#why is he so alive on the dash today i literally AM BARELY SURVIVING

[seiwas]

i need iwaizumi hajime (27)

[raendown]

A story for @insaneflowergirl as part of the @madatobigiftexchange! Only took me six days to realize it’s June. A grand improvement over the last couple months. xD

Pairing: MadaraTobirama Word count: 4049 Rated: T+ Fandom: Naruto Summary: Trapped together by an avalanche in the middle of a mission, Madara and Tobirama make a passing attempt at dealing with the discovery that they are soulmates. And also the discovery that there is only one bed to share for the night.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info in the header!

Warmth in Winter Hearts

“I don’t suppose if I happened to suggest laying down to rest you might actually listen?” 

“You’re not my mother!”

Tobirama pressed the bridge of his nose tightly between two fingers and breathed slowly. “Gods but I hope not. I have neither the parts nor the patience for that.”

Across the cavern Madara scowled, looking very much like he was only moments away from sticking out his tongue. If he were perfectly honest Tobirama would not have been surprised in the least to see that sort of childish behavior after the emotionally taxing week they’d been going through. Getting put on a mission together was bad enough; they fought like cats and dogs in the tower with separate offices to retreat to, how Hashirama expected them to survive an entire month out here in the wilderness together was a mystery. Yet the worst part had to be getting snowed in separate from the man they were meant to be escorting with no way to make sure the idiot was still alive. 

“When we get out of here,” Madara growled, “I’m going to tear out that asshole’s hair strand by strand.”

“I’m not sure how much of a threat that is.”

“Excuse you, that is a terrifying threat.”

“Not everyone is as attached to their hair as you are,” Tobirama pointed out. 

He was already turning away to build up the meager fire he’d hastily thrown together upon realizing they were trapped in here. Still, he could practically feel the weight of dark eyes glaring at him from across the cave, probably staring at the back of head and judging the hair that he kept short purely for utilitarian purposes. If he hadn’t looked so ridiculous the one time he’d shaved it all off he would just do away with the stuff all together. What good did hair really do him? Not much. If his head got cold he could always throw on a hat. Beyond that he’d never found much of a use for it. 

“Maybe if you took better care of yours then you’d understand.”

“I very much doubt that,” Tobirama murmured under his breath.

The glaring intensified but he refused to take the bait. Feeding the fire and making sure they stayed warm throughout the night was much more important than tending to the quicksilver emotions of a man who, until today, had been nothing but a thorn in his side at every turn. If not for this blasted mission he never would have been anything else. Tobirama closed his eyes and counted his breaths in and out, in and out, slowly, evenly, searching for the calm balance that so many people mistook for unfeeling cold. It hadn’t been so difficult to center himself in years. 

As much as he tried, however, calm remained far beyond his reach. He could keep a placid expression for the idiot across the room but on the inside his emotions were tumbling over each other like a business of ferrets all fighting over the same morsel of food. They were soulmates. Even in his own head that felt strange to admit. So many years spent glaring across the battlefield, several more glaring across council tables and mokuton sturdy desks, only now to discover their connection mere hours before they got themselves trapped inside a system of caves by nothing more than a raging blizzard. Honestly if he weren’t so angry at the timing of it all Tobirama might have been impressed by the sheer volume of snow Mother Nature had seen fit to dump over their heads without warning. More so than the weather he was angry at their client. When he’d told that fool to stay close it had been for his own safety, not to ruffle his overinflated ego without reason. Now he’d trapped himself somewhere else in these caves by dashing off just before an avalanche of snow collapsed over the entrance. Madara had offered to melt through it all but there was little point. There would always be more to come down on top. 

Either their client would be dead of cold in the morning or he wouldn’t. Being here with them wouldn’t do much to change that outcome when he’d already declared that he would rather freeze to death than seek body heat from, in his words, lowly shinobi types. Tobirama would rather lose the income from this mission than let such an asshole touch him after words like that. 

“Ugh.” Behind him Madara sniffed a couple of times. “These smell terrible.”

“Probably because you’re still bleeding inside them.” Tobirama didn’t even need to turn around to know what the other was talking about. He’d wrapped those bandages himself only hours before. 

“I should probably change them. But it’s so cold…”

Standing up to brush the snow from his knees, Tobirama nodded shortly. “Cold indeed. An excellent excuse not to care for your wounds. I’ll be sure to share that one with Izuna when he asks how I could allow you to come home with blood poisoning.” 

A smile flickered across his face when the snuffling turned in to barely muted grumbling, probably a bad mockery of him since that was usually Madara’s last defense against being told to do something he already knew he should have been doing. It only took another minute or two of waiting before heavy footsteps were thumping across the snow-dusted rock to pause just at his back. The hand that shoved itself in to his view looked like some child’s imaginative drawing of a zombie, covered as it was in off-white linen turned black in some places with drying blood. 

“If you’re so worried for me then do something about it yourself!” 

“Use your manners if you want help.”

“Fuck you!” Madara snatched his hand back. When Tobirama looked he was cradling it to his chest with a pout that looked all the more ridiculous than usual when set above a full suit of battle-worn armor. “I’ll just do it myself then!” 

“Will you now?”

A raised eyebrow sent his companion storming off to where they had scraped the snow off a few square feet of ground. Dark mutterings made a lovely background tune as Madara dug through both of their packs trying to find the rest of their medical supplies. When he found them he gave a vicious little noise of triumph and then flopped down on to a nearby rock to pick at the knot on the back of his injured hand. It was hardly the only injury either of them had suffered during the past week of escorting their jittery client through one of the most dangerous sections of the border with Yugakure, just the most serious since it hampered the grip Madara needed on his infamous gunbai. He’d trained himself to use the other hand like most shinobi did but his effectiveness in battle was markedly different when doing so, forcing Tobirama to take point constantly rather than switching out by turns. 

“Don’t forget the ointment,” Tobirama called over helpfully, not bothering to hide a snicker when Madara lifted his head to glare in response. 

“I know that!” 

“Ah so you were leaving it behind in the pack, what, to keep it warm?” 

Madara tore off a strip of bandage and hauled it ineffectually through the air, shouting, “Leave me alone!” 

He should. In truth he really should leave the man alone. Both of them needed a little time to process the discovery of their unexpected connection. Unfortunately Tobirama didn’t have nearly half the interpersonal skills his brother did, he’d never really learned when to leave well enough alone, so instead of giving them both a little space he watched the fluttering bandage until it hit the ground and then lifted his face with a smirk. 

“Very effective. I’m all but shaking in my boots.”

“You will be if you ever let me catch you on the training fields alone!” 

“Go on then, we’re alone right now.”

“Fuck off!” Madara grunted.

Tobirama peeked over his shoulder to make sure the fire wasn’t going to collapse on itself and then turned back to his mission partner. “I don’t think I will. You are literally my only entertainment right now.”

“I am not your entertainment!” 

“No, you’re right. You’re more like a natural disaster that I just can’t help watching. It’s human nature, you know? Like a morbid curiosity.”

Even as he spoke the words he knew he was being an ass but, as he’d said, it wasn’t like there was much else for him to do in this godforsaken cave. He might as well get a few licks in while he still had the energy. Watching Madara’s ears turn red with anger was just as fascinating as it had ever been, though having to force his mind away from examining why he was so fascinated was new. 

“If anyone here is morbid it’s you!”

“Well I’m not denying that.”

“Be more insulted!” Madara screeched. “I hate when you do that!”

Tobirama folded his arms and lifted one hand to tap at his chin. “Do what, pray tell?”

“You’re always so fucking unflappable! Just- just- it isn’t fair! Be...flapped! Or something!”

“Flapped?” He’d never heard anything so ridiculous in his life. It was perfectly reasonable that he should throw his head back and start laughing, thoroughly amused by his companion’s loss for words. Madara didn’t seem to appreciate his reaction but really that wasn’t far out of the ordinary. For the most part Madara had never seemed to appreciate much about him at all and until recently that hadn’t exactly bothered him. 

Right now the only thing flapping was Madara’s jaw as the man tried several times to come up with a response, any response at all. In the end he simply tossed the end of the bandage roll in Tobirama’s direction with lethal force and snatched the closest bedroll, storming off to spread it out across the space kicked free of snow. 

It was a shame to have his entertainment taken away so quickly, even more of a shame to know that if he also tried to bed down right now the only spot to do so would be within range of Madara’s vengeful hands, so Tobirama was left very suddenly with the echoes of his own laughter and little else. The grin on his face turned rapidly in to a scowl. Patient he might be when the situation called for it but he’d never been a fan of keeping the company of his own thoughts. Books were much more pleasant. Much less likely to spiral out of control in to dangerous places or earn him another lecture from his older brother. Not having his library at hand was certainly the worst part of any mission he’d ever taken, filled as they usually were with down time in which he had little to do but plan his next move or stare aimlessly at the surroundings. 

As much as it would probably be more interesting to wander off and explore how far back these caves actually went he didn’t think it was in his best interests to take the chance at getting lost. If nothing else Madara would definitely tell on him when they got back to the village. 

For a minute or so their little cavern was filled with the rustling of Madara settling himself down to sleep, wrenching the blankets off again when he realized he hadn’t put away all the medical supplies, then fussing at them to cover himself a second time. Once he finally settled down for good there was nothing but the sound of the fire crackling merrily away. Sealed off as they were from the rest of the world, the fire was their only source of light. If not for the fact that the caves obviously went pretty deep in to the mountain it would have been a very poor idea indeed to let it keep burning away all their oxygen. Tobirama was grateful he didn’t need to put it out. Aside from giving him something to listen to besides the inside of his own head it also gave him something to look at. Or rather it gave him a bit of light by which to stare off in his partner’s direction, studying the length of Madara's body and the shapes he made under the regulation wool blanket. 

Not a good idea. Definitely not a good idea. Tobirama jerked his eyes away as soon as he realized what he was doing. Better if there had been no fire. He’d rather be blind for lack of light and leave himself at the mercy of the Sharingan for seeing any possible threats than to sit here and stare across the snowy rock like some lovelorn maiden. No matter what discoveries had been made that day they were not some pair of star crossed lovers. There was no need for whatever dramatics his face had just been doing. 

Digging both hands in to his eyes with a sigh, Tobirama decided it was probably best if he just went to sleep too. It was still too early for him to be very tired but falling asleep would at least stop him from following wherever the hell his thoughts had just been trying to go. Somewhere much too thespian for his tastes. He wasn't his brother, after all, there was no need for him to sit here and analyze his feelings or some other such nonsense. If the fire burnt down while they slept and he woke to darkness, well, he did still have Madara with him; just because he was rightfully leery of the Sharingan’s powers didn’t mean he was above taking advantage of them when he needed to. Perhaps a little mean when the man was injured by, hey, he wasn’t the one who could see in the dark and that was hardly his own fault. 

Another sigh caught at the edges of his teeth and slipped out sounding more like a hiss when he pushed himself up on to his feet, striding over towards their packs with careful footsteps. There was no telling what sort of uneven ground could be hiding under all this snow. So far away from the dancing flames his already poor vision was even worse so at first Tobirama assumed that Madara had simply kicked everything out of place while looking for the bandages. It wasn’t until he gathered all of the packs together and dug through every one of them that he realized one very important item was missing. 

His eyes snapped over to the prone figure only feet away. Madara lay stretched out and perfectly still on top of his bed roll. Or, more accurately, the only bedroll. In all the kerfuffle of their client running off and the avalanche trapping them in it appeared they had lost not only some of the food they’d been carrying but also their second sleeping mat. 

If not for the snow on the ground it wouldn’t have been such a big deal. He still had a blanket and it wasn’t like he’d never bedded down for the night without something comfortable to lie on, catching a few hours up a tree whenever he had to and doing so without complaint. The problem was that lying down on frozen rock had only one outcome and with both of them already injured in various ways he certainly couldn’t take the risk of waking up with pneumonia when there was a perfectly viable - if crushingly embarrassing - solution snoozing peacefully right there. He really hoped Madara wasn’t too comfy just yet. 

“What?” his partner snarled when he was nudged lightly with one foot. 

“Shove over,” Tobirama demanded. 

“The fuck? There is literally a whole cave of space, go make your bed somewhere else.”

“Can’t. I have to share your bed so shove over, Uchiha.”

Madara snapped upright so fast they both heard something in his back pop, though neither paid it much attention. “You fucking what now?”

“There appears to be a distinct lack of a second bedroll anywhere so unless you want me sneezing all over your bandages when I inevitably have to change them you will shove the hell over.” Tobirama crossed both arms over his chest like they could hold in all the confusing emotions trying very hard to bubble their way to the surface. 

He wasn’t sure what to think of the way Madara’s jaw hung open wordlessly, couldn’t properly make out the nuances of that expression without more light to see by. Maybe if he weren’t standing at such an angle as to throw the other man in shadow- but to step aside now so he could see better would be to admit how bad his eyes really were and that was a weakness he’d never bothered to share even with his own brother. He settled instead for standing his ground until that rounded jaw snapped shut again for Madara to harrumph loudly. 

“Fucking- are you serious? This is ridiculous! Where did the other bedroll go?”

“Probably lost in the snow somewhere but I would honestly much rather be sleeping right now than trying to guess at things I may never have an answer to. So. Shove. Over. I will not say it again.”

Ignoring Madara’s voice shouting in his ear was as easy as tuning him out, a feat barely comparable to the task of tuning out Hashirama in the middle of high drama. Tobirama untied his armor and set it all aside carefully. By the time he turned back he noticed that, although the screaming hadn’t so much as paused, Madara had gone ahead and moved over a few inches anyway. He did give vent to a few choked noises when Tobirama slid in under the covers with him but it wasn’t difficult to parse out why. Tobirama was still up on one elbow when he paused to examine their situation.

Which way was he supposed to face? They would both be warmer if he faced inwards and curled himself around Madara’s back but such a position felt much too intimate. Facing away from each other would be blessedly less intimate but there wasn’t exactly a whole lot of space on the mat beneath them and it would take only a single shift for one of them to roll away from the other, taking all the blankets with them. Sleeping on his back was generally the way he preferred but, again, space was the main issue. He would have to lay half on the snow to do that. 

“Just...just pick something and go to sleep,” Madara grumbled.

“Eager to cuddle?” Tobirama snapped at him, a response born more of habit than any particular ire. 

“Fuck off!” 

Just for that Tobirama slumped down on to his right side and made sure to curl in as close as possible, grinning viciously to himself as the other man stiffened noticeably. He himself was far from immune to the awkwardness but petty spite had always driven him faster than any care for his own comfort. If Madara hated this then he would lie here awake all night before he rolled over to make them both comfortable. 

It would have been nice, he admitted silently after several minutes, having enough mercy in his soul to relent and just roll over. Tomorrow promised to be an absolute bastard of a day, not least because the task of digging them out of this place would undoubtedly fall mostly on his own shoulders. He definitely could use some rest before tackling that. Instead he lay there with eyes wide open staring at the back of Madara’s head and wondering what reactions he might get if he pulled on some of that bristling hair. Almost as though the man could hear his thoughts Madara curled in to himself a little tighter. The movement was an innocent one. The way it pushed Madara’s rump in to the cradle of Tobirama’s hips was most decidedly not an innocent result even if it was obviously unintentional. 

“Nnngg!?” 

“Very intelligent,” Tobirama breathed, not wanting to speak louder for fear the sudden rush of want running through him might be heard in his voice. 

“That wasn’t- I didn’t- fuck off, Senju!” 

“I will have you know that it is taking all of my energy not to instinctually respond with an implication you would rather I fuck you instead.”

Madara’s screech could probably be heard through the several feet of snow blocking their cave entrance. “It doesn’t count if you still say it you idiot!” 

Yet for all the screaming protests he went on to ring both of their ears with, Madara’s reaction notably lacked one thing. He never once tried to move away. Oh he waved the arm he wasn’t lying on and jawed until Tobirama began to wonder if he wasn’t wearing down the bones of his own skull from overuse but not once did he so much as tilt his hips in to a different position. 

Such telling body language gave Tobirama all the clues he needed to figure out exactly what he’d missed in their earlier conversation. It was possible these types of clues were something he’d been missing in all of their past interactions, body language he never noticed simply because he tried to look at the other man as little as possible. To his shame such a habit had been built entirely on the premise that Madara hated it when people didn’t pay attention to him. From now on he promised himself he would pay closer attention - even if he might not let Madara see such efforts. Just because he was begrudgingly interested didn’t mean he was willing to set that spite down just yet. Some habits took longer to break than others. 

And some would never fade but maybe that was more of a personal failing than anything else. 

“White flag.” The words were out and hanging in the air before Tobirama even realized his mouth had decided to speak before his brain had a proper sentence ready. In front of him Madara stiffened impossibly further. 

“The hell are you on about?”

“I...am waving a white flag. We both need rest. This is, ah, comfortable enough. Let’s just put any further arguments or conversations on hold until tomorrow and go to sleep.” 

Madara seemed to chew that over for a moment until he asked very quietly, “Like this?” 

“I am comfortable if you are.”

He half expected to have the man roll over and deck him in the face for such presumptions. When the silence began to stretch he wondered if he was meant to take it as agreement until he heard very quiet words drift back to caress his ears, a softer sound than he had ever heard from this man in his life. 

“Your arms’ll go numb sleeping like that. Might as well...might as well stretch them out.” 

“Ah. I didn’t presume-”

Tobirama cleared his throat before very carefully shifting back to make room for where both of his arms were folded tightly against Madara’s back. When he stretched one out neither of them said anything about Madara lifting his head to make room for it beneath the pillow they shared. And when he stretched the other out with very delicate movements they both remained utterly silent as he laid it gently across Madara’s waist. 

It was the subtle relaxing of all the muscles pressed up against his front that finally made everything click. Oh but he was a blind man. A very blind man with terrible vision to boot. If anyone asked he was going to blame every misunderstanding on the man in his arms with zero shame. 

Tomorrow they would wake to fight their way past the snow and put in at least a token effort to find their wayward client. Somewhere along the way they would search for the supplies that got lost in the shuffle. But as he closed his eyes Tobirama smiled to realize neither one of them was likely to put a whole lot of work in to finding that second bedroll they had lost, not when it seemed their newly discovered bond was something Madara wanted much more than he’d let on before. 

[thebellarkes]

Six Years and Seven Days

This is pretending that Bellamy could hear Clarke talking all those years, she just can’t hear him responding, and that the ship at the end is them coming back to Earth. 

So...pain. 

Day Three

“Bellamy…are you up there? Are you alive? Is anyone alive?”

Static.

“I only woke up yesterday. At least, I think it was yesterday. I barely made it into the bunker in time, but I made it. And the computer says it’s been three days since the radiation hit, and I was so hungry I thought I might die. Please tell me you didn’t die.”

Silence.

“Bellamy, my mom was right. In a way. My face is disgusting, covered in boils. You’d be laughing at me…probably. Because she was right but so were you. I’m not dead Bellamy. I hope you aren’t either.”

His fingers slammed on the respond button, pushing it down to the point of it feeling like it would crack from the pressure.

“I’m not dead, Clarke. I’m not dead.”

Day Six

“I’ve been going through the computer system, and most of it looks like complete rubbish to me. I know Raven could make sense of it, but for now, I’m just guessing that it’s telling me I have enough oxygen for a year. I think it’s enough. I mean, my nightblood worked, right? Which means, I could survive, outside. I just don’t know if I’m brave enough to test it yet. But, I’ve got a year to build up the courage.”

Static.

“If you were here, you’d give me a rousing speech about how bravery comes from need, not from time, and I’d probably be out those doors in a second. But you’re not here and I don’t need to test it yet. So, I’m gonna keep testing the radio, and see if the signal is actually going anywhere, because I know there’s no way in hell you’re just ignoring me up there, so…I’ll try again tomorrow.”

“Stay inside, Princess. Please, stay inside.”

Day Thirty-Nine

“I found a box full of stale crackers that look like they came from the lighthouse. Tell John that he left them behind, will ya? And also, tell him I ate all of them.”

He laughed, and hoped that even though he couldn’t hear it, she was laughing too. “I’ll tell him.” He said, still holding down the respond button, despite knowing that she wouldn’t receive the message. “I’ll tell him.”

“Also…Bellamy, it’s lonely, down here.”

Day Eighty-Four

“Okay, I’m gonna tell you something, something I’ve never told anyone before, and whatever you think, you can’t laugh at me. You promise?”

Silence.

She took a deep breath in. “Okay, so this is one of my biggest secrets, cos it’s so embarrassing, but when I was fourteen, I had a crush on this girl in my Earth Skills class, Danny. She was about a year older than me, and my god Bellamy, she was beautiful. But, I had no idea how to talk to her, there were always people around, and we lived on different stations, and I was hopeless, okay? Completely hopeless.”

Bellamy couldn’t picture a single time in the space he’d known her where she’d been hopeless. It was an entertaining thought.

“Anyway, one day, I got Wells to create a diversion outside the classroom before everyone else could come in, so me and Danny were in the room, alone, together. And I’d kinda borrowed one of the security codes of one of the council members to set off the solar flare alarm and have all the doors sealed.”

“Oh my god…” He breathed to himself, a grin already taking over his face.

“Yeah, I can see you laughing at me, I told you not to do that.” He bit down on the smile. “Anyway, me and Danny are finally alone, and I’m thinking that this is my chance. What I didn’t know is that she was deathly afraid of solar flares, so she starts hyperventilating, and I’m freaking the hell out cos I have no idea what to do, anD THEN.” She paused, and for a moment, he thought the feed had cut out, and a surge of panic swelled in his gut. Until, “THE IDIOT PASSED OUT! RIGHT ONTO THE HARD METAL FLOOR OF THE CLASSROOM!” Bellamys laugh made its way out of his mouth before he could stop himself. She’d asked him not to laugh.

“So, Danny hits the ground and it splits her head open, and now she’s bleeding all over the place, and I’m trying to stop it, and the Ark officials are trying to figure out why the hell the alarms went off when there was no solar flare and eventually they sorted it out, and everything was fine, but Bellamy, I tried to flirt with a girl and she ended up with six stitches in her forehead, and a council member got fired.”

“Wow.” He shook his head. “Completely and utterly hopeless.”

Day One Hundred and Two

“Remember when I left after Mount Weather? When I told you I wasn’t going inside, the look on your face was one of the worst things I’ve ever seen. And by worst I don’t mean ugly, or bad, I just mean the feeling it gave me was something I never want to feel again.”

“It’s okay, Princess. I forgave you for that.”

Day Two Hundred and Ninety-Nine

“It’s almost been a year. And I figured out a way to keep the oxygen scrubbers operating for longer but…I wanna go outside. I need to see it, Bellamy. I know it’s stupid, because I grew up on the Ark, I was never meant to be outside, but god, I miss it. I miss it.”

Silence.

“I miss you.”

Day Three Hundred and Seventy

“The sun, Bell! You should see it! It was this amazing colour yesterday, not yellow, but green! Green, Bell! A green sun! It was fucking amazing! I hope you can see it from up there.” She paused for a moment, choking on her excitement. “But I guess, to you, it just looks like the sun. No green, cos no radiation. I’m telling you, though, it’s amazing.”

“I guess I’ll have to take your word for it.”

Day Five Hundred and Twelve

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I know, I didn’t check in yesterday. I was…trying to figure out a way to get the radio mobile. I wanna walk to Arkadia, see if the Rover’s still in a drivable condition. But there’s no way in hell I’m going all that way without taking you with me, so if I drop out for a few days, I screwed up. But don’t worry. I’ll fix it.”

Silence.

“You better.”

“She’s gonna screw it up.”

“Shut up, Raven.”

“What? Clarke is smart, but her mind is not geared towards engineering in any way. She’s gonna fry the wires before she figures how to get it mobile.”

“She’ll do it.”

“Mm hm.”

Day Five Hundred and Forty-One

“Okay, so it took a little longer than I thought but I did itttttttt. Raven and Monty would be so proud of me right now, Bellamy, because I am talking to you from inside Arkadia. I mean, what’s left of it, but I did it. And, the Rover looks pretty much intact, aside from a few large tree branches sitting on it. But, I’ll have those off in no time.”

“They’ll be proud when I tell em, Princess. I’m proud of you too.”

Day Five Hundred and Forty-Two

“Bell…I found Jasper…or…what’s left of him. And Riley and so many others. God…I don’t…I also found their moonshine…I think I drank a little too much, but Bell, I think I deserve it. I think I’m allowed to have a drink, aren’t I? You said that, didn’t you? We deserve a drink? Yeah, we do, and since you might be dead and I might be talking to myself right now, I had enough drinks for both of us.”

Day Five Hundred and Eight-Five

“I drove around for two days and couldn’t find any signs of life anywhere around Arkadia…which makes perfect sense. It’s what we predicted. Nothing was supposed to survive this, and I shouldn’t be surprised, right?”

“You survived it. Don’t forget about that part. You survived it, Clarke.”

Day Six Hundred

“Holy fucking shit Bell, you would not believe what happened today. Take a guess.”

“I have no idea.” He laughed at the giddiness in her voice, his feet propped up on the dash beside the coms system.

“Okay, enough guessing, I’m just gonna tell you. I found someone! A person! An actual, living, breathing person, Bell, holy fuck! She’s alive, I mean, alive! She’s a nightblood, Bell, her names Madi, she’s amazing. She survived all this time, on her own.”

Beneath the excitement for her, that she wouldn’t have to be alone anymore, something twisted inside him. God, he was jealous. Curse him, for being jealous of someone who had to go through what Clarke had gone through.

“I think she’s about eight. She’s not entirely sure either, cos, y’know, nuclear apocalypse has kinda distracted us from birthdays, but she looks about eight, and god, Bell, she’s perfect. You’d love her.”

He lifted a hand and scrubbed it down his face, scoffing at his own stupidity.

“I’m gonna take care of her. Got any tips for me?”

“Teach her everything you know. Not just about Earth and survival. Everything. About the Ark, and its history, and the world before the Ark, and the world before the world was advanced enough to build the Ark. Teach her everything you know, Clarke. I know you’ll be amazing at it.”

“I’m just gonna do what I think you’d do. That should be enough.”

Day Seven Hundred and Thirty

“Two years, exactly. Feels weird. You know what I realised the other day? I hadn’t even known you for a year, when you went back into space.” She scratched her nose, willing the tears to not form. “Less than a year, and you somehow became one of the most important people in my life.”

He sat in the command centre, fists clutched around his shirt. “Same to you, Princess.”

Day Seven Hundred and Ninety-Six

“Okay-” Static. “N-” Static. “Don-”

“What the hell?” He murmured, and sat upright. The static continued. “No, no, no.” He tapped furiously on the control panel, even though he could do literally nothing from where he was sitting. “Raven!” He shouted, and turned back to the speaker, staring at it, as if he could will it into working. “Come on, Clarke. Talk to me.”

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Raven came running into the room, Monty, Harper and the others close behind.

“It’s Clarke, I think something’s wrong.”

“Bellamy, you know we can’t do anything from up here.” Raven put a soft hand on his shoulder.

“No, she has to-”

“Hello? Can he hear me? Hello?” A voice, not Clarke’s, and heavily laden with an accent came over the speaker.

“Yeah, sweetie, he can hear you, he just can’t respond. Now remember, don’t press that one, okay? Only-”

Static.

“Oops.”

Bellamy let a deep breath out and looked up, thanking whoever was out there listening.

“Wait, who’s that with her?”

“Madi.” Bellamy guessed. “Clarke’s been teaching her English, and she’s been begging for a turn on the radio.”

“Even though Clarke has no idea we can hear her and she’s teaching a child to shout into the void?”

“Shut up John.”

“Hi Bellamy. I’m Madi. Clarke told me she talks to you every day, but that I can have a turn sometimes.”

In the background, Clarkes voice crackled through the speaker. “Yeah, sometimes. Tell him I said hi.”

“Clarke says hi.”

Bellamy smiled, and grasped Raven’s hand. “Hi, Princess.”

Day Eight Hundred and Sixty-Seven

“I found an old depot, that I guess was supposed to be bunker, at some point. Completely caved in on itself, to the point of being pathetically sad. It’s weird, when you think about the range in architecture, from the bunkers that literally survived two apocalypses…apocalie? Nah, apocalypses. Yeah, some survived two and other just…splat. Makes you wonder about who was building what. But anyway, we found guns. Cool ones. Madi wanted to play with them, but uh, I followed my instinct and packed them in the rover. Good call, right? I mean, I just tried to picture what you would do if a nine-year-old Octavia tried to pick up a gun, and I figured letting her play with it was not one of the answers. So, yeah.”

He smiled. She wasn’t wrong.

“I’m gonna have to practise now. I can use a handgun just fine, but these are rifles Bellamy. Long range. And this time, I don’t have you to teach me…Do you remember that? God, it seems like so long ago. I mean, I guess it was.”

The memory came flooding back; the day trip, the bunker, teaching her how to hold a gun, the hallucination, the fight, and then her, sitting there, just existing, being exactly what he needed her to be in that moment.

“I know that we were both tripping on those nuts for most of that day, but when we got down in the bunker, and you showed me how to shoot, there was this moment, where your hand was resting on me and I swear you got flustered. Bellamy Blake, getting flustered from touching a girl. Maybe that was part of the hallucination, but I like to think it wasn’t. I like to think there was something in you that thought I was worth getting flustered over.”

“You were worth all of it.” He murmured. “You are worth all of it.”

Day Nine Hundred and Twelve

“We are officially at the halfway point, Bell. Halfway through out time apart. Maybe this half will go a little quicker.”

Day One Thousand One Hundred and Ninety

“I haven’t gone to Polis yet. I probably should’ve done it a while ago, just to see if there were any people around and alive, and to check on the bunker, but…I don’t know how much I trust myself to not open it. I mean, I know I won’t open it, but what if they all died? What if it wasn’t actually sealed, and they’re all dead down there, and I’ll never know?” There was silence for a moment, and he thought she’d gone for the day. “Sorry. You don’t need to think about that. Octavia and my mom are down there, bossing people around and drinking nice, purified water, while I’m stuck with the river stuff that tastes like dead fish. And, I will know, soon enough. After the five years have passed, they’ll all be back up here, with me.”

He nodded to himself. The people in the bunker would be fine. They were fine, and had been for this entire time. Just like him, and everyone in space.

“And you.” The channel stayed open and it sounded like she was holding back tears. “For god’s sake, Bellamy, you better come back.”

Day One Thousand Five Hundred and Eighteen

“I was thinking about the dropship the other day, and you with that nasty, gelled back hair, and how I was so confused that you were on the dropship, because you looked way too old to have been in the Sky Box, when I realised something. You were twenty-three when that happened, right?”

“Yeah.” He sighed.

“I’m gonna be twenty-three when you come back down. So, when I see you again, I’m gonna be the age you were the first time you saw me. I don’t know why that matters. I just feel like it does.”

“If you think it matters, Princess, then it matters. We’ll talk about why when I get there.”

“And, also, you’re gonna be twenty-eight. God! That sounds so old! You’re gonna be an old man, Bellamy. You’re gonna come back, and I’m not gonna recognise you, cos you’ll be an old man with a walking stick and a big grey beard.”

“Very funny.”

“Yeah…you’re laughing at me. I’m just kidding. And don’t worry Bell. I’ll always recognise you.”

Day One Thousand Seven Hundred and Ninety-Five

“Holy hell, Bellamy one month. One moth left and you should be able to come back! I’ve been counting down the days, could you tell? I swear, if you’ve been up there this whole time, not hearing this, I’m gonna kick the crap out of the radio. One thousand, seven hundred and ninety-five days of talking to you for nothing…that would piss me off.”

Static.

“Actually, I’m gonna take back what I said. This wasn’t for nothing. Even if you can’t hear me.”

Day One Thousand Eight Hundred and Three

“Madi asked me what you look like the other day. She’s really excited to meet you. I showed her one of the drawings I did, just so she wouldn’t get you confused with someone else and crash-tackle John to the ground. Although, I think that’d be fairly entertaining.”

“Aww, Princess. You drew me?”

“I can just hear you voice, making fun of me. Yes, I drew you Bellamy. I drew everything that was important to me. All the things I never want to forget. Mostly you.”

The humour fell from his mind, replaced by a flooding, all-encasing, need. God, he missed her.

“Anyway, Madi is excited, but I don’t think she’s gonna beat me to you. Because, I swear to god and the sky and the trees and every single star in the fucking universe, the second I see you, I won’t be able to control myself, I’m going to run harder than I ever have before and once I have you in my arms, Bell, I’m never letting go again.”

“Good.” He said. “Don’t.”

Day One Thousand Eight Hundred and Twenty-Five

“You didn’t come.”

   “Why didn’t you come?”

   “Bellamy, please come back. Please be alive.”

Day One Thousand Nine Hundred and Fifty-Seven

“One hundred and thirty-two days, Bell. You’ve had one hundred and thirty-two days since it was safe. It took Madi and I this entire week to find where the bunker should be. Everything is just wreckage. I don’t know if we’ll be able to get through all of it. So, we just have to wait, I guess. Once they open the door, the wreckage will fall in a certain spot, and we’ll know that’s where to dig. Just have to wait. Wait for them…wait for you. Bell…I feel like I’m going to spend the rest of my life waiting.”

“I’m sorry, Princess. Just a little longer. I’m coming.” He said, pushing down on that infernal respond button that served no purpose but to taunt him. “I promise.”

Day Two Thousand One Hundred and Ninety-Nine

“Bellamy…If you can hear me…If you’re alive, it’s been two thousand, one hundred and ninety-nine days since Praimfaya. I don’t know why I still do this every day. Maybe it’s my way of staying sane. Not forgetting who I am. Who I was. It’s been safe for you to come down for over a year now. Why haven’t you? The bunkers gone silent, too. We tried digging them out for a while, but…there was too much rubble. I haven’t made contact with them either.”

He looked at Raven, and she nodded. “We’re doing this, Bellamy. We’re ready to go, as soon as you are.

“Anyway, I still have hope. Tell Raven to aim for the one spot of green and you’ll find me.”

“Where would that be? Can you see it?”

“Yeah. Raven pointed out the window. “I know exactly where to go.”

“Then let’s go.” He smiled widely, and she smacked his arm excitedly. He turned back towards the speaker, and he knew this would be the last time. Soon, he would hear her voice, her real voice, not transmitted over miles and miles of space, but from her, she would be right there, he would hear her, and she would finally, finally, hear him.

The launch protocol sounded and they pulled away from the ring, more than ready to be done with this place, her voice echoing around the pod, reminding them why they were going back, and why they were alive, in the first place.

“The rest of the planet, from what I’ve seen, basically sucks.”

Smiles all around, even at the grim news. Even if it sucked, it would be better than space.

“Get ready for re-entry.” Raven warned, and they all held tight to their seatbelts.

“So…”

He barely heard her speaking over the sound of the pod plummeting through the atmosphere, too distracted by the clanging of metal pushing against the elements, until they finally slowed down and he could all be see her smile when she said, “Never mind. I see you.”

The landing was less than a minute, but it was the longest minute of Bellamys life, and he barely heard Ravens warning about the ground around the pod being hot, when he jumped out, skipping the ladder entirely, to look around, and where was she, where was she, where-

“Bellamy.” He heard it, even though it was less than a whisper, and then she was sprinting, sprinting like promised, towards him, and he was ready for that moment, that first moment, when she dove into his arms and he was ready, so ready, to catch her.

“Bellamy.” She said again, only it wasn’t a whisper, it was a prayer, a song, her hallelujah.

“I got you.” He ran his hands down her back, laced his fingers through her hair, held her as tight as he fucking could. “I see you, too.”

She trembled is his arms, nails digging through his space suit, into his back, and he thanked god and the sky and the trees and every fucking star in the universe for that feeling.

“I knew you were alive. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.” She sobbed. “I knew it. You had to be alive, I knew it.”

“I heard you.” He whispered into her hair. “Every day, I heard you.”

She leaned back, her arms not moving from where they were tied around his waist, but just enough to look him in the eye. “You did?”

“Every day.”

“Good.” She sniffed. “It would’ve been really embarrassing if I was talking to myself that entire time.”

He let out a laugh, in awe of her, that she was here, in his arms, holding him as tight as he was holding her.

Her eyes searched his face, the face she had been dreaming of for the last six years, the face she had drawn hundreds of times, traced in the dirt, described so many times the words almost didn’t seem real, but they were and he was, and she hadn’t forgotten a thing about his face, his beautiful face, with its beautiful freckles and beautiful nose and beautiful lips, and curse her, she needed to kiss him.

So she did, hard and soft, her lips pressed right against his, and they were everything she’d imagined, the feeling was everything she’d imagined as he kissed her back and held her tight and she knew he’d never leave her again.