#why the hell arent the images side by sideing they are in the editor ... ive tried to fix it . i cant. sorry for the massive images

[kkoct-ik]

Do you have any recs on media depicting DID that you find helpful/relatable?

oh boy do i. although a lot of media i enjoy on the basis of portraying DID isn't intentionally doing so, and it's more a matter of subtext. at the end of the day DID is a disorder of fragmented identity, being unconscious of yourself, & suppressing parts of yourself, and these are experiences that are honestly universal. it's just about the degree.

therefore my list may be a bit crap. but i'll explain my reasonings.

first there needs to be an obligatory plug for my current boys.

i think mikoto kayano from milgram (canon!) really hits the nail on the head, but you really need to do some reading between the lines. this probably isn't where to start if you're new to DID rep. as an interactive project, a large part of his character is how he interacts with the audience's stigmas, and his character does intentionally play into them (both in terms of how the media frames him, and how he as a character acts).

(he's actually also ended up being the only character on this list with canon DID, i think because unfortunately when it comes to portraying DID, the social perception of it and stereotypes drastically impact how writers approach it. the most human characters that portray the struggles of DID to me often don't realise they're doing so (or they're speaking to a more generalised experience, that still resonates with me), and conversely the medias that seek to intentionally write DID often miss the mark because they forget that people with DID are human, and not a hollywood trope.)

thankfully i've written ample essays on him and intend to write more. i think overall, despite being a canon mass murderer (lol), he is framed sympathetically, and it brings me a lot of joy that they go the extra mile to a) portray indistinct alters (in that 'john' does not regard 'mikoto' in the third person, and has no distinct personhood until it is convenient to frame himself in this way) and b) portray complicated internal relationships (in 'john's devotion to mikoto's health and mikoto's aggressive rejection and disownment of everything 'john' stands for as a result of their collective investment in their stability).

sure he killed people, but so did 9 other prisoners, and crucially, he didn't kill people Because of his DID. his DID just impacts how he copes with the repurcussions. so i think they're neat.

in terms of other media i think really gets it close, i'll unironically pitch sunny/omori from omori and mob/shigeo from mob psycho 100.

both medias deal with repressing parts of yourself after traumatising events to the point you consider them a different person, self hatred and resentment through dissociative selves, the feeling of a lack of autonomy, identity discontinuation, the desire to erase the parts of you you hate, dysphoria and shame between different parts' actions, and end with both parts accepting one another in heartwrenching displays of self compassion and trauma processing. they make me so fucking emotional.

for neither stories the DID themes are the focus (omori is primarily an RPG, and mob's dissociation and trauma is mainly explored in only the final arc), and also neither are intentional representation/subtext. but both medias are really good regardless, and the dissociative subtext AND HAPPY ENDINGS they do have is very important to me.

for something a little more silly. despite not being DID, and also not even really dealing with issues of DID, greed/ling from fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood were unironically really helpful for me when i was first diagnosed.

partway through the show ling gets functionally possessed by the incarnation of greed, and has his body taken over. but the show really develops their dynamic by the end -- they develop a trusting relationship, switch between themselves depending on what situation they were most suited for, and eventually reconsile their ideological differences (realising they actually have a lot in common, lol) and develop a respect and ownership over their lives and motivations (one message greed learns early is that despite feeling like his old life was 'not his', it is, and his disowning it through killing bido causes him unfathomable, unexplainable grief).

they were helpful for me with conceptualising positive inner relationships and tackling issues of autonomy and ownership despite feeling like you occupy a body with strangers, and have been dropped into a life that is not your own.

and finally, not a character like the others but a media as a whole, but HOLY SHIT am i nima hit the nail on the head for me with what DID feels like. my friend made me play the demo this week (FREE ON STEAM!) and it made me feel INSANE.

the mechanic of word association felt to me exactly like what it's like to navigate memories in dissociative amnesia - sometimes you feel like you're reaching in the dark, and associations just pop up, and you don't entirely know why. the overarching story of being in an abusive household and having your identity controlled and judged by your mother absolutely ruined me. the cycle of being presumably killed and revived until she deems you 'really nima' meaning you find evidence of your past lives that you don't remember, past yous trying to communicate with you, giving you parts of your puzzle you have to piece together in secret. you have a voice in your head that speaks to you, reinforcing shame and the sense that you've done something wrong, but also verbalising violent impulses towards your mother that you are generally disconnected and blank to.

i think everyone should play this game. i can't speak on if it's an intentional metaphor, but to me it's blatant. it's gorgeous, it makes me unwell, and i can't wait for the full thing to come out.