't canonically cut his hair short, but the fact that Marcille would be upset and specifically wants it long again informs us about his view of these things. I think that hair being useful for magic would end up being a justification for both being upset by the concept of Falin with short hair, and a justification to himself on why he is not allowed to experiment with shorter hair. It's more practical for his line of work/study, so it's a perfect excuse to just never think about if he TRULY loves it long or if he is just doubling down on performing what's expected of him.

Marcille is a KING of appearing way more uptight than he is. He's very by the books, very strict seeming about doing magic right, but he also specifically primarily has interest in the most taboo magic. He's the loudest about complaining about eating monsters, but he's also the first one to outright say that if they have to eat demihumans then so be it. Marcille is full of contradicting feelings and actions and I think he's prone to trying to fit into what people expect but his heart isn't fully in it so he still ends up doing the unexpected as well.

Even after the manga, Marcille has lost his desire to take care of his hair but he honestly doesn't seem... that upset by it? He is upset, sure, but for something that appeared to be a pretty big thing for him he accepts it shockingly smoothly. Almost as if perhaps, it's a relief to have an excuse to try something different. To try shorter hair maybe? Because now he has an excuse other than doing gender 'wrong'. It would feel safer to explore.

Aand I have a TON of other thoughts but this is getting pretty long and I'm losing track of my thoughts SO I'm going to drop a small list of some other random half formed thoughts I think about in relation to Marcille being a gay trans man

marcille being half elf half tallman and the parallel between that and being trans and how when you're trans you're alienated and isolated. in society's eyes youre not fully a man, not fully a woman, you're both and neither and othered in a complicated way

everyone assuming marcilles wish is to become 'full elf' also is interesting to compare to the experience of people viewing being trans as 'wishing you were X gender' in a very binary way

marcille asking if his dad is pregnant in a flashback just feels like something a trans egg kid would say

marcilles overall attachment to his father tbh.

marcille being super into romance novels and specifically his succubus presenting as a pretty boy from his novels. Obviously this can be read romantic or whatever but I know personally a lot of characters I was obsessed with as a child that I thought was romantic attraction turned out to be a combination of attraction and wanting their gender expression. I think it's interesting to read into marcille's interest in romance novels as him finding a 'safe' way to explore his attraction to men and desire to be a man without actually acknowledging that directly. (a lot of irl gay trans men do similar before they realize theyre gay trans men!)

Aaand that's my thoughts for now lmao. Here's some pen doodles I did while figuring out how I wanted to draw post-canon marcille :> Still working on figuring him out but I like how these look! I like the idea of him having some facial hair (not very long as elves seem to not be able to grow much body hair) and probably cutting his hair so it's more shoulder length and a bit easier to manage!

[amiharana]

BTS BOTW AU OMG WHAT??? pls share with the class immediately

LMFAODJFNKD it's honestly not even that interesting

back in 2019, i was writing for taegi week and the last day was a free day, and at the time i was still in my baby revalinker phase so i decided i wanted to write the most self-indulgent bts x botw au in which bts members took the places of botw characters. i actually had a tumblr post drafted to talk about this, but i guess we'll talk about it here now! in the case you are familiar with bts while also being a botw player, this could be of some interest to you.

i never actually got very far in writing it out (because i was 15 and school was beating my ass), but after reviewing the two unfinished drafts and the conceptual outlining style i do on every post, i remembered that i planned to rewrite the mount lanayru-calamity awakening memory with bts members as well as putting the revalink dynamic in there

please don't laugh i was 15 when i wrote this LMFAODJFKFJKD i don't plan on showing you what the unfinished drafts look like because like i said, i never got very far in writing them so there's nothing of interest to really note in either of those

as you can from the pic, i wrote V/taehyung as revali and SUGA/yoongi as link. looking back on it now, i probably would not have chosen yoongi as link and i should have written taehyung as link and yoongi as revali because that makes more sense regarding their personalities, but i guess 15-year-old me was really set on that dynamic. other characters included:

RM/kim namjoon as princess zelda

park jimin as mipha

jeon jungkook as baby sidon LOL

j-hope/jung hoseok as daruk

jin/kim seokjin as urbosa

and *drumroll*

bang pd as king rhoam bosphoramus hyrule ✋😩

i'm going to assume most of my mutuals and followers are probably not familiar with bts, so i'll try to give you a quick rundown!

V (or kim taehyung) is one of the group's vocalists and is one of my biases, or favorite member :> he's been my bias since 2018 when i became a bts fan! (the other one is jungkook he's the one in my pfp KJDHFHJKD) he has this show recently called 'jinny's kitchen' but i haven't watched it yet because i've been busy with school 😭 but from the clips i've seen that shit is funnyyy. SUGA (or min yoongi) is one of the rappers and he's coming out with a new album called 'D-DAY' soon + just released a song called 'people pt 2' ft. iu! the first part of 'people' on his last album was a fawking banger.

revalink had to be taehyung and yoongi because this au was originally intended to be uploaded for taehyung and yoongi (taegi)'s ship week. i definitely didn't place them as revali and link correctly, but i think know why i made it that way? there used to be this huge stereotype against yoongi that he was really mean and cold-hearted, and i was and always have been against that stereotype because bro really isn't like that. he's a soft sweet and sensitive tangerine boy fr! and making yoongi as revali wouldn't help that cause so i did what had to be done. i do think that taehyung still a relatively good fit for revali though; they be dramatic gays fr

RM (or kim namjoon) is the leader of bts, one of the rappers, and is a really smart guy. bro has an IQ of 148 and was also once one of the top 1% of students in south korea. so naturally, i made him zelda, the figurehead of the champions and the representation of the triforce of wisdom. but i was thinking about this connection more the other day when i first was writing out the post to talk about this, and i think namjoon and botw zelda actually have quite a few parallels. if anyone is interested in hearing more, please send an ask or a dm or something because i don't wanna make this post longer 😭

jimin is one of the group's vocalists and is also an incredible dancer. he had a solo debut recently with the album 'face' and title track 'like crazy' which you guys should all check out! :) but the reason why i put jimin as mipha is because he studied contemporary dance in high school and his personal style of dance tends to be very fluid and graceful, and like. do y'all see the connection lmao. mipha, being a zora in a watery domain? thus also being very fluid and graceful in her movements? TEEHEE

jungkook is the youngest member of the group another one of the vocalists and dancers, is my boyfriend and is Thee Golden Boy of K-pop and also the world. sidon being a baby pre-calamity and also everyone in general both in-game and online being obsessed with how boyfriend sidon is, as well as how polite and goofy jungkook is... i think the connection between jungkook and sidon is very clearly there LOL i also just didn't know how to include him in the story because i felt that jungkook just didn't fit into the personality of the other champions. if i had the chance to rewrite this au, i would have had jungkook as link because jungkook is so Main Character Vibes, and then taekook (taehyung and jungkook) would literally be revalink

back then, i remember having a difficult time trying to place who would be daruk and urbosa, but i think i made the right call with hoseok and jin. j-hope (or jung hoseok) is one of bts's rappers and is known as the sunshine of the group because he's just so energetic and positive, and i think that definitely matches with daruk's jovial and encouraging disposition. jin (kim seokjin) is one of the vocalists and is the eldest in the group, and as the kind of like "older brother" figure, he takes care of everyone in the group in a way that's different from how namjoon is as the leader y'know? i think urbosa fills that role for the champions because i personally think she might be the oldest of the group (daruk gives man in his 50s lowkey so i'm like hmmm) and takes care of them in a way that isn't the same as leading.

as for king rhoam bosphoramus hyrule... bang pd (or producer bang sihyuk) is the founder of the company bts is under and is the chairman of the label that bts eventually created. he is, in that sense, the "guy who made bts." he kind of has this fatherly relationship to the rest of bts, but that's where the similarities between him and king rhoam end LOL because rhoam is kind of an asshole who puts too much pressure on zelda and assembles the champions as his own tools to save the country, while bang pd is just this super chill guy who unlike other kpop ceos tends to stay out of the limelight and really just has a passion for making good music. but i thought it would be funny to emphasize a fatherly relationship between namjoon and bang pd KDJHFDKF

there's so many implied dynamics that could go here between the bts members as champions. like for one, taehyung and jimin are regarded as soulmate-besties in the bts fandom, so the implication that revali (taehyung) and mipha (jimin) are soulmate-besties is Feeding tf out of my brainworms like hell yeah. daruk and urbosa shenanigans are gonna line up perfectly with hoseok and jin's dynamic. NAMJOON (zelda) HAVING FEELINGS FOR YOONGI (link)? also lines up, these hoes have been living together for 10+ years and namjoon was practically proposing to yoongi in that one 'respect' performance.

idk.... maybe i'll come back to this, workshop it, and actually write it one day haha!

[tsukidrama]

hello tsuki! i hope you’ve been well!

it makes sense!! it even gives annie more depth! it’s actually very interesting to read one fic after the other because you can really see annie’s development! you did such a great job. and i’m sorry if it was in one of the fics and i missed it/forgot about it but when did reader learn about annie being a titan?

all of the ideas you listed sound so good, especially the reunion, it sounds very emotional! i understand about annie getting to grow old, i was so happy for her and reiner! they deserve some peace now. and about the fics you’re currently working on, i can’t wait to read all of them!! they’re all about characters that i love and i’m even more excited to talk about them with you askfhehj

i love their teacher too!! she’s the most badass housewife i’ve ever seen.

oh i see! i wonder why it’s not more popular then, considering how loved aot is.

i understand why you call it your masterpiece! there isn’t one line that doesn’t sound great, it’s all perfect!

i actually wanted to re-read part 2 today but then saw that historia one shot, i am not a fan of her at all but since you’re the one that wrote it i wanted to give it a try and i do not regret it!! i really loved the details like “She’ll unfasten the buckles of your maneuvering gear with expertise and skill she could have only gained from being a soldier herself” reminding us of her past! the line “...had to do with your big fat gay crush on Historia.” actually made me laugh out loud. the rhythm of the fic is also so good, it made me as impatient as historia for reader to come back and then as stressed as reader when it started to get steamy! the descriptions were as good as always, it looks so dreamy to sleep in historia’s bed and use her bathroom omg leaving the barracks to live in a place like this must have been a shock!

then the smut part was really good as always, i like the way you write it because it doesn't seem “too much” like you can read in some wlw fanfics, and my favourite part is that it didn’t stop right after the smut, the whole part after that was so sweet!

so yeah it’s the first time i actually like historia in a fanfic (or at all almost) so congratulations lol! in your fic she is soft but not innocent but still isn’t extremely kinky like some may portray her, it’s the perfect balance!

oh yelena definitey is a psycopath, but seeing her in the game would be entertaining (at least from the outside)! she really is hot, i can’t wait for her last scenes to be animated, i’m waiting for it more than some important scenes lmao.

also i wanted to say thank you for all the content you provide us (i realised i haven't said it before)(i can't believe i get to read all of that for free!!) you're one of my favourite writers on here and interacting with you is really fun and always so nice! 🥰

-j

hey friend! i haven't been doing too hot lately but i feel better after hearing from you! 😍 i really messed up my knee, nobody knows wtf is wrong with it & i need to go back to the doctor because it's not getting better 😖

cries, thank you! i might put all the annie stories that share TRNT reader in a series on ao3 or something, i had been thinking about that in the past. i might even edit the masterlist although I'm not sure how exactly yet, just that I want it to be labeled if that makes sense? and no, i have not written reader's reaction to finding out that Annie is a titan, mostly because that shit hurts me. she would've found out alongside everyone else though... as much as Annie loved/loves reader, she's so convinced that that she wouldn't or couldn't understand so she never tells R anything. R's biggest reaction is like "well u didn't even give me a chance..." and she really wants Annie to wake up so they can talk about it. unfortunately Annie's biggest fear is exactly what reader wants/needs, to learn all of her motives and ask the questions she never had the chance to ask.

well, aot has giant zombies and the big mystery of humanity thing going for it. fma 03 is not quite so fantastical to begin with. and then by contrast the quick pacing of brotherhood turns a lot of people off to the slow burn storytelling.

hnnnng nobody ever reviews part 2 of cold hands cold heart because smut is embarrassing i guess so if you still wanna send that you totally can >>>>>> I don't have to publish the ask if you don't want to me to wwjwowkwkwk

oh damn that's so nice 🤗🥳 i feel so powerful when people tell me that i've made something they like with a character they don't. tbh historia's character got ruined in the end with the baby and ...being a fascist... but i loved her so much in seasons 2 and 3. royal govt arc supremacy. i kinda hate the way the fandom interprets her too. shhh it's okay, just come over here and pretend like the shitty interpretations don't exist... tbh I think historia would be very lonely and sad, maybe a little bit demanding but not a total freak lmao. aa thank you so much as always!! i thought it turned out so cute & i'm glad you agree!

i totally agree. same with how in canon she'll be saying something balls to the wall crazy and i'm just like 🤩😍 i'd be doing the same thing in any interpretation of Yelena lmaooo i do really know how to pick em, huh? i love my crazies on this blog. i shrieked and shrieked when we got multiple yelena shots in that s4 p2 trailer!! im going to combust

oh my god 🥺 you're welcome j! that's so kind of you, you so totally didn't have to say that for me to know - there's thanks in every ask u send me! you're amazing and I appreciate you so much 😍🤗

oh btw! if you ever want to send me multiple messages that's totally fine. i'm also trying not to come off as like 👇😠🤬 send more asks lmao because it's more like, i just had my normal schedule disrupted bc knee and then i had the biggest zone out of all time & forgot to speak to anybody besides my wife and maybe my mom for days at a time, oops.

[alvadee]

I was reading on Victor's wiki that it says he was closeted and lived with same sex partners But have not seen any source on that I was wondering what your thoughts on that are?

Actually his wikipedia used to say that he “openly” lived together with same sex partners, I personally changed it to closeted (which might not be the perfect term for his situation but the best short one) because I have read so much material from the 60s and 70s and talked with so many people who knew or met him that I can safely say that he kept his sexuality a secret to nearly everyone. As far as I can tell it wasn’t even an open Hollywood secret. He was definitely not “openly” living with any partners he had.

The quote is from the book “Behind the screen: how gays and lesbians shaped Hollywood, 1910-1969” by William J. Mann and was published in 2001. He has written several books about the queer history of Hollywood and was featured in documentaries on that topic. As far as I know he’s the only person who ever, in a printed publication, claimed in such clear words that Victor was gay. Like, there have been a few rumors over the years, after all he was “a bachelor”, but not in the wide spread, open secret kind of way. I sent a mail to Mann like a year ago to ask him what his source was for the quote but alas, I got no reply.

He writes in his book: “More and more of Hollywood’s gays bucked the marriage route of the past two decades and returned to an earlier tradition of living with their same-sex partners: Dick Sargent and his scriptwriter boyfriend; Jack Larson and producer James Bridges; Raymond Burr and Robert Benevides; Victor Buono and a series of young men.”

I’ve often noticed that many people have interpret “a series of young men” as Victor being quite the gay playboy. Which I think is hard to believe because he kept his sexuality/actual dating life very secret (and I think the more active it is the less secret it becomes) and he doesn’t strike me as the type. But that’s my subjective opinion. I also wonder what the point is with specifying “young” men. Victor passed away when he was 43, he was still a young man when he was alive. Were his boyfriends all twenty or what does it mean? 

So I don’t know. I’m pretty sure Victor was gay but I could only find one person yet who knew him personally and knew he was gay and no one who knew anything about his gay dating life. I would like to know who Mann’s source is but without knowing that it’s “eh”. The “series of young men” can be true, doesn’t have to be, since books about the “oh so scandalous and secret gay Hollywood!!” are often mixed with made up stuff and rumors.

In general this part of his wiki seems a bit biased. It also includes the quote:  "I've heard or read about actors being asked the immortal question, 'Why have you never married?' They answer with the immortal excuse, 'I just haven't found the right girl.' Because I'm on the hefty side, no one's asked me yet. If they do, that's the answer I'll give. After all, if it was good enough for Monty Clift or Sal Mineo..." 

I could never find a source for it but have been told by Johnny Carson fans that he most likely said it once on the Tonight Show. And publicly, on a talk show back then, he could have just meant it as a funny quip (with maybe some truth in it). Like, why would he randomly out himself there? People take this quote as a serious confession today! It seems like cherry picking, because I could go and post one of the many interviews he gave where he talked about dating or wanting to date women. Suddenly the situation wouldn’t look so crystal clear anymore. 

I have the impression people want to claim him as someone in gay Hollywood history who was pretty out of the closet at a time when it was very dangerous and rare, without actually knowing much about the man himself. Victor kept this part of his life completely hidden, and If I can believe one source, he felt pretty miserable about it. I wish people would just leave him be, we don’t know anything about that part of his life and unless that changes I feel there’s no need to twist his image in any direction. He had to be in the closet because he had homophobic family members, because he grew up very Catholic and because of his acting career. He said in interviews that he was dating women and some sources claim he was interested in women. If he ever really was involved with any women, I don’t know. But he didn’t marry to keep up appearances. And we don’t know how he actually felt about it all, most likely we’ll never know.

[jisungshotfirst]

(The anon who recognized inukai and also can't think of a nicknam yet) you watched the bl! How was it? I haven't seen it yet, but I know some people who really enjoyed it!

As for Japanese dramas and their storylines... I'm not too sure if it's a general j-drama thing, or just part of the sub-genre that those 2 shows fit into? They call the sub-genre Tokusatsu: it's basically live action drama, but with a lot of sci-fi or fantasy elements, which are usually added using practical effects (or some computer and cgi as well).

There's a bunch of these tokusatsu shows (or toku, for short) in Japan, but I think there's a few in other countries too. In fact, I think TXT is singing an ost for a Korean toku show called Armoured Saurus? And if you really wanted to stretch the definition, you could even call shows like Dr. Who a toku.

Anyway, some of these shows are really out-of-this-world eith their stories. But some of them are a lot more down-to-earth... sort of (as down-to-earth as you can get in a sci-fi or fantasy type of show). An example is an older show from around 2004 called Kamen Rider Blade, which helped inspire Inukai and Eiji's characters' dynamic in Build. It's about this dude who's trying to save the city from the undead, but also just just trying to survive losing his job and getting kicked out by the landlady right from episode 1. He meets a mysterious dude who's like an adoptive dad to this other human family. And then protagonist dude and the mysterious dude become rivals-to-biker-friends-to-lovers. Like a few years later the actors even started making little matching rings for the characters. Also there's a wooden park bench at the end. And I can't explain why without spoilers, but everyone hates that park bench.

Ah I'm so sorry I left this so long I read it once you sent it I just didn't answer fjfj.

I didn't really like the bl ngl fjdj there were definitely aspects to like and I enjoyed the side plot with the brother a lot ! And all the acting was quite nice, just the plot and the main character aren't rly my thing but I'm still glad I watched!

Thank you for all this new info this is so interesting !! The fact that you can call dr who a toku ... incredible. Go Japan and their incredible skill of giving interesting concepts a name.

That sounds incredible holy shit we love found family and enemies to lovers .... AND apocalypse this has everything .. and it's gay. Incredible. ... I have never seen this but imma trust u, fuck the park bench.